← THE ED MYLETT SHOW
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- [00:00]
A
So, hey, guys, listen. We're all trying to get more productive and the question is, how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth based environment, that you're much more likely to grow and you're going to grow faster. And that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Burchard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down. Growthday.com forward/ed. So if you want to be more productive, by the way, he's asked me, I post videos in there every single Monday that gets your day off to the right start. Got about $5,000, $10,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with the app. Also, some of the top influencers in the world are all posting content in there on a regular basis, like having the avengers of personal development and business in one app. And I'm honored that he asked me to be a part of it as well and contribute on a weekly basis. And I do. So go over there and get signed up. You're going to get a free tuition, free voucher to go to an event with Brendan and myself and a bunch of other influencers as well. So you get a free event out of it also. So go to growthday.com that's growthday.com ed. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart Choice. Progressive loves to help people make smart choices. That's why they offer a tool called Auto Quote Explorer that allows you to compare your Progressive car insurance quote with rates from other companies so you save time on the research and can enjoy savings when you choose the best rate for you. Give it a try after this episode@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy. This is the Ed Mylett Show. All right. Welcome back to the show. Hello, everybody. So this week I'm very excited to have a friend who's coming back for the second time. You know what that means if somebody comes back twice? That means, I think the world of them because usually it's one and done on this show, but the great ones I have come back and the reason is we're gonna have a tremendous conversation today with such a gifted woman who's got experience and a track record in the things we're talking about. So we're gonna talk about business. We're gonna talk about money. We're gonna talk about getting wealthy. We're talking to talk about life a little bit and overcoming trauma as well, with my new neighbor who just smartly moved here, wherever it is that I live. Candy Valentino, welcome back to the show.
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B
Thanks so much for having me, Ed.
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A
By the way, she's also got a great book out called the 9% edge. I have the workbook in my hand, and if you're on the audio, we've got a copy of the book here on the video as well. So I wanted you back. I got to tell you, two of the most popular shows in the last 12 months have been kind of sit down, what I call, like, fireside chats like this with real entrepreneurs, which, as you know, in the personal development space, as we were saying off camera, isn't easy to actually find. It's rare people have actually built businesses, not just telling you how to build a business. And so two of the most popular shows the last 12 months have been Andy Frisella and I. We sat in his bar and smoked cigars and talked business in life. And then Dan Martell, who I coach, same thing. He sat in my bar, and so I thought, who else would I like to have set? We don't have to sit in the bar. Went out to smoke cigars, even though you do that. And that was you. And so because you've been so successful in business, you've retired a couple of different times.
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B
Yes.
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A
Okay. How did you actually build your businesses? Because I think the last time you're on, people said, what exactly did she do to get wealthy? So let's start there.
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B
Yeah. So the very first thing was I started a spa in the late 90s. Before, they were really a thing. Nowadays, you see them everywhere on every corner. Right. But back in the day, I had traveled to New York City, and I'd seen one of these places, and I'd never seen one before. Super small town, right? 2,000 people. My dad, you know, super blue collar. So I never really had any of those experiences as a child. When I was in New York City with this gift certificate to get one of these massages, I was like, what is this thing? And why aren't there more of them? All the women were super happy and pretty and. And talked really nice to me. And so I was like, I want to do this. So I literally came back. You figure? I was 19. I wasn't even 19 at the time. I was 18 at the time. So the country just allows me to vote. And I have an idea to start a business. I can't even legally drink. And I come back and at the time I had heard that there was this thing called the SBA Small Business Association. And at the time they were really looking for to give funding to. Because if you think about late 90s, it was only about seven to 10 years prior that women could even get a business loan or a business account.
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A
Crazy.
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B
Without a man's signature, it's like crazy.
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A
That is crazy.
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B
I mean, when I was little, my mom used to say, what do you want to be when you grow up? A teacher or a nurse? And I was thinking, I'm not really great with blood, so I don't know that that's going to be a good plan. And so when I heard this Small Business association thing, I was like, wow, this is fascinating. So I took my little briefcase that I got from Office Depot and shoved my business plan in there and went, you to do it in person. This is the 90s pre Internet. And pitched my business idea. And they gave me just enough money. I had a six week run rate, 45 days or I was going to run out of money.
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A
Wow.
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B
And I started with seven employees the day that I opened because I had seen my dad grow up. As I was growing up, I'd seen my dad struggle inside of a very small auto mechanic shop, right. My mom cleaned houses, my dad was a mechanic. And every day after school I got dropped off at his garage. And so I got to see small business firsthand. Most kids learn dance or a sport or something. And I was watching how you interact with customers and how you answer the phone and, and all the things that he did inside of this greasy, grimy garage. And I think for me, when I saw him miss out on so much of my life, yeah, I said, I want to do business differently. I want to do it so that I have freedom, so that there is a means to an end. And I'm not doing this forever. And so when I started on day one, I said, I need to a team. I need to have people that can do these services so I can just run the business and understand the numbers. And then I was like, and I also only want to do this for 20 years. So at 19, I said, I want to be done by the time I turn 40. And I had heard a stat from the Small Business association that less than 1/2 of 1% of female founded companies ever get acquired.
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A
Oh my gosh.
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B
Right? Isn't that crazy? And at the time, less than 2% of female owned businesses ever broke seven figures.
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A
That's ridiculous.
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B
Now, of course, those numbers have exponentially grown, right? But when I started 2% and less than one half of 1%, and I thought, challenge accepted.
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A
So just because there's been so many of them, you end up exiting that. Did it end up being successful?
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B
Yes, ended up being successful. Ended up exiting it on my 39th birthday. So 20 years almost to the day. So be careful what you put out.
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A
There, because it actually happens. Did you end up with more than one location or was it the one location?
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B
I did a bunch of different things. Yeah. So back in the, I'd say early 2000s, I was going into a bunch of different locations. I had a franchising attorney. I had so many things that we were going to do. And then I started a nonprofit. So the franchising stopped. So we were doing a bunch of different things. We also opened mall kiosk. We were selling gift cards. And online, we had online, like everything. Then we really dialed into E commerce. So E Commerce were coming on the scene in the early 2000s. I was young enough to pick up what that meant, and we started blowing up on E commerce. Then we started manufacturing products in China and having certain a brand within a business.
