The Drop the Needle Podcast – Ep. 37
Exploring Hospice Care & Spirituality with Martha Merry and Irene Doreste: Part 1
Host: Jim Alstott
Guests: Martha Merry & Irene Doreste
Date: May 23, 2025
Episode Overview
In this rich and heartfelt episode, host Jim Alstott facilitates a deeply personal exploration of hospice care and spirituality. Joined by returning guest Martha Merry, an RN and hospice expert, and Irene Doreste, an RN, Reiki master, and medium, the discussion delves into what hospice really means, how spirituality and science intersect in end-of-life experiences, and personal journeys from skepticism to a more open spiritual perspective. The trio share stories, challenge common misconceptions, and contemplate the healing, consciousness, and meaning found at life’s end.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Understanding Hospice Care (03:02–09:44)
- Patient-Centered Approach:
Martha explains hospice as a choice that "makes the amount of time that this person has left in life before they pass as comfortable and with them calling the shots and on their own terms" (03:38, Martha). - Not Just for the Dying:
Emphasizes hospice is “not curative” and “hard for families, too, because…What do you do when someone’s sick? …It’s a whole different ball game” (05:16, Martha). - Family Support:
“As a Hospice nurse, you're there to really coach the family more than anything … usually the patient, they kind of know what's going on…It's the family that needs the most help most of the time” (05:32, Martha). - Misconceptions:
Jim offers his personal family experiences, highlighting many misunderstandings—"Some people might think it's like Dr. Kevorkian…It's not that by any stretch. There's people that come in to play music or just sit and read…" (07:22, Jim).
2. Spirituality Meets Skepticism (09:44–15:27)
- Ethics in Care:
Martha: “Doesn’t matter what the person that you’re taking care of believes…you still have to provide compassionate care to that patient. That’s how I approached everything in hospice” (10:21, Martha). - Loss, Faith, and the Fear of Death:
Martha shares losing her father at 13 and being left with a “fear of death...Not of dying, but what happens after you’re gone” (12:08, Martha). - A Mediumship Experience:
Martha recounts her unexpectedly emotional session with a medium, describing a “chill” and hearing from her late father and brother, which challenged her science-based skepticism (12:39–14:00):- “‘What did Einstein say about energy? It can never be created or destroyed…’ That's really good. I never thought of that before.” (14:00, Martha)
- Comfort in Consciousness:
“My big fear is what happens when we're not here anymore…My friend…thinks of it as this consciousness…we came from it and we go back to it. That…made more sense to me.” (14:32, Martha) - Newfound Openness:
Describes patients “reaching for things I couldn’t see…calling out to somebody…I don’t see that’s not there…that veil is a lot thinner and that it’s there…That's a new perspective for me.” (15:10, Martha)
3. From Science to Spirit: Irene’s Perspective (17:03–21:40)
- Science and the ‘Leap’:
“My logical mind, you know, being science based…everything has to be proven…But when you step into the 5D and above…you really start using your right side of your brain. I shut off my logical mind and I open myself up to spirit because you can’t get there using that side.” (17:50, Irene) - Difference Between Spirituality and Religion:
“Spirituality is believing in the power within and that we are all energetic beings living a human experience.” (18:37, Irene) - Souls & Reincarnation:
“We are energetic beings, and we will continue to reincarnate lifetime after lifetime because we're humans having— we're souls having a human experience.” (19:28, Irene) - Purpose of Our Incarnations:
“We incarnate in this lifetime to come here and learn lessons, right? We're with our soul families and…some people are here to teach us, you know, how to love…and others…to trigger the shit out of us, right, and to really learn from those hard moments.” (19:58, Irene)
4. Spirituality vs. Religion & Triggers (22:29–24:49)
- Religion as Social, Spirituality as Inward:
“Religion is outward and social and community-based where spirituality is inward and it's in all of the things that are in the inside.” (22:38, Jim) - Skepticism of Organized Religion:
Jim expresses frustration with institutional religion as a tool for control: “You're taking everything else off the table… that's the type of thing that triggers me…” (23:40, Jim)
5. The Concept of ‘Escape Hatches’ & Near-Death Experiences (24:49–31:29)
- Three Opportunities to ‘Exit’:
Introduces the belief we have “three in people's lifetimes…where if you want to leave, you can leave at this date…” (25:12, Jim) - Common Elements of Near-Death Experiences:
Irene shares that “they could see themselves outside the experience…there’s some sort of tunnel…they've experienced this immense love…a guide or a family member or someone, you know, kind of guides them” (26:36–29:11, Irene).- Memorable Testimony:
“The one woman…I spoke about, she…didn’t want to go back because of the love that she was feeling when she was on the other side…But the love…she said…she felt when she was on the other side, she’s like, I don't want to leave this...” (27:54, Irene)
- Memorable Testimony:
6. End-of-Life Moments, Acceptance, and Continuing Bonds (29:09–31:29)
- Explaining End-of-Life Phenomena to Families:
“When you see those things happening, they're reaching for someone, they're looking…you can bring that into your hospice care and explain to the family...when they do transition, there's only peace and love. There's no pain.” (29:11–29:27, Irene) - Grieving & Moving On:
“We accept, we get to acceptance, but then...No one ever teaches us to now let go of the guilt, right? To just know that they're…looking, they're watching over us all the time.” (31:09, Irene)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
On Hospice Care:
"We're not going to do anything curative anymore... we're going to make the amount of time that this person has left in life before they pass as comfortable and with them calling the shots and on their own terms." — Martha (03:39) -
On Death & Spiritual Transformation:
"I just have felt nothing for so long...My big fear is what happens when we're not here anymore." — Martha (12:13) -
On Physics and Afterlife:
"What did Einstein say about energy? It can never be created or destroyed...if it's never destroyed, where does it go?" — Medium, as recounted by Martha (14:00) -
On Spiritual Awakening:
"You can’t get there using that [logical] side...Spirituality is believing in the power within and that we are all energetic beings living a human experience." — Irene (17:51; 18:37) -
On Purpose and Reincarnation:
"Some people are here to teach us... But there's other people that came into our lives to trigger the shit out of us, right? And to really learn from those hard moments..." — Irene (19:58) -
On Grief and Guilt:
"No one ever teaches us to now let go of the guilt, right? To just know that they're...watching over us all the time." — Irene (31:14)
Important Timestamps
- 03:02: Jim introduces topic of hospice care and asks Martha to define it
- 05:16: Martha explains challenges for families adjusting to hospice
- 09:44: Martha shares her experience with a psychic medium
- 14:00: Martha encounters comforting ideas around energy and consciousness
- 17:50: Irene describes transition from a science-based mindset to spirituality
- 18:37: Irene distinguishes spirituality from religion
- 19:58: Lessons, triggers, and reincarnation discussed
- 22:38: Jim compares spirituality and religion
- 25:12: Discussion of “escape hatches” and choices about leaving Earth
- 26:36–29:11: Irene recaps common themes in near-death experiences
- 29:11–29:27: Explaining end-of-life visions and comfort to families
- 31:09: Irene stresses letting go of guilt during grief
Tone and Style
- Conversational, respectful, and empathetic tone throughout
- Personal stories are candid, sometimes lightly humorous, always compassionate
- The scientific and spiritual blend is open-minded, real, and invites listeners to reflect and question their own beliefs.
Next Episode Tease
The episode closes with a promise of deeper exploration in part two, including more stories from end-of-life moments and further discussion on the energetic and spiritual aspects of death.
This episode is essential listening for anyone seeking to understand the intersection of hospice care and spirituality, offering practical knowledge, comfort, and profound food for thought.