← THE ED MYLETT SHOW
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- [00:00]
Ed Mylett
So, hey guys, listen. We're all trying to get more productive and the question is, how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth based environment that you're much more likely to grow and you're going to grow faster. And that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Burchard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down growthday.com forward/ed. So if you want to be more productive, by the way, he's asked me, I post videos in there every single Monday that gets your day off to the right start. Got about $5,000, $10,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with the app. Also, some of the top influencers in the world are all posting content in there on a regular basis, like having the avengers of personal development and business in one app. And I'm honored that he asked me to be a part of it as well and contribute on a weekly basis. And I do. So go over there and get signed up. You're going to get a free tuition, free voucher to go to an event with Brendan and myself and a bunch of other influencers as well. So you get a free event out of it also. So go to growthday.com forward/ed. That's growthday.com forward slash ed. Advantage Gold is giving away a free copy of Rogoff's book to anyone who schedules a one on one precious metals appointment. You'll discover why gold is becoming the number one hedge against a global currency ship and how to move your IRA or 401k into physical gold. Tax and penalty free. Get your free copy today while supplies last text win to 85545 that's win 85545 or go to advantagegold.com data and message rate supp performance may vary. You should always consult your financial and tax professional. This is the Ed Milet show. Welcome back to the show, everybody. So you know, every once in a while I go find the guest that I want. As you all know that the show nowadays literally we get thousands of requests for people to come on the show and it's very difficult for me and the team to determine who we want to have on. And then every once in a while I find somebody and I tell the team, go get them. That's who I want to have on the show. They inspire, they move me. The world needs to know More about them and this couple that I'm going to introduce to you today is exactly that. I've been watching their stuff for a while. I can't put it down. I moved. I'm inspired. I learn. And they have a rather remarkable story. If you don't follow the wheelchair dad, you need to. But he is a very unique man. Many, many years ago, 2013, he fell off a roof about 35ft and he became paralyzed from the waist down after that incident. Obviously, that was lifechanging. Any of you going through a life changing event right now, you want to lean in. Any of you think you're having a bad day compared to what we're going to talk about that today? He's a remarkable man. He's a real man. He's strong. He's also kind, gentle, vulnerable, and shows all of the emotions a man should show publicly and privately. She is spectacular. She's the brains behind their operation on social media, as I understand it. She met him after this fall happened, after he was in a wheelchair. And together they've built an amazing family. I think they have six babies. We're going to dive into that, their story, their resiliency, but they've also built a big social media following, and she is going to give you some tips to doing that as well. Dan and Andrea Cotter, welcome to the show. Great to have you.
- [03:22]
Andrea Cotter
Thank you so much. So good to be here. And you're already making me cry.
- [03:26]
Dan Cotter
Great intro. Yeah, me too. Well, I mean, if I were to cry, that's where.
- [03:30]
Ed Mylett
Well, when someone speaks truth to you, it. It hits differently. All right, Dan, let's start with you. I'm gonna. I every. My audience knows me. I need to keep it together today so that we can have a great conversation. So I'm gonna sound a little business, like, at least in the beginning, but can you just, brother, like as detailed as you can. Yesterday, our dog passed away, Lily. And it was a dramatic day for our family. Most people on social media know. Lily, I haven't even told the world yet till the podcast, right? So I'm saying it right now. And that was a really life altering day for our family. And then I'm like. But I'm interviewing Dan tomorrow. That was a life altering day. There's. There's levels to life altering. And what you had is a level most people can't even conceive of. What happened that day?
- [04:15]
Dan Cotter
Yeah, that day we were. I was building a house for some. A friend of a friend. We were setting the trusses for the roof Just like the skeleton work. And I was up on the top of that. And we're just didn't have the best hands on. On the deck, running around on the ground. Somebody else was bracing up. And I was up on the very top of the peak, about 30 to 35ft up. I just remember feeling. I can still feel it as soon as I think about it. I just remember feeling everything start to shift. And I said, oh, and that's about. I took like two steps across the board to where, I don't know. I just like moving. And then that was it. There wasn't anywhere to go. And hit the ground, the cement floor, halfway in, halfway out of the garage door. And had a trail of trusses and wood and lumber coming down after me as well. And I woke up in the hospital and it was just a. Just a. I guess a different day. As soon as I started remembering everything and different people popping in and out of the hospital, it was different at first. I could still move my feet a little bit, my foot up and down. And the doctors were all excited because it turns out I was like broken in half when I hit the ground. I cracked my C1 vertebrae up at the very top. And then where I used to sling my hammer on my tool belt, when I landed, I landed on my hammer. And so in the back, it was like my L1, which is about your belly button level. That one exploded and then broke my S2, 3, and 4. So basically your tailbone area just got crushed. And then broke my pelvis in three places, collapsed my left lung and tore my spleen. And so that was the mess the doctors got to start dealing with. And.
- [06:04]
Ed Mylett
Well, but you had to start dealing with a reality at some point that maybe you're not going to walk again. Was there a point where you knew that was going to be the case? I've had a couple people on who had an incident. A football player who became paralyzed. And what's the moment like when you go, oh, like, my life is definitely not the same anymore. Do you remember that consciously what you were processing at the time or when you knew?
