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The Duct Tape Marketing Podcast
Unlocking Your Leadership Potential
00:20:14
From Hero to Human Leader with Empathy
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- [00:01]
A
Let me ask you a few things. Do you feel like you know what differentiates your business from every other business out there? Can you confidently charge a premium for what you offer? Are you working from a plan, a marketing roadmap that allows you to know precisely what to do next? Look, don't worry if you can't answer yes to any or all of these questions. You're not alone. See, marketers today get so focused on the tactic of the week staring them right in the face that they forget to look at the big picture. The overarching strategy needed to consistently grow their business. Over the years, I've worked with thousands of businesses helping them do just that. Create the perfect marketing strategy and plan that gives total clarity about what to do next, confidence to charge ahead and charge more, and complete control of the marketing tactics they choose. I would love to help you and your team do the same. Look to find out if our Strategy first program is right for you. Visit DTM World Grow and request a free consultation. That's DTM World Grow.
- [01:19]
B
Hello and welcome to another episode of the Duct Tape Marketing podcast. This is Jon Jansen. My guest today is Hortense Le Gentil. She's a world renowned executive leadership coach, speaker and author. She guides CEOs and senior executives on their journey from hero leaders to human leaders. Guided by 30 years in business, working across industries including media, consulting and advertising. And as an entrepreneur, she's the author of a book we're going to talk about today, the Unlocked leader. Dare to free your own voice, lead with empathy and shine your light in in the world. So Hortense, bienvenue, merci, vocou.
- [01:59]
C
Thank you for having me, John. You know, be here.
- [02:02]
B
That's all of the French that I'm going to attempt today, so. But I, I nailed that one, didn't I?
- [02:07]
C
Oh, you did great. You just love this one.
- [02:10]
B
All right, so in the book there is a concept called you call mind traps. That's a big part of the book. So let's start there and let's define what the, what a mind trap is and how it impacts us.
- [02:23]
C
So I like to say that, you know, the mind trap is, it's a mental obstacle that is on your way to move forward. This is something that holds you back. There can be something that you, you used to be. For example, like I used to be perfect or to try to reach perfection. It was a driver for me. But you know, now I feel like it doesn't work anymore. So it's, you know, when you feel like you Know something is holding. Hold you back. Holds you back. And you can, you know, even feel, you know, unhappy and satisf. You cannot be completely yourself. And journeys happen to everyone. I don't know if it happened to you, but, you know, it's every moment, a lot of moment in our life. It happened to us, and it happened to me. So. And I remember it was more than 15 years ago.
- [03:13]
B
So let's get into that. But I want to clarify, how is that different than, excuse me, than a limiting belief, you know, like I'm not good enough to lead or something? How is it different from that?
- [03:23]
C
So let's say that could be cousin. They can be cousin. Because mind trap is really, you know, where. It's. For me, it's where you are stuck. So limiting belief when you think I'm not enough, for example. Yes, that could be because you are. Because this is a consequence, let's say, because you are trapped somewhere. And then you begin to think, okay, why? Why? Why do I think like that? What is behind that? Behind the scene. So behind the scene, you will find the real reason. And this is what I call the mind trap.
- [03:57]
B
So let's use your example that you were starting to bring up there from 15 years ago to maybe even help clarify that further.
- [04:04]
C
Okay. Yes. No, I just wanted to explain that 15 years ago, I felt completely lost and. And stuck in my life, personal life and professional life. And then I was lost, John. I didn't know what to do. And then, of course, everything went south and I went, you know, stuck in bed for four months. So I had plenty of time to think, right? And then at the time. At that time, I had, you know, the dream. I had the dream and my grandmother, it was a grandmother that I just loved. And she came back in my dream and she told me something very simple. She told me, you have to find the path of roses. And no idea what was the path of roses. So I asked her in my dream, and I said, okay, what is that and where is it? Because more important, where is it? I want to find the rose, you know. And she said, you just look at me and smile. And she said, you know where it is. And then I woke up. Of course, I was furious. She didn't give me the answer, but I will understand later what she meant was very important. She meant that I had to listen to my ear, inner voice. And very often, this is why we are stuck somewhere, because we are not listening own voice. We are not confident enough because it can be risky, it can be difficult. You need to be courageous, to take sometimes, you know, difficult decision. And. And then this is what I learned. And when I became. I began, you know, to listen to my own voice, Yes, I could do that. Yes, I could change my life personally and professionally. Yes, I could do that. And that. This is what I did. And I began to free myself.
- [05:44]
B
All right, so what if you can't trust that inner voice? I mean, there's a lot of things that we call an inner voice that are telling us things that aren't together altogether positive. I mean, how do you tell the difference between. Yeah, that's the right guidance as opposed to. That's just continue to keep me locked.