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A
Okay, let's step out for a second. Let's talk business now, because this is why wanted her on everybody. Whether you are a young person who wants to be an entrepreneur or even if you don't even want to be an entrepreneur, because we're going to talk about some stuff that happened in your childhood again, because I know where the show spiked last time and I want to talk about that, but I want to start back. 19, female. This wasn't happening a lot then. It's unbelievable what you said, by the way, that just a few years before you needed a male's signature to get a business loan, which is an actual fact. What advice would you give to someone young who's thinking about being an entrepreneur or currently is. I'm talking young for me is we'll call it 30 and under. Okay. I guess at my age that's still young. So what advice in general? Is there anything different you would say to someone young? Because my kids ask me this stuff all the time. And I'm like, well, I'm going to be 54. I'm not always qualified to answer that. Now what would you say?
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B
Well, number one, I think that the barrier to entry right now has never been easier. And the challenge with that is it's never been easier. So people are really gung ho about starting but not a lot of people finish. And I think if you want to separate yourself in any industry, any field as an entrepreneur or building wealth, you need to focus on follow through, focus on being persistent, focus on grit and hard work in a society that is demonizing hard work. And that you should just wake up and love your life every day and go to the beach when you want, even though you haven't earned that yet. I think that it is. It's damaging, but what it does is it creates massive opportunity for those who are willing to actually do the work.
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A
You think social media perverts the view of a young person of what entrepreneurship is?
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B
Yes. And I would say anyone right now that truly wants to be successful, become a creator and not a consumer, consume less content, create more content, consume less noise, get quiet and still and really ask yourself important questions and then follow through. I think social media, unfortunately, is putting this mask over what it really takes. You know it, I know it. When you want to be the one, as your book says, the one in your family, the first in your family to accomplish something that has never happened before, you need to be willing to do more than anybody else will do.
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A
Yeah. Here's the thing that's never talked about, because it's always said there's levels to this stuff, right. Of being entrepreneur goes, well, you got to work hard. And I think if you did not grow up in an entrepreneurial family, which I didn't, there's no entrepreneurs that I'm aware of in my family. You saw some of it with your dad. Right. This is a hard question to answer, but I'm gonna just give you a shot at it because I don't know that I answer it very well. What is the hard work actually look like? Like, what does it mean? Because I'll give you an example. I thought I worked out hard in the gym, which I do compared to probably most. And then I went and worked out with a former Mr. Olympia and I'm like, oh, okay, there's. There's a little bit of a difference to this thing here. And then I think people think they work hard as an employee. That's a totally different game than work looks like as an entrepreneur. You and I were just talking about this off camera, how fatigued I am from 30 something years of being an entrepreneur. Give us what would your best. What does it mean to work hard as an entrepreneur? Because it's like, that sounds good in a meme or in like a clip we could put out on Instagram right now. But what did that look like for you at 25, 26, 27, 32, all that hard work. What, what's, what's it look like?
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B
It's a great question. And in the beginning, what it looked like was showing up before everybody else and staying before everyone else left. It was taking Saturdays when everybody else wanted to travel. It was saying no to so many things, to parties and trips and all the things my friends were doing so that I could say yes to more than I could even imagine later. It was about really doubling down and developing my acumen and all the business areas that I needed. Finance, sales, marketing, always developing myself. Because when you're in the beginning, unless you have some crazy great education or circumstances that you came from, you're really trying to figure it out. So the only thing I could do more than anybody else was show up. Show up when no one was looking, show up when the cameras were off, show up and actually start to learn what it was that I needed to do. Even when I didn't have the answers. I think so often just by showing up and being willing, the answers kind of come to us.
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A
Yeah.
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B
And so in the beginning, it looked like working more than everyone else. Now as the team developed and as the business grew, then it shifted. Now it's like, I don't want to spend my time on low level tasks. I need to find other people and delegate that off and eliminate things from my day. And I need to be spending my time on more high level tasks to grow the business to scale, to hire more people, to have more locations. Right. Like all of those things have to happen at some point. So then that's kind of like the next level to me is hard work. And I think it's really having discernment and discipline. It's being able to have discipline not to do the easy stuff that you could check a box and having the discernment of really knowing where you want to spend your time. And I think that often in life we ignore discernment and we don't have enough discipline. And I think if you just double down on those two things, you could really probably be successful in just about anything.
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A
That's very good. Discernment and discipline. I think the hardest part for me on the discipline part, that's not talked about, by the way. I love this, like kind of inside success, entrepreneurial type talks. It's why I wanted you here today. So, hey guys, I want to jump in here for a second and talk about change and growth. And you know, by the way, it's no secret how people get ahead in life or how they grow. And also taking a look at the future. If you want to change your future, you got to change the things you're doing. If you continue to do the same things, you're probably going to produce the same results. But if you get into a new environment where you're learning new things and you're around other people that are growth oriented, you're much more likely to do that yourself. And that's why I love Growth Day. Write this down for a second. Growthday.com forward/ed my friend Brenda Burchard has created the most incredible personal development and business app that I've ever seen in my life. Everything from goal setting software to personal accountability, journaling horses, thousands of dollars worth of courses in there as well. I create content in there on Mondays where I contribute as do a whole bunch of other influencers like the avengers of influencers and business minds in there. It's the Netflix for high achievers or people that want to be high achievers. So go check it out. My friend Brennan's made it very affordable, very easy to get invol. Go to growthday.com forward slash ed. That's growthday.com forward slash ed hey guys. So before I hurt my back, one of the things we were doing more of is I was snowboarding and I loved it. And we had great friends who were skiers. So we'd go on these cool ski trips. Here's what I didn't like about these cool ski trips. Dragging these snowboards and skis through the airports. Any of you that know what I'm talking about, it's stressful. They lose them sometimes, they're heavy, they're clanky. There's all these up charges. You don't have to deal with that anymore. Thanks to Ship Skis. Ship Skis helps you do one thing that's important. Skip airport stress and costly airline fees with complimentary insurance, real time tracking, dedicated support, and on time delivery. Just schedule your shipment, attach your label and Ship Skis takes over the rest. It's brilliant. Right now, Ship Skis is offering our listeners 20% off your first shipment when you go to Shipskis.com and use the code MYLET. Go to ship Skis and use the code mylet to get 20 off your first shipment and save yourself the hassle this ski season. That's s h I p s k-I s.com make sure you use the code Mylet so they know we sent you. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally Responsible financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds. Because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home and more. Plus you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it. So your dollar goes a long way. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations. I think the hardest part if I go back was making having non conditional effort. What I mean by that was it was easy in the very beginning just to work hard. But then after a while when there weren't results and I was still losing, to still work hard. Quite frankly, like I think for most people hard work is conditional on there better be some progress, there better be some results. And typically I think as an entrepreneur, your expectations of when results are going to show up is usually somewhat skewed to you thinking it's quicker than it's going to be. So what I see get a lot of entrepreneurs is they do work hard in the beginning, even if you're listening to this right now. And then when the results aren't there or the setbacks start, then the effort becomes conditional and they begin to minimize their effort. And all of a sudden now, Saturday night at 8:30 when everybody else is doing something else in the beginning you're like, yeah, I'm gonna go crush this. I'm making a sacrifice. Three years in and you're still broke. Are you still willing to do it? Do you agree with that?
