The Economics of Everyday Things – Episode 108: Matchmakers

Date: September 29, 2025
Host: Zachary Crockett
Guest: Maria Avkatidis, CEO of Agape Match and author of Ask a Matchmaker

Overview

This episode dives into the hidden economics, history, and evolving role of professional matchmakers in the modern dating world. Host Zachary Crockett profiles Maria Avkatidis, a fourth-generation Greek-American matchmaker, uncovering how the industry works, its clientele, and how human experts differ from dating apps. The conversation blends historical context, present-day challenges, business models, and the emotional complexities of finding love for others.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Background: The Matchmaker’s Roots

• Maria Avkatidis is a fourth-generation matchmaker, tracing the practice back through her Greek family.
• Traditionally, village matchmakers were embedded community figures, compensated with modest gifts, not money.
• Marriage historically “created a microeconomy,” functioning as more than romance—it was often a strategic alliance.
  • "When you're marrying two people, you're essentially creating a microeconomy. You have this place where now there's an alliance where we can trade goods and barter with each other and help each other out." (Maria, 04:14)

2. Modernization & Dating Apps

• Cultural shifts—women’s liberation, LGBTQ+ rights, technology—have redefined who chooses whom and how.
• Avkatidis differentiates between dating apps and traditional matchmaking:
  • “I don’t call them dating apps. These are meetup apps…The moment you start calling them that, the higher your success will be.” (Maria, 05:06)
• Those born before 1988 often had analog dating skills; younger generations, raised with digital defaults, struggle more with in-person connection.
  • "So much of what compatibility is and so many connections happen when you have familiarity spending time with someone in a physical space." (Maria, 06:21)

3. Professional Matchmaking Today

• Estimated as a $1.5 billion global industry (as of 2023), with about 2,000 practitioners in the U.S.
• Easy to enter, but professional organizations such as the Global Love Institute and Matchmakers Alliance offer training and support.
• Three main types of matchmaking services:
  1. Boutique Services:
     • CEO is also a matchmaker; hands-on, exclusive (e.g., Agape Match)
     • "In the US it's probably like 90% boutique matchmaking." (Maria, 08:28)
  2. National Chains:
     • CEOs manage teams; matchmakers have heavier caseloads
  3. Volume-Based Services:
     • Fast, less-personal, lower cost (e.g., Talkify charges $5,000 for three matches)
• High-end services charge tens to hundreds of thousands; Agape ranges from $20,000–$100,000.
  • “At my company it can range from $20,000 to $100,000.” (Maria, 10:16)

4. Who Hires a Matchmaker & Why?

• Typical clients aren’t dateless; they’re busy, risk-assessing, elite professionals (e.g., finance, law, entrepreneurs, major CEOs).
• "They don't have a problem getting dates, they have a problem with their time management." (Maria, 10:28)
• Sometimes, needs are complicated: negotiating prenups, high-expectation “wish lists,” and sometimes unrealistic preferences.

5. Managing Expectations & Redefining Success

• Part of the job is coaching clients to reassess what they really want versus what will make them happy.
  • "What a client wants is not always what will make them happy." (Zachary, 12:01)
• Matchmakers use tools—barometer reports, extensive interviews, behavioral audits—to clarify and reality-check expectations.

6. The Matchmaking Process

• It starts with a discovery call, detailed interviews, and a “dating audit.”
  • "We create in our office a barometer of attraction report, a BOA...the typical kind of person he's attracted to." (Maria, 16:09)
• Matchmakers build a large, dynamic database of singles—recruitment is ongoing, and matching considers quantitative (background, politics, religion) and qualitative (temperament, lifestyle) factors.
• For efficiency and higher success, Avkatidis coordinates the entire early dating process—scheduling the first date, follow-ups, and feedback.

7. Selectivity & Client Management

• Agape accepts only 40–50 clients per year from around 1,000 applicants; Maria likens it to “getting into Harvard.”
  • "We probably say no to about $5 million worth of business a year." (Maria, 21:42)
• Clients sign contracts with minimum match requirements (enforced by New York consumer law).
• Success is measured by sustained relationships, but Avkatidis focuses on “how many second dates our clients go on” rather than only marriages.
  • "If my client gets to a fifth date, that's usually who they're going to marry." (Maria, 20:36)

8. Business Realities and Burnout

• Each client represents financial and emotional risk; some are rejected on “emotional liability” grounds to prevent practitioner burnout.
• Many matchmakers last less than two years (“18 months”) due to job demands.
  • "It is extremely hard to service them or to not experience burnout with certain clients." (Maria, 24:09)

9. Memorable Success Story

• Avkatidis tells of a 65-year-old client wanting a much younger match; her data-driven approach found suitable candidates—and he became engaged within six weeks.
  • "He is now engaged to his third match, so we got him in a relationship within six weeks." (Maria, 25:12)

10. Reflections and Advice

• Despite the rarity and cost, Avkatidis believes most people don’t need a matchmaker—just better social circles.
  • "I don't think most people need a matchmaker. I think most people need a new circle of friends." (Maria, 27:19)
• Avkatidis herself is happily married—her own introduction came through her employee’s boyfriend.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On matchmaking's roots as village “microeconomy”:

  • “When you’re marrying two people, you’re essentially creating a microeconomy.” (Maria, 04:14)

• On the “meetup app” vs. dating app distinction:

  • “I don’t call them dating apps. These are meetup apps.” (Maria, 05:06)

• On the digital dating shift:

  • “If you were born after 1988... a whole new generation of people ...were never even given the tools to communicate outside of a zoom.” (Maria, 06:06)

• On client selectivity:

  • “You're like getting into Harvard or something.” (Zachary, 21:39)

• On second dates as success indicator:

  • “If my client gets to a fifth date, that's usually who they're going to marry.” (Maria, 20:36)

• On industry burnout:

  • “Most professional matchmakers shut down their businesses at 18 months.” (Maria, 24:09)

• On what most people actually need:

  • “I don't think most people need a matchmaker. I think most people need a new circle of friends.” (Maria, 27:19)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:18] — Introduction to Maria Avkatidis and her family matchmaking legacy
• [04:41] — The history and economics of traditional matchmaking
• [05:06] — Dating apps vs. matchmaking
• [06:21] — The social skill gap in younger generations
• [07:02] — Modern matchmaking industry overview
• [08:11] — Types of matchmaking services and pricing
• [10:23] — Who hires a matchmaker? Profiles of clients
• [12:01] — Managing unrealistic expectations
• [16:09] — Discovery process and match selection
• [19:23] — Qualifying and screening matches
• [20:38] — Coordinating and structuring first and subsequent dates
• [21:33] — Acceptance rate and client selection: “like getting into Harvard”
• [22:29] — Legal requirements for matches in NY State
• [23:10] — Tracking success rates and outcomes
• [24:09] — Emotional and financial risks; why burnout is endemic
• [25:12] — Unconventional success story: 65-year-old client finds love
• [27:19] — Avkatidis’ advice: most people need new friends, not a matchmaker

Summary Takeaways

• Matchmaking is both an ancient practice and a lucrative, high-touch modern industry.
• Digital tools increase options but rarely replace the nuanced work of human matchmakers, especially for busy, affluent, and high-expectation clients.
• Success requires not just finding dates, but resetting expectations and focusing on compatibility—often teaching the client as much as “matching” them.
• High selectivity, emotional demands, and legal frameworks shape the U.S. matchmaking business.
• Ultimately, as Avkatidis champions, deeper connections often start not through expensive specialists, but through community building and better social networks.

This summary was crafted to capture the heart of the episode for those interested in business models, social history, and the real economics driving the art of finding love—and its limits.