The Duct Tape Marketing Podcast: How to Ask The Right Questions Using Thoughtful Curiosity
Host: John Jantsch
Guest: Dr. Amber Wright
Release Date: November 21, 2024
Episode: How to Ask The Right Questions Using Thoughtful Curiosity
Introduction
In this insightful episode of The Duct Tape Marketing Podcast, host John Jantsch welcomes Dr. Amber Wright, a renowned communication expert, coach, facilitator, and former communication professor. Dr. Wright specializes in helping organizations enhance how their members feel seen, heard, and valued. With her expertise, she guides leaders to express their authentic selves with authority and grace. Dr. Wright's popular TEDx talk, "Ask Better Questions to Build Better Connections," has inspired countless individuals to strengthen their communication skills in both personal and professional settings.
Notable Quote:
Dr. Amber Wright [00:00]: "Every relationship that we ever enter into, personal or professional, begins or ends with a question."
The Power of Questions in Building Connections
Dr. Wright emphasizes that questions are fundamental to all relationships. Whether initiating contact or concluding an interaction, questions pave the way for meaningful connections. She underscores the importance of moving beyond superficial inquiries to foster deeper understanding and engagement.
Notable Quote:
Dr. Amber Wright [01:15]: "Every relationship that we ever enter into, personal or professional, begins or ends with a question."
Crafting the Right Questions
John and Dr. Wright delve into the distinction between mundane questions and those that truly engage. While questions like "How are you?" often serve as conversational fillers, more thoughtful questions can lead to richer discussions.
Dr. Wright illustrates this with an example from her personal life:
Dr. Amber Wright [02:46]: "A better question is what was the best part of your day today."
This approach not only invites reflection but also encourages the other person to share more meaningful insights, thereby enhancing the quality of the conversation.
Feeling Seen and Valued
The concept of "feeling seen" is explored as a cornerstone of effective communication. Dr. Wright explains that making someone feel seen involves paying close attention to both verbal and non-verbal cues. This attentiveness fosters an environment where individuals feel acknowledged and appreciated.
Notable Quote:
Dr. Amber Wright [03:21]: "To see someone is to acknowledge them."
She provides practical examples, such as noticing a team member's subtle signs of distress during a meeting and addressing it empathetically. This practice not only strengthens team dynamics but also builds trust and respect within the organization.
The Role of Self-Awareness and Active Listening
Self-awareness is highlighted as a critical component of effective leadership and communication. Dr. Wright advocates for leaders to understand their own personalities, preferences, and communication styles. This self-knowledge enables them to interact more authentically and effectively with others.
Notable Quote:
Dr. Amber Wright [04:39]: "A good leader must first know themselves."
Active listening is equally emphasized. Dr. Wright points out that many individuals listen merely to respond rather than to understand. By practicing active listening—truly focusing on the speaker's message without formulating a reply—communicators can engage more deeply and respond more thoughtfully.
Notable Quote:
Dr. Amber Wright [05:55]: "We have two ears and one mouth for a reason, so we can listen twice as much as we speak."
Applying Thoughtful Questions in Business Contexts
The conversation shifts to practical applications of thoughtful questioning in various business scenarios, including interactions with customers, team members, and prospects. Dr. Wright emphasizes that asking the right questions can uncover clients' true needs and challenges, enabling more effective problem-solving and service delivery.
Example in Sales:
Dr. Amber Wright [07:23]: "You can't solve the client's problem if you're not listening to what they tell you when you ask them the question, 'What's the biggest challenge you're having right now?'"
By actively listening to the responses, businesses can tailor their offerings to better meet client needs, thereby enhancing customer satisfaction and loyalty.
Handling Conflicts with Thoughtful Curiosity
Addressing conflict is another critical area where thoughtful questioning can make a significant difference. Dr. Wright outlines strategies for managing disagreements, emphasizing the importance of understanding different perspectives and focusing on the core issue rather than personal attacks.
