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- [00:00]
Ed Mylett
I got to tell you, I've been taking IM8 for a while and I've been feeling great. And then life got busy. I skipped some days, actually, then I skipped a week. My energy dropped, my focus was gone and reminded me just how much im8 had been helping me. It's a daily essentials drink that brings together 92 really high quality nutrients plus clinical doses of CoQ10 and MSM. You can get everything you need, really with IM8. So give your body what it deserves with IM8. Go to IM8Health Health.com ED and use code ED for a free welcome kit and five free travel sachets plus 10% off your order. Seriously, this is one of those offers you'll wish you jumped on sooner. That's im8health.com ED and use the code ED for a free welcome kit. Five free travel sachets plus 10% off your order. Imaidhealth.com ED code ED these statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. So there's an outfit that you keep reaching for, the one that's kind of soft enough to sleep in, put together enough to answer the door, and then somehow it's right for everything in between. Let me just tell you what I just described. I just described Cozy Earth. Cozy Earth jogger sets, by the way, are made from this viscose thing from bamboo. It's lightweight, breathable, and the kind of soft it actually gets better the more you wear it. It's a tapered fit with a relaxed waistband. Just enough structure feel intentional, you can drink morning coffee with it, run afternoon errands, and even have a evening wind down. It's kind of a multi dimensional, multifaceted, inexpensive, humpy clothing wear. This isn't fast fashion for the house. It's something you'll be reaching for for years from now. Try it yourself. Cozy Earth backs everything with a 100 night trial because they're confident you'll feel the difference. And if you don't, return it. It's that simple. This spring, give yourself the kind of comfort that lives with you all day. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code mylet for an exclusive 20% off. And if you see a post purchase survey mention you heard about Cozy Cozy Earth right here on the Ed Mylett Show. Cozy Earth comfort lives here.
- [02:04]
Ken Rideout
This is the Ed Milet Show.
- [02:07]
Ed Mylett
All right, welcome back to the show, everybody. So I got to tell you something. My son sent me this man's book and his story. And I instantly, I knew I had seen him before. I said, I want him on the show. He's like a Renaissance man. His story's bananas. So today is going to be a ride, you guys. And I have to tell you something. Picture this. We're both Boston boys. When we were little boys, both grew up with a lot around, a lot of dysfunction. I thought I saw like kind of a brother in him.
- [02:30]
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
- [02:31]
Ed Mylett
Kind of drugs and alcohol everywhere in his family. And then he's got this crazy life. Like he becomes this kind of Wall street trader guy, Caner Fitzgerald. Then he's. Then he becomes an opiate addict. Right. So there's that part of the story. Then he starts doing like marathons and ultramarathons. This guy's the fastest dude in the world. Over 50 years old, running marathons. He's completed the GOBI March is 155 mile crazy race. And then he's like connected all over the world.
- [02:57]
Ken Rideout
Not just completed. I won it.
- [02:58]
Ed Mylett
Well, he won it. Let me thank you. Not he did. He completed. He won it. And well, we were talking about this off camera too, about how he did that. So today it's going to be interesting if you kind of want to remake your life a little bit later. He's remade his life multiple times. So this is for you. If you overcoming some sort of thing in your life that's holding you back, it's for you. And if you're young and you want advice from someone who's lived a full, complete life in his early 50s. Ken, write out your guy. His book is the Other side of Hard. And this can be a great conversation. Welcome to the show.
- [03:27]
Ken Rideout
Thanks for having me. I appreciate it.
- [03:28]
Ed Mylett
Yeah, well, make sure you do. Give you credit. You did win the race. Let's make sure that we do that.
- [03:32]
Ken Rideout
I'm teasing you.
- [03:33]
Ed Mylett
No, no, it's awesome. So I got to. I have like, I don't do this in most interviews. I have probably like 60 questions and we're probably only going to get to about 10 of them because there's so many different things I could ask you, but I want to. The first thing is this. Like when I think of you, I think of like, all right, probably mental toughness is probably the first thing that I think of. How does somebody know, like they're talking about this hard thing. How does somebody know I should quit or I should keep going, like in a race, in life after a business, because not all quitting is bad. So I kind of want to go the antithesis of what's in the book. Someone's listening today. They're thinking of quitting a relationship, quitting a business. How do you know what's quitting and what is pushing through? What's hard?
- [04:11]
Ken Rideout
Great question. And to summarize, I would say don't quit. I mean, there is a difference between quitting and knowing when to throw in the towel. When you're, like, losing in business or a relationship in particular, right? You're in a relationship. Like, you should know, like, all right, but there's a difference between having some intelligence and pushing through and persevering when things are hard. Because nothing in your life that you'll. That's worth attaining is going to be easy. None of the success you've had has. Has been easy. It's not easy being in shape. It's one of the things that's nice about showing up in shape. Like, we were just talking about when you walk in and they're like, okay, this guy's in shape. They know about 10 things about me already that at least I have grit, determination, delayed gratification, and all the things that go with it. But I can tell you that when you quit, when you know when you're quitting, and I can tell you from experience, when you quit, the sting of quitting will last with you for the rest of your life. The first time I qualified for the Ironman in Hawaii, NBC Sports, it was so hard to qualify. Only 2000 people out of hundreds of thousands try to qualify. And it's the best of the best and everyone's good. And I got there and I was so happy just to be there. For me, at 40 years old, it was like qualifying for the Olympics. Sure, but you're qualifying in your age group, so it's all relative. And I get there and it just got hard. When I got off the bike, I got onto the run, it was hard, and I just quit like a dead dog. Loser. My wife was standing there recording the minute I quit, she's recording. Yay. Go. And I'm like, cut. I'm like, I can't do it. I'm too tired. And she was literally like, what are you crazy?
- [05:44]
Ed Mylett
Really?
- [05:45]
Ken Rideout
Just keep walking. And I was like. I was. Part of me was embarrassed I wasn't doing well. So in my mind, again, this is where you need mental toughness. My mind was telling me, it's okay, you're not going to win. Like, come back again another time. But meanwhile, my wife has, like, put up with all my selfish training for years. She's like, this is it. After this. You did it. You reached your goal. We're done with this. So I also knew this was probably the last chance she would let me go back and do it again because of the disaster that I created for myself. But that sting of quitting on that day in Hawaii, I. I get emotional. Think about it now. I'm so ashamed of myself. My wife would say, who are you embarrassed in front of myself. And the only opinion of me that matters and that should matter is my own. Because if I don't think highly of myself, why would my wife think highly of me and respect me? And I really. It's. Some of this stuff sounds corny and cliche. I get it. But if you don't think highly of yourself, trust me, no one else will either.
- [06:39]
Ed Mylett
Yeah.
- [06:39]
Ken Rideout
You have to be your own biggest advocate.
- [06:40]
Ed Mylett
Let me ask you that, by the way, it's not corny from you. Here's why. Because you've actually done crazy things in your life. I'm being serious. Like, there's a lot of people online or that have books that they say maybe I'm even one of them. Say a bunch of motivational stuff or whatever. But, like, you've lived this. Like, I'm picturing you in the 143rd mile in this Gobi Challenge. I'm picturing this. Right? Like, I'm picturing you trying to overcome this addiction. I'm picturing you or several of your friends are blown up in the World Trade center on 9 11. Like your life's bananas. So let's stay on this thing about. Because I'm a big believer most of your life, you're gonna get what you believe you're worth and you deserve this identity thing. And you talk a lot about identity in the book. And you and I both come from an upbringing. In fact, I'm talking to you today. I think it's a blessing today as we're recording. This is actually. Would have been my dad's birthday. And he was a central person in my life of, you know, there was addiction there, as you know, and some other stuff. But I. I think it's hard for people when you weren't raised being poured into. You're great. I love you. You're incredible. You can do it, or you don't come from winners. So most people listening to this or watching it relate to that to some degree. What you and I grew up with a little bit. And you somehow powered through this where you were not only in his upbringing. If you read this book you guys, not only was it not successful, it was, they were pounding into you the reverse that you were great most of the time and doing harm to you. Even your mom, you know, many times, God bless her, but even your mom. How does somebody begin to. This is a hard question. I'm giving you all the hard stuff today. Since it's title book. How does someone start to change their identity? They're listening or watching. Like, I don't feel good about me.
