â THE ED MYLETT SHOW
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- [00:00]
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Ed Milan
This is the Ed Milan Show. Welcome back to the show, Everybody. So session one of the 21 irrefutable laws of Leadership has been an absolute success. We've had viral downloads all over the Internet and the show is now doing better than it's ever done in its history. And so what I wanted to do is add additional Q and A opportunities where you can ask me questions about the laws that we go through from time to time. And so I'm adding one of those Q and A sessions now. As a reminder, if you want to submit your questions, all you have to do is click the link either in the show notes or below here that get your free workbook that we've created. We've created a 21 page workbook that's completely free for you. And once you've done that, you can then submit your questions and maybe it'll show up here on the show. And so we're going to do, you know, what we do after each law is we have a rep that we do after each law. And so not only are you getting the workbook, but you're getting the rep that we have. You do kind of like a homework or a practice assignment with each of the 21 irrefutable laws from John Maxwell. And so what I'd love to do now is kind of get to the Q and A and answer a bunch of your questions. So let's get to that right now.
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Max
Perfect. Sounds good. So I'll read you a couple of questions that we had from fans and subscribers that downloaded the workbook and submitted it through the website. So first question we have is how do you build confidence as a leader when you don't always feel fully qualified yet?
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Ed Milan
Well, I don't think you're ever going to feel fully qualified. You know, I, people ask me often, you know, when I work with one on one coaching with, you know, executives or even some of the top athletes, even world championship fighters and athletes, golfers that have won majors, they don't have total confidence all the time or feel qualified. And so it's your Ability actually to deal with that lack of a little bit of the imposter syndrome. That's actually one of the keys to your success. But what I found with confidence is it's a foundationally, it's keeping the promises you make to yourself. So when you make a promise to yourself, even if it's small, and I'm not exaggerating this, when I say making your bed in the morning, how much water you're going to drink a day, you say you're going to get a gallon of water or getting to the gym, or amount of contacts you're going to make in business. When you start keeping the promises you make to yourself, you begin to build a reputation and a relationship with yourself that you can trust you. When I meet people that don't have self confidence, what I know is this is somebody who consistently has not kept the promises they've made to themselves. They've started a diet or a nutritional program and they've quit it. You know, they tried a business and it didn't work and they got out. Then they did that again. Or they've been in a bunch of different situations where they've set goals and not achieved them. And so self confidence is oftentimes like self trust. And so foundationally, it's beginning to keep the promises you make to yourself, not to other people, but the ones you intimately make to yourself. And then the other thing I teach in my book, the Power of One More, is I teach like a holy trilogy, I call it of self confidence. And I say that that is faith, associations and intentions. So let me break those down for you very quickly. The first is faith. If you believe you come from a loving God who made you in his image and likeness, if you have that faith, how can you lack confidence? If he lives within you, if he's got your back, if he's your father, if he's going to give you grace, you ought to have tremendous confidence. It's interesting. So many times I meet people that they have a lot of faith on Sunday at church or if they go to a Wednesday Bible study. But somehow when they walk around in their real life, they feel alone and abandoned. That's the antithesis of faith. And so connect to your faith. That ought to give you boldness and strength and confidence that you have that supernatural comfort and knowledge that comes with having that faith. And so faith is the first one. Second, you can mix them up. Is associations in order? I mean, associations means you are who you hang around you. If you hang around five or six people who are incredibly fit and eat healthy, you will begin to eat healthier and be more fit. If you hang around five or six people who are incredibly wealthy all day long and are building businesses and have ideas to be successful and save and accumulate money, that will happen for you because you have that thermostat setting I've talked about before, where your identity is your thermostat setting on your life. And a lot of times if your thermostat setting is like at 72 degrees and you start getting 80, 85 degrees of results, you'll turn the air conditioner on of your life and cool it back down to get what you believe you're worth. And so the easiest way to changing that setting, what you believe you're worth, is get around other people who could heat you up that live in a particular area at a higher setting than you do. So I've done that in many areas of my life. I've got a business group that's my associations that heat me up there. I've got another one in my faith life. I've got some that are in my physical body or my energy or my wellness. And so associations can change your self confidence. And then third is intentions. When I was very young, I was. I met Wayne Dyer. I'll fast forward the story. And when we were done, Wayne said, ed, you're going to change the world. And at the time, as a young man, I figured he probably never said that to anybody. Now looking back, in hindsight, he probably said that to a lot of people, but he stayed my friend the rest of his life. But that day he said, ed, you're going to change the world. And I said, I am. Why? And he goes, well, it's not because of your unbelievable ability to communicate or your IQ or your way you think, although I love the way you think. And I don't know if I've met a communicator as good as you, but that's not why, Ed, he goes, would you just do me a favor? I said, yes. He said, all your life, attach your confidence not to your abilities or your results, because you'll be chasing that tail all your life. They'll be up and down, which means your confidence will be up and down. Attach your confidence to your intentions. You're a good man, Ed. You intend to do good before every meeting you have, every big event in your life, even the small ones. Ed, get connected to your intentions again and you'll have tremendous confidence because you know you're a good man. No one had ever given Me, a compliment. Up until that time in my life, Max, where I believed him. So, first compliment I ever got where I believed him, where he said, you're a good man. I do kind of feel like I'm a good person. And so my confidence has been beaming most of my life because I keep the promises I make to myself. I have faith, I have great associations, and I connect to my intentions, not my results or my abilities. Long answer, but hopefully a thorough one.
