The Dr. John Delony Show

Episode: “Owning Your Problems Is the Key to Unlocking Your Future” (with Jade Warshaw)

Date: January 2, 2026
Host: Dr. John Delony, Ramsey Network
Guest: Jade Warshaw, author of What No One Tells You About Money

Episode Overview

This episode delves deep into the emotional and relational realities of financial stress, shame, and marriage resilience. Dr. John Delony invites his longtime friend and colleague Jade Warshaw to share her raw, unflinching story—spanning her high-performing, adaptive childhood, a marriage tested by nearly half a million dollars in debt, grief, shame, and the liberating power of “owning your problems.” Jade’s new book, What No One Tells You About Money, forms the backdrop for a vulnerable discussion on why facing reality is necessary for healing and moving forward—both with your finances and your relationships.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Childhood Lessons: Performance, Pressure & Competition

• Jade’s upbringing was marked by constant relocation, as her dad was a professional college football coach (07:00). She often found herself the only Black kid in her class and learned to make friends and stand out through excellence in sports and academics.
  • “Like, I can't just play basketball. I have to be the best one on the team. I can't just be the best one. I have to be the captain.” (08:02, Jade)
• There was pressure to be a “peacekeeper” at home, doing everything to perfection to maintain balance (08:45).

2. Truth-Telling vs. Peacekeeping: Becoming Unapologetically Honest

• Jade’s adult life swung from being a peacekeeper to a relentless truth-teller, influenced by therapy and her marriage.
  • “Now I am the most truth-teller that I can be, because I spent so much time covering things.” (09:33, Jade)
• Her therapist identified a core need to have reality acknowledged, stemming from childhood experiences of things being left unspoken (11:16).
  • “I’m like Judge Judy. I’m like, don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining.” (11:16, Jade)

3. Marriage, Transparency, and Financial Shock

• Jade met her husband Sam (“a walking Xanax”—calm, steady) in college and plunged into marriage soon after, both burdened by massive student loans (20:09–22:21).
• They did not grasp the full extent of each other’s debts until after marriage—an eye-opening and crushing realization:
  • “We went through dating, met families, got married...and didn’t know that part. It didn’t even occur to any of us to ask that question.” (25:15, Jon)
• The “reckoning conversation” around the true sum of their debts was devastating, and tallying the numbers felt hopeless.
  • “If I had written out all the debts that night, John, it would have been curtains...We just need to work and make a lot of money.” (29:41, Jade)

4. Enduring Crisis: Loss, Shame & Mental Health

• The couple’s journey to pay down debt coincided with the deaths of close family members, propelling them into a dark, survival-focused period (31:03).
• Shame and despair lingered, particularly around the feeling of being a burden—a topic rarely addressed in traditional financial advice:
  • “I just never saw that level of despair...in my mind, it was my job to make sure he keeps his life...for five years.” (37:07, Jade)
• Jade was terrified for Sam’s mental health, at times fearing for his life.
  • “Saying that stuff out loud—that’s what eats you alive. That’s what shame does.” (38:28, Jade)

5. The Reality Principle: No “Fairness,” Just Your Race

• The podcast explores the distinction between “what’s fair” and “what’s real,” especially in marriage and financial recovery.
  • “The cultural air we breathe is: whatever it is, it’s not fair...and so I’m going to war against the system...instead of looking in the mirror.” (41:37, Jon)
• Ownership, not fairness, is the path to healing and freedom.
• Endurance—doing "the next right thing" day after day, even if it feels impossible—is the key lesson Jade would pass to her children (50:08).

6. On Marriage, Hardship, and the Fullness of Life

• Despite the hardship, Jade is a strong advocate for marriage, seeing it as a crucible for deep personal growth and fulfillment (53:04).
  • “Nothing is more fulfilling long-term than going in and getting your hands dirty with people. Life is messy, but it’s the biggest blessing.” (54:56, Jade)
• She describes the hollow victory of celebrating achievements alone versus the fullness that comes from struggling and succeeding with others (56:07).

7. Adapting & Thriving Amidst Hardship

• The couple learned to normalize discomfort: living with roommates, selling cars, and adjusting to new standards of living—demonstrating human resilience and adaptability (45:38–46:58).
• They also acknowledged the “good stuff”—community, career luck, and global travel—even in the midst of struggle.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On reality and honesty:
  • “I’m like Judge Judy. I’m like, don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining. That is my number one thing. I cannot stand it. I can’t stand it.”
    — Jade Warshaw [11:16]
• On shame in financial despair:
  • “That was my biggest...that shame was the biggest fear I had in our marriage.”
    — Jade [35:37]
  • “Shame is such a secret. Like, it wants to be your biggest, deepest, darkest secret—that your very existence is messing up somebody else’s existence.”
    — Jade [38:37]
• On the “fairness” trap:
  • “If you’re thinking about fairness, you’re thinking about a competition...That ain’t life.”
    — Jade [51:11]
  • “That’s an opting out of reality.”
    — Jon [51:48]
• On the value of hardship:
  • “Nothing is wasted.”
    — Jade [57:09]
  • “I would argue that the person that doesn’t want to go through anything tough is the person who’s immature...struggles, tests, trials, that builds maturity.”
    — Jade [56:42]
• On doing life together:
  • “Why would you want to go through a life without that? It’s hard in the moment, but it makes you a person that can feel this.”
    — Jade [55:35]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Childhood and family dynamics: 04:22–09:28
• From peacekeeping to truth-telling: 09:33–15:34
• Beginning of Jade & Sam’s relationship: 20:09–22:21
• Financial reckoning and first debt talk: 24:58–29:41
• Surviving dark seasons: death, loss, and emotional distance: 31:03–34:43
• Shame, mental health, and honesty about fear: 35:06–39:03
• Cultural fixation on “fairness” vs. personal responsibility: 41:37–51:11
• Adapting to new normals, resilience: 44:09–46:58
• On enduring with and for others (marriage and meaning): 52:26–56:42
• Lessons for future generations—endurance, adaptability, and owning your race: 49:38–51:11

Tone & Language

Both Dr. Delony and Jade are candid, direct, sometimes gentle, sometimes fiery—never shying away from hard truths or vulnerable admissions. The conversation is supportive but challenging, inviting listeners to sit in discomfort and commit to “owning” their reality as the path forward—regardless of what’s fair or what they “deserve.”

Summary for First-Time Listeners

This episode is a rare, unvarnished look at the intersection of money, marriage, shame, and real hope. It will resonate with anyone who feels overwhelmed or ashamed of their circumstances, or who is struggling to carry their burdens alone. The heart of the message—facing reality with courage, taking ruthless ownership of your problems, and enduring together—offers both solidarity and an actionable roadmap for those desperate for change.

Recommended: Jade Warshaw’s book, What No One Tells You About Money (releases January 6th)