- [08:17]
Ken Rideout
Yeah. Well, I will say from my earliest childhood memory, I didn't feel like I belonged in this like house of horrors that I was living in. Right. I was constantly. They beat the out of me all the time. There were always people doing drugs, fighting, it was violent, it was anxiety ridden. Because even as a kid I remember thinking like, how am I related to these people? I'm not supposed to be here. And it's crazy. Like if someone believed in reincarnation, they'd be like, oh yeah, he's reincarnated, came from a normal situation and now he's dealing with this. So growing up, I always knew the right thing to do. Like I didn't have any rules. I could come and go as I please. Like my parents weren't like, get in before the lights come down. Like I could stay out all night and do whatever I wanted. But I never did those things. I was like a good kid. I got along with the principal of the school. Like I was the quarterback of the high school football team. I just instinctively wanted a better life for myself. And I was like pretty happy with myself and not arrogant, but I was confident. And as you've seen in the book, then I get into New York and we'll get to it and I get addicted to drugs. And all of those positive things that I thought about myself were like stripped away. And I was like really had a negative self opinion of myself to the point where I would ideate on suicide, where my addiction was so bad I was like, if I don't get sober, I'm not living like this anymore because I'm not a loser, but my behavior is that of a loser. And to your point about the book about giving advice, right. My book isn't a how to. I'm not telling people do this, do that. I matter of fact I say to a lot of people, don't do what I did. Like I was a drug addict. I thought money was the answer. I got rich and then became addicted to drugs because it didn't fill the voids that were really there that needed to be Dealt with that I also talk about when I go to on site trauma healing center. But what I try to demonstrate in the book is like, hey, here's the. Here's the things that I've. Here are all the mistakes I've made. Some of them self induced and. Or some of the trauma that's happened to me self induced and here's how I fixed it. And basically the only through line in this whole book is my mindset and believing that I could do the things I wanted to do. You see me, I'm the most average person in the world. I'm 5 10, 170 pounds. I don't have any natural gifts. I wasn't getting Division 1 scholarships. I was like a decent athlete. But as I got older and started to emerge from the addiction, I realized that effort counts for so much more than everything else. If you get a guy who's willing to die to win. And it took a while to get there. And I know it can sound like hyperbole. Die to win? Yeah. Like there's times in the race where I'm like, if I die, I don't think I'm gonna die, but I'm not gonna give up because I know what that feels like. And that sucked. And I'd rather be dead than feel like a quitter and a loser. So I'm just gonna keep pushing. And it became a mantra. And the crazy thing is it worked.
- [11:06]
Ed Mylett
It works.
- [11:07]
Ken Rideout
It worked. I won a marathon the day before I turned 50. The whole thing, not just my age group.
- [11:12]
Ed Mylett
Geez. When you walked in. I don't say this a lot in interviews. I really feel like I was meeting, not joking. I kind of like a brother. We're about the same size, we come from about the same place, our upbringings similar. Right. And yet things have turned out. And I think success leaves clues. There's this great Chinese proverb that says, if you want to know the road ahead, ask those coming back. And you and I both. I don't feel like I'm coming back yet, but you know what I mean.
- [11:40]
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
- [11:41]
Ed Mylett
And I think you have something. I just want to like, cut the crap. Like, I want to get to something that, you know is true about you. I know is true. And I'm wondering if someone can develop it or they're born with it. Here's what it is. You, since you were a little boy, when I'm reading this book, you wanted to be somebody all your life, like inside you. I want to be somebody. I want to be great. I want to do Something awesome with my life. I'm not like these people around me.
- [12:03]
Ken Rideout
Right?
- [12:03]
Ed Mylett
You got that dog in you, right? Can that be developed or do you and I have that? You know what I mean, right?
- [12:12]
Ken Rideout
I think you can develop it. An example I use is we were talking earlier about fear. And I was watching. My middle son was playing baseball. Every time the pitcher threw the ball, he would step out of the batter's box like he was scared. So I said to him at the game, I go, buddy, if you have to stay in the box, it looks like you're scared. And he goes, I am. And it made me realize, like I used to be, that I was scared. When I played football, I was a quarterback. I didn't want to get tackled. At some point, though, in high school, while I was playing football, I was getting creamed on every tackle and drill we would do, and I was running the ball and the coach finally said to me, hey, numbnuts, are you just going to take hits on everything or are you going to run like you mean it? And whatever clicked to me the next time I ran the ball, like, I'm going to run this guy over. And when I felt what that did for my confidence, yeah, it hurt, all those things. But, like, I would tell him, if you're going to get hit in football, it's going to hurt anyway. Why not deliver the hit and control the fear and harness it for yourself? I know it's not going to be easy. I know a lot of the things that I'm saying are easier set said than done, but they have been done and I did them. But to your question, I was scared all the time as a kid. I talk about in the book, going to the Somerville Boxing Club, which, by the way, isn't like the local Taebo class and box aerobics. The heavyweight champion of the world was training in there. It was a boxing gym in its rawest, purest form, Intimidating. No one was. No one was like, oh, buddy, come on in. It's 20 bucks a month. They were like, can you afford to pay? Because if you couldn't afford to pay, it was free. And I went in there scared shitless and just kept going, every day, sparring, getting better. The fear never went away. But what I did is, like I said earlier, I just got comfortable with, like, okay, I'm fighting this guy. There's no sense being scared. I'm gonna get punched in the face no matter what. You're in a fight, you're gonna get hit, and in life, you're gonna get Hit. You're gonna get kicked in the ass. I was just telling you all of the things that I've accomplished. And by the way, when you're rattling off the things I've done, like, I can't believe I did them, I did that, there's still part of me that's like, I'm a drug addicted loser. I did these things. But through all those things, you come out and I'm like, wow, I did this. The book's coming out. The book was like a few months out. All the work was done. And my wife gets diagnosed with cancer. And I would have given. I would have taken terminal cancer, given away every single thing I have to make my wife healthy in that moment. Thank God it was stage one. She's all good. She just had her last surgery this week. But the point is, a rich man has a million problems and a sick man has one. And the hard things in life never stop. So if you don't have resilience and the mindset that people like yourself have, you're gonna get chopped up. It never gets easy. You could be like, I sold my company for a billion dollars. Now what? Okay, let someone get cancer and see how much the money makes you feel better.
- [15:01]
Ed Mylett
This is such a blessed confo, I have to tell you. So I do the podcast a lot. Like, I kind of just let people listen to me having a conversation. It's not so much of an interview. So I just got to tell you how right you are. And then I can't wait to start asking you about the opioids and the races too. Like, how do you win 155 mile race? How are you the fastest dude in the world? Over 50 in marathons. But last week I was back in Boston.
- [15:23]
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
- [15:24]
Ed Mylett
Actually, I tell you this, back in Boston, and I just had a day that was like, not a good one. Like, bunch of business stuff happen. A thing I thought was closing an exit didn't come through and isn't going to happen. And just. Horrendous day.