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B
I agree 100%. And it's interesting, when I first started, the first like two years, because I was working nine to nine, seven days a week, showing up like figuring it out. I remember like not making any money. I was like, what is happening? Like I could have had a job and made more money than I made having a business. And I remember someone saying to me who had been in business for 20 years, she's like, candy, it typically takes about 10 years to really get highly profitable. And I remember thinking 10 years. Nobody told me that, like what the heck? But I think you have to be so clear. And this is where I think people miss because they fail at clarity. People think, okay, this in the book. Yes, I talk about this in the book. Like they're not really clear on what it is they want. They see a piece of content or they hear someone on a podcast and they get fired up and juiced up and they want to go do this thing, but they don't really know what it is. And if you're not really clear on what it is, you can't really have an intention behind building it. You can't really have something that's bigger than your excuses. And I think for me, I had something bigger than my excuses. This, the spa world was not my passion. To me, it was something that I could do in six months, get a license, start a business and be making money right away. It was a way that I could execute with speed as opposed to going to school for four years or six years or doing something else in some other field. So I think that it's really about getting clear. And this is not easy, right, like because we're constantly flooded with the noise of the world. But if you allow the world to define you and to direct you, you can also allow the world to destroy you. You know, oftentimes people think that they get their significance and their by other people's opinions in the world. But now that's also where you get your insecurity. That's where it gets you to beat up, right? So I believe you can't have both. You can't get your validation from the world and then it not destroy you in some point in your life. So you have to get clear on what it is you want and why you want it.
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A
That's so good because it is like a very double edged sword. I think at some point I kind of figured that out and I've kind of gone inside it for most of the things that I want in my life. And I don't take as much pleasure in recognition or significance like I used to. And at the same time I don't take the criticism as strongly as I used to. So let's talk about the book a little bit. This is so good. This is like what it's like, guys, you're in the inside. So the book is interesting because there's a reason why it's called the 9% edge, which you just explained to me. I know you explained it in the book, but it was a long time ago that I read the book. And so the reason it's 9% is what? And then what? Give us a few things that separate that 9%.
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B
So 9% edge is because 91% of all businesses fail in their first 10 years. So you've got someone super excited, wants to start a business, gets inspired and then typically by their third year they no longer have a business. By the 10th year we know that 91% of them fail. So there's only 9% that succeed past that 10 year mark. So we did one of the largest research projects on entrepreneurs and businesses. We researched 2,000 businesses, 17,000 entrepreneurs, plus my 26 years of experience of what's it really take to build a successful business. Not just successful for a year, because anyone can be successful for a few years.
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A
Right.
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B
We know very few people that have been successful for a lifetime. That's right, Decades.
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A
That's exactly right.
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B
So it's like, okay, what do we need to do to create something that's sustainably successful? Well, we know that 99.7% of the reason businesses fail, that 91% is because of lack of sales, lack of profit and lack of funding. All things money. So if we can fix the money piece, if we can have people up, level their financial acumen, they can really build a bigger business that's more sustainable. That's not just you start something and now you're going back to another job because you didn't make the right decisions in order to build something that would last. And even if the entrepreneur can get to the place where they have some profit, they typically have no time. They have traded away their time for money and now they actually didn't build a business. They actually built themselves a job. A job that they have to show up for every day.
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A
I relate to that. By the way, a lot of what you just said and I think everyone, I'm going to say again, when things are really, really important, it is not that hard to be successful in business or life. By the way, trade. If you're not in business for yourself, trade the 9% that of businesses that succeed just to dream. 9% of dreams dream having the dream relationship, your dream body, your dream emotions, your dream, you know you want to compete for a trial. 91% of dreams are gone within 10 years. Okay. And I've been saying lately, you were at an event where I said it for the first time, that when you are 90% there, you're 50% done.
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B
Yeah.
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A
And I think the other thing that happens is exactly what you just said. The reason success is short term for most people don't succeed at all. But even those that do short term, their desire to grow and learn at the next stage is not quite what it was. They're not starving, they're kind of hungry. Whereas when we start, we're starving. So for me, one of the keys for me, and maybe you can say if it was for you too, is like I had this desire to grow and get better. It expanded as I got more success it didn't retract. What I knew I needed to know was more. I guess as I climbed higher, I didn't think I had it all figured out at some point. What are some of the things that you say in the book, beyond clarity and the money piece of it? Like, in your own case, what did you do to educate yourself about money? Your dad ran a body shop or was a mechanic.
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B
Correct mechanic, yeah.
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A
Okay. And I don't have any background like that. My dad worked in a bank, but I don't have any financial background in my family. What did you actually do physically to learn about money?
