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Thursday Night Football is on and it's only on Prime Video. Tonight, an AFC rivalry ignites as the Miami Dolphins battle the Buffalo Bills in a heated division showdown. Coverage begins at 7pm Eastern with football's best party, TNF. Tonight presented by Verizon. Not a Prime member, Not a problem. Simply sign up for a 30 day free trial. It's the Dolphins and the bills tonight at 7pm Eastern, only on Prime Video. Restrictions apply. See Amazon.com Amazon prime for details. This is the Ed Milet Show. Welcome back to Max out, everybody. Ed mylett, Today we're going to talk specifically about distractions and paying the price to win both sides of the coin. You know, one of the things that human beings underestimate dramatically is their capacity to get great at something if they're totally immersed in it, totally laser focused on something. But as I've coached the very high end athletes in my life, the top business people and entertainers, I can tell you that most people underestimate what total obsessive laser focused really is and what it looks like. Because you are way more powerful than you know you are if you went crazy, psycho obsessed laser focused on anything, even something you're totally ill prepared for. Humans have an unreal capacity to get great at things, even if they don't have a natural talent for it, if they're immersed in it, and to learn something and acquire a ton of knowledge in a short period of time as well. I'll give you an example of that. Unfortunately, right now, many of you know that my dad has cancer. He has a type of cancer called liposarcoma. Three years ago, I had no idea what that word even meant. I had never heard that word uttered in my life. Liposarcoma. And maybe you've had this experience before too. If a family member has come up with diabetes or a heart issue or any type of health issue, even for yourself, you're not a doctor, probably most of you listening to this, but you've become pretty knowledgeable, haven't you, about some area of your life, Whether that's something you've studied in school or a career you've chosen, you think you'd choose. Or like in my case, there was an illness for my dad, I consider myself pretty damn close to an expert on that topic now. I've read so many books. I've studied, I've googled, I've read research, I've read about the different chemos, alternative treatments. I've read about eating green. I mean, you name it, right? Like I've gone Crazy on that topic. And again, I'm not an oncologist, I. But I went from knowing absolutely nothing to three years later. Having an immense amount of knowledge is probably one of the 10 things I know most about in my life right now. And so that's because I got obsessed with it. Can you do that? With where your goals and dreams are? Like, really, can you do it? Because the truth of the matter is, in society today, society is conspiring all the time in our culture to completely distract you so you never win, to just divert your focus and attention. Look over here. Look at this shiny thing. Look at this TV show. Look at this sports team. Watch, worry about what's going on here in this war. And they get these different things on television and our phones and in our lives that just get us distracted. So we never get obsessed, we never get laser focused for an extended period of time. Ask yourself truthfully, your big goals and dreams, are you really clear on what they are? Because if you don't have that, we can't even get started. But assuming you've listened to all of my previous content before, you know how mandatory it is to be clear and specific for what you want, right? But then the next layer is this. Can you get laser obsessively focused almost to its exclusivity? Almost. But for an extended period of time, can you honestly say you've done that for an extended period? I'm talking about a year, two years, three years, four years, five years, even a decade towards something you want so badly you want it like oxygen. It's like you want it like you want to eat. You want it like you want to live, right? Well, are you extendedly laser focused on it or do you get distracted easily? And then we're going to talk secondly on the back part of the audio and video today about paying the price and the sacrifice for a second. But let's talk first of all about getting laser focused. And I mean this as your friend. I mean this talking to myself too. I always cover things that make me better, things that I struggle with. But I got to tell you, I think there's a different level for you. I mean, I think there's a different level for you to get obsessed. Crazy laser focus. I say all the time, oh, obsessions become our possessions, but we won't possess them if we're not truly obsessed. I bet there's been a person in your life you've been obsessed with. If you're over 20 years old, listen to this. More than likely you've had Somebody you were pretty obsessed with, haven't you, that you wanted in your life, you wanted to date, you wanted as a girlfriend or a boyfriend or a significant other. How many times a day did you think about them? How many times a day did they distract you from what you were doing with just the thought of them? In other words, this is what I want you to understand. When you're laser obsessed focused, your obsession distracts you from what you're currently doing, not the other way around. You're not really obsessed with it if you're easily distracted from it. This is so important. You right now can