- [15:38]
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
- [15:38]
Ed Mylett
And I'm like, this is hard. Like, and even at my age, I'm like, what am I doing? And I'm. I'm in this hotel that I'm in. This is no joke. I'm in the middle of this. Like, this is really hard. I'm feeling bad for myself. I'm not exaggerating this, brother. I look out the window, swear to you this is true. And this little girl's walking up the steps into the hotel and in, like, kind of her pajamas, she's probably 7, 8 years old, and almost all of her hair had fallen out, and her mother was walking behind her. And so I looked down at the little girl, and she had clearly, like, a medical bracelet on. This little child, say, seven years old, clearly was fighting some form of cancer. And I thought, you idiot, this is hard compared to what? But out of the way, not only just being that child, but even being the parent of that child. So whatever you're going through, it's like, you know, compared to what? Right? Like, compared to what? And so it just really struck me that that was so profound what you just said, man. Like, it's just pause in life and get perspective.
- [16:38]
Ken Rideout
That's one of the challenges of being a dad, man. You're only as happy as the saddest or sickest child. Very difficult. Very difficult, man. When my kids are struggling. I have. I have an adopted daughter. She's 15. She's Ethiopian. She struggles sometimes with being different, right, because it's predominantly white, but we have some awesome black families in the neighborhood that are just incredible in. In Nashville. But it is very hard when she's. And she's not, like, coming to, you know, she's a teenager. She's not gonna be like, hey, dad, listen to what's going on. But I can kind of decipher. And, man, when she's. When she's struggling, I'm struggling, then I'll tell my wife, like, I want to go down there and smash everyone. And she's like, are you crazy?
- [17:13]
Ed Mylett
That makes you a good dad, by the way. There's a bunch of dads who aren't even there and don't care. So that's a credit to you. All right, so I got to tell you, when we started this podcast, we were totally lost. We had no idea what we were doing. You know, starting a new business can be intimidating. And we didn't know how to do anything. We didn't know how to do. Move merch, how to post online, how to write, copyright, do anything. I recommend you do what I've done and what millions of other businesses done and use the tool of Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world. About 10% of all E commerce Shopify is involved with that is staggering. They can accelerate your efficiency by uploading new products on there. They can try to exist new ones. They can help you with photography. They can help you with AI tools that write descriptions, page headlines. They basically do everything. So start your business today with the industry's best business partner, Shopify and start hearing. Sign up for a $1 per month trial today at shopify.com mylet go to shopify.com mylet that's shopify.com mylet so I was just doing a podcast the other day and my guest complimented me on my blue shirt and I said, well, guess what, that's Quint's brother. He said, what's quince? And then I told him what I'm about to tell you, which is number one. I said, hey, summer's changing and so I want pieces that feel lighter and more breathable. And that's easy, but it's not easy if you can't pull it together. So that's why I keep coming back to quints. Think like breathable linen and soft organic cotton, but they've got all kinds of stuff, well made basics without the luxury markup. And there's a rare balance where everything feels elevated but still effortless and it's affordable. Quint's European linen pants and shirts are the perfect warm weather upgrade to add to your rotation. Listen to this. Starting at $34, their tees are soft and easy to wear. Had one on the podcast yesterday. So elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quint.comed for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q U I n c e.com ed for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com ed so let's go, let's go into the a little bit of the story because I think people are going to be moved. So you end up, he's just a scrapper, you guys. He ends up playing college sports. He's not the biggest dude in the world. He's got success, matriculates over to becoming in the kind of the trading world, the financial world. Now he's doing really well. There's. So he's found a way to win because that's what winners do, right? He finds a way. And I think a lot of times in life you think, okay, I'm listening all these podcasts. I don't come from a great family, I'm not successful. And then you convince yourself you are, right? And then all of a sudden someone will relate to this. Today you have a setback or you start behaving like where you came from and you're like, ah, I was just faking it for that little window. But I really am who I grew up with. And so all of a sudden you kind of start to become who you Grew up with a little bit in the sense that now you're drug addicted, now you're doing opioids. How did that affect you? And then how did you break through it?
- [20:14]
Ken Rideout
Yeah, I mean, it destroyed me. It destroyed everything that I thought and believed about myself. It crept up on me. I was taking the pills every, you know, a couple times a week, then quickly, like every night. And then I was, like, so hung up feeling in the morning from taking drugs the night before that I'd take them in the morning. Once I realized that they would give me a little pickup, pick me up in the morning. Then I was taking them in morning lunch and after work. I would. But I would always exercise. And I always treated the drugs as like a reward in this, like, crazy system that I had in my brain. But even when I got my first job in finance, like I talk about in the book, the. The guys are, like, kind of hazing me a little, which was crazy to me. At times they're, like, screaming at me, right this. You know, I'm writing the prices on the whiteboard as they're shouting them. Before, electronic trading seemed like 96, and one of the guys throws a dry eraser at me, and I just slapped him across the face. And they fired me. And I was like, oh, I couldn't control myself. I let my emotions get the better of me. But when that happened, some of the traders at Enron, which was the behemoth in the market, the guy was like the Gordon Gekko, the head of trading there, he was the biggest commodities trader. He heard the story, loved it, and like two days later, I had a job making twice as much money. And now I had. He's my client. So that's when my career just went through the roof. Like, I went from making 40 grand when I slapped the guy to 80 grand the next week, which to me was a million. And then within a year, I was making a million dollars. Just drunk sailor. And, I mean, I was flying on the Concorde back and forth to London for Canada. I ran all of European and Asian commodity sales and trading, which in that business, on a trading desk, we were inter dealer brokers. So we were brokering trades between banks and utilities. So you can make a lot of money, but you're on the bottom of the totem pole in terms of Wall street prestige. So in my mind, and this is how I've, like, kind of done my career, Everything in my career and racing, I'd always look, what's the next level up? Like, what do I have to do to get to the next level, because this is a good job, but this isn't a good career if I lose two clients. No one's giving you another client. And there's only so many traders. So at the anxiety of dealing with that pressure and the anxiety of thinking, oh, my God, I'm making so much money. What if I lose this money? And the anxiety of having it and losing it was a thousand times worse than never having it, because I never had. I didn't know what it was like to just spend money and not think about it. And I had an ankle surgery in New York when I was around 30. And from 30 to 40, I basically, once I took those drugs, I was like, no more anxiety, no more imposter syndrome for fraud complex. I was just confident, really.
- [22:56]
Ed Mylett
And so you attribute it to the drugs?
- [22:58]
Ken Rideout
Yeah, well, the drugs gave me this false sense of security. They made me think that I had all the charisma in the world. And to a certain extent, maybe people thought it was. I mean, I was irrational and crazy, but in my. But it wasn't me. And I. I had to live with this. So I would push that down of like, you're a loser. No, no, no, I'm okay. I'm making money. It's. It's good. I'm just like you were saying, I was faking my way through. And I kept feeling like they're going to eventually figure out that I'm an idiot and fire me or I'm going to get run out of this job. I really believe that subconsciously. And it took probably until I was in my late 40s where I would say to my wife, I'd get a deal done or something good would happen financially or professionally. I'd be like, yes. I'm like, oh, God. And I could never get a deal done like that again. She and I go, I got to make this money last. And she's like, since I've known you, every time you get something good done, you think it's lucky. If you win a race, you think you will know. All the competitors that showed up stink. There was always a reason. She's like, at some point, you should believe that, like, you actually have some acumen to do these things. And recently I've started to accept same here. Okay, maybe I'm okay at this, but I think, to you, I think, though, for people like you and I really believe this, it's a blessing and a curse. We can't really enjoy it as much as we should. We don't get to Walk around like narcissistic idiots, like, dude, I'm the best. Look at what I did. Because if we did, we wouldn't be grinding as hard. And I don't want to speak for you, but like, I have no natural skills. I have no marketable skills. I just have what you're sitting right here, hustle, grind, attitude. So I can't hold myself in that heart of God. But it's a curse in that I don't get to really enjoy it as much as I do. But I can't have one without the other.