- [06:30]
Dan Cotter
I do. It's kind of weird. 30ft sounds like a long ways to fall, but this was like third time hitting that.
- [06:38]
Ed Mylett
What?
- [06:39]
Dan Cotter
Yeah, the first time I went three stories down, I was able to get up and my body started working about a half hour later and went like. I was just young and dumb and went 30ft down an elevator shaft. And there was some snow in the bottom that we shoveled in there the day before. But so that one, that one I, I, I came back out of and then about six months later was the second one that had some heat stroke and fell in a direction of the edge of the floor and somehow ended 32ft down. And that when I broke my femur, my leg was wrapped around like my back and my foot was up here. And, and so that was on that one and, and I actually tore ligaments off of my, my C1, the one up in the top again. And so that one I, I recovered. Like I, they put a rod in my leg so my leg was normal again. And like I had to do physical therapy a bunch and move my leg a bunch. But like, I mean I recovered from that one, felt like I was young and dumb and invincible. And then when I had this one, like I could still move my foot originally and like I could hear the doctors, you know, they were like, oh man, like move your foot, you know, do the gas pedal thing. And you know, like everything was going okay. And then one or two days turned into several more and nothing was happening as far as surgery, surgeries or any intervention. And then finally we got transferred to a different hospital and had surgery. And then when I came out of that surgery, my legs were just swollen and huge by this point and I couldn't move my feet and do that gas pedal thing anymore. So it kind of started to be frustrating and sink in that you know, maybe you're not going to beat this one. But it didn't really sink in yet. I still had tons of physical therapy in front of me. I thought for sure I was just gonna work through it and end up normal still again. And then it wasn't until about a couple weeks before I actually was released out of the hospital. When I was down there in their physical therapy room, they have a board, a white wall, a whiteboard, and they put down people's names and projected release date. And I, when I saw my name on that like it sun like it finally suddenly sunk in that dude, you're like, you're going home paralyzed. Like you're not walking. You didn't beat it. Like I still thought in the back of my mind like I took the first year off from worrying about anything and just did physical therapy five days a week. And any, any chance I had I was gonna give it to it, give it its all. And so I worked on it that whole first year and when I left the hospital, I knew I was going to be in a wheelchair finally. And I kind of had to swallow that and it was, it Was a lot going on.
- [09:27]
Ed Mylett
One, we haven't even talked about all the pain you went through physically. Right. That's like, That's. That's a given, I assume. But two, I'd be thinking probably never going to work again because I work physically, which, by the way, turned out not to be true with him. Everyone. Wait till you see his carpentry work. You're going to be blown away. You can believe what this guy does, okay? That's why he's here. He's not here because he's in a wheelchair, okay. He's not here. It's because of what he's done from the chair, which is what I want you all to lean into today. But I'd also be thinking. I mean, I'd be thinking about all the things in my life I'm not going to have again. Was that running through your mind regularly? Did you get depressed?
- [10:02]
Dan Cotter
There was a lot going through my mind. My divorce. I. I had started a divorce with my wife at the time.
- [10:08]
Ed Mylett
Prior to the fall, correct?
- [10:09]
Dan Cotter
Prior to the fall, yeah. She had already set. She'd already moved out. We were still working on our divorce, but the divorce finalized. And, like, I knew I was going to be a single dad still. I was. It. It was really important that I had joint custody. 50. 50, you know, so then, like, everything. Yeah. Was going through my head. What am I going to do to provide for my. My girls? Like, I got. I got stuck with the house and the cars and anything that we owed money on. Like, how the hell am I going to. What am I going to do to pay this. Where's this leading? And there was a lot of stress and. And I think that kind of took the mind off of some of the reality. Yeah. Like, I was worried about relationships or girls I was dating and curious. Wow, that was going to pan out. And the rest of, you know, through the rest of any of those relationships or going into my future, what that was going to be like. I knew I still wanted to be married at some point and have a family that was solid. And a lot of fear and unknown, uncertain stuff that I was trying to process. And the situation in the hospital, the floor I was on was like, people that had strokes and head injuries and other, you know, neurological type stuff. So I saw. I saw a lot of people that were a lot worse off.
- [11:26]
Ed Mylett
What blows my mind about people that go through events like this that end up on the other side, Somehow they find something to be grateful about by comparison. Almost. It's like, I'm not surprised. You Just said that, well, at least I didn't have a stroke, you know, at least I could still think. At least I. And I wonder if that's a lesson for everyone listening to. If you're going through something. I know you know this, but someone does have it worse. Like they've got a great relationship, they have a beautiful family, they're blowing up on social media. I think they're probably making a couple bucks, you know what I mean? Like things can change from where you are. I mean, I, I say this on your behalf, Dan. If you can walk, if you're able bodied right now in your life, that's just something we all take for granted every single day. Until you can't. Until you can't. And I just want you all thinking about all the things in your life that maybe you're just not taking, you're taking for granted every single day. And one of the things Andrew, I wanted to ask you is like, you know, there's something special about you and then obviously there's something special about Dan that you saw that of all the men on earth, you said, that's the one I want to spend my life with. How'd you meet? And when did you know? And how did you know?