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Max
It definitely was a thorough answer. And it was. I was absolutely great there. One of the next questions we have coming up here, too, is what is the most effective way to increase your identity as a leader? If you're just pick one specific tactic
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Ed Milan
that they could take away. Clarity. Complexity is the enemy of execution. And I've said this before, I'm blown away by how many people even pay me six and seven figures to coach them that after they've paid that money, when we get on the first call and I say, what's your outcome? What do you want to get done here? And they're vague. Well, I'd like to be happier. I'd like to be richer. Well, specifically what. Where performance is measured, performance improves. If you don't know specifically what it is you want, your mind can't go to work on producing it. And it's a vague thing. So many people are vague. They're wandering generalities in their life. You have to get incredibly specific about what it is you want, what it is you want in your culture and your company, the goals you have, the ambitions, like not get in better shape. Exactly. What body weight, what body fat, what heart rate, what hrv, what you know, whatever it is. Exact, specific things. I want to be rich. What does that mean? What's the dollar amount? How much has to be saved, how many assets? The more specific you get. That actually gives you speed. It gives you the speed to execute quickly. Clarity does that. Great coaches, great leaders, they're just better at specificity and clarity. And most of the average people have average clarity. In fact, sometimes the longer somebody does this, they complicate things and they make it complex. And like I said, that is the enemy to executing at a high level. So clarity creates high identity.
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Max
I think that was a great answer there. I definitely seen that, too, from being around you and some of the events that we've ran as well. One of the other questions we have too, is, have you ever been in a situation where you inherited a broken culture? And what would be your first step to fix that?
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Ed Milan
Listen, don't talk first thing I would do if I inherited a broken culture is I'd walk in and acknowledge that it's broken. And. And then what I would do, you know, there's two types of leaders in the world. There's a type of leader that walks in and says, here I am. And there's another one that walks in and says, there you are. The here I am leader comes in and kind of beats their chest and says, I'm calling the shots. We're going to do this. I'm going to fix everything. I'm going to change it. I'm going to change. There's already a broken culture. You get people to resent you, almost fight against you and resist you. And so what you want to be is, there you are. And what that means, that's a metaphor. But what it means in terms of leadership is it means listen, then call the shot. If you're the leader, you call the shot, you're in charge. But not before you've got buy in, not before you've got feedback, not before you've listened. When people believe they're a part of the turnaround, they will turn it around. But if they believe they're being subjected to a turnaround, they may take that personally. You think our culture is broken? Well, I'm the one that's been here for six years. You're the new one. And so then they resist you. So I'd walk in and say, listen, clearly things have been broken around here. There's obviously a higher standard and a higher level. I'm interested in what you think about what's worked and what isn't working. And then let people express themselves. And then once you've done that, then paint the vision of where you want to go, paint that vision and call the shot. Remember this, great leaders sell a big enough vision that the dreams and goals of everybody within their stewardship can fit inside the dream they're selling. So most times, most leaders don't sell it big enough. So if I'm on your team, I gotta believe that my dreams and goals can come true. If the overall companies or teams, big dreams and goals happen. Most leaders don't include people. And so here's where we're going as a company, here's our sales goals this month. Who cares? I don't care if I'm just. But if somehow in the way you do it, you sell it so big and so bold and so clear that I go, wow, I could see the things I want in my life happening. If that thing he's Selling happens, or she's selling happens. So sell a big enough dream that the dreams and goals of everybody you're leading can sit inside the one you're selling. And now you're on to changing that culture.
