The Dr. John Delony Show
Episode: My Wife Was Caught Embezzling Thousands
Date: September 22, 2025
Host: Dr. John Delony, Ramsey Network
Episode Overview
This episode centers on real-life challenges involving trust, grief, and overwhelming circumstances within families. If features three main caller stories: Chris, whose wife was caught embezzling $15,000 and is facing legal consequences; Sarah, a mother adjusting to an unexpected second set of twins after infertility struggles; and Daniel, who is grappling with guilt and explaining grief to his children after accidentally running over the family dog. Dr. John delivers actionable advice and empathetic support throughout.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Supporting a Spouse Through Legal Crisis – "Chris" (Toronto, Canada)
Segment: [00:05–13:00]
Background
- Chris seeks advice on how to support his wife emotionally and financially after she was caught embezzling $15,000 from her employer.
- Legal consequences include restitution and community service but not jail, partially due to being a first-time offender and her current pregnancy.
- The incident has led to significant financial and emotional strain, with Chris picking up extra work to make ends meet.
Emotions and the Marital Fallout
- Chris admits to deep resentment and emotional exhaustion, sharing that early months were especially rocky but things have slightly improved.
- Chris struggles to articulate his growing sense of "low" and wonders why things don't feel better.
Dr. John’s Guidance
- Validation:
"You’re right to be furious and your right to be embarrassed and your right to feel taken advantage of... you're allowed to be upset and heartbroken..." – Dr. John Delony [03:29] - Discusses the idea that major behavioral breaches rarely occur in a vacuum—there are usually smaller red flags in the past.
- Encourages Chris to identify and articulate his own needs and emotions, rather than always centering others.
Action Steps for Chris
- Self-anchoring:
"Your kids need to be able to anchor into concrete. And you are quicksand... For the first time in your life, I want you—you have to begin to write down... What do I want?" – Dr. John Delony [06:35] - Building Stability:
Chris names "stability" as his need ([08:41]). Dr. John pushes him to define actionable steps to regain self-respect and trust. - Suggests concrete personal routines, exercising agency within the relationship, and forming healthy boundaries—including financial ones if trust is still being rebuilt.
- Advocates male friendships and possibly counseling or men’s groups to strengthen Chris’ support network.
Notable Quotes
- "Stop trying to put out fires and make myself into concrete here so the people around me have something to anchor into." – Chris [11:11]
- "If you steal a thing again, if you lie in this home again, I am going to X, Y, or Z." – Dr. John Delony [11:19]
- "You don’t want a third child. And she doesn’t deserve that from her husband." – Dr. John Delony [12:36]
- The importance of rebuilding trust from the floor up, with clear communication and gradually restoring shared responsibilities.
2. Overwhelmed by Blessings: Pregnancy and Control – "Sarah" (Nashville, Tennessee)
Segment: [15:12–32:00]
Background
- Sarah, already a mother of four (including twins), is now unexpectedly pregnant with a second set of twins.
- Struggles with mixed emotions: gratefulness, overwhelm, concern about financial and emotional capacity, and fear regarding complications (past experience with NICU stays).
Emotions and Societal Pressure
- Sarah shares guilt about not always feeling grateful, given her infertility journey.
- Worries about meeting all her children's unique emotional needs.
Dr. John’s Guidance
- Permission to Feel:
"You're a good mom. All of the emotions are right and okay." – Dr. John Delony [17:03] - Reassures that it's normal and healthy to mourn the disruption of routines and plans, even within blessings.
- "You don’t have to add that. Everyone can see you and know that. You get to say... this sucks." – Dr. John Delony [20:38]
- Explains projection: fears for children's unmet needs often arise from our own childhood wounds.
- Advocates for accepting chaos, holding plans loosely, and giving oneself permission to struggle and grieve.
Action Steps
- Identify and name underlying anxieties—especially those born from personal and family history.
- Establish realistic expectations and flexibility, planning in short manageable timeframes (e.g., “three months at a time”).
- Ensure strong community/friend support and open, practical communication with her spouse.
Notable Quotes & Moments
- "We'll build a bigger table." – Sarah’s husband, in response to accommodating their growing family [25:45]
- Dr. John’s humor and warmth about large families and chaos: "You use plans— that's your drug. That’s great. Just hold them really loosely." [25:08]
- "Allow yourself to go a little crazy." – Dr. John Delony [26:05]
- Encouragement to reframe language: shifting “leaving them behind” in NICU to “leaving them in care” [28:09]
- “The real thing to grieve here is the picture of what you thought your life was going to look like.” – Dr. John Delony [24:43]
3. Grieving an Accidental Loss – "Daniel" (Vancouver, Canada)
Segment: [35:10–49:34]
Background
- Daniel accidentally ran over his family’s beloved rescue dog when returning home with his three children; feels deep guilt and responsibility.
- His major struggle is managing his own grief while trying to stay strong for his kids and explain the loss in an age-appropriate way.
Dr. John’s Guidance
- Distinguishing Responsibility and Blame:
"There is a difference between responsibility and blame... Are you to blame for this dog's death? Absolutely not." – Dr. John Delony [39:12] - Recognizes the cultural challenge in dealing with true accidents.
- Normalizes the looping, intrusive images and sounds from traumatic accidents, advising intentional action to shift focus during those moments (e.g., carrying a joyful photo of the pet).
Processing Grief, Personally and with Kids
- Encourages Daniel to grieve openly in front of his kids:
"The single greatest gift you could give to your kids right now is to be sad in front of them." – Dr. John Delony [44:05] - Supports family rituals for closure: funerals, sharing stories, writing memories.
- Warns against letting children hold control over a parent’s emotions but affirms the importance of transparency about sadness, within healthy boundaries.
Notable Quotes
- "Sad is a way that we say I love you when somebody's passed away." – Dr. John Delony [45:51]
- "You didn't kill the dog... you were behind the wheel when an accident happened." – Dr. John Delony [46:14]
- Touching story of burying his own dog with his young son, reinforcing the importance of memorializing pets as part of helping children later confront human loss [47:49].
- "The legacy of my dog still rattles through my family in a positive way." – Dr. John Delony [48:54]
Memorable Moments & Additional Quotes
On Self-worth and Boundaries:
- “You took on the role of wallpaper in a house that she built.” – Dr. John Delony to Chris [07:00]
On Parenting and Letting Go of Control:
- "Great moms are allowed to... be a little bit crazy." – Dr. John Delony [25:21]
- "The only thing that's going to hold you underwater... is trying to hold on to a plan." – Dr. John Delony [25:17]
On Responsible Grieving:
- “Letting your kids see the natural grief cycle and letting them work through it with you is a great gift a parent can give them.” – Dr. John Delony [49:34]
- "There's a difference between grief and terror." - Dr. John Delony [43:00]
Humor and Lightness:
- “You’re a gangster. Great wife, too.” – Dr. John Delony, bringing levity and reassurance [17:07]
- "We'll build a bigger table." – Sarah’s husband, symbolizing adaption to circumstances [25:55]
Important Timestamps
- Chris’s Story & Advice: [00:05–13:00]
- Sarah’s Story & Advice: [15:12–32:00]
- Daniel’s Story & Advice: [35:10–49:34]
- Positive Follow-up Letter: [51:39–52:53]
Final Thoughts
This episode is rich with empathy and practical advice about restoring trust after betrayal, riding life’s unexpected emotional waves, and modeling healthy grief to children. Dr. John’s approach balances kindness, humor, and directness, encouraging listeners to take concrete actions for personal and family stability, to acknowledge and process messy emotions, and to face adversity with honesty and community.
For more, visit Dr. John Delony’s site.