- [06:00]
C
Huh. Interesting. Okay, listen, it's so what we know. I think it's more a feeling. So we. When we. When you want to take a decision, whatever the decision is, right. I think we know the decision. And when it's a hard decision to take, we need someone, you know, with who that, you know, shares this decision. And you're looking for someone who say, yes, do it. But sometimes you can wait a long time before anybody, you know, is like, agree with you. So I would say that this voice is the one that you feel. So, you know, you know, we all know, you know, exactly what we should do. And sometimes we are not ready. And. But one day when you are stuck, it's time to face that and to listen to that voice. So what do you really want to do? And not, you know, the voices behind that? Because, of course, when you. You are stuck somewhere, you need to track the source. So who said you. That, for example, who said that you cannot be a CEO, for example?
- [07:04]
B
Right.
- [07:04]
C
I had a client like that. And who said that, you know, it was a. A professor. It was a teacher years ago, you know, this professor was, you know, told that. That young person that you will never be a CEO because you can. I can see all the emotion on your face.
- [07:20]
B
Yeah.
- [07:21]
C
And so it was so surprised. So, you know, you. We are making association because we are living with the voices that, you know, the community, authority, whatever, the voices around us. And also our brain is cooking voices for us because we are looking for, you know, we are looking for meaning. Okay. You know why. Yes, I should do that. I know I don't. Yeah, you know, all the time. So silence you.
- [07:48]
B
I think I read it in your intro, but it certainly shows up in the book. This idea of taking people from the. The hero leader to the human leader. Explain that concept.
- [07:57]
C
So this is it. This is, you know, you know that. So we are. We need to free ourselves from those mind trap to become human leader. And why should we become. What should we become human? It's because the world has changed and the expectation has changed. Also people they want now people they want to connect with you. They don't need another hero like China said. No, we don't need another hero. We need someone with who we can relate, we can understand, we can connect. And the only way to do that is by being human, by, you know, using your secret weapon with that is the empathy. And you need that. And I think that every leader know that because a lot have been said about why we should lead with empathy, but less when it comes to the how do we do that? And you need courage, John, to do it. It's very courageous because you have to unlearn what you learned and. But it's another dimension, I would say. So now you have to inspire and take care of people. It's completely different.
- [09:09]
B
Yeah, and I think a lot of leaders fall into the trap of believing I have to have this strong front that, you know, I'm in charge of everything. I have all the answers. And that's probably an aspect that right or wrong holds a lot of people back, doesn't it?
- [09:23]
C
Exactly, exactly. Because we are raised like that. You know, your education at school, I'm sure everyone was telling you, oh, don't show your emotion right. And have all the answer. But who has all the answer, John? Tell me who, who could predict a cop, you know, a pandemic, who can predict, you know, every. Can we say that we are living in a crazy world today. Every day something happened. How can you alone have all the answer? That's absolutely not possible.
- [09:57]
B
So, so the core concept of the book, of course, is unlocking yourself as a leader. What does that process look like? Obviously it's very drawn out in the book, but give us the high level. What does the process of unlocking yourself as a leader look like?
- [10:11]
C
So it's going to this process of, okay, be aware that, that we are locked and okay, are we ready to go, you know, to start this journey? Because it's not a, it's a journey, it's not a destination. And how we do that. So we face our fears first because it's, we are afraid. Maybe we're, you know, we are used to do another way you need to change. And then we go to, okay, where am I trapped where I am, you know, stuck.
- [10:35]
B
Right.
- [10:36]
C
And you track the source like we said. And, and then when you track the source, you found the source, then you go to what I call the mind shift. So you change your mindset and with some questions, powerful questions, you ask yourself, okay, so you track the source. And you said, is it true? Is it relevant? Is it helpful, what I'm thinking right now? And then you let go, and then you're able, you free yourself and you are able to write your own story. But maybe let me share very quickly an example so I have, you know, this, you know, this, this client, he was. He was considered to be the next CEO of the company. And so he went through a process of, you know, in front of a panel of other leaders, you know, in order to be, you know, to be the next CEO. And then out of nowhere, out of the blue, his behavior changed and he became very talkative. He was talking all the time, didn't listen. It changed completely. So he was surprised. Everybody was surprised. And of course, he didn't get the job. Then we had this conversation, and he told me, I don't know. I don't know what happened, Hortense, I don't know. I said, okay, so let's figure out. And then revisiting his life, he remembered that years ago he had, you know, to pass an exam, in order to pass an exam, he has to be in front of a panel of teachers. And then one of the teacher didn't let him talk. So he was shocked. It was a trauma. One of the causes, one of the, you know, what is behind it became a trauma. And then it was the same story that I shared before. This, you know, teacher told him, I don't know what you're going to do, young guy, but you will never do, you will never be a CEO because I can see all your emotion on your face. Very smart. Began his life thinking that you don't have to show your emotion. And second, he was not aware. He forgot this conversation. But his unconscious didn't. And the way the day, the first, you know, opportunity that unconscious has to remember that he talk in order to, you know, to not have the same situation that he had, you know, before. And then. So going to this process of, you know, you track the source, where it's coming from. It was coming from there. In this case, there were trauma and voices. So they are the two main families of the source of, you know, of. Of your mind trap. So he found the source. And then I asked him the three questions. Is it true? Is it relevant? Is it helpful today that you cannot be a CEO and you don't have to show your emotion? He said, no. And no said, okay, so we let go, so we work on let go. And then you begin to write your own story. What is important for you, how you want to be remembered, how do you want to show up as a leader, what difference you want to make in the world or around you and all that. You know, what are your values and you begin to write your own story. Because you don't leave, you know, you live your own life. You don't live the life that you know someone wants for you, even if.