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Max
Would you say that that would fit with going to the series with the law of navigation?
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Ed Milan
Oh, yeah. The law of navigation is if you're a leader by position, you're in front, right? So you ought to be able to see things that other people can't see. We discount this all the time. One of your jobs as a leader is to say, hey, here's where we're going. Here's what it's going to take to get there. It's not going to be easy, but here's what it's going to be like when we get there. It's going to be amazing, it's going to be awesome. And then there's going to be all these other things. And by the way, when you have a big vis, you have to repeat it over and over and over again in order to navigate that direction. Your job as a leader is to navigate because you can see and not enough leaders are conscious of, here's where we're going, here's what it's going to look like when we get there. Here's how tough it's going to be. Here's how worth it it's going to be. Can you imagine when we get there? It's going to be awesome. Most leaders never do that, or if they do, they do it once. Great leaders repeat it. Because what you talk about repeatedly is what ends up happening. It actually creates the culture and the standard. Most leaders don't ever sell a big vision, don't include other people in it, or if they do, it's too sporadic and they'd suffer from something called leadership fatigue. Here's what happens as a leader. You get tired of hearing from yourself and you start thinking, I gotta come up with something new. I gotta make it spicy all the time. Business in life, even with our children, is more about like, especially on the business side. I would say this. It's caught, not taught. But you can't get tired of saying the same things over and over again. Business is more about saying old things to new people than it is about saying new things to the same old people. The more you add new people that get on the bus, so to speak, like what Jim Collins talks about, the more you begin to do that and the more you begin to stretch their vision and repeat it, then they know you're serious and Then if you talk about it and you back it up with your example, they see you in there earlier, they see you there later, they see you working on yourself, they see a change in you, you validate the words with your actions. Now you got something. Too many leaders just talk and talk and talk and they show up at 10 o' clock or they leave early or they're on vacation all the time. But when I start to see this leader, sell this big vision, include me in it repeated over and over again. Then back it up with your example, man. Now you're delivering on the law of navigation. Guys, I got to tell you about chime and let me tell you why. Chime is changing the way people bank. They offer the most rewarding fee free banking. They're not like traditional banks that charge you overdraft and monthly fees. They have feedback, thousands of free ATMs. So why do we pay to get our own money? It's insane. So they don't do that. It was built for you. Chime members can benefit from up to 11 $50 in annual rewards fee. Free direct deposit unlocks the most rewarding way to bank a chime. Chime is rated five stars by USA Today for customer service. Real humans you deal with, by the way, 24 7. So you're not just switching banks, you're upgrading to America's number one choice for banking with a chime checking account. So I got to tell you, when I was younger, I would have loved to have had something like this and I love it now. I would use this and I think you should too. Chime is not smarter banking. It's the most rewarding way to bank. Join the millions who are already banking fee free today. Head to chime.com mylet that is chime.com mylet it only takes a few minutes to sign up. So what happens when your dunking stops being a one night contest and becomes a professional sport? This is Dunkman. Presented by Shaquille O'. Neal. Dunkman brings together 24 of the world's most explosive dunkers for a season of high flying competition, unbelievable athleticism and some serious pressure. Across four group staged events, these elite athletes will battle head to head, throwing down their biggest, boldest, most creative dunks for a chance to advance. This is so cool. But only the best will earn a spot in the Dunkman World Championship where a massive $500,000 grand prize is on the line. Every jump matters. Every dunk could change everything. And when the lights come on, there's nowhere to hide. Dunk man is a partnership with Eli Lilly. Premieres live July 21st and every Tuesday at 8pm on TNT and streams on HBO. Max, get ready to witness Duncan like you've never seen before. Dunk man on tnt, presented and commissioned by Shaquille o'. Neal.
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Max
Wow, that was very good insight. Next question. We have Tiff.
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Ed Milan
You're welcome.
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Max
In a world with AI, because that's what a lot of people are talking about right now. People can generate more strategies. They can analyze data, automate communication, or even simulate leadership behaviors. Out of the 21 laws of leadership, which one do you think would be most important for leaders to master moving forward around this topic?