test whether it's your obsession with, whether it distracts you constantly. The first thing you think of when you wake up, last thing before you go to bed, when you have a big laugh, it comes up when you cry, it comes up when you're watching tv. It comes up when you're doing your regular job. But it's your side hustle that comes up. You can't stop thinking about it. It distracts you from the rest of your life. That's what an obsession does when it's not really your obsession. The rest of your life distracts you from it. And so the it in your life is so important. But there's all these things that distract us. Today I'm going to give you a recommendation. Turn your damn TV off. Turn the radio off most of the time. Turn your phone off a lot, too. So here's the deal. The TV is competing constantly to distract you with stuff that really doesn't matter. I'm not saying, by the way, don't be informed. Don't know what's going on in the world, because that makes you more interesting, right? You should know what's going on in the world. But let's be real. Does it really matter what's going on with the Kardashians right now? Does it really matter? They live on my street in one of my neighborhoods, right? And they're very nice people. But I got to be honest with you, what happens in their life doesn't dramatically impact mine. But how many people are more obsessed with the Kardashians? And I can say this as good friends, we have many good friends in reality television. They're even listening to this right now. And they would tell you this, don't be so obsessed with them. Be obsessed with your own reality TV program called your own life, right? How about the news? All the time they're trying to distract us. Before it was Obama, now it's Trump. You better. Trump's Going crazy today. Obama was nuts about this health care. Iraq, Iran, North Korea. Right. Like all these things. And most of these things don't impact our own lives. I'm not saying don't know about them, but it's such a convenient escape from the work. It's such a convenient escape from our obsessions. The left against the right, Republicans against Democrats. Who's going to be the next president? Who's going to get the Democratic nomination? Can they beat Trump? Right? Who cares? Who cares right now you got to win in your own life. It's like when I say this, people say, well, that's not a very professional, evolved opinion. I'm just telling you what it takes to win. What it takes to win is not worrying about all that stuff that should be the background noise, but talking about it, thinking about it, watching TV about it. Who cares what's going on in the real whatevers of anywhere? Who cares what the Kardashians are doing? Who cares who's running for office right now? You say, well, wait a minute, aren't you socially conscious? Here's all I know. I've been alive through many different presidents, Republican and Democrat. None of them changed my life, none of them did. And none of them are going to change your life. If we're being real, people ask me all the time, why don't you run for office? Because I think entrepreneurs change the world. I think grassroots movements of good people and communities change the world. I don't think politicians change the world. And I don't mean that negatively. I've coached several of them. I want there to be good ones. I want them to make good decisions. But I don't obsess about it because it doesn't dramatically impact my own life. In fact, if you think about it, the majority of people obsessed with politics have. I'm just mean this nicely. They don't have much going on in their own life. So it's a convenient distraction to be mad at a politician because you're losing. It's a convenient distraction to get caught up in some issue outside of yourself. So you have to focus on your own life. If you can spend enough time obsessing about what these politicians or reality stars do, no one will look at you. But eventually in your life, you're faced with you. Eventually in your life, it's you. Eventually, it's your life. Eventually they won't be on tv. Eventually it'll all be gone. Remember how obsessed you were with President Obama? Whether you loved him or hated him, he's gone now. It's a new guy. And in either two more years or six more years, it'll be a new woman, hopefully. Right? So getting obsessed with these things doesn't matter. Men. So many of you, obsessed with sports, you're fans of these teams. Did it really change your life when the Patriots won the Super Bowl? Like, if you're a Patriot fan on Saturday, they hadn't yet won, on Sunday night, they won. How different was your life? Tom Brady's life was different. Yours wasn't. You Laker fans or basketball fans, does it really matter? Like, if your team wins, does it really matter? I got news for you guys. You don't play for the team. You don't. I know you think you do. I know you wear their jerseys. I think it's one of the funniest things in life. And I don't mean this critically, Please. I mean this as a brother, guys. But you running around wearing a jersey with an other grown man's name on the back of it, isn't that a little bit ridiculous? I mean, I really. Some of you ladies are nodding right now. My husband needs to hear this. Hey, dude, I don't mean this critically, but really, a grown ass man. You're wearing the name of another man on the back of your jersey every single day, literally. Your name isn't Bryant or James or Trout or Brady, but you wear their name on the back of you. Isn't that a little bit odd? We won