- [24:39]
Ed Mylett
I know, I know. I think about this a lot because I feel often to this day, which would surprise people in my audience, but I'm open about it. Like I'm still fluking it and then I could lose it tomorrow. But I've asked a lot. I've had Sebastian Mascal once become a good buddy of mine. Comedian say, hey man, are you afraid you're going to lose this?
- [24:56]
Ken Rideout
Yeah, all the time.
- [24:58]
Ed Mylett
And I think that that's a sense of humility. He's confident that he's a great stand up and a great actor, but he's humble enough to know that this could go away. Yeah, I've seen more people flame out after short term success than people could imagine.
- [25:12]
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
- [25:12]
Ed Mylett
I mean, even in sales guys that will close a bunch of sales and then they three weeks in Cabo, I'm
- [25:15]
Ken Rideout
like, what are you doing?
- [25:16]
Ed Mylett
Do you agree with me? You know, or win a race and then not train for six months.
- [25:20]
Ken Rideout
Well, it's like when you see someone who sells their company for 100mil, 200mil and then they're building something even more difficult. And you know, and I know people that be like, if I had that money, I dropped social media, I'd move over here. But you're not going to make that money because you don't have that mindset.
- [25:33]
Ed Mylett
You don't have that you don't get.
- [25:34]
Ken Rideout
It's very rare that you get one without the other.
- [25:36]
Ed Mylett
Do you? Off the record. Well, on the record, but off the. Not on my questions. When you see a guy like. Because as we're recording, this tiger just went through through something and it's probably pretty clear that he's developed some sort of. I mean, I hate to speak out of school, but I think he's addicted. Right.
- [25:54]
Ken Rideout
See the pictures of him.
- [25:55]
Ed Mylett
Right. He's certainly. And by the way, there's a part of me that has some empathy coming from a family of addiction, knowing, hey, this dude's had 150,000 back and knee surgeries. And these things do feel good for some people when they take them. And so, you know, he may have sort of just developed this for pain in the beginning. So I have empathy for him. At the same time, sure, he's in
- [26:13]
Ken Rideout
a ton of pain.
- [26:14]
Ed Mylett
But if you. If someone was listening to this and they've developed some sort of an addiction in their life, their addiction could be worry. Their addiction could be drugs, porn. It could be gambling, it could be alcohol. It could be their addiction to not believing in themselves, whatever it is. But if Tiger walked in here, right, and everybody else, what would you say to them about breaking that cycle of addiction?
- [26:34]
Ken Rideout
Yeah, I would say to any. Well, I would say to anyone who thinks they're gonna help him. Like, there's only one person that's helping Tiger. That's him. But it has to come from within you. You know, it's a. It's a. It's a recovery saying. But you have just get sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. He's got a bad deal in that. He's got a lot of injuries. But for what it's worth, he can't. He's obviously abusing drugs, but I'm sure he's telling himself he needs them. But I think that he's not as deep in a hole as others would think. Like, if you're walking around with two single pills in your pocket, like, that isn't like, an addiction, that you're like, oh, my God, like, if he had 50 fentanyl pills, I'd be like, yeah, he's deep in this. But two pills, like, I mean, that's. That for a drug addict, that ain't gonna move the needle.
- [27:17]
Ed Mylett
But you don't how many he took, right, that were in the pocket before that.
- [27:20]
Ken Rideout
Right. But if he took eight and he had 10, he would have taken them all. Okay, so that's what I'm thinking, is that if he's carrying around two, he probably thinks two will offer some relief. It might not be that deep. Okay. And it can be fixed. But there's. There's only one way to do this, and that's to walk through the fire, or you're just gonna keep burning slowly. It's. Getting sober was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Nothing in the book even comes close, including my childhood, to dealing with that addiction. Your brain is so conditioned to want and need this that you can't fathom a life without it. But it's like. It's. It's like the Goby march race or any other difficult challenge. You just have to start the journey. It's like if you see someone overweight and they start to see a little bit of progress, they can gain momentum. It starts to get a little bit easier. The ball's rolling downhill. It's the same thing with recovery. Just get one day of sobriety. Don't worry about the next day.
- [28:10]
Ed Mylett
Yep.
- [28:11]
Ken Rideout
Because you get one and then you're like, ah, I did one. I bet you I can get another one. And it's like anything in life, you have to build some confidence in yourself. But the first rep, the first step is always so hard.
- [28:22]
Ed Mylett
Yep. By the way, my audience, because they know my work, is going to say, that's the power of one more day, one decision, one day at a time. I think a lot of times people think like, oh, success is this huge mountain I got to climb. No, but I've had enough people. And that's why I want to listen. Why are you here today? One, once I read your story, I was like, oh my gosh. Right? Like with your upbringing and the opioid addiction and you were a traitor and this and that. But the re. The reason you were here is where we're going to go now. For me, I'm like, okay, this dude is a world class athlete. Right. And it developed late in life. You were a good athlete. You're five, ten, you played college sports, but there's, there's nothing about you that would say, this dude's gonna be running mega ultra marathons. 150 miles, and he's gonna be the fastest dude in the world. Yeah. Like, so everyone's buckle in here now because you don't know at what point in your life you become great at something finally, like, great. Like, you're a good athlete, really good athlete. You're very good in business, but there were better business dudes, guys making more money. But at this, you found something. You're like, this is my jam. What's crazy is I can't find any evidence in the book that there was a lot of preparation physically for this.
- [29:34]
Ken Rideout
No.
- [29:34]
Ed Mylett
So how do you start? Let's start. How does a dude go? Yeah, I'm gonna start running marathons. Like, what happened?
- [29:40]
Ken Rideout
I didn't. I was like, I'm gonna get sober and I'm going to like, run every single day to get these drugs out of my system, even though I want to die. I mean, I was running and sweating and freezing and like, I'd go through a hundred different, like, ecosystems. Although I'M running in Central Park, I'd feel like I've run on the top of a mountain down in Death Valley. Like my body was just in chaos mode. So part of it was penance, like I'm gonna run until I die. And I just wanted to get away from the pain and the. And there was part of me that was like, I'm running because when I'm running for 90 minutes at least a day, I'm not thinking about getting high, I'm thinking about one thing, getting this over with. When people like, did you get a runner's high? I'm like, yeah, every single time. As soon as I stopped I was like, yes, I did it. But I didn't have any designs on winning anything. I was like, I'm just going to run and get sober. And then I started to enter some races because nothing keeps you honest like a competition, just races in Central park, there's races every weekend for people in New York. It's the best place to be a runner in the world because you, they have everything you need. And I would just enter racing. I mean, dude, if I was in the top 20 in my age group, I'd be like, wow, look how shell I ran. I tell my wife, look, I ran on the seven minute mile in this one mile. I would end up running the marathon at 5:39 per mile for 26, which at the time seemed crazy, but you can't be the guy who was willing to die to win. And as I started to get a little bit of positive reinforcement in terms of the results and seeing the improvement, so I was running, then my legs started bothering me so I bought a bike. I didn't know anything but I was like, oh, these guys. There was a guy in my office who was like talking about he's a great bike rider and I was like, I'm gonna get a bike and these guys are really good, I'll try to ride with them. And when I rode with them I was like, either these guys stink or I'm pretty good at bike riding. But like I'm not nearly as far down as I thought I was. I mean it was probably a combination of both. But I started riding like, I mean I end up training with Lance Armstrong. We did a friggin race together on the same team. Like I, I did crazy things.
