Dr. John DeLoney (53:56)
There you go. Oh, yeah, those two. Those will get you. Oh, man. I don't have a lot to add here, Sam. I'm just sitting here with you and maybe you tell your husband, hey, there's going to be times that I need you just to hug me. Because I miss my mom and I miss my dad. So on those days, I'm just going to say, I need to borrow your nervous system for a bit. I need to hold this hug a lot longer. And then, Sam, you're going to have to go do the work of having some adults in your life that are 10 or 15 or 20 years down the road from you, whether that's a couple you meet at the local YMCA or I don't know, at your local church. I don't know what stuff you do but. Or maybe it's your in laws. But you can't do all this alone. You need somebody there just with you celebrating how hard you're working, somebody reminding you to take care of you, somebody patting you on the back, Somebody saying, I see how hard you're working and I see how amazing this little boy is with all of his quirks and challenges. My goodness, I can see that smile of his from space or whatever it is. Sorry you're going through this, sister. Thank you for the call. Clear as kind here and first establishing what we want our home to feel like. Let's reverse engineer the boundaries after that. Thanks for the call. We'll be right back. This show is sponsored by Better Help. All right, as we head into the new year, I want you to take an inventory of of all the stuff you're carrying, all the things you think you have to do, all the past hurts and pains, along with all the past guilts and shames. All of it. When the world feels heavy, it's important to look in the mirror and consider setting down all of that old weight and even consider not carrying it into 2026. Therapy can help you identify the heavy stuff, help you set it down you and move forward with clarity so you can focus on the new year. And if you're thinking about therapy, I recommend BetterHelp. BetterHelp has over 30,000 therapists and they're one of the leading online therapy providers on the planet. And they're trusted by millions of people around the world. With an average rating of 4.9 stars out of 5. It's all online so it's easy to fit in your schedule. To get started, you just answer a few simple questions and they'll connect you with a licensed therapist that fits your needs. And if it's not the right fit, you can change therapist at any time for no extra cost. You can't feel lighter without leaving behind what's been weighing you down. Visit betterhelp.com DeLoney for 10% off your first month. That's better help. HP.com DeLoney all right, we're back. I got A money and marriage question. We are fresh off. We're recording this just a few days after the November money of marriage event. And my goodness, what an amazing time that was. Is by far. I don't know if it was. I'll say. I don't know. I do know it was the best one of all time. It was amazing. We got it pretty dialed in. And by the time you hear this episode, I think we're into the new year a couple of days and it's probably sold out. But if it's not, and you can still get your tickets to come to Nashville for the February, the Valentine's Day weekend event. My goodness, get them if you can. And if not, go ahead and get them for next October because 26. Because my goodness, what an amazing weekend it is. I leave refreshed in my own life. But, man, go check them out. Ramseysolutions.com events. Go check them out. But here's a question. Somebody left. What kind of goal should we be setting for our family at the beginning of this year? Y' all know me. I love New Year's. I love goals. I love New Year's resolutions. One of my favorite things in the whole wide world. But I think you can't have good goals without two important things. A. A period of reflection. How did I do last year as a husband, as a dad, as a wife, as a sister, as a mother, and how did we do if you're married? It says family here. So how did we do together last year? Showing up for each other, showing up for these kids financially? Right. So it's a season of reflection. How's our money? How's the stress in our home? How's the chaos? And the second thing that I think is important is asking this question. This is from the great James Clear. Who do we want to be this year? I remember when I first started here doing media stuff, we had these meetings with these brand experts, and I got so frustrated. I was like, dude, I don't want a brand. I don't like. I don't like thinking of that. That seems gross. And I remember the great Tim Newton, who leads our marketing efforts here at Ramsey. He said something that stuck with me. He said, hey, all a brand is is who you are when you're not in the room. How do people experience you when you're not around? And that really hit home with me. And so when I'm not in the room, I want people to smile, want them to drop. I want people to drop their shoulders. I want people to laugh. I Want people to roll their eyes a little bit because that guy's kind of crazy. I, I so I think that question for a family before you start setting goals, who do we want to be this year? We want to be a family that comes home and exhales and it's just like, ah, we're home. All right, well, then we're not going to sign up for 52 marathons, and we're not going to sign up for dance classes and yoga classes and the new workout program, because this year we want to be a family who, when people come over, they go, my gosh, I don't want to leave. Or maybe it's, we want to be a family that's got some more excitement this year, some more play. We want to be a family who doubles down and conquers some financial goals. We want to, we want to get out of debt this year. And so we're going to reverse engineer our goals based on our identity, our brand. Who are we going to be this year? And then all goals are, it's a series of checkpoints, measurable checkpoints that say we're on the path to being who we want to be this year. And so before you set off me like, I want to run a marathon this year, I want you to ask yourself, who do you want to be this year when it comes to being a good steward of your body fitness? And how does that relate to an overall picture of, we want to be a family of peace or a family that gets after it, or a family that does a hard thing together this year. So, number one, some reflection. Number two, that identity statement, who are we going to be and who do we want people to. How do we want people to feel about us when we're not in the room, when we're not there? And then your goals will just simply be a path towards making that identity real, come alive. And so I think that the reason people set goals and resolutions and don't hit them is because they're not anchored to an identity. They're just anchored to a I'm gonna get up every morning at 4am and go work out. And that's a recipe for quitting. But if your identity is in 2026, I'm going to be a guy that does hard things every single day. I'm going to be a guy that sets an example for discipline in my home. I'm going to be a wife who wades through conflict and finds one thing to celebrate about my husband every day, even when I have to look real, real hard through a pile of clothes and through dishes all like, whatever it is, right? I. It's got to be anchored to an identity. So start there, Start with reflection, start with identity, and then start backfilling the goals and make 2026 the best years year possible. I love you guys. I'm super, super grateful. See you soon.