Sunday. No, we didn't win. They won. You got to go back to work on Monday. You don't play for that team. And it's time you wake up and start getting focused on your own life. I'm not saying don't watch the game, but being obsessed with it throughout the week. Who's injured? Who's hurt? Are we going to win? We aren't doing anything because you don't play for them. In fact, players trade teams so much, what you really are rooting for is like laundry. You root for the team that has, like, this jersey, that's your color, but the players change all the time, yet you keep rooting for these teams. What a catastrophic. And I mean this love, because I'm a sports fan. I love the Red Sox, the Patriots. I'm a New England area sports fan, but I don't really get real caught up in it. I go to enjoy the game once in a while and how great they are as athletes. But what a catastrophic waste of your own life to be worrying about what professional athletes do and pretending to be on their team. You're not on the team. You don't win or lose. They do. Right? They do. So wake up and get focused on your own goals. Your own. I can hear all the women going, amen. Tell him. Preach. Right, ladies, in your cases, it might be your sports team, it might be your politics, it might be the television star, it might be some author you love, it might be something like that. For men or women? For women. Some of you at sports as well. But the fact of the matter is all of these things are a distraction from our own lives. You don't play for these teams, you're not on these shows, and you don't know these people. People. And whoever wins a Grammy or an Oscar doesn't change your life. You winning in your life is what changes it. When did making plans get this complicated? It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the secure messaging app that brings the whole group together. Use polls to settle dinner plans, send event invites and pin messages so no one forgets mom's 60th. And never miss a meeting or milestone. All protected with end to end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp message privately with everyone. Learn more@WhatsApp.com this episode is brought to you by State Farm. Checking off the boxes on your to do list is a great feeling. And when it comes to checking off coverage, a State Farm agent can help you choose an option that's right for you. Whether you prefer talking in person on the phone or using the award winning app, it's nice knowing you have help finding coverage that best fits fits your needs. Like a good neighbor. State Farm is there, so tune out the distractions. Will you please turn your TV off? Get focused in your own life. Invest those hours on podcasts like this that actually impact your life. Invest it on someone's social media like mine who's actually putting out messages about your life. And by the way, I say this as somebody who has many of these people on my show. Many of these people that you admire are friends of mine. As many of you know, there are things to learn from them. Absolutely. They're at the top of their craft. But I'm not deluded into thinking a top NBA player is any better a person than a top school teacher or a top nurse. I don't think a top politician is a superior human being over a top landscaper or a top banker or a top entrepreneur. Think the people at the top of everything. There's things to learn from. And guess what? The people at the top of everything have in Common. They're obsessed on their own lives, not other people's. Those athletes you admire didn't get there by worrying about your life, did they? And so tune out the distractions in our lives. Turn the TV off, get some perspective. Get obsessed. Because we do it, because it's an escape, because we don't have to look at ourselves. I'm challenging you to look at yourself, even on the podcast space. Narrow it down to the three, four or five of us that make the biggest difference for you. And then when you're done listening to us, go to work and execute, right? You can get over trained. You can listen to too many different shows. I happen to think you should be listening to mine because I think it's the best content. But pick a few, right? Don't be listening to 40 of them because there's time that you could be executing in your life if you listen to it in the car, at the gym. Listen to as many as you want. But in off of those times, pick three or four and the rest of the time be executing on your dream. So what I'm telling you is cnn, espn, Fox News, right? The E Channel. I have friends on all those channels. They're out to take you from your dreams. They're part of the enemy of stealing your dreams because they. Not consciously, but they take your time. They divert your focus. Can you get obsessed on one thing? What other things divert our focus? The things in life that don't matter. Our own negative thoughts, our own insecurities, our own weaknesses. These distract us. Failure distracts us. Gossiping of other people distracts us. Talking about other people, worrying about haters, getting caught up in things that don't matter in our life. Drugs and alcohol distract us. There's all these things. When you start to pile them into life, what's your distraction? Just be honest. Is it living vicariously through your children? Is it living through them and their soccer team and their little league and their grades? Are you distracted by living through your children? Are you distracted by espn? Are you distracted by movies, Netflix, video games, gossip, haters, Fox