- [31:40]
Ed Mylett
Are you hearing you?
- [31:41]
Ken Rideout
I know it's great but really like
- [31:43]
Ed Mylett
I know when you write a book, you write a book, you kind of almost forget. Yeah, like are you hearing you? Yeah bro, like let's just Unpack a couple things here really quick. There's such a huge lesson in how you ended up doing this. Napoleon Hill and think and grow rich. I've morphed it into my own thing, but I teach this. He says, if you can survive temporary pain, on the other side of that pain, you get introduced to your other self. And I. When I speak, I'm gonna say it today. When I speak, I'm a big believer that God gives you access to parts of yourself you never knew about when you go through pain. Like, my speaking ability on stage was developed because I had to learn to talk to my dad when he was drunk.
- [32:22]
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
- [32:23]
Ed Mylett
And I didn't know at the time, but God was saying, if you'll survive this time in your life, you're gonna unveil a gift of yours. And so a lot of times, everyone listening or watching it may be the pain you're going through. And how you get out of that pain that could be a revelation to you of a new talent, a new gift, a new relationship. You're one decision away from changing your life. For you, the catalyst of all, the reason you're sitting here was the decision to get sober is what it sounds like to me. 100 isn't that bizarre? Sobriety decision ends up introducing you to this. You weren't a runner. No, you were not a runner, bro. And now you're the fastest dude in the world.
- [32:59]
Ken Rideout
Well, it's a combination of other people start to slow down, who might have had running success.
- [33:03]
Ed Mylett
Stop it. Don't be humble. You did not grow up on the track team. You did not run college, cross country, or track.
- [33:09]
Ken Rideout
Didn't know anything about it.
- [33:10]
Ed Mylett
You weren't running marathons in your 20s. You weren't doing any of this stuff. And now you're the fastest man in the world. Over 50 years old. Like, just let that soak in. And it happened because you were a drug addict and got sober. That's nuts.
- [33:22]
Ken Rideout
Well, I always say that, like, the hardest things in your life are where all the gifts are found. And I like, slapping the guy in the face. Like, I was like, oh, my God, I've lost my job. I'm screwed. I'm gonna have to go home. I didn't have, like, two nickels to rub to together. I didn't have, like, a nest egg. I was making money, paying the bills. I barely had enough to pay my rent and student loans. And then I had, like, maybe a hundred dollars left over for the month, building up credit card debt, just believing something's going to happen and I'm going to make money. But I had no roadmap. No one was like, oh, yeah, once you, once things start to work, you'll make a load of money. It will happen quickly, you know. So I was just like having blind faith. And the same thing with the running. I was just running and running and like, training, but I never, I never identified myself as a runner. I was like, I'm just like, I'm exercising. And even like in that, in Eastbound and Down, that Kenny Powers TV show, when the guy's like, oh, I do triathlons. And he said, do you do triathlons? And the guy goes, no, man, I play real sports. I'm not trying to be the best at exercising. Which always makes me laugh because then I always say, like, yeah, I'm the best exerciser in the world. But the point is, I was toiling in darkness and anonymity for so many years. And then all of a sudden, I started to win a couple bigger races. The Malibu Half Marathon. My times just kept getting faster and faster. But to your point about not knowing anything about running, I didn't even have a coach. I worked my way down to a 2:33 marathon and won a handful of races without ever having a coach or a structured training plan. All I did was run a minimum of 10 miles a day in the hills in Malibu. It's funny because Reggie Miller gave me a quote for the book. And I'd see him on his mountain bike. We'd be the only two people out in this, like, desert looking mountain. And we'd be riding, he'd be riding up the hill, I'd be running. You know, you're going about the same speed up, you know, on a mountain bike. And we start, we just struck up a friendship and people like, how do you know Reggie? I'm like, to be honest with, the only time I see him is when we're training. And then he would. Then he gave me an awesome quote for the book. But I was just there working and working and not having a goal of winning races. It's just, I just worked so hard that they couldn't deny that I was better than that, that I was faster than most people. What?
- [35:31]
Ed Mylett
So yeah, but then you do decide to start.
- [35:33]
Ken Rideout
You want to win then I did. Once I get a taste for that, then I'm like, what's next? I start looking at every race. I'm like, you know, I'm looking for the races that don't have prize money because those attract, like real pros and Like, I'm not a professional runner. I mean, a professional runner is running, like, two under 205, right? I'm running 228. So I start looking at all the local races that don't have a. That don't have a prize person. I'm like, I just start showing up at races and winning, and I won a big one in 20. 19. 19 or 20, right before COVID at the Pasadena Half Marathon at the Rose Bowl. And it was, like, 8,000 people. And it's winding through Pasadena. Holy. I'm leading. There's a motorcycle in front of me. And I turn and come into the Rose bowl. And, you know, the. Probably, like, 100 people in there, but it's finishing in the Rose bowl on the field, live on the news. And the announcer, like, here he comes. Here's doing it. Oh, my God. He's 48 years old.
- [36:23]
Ed Mylett
That's so crazy.
- [36:24]
Ken Rideout
That's crazy.
- [36:25]
Ed Mylett
Come on. So what point when you're doing a marathon or an ultramarathon or an Ironman? There's a point. I think I've never done them, so I'm speculating. But there's a point where, like, the quit question must come up every second,
- [36:40]
Ken Rideout
every step of the way. I'm thinking of, like, almost, like, in real time, looking at all the systems checks, like, on a. Like, a fighter pilot, looking at all the monitors, like, how's the oil pressure? Like, the whole. I'm evaluating myself every step of the way. And early in the marathon, I'm like, all right, am I going too high? Let me check the pace I want. You got to really manage the effort, and marathon takes a lot of experience because you can easily go a step too fast for the first few miles and end up, like, walking to the finish line. And I've never had to walk, but I have, like, blown myself up in some races. A big one in Berlin, where I frigging blew an easy win there. But the whole time, I'm wrestling with that thought of, like, oh, my ankles. I tweaked my ankle. Should I stop the whole time? This is, like, this. The difference in. As you get more experiences, the voice that's telling you to quit becomes smaller and smaller. When you first do a raise, you're like, this is really hard. I don't know if we can do it. And this guy's like, you can do it. But now the two voices in my head is like, one's like this huge alpha lion, and the other one is like a Chihuahua. Like, oh, he should Stop. And this one's like.
- [37:46]
Ed Mylett
But you're aware there's two voices.
- [37:48]
Ken Rideout
100.
- [37:48]
Ed Mylett
This is important.
- [37:49]
Ken Rideout
So everybody hear those self doubt or feel that self doubt. I'm like, what the F is wrong with you? Everything good in your life has come from grinding. Nothing good happened when I took the easel road.
- [38:00]
Ed Mylett
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- [40:11]
Ken Rideout
They put limits on themselves. They think they can't do certain things. Like, I'm here to tell you, like, you can do anything, anything you want to do, just especially for sales guys. I'm sure a lot of sales guys watch your. Watch your content, right? And I would tell you this, if you're just a sales guy and you. I know my product really well, and I'm gonna buy the guy a steak dinner. Like, no one gives a sh. T. About that. Like, I pay you to not take me out. Just tell me what you're gonna do for me. However, if you can be interesting, every sales guy will have a handful of clients, right? Some of those clients are gonna be into things that you might be into. It might be golf. Be a scratch golfer. Like, have something that you're special at. You could be a nerd. Maybe you're into Dungeons and Dragons. One of those people you're selling to could be the biggest Dungeons and Dragons dweeb in the world. Tell that guy you know everything. Dungeons and Dragons. But you have to have something unique and something differentiating yourself from other salespeople. And it's not just that you know the product the best and you get the best prices. Like, there's been many times in my life where I'm like, I don't even care what the price is. I just don't want to deal with you or I like you so much. I want you to make some money. Just tell me what the right price is and make sure you're making some money on it, right? If you like the guy selling you something. Guy's selling me a diamond ring. I'm like, look, I don't know anything about diamonds. Do me a favor. Don't embarrass me in two months when I bump into a buddy who knows diamonds, and I'm like, this is the ring I got. What's the deal? Look, like I said, I like you, so build in some profit, but don't get rich off. Like, right? Get me a little bit over. Over time. Don't get me all at once.
