Podcast Title: The Dream
Host/Author: Little Everywhere
Episode: The MVP Of NLP
Release Date: July 4, 2025
Introduction
In this episode of "The Dream," hosted by Little Everywhere, the focus shifts to the intriguing world of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). The conversation primarily centers around understanding NLP's principles, its applications, and the controversies surrounding its scientific validity. The episode features an engaging dialogue between renowned motivational speaker Mel Robbins and Dr. John James Santangelo, a clinical hypnosis expert and advocate of NLP.
Understanding NLP
Mel Robbins initiates the discussion by questioning the fundamental aspects of mindset coaching, emphasizing the scientific basis behind mental programming. She remarks:
“When you program your mind correctly and if you're clear about what you want to create, your mind will help you get what you want.”
[00:01:39]
John James Santangelo elaborates on the essence of NLP, explaining its components:
“Neuro, the mind-body connection... Linguistic, the language we use internally and externally... Programming, the processes we undergo.”
[00:09:18]
He draws an analogy by likening the human brain to a computer's hard drive, suggesting that our primary caretakers download their beliefs and behaviors onto us, shaping our internal programming from an early age.
Historical Context of NLP
The conversation delves into the origins of NLP, highlighting its inception in the 1970s at the University of Santa Cruz by John Grinder and Richard Bandler. Mel Robbins provides context:
“They were also fans of hypnosis, just like John here.”
[00:07:15]
Santangelo recounts their experimentation with Fritz Perls, a prominent psychologist, leading to the formulation of NLP as a method to help individuals achieve their goals without dwelling on past issues. Their aim was to create actionable steps and "cheat codes" to happiness and success.
The Mechanics of NLP
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to demystifying how NLP operates. Santangelo introduces the concept of internal representation, which is the subjective interpretation of external events filtered through our beliefs, memories, and values.
He demonstrates this with interactive examples:
“The word is dog.”
Mel Robbins: “Gross.”
[00:18:10]
This exercise illustrates how language can influence emotional states and, consequently, behavior. By changing one's internal dialogue, NLP posits that individuals can alter their physiological and emotional responses.
Santangelo emphasizes the power of language:
“When we communicate to ourselves and other people... we use words that limit us. Transforming these words changes our biochemistry, emotions, and actions.”
[00:02:10]
He introduces the concept of negations (e.g., "but," "can't," "don't") and advocates for replacing them with more constructive language like "and" or "try." This subtle shift, he argues, can lead to significant changes in mindset and behavior.
Practical Applications and Examples
The discussion moves to the practical application of NLP techniques. Santangelo provides actionable steps for improving internal dialogue:
-
Replace Negations:
- Instead of saying, “I can’t do this,” use, “I can do this.”
- [00:24:09]
-
Shift “Problem” to “Challenge”:
- Reframing problems as challenges to foster a proactive mindset.
- [00:27:29]
-
Use “And” Instead of “But”:
- This maintains the positive aspects while introducing the next point without negation.
- [00:25:01]
Mel Robbins engages actively, responding to these techniques in real-time. For instance, when instructed to think of the word "dog," she initially reacts negatively but then demonstrates how changing her physical state (standing up, thinking of her daughter) alters her emotional response:
“Now you think about how gross dogs are.”
Santangelo: “That changes your internal state.”
[00:18:33] - [00:20:14]
This segment underscores the interplay between physical actions and emotional states, a core tenet of NLP.
Controversies and Scientific Validity
Mel Robbins raises critical points about the scientific community's stance on NLP:
“The scientific world says it's complete hooey... it's a pseudoscientific approach.”
[00:03:48]
She references a 2015 paper by Nelson Cowan, which critiques George Miller's seminal work on working memory and suggests that the entertaining presentation of NLP principles may have hindered serious scientific exploration.
Santangelo acknowledges these criticisms but focuses on the practical efficacy of NLP in coaching and therapy. He argues that despite the lack of widespread academic endorsement, NLP has profoundly impacted personal development and business communication.
Interactive Demonstrations
Towards the end of the episode, Santangelo showcases a simple magic trick to illustrate the principles of NLP and the power of belief in shaping reality:
“Watch this. Some people actually think this is real.”
[00:29:46]
He manipulates a pen, making it disappear and reappear, challenging Mel Robbins' perception and demonstrating how belief can alter one's experience of reality. This act serves as a metaphor for how NLP techniques aim to transform internal dialogues to change external behaviors and perceptions.
Conclusion
The episode wraps up with Mel Robbins reflecting on the intense and transformative nature of the discussion:
“I felt fired up and discombobulated... If he was my life coach, I would just be like, yeah, let's get to the bottom of this, dude.”
[00:30:43]
Despite initial skepticism, Robbins acknowledges the potential of NLP to foster positive change through mindful communication and self-programming. The dialogue between Robbins and Santangelo encapsulates the balance between NLP's practical applications and the ongoing debate about its scientific legitimacy.
Key Takeaways
- Language Shapes Reality: The words we use internally and externally significantly impact our emotional states and behaviors.
- Reframing Techniques: Switching negative words like "but" and "problem" to more positive alternatives can enhance mindset and outcomes.
- Mind-Body Connection: Physical actions can influence emotional and mental states, a foundational principle in NLP.
- Controversial Science: While NLP is widely used in coaching and therapy, its scientific validity remains contested within academic circles.
- Practical Efficacy: Regardless of scientific debates, many practitioners and clients report tangible benefits from applying NLP techniques.
Notable Quotes
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Mel Robbins:
“When you tell your mind what's important to you, there is extraordinary science that proves that your mind has a live and ever-changing filter.”
[00:01:39] -
John James Santangelo:
“Our words shape the way we think and how we feel. And how we feel determines what we do.”
[00:02:10] -
John James Santangelo:
“A negation is like don't, shouldn't, can't. Instead of using the word 'but'.”
[00:24:09] -
Mel Robbins:
“I call myself an idiot 30 times a day. I do.”
[00:29:26] -
John James Santangelo:
“One of the most powerful ways to change your world is to change your internal dialogue.”
[00:23:38]
Final Thoughts
"The MVP Of NLP" provides a comprehensive exploration of Neuro Linguistic Programming, blending theoretical insights with practical demonstrations. The episode effectively highlights the transformative potential of mindful communication and self-programming while acknowledging the controversies surrounding NLP's scientific acceptance. For listeners keen on personal development and understanding the nuances of mindset coaching, this episode offers valuable perspectives and actionable strategies.