News, cnn? Right? Your problems. Are you distracted with things that don't matter in your life? There's all these things competing to get you to not be focused. How about your insecurities? How about your fears? How about your worries or your problems? Are you using all of these? Do you kinda. Your relationship issues? Does it distract you from your big goals? Do you let these things? Do you almost willingly do it? Here's what I think. Most of us are willing participants in our own distraction. And we need to be willing participants in our own focus, in our own obsessions and getting ourselves back on plan. Because remember what I told you, if you're really obsessed, the obsession will distract you from these things. But if you're not obsessed, these things will distract you from that thought. And this requires self auditing on your part. And so that's the part one that I think steals more dreams than almost anything in life right now is this obsession with distraction. It's the obsession with other people. Think about us. It's all of these things competing, except the one thing that matters, the one thing. But the best of the best. Listen to me. The one thing dominates their life. The reason some of the athletes I work with have a hard time when they retire. Can I be honest with you? You? Because they were so great at what they did, because they were so obsessed on that one thing. When that one thing is gone, they don't know what to do with themselves with all these distractions now, because the best in everything don't live with distraction. They live with obsession and focus. I'm not saying don't be a complete person, but I'm saying for you to complete your journey towards maxing out, for you to completely max out your life, you must eliminate all of these things that take you by the wayside. And so now the second part of the coin, if we're going to win, right, is the sacrifice. I want you to write this down. I need to embrace the suffering. You know, there's something powerful that once you just sort of embrace the fact that in order to achieve something big, you've got to get rid of these distractions. And then the other layer of it is you're probably going to have to have some suffering to get there or some sacrifice to get there. And so once you've embraced and decided that this suffering, this sacrifice you're making is an indicator of progress, it's an indicator of obsession, suffering and sacrifice and hard work is an indication of progress towards our dreams. The lack of sacrifice, the lack of suffering in our lives, its removal, its non existence also equates to a non existence of a great life, a non existence of a dream happening, a big one anyway. And so embrace the fact that you're gonna have to sacrifice, suffer to some extent. Once you've embraced that, it's going to happen, it's almost not that bad. It's kind of like those of you that are fit, we already know. And you already know, even if you're not, you sort of Accepted that before you go to the gym and get there, you're going to have to suffer. And we go anyway. It becomes a habit. No one goes into a gym thinking, I'm not going to have to sacrifice or suffer. There'll be no discomfort or no pain. But millions of people go anyway, don't they, to the gym on Sunday. Some level, there's suffering in the gym, whether it's breathing heavy or sweating or aches or pains or stress. You know, everything in the gym is a sacrifice. And to some extent, you're suffering, going through some pain. You know it before you go, don't you? Yet most of us go all the time. Yet in life, outside of that one area, most of us are worried about suffering. We're afraid of it. When we're suffering and sacrificing, we wonder whether it's worth it. We wonder whether we're still supposed to. We wonder whether sacrifice or setbacks or suffering is a sign it's not our real dream. Don't we see at the gym, you never think, oh, I'm going through some pain and discomfort. This must be a sign, I shouldn't be at the gym. You'd never think that. It goes with the territory. Everyone knows this. Build a bicep or a tricep or a chest or legs, you have to break it down, suffer and sacrifice for it to grow. So while it's happening, there's no part of you that says, this isn't right. In fact, the indication of the pain and sacrifice and sweat, don't you feel better at the gym? You're like, wow, I really sacrificed today. I really suffered. So in that area, we all know to the extent we suffer and sacrifice is to the extent we grow, and your body is a metaphor for the rest of your life. But the rest of our life, every time we sweat, every time we sacrifice, every time we suffer, we don't do what we do at the gym, we start saying, well, wait a minute, maybe I'm not supposed to be doing this. Maybe I'm not cut out. Maybe it's not my destiny. Maybe I just can't do it. It's the most unbelievable, ridiculous conclusion we draw. But it's what everybody does, which is another form of distraction, is doubt. The coins flip on each other all the time, don't they? Another form of distraction is just doubt. And doubt comes from the suffer. It comes from a loss. It comes from fear. It comes from the sacrifice. And so just remember this, you're supposed to suffer in sacrifice. So let me ask you A question. What are you willing to risk in order to make your dream come true? Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You're going to take a risk. Maybe it's financial. Maybe it's a risk of time. Maybe it's a risk at your job. Maybe it's a risk of looking bad. Maybe it's a risk of failing, of falling on your face, of going broke, of going through pain, of going through anxiety. Maybe it's even a risk in a relationship that's just going to be difficult while you do this. What are you willing to risk in order to win? And you have to accept that, because remember what I'm going to tell you. The price you will pay for not making your dream come true is far greater than the one that you will pay to make it come true. Want me to say it again? The price you will pay, the suffering you will go through to make your dream come true is incredibly small. Infinitely smaller than the price you will pay if you never do. You'll pay that one the rest of your Life. I'm Christian McCaffrey, pro running back, and Abercrombie is an official fashion partner of the NFL. I'm not kidding when I say NFL by Abercrombie Broke the Internet last year, and I think this season's lineup is even cooler. And so does my wife, who keeps stealing all my hoodies. Stay fit for the season. And Abercrombie's newest arrivals shop NFL by Abercrombie in the app, online and in store. And so ask yourself what you're willing to risk. What's the price you're willing to pay? Because what most people do when they're trying to chase their dream or their big outcome, the whole time they're negotiating the price in their head, they're negotiating it. Should I continue to do it? Is it worth it? I don't know if I can continue anymore. It's getting higher. And that price is failure. That price is set back. That price is looking back. That price can be financial, literally a physical price. And what happens is if you don't negotiate that price in advance, it's going to steal your focus and energy and become another distraction. One of the great distractions of chasing our dreams is this thing that goes off in our head as we're negotiating the price we're paying. Should I keep paying it? Is it getting too high? Is it too much? And you'll have people in your ear, it's too big a sacrifice. You're going through too much. And you begin to negotiate it in your mind. It destroyed all your focus. You can't be executing and negotiating simultaneously. If you're in your head negotiating and negotiating and negotiating, you can't execute. So negotiate it now. Negotiate it with me now. What are you willing to pay for me when I'm after something big? As long as it's legal, ethical and moral, I'll sacrifice everything else, but I will not sacrifice anything legal, anything unethical, or anything immoral. But beyond that, I'm going to get it. And I know that negotiation comes up front. I accept the suffering. I accept the sacrifice. I know the sacrifice is far smaller than the one I'll pay if I don't do it. And I eliminate distractions and I go freaking get what I want in my life, just like you can. And this needs to be your recipe as well. If you're one of these people who's still negotiating whether it's worth it, maybe you got someone in your head making you question it. That is a poverty and scarcity mentality. Let me prove it to you. When I didn't have money and I spent most of my life with none, just like you, what do we do when we go into a store? We don't go get what we want. We go get what we think we can afford. And so I spent the majority of my life flipping price tags over. I didn't buy that shirt I wanted. I buy the one that I could afford. I bought things based on price, not worth. And so I'm sure you. I didn't buy the car I wanted. I bought the car I could afford. So when I was broke and I had scarcity, what do you do when you're in that position? You negotiate price. You flip price tags. What's it cost? What's the cost? What's the cost? What's the cost? Not what do you want? When I was poor, everywhere I went flip the price tag on what's it cost? What's it cost? What's it cost? What's it cost? I was constantly negotiating the price for everything in my life. You do that when you come from a place of scarcity, of being poor. Successful people and wealthy people have a subtle distinction. They don't look at price, they look at worth. Is this worth it? If you're constantly looking at the price tag, you'll eventually relent, you'll eventually give in. Stop negotiating the price. It's a freeing experience to totally commit. When you totally commit to a relationship, to a business, to your fitness, to your faith, it's a freeing, powerful. It's Almost like removing kryptonite from your life when you totally commit, can you do that? The people around you always talk, it's costing too much, it's costing too much. And you're going, maybe it's costing too much. You guys start going, no, it's worth it. It's not the price, it's the worth. It's a subtle distinction in your life. That same scarcity mentality we do in going after our dreams. We want to acquire our dream. You can't be in price tag mode. What's it cost? What's the cost? What's the cost? You never get what you want. Decide in advance what it's going to cost and then decide. Here's the subtle distinction. Successful people don't negotiate the cost of something. They negotiate whether it's worth it. That's subtle. It's very subtle. If you're a person who's always thinking about what it's costing you in the sacrifice towards your dream, you're always going to be negotiating it. But if you can decide in advance that the cost is worth it, the negotiation stops and you go, execute. What I'm telling you is if you really want something bad enough, it's worth it. It's worth it. So start to feed yourself the worth