- [41:40]
Ed Mylett
Yeah.
- [41:40]
Ken Rideout
And it's like, that's so true. Same thing with car dealers. I'm like, buddy, make some money, but don't make me the sucker of the month, right?
- [41:46]
Ed Mylett
That's exactly how I Feel I want you to make some money, but don't make it all in the first.
- [41:50]
Ken Rideout
Right.
- [41:50]
Ed Mylett
How do you know? Okay, so I thought of you. I'm like kind of my version of Goggins a little bit. You are. And Goggins has been on the show. I love David, and we speak at probably three events a year together. So I not only know Goggins, I know David. Yeah, he's a wonderful man. Most people don't know. David's actually a really kind, good person and a good friend. And in fact, I saw versions of him, like, at his birthday, that he's just. He's just. He's actually a really sweet, good man. Which is completely contradictory to Stay hard, but hard's in the name of your book, too. But one of the things. So having said all that, someone that I admire very much, David, sometimes I worry about my friend there, that he's addicted to pain more than even growth. Sometimes I say that with love and respect and admiration. What about you and what about that concept? There are some people that do grind forever because they've become addicted to grinding and pain and not just the growth and the reward of it.
- [42:53]
Ken Rideout
I got you. I know exactly what you're saying. And to the people that say, like, you traded one addiction for another, I say, yes. One addiction had me suicidal and feeling like a loser, and the other addiction has me sitting here talking to you about my book. I have four children, like David. We have a lot of similarities, but we have some major differences, right? Like, I live with my four children. Like, they watch everything I do. I can't be in a. I can't be hard all the time. Like, there has to be a balance with the things that I'm doing too, right? Like, I. I have a. I have a job. Like, I. I interact with people all the time. And it's funny, when I meet people who only know me through, like, the book or. Or podcast, similar reaction, they're like, oh, you. You seem much more relaxed and sensible. I'm like, no one is a. I don't know what perception I'm putting out there. Like, a lot of times I'll say to my wife, I'm like, I think these people think I'm someone that I'm not. It's like, a little bit unsettling at times because I'm like. I think they're extremely expecting me to, like, come in and, like, start punching people or something. I'm like, I genuinely, like, love people. I'm like, a lot of it is a defense Mechanism. If I'm super aggressive, maybe people won't like get too close to like hurt my feelings. Yeah. Which. Well, yeah. Really? Yeah, of course. I mean I'm, I'm super sensitive. So much so that I'm like, let me, I, I gotta tell you about all my weaknesses before you find out about them. So that was part of the book is like, here's all the mistakes I made.
- [44:15]
Ed Mylett
You do do a lot of that in the book.
- [44:16]
Ken Rideout
Yeah, well, a lot of it is like my own form of therapy. It's like, these are the worst thing that's ever happened to me and the only way I can get comfortable with them is just to talk about them. And like in the book I talk about in high school, I'm playing quarterback last game of the season. We get, we, we end up tying the game, but we should be winning and I'm not playing well and all of a sudden I hear a crowd ride out. Sucks, right? Dude, I was suicidal for like three months. I was like, I'm gonna kill myself. I can't believe that the whole crowd was chanting I suck. But to an 18 year old brain that doesn't have a lifetime of experience, that to me was like, I can't believe they really think I suck. Like, I didn't think I sucked. I wasn't playing good, but I suck. And what it was, was probably a couple. And then everyone's like, haha, let's do this. Not realizing like the damage that it did to me at the time. I mean now I can laugh about it, but man, that really hurt my feelings at the time.
- [45:08]
Ed Mylett
You're making me think. You know, I have this debate often with Andy Frisella, who's my business partner in Arete, my coaching program.
- [45:15]
Ken Rideout
Oh yeah, I like that too.
- [45:16]
Ed Mylett
And Tim Grover's a great friend and we debate something together often. And John Gordon's a friend who's kind of the other side. And so these debates we have is to be successful. I think this will probably be an Instagram clip right here I'm about to ask you about. But to be successful, do you leverage what, what Grover would probably call the dark side. Leverage. The dark side, meaning you're moving away from something. I'm going to prove these people saying right out sucks wrong. I'm going to prove my family wrong. I'm going to move away from the pain of being not 6 foot 3 and whatever. So you leverage that pain, you leverage the dark side. Right. That's one mechanism for motivation, inspiration and that Tim believes that's Something like what Jordan or Kobe would do or Brady or they would leverage that. And then there's the other side, which is you could be chasing something instead of moving away. You're chasing the dream, the pleasure. They're leveraging how great it's going to be when you cross the finish line to win. So there's these two polar opposite mechanisms that can drive us. Right? Which do you use more of and which do you think is healthier and more effective?
- [46:25]
Ken Rideout
I try not to let other losers impact my life, so I have done a very good job of blocking out the. Like, I'm going to prove them wrong. I'm like, I'm. You're already wrong. Because anything you think negatively about me, you're wrong. I know I'm like a good person. I know I'm a good dad. So I'm chasing the validation of being like I did. Like, I'm chasing my own goals. And, you know, it's like anyone who's talking bad about you or thinking negatively or trying to, like, hoping for the worst for you, like, those people have nothing going on in their lives. I'm not trying to appease or prove haters wrong, because those people, anyone who's got time and energy to hate other people, they're losers. Like, I genuinely am. Like, I feel bad for you. Like, I wish I had enough time to scroll Instagram and leave terrible comments about people like, how bored are you? Like, some guys did it. The other day, I had Oz Perlman on Oz Dementos, and the guy wrote in the comment, can I curse here? Yeah, the guy wrote this loser. And I assumed he was talking about Oz, but so my comment was like, you, dude, you're a loser. He wrote back like, this guy lied about selling books and then sent me a dm. Like, he did this, he did that. I go, buddy, do you realize how stupid you sound leaving a comment like that? I said, how about this? The next time you want to talk about someone you don't know, leave 3 comments. Super kind comments for strangers and watch how much better your life gets by the end. The guy was like, yeah, you're right.
- [47:50]
Ed Mylett
You're sorry.
- [47:50]
Ken Rideout
I shouldn't have said that.
- [47:51]
Ed Mylett
Yep, yep.
- [47:52]
Ken Rideout
And he followed me, too. I'm like, dude, if you're following me and talking to people like that, we have nothing in common.
- [47:57]
Ed Mylett
Yeah.
- [47:58]
Ken Rideout
And I tell my kids that all the time. I say, you can't worry about the people that aren't those people. There are certain people that aren't going to like you no matter what you do. They're not going to like you because they're not you. You could walk on water and they're going to tell you it's because you can't swim. Those people exist. So I'm always chasing, like, again. I don't have all the answers. Some of it is a validation. I want people to, like, love me and think I'm great, and I want to love myself.
- [48:23]
Ed Mylett
Yeah.
- [48:24]
Ken Rideout
But it's. But I'm definitely more chasing the win than trying to, like, distract myself with the opinions of idiots. The people that love me want me to win.