Key Strategies:
- Perspective-Taking: Encouraging individuals to view the situation from the other person's standpoint.
- Identifying the Core Issue: Moving beyond immediate frustrations to uncover the underlying problem.
- Using "I" Statements: Expressing feelings and reactions without blaming others.
Notable Quote:
Dr. Amber Wright [18:10]: "Use 'I' statements to say, 'I felt this way when you did X,' rather than attacking the person's character."
These techniques facilitate more constructive dialogues, reduce defensiveness, and promote resolution.
Enhancing Team Dynamics Through Personality Assessments
Dr. Wright advocates for the use of personality assessments, such as Myers-Briggs, to better understand team members' communication and conflict styles. By recognizing and valuing individual differences, teams can collaborate more effectively and minimize misunderstandings.
Notable Quote:
Dr. Amber Wright [16:30]: "Spending time talking about our individual communication and conflict styles can empower and equip teams to work more efficiently."
This approach fosters an inclusive environment where each team member's strengths are acknowledged and leveraged for collective success.
Intrapersonal Communication: Asking the Right Questions to Oneself
Transitioning from interpersonal to intrapersonal communication, Dr. Wright discusses the importance of self-inquiry for personal growth. She highlights practices like journaling, which can help individuals reflect on their thoughts and feelings, thereby enhancing self-awareness and decision-making.
Example:
Dr. Amber Wright [12:41]: "Ask yourself, 'What's the best part of your day today?' to invite reflection and self-awareness."
By consistently asking meaningful questions to oneself, individuals can challenge limiting beliefs and foster personal development.
Notable Quote:
Dr. Amber Wright [14:03]: "If I knew that it would work out and nobody would be mad at me, what would I want then?"
This question encourages honest self-evaluation and the pursuit of authentic desires without fear of judgment.
Practical Tips for Implementing Thoughtful Curiosity
Towards the end of the episode, Dr. Wright shares actionable advice for listeners looking to incorporate thoughtful questioning into their daily interactions:
- Be Intentional: Decide how you want to engage with others and let that guide your questions.
- Avoid Intrusiveness: Ask questions that invite sharing without making others uncomfortable.
- Listen Actively: Focus on understanding rather than preparing your response.
- Use Open-Ended Questions: Encourage detailed and meaningful answers.
- Reflect on Responses: Use the information gathered to build stronger connections and address needs effectively.
Notable Quote:
Dr. Amber Wright [10:43]: "Ask thoughtful questions and listen intently for the responses."
Favorite Questions and Closing Remarks
In a friendly exchange, John asks Dr. Wright about her favorite question to ask someone new. Dr. Wright reiterates her preference for asking, "What's been the best part of your day today?" John shares a personal anecdote about enjoying snowfall, demonstrating the potential for genuine and engaging conversations that such questions can foster.
Notable Quote:
Dr. Amber Wright [19:33]: "What's been the best part of your day today, because you're going to get a different answer every time."
The episode concludes with Dr. Wright providing resources for listeners to connect with her, emphasizing the value of continued learning and application of thoughtful curiosity in both personal and professional realms.
Conclusion
This episode of The Duct Tape Marketing Podcast offers a comprehensive exploration of the art of questioning. Dr. Amber Wright's insights into crafting the right questions, active listening, handling conflicts, and enhancing both interpersonal and intrapersonal communications provide valuable strategies for business owners, entrepreneurs, and professionals aiming to foster meaningful connections and drive business growth. By embracing thoughtful curiosity, listeners can transform their communication practices, leading to more effective leadership, stronger teams, and satisfied clients.
Connect with Dr. Amber Wright:
- Website: wordswellsaid.com
- LinkedIn: Search for Dr. Amber Wright (look for the pink sweater profile)
Tune in to future episodes of The Duct Tape Marketing Podcast for more expert insights and actionable marketing strategies to help grow your business.