- [12:40]
Andrea Cotter
Well, it's so interesting because if you know our story, you know that I, I was going through my own tragedy at the time that we met.
- [12:49]
Ed Mylett
What was it? Tell them. I know, but they don't.
- [12:51]
Andrea Cotter
My husband at the time was in a bullet bike accident and he was left with a traumatic brain injury that left him now like a seven year old child. And we were kind of going through some hard things prior to that accident. I took care of him for several months. It was about eight months before I decided to separate from him. I was only 32 years old and I had two young kids. And when I met Dan, the first time I saw him, he was sat at a table. So we were both in the therapy system together at the hospital because we were both going through these traumas and he was sitting at a table, he was looking through a pamphlet. Actually I found this out later. He was looking through a pamphlet of accessible apartments trying to figure out where he was going to live. And I saw this. It was like a very disheartening look on his face. But there was also a strength to it. Like I just saw that he was such a warrior and something, something drew me to him and that was the first time I saw him. But it wasn't until months later that we actually spoke to each other while we were both in the therapy room. Actually, the first words that I spoke to him was, you're a stud. Because that's what he is. Like, he just, he has this power and this presence and this tenacity about him. So I actually was sitting in Taco Bell, eating just near the rehab facility that we were at, and I saw him pull up. He had brought his grandfather to lunch and he drove himself. He was unloading his wheelchair out of the car, he wheeled up to the door, he opened the door for his grandpa. He and I knew that he had recently been injured. And so the fact that he had already like pulled himself together, gotten an accessible vehicle, was driving, was inviting his grandpa to lunch. And I went over and made sure I had the opportunity to hold the door open for him. And as he passed me, I was like, you are a stud. Like, you just are.
- [14:56]
Ed Mylett
Yeah, he is.
- [14:57]
Andrea Cotter
I didn't, I didn't really see the wheelchair. I saw the strength that he had, beating the wheelchair, like 100%. Our meeting was put together by God. There's no doubt in my mind we needed to meet each other. We needed to meet each other. At the time that we did, we both provided the strength and encouragement and empathy and understanding for each other that we needed at that time. As a friendship built and, you know, further down the road, it turned into more.
- [15:27]
Ed Mylett
But I see the big guy there getting all teary eyed as you're talking. And I think what drew me to your content first is all the things Dan goes through yet achieves, which we're going to talk about in a minute. The other piece of it is the faith piece for me. And I'm just curious, Dan, in your case and Andrea, were you super strong on your faith before this fall? And then it just became stronger. Dan, in your case, or was it like after that you found your faith in God? And Andrea, what about you coming into this?
- [16:01]
Dan Cotter
This is a big part of my, my story, my presence. I guess in my opinion, I grew up in the church and ditched out when I was 17 and moved out, did my whole thing, live my own life and was making all the wrong choices, like in every way, like just was not doing very good. I was having fun, I thought. But then towards the end of my relationship with my ex, I started realizing that there was a lot missing, that there's a lot more to life. And I was looking at my 7 year old daughter now thinking, oh my gosh, she's watching me, like do this party lifestyle and just watching me do all this dumb stuff. And, like, she's gonna find a dude just like me, and I'm not gonna have that. There's no way. And so, like, I really took a look at myself at that point and started having questions and started meeting again, like, with religious leaders and started my journey back into my faith and trying to strengthen that. And it was about three months. This was about three months prior to my accident. So a lot of people. A lot of people are like, man, how did you, like, weren't you mad at God for, you know, all this happening? And I really attribute the fact that I was seeking God and really using that as a strength to build me and my family, my character, and everything that I had, that as a strength that helped pull me up.
- [17:31]
Ed Mylett
That's what got you through, you think? Andrea, did you have faith when you met him?
- [17:35]
Andrea Cotter
Yes. Yeah, I've always been a pretty faithful person and had a strong relationship with God, and, yeah, I think that that was helping carry me through a lot of things that helped me make a lot of hard choices, and that's been something I've always held near to my heart and been super thankful for.
- [17:52]
Ed Mylett
Let me ask you this straight up, Andrea. You first. What's. What's the thing you would say to someone who's going through their version of this? What would you say to them that got you guys through it and gets you to flourish, even though I know you still have bad days?
- [18:06]
Andrea Cotter
Yeah. Oh, for sure. I was going to say, the reality of it is that we've been married over 10 years, and we didn't start our social media until three years ago. There's a reason for that, and it is that we're both on our third marriage. We're blending families. It has not been easy. It has been a huge struggle. We had to wait to start our social media until there were enough days in a row that we felt positive towards each other.
- [18:30]
Ed Mylett
I love this.
- [18:31]
Andrea Cotter
And it was a fight. It has been a major challenge, and it's taken a lot of work on both of our parts. We both deal with a lot of trauma, and we had ex spouses and blending families and different parenting styles, it has not been easy by any stretch of the imagination. But I think through everything that we go through, whether it's health struggles or problems in our marriage or whatever, I think when you have that connection to God, when you have that closeness, it just makes. It puts everything into perspective. It makes everything seem like it's not so big, and like, you just know that it's. There's ups and there's downs, and that's how this life is meant to be. And I think there was a moment, this last health scare that we had when we were in the hospital.