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B
I walked into Barnes and Noble and I bought every single book that I could buy about money when I was 18 years old. So I bought Rich Dad, Poor dad, the Smart Women, finished Rich. All of the different books that were there that were all written by men, which is just. This is an interesting thing. Not that that's a bad thing, but it's an interest thing. I literally read every single one of those books, and I was like, all right, don't buy a new car. Great, I'm going to buy this property. So naive. Didn't have anything else to go off of. But I believe these books. And so I just implemented. Because the ideas are not going to change our life. It's the implementation, execution, the action that you take that will. And so I just feel like the only reason I am successful is because I was naive enough to take action in a variety of different ways until they worked out. Because if you take enough hits, eventually you're going to hit some home runs. And so for me, I was reading books and I was implementing. Then business was getting bigger. I was like, all right, what do I do? I'm getting new books. I got good to great. I got. It's not about the coffee. I went and stated a Ritz Carlton for the first time and treated myself. And when I was inside of that, I was like, whoa, what are these? And how do I bring these principles back to my team and our clients? And so then I went and learned and went to events that they put on about customer service and how to interact and elevate language. The way that our team communicated with clients. And it was literally just a student because I had to build this like Candy Valentino is built. This isn't how I was born. This isn't my circumstances. I chose how I want to communicate, how I want to show up for people, how I want people to feel when they're in my presence. Like, those are all choices that we get to make. I think sometimes people don't realize that if you allow that circumstance, if you allow that background, if you allow whatever happened to you that is still running around in your mind, you're giving it so much power. And that power is what's preventing you from creating, creating the life that you want. And I think I was just naive enough to say, why can't I talk like Ed? Why can't I communicate like Tony? Why can't I write a book like Robert? Why can't I do these things? Because when I was a very little girl, I read a statistic that because of my background, because of coming from teenage parents, from growing up in poverty, I read a statistic that I could be 87% chance to be a statistic. Also that I was going to be a teenage mom, that I was going to live in poverty, that I was going to have children that were going to be sexually abused. You have a much greater chance of doing that. But instead of Thinking about the 87%, I said, what about the 13? What do I need to do? Who do I need to become? What actions do I need to take? Because that's all I can control. I can't control all this other stuff, but I can't control me. So what it is that do I need to do? Okay, I need to make some money. I need to make sure that I don't need to depend on someone for money so that I can make choices and get out of bad situations. I need to make sure that I don't get pregnant when I'm really young and a lot of people do and at work out for them. For me in my head that limited my choices. So I started to make all these decisions and craft who I wanted to be so that I could create the life that I couldn't even dream that I have right now.
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A
That was so exceptional. And also just in person watching your face, you're pretty put together most of the time. So to see your face change, thinking about. I want to give a quote back to you that I. I think you need to say more because I thought it was and that is I built this. Now I know you know, you know that that's you and God built this. But you mean you. And I remember it's incredible that you use the term built and I just want to tell you why. When I was a little boy, my one of my favorite. All little boys are this way. All little people are. I loved like superheroes. So there was Superman, Batman and always wanted to be one of those Guys. But the dude that I really wanted to be was Steve Austin. Austin, he was the six million dollar man, the bionic man. Right? And I don't remember the exact phraseology but I remember as a little boy I was small, I'm in a home with an alcoholic and a drug addict. Makes me emotional even now. I have no self esteem. And I also didn't have any. Like there was nothing exceptional about me, you know, I mean I did. I wasn't exceptionally good looking, I wasn't exceptionally athletic, although I was pretty good. I wasn't dumb in school. But there was nothing exceptional about me. And I rem just thinking I am sort of average. Like I was a self aware kid and, and, and my circumstances are way below average. We were on welfare a couple different times and but that Steve Austin would come on and it would say, they would say something like we can build him. And they built this dude into a bionic man. But I remember the word build. I remember it was we can build him or he can. But it was build. And I remember thinking you can build yourself. Like you could build yourself into something. I can build my body, I could build my mind, I can build myself into any character that I want myself to be. And the way that you said that is so profound. Everybody listening to this. And by the way, even if you're relatively happy right now, you can build her, you can build him. There's another level for you. All right. It's that time here. It's cold out. One of my favorite things I've gone back to is hot chocolate. I'm doing that all the time right now. And I love laying on the couch with a blanket on when it's cold out, watching a little football or some Netflix. Yes, I do do those things in my downtime. But you probably need more than that for the cold weather. And that's where the ultimate cold weather necessity company comes in. Quints. With quints you can treat yourself to true quality at an affordable price. Their super soft fleece sweatpants are major upgrade to whatever you're lounging around in right now. They're comfy and cozy. I wore them Sunday watching football. All quince Items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. By partnering directly with top factories and cutting out all the middlemen, Quince passes the savings on to you. Luxuriate and coziness without the luxury price tag. Go to Quince.com ed for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Quince Q-U-I-N-C-E.com ed to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com ed head this show is sponsored by BetterHelp. So what do you want your 2025 to look like? Think about that for a second. Every January brings you 365 blank pages waiting to be filled. And in 2025, you may be ready for a plot twist. Maybe there's a part of your story you've been waiting to revise. And if you ask me what all the guests on my show have in common, not all, but most. They go to therapy or have been to therapy in their life, including me. Life isn't about just sort of navigating things on your own. It's about picking up a pen and being the author of your own story and have God's blessing in your life. Think of therapy as your editorial partner. Help write new chapters and create the meaningful joy you deserve so you don't just keep writing the same chapter over and over again. Better helps fully online, making therapy more affordable and convenient. They have over 5 million people worldwide already using them. Access a diverse network of about 30,000 credentialed therapists. Write your story with Better Help. Visit betterhelp.comedshow to get 10% off your first month. That's Better Help. H E L P.com and I hope you're willing to talk about this because the last time you were here, like more people wanted us to visit about this. When you see you, if people aren't seeing you, like you're always perfectly put together. You're obviously very attractive. You are. Your vocabulary is exceptional. You've made a bunch of money. You have a presence about you when people meet you as well that I've watched. But that isn't who you were before. And I think it's important then to know what you have built and from where. All of us have something probably in our childhood. We're kind of working our way through you and I have talked about that, but not all of it is quite as traumatic or dramatic as what you had to. I think if you just share a little bit about it, if you would and if I wanted to ask you this last time. But when you tell everybody, do you think it's affected you trusting people? Like when I'm around you, there is a. I have it so I ask a warmth, but there's a little bit of a barrier there. Like I'm going to let you get so yeah, close to me. I'm this way. So I see it in other people. I wonder if you'll tell us, explain what happened and do you think it impacted your trust for people or letting them get too close to you? Just, just maybe it's the first time anyone's asked you that.