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Ed Milan
They're all so good, but what comes to mind when you first say that to me is the law of influence. You know, you can't allow the robots and the machines and automation and ease to begin to dominate your culture. And so I would say the law of influence, which obviously we covered here. And you know, in my mind, it's your ability to remain influential. You know, people matter, things don't. And as AI begins to march forward, it's going to be leaders that lead. Andy Frisell and I talked about it on the podcast Ethical Leadership, utilizing AI as a tool to enhance human performance, not to eliminate humans. Now, there are going to be things that AI is going to be are going to eliminate some jobs, there's no question about that. And a lot of business leaders are going to try to because they don't value people. John talks about valuing people so often as well, because they don't value people. They're going to do everything they can to just cut costs and cut costs and cut costs by using AI, in my opinion. And so that's going to give a huge opportunity in lane to those leaders who truly value people. And so it's all perspective. Are you going to use AI to illuminate jobs, cut costs, reduce it down to bare bones, or are you going to utilize AI to enhance human performance and teach your people to use AI to increase their influence per the law of influence? And so I'm committed that AI is going to be an enhancement to these wonderful people that I lead. And at any chance I get, I want to do it to create influence and impact for them and not not be something that eliminates them. And I actually think that's good news for leaders to take the approach I just said, because I do think there's going to become a convergence over the next three, four, five years, particularly in business, between companies and leaders where People know, man, they value people first and the leaders who value robots first. That may sound, oh my gosh, are we really in that time? I think we're entering that time really soon. And I think the companies who begin to build a reputation in a culture and environment where they value people, I think not only are they going to draw the best of the best to work for them, but I think people are going to want to patronize those businesses. I think people are going to want to do business with companies that value people and that they know continue to increase the role of the influence of people in their business as opposed to those that are just streaming it down to profit. Profit's important in business, it always will be, especially if you have investors. But I think hacking short term jobs to increase short term profitability long term, I think the companies who value people and utilize human means, because you'll never replace the heart of a champion. You're never going to. You can replace part of their thinking of their mind. You can, you can't replace heart, you can't replace emotion, you can't rep. You cannot replicate emotional connection and an experience that a company or a business can provide to the people that work there and their customers. So law of influence.
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Max
Yeah, I definitely would agree, especially from what we've been seeing on the podcast lately. I think that relates very well. The next question we got would be how would, how do you balance delivering results while still investing in the people?
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Ed Milan
Yeah, I think sometimes in business we start to get presented with false choices. Right. So I actually think I'm not in business for a year or six months. I'm in business long term to build something great to achieve a big vision and mission. And so the other reason this big vision, everybody matters so much is if you're not caught up in the big vision and you lose your sight of that, you will do things short term that may increase profitability short term and sabotage any chance of getting to the long term vision. There's all kinds of decisions you have to make early on in a business as it's growing or even when it's mid size that you probably could turn a higher profit at that time. Like even taking more money out of the business yourself. You know, I didn't take money out of a lot of my businesses for seven and eight years. I was at some points the lowest paid person in my business. People that worked for me made more money. Why? Because pouring capital back into that business is going to get the long term vision. So it's just a decision as A leader in perspective. Is your perspective that you want to do something great long term. Are you in it to dump the business and sell it and get rich quick? We're in this culture in business right now where everything's about an exit. That's all you ever see on Instagram, right? Or getting investors, you know, the Shark Tank stuff, which is fine. You know, Rob Herjaveck and I talked about this on the show as well. But what that's also done is it's caused business people to prematurely do things, sabotage the long term vision and most importantly, long term impact. Right. And so this is true with our children and raising them. It's true in our marriage. It's super true in business. And so I think it's a false choice. I'm always going to invest in people and develop people, mainly because my overall mission in business, in life, is to use the business to serve people, not to use people to serve the business. And so you got to have a, an outcome and a vision for your life and your business that's beyond profitability, but includes profitability. So I want to, I want to develop people to build the business, not use them.
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Max
That's great. I, I don't think you've ever said anything this in depth on the podcast in a very long time. This is the best stuff people are getting. This is great.
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Ed Milan
Thank you.
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Max
Last question we have here. And again, all these people submitted it for downloading the workbook, which will be in the link in the description. But if you could go back to yourself, I'm 24, this person's 27 years old. If you could go back to that time period, what would you be focusing on or what would you change?