- [13:57]
B
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- [15:34]
C
Of course. But you know, what I recommend very often is it's difficult to change, you know, the how people think about you. So what I always recommend is to share with your team. So at one point you say, okay, my name is is Hortense and I want to work on being, being a better leader and connect better with yourself and have more empathy, whatever it is, or communicate better with you. And then it's, then, you know, your team or your environment is aware. Oh, oh great, she want to change, okay, and you ask for help and say, and I need help. And then everyone wants to help you, no worries about that. And then they say, okay, so let's do it together, then it's faster for two reasons. First, they are aware that you're doing something and they appreciate the fact that you, you want to be better. Then you give the tone so they can also be, okay, I can walk also to be better, it's all right to not be, you know, perfect. Then you set the tone and also they help you because you are in the middle of meeting and things like that. And after you maybe you ask for feedback and said, you know, what feedback do you have for me? Not maybe not every day, I mean, but when you feel it or when you decide and then it's all together that you're going to work on that. So on your side you do your homework of unlocking yourself and in fact of telling be sure of the message and vision that you have and really who you are. Connect with yourself because empathy begins. Start with yourself first you have to connect with yourself. Yeah, who am I? What do I want? You know, can you really say how you are to yourself? Can you say that who are you? And then when you are very clear on that, because that is a personal work. Yes, when you're very clear on that, you're ready to practice, you're ready to do it. And after, again, it's a journey, it's not a destination. So every day we learn something and every day we evolve and then it's, it's wonderful because it change everything.
- [17:42]
B
I imagine a level of self awareness or at least a desire to uncover some self awareness is really the starting point for all this. Right? I mean you can't really do that, you can't do the work you're talking about unless you discover some level of self awareness.
- [17:57]
C
Exactly.
- [17:58]
B
I mean, would you say that's accurate?
- [17:59]
C
You know, if you don't know where to start? Yes, that's absolutely accurate.
- [18:03]
B
So a lot of leadership, I have a lot of people have written books on leadership. I speak with, you know, people that have development programs and a lot of them really try to focus on competencies and skills. Do you get some pushback when I mean you're literally telling people that they have to develop their consciousness, you know, so do you get some pushback from people that feel like, how is that relevant?
- [18:25]
C
Not that much in fact, because you know, I think if we are honest with ourselves, all of us, we know where, what, where we have to evolve and we know that part is very hard and we don't know where to begin, when to start, as I said, so. No, I don't think so. And because most of the leaders that I know, you know, they know after you need courage to come and to ask for that. So if you're not ready, if you. But most of the leaders, they are courageous, so they can do it, but because you need courage.
- [18:58]
B
Right. So I'm going to invite people to, you know, or ask you to invite people where they can connect with you. But like, what's one thing if somebody came to you and said, give me one thing I could start doing today to really kind of unlock my leadership potential, what would that be?
- [19:13]
C
You know, the first thing everybody always.
- [19:15]
B
Wants the one tip.
- [19:16]
C
Right, I know. So the, the one tip would be, okay, reflect and do the three column exercise in your life. Personal, professional, whatever. Both of them is even better. And do first, colon, what do you want to keep what is good in your life? What gives you energy? Second column, what do you want to drop? What you drain you. You don't want that anymore. And third column, so what do you want to add to your life, to your life today and then begin, you know, your journey? You know, what is the first step? You know, go that and begin your journey to it, to the process of maybe unlocking yourself.
- [19:57]
B
Love it. Well, I appreciate you taking a few moments to stop by the Duct Tape marketing podcast where can. Is there anywhere you'd invite people to connect with you, learn about your work and obviously pick up a copy of the unlock. Like to leave her.
- [20:08]
C
So I have a website, so it's my name hortense legends.com and also we can on LinkedIn everywhere on LinkedIn, on social Instagram. So I try to be active and.
- [20:21]
B
Yeah, and the book is we'll have a. A link to your website in the show notes, but the book can be purchased pretty much anywhere people purchase books. So again, I appreciate you taking a moment or dense and hopefully we'll run into you one of these days out there on the road.
- [20:41]
A
Let me ask you a few things. You feel like you know, what differentiates your business from every other business out there? Can you confidently charge a premium for what you offer? Are you working from a plan, a marketing roadmap that allows you to know precisely what to do next? Look, don't worry if you can't answer yes to any or all of these questions. You're not alone. See, marketers today get so focused on the tactic of the week staring them right in the face that they forget to look at the big picture, the overarching strategy needed to consistently grow their business. Over the years, I've worked with thousands of businesses helping them do just that. Create the perfect marketing strategy and plan that gives total clarity about what to do next, confidence to charge ahead and charge more, and complete control of the marketing tactics they choose. I would love to help you and your team do the same. Look to find out if our Strategy first program is right for you, visit DTM World Grow and request a free consultation. That's DTM World Growing.