- [48:33]
Ed Mylett
Yeah.
- [48:34]
Ken Rideout
And they're happy when I win.
- [48:35]
Ed Mylett
You. You have something. I'm always trying to, like, get to the bottom of it. I said earlier, you got that dog in you. Like, you want to be somebody really bad. You also run pretty hot. Very. You're intense.
- [48:45]
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
- [48:45]
Ed Mylett
And I think sometimes people lack certain elements of being successful. It's just invisible to them. They're just oblivious because it's not talked about a lot. So it's like, I don't know what I'm missing. It seems like I got them all dialed in, and one of them, if I'm being honest, like, I've had 900 guests on the show. The real winners, they run a little hot, they walk a little faster.
- [49:04]
Ken Rideout
They're cursed.
- [49:06]
Ed Mylett
It's a blessing and a curse. You and I are talking about our UFC friends. Like, just speak to that, just for a second. Like, you probably take for granted that you're that way, but do you know, when you meet someone, be honest. Who doesn't have that thing?
- [49:20]
Ken Rideout
Oh, my God.
- [49:21]
Ed Mylett
Yeah.
- [49:21]
Ken Rideout
I was just talking to one of my business partners, and he was asking. We represent a lot of scientists, doctors, and thought leaders through my agency. And they're like, hey, this particular doctor, here's his credentials. I go, dude, he's a super nice guy, but he. He doesn't have it. I've spoken to him a few times, and I'm like, something's missing here. I don't know what it is. It's not a bad thing. It's just like. I'm like. There's nothing that's magnetic about him. I'm not like, dude, tell me, what are your thoughts on nmn? What are your thoughts on Peptides? Like, I just. I'm just like, all right, if I get a cold, I'll give you a call. Like, I don't. You know what I mean? It's not. No. What do you think it is? There's some sort of dynamic element of people that they just have, I used to think. And I was talking to my buddy Rob Moore, who produces Andrew Huberman's podcast, and he produces my podcast, and he's like, he's one of my most important friends. He really understands everything. For years, I was like, I want to write a book. He's like, I wouldn't do it yet. Like, you still have things to do. I don't know what it is. And he would always tell me, no, no, no. And even introducing me as a podcast guest for some of the big shows that he has relationships with, in particular, Rich Roll, which was the first big one I did. He's like, not yet. He's like, I don't know. We will get there. And it was, like, years, and I was so frustrated. I'm like, he knows these people. He could get me on. I know I have an interesting story to tell, but I took my time and I did it the way he suggested, and everything worked when it was supposed to work. But I would say to him, like, tell Rich. Like, tell him I'm really interesting. I have an interesting life. And he's like, I don't think that that's the selling point for you. He said, I think that the most important thing about you is you're interested in other people. He's like, you genuinely seem to be interested in everything. And it's true. Like, even you could tell me you're into Dungeons and Dragons. I'm like, what the hell is that? Like, explain it to me. Like, what am I missing? Yeah, I think of it as, like, a nerd game, but, you know, the people are into it. I like, yeah, I don't. I don't care if it's a nerd game. And there's something about someone being confident. Like, I don't care if you think it's a nerd game. I like it.
- [51:17]
Ed Mylett
Yes.
- [51:17]
Ken Rideout
Like, be yourself.
- [51:18]
Ed Mylett
Yeah, I. I'm with you. 100. I think the it thing is. Is, like, I don't know if it's like, laser focus, and they have a different frequency about them. They vibrate a little bit differently. I'm not sure exactly what it is, but I know when I see it, and I know when I don't.
- [51:31]
Ken Rideout
You know what I like to think if. If. If we're neighbors and friends, and I'm like. And again, this has to do with my. My upbringing, because my wife is like, when would that ever happen? I'm like, ed so and so is coming to my house to fight me. He's bringing his buddies. I Need you to get over here. Yeah, there are some friends that are gonna be like, I'll call the cops. And there's other friends that'll be like, I'll be right over with no questions asked. And my wife's like, no one's coming to fight you. I'm like, you never know. I want to know who's gonna come and help me and who's gonna be hiding under the bed.
- [52:00]
Ed Mylett
Yeah. It's a perfect example, by the way. And they don't have to have all the info.
- [52:04]
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
- [52:04]
Ed Mylett
Why or what? They're just there.
- [52:06]
Ken Rideout
Exactly. Like the scene from the town where he's like, you can't ask me any questions. We're gonna hurt some people. And the guy's like, whose car are we taking?
- [52:13]
Ed Mylett
It was exactly what I was just thinking.
- [52:14]
Ken Rideout
That's my. Those are the people that I grew up with in Boston. Like, same here.
- [52:18]
Ed Mylett
Maybe that's why I like you. Okay, let me ask you this. We don't have too much more time. This has been so good. I feel like it's flying by. But what's it feel like to win? Everyone listening to this is like, hey, I want to run whatever my metaphorical race is in my life. What's it like to win?
- [52:31]
Ken Rideout
Well, I'm afraid I'm going to disappoint everyone, because when I won the world championships in Chicago at the. I call my wife, by the way. I go to all the races by myself because it's business. Like, I don't take my wife on business trips, right? So. And I'm a maniac. Before. I'm very moody. I just. I go to the. Whatever city it is. I rent the best hotel so I can be comfortable, relax staying at the St. Regis in Chicago. Win. The rate I get, I get finished. I look up the results like, yep, I won the age group. I called my wife. I'm like, I did it. I won the age group. And she's like, oh, great. Now, I had been trying to win my age group in all the major marathons. Boston, New York, Chicago, London, Berlin, and Tokyo. And I had one all except Berlin and London. So in Chicago, she's like, oh, my God, you did a great, great, great. I'm like, no, no, this was the world. This race was the world champion, the age group, world championship. She's like, oh, my God. And starts to get emotional. She's like, how happy are you? I'm like, I feel just relieved. I'm just so glad it's over. Probably be, like, selling your company and you're like, yeah, I'm happy. I got the money. But there's, like, almost like a bittersweet ending to, like. There's something super rewarding and refreshing about being in the struggle. When I'm training for the race, I'm like, I have purpose. I'm progressing. I'm, like, ready to go. And then it ends, and you're like, okay, I did it. Yeah, I'm happy. I Definitely happier than if I. If I lost. But there is a feeling of relief, like, oh, thank God I can breathe again. I did it.
- [53:56]
Ed Mylett
Yes. By the way, one of the most honest, true answers of all time. Because whatever successes I have or haven't had in my life, that's exactly how it feels.
- [54:04]
Ken Rideout
I want to jump around and be like, I did it. Yeah. Yes. But I'm like, I did it. It's kind of like a guy scoring a touchdown and just hands the ball to the ref. You just like, yeah, I did it. I knew I could. That's trained like this.
- [54:16]
Ed Mylett
It's almost feels like you've been there before.
- [54:18]
Ken Rideout
I won this six months ago in the pissing down rain or in the snow in Nashville. Like, I did. I've already suffered.
- [54:24]
Ed Mylett
Yeah, you did.
- [54:24]
Ken Rideout
This is a beauty pageant.
- [54:26]
Ed Mylett
Yeah. By the way, that's why preparation matters so much. So Huberman, who you're talking about earlier, I just saw him on something not too long ago, and he actually said they've proved now by tracking dopamine, as I understand this, in the brain, and that even in a race or in an achievement, that you're getting a greater dopamine hit during the pursuit than when you actually cross the finish line. And in fact, it dramatically falls off a cliff after you win. So you've. You've actually described, by the way, which I like, because sometimes people like, it's
- [54:52]
Ken Rideout
the greatest thing in life, in the world, and it.