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Ed Milan
Okay, well, what I would focus on, I did actually do. So that's the good thing. And then the list of change. This would be a 900 hour podcast of what I would change. But what I did do well is the first investment I made all of the time, other than tithing, was in myself. I continued to grow myself. I continued to invest and read and get to events and listen to. They did a podcast that I listened to cassette tapes. And I'm really grateful that I continued to invest in myself. I really believe that my results will never receive my identity, they'll never exceed it. So I've got to be able to invest in myself. I'm really, really glad that I did that. I'm really glad I learned to communicate and sell. I think that one of the most underdeveloped skill sets in this day and Age is the ability to sell. You may think, well, I'm not in sales. Everything is sales. Heck, getting your kids to brush their teeth and go to bed is sales. Right all the way up to closing a big deal or closing an account. And by the way, never thinking you have it figured out, remaining curious. Always be a learner. You know, Tom Bilyeu and I from Quest Nutrition, we're talking and we both kind of identify learners. And what that does is it keeps you humble as a leader, but it keeps you growing as a leader. John Maxwell has been really impactful on that. John always tells me, which is really funny to me. He always goes, ed, every time I'm with you, I learn something. And I'm like, no, you don't. I learned something from you. But I actually over the years have begun to believe him because he's seeking to learn still, even in his late 70s. And so I would say always be growing, always be learning, always, always be curious, always invest and pour in yourself because it starts with you. What I regret is I wish I would have relied on God's grace more when I was younger. I wish I would have given myself a little bit more peace. But I wasn't as connected in faith at that time. The other thing I wish that I would make biggest mistake is I let my temper get the better of me when I was younger. I. I think I led too much by intimidation and force than vision, grace and belief. And at some point that shifted where I realized if I could pour belief into people, get them to believe in themselves and get them to believe I believed in them, that they're going to want to live up to that investment of belief. And that was just an invisible thing to me. And so I allowed my temper, I allowed emotions to rule me. I made decisions during emotional states, always. I've told you, Max, never making a decision in high emotion. It's always when you make the bad ones, when it's too euphoric or you're too down. So I don't make massive life decisions when I'm in an emotional state. I wait until I'm in a neutral state because when emotions are high, intellect is usually low. And so I wait till my emotions subside. You know, now when I do get angry or frustrated, I pause and say, I'm away today to send this email. I'm a wait a day to send this text. And I find that by the time that that time passes, when my emotions change 99% of the time, the tone and message I'm to deliver is different. Most people decide to quit when things are going really bad. That's not. When you audit your life, you audit actually when they're going, well, is this still juicing me? Is it still fulfillment? Does it still make me happy? And so allowing your emotions to rule you. I'm a very emotional person. I transfer emotion to people well. But I wish that emotion would have been checked with a little bit more poise, a little bit more grace, a little bit more faith. Frankly, just maturity. And I don't think you have to wait 10 years to make the mistakes I made. I think you can learn from mine as you're listening today. And the great leaders that I've been around value people and have what I would call emotional regulation and self awareness. And when I was younger, as a leader, I didn't have emotional regulation, nor did I have any self awareness. I didn't really. I wasn't even. I didn't even know who I was. Heck, I didn't even know who other people thought I was. I was just always trying to make an impression. Once you know who you are and you're comfortable with who you are, you don't have the need to impress all the time. And when you lose that need to impress or prove how influential you are, that's actually when you become the most powerful. So those would be some of the changes I would make. But we could be here for a month. With all the mistakes I made.
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Max
That's absolutely great advice. I'm so glad people are getting access to this.
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Ed Milan
Me too. This is cool. Great questions, by the way. Keep submitting them, everybody. Because one thing I know about our audience, the millions of people that are out there, I really believe that there's a culture in our audience, even of people who care about their life and care about making a difference. And their life matters to them maybe more than the average person. And so as a consequence of everybody wanting to make such a big impact and change their life, we're getting great questions. And all I would say to everybody is, you know, make sure this Thursday episodes are great. But our Tuesdays are unbelievable and so are our Saturdays. Stay connected to the show. Make sure you get the workbook. Make sure you're doing the rep every single week. But more important than Even this, these 21 weeks, I'll be here if you'll show up. And so I would just ask you to start to make a great commitment to our show. I'm always going to offer you everything I do for free. With very rare exception, there's no upsells. There's no funnels, there's no agenda. I've been blessed in my life, you know, even where I'm doing this podcast from right now, with tremendous blessings. I did not get here alone. I got here with the grace of God and a lot of people around me who poured into me and helped me. And this podcast, the last decade has just been my version of paying that forward. And people ask me when I run into them in public all the time, how can I pay you back? And you can pay us back by sharing the show, getting other people to be involved and listen. And you can pay us back by taking what you learn here and applying it for good in the world. And so stay tuned. We got more great episodes coming, everybody. God bless you. Max Out. This is the Eden Milan show.
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Ed Milan
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