- [30:54]
B
Yes, it is the first time anyone's asked that and it is very much the truth. I tend to keep everyone kind of at arm's length. I will help and I will serve and I will do. But I'm probably like you too. You don't like to ask for things, you don't like to ask for help. So. And you don't want to let kind of let people in because you leave the wrong person and that can hurt you. Right? That person can hurt you. And I think that when you grow up, up in a very poor environment, you know, we were on welfare, same thing kind of on and off WIC in different programs when I was born until my dad kind of like got his, his footing in the business and, and anytime you're coming from a place like that, like a lot of things can happen and, and I had never talked about going through, you know, abuse as a child until your show is first time I publicly talked about it. And I didn't talk about it for 20 years when it happened to me. Never talked about it, literally just buried it, dissociated from it. Just needed to like build and go forward and just think that I can get myself over this. I don't need to worry about it. Let's just compartmentalize it and go forward. And it had gone on for quite some time. It wasn't like a one time occurrence. And so it was something that I felt like and it was a family member. So it's like that's the person that's supposed to protect you and now your parents can't protect you and now all of this. So you feel very alone. And so for me, what got me through it is I had a very, I didn't know it at the time, but I had a friend that I would often talk to and I would just kind of talk to God. And at the time I didn't know that was God, but I would often just like talk and I would cry and I would process and you know, how can I get through this? What can I do? And there was just always this soft whisper that kind of got me through. And in the moments where I thought nobody was paying attention and I wasn't seen and moments where I felt like I was in a room screaming and no one could hear me, like I would have my dog that would be there for me, and I would have this. This sense of softness that would just kind of comfort me even in those dark moments. And that's what kind of got me through. And I think that that's. That's what still gets me through today. And it's interesting because you think about. It's our story, like, this is my story. It's really not my story at all. It's God's story. And I think everybody that has some sort of trauma or challenge or something that happens in their life, that you think, this is my pain, this is my struggle. It's really not. It's God's struggle through you. And I think that the further that. The more challenge that we have, the further that we get from him, the more he's trying to call you back. And I know in my own life, anytime I thought that this, this, all of this was my doing, I feel like I'm humbly reminded that it's not. And so I do. I genuinely try to show his love towards people, but I don't always accept it back. And I think that's very observant.
- [33:45]
A
I think we're so. We're so alike. I. First off, thank you again for being willing to talk about it. And I did not know that my show was the first time that. That's beautiful. I. The reason I want you to is, like, when you see someone so impressive, it can be easy for people to look at you or listen to you and just like, well, I can't be like her. And then to know, no, no, no, no. There's something, you know, she had to work her way through. And same with me on the God thing. Every once in a while when you're successful, you. You can't help but start thinking, I got this figured out pretty good. And the Lord has a good way of going, okay, we're going to humble you again.
- [34:25]
B
Oh, yeah.
- [34:26]
A
But you do give that. What do you think that is, by the way? I didn't know we're going to go there, but let's work on this together in front of everybody. Me too. On the not accepting love from people. Oh, your face just changed. But so I am really, I think, really good at loving other people and making them feel loved, but I'm not good at, I mean, truly feeling it. And by the way, like you, I have people around me that really love me.
- [34:53]
B
Yeah.
- [34:54]
A
But I don't always. Let me rephrase. To be candid, I almost never fully allow myself to feel that for some reason. And you say you're that way too. Why do you think that it. Or are you still that way? And if you are, why do you. Why is that? That we're like, what is that?
- [35:13]
B
Yeah, I think that that's some unhealed pain. And I don't know that all pain can be healed. I don't know that there's ever a solution. Right. I think a lot of times we go through pain, we go through fires. And yes, that fire is for you. Yes, the pain is. Can become part of that story. But I don't necessarily know that all of it can be healed personally. There could be some psychologists, you know, watching and saying, she's in. She's completely incorrect. That's not my field. But I don't, I. And I also don't know that it's 100% of a negative feeling. Right. I really don't like. I think that there is sometimes people too openly share and to openly receive. And I think that that also goes in line with that. You know, if you give too much of the world to define who are. And you, they share love with you and they shower you with get well the second the tide turns and now everybody hates you. Now you're the one that's doing horrible things, jumping off a building, and you're. I've seen that. I've seen people that have defined their worth around money or around what people see them as. And I'm thinking of a gentleman specifically who lost millions of dollars in the 2008 crash, couldn't come to terms with himself and killed himself. Like, that's to me, when it becomes toxic the other way.
- [36:28]
A
You're right. You know, I have to tell you, the one thing for me of not getting it from other people is I have given myself the grace of getting it from God.
- [36:37]
B
Yes.
- [36:37]
A
And so it is. It's kind of interesting. I never thought about it till you just said it. But, like, I do get it one place do get it from God. And I, I wonder, enough it is. Is it enough? It is enough. At the same time, I think the people that love us want to see that love reflected in us and, and, and give us the gift that we give them. So sometimes I think maybe the people around me are like, would you just let me more? Would you just accept it some more? And so I think anything is, by the way, just talking about this is good growth. Right? There's people listening, going, wow, we're talking about, you know, 9% of businesses now. We're talking about this But I do think, you know, in my case, you know, when you say this in the book, so might as well weave business in as we go. But you say in the book, I'll read you the, you say business decisions are like people, some are forever and some are just for a season. And that's true with people. So let's weave that in. Because one thing that's been good about my love of other people, but not always receiving it, is I, I have accepted a long time ago that most people, most people are going to be in my life for a season. And only a very small few. Remember when my dad passed, you know, was in that room with him, his wife and his children and his last moments. And of all the people that came in and out of my father's life, at the end of it, it was his precious family, you know, and that was a great lesson for me of the crowds and the noise and your pals, all that. And I, I, I'm okay with that. Now what about that as it relates to you and or business? Because it's one of the points in the book.