- [54:54]
Ed Mylett
You know, there's been moments in my life where that's been true, but very rarely, because I. You have to. You're probably not gonna win if you don't expect to be there.
- [55:02]
Ken Rideout
That's right.
- [55:02]
Ed Mylett
And you were winning during that suffering of running in the rain, so good. This is such a great combo. Okay, last question, and then we'll. I want to promote the book one more time because the book's like, I told you. I read it in. In a day.
- [55:13]
Ken Rideout
Yeah.
- [55:15]
Ed Mylett
And it's not short. I don't know, is it 200 pages? 220, something like that. It's, by the way, the name of the book. You guys is the other side of hard. But I read the whole book. Yeah, I didn't skim it. I read it because it was that good. But someone's listening to this today, and they're like, oh, my gosh. I'm listening to a dude who's done crazy things in his life. You're kind of like the Dos Equis man a little bit.
- [55:35]
Ken Rideout
You are, by the way, best compliment anyone's ever given me.
- [55:38]
Ed Mylett
Well, the other thing, too, that for those of you that are on audio and not a video, he's also ripped. So he's being really humble about the fact that, you know, he's 5 10, and I think he's probably five, nine and a half. But. But. But he's ripped and. And he. So he is a billboard of what he teaches, right? But someone's listening. This, like, dude, I want to have in my life before it's over. I want to cross my finish line, and I'm kind of lost. Maybe I've even had a couple losses lately, and I've just. I got to get started doing something. What would your advice be? That's a hard question, but that's why I put it last. Like, what would your advice be to somebody who says, look, man, I. I admire you, and I want at least a piece of my life to feel like I think what you're doing and what. What you feel.
- [56:23]
Ken Rideout
I tell everyone, keep showing up, keep going. Meaning you. You have to take the first step. And you can't look for other people to give you external validation. You don't need cheerleaders because. And you don't need motivation. And it's. Again, sounds corny. I know. Everyone says you need discipline. Discipline is whispering in your ear at 5am when it's snowing out. And you have to. You only have an hour to, like, get this working, get up and do it. No one know. And guess what? If you don't do it, no one cares. And no one will care if you don't show up and do anything. But the person who. Whose opinion you should be trying to, like, satisfy is your own, you know, if you're doing the work. So I wish there was an easy answer, but it's like Jocko's book, you know, taking extreme, extreme responsibility. You have to take extreme responsibility for yourself. You're only doing this once. Your physique, the way you take care of yourself, that's a byproduct of hard work, but that tells another person everything they need to know about you. No one wants to do business with someone who comes in all disheveled and sloppy, and they look like they don't care about themselves. Your mental and physical health is your number one responsibility in the world. It has to come before even your family, because if you don't take care of yourself, they're gonna take care of you. That's my biggest fear, is that my children have to, like, worry about me. I want to be, like, the pillar of strength until I can't do it anymore. And to me, that's like, much later in life. And I want them to recognize that their dad was there, showing up, honoring himself and showing up with confidence and showing up like a dad is supposed to. Like, that's my dad over there. If there's any problems, my dad's going to settle it. And it's not about being tough, but it's like taking responsibility for yourself in a way that looks like, yeah, I care deeply about the things that are important to me, and there is no bigger. We all have that responsibility from the cradle to the grave. No one can tell you, Ed, to go work out today. No one can tell you what to eat for breakfast. If you want to have pancakes with whipped cream and sugar, be my guest. But after a couple days of that, you're going to start to look like someone who eats like that. And to me, I'm like, this is the easiest win in the world. Take care of yourself.
- [58:30]
Ed Mylett
I'm sorry. We're going one more. I'm trying to pick it apart. That was such a great answer. You've mentioned your family and your kids a lot of times. I'm just curious when you are at that quitting point, because I think this is a huge lesson in the race. Do you flash to them?
- [58:45]
Ken Rideout
Of course.
- [58:46]
Ed Mylett
What do you think?
- [58:47]
Ken Rideout
I think, again, I've made so many mistakes and. And I'm far from a perfect dad. I get very emotional and scream at people and like a monster who left his damn milk out. How many times I got to tell you who left the garage open? So when I'm. When I'm thinking about things like that, because to me, those are the easy wins, I have time to think this is happening. The way I behave in the next couple minutes is going to dictate a lot of how the rest of the week and month goes. And I love these kids, man. They have their. Like, they. If I've done anything right in my life with my children, is making them proud. When I. My daughter sometimes, when she was just becoming a teenager, would be like, dad, you don't have to drive me all the way to the front of the school. You can leave me over here. And I was like, tensei. If I get the impression that you're embarrassed of me, I will get out, hold your hand, walk you into the classroom, and kiss you on the lips. Don't tell me, but my son, she doesn't do that anymore now, because with the book, she's like, dad, all my friends want to come over for a signed book. And my sons will be like, I just dropping him at a party. And my son said, dad, can you come in and meet Meet Rashford's dad? And I was like, meet his. I said, you could go. Like, you don't need my permit. He's like, no, no, the dad wants to meet you. And I was like, this is the greatest thing. Like, the greatest gift, actually. You know who lives around the corner from me? It's funny dad story. Alan. Alan Richmond. Reacher, who just beat up the guy.
- [60:09]
Ed Mylett
Just beat up the guy on the street.
- [60:10]
Ken Rideout
Yeah, I saw him the next day at that thing. And I'm like, alan, you're my hero. I go, the restraint that you showed you, like, that was the perfect dad moment. The guy's, like, attacking you in front of your children, and you show restraint. Show restraint. And then finally crack his ass, but don't hurt him. I was like, this is like, how dad should behave. Buddy, please don't do this. The kids stop it. And then the guy's like, this is what happened. Then Alan releases the video, his body cam, which thank God, he had. It's like, buddy, that's not at all what happened. You completely instigated that. Shoved him off his motorcycle. Crazy.
- [60:46]
Ed Mylett
Yeah, well, most of their kids is caught, not taught. And by the way, that is a great example of what he did right there. But I have to. I don't think enough people, when they're thinking of quitting or pushing, link their love for their family. Because if your love for your family is greater than your fear or the pain you're going through, that can be the leverage, the catalyst that keeps you to keep pushing through. And I knew that's what you did during.
- [61:05]
Ken Rideout
When I was a kid, all I wanted was a normal family. I wanted my family. Family to be the family I have now. So when I think about my children now, yeah, I can be a bit of a maniac with them, but it all comes from love. And they know that. And it's like, I try not to spoil them, but they also, like, have way too many pairs of air Jordan shoes. And my wife be like, no more shoes. And I'm like. Because as a kid, that was my like, validation. I was like, I want to have nice shoes. So like I just subconsciously I like maybe spoil them a little bit.
- [61:32]
Ed Mylett
You become the dad you didn't have, bro.
- [61:34]
Ken Rideout
That's exactly right. And I've created the life that I dreamed I could, could have. And I can't believe it's happened.
- [61:39]
Ed Mylett
I'm real happy for you.
- [61:40]
Ken Rideout
Thank you, brother. I appreciate you.
- [61:42]
Ed Mylett
This really was good.
- [61:43]
Ken Rideout
Thanks.
- [61:44]
Ed Mylett
You know, it was too. You guys enjoy this today. This is what it's like to win, you guys, is what it's like to change your life. The other side of hard. That's Ken Rideout. Share today's episode. You guys, this was so good. This is the real stuff. God bless you. Max out
- [62:00]
Ken Rideout
this is the Ed Miler Show.
- [62:06]
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- [62:34]
Ken Rideout
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- [62:51]
Ed Mylett
I'm told it's super easy to do.
- [62:52]
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