- [19:19]
Ed Mylett
You just had another one?
- [19:21]
Andrea Cotter
Yeah. And Dan was facing. He had this major infection in his leg, and. And the doctors were starting to talk about scary things like amputations and cutting his leg open all the way through to the bone and all these scary things. And there was a moment where this is the first time that I had seen, actually, Dan being somewhat beat by. By the devastation that this stuff is. Just. You would think that he doesn't use his legs being paralyzed, but he uses them a lot. If you watch our videos, you see he uses them to prop himself up and to get into the car and all the things. And so the thought of losing those things was just, like, I could see the defeat in his face. And the doctor came in, and he was basically telling us, like, we're worried that this is spreading to the bone, to the muscle. We need to cut your leg open. We need to do all these things. And that was terrifying to us, and for several reasons. One being that Dan's legs do not heal well. So if they cut it open, it would be a wound for eternity. So we had the doctor leave the room so that we could talk about it and think about it. We felt like it was an urgent situation. And Dan starts scrolling through his phone, and he called his mom, and he's, like, searching through his phone to try and find, like, who can I call to try and give me advice on this? And I turned to him and I said, dan, there's nobody in your phone that knows what to do more than God does. And so I said, we need to pray right now. And so we sat there in the hospital bed and said a prayer. And when the prayer was done, we both looked down at Dan's leg, and it was bright red all the way up. The infection was spreading. And for both of us, we. Immediately when the prayer was done, we saw, like, the redness in his leg was just, like, dissipating. And we looked at each other, and I was like, are you seeing. Like, are you seeing that, too? And it didn't stay that way. The infection was still there for a long time. But that was enough to tell us that God was aware of us and that he was answering our prayer. So the fact that we both saw that getting better a little bit made us realize that it wasn't such an urgent situation, and we had time, and we didn't need to make that drastic situation in that moment. And the peace of the spirit told that to us in that moment. Nobody on the phone could have told us that. So I think. I think when you have a close relationship with God, it just helps you put things into perspective. You can feel the peace even when you're going through the storms.
- [21:57]
Dan Cotter
Yeah.
- [21:58]
Ed Mylett
I'm picturing your leg changing there. And I believe you, by the way. I believe that that started to change. Dan, would your answer be different?
- [22:06]
Dan Cotter
No, not at all. It was pretty surreal leading, like up to that situation and that you're talking about and that we're just talking about it was pretty remarkable and did just set us back for a minute and gave us a chance to figure out what we were going to do. It got rid of the urgency that the surgeon was putting on us. It was like the surgery room's prep, the OR tables were ready for you. You just got to sign this paper and then we're going to go down and cut open both sides of your leg and just start. And they're like, if we don't, you could die.
- [22:40]
Ed Mylett
Do you both either like going through that situation or even now? Be honest. I love Andrea. You're being so honest about why you waited. Get on social media. That's like a real relationship. What percentage of the time you're like, this sucks? I mean, do you still have those days and those moments where you're just like, this just sucks. Like we have to deal with all of this or is it just part of your normal now if I'm really.
- [23:00]
Dan Cotter
Just alone or silent and just thinking about like my. How crazy my nerve pain gets sometimes with that other condition I have with my nerves and yes. Where it's just like, gosh, like when I really just am stuck in that moment thinking about it, like, it really sucks.
- [23:17]
Ed Mylett
It's hard to watch those videos, bro. When you're. When you're in those moments, man, that's. My heart goes out to you. When I think of your content, I think of the faith, I think of the work you create. And I think of me seeing you a couple times in that. Those moments, it. That doesn't leave me. Can you describe that condition, by the way, so everybody knows what we're talking about right now? Like, this is. This didn't just end once he was in the wheelchair, you guys.
- [23:43]
Dan Cotter
My nerve pain was elevated from the get go. The doctors were just like really confused. Didn't figure it out for four and a half years and all the surgeries and everything. It created a condition called adhesive. Arachnoiditis. It sounds really like made up, but it's real. But it's just all your nerves in your back instead of like free flowing and being able to like float around in the spinal fluid. Like they're just stuck together and then it's, it scars to the sidewall inside and from that point your nerves and your body and everything is just really confused and crazy and like my, even though I broke my back and everything's in my back, my leg, left leg is where all my pain is. And, and it used to be like the, the ugly in those videos when, when you see like my tens and elevens on my pain. Like those used to happen like regularly, every day. Oh my gosh. We've been able to get it, we've been able to get it now to where it's like not near as crazy and near as frequently or anything. I don't feel like we get stuck in the suck stuff very often.