- [38:15]
B
Yeah, I think that, well, with business, I think it's a lot simpler because with business, oftentimes it's kind of what you're talking about. What's hard work in the beginning, what's hard work now? Like, what does that look like? How does it evolve? And I think sometimes business decisions like, okay, we're doing this in marketing, we're going to run this marketing strategy. And then they oftentimes business owners think they just keep running that and they're going to get the same result or better result, but it's not, that's not the case. Right. It has to evolve with where you are because it's not always the information that's important, it's the information, how it applies to your business, where you are in the build. And so I think with business it's pretty simple. Like a lot of the business decisions that you're making right now for any entrepreneurs or will just take life also for anybody that wants to achieve another level of life, life. Take a look at some of the decisions you have been making and saying, does this decision still get me closer to or is it taking me further away from my actual vision that I have for my life, my business, my family, whatever. Insert your word there. And so business decisions always need to be evaluated and I think people do too. And this is a really tough thing to talk about because I know everyone's to feel like warm and fuzzy and it's but there are a lot of people that just want to be your friend friend because they can get something from you.
- [39:23]
A
Amen.
- [39:23]
B
Right. And I think that. And now unfortunately, social media has caused this like almost admiration of it where you should surround yourself by these five people and they should take you higher. That's kind of like social ladder climbing to me. I think it's kind of gross to be honest. Right. Like you should be around people. That is a friendship is someone that can equally contribute to your life. It's not a one way thing that you get something something from. Right. That's again, seeking validation from some other way. Like I don't want to be your friend because you have a big podcast. Like when I reached out to you about like, hey, are you good? Do you need anything? Like it was just genuinely you mentioned coming over. I was like, cool, I'll come over. I was actually checking on your health. I know, you know, like, so I think that's just when you genuinely care about people, if something comes of it, they come of it. But otherwise you can sniff it out. And I think because we've both experienced that, we do have a little bit of a guard up. Yeah, I think that that's okay because the people that are really meant to be there for the long haul will be.
- [40:20]
A
Do you think this time you and I were talking about us at another event that I did that you helped at as a friend twice, by the way. So I'm very grateful for that. You are such a giving person. How high is the interest rate for the new Laurel Road High Yield Savings Account? This. This high. The air is really, really thin up here. The Laurel Road Very High Yield Savings Account. Variable annual percentage yield APY is subject to change at any time. No minimum balance required. Fees may reduce earnings on the account. For full terms and conditions, see LaurelRoad.com Savings LaurelRoad is a brand of KeyBank Member FDIC. Do you feel like forget politics for a second. But it is important. Last time you were on I was like, hey, are we in a recession? How do you feel about things right now overall? Like as we're recording this, it's the first Monday of 2025. It'll come out in early 2025 and at any time someone's watching this. But like, you know, there's a new president being inaugurated here in the next couple weeks. Forget what you think of him. And if you're listening to this, who cares what you think about that? But what do you think about the climate business wise, that we're going to see over the next, let's just say two years and four years.
- [41:40]
B
Oh, my gosh. I think it's going to be. If the administration, again, I don't care if you like them or not, I just say this is the situation we're going to be in. How do we navigate through it?
- [41:49]
A
Right.
- [41:50]
B
Just like we did in 2022. This is a situation we're in. How do we navigate through it? And we need to identify and shift those decisions because they're drastically different now. So if the current administration that's coming in very soon is able to pull off a lot of the promises that they're sharing, which is lowering taxation, which is investing in infrastructure, drilling, a lot of this stuff being a very pro bitcoin and other type of investing administration, we are going to see massive. Now we're going to see massive shifts in the business climate because for the first time ever, we'll be able to compete with other companies internationally if we're able to lower that corporate tax rate down to 15 to 18%, depending on what it goes to. And any business owner listening, you also want to think about this, that if it goes through, you may want to look at restructuring your business. You may want to look at, you know, maybe you're an S corp, you might want to be a C corp. There's a lot of things that are going to happen that have never happened before. And if those come through, we need to be diligent about it and making sure that we're making the right decisions. Because I do think that taxation is going to be lowered. I mean, you can't look at 2016-2020. It's such a unique thing if we think about it. Right. It's like the CEO of a company that we already has a CEO.
- [43:01]
A
Yeah.
- [43:01]
B
It's like we get to look and see what did the company do, do, what decisions did he make, where did he invest in people or in processes? Like, we can really look at that and say, okay, we can extrapolate that since this happened, this is probably going to happen to about 75%.
- [43:16]
A
Yeah.
- [43:16]
B
And that's where we need to start investing. That's where we need to start looking in our business. Being able to leverage a lot of the things that are coming, I think is really important. I think that we are going to go into a pro business climate.
- [43:28]
A
Yeah.
- [43:29]
B
So I think it's going to be really great for entrepreneurs. And if they cut everything that they're saying that they're going to cut, I think it may Affect the market a little bit. We may see a little bit of sideways for the first couple just trying to figure it out. Certain areas of course are skyrocketing. They already have since just the election went through. But there's going to be some sideways stuff because you can't cut all the jobs that they're talking to cut and you can't reduce the government to the size without it having some ripple effects in the economy. So we'll see how that shakes out. But one interesting fact is prior to about 100 years ago, all of our country's revenue came from tariffs. There was no income tax. It wasn't until 1913 that income tax even came became a law. So they're talking about all of these tariffs and implementing them again. Just like he did in the four years from 2016 to 2020. He wasn't able to do everything that he said because he didn't have control of everything. Now he does. So shifting our country from not needing as much in tax to bringing in more tariffs, much like the country did for many, many years, is a really great shift for business owners and for families.