question over and over and over again. Not the cost question. Cost is a distraction. Worth is a focus mechanism. This is so worth it. It's so worth it, it's so worth it. Focuses you. Cost distracts you. What I want to remind you of is on the other side of that suffering, on the other side of that sacrifice, on the other side of that laser focus is your dream. It's one of the greatest places you'll ever be in your life. And here's what I know, by the way. The times where you've been the most laser focused in your life. Listen to me on this. You've been the most happy. The times, you've been the most distracted, you've been the most unhappy. Ladies, if you're listening to this, you think about the times where maybe when you were pregnant, for example, if you've been pregnant before, and the amount of focus that went in on that beautiful baby you were going to have, the preparation for it. I mean, you're carrying that child right next to you. You can't get more focus on something than something you're carrying, right? And I'll guarantee you during labor, you weren't thinking about your. You were thinking about your electric bill or some email you had to return. You were damn Focused on that moment. And I'll bet that baby made you almost happier than you ever been in your life. For some of you, that when you were cramming for finals in your life, right, that, that first time you were cramming and it was so laser focused on something and you were happy. You know, the truth is, that was a happy time in your life for some of you that have built some businesses or, or maybe when you were in your courtship, dating who you're now married to, you were so focused, weren't you, during that time with that person, some of the happiest times of your life. The most focused times in our life, the less distracted times in our life also equals the happiest times in our life. So if you really want true bliss, you want true fulfillment, it comes from eliminating the distractions and becoming obsessed. There are healthy obsessions in life, and the more obsessed we are about healthy things, the happier we are. Whether we're obsessed with the happy times of carrying that baby and having that baby, the happy times of achieving a degree we've had in life, that obsession we've had when we were dating somebody and we were so in love with them, these times when we're in the healthiest of our obsessions is when we're the happiest. So I want to challenge you today to make that shift of eliminating these distractions and elevating your level of focus in your life. And remember this, there's three things that I want you to be controlling. Your state, your story, and your strategy. State, story, strategy. What's your state? Are you in a state of focus? Are you pumped up? Are you breathing deeply? Are you lasered in on something? Are you completely in there? Or is your state a distracted, diverted state? Right? Hunched over, watching tv, looking at your phone, worrying about Iraq, worrying about North Korea, worrying about Trump, worrying about Obama, worrying about an election, worrying about who's in a fight on a reality show, Right? All of that stuff distracts us. Are you in a state totally pumped up, totally focused on your dreams? Lasered in number two, what's the story you're telling yourself? Are you telling yourself the sacrifice is worth it, the suffering is worth it? That you're. The price you're going to pay is worth it, and that you're going to get on the other side and great things are going to happen and your obsessions become your possessions and this is the happiest you've ever been before and your life matters and you're not some fan of some team you're a fan of your own life, that when we win, we really win. When you win the game of your own life, you really win. Not when the Patriots or Lakers win, but when I win. And you're telling yourself that story, or you're telling yourself the other story, hey, man, I hope we get our quarterback on Sunday. I hope LeBron can drop 25, you know, and you tell this distracted story that's completely meaningless in your own life about some sports team, right? Which story are you telling yourself? The one of your own life or hiding in the story of other people's lives? Let me say that to you again. Are you telling the story of your own life or are you hiding in the story of other people's lives? We hide in the story of other people's lives through gossip of people that are around us talking bad about them. We hide in reality tv, we hide in the news, we hide in politicians, and we hide pretending we play for these sports teams. Those are all stories about other people's lives. Are you in the story of your own life? And then lastly, what's your strategy? You got to execute on your strategy. Have a very detailed plan to make that story you're telling a reality and everything transforms, forms in your life. Man, I hope this helped you today. It helped me. I'm pumped up right now. If you're listening this, you could probably hear it. If you're watching, and I know you can see it. And that's a reminder, by the way, if you're listening to this on audio, on itunes or Spotify, go subscribe to my YouTube channel. Make sure you're getting the video content as well. Only thing I ask of you is you share this I hope today changed your perspective. You learn things and you feel inspired as well. If you do, I just want to thank you for your followership, thank you for your viewership, and I hope you continue to max out your life. This is the Ed Milan Show.