- [24:45]
Ed Mylett
Lately I've been on a mission more than ever to help people completely shift their mindset around faith, finances and overcoming adversity. That's why I've teamed up with Life Surge. Life Surge is a one day faith based event where you'll get the tools, inspiration and strategy to grow your resources, crush obstacles and use it all for something bigger than yourself, with thousands of people in your community. And I'll be there in person with you for one day only. Saturday, August 16th at the Xcel Energy Center. And I'm not coming alone. Tim Tebow, John C. Maxwell, Nick Vujicic, Chris Carter and Kayleigh McEnany will be joining me in Minneapolis to inspire you and equip you to rise in your faith, multiply your resources and live with impact. And listen because you're part of my community. Use the code ED30 at checkout for a 30% discount on your tickets. Visit lifesurge.com and use the code ED30 at checkout for your exclusive listener discount. That's lifesurge.com promo code ED30 I can't wait to see you there. Lately I've been on a mission more than ever to help people completely shift their mindset around faith, finances and overcoming adversity. That's why I've teamed up with LifeSurge. LifeSurge is a one day faith based event where you'll get the tools, inspiration and strategy to grow your resources, crush obstacles and use it all for something bigger than yourself, with thousands of people in your community. And I'll be there in person with you for one day only Saturday, August 16th at the Xcel Energy Center. And I'm not coming alone. Tim Tebow, John C. Maxwell, Nick Vujicic, Chris Carter and Kaylee McEnany will be joining me in Minneapolis to inspire you and equip you to rise in your faith, multiply your resources and live with impact. And listen, because you're part of my community. Use the code ED30 at checkout for a 30% discount on your tickets. Visit lifesurge.com and use the code ED30 at checkout for your exclusive listener discount. That's Life surgeon promo code ED30. I can't wait to see you there. Is there any part of you, either of you now, where you're like, this was actually an ironic blessing of some types?
- [27:02]
Andrea Cotter
100%.
- [27:03]
Dan Cotter
Oh, absolutely.
- [27:05]
Andrea Cotter
Dan actually says that he wouldn't change it. If he could go back to that day, he wouldn't change. Has been. I mean, the fact that we met, that we were able to blend families, our two babies that we've had together, the faith that we've both built through the trials, like, there's. There's no part of me that would change anything that I've experienced. There's no part of me that would change what we're going through together.
- [27:29]
Dan Cotter
Yeah. Reading through people's comments and comments from people, like how our videos or like sharing our lives with them have, like, literally changed people's lives. Like, even people that were saying, you know, I was ready to commit suicide. I mean, I was going to be done with life. And for some reason I found your channel and like, something in there course corrected that or we had, you know, there's people that. They're one that stands out. He's like, I was an atheist, don't believe in God at all. But now you've got me questioning and you know, but there's so many of the things in there, or dads. Like, a big thing for me is when a father gets on there and is like, man, you, you're. I'm rethinking everything about being a dad. Like, it. It's huge for me to be able to know that, that there's all of this positivity and all of these lives changed. A life that they're changing for their kids, for their spouse, for their grandbabies, for. Yeah, who knows what it's going to do.
- [28:30]
Ed Mylett
Isn't God amazing, bro? That day, by the way, very few dudes fall off roofs three times. But as you're falling that day, that God would use you this many years later to reach Millions of people is just amazing. The power of when you have God's blessing. But also. And I just want to tell you, the two of you, I. I've been trying to figure out, what is it with the two of you that, like, moves me? Because I don't feel sorry for you. Right. I really don't. You're too strong. You're both. You're. You are a stud. Dude. Wheelchair aside, you're stud, and Andrea's a studet, So I don't have that. I think it's that I'm moved by your will to live and do better. Like, you have tremendous will. I think this. If I'm guessing this whole wheelchair thing strengthened your faith, and also, you found a will within yourself that you didn't know you had. And, Andrea, when you were a little girl growing up, you weren't thinking, my first husband's going to have a traumatic brain injury, and I can't really communicate with him anymore. And then the second guy, I'm going to pick a guy in a wheelchair. That wasn't your. Your vision for your life, but you've got this thing in you that you didn't know this will. Am I right about that? Like, if you're bragging, the two of you are so damn humble, it's hard to get you to say anything good about yourselves. But, like, there's some validity that. I know. I know. Like, you could have even had a fight before we went on the podcast today. I know you have real life. I know one of your kids is screwing up something right now. Like, we all have real life. And then I have you with these tears in your eyes right now. I think there's a will to live, but also this will to serve other people through your content. If you're bragging, am I right about what I just said? If you were really bragging on yourself.
- [30:11]
Andrea Cotter
When you're faced with something, like, you have a choice to make, you either do it or you don't. And I think our kids give us so much drive because, like, what are we gonna do? Like, sit there and cry while we have six kids waiting for us to put dinner on the table? Like, we can't.
- [30:26]
Ed Mylett
Yeah.
- [30:27]
Andrea Cotter
Like, it's just. I think the motivation is just like, yeah, helping our kids, helping each other, wanting each other to succeed. But it's not. Like, I stop and think about, like, oh, I have this major willpower to. To try and do things. Like, I think we've just been faced with hard things and. And made a choice to, like, do the Right thing with it.
- [30:46]
Ed Mylett
You're. You're being humble. You've done more than that. You're not just like we did. Okay, you know, we're getting by. We want to do for our kids. No. Millions of people have been moved some way or another by your lives. Right. And we might as well shift to this because, yeah, Dan, you're incredible. But also, your wife has found a way to present your life to the world through the way she shoots the videos, the way she edits the videos, the music with it, the messaging behind it that is like, I think it's the best I've seen. It's why you're here. So what about the whole social thing? Like, if you were to both talk about that talk? Because a lot of people, like, my life's nowhere near as I'm not overcoming being in a wheelchair, having six kids, two IVF babies, a chronic pain disease. But. But at the same time, they could be creating content, documenting their life that could change people's lives as well, right?