- [44:33]
A
Do you think everybody, so everyone looks at entrepreneurship through the prism. I'm going to start a business based on what you just said. Do you think that people should be considering buying one?
- [44:45]
B
Oh, I love, I love that. Actually it was one of the things we talked about at your event is like if you're looking to grow your business, your revenue, obviously you can go acquire more customers, you can sell more to your existing custom, you can get them to buy more frequently from you. And those two things will obviously cost a lot less than acquiring new customers. But you can also go buy revenue. That's what I call it. Go buy revenue from a competitor from another business that's going out of business in again. Back in the late 90s when I started, there was less than one half of 1% of female owned businesses were acquired. But less than 20% of all businesses were ever acquired. And that stat is still true today. If anything, it might be slightly worse because our focus has been so much on Instagram and influencers and YouTube that a lot of, a lot of young people aren't going into things that I think are actually the recession proof businesses.
- [45:39]
A
Like what?
- [45:40]
B
Like home services, H Vac, roofing, electricians, plumbers, hair. I mean hairstylists today are making six figures plus just not even working crazy insane hours. You know, you've also got things like, like bookkeeping and taxes. It's why I started a company like that. I mean, because there is so much consistent revenue in that and a lot of people aren't going into those lines of, of work and that's where the millionaires are going to come from.
- [46:06]
A
I totally agree with you, by the way, I, the trades are back and owning businesses in there and, and by the way, in my own case, I'll just, you know, be transparent with everybody. I'm probably not going to start any new businesses the next four or five years, but I am going to buy some. And I know a lot of you were listening, going, well, that helps that you have cash. You'd be surprised with the stat she just gave you. About 80 of businesses aren't sold. That means someone who's got a business is trying to find a way to exit it. Seller financing is more people are more open to that right now than you might imagine, especially because rates have gone up a little bit. So if they can go get 5, 6, 7, 8% on their money and you buy their business, they're open to it. So the only thing to buy with debt is not real estate, even though you've bought a bunch and I bought a bunch. But if you watch social media, you'd swear the only place that you can get seller finance and the only place you can get a business partner, an investor is to buy a property. But I want a lot of you, I'm going to start to do a little bit more content on this. These same people that you would approach to help you fund a real estate project may want to partner with you on a business that has current cash flow right away. And so people like me, I don't, I'm not going to, I might buy some more property, but I have that I'd like to acquire revenue streams in businesses and small. So you know that seller financing, it's finding an investor partner, someone like myself, don't discount that. Everybody. There's a lot of lanes for you that are open right now, right?
- [47:28]
B
I've sold two with creative financing deal where I became the bank.
- [47:33]
A
Amen.
- [47:33]
B
I got interest rate. And this is for the person listening that's like, wait, what do you mean someone's going to give me their business without having to pay them millions of dollars for the seller, there are a lot of benefits because if you don't have it structured the right way and you didn't set up the business right in the beginning, you may get crushed in taxes. So for me, I'm like, hey, do you want to do this over five years? You don't have to pay me at all. Now give it to me five years. Every single month, I get to collect interest on my money. I don't get crushed in taxes after the exit. They win because they didn't have to go get a big loan and have all of the risk. The seller is okay because if they default, I take the business back and it's typically stuck into real estate. So you get both back and you get to rinse and repeat and resell it again.
- [48:14]
A
Did everyone just hear that? Okay, because I want you to look at it on my side as the seller of a business. How brilliantly right she is is one. Maybe we do an installment sale so that I'm not getting killed on taxes right away. But secondly, let's say I sold you my business. I want everybody just to understand what Candy's saying right now. And you cash me out and I got a million dollars or $100,000, what am I going to do with that capital? I'm probably not working anymore. So I'm retiring. So what I'm going to do, I'm going to put it in bonds or put in the bank right now at the time of this recording. That means I'm going to get 4% on my money. Whereas I might be able to sell or finance you at 8 or 9% on the same money. Money. And if you don't deliver, I'll take the business back from you. So this is. This is stuff that a lot of you that are driving your car. I want to own a business, but I don't want to start one. There are businesses to be bought and sold. Where you live in this. In the type of structure that she's describing. I feel like I interrupted you there, and I didn't mean to do that.
- [49:07]
B
No. And it's so much easier. Like there's. I don't know why starting a business has become so sexy, because it really wasn't 25 years ago. It's like really hard and you really have to grind and you have to build it. If you can acquire something, even if it's not highly profitable, even if it's not super huge, but there is consistent revenue, there's great retention in the business and the clients that they have. And maybe they don't market great, but you can market really well. Maybe they're not creating any content, but you know how to create content because you're a little younger. Oh, my gosh. Hand over fist, buy those businesses up before you start your own.
- [49:42]
A
You're so right. Because let's just. I want to just Rift on this just for a second. First off, they've survived the phase of failure.
- [49:48]
B
Yes.
- [49:49]
A
Which means that you've now eliminated that risk off the table. Table. Right. Number two, what did we say earlier? Most people don't stay hungry as they get a little bit of success. So the vast majority of these people, they've already survived the failure phase and they haven't been hungry for 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 years. So there is room. Like when we buy apartment buildings, you or I or a house, what are we trying to do? We're trying to buy it under market and we're trying to find a way to improve the property so we can raise rents. That's the same thing when you buy a business is you want to find a place where there's value adds, where you can improve the quality of the business, business quickly. And there's way more room to do that in owning a business than there is in a building because that business, the building business is so saturated. So do you agree with that?
- [50:32]
B
Like 100. We didn't get to chat about this, but I literally liquidated half of my real estate because, because it's just like, why? Like you're only going to get a very small percentage. And I feel like I held them for so long, I pretty much got everything I could get out of them. It's time. Time to send them on their way and just look at acquiring revenue.