- [31:40]
Dan Cotter
Sure. And it is unreal. Andrea is very special. Like, amazing woman, for real. And I know, yeah, I just have to say that. And like, amazing daughter of God. But she is really just so matter of fact in so many things too. Like she was just saying a minute ago, it's like daily. Like, if there's any question on doing something, she, like, just simplifies things.
- [32:03]
Ed Mylett
Andrea, do you have a background in it? Like, how did you know how to do all this stuff?
- [32:06]
Andrea Cotter
I don't have a background in it other than just like, posting my family along, like, through the years. But no, I. I think I just. I had an inspiration. Like, Dan's inspiring. I just started shooting cute videos of him with our kids, you know, holding the babies and just all the sweet things. And then I love music. I love, like, I'm very passionate about music. I just get really into it and I feel it, like, often, like, crying when I'm trying to listen to music, you know, I just feel it. And then, yeah, I think we have a story to tell. But for. For anyone that wants to get into social media that doesn't feel like they have a story to tell, I think we all, as humans have the same struggles. Like, there might be a more level of intensity of it. Like, it might be worse at certain points or whatever. But human emotion, sadness, happiness, joy, depression, anxiety, like, all the things, like, they're the same across the board. Like, we all experience it. In fact, when we were going through our different traumas, like, sometimes people would start talking to us about their problems. And then they'll be like, oh, but I can't talk to you about mine. Like, yours is much worse. And I'm like, no. Like, you're feeling the same emotions I'm feeling. Like, they're all the same. So people that don't feel like they have a story, like, you do have a story in the mundane things of everyday life, the hardships of just being a mom and waking up every day and sleep deprivation and all the things, like, everybody has a story to tell. So if I had to give advice to someone that was wanting to start social media, it's just one, be real and completely authentic. Because I have never, to this day, staged a moment for our videos. I record real life things, and then I put it to music and put words on it. Two, just post consistently. You have to be consistent at it. And that's what. That's what keeps it moving.
- [34:03]
Ed Mylett
What's consistent every day?
- [34:05]
Andrea Cotter
When I. When I first started, I posted probably three or four times a week. Lately, I haven't been posting near that much. But, yeah, I. It depends on who you ask. Some people are like, you need to post three to five times a day. I haven't. I've only ever posted a few times a week.
- [34:20]
Ed Mylett
What made you. With the heaviness of your life, right? Say we want to have two more babies. Like, what made you do that?
- [34:29]
Dan Cotter
I was actually doing some work at our. One of our temples and worked there regularly. But, like, I think I was just more, like, spiritually connected. I just kept having this prompting, even though my. My physical, normal human brain and body was like, dude, you don't. You don't need more babies. You're already old as crap anyways. Like, you know, can I get to you this? And. And then, like, you know, I had talked. I basically had talked Andrea out of the idea. Like, she was like, let's have babies. And I was like, no, we. We. We are way too screwed up to have babies. And I was like, who knows, like, what we're gonna. If we're even gonna be together? Like, that was just like, the real. You know, I've been divorced twice. She's been divorced twice. This is round three for both of us. It's just like, I had to look at that. I feel like. But then I kept having this prompting, just like, dude, you need to have another baby. You're not done. You're like. And so finally, like, one night we were laying in bed, and I was like, it was eating at me, and I was like, hey, babe. I keep on having this feeling like, that we need to have, like, another baby. And she was just like. I was, like, thinking. She was like, the. There would be glitter falling from the ceiling. She'd be jumping my bones, and, you know, like, all sorts of good stuff. She was just like, are you kidding me? I was like, whoa, wait, wait, are you awake or, you know, you like. No, I just said, you know, let's have a. I think we need to have a baby. But no, she was just like, I don't know if I'm ready for that. But.
- [35:54]
Andrea Cotter
Well, I had. I had spent years having fertility struggles, and all I wanted was more babies. More babies. And, yeah, I had convinced myself. I have ms, we're both older, all of our kids are finally in school, so we have some free time. Like, I had convinced myself for the first time in my adult life that I didn't want any more kids. So it was quite the shock when he did that.
- [36:16]
Dan Cotter
But.
- [36:17]
Ed Mylett
So they had two. Everybody, like, everything they do, they do more than normal people.
- [36:21]
Dan Cotter
That was a whole nother story, too.
- [36:22]
Andrea Cotter
It was all divinely directed, is the answer. And. And now we know why. I mean, it gave purpose to Dan being up and at night, all night with pain. He was able to be rocking babies and experiencing all those sweet moments when he was up anyways. And it took his mind off of the pain and gave it, like, it replaced it with something just so beautiful. And, I mean, that's just the start of the blessings that they've been to our family. But.
- [36:48]
Ed Mylett
Whoa, you're telling me that one of the blessings of having these babies is it gave him something to do with his chronic pain at night when he was up in excruciating pain, was rocking his babies. That's what you're telling me?
- [36:59]
Dan Cotter
Yeah, absolutely.
- [37:00]
Ed Mylett
Oh, my goodness. Okay, you guys are. I'm gonna start crying. So, okay, what do you kids think of all this? Is this just normal to them?