- [50:51]
A
Yep, I totally am with you. And by the way, if two entrepreneurs are talking like this, that means this is a space for some of you to be considering. Or if you already own a business, acquiring a competitor, acquiring somebody who's got a vertical product who's connected to you. You don't get this on other podcasts. By the way. Everybody, last question about business and then we'll probably have to wrap things up. And now you know why I wanted candy. Back on the show, we've talked about how entrepreneurship has become this really sexy thing and it isn't, it just isn't like the day to day life of an entrepreneur. I hate to say this, but it's like pretty miserable most of the time with little moments and flickers of success and happiness. And so having said all of that, A, is it worth it what you've done? And B, totally different question. Just let you take the floor with it. Should everybody be doing this or is it okay to be like a number 2 or a 3 inside someone else's dream?
- [51:47]
B
It's a great question. And I, I always say entrepreneurship in a nutshell is like Figuring that you have everything figured out and it's the highest of highs and figuring like you know nothing and it's the lowest of lows, all within five minutes. But it is not for everyone. I'll start with the second question first. I do not think it's for everyone. And I think that you can be a great employee, a number two, a number five, or even just have a couple side jobs and you can still do great if you live, live beneath your means, and you invest the heck out of the money that you make. And what the problem is, most people don't do that. They don't want the business, so they stay in the role that they're in, but they don't invest. And they are seeing and consuming social media and they're spending too much money on things that they don't should not be buying to impress people that don't even know them. Like, that is literally how you do not become rich. So you can absolutely be successful in any other role. And I would often offer that it's a lot easier of a life, I mean, way easier if you stay an employee, even if you want to do something on the side in your evenings or your weekends. But I always like to preface, because I think sometimes people hear podcasts and they see people like us where we're intense and we've obviously built so much of it on ourselves by our effort and through God and our teams. But I think they think that this is the only way.
- [53:07]
A
Yeah.
- [53:07]
B
And I don't ever want anyone to hear me and think that this is the only way. I am not, not glamorizing entrepreneurship. It's why you won't see me doing photo shoots. And all this stuff that I see some people do drives me insane on social media because I think that it's when you do it right and you take care of your customers and you take care of your team and you really care about putting a great product in the world. It is like the weight of the world on your shoulders every day. And I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't change it for the world, for you, for me, because I'm built like that. I believe that if I growing up the way that I grew up, up dealing with a lot of the stuff, and I mean, we talk about my childhood, but I also, I took those toxic behaviors and brought them into new relationships, right? Like I, without realizing it, was choosing men that had similar experiences or similar behaviors to that toxicity that I was used to. Right? So there was a lot of that that I Don't normally talk about that. I made some poor decisions about. I always say for every great business and investing decision, I made one bad relationship decision. So that happened. That's true. And I think for me, if I didn't. If I didn't bury myself in business, I think I would have made a lot of bad choices in my life. I think for me, it was a way. It was like my addiction was work, and at least that was much healthier than all the alternatives that I saw other people going after. So for me, I think it was. It was the healthiest route for me to take. It was the best route for me to take. I love how, how, you know, even my childhood made me this person that I feel like building a business that's nothing after coming out of poverty and experiencing what I went through and going through this and that. Like, building a business and creating wealth is literally nothing when you compare it to this other stuff. And I think that people also need to hear that, that if you feel that you're feeling it on your heart that you either want to start a business, you want to grow your business, or maybe you just want to start investing and you want to keep your job because you love it. Like, I want you to just know that nothing that happened to you prior, no challenge that you face, no circumstances that you went through is going to prevent you from doing that. If anything, if you really will allow it, it will give you the fuel in order to achieve it more easily, better and faster than anybody else. Like, I truly believe that those circumstances that we go through is what creates us to be this. This person that can achieve anything, Anything. And I always say, like, so often we forget about what we went through. And I don't know if I talked about this the first time we were here, but if it's okay, I just want to share. I call it your proof paper. And so I always say, if you're listening right now, you. You're watching and you're like, okay, there's this really thing they're talking. It's hitting my heart, whatever it is, but I don't know, right? There's a but. But I don't know if I can or I don't know if I should or what would anybody think? I want you to take a sheet of paper right now and I want you to pull it out and I want you to write every single thing, thing that was sent your way to destroy you, every challenge that you faced, every circumstance, every adversity, whether it was six months, six years, 16 years ago that you didn't think you were going to get through, but you're still here. And whenever you doubt next, this next thing that you're going to do, I want you to pull out that page and I want you to review those things and remember who the heck you are and how God made you. So to me, I have a proof page, paper, and every single time, write a book. Oh, my gosh. I don't know how to write a book. Oh, my gosh. I did this. I did this. I did this. Writing a book is nothing. And so I think everybody needs that and they need to be reminded of who they are, what they've gone through, and what they can accomplish next.
- [56:47]
A
What an exceptional conversation. You're welcome, everybody. This was extraordinary today. You're awesome. We're so similar. I think that's why we're becoming such good friends. That proof paper, man. I hope everyone stuck around to the end because that was so good. Thank you, Candy.
- [57:03]
B
Thank you.
- [57:03]
A
It was awesome.
- [57:04]
B
Before we wrap, I just want to say this. Everyone could be listening to any podcast. They could be tuning in to watch anybody, but there are very few people in this space that are real and that are true and that are kind and they're caring. And most people, when you meet them in real life, you actually wish that you didn't. Right? They always say, don't meet your heroes. And I can honestly say that you are better as a friend and in real life and front stage, then even people get the opportunity to meet you. So I just want to thank you for being. For being you.
- [57:36]
A
Thank you.
- [57:37]
B
I always say if I want, if I had a big brother, I would wish it would be Ed. So thank you for being you and thank you for leading people in the right way. And we're all flawed and we're all human, but, man, just to see someone show up for people is really rare. So thank you for being you.
- [57:50]
A
That means the world to me. So thank you so much. That's so beautiful.
- [57:53]
B
Thank you.
- [57:54]
A
Get the 9% edge. Get the book and the planner, everybody. It'll help you. It'll help you get organized. It'll help you plan to help you stay and be in the 9% share today's episode because every single week, we've been the fastest growing show on the planet because all of you share it and we're very grateful for that. God bless you. Max Out. This is the Ed Milan show.