- [37:08]
Andrea Cotter
We have mixed views amongst our kids. Some of them aren't excited about it because they don't like attention, and some of them are good with it. But I've tried to be very, very careful with my family. If you'll notice in our videos, like, anytime our kids are in it, I make sure that they're with us and they're in our arms and they're close to us, and I am very careful about what they look like. And with our older kids, I ask their permission. If they're ever in anything, I ask their permission first. And it's a big Responsibility, I think, to make sure to keep your family safe. And there's. There's been some times where I've doubted whether or not it's actually the right move to be putting our family out there as much as we do. It's kind of scary, especially with the different horrible things that happen online and pedophilia and all, you know, all the horrible things that. It's just scary sometimes. But I. I think there's. I don't want to dim our light because of my fear of the evil that's out there. I want to put good into the world, and I've had a battle with it. It's been a struggle as a mom.
- [38:15]
Dan Cotter
It is, yeah.
- [38:16]
Andrea Cotter
But ultimately it's like, I do not want the evil people to dim the light. I want to put positive out there and I want to be that source. And like Dan was saying, like, even if there was only one person that had written us and said that their life was changed by our content, like, that would be worth all the work that we've put into it, but there's not. We have thousands of people, and it's so overwhelming in a really positive way.
- [38:44]
Ed Mylett
But, yeah, well, I'm one of them. I wrote you. I wrote you. I said, hey, you're inspiring me. When you have a situation, like, you have six kids and obviously day to day, things that aren't as easy as some people have it, right. Do you live day to day or do you have, like, goals and plans as a family, you know, for the year or the five years? Or is it just like day to day? We're just trying to be good people, put out a good message, live our lives. Like, how do you two think?
- [39:14]
Dan Cotter
I think we are goal oriented. Like, I think we have to look way down the road a year, three years, five years, like, that's what keeps you going, like, all the way to. To eternity, you know, I mean, that's why, you know, our relationship has been strengthening as we, like, work together. And we definitely have goals and, and things to shoot for, whether it's, hey, let's. We want to go on a family vacation, like, what do we need to do to make this happen? And. And then we're always thinking of, you know, the next thing with our, you know, even with our social media, like, got to do this and then get our office. And, you know, we're always like, have. We have almost too many things ahead.
- [39:51]
Andrea Cotter
Yeah. Any aspirations?
- [39:53]
Dan Cotter
Yeah.
- [39:54]
Andrea Cotter
My. My answer would be completely different than that. I would say sometimes we live like hour to hour I feel like we're just taking it a day at a time. We do have lots of things that we aspire to, but our to do list is so long, and we have so many things to take care of in the house and everything else. We really take it a day at a time because tomorrow we could be in the hospital again.
- [40:15]
Dan Cotter
Yeah.
- [40:16]
Andrea Cotter
And so I. I really have learned over the last couple years, especially last year, Dan had a scare that I thought we were going to lose him for sure. I was the. I thought for sure. For sure we were going to lose him. And I was pleading with God, like, please, like, let him come back, and I promise, like, I'll be better. I haven't lived up to that as much as I should.
- [40:43]
Ed Mylett
You guys are kind of overly humble, but okay.
- [40:45]
Andrea Cotter
Because we've had, like, scares. Health scares. Been so close to losing him and everything else. Like, I really have tried to, like, take it a day at a time and just be thankful for what we have. Like, I'm. Yesterday I was working in the yard all day. I have ms, and usually I can't be out in the heat, and I get fatigued and everything else. I worked in the yard for, like, eight hours yesterday doing yard work, and I was so thankful, like, the whole time. I'm like, I'm so thankful that I have the energy to be out here right now. Like.
- [41:20]
Dan Cotter
Like, wait a minute. Did you just say.
- [41:22]
Ed Mylett
Did you say you have ms?
- [41:24]
Andrea Cotter
Yes.
- [41:27]
Dan Cotter
Yeah. Yeah. Just sort of.
- [41:28]
Ed Mylett
You just sort of, like, slide that in there.
- [41:30]
Dan Cotter
Like.
- [41:32]
Ed Mylett
You know what's. So. I'm g. Tell you. You're odd. You're odd because, like, you truly don't think there's anything remarkable about the two of you yet. Like, this dude's almost died several times. Right? He's in a wheelchair. You have Ms. You got a hundred kids. You add two IVF babies to the. And yet, like, you do have this pressure. I know what you're talking about. Of. I don't want to make the kids public. Should we put our family out there? But someone just didn't take their own life because we have it. And someone else just started a business because of it. And someone else went back to church because of it. And these. This couple's gonna stay married because of it. You are remarkable. Like, just accept it. It's crazy what you're doing. You have Ms. On top of everything. Like, you just throw that in towards the end of the interview.
- [42:23]
Andrea Cotter
Yeah, sorry.
- [42:25]
Ed Mylett
My gosh, there's. It's hard when you have somebody on who, like, Just really is unique and doesn't know it is getting them to embrace it themselves. And I love the fact that you're, you know, you're in touch with all the things that you're not great at. But I have to like, one of the things that struck me was okay, they've got this blended family. It's not just blended, it's also blended lifestyles too. By the way, you guys have to go to their social to see Dan's work. It's just unreal what this dude creates beautiful work. So. Hey guys. You may notice I've been standing a lot more during the podcast and one of the reasons that I'm doing that, thank God, is uplift desks. I've got one right here with me right now. Know your daily work routine can really make you fatigued and that's because you're sitting the whole time. With an uplift desk, you can stand more often. Also, you're going to bring better energy to the work you have when you're standing rather than sitting all the time. And I didn't realize how much sitting all day was hurting my back and just dragging my energy down, dragging me down physically and mentally. So great work starts with a great workplace. Your workday does not have to make you feel all worn out. Just go to uplift desk.com ed and use our code ED to get your free accessories, free same day shipping, free returns and an industry leading 15 year warranty that covers your entire desk plus an extra discount off your entire order. That's uplift desk.com that's up L I F T D S K.com ED for this exclusive offer. It's only available through our link. Let me ask you a last question. This is just, it's going to open it to you. By the way, it's been an extraordinary time to get to know the two of you. You're more special than you think you are. Just so you know, I accept that you aren't perfect people and that you're very in touch with your imperfections, which is probably why I like you so much. But I'm not as big a stud as you, Dan, and. Or as a student as you are, Andrea. And I mean that. Like you, you really inspire me. You do. Okay. And I, I want you to just take that because you've earned it. Every day of your life in the good and the bad times, you've earned it. And your vulnerability and your honesty in this interview, if someone was manning the camera, let's just say behind you, right now and the interview was over, and they go, man, that was incredible. I'm going through a really hard time right now. Is there any advice you could give me? I'm just curious at what each of you might say to that person if they're just really at a point in their life where they're hurting, what you might say to them, what words of encouragement or words of advice you would give them.
- [44:52]
Andrea Cotter
Honestly, I would say to get on your knees, connecting to God is the only thing that can make you feel the peace that's not of this world, that's bigger than the problems, that's bigger than the trials, it's bigger than the heartache, the depression, the grieving. Like, the peace from God is bigger than all that. So if I'm being honest, that's the only answer I could give.
- [45:15]
Ed Mylett
I love that.
- [45:16]
Dan Cotter
Everything else just comes second to it. No matter what that person would be trying to say, they're going or going through it or experiencing. It's just. That's going to be your backbone, your new strength. Like, work from there out. And things are gonna. Things are gonna line up. Like, things will just. I mean, it's not easy. I think it's just not gonna happen overnight. It's a, you know, a real struggle and a real work. Nothing's just handed to you, that's for sure. And I know that that's where my new backbone came from. So I tell them to find a woman like I did. I think behind anybody that's successful as a man, like, they've got some. A woman that's behind them that's charting it up. And, like, is the brains and the. The. The spirit behind a lot of it. Like, through history, through different people that, that I've listened or studied or understood. It's. There's always that amazing woman that's just in the. In the background that doesn't get all the. The credit, but it's like she's the reason why you're succeeding. You know, she's been such a blessing to everybody, and it's just really.
- [46:30]
Ed Mylett
I love watching the big guy get all emotional here. This is cool. I like watching that. That's good.
- [46:35]
Dan Cotter
I don't know what you're talking. It's these lights in here.
- [46:37]
Ed Mylett
Is it the lights? I don't think it's the lights. Nice try. First off, thank you. Second off, I wish continued blessings to your family. And, you know, when you have times where you're doubting whether you should be doing what you're doing, I. I just want you to reflect on today. You just know. I. I believe you should be. And there'll be some negative that comes with being on social media. There'll be some lack of privacy. But the net return in human beings because people matter and things don't. As I know the two of you know more than I do. You're making a serious difference in people's lives. And it's not just with your words. It's with your actions and your deeds. And I. I love the fact that you talk about the fact that not everything's perfect all the time. It makes it real. It's not some Lifetime movie that you're living. You're living an actual life. Very, very inspired by you. Everyone should go where the Wheelchair dad on social media.
- [47:30]
Andrea Cotter
Yes. If you go to the wheelchair dad.com we have links to all of our socials. But yeah, our handle is at the Wheelchair dad on everything.
- [47:38]
Dan Cotter
And then Andrea has one that's at Mrs. Cotter now too. But with it that it's like her in her perspective on stuff too. As as much started.
- [47:50]
Ed Mylett
I've seen it. I saw it today. It's a great idea. All right, you guys, just so you know, people like this exist in the world. And so when you see all the bad, all the strife, all the victims, all the blaming, all the fighting, all the dissension in the world, just know that quietly, every single day, there are these two people and their precious six children just trying to live a better life, just trying to make a difference in the world, just trying to be good people. And they have ups and downs just like you do. But when you. When you start to think there's not great people left in the world, just know that the Cotters exist. And you could find them every single day on social media idea to just breathe some life into your soul. And that's what they do for me. Thanks, you guys. It was awesome today.
- [48:34]
Andrea Cotter
Thank you so much.
- [48:35]
Dan Cotter
Thank you, Ed. Appreciate it.
- [48:36]
Ed Mylett
What a great conversation. God bless you, everybody.
- [48:42]
Dan Cotter
This is the Eden Milan show.