← THE ED MYLETT SHOW
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- [00:00]
Ed Mylett
An all new season of the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney. Mom talk has just been blowing up. Whitney and Jen are on Dancing with the Stars. Taylor is a bachelorette. Saying that out loud is crazy. Like that is huge. But all the cool opportunities could pull us apart. It's causing issues in everyone's marriage. My whole world is falling apart right now.
- [00:21]
Demar Hamlin
It's chaos.
- [00:22]
Sean Casey
Watch the Hulu original series, the Secret
- [00:24]
Ed Mylett
Lives of Mormon Wives, now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney. For bonus subscribers. Terms apply. You said you were over him, but his hoodie's still in your rotation. It's time. Grab your phone, snap a few pics and sell it on Depop. List it in minutes with no selling fees. And just like that, a guy 500 miles away just paid full price for your closure. And right on cue.
- [00:48]
Nick Sanitasasso
Hey, still got my hoodie?
- [00:49]
Ed Mylett
Nope. But I've got tonight's dinner paid for. Start selling on Depop, where taste recognizes taste list. Now with no selling fees, payment processing fees and boosting fees still apply. See website for details.
- [01:00]
Demar Hamlin
Foreign
- [01:05]
Ed Mylett
this is the Ed Show. Hey, everyone. Welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Now, on with the show. All right, welcome back to the show, everybody. So grateful you decided to join me again this week. And I just really feel like this week's going to be special. As I was preparing my message for the week, I just felt really good about sharing these thoughts with you. This week is really more about perspective and focusing on how blessed we are in our lives. And we often lose. We lose track of that. We lose perspective with all the stressors of daily life and all the things that are coming our way at any given time, whether that be what's going on in the world politically or the geopolitics going around the globe, or our own financial issues or relationship strife, or uncovering trauma from our lives and emotions and all the stuff that comes Bills to pay, appointments to have, places to get things to do, stuff you got to have an opinion on, things to worry about. We can lose perspective on how blessed we are to be here, especially during these times. This is the greatest time ever to be alive. Access to the most information. We're the most connected in some ways we've ever been through technology, you could argue in some ways personally disconnected, which I'll talk about today. But we're really Blessed. You are really blessed. And just for a little while today, let's just talk about you and just give you some perspective on you and your life that maybe you need. Certainly I needed preparing for it today. You know, just being born in general, I mean, I know you go, all right, I know I won the contest. No, no, no. Don't you think about this just for a second. Where you come from, you, you know, we never do. We never really stop and think about us. Us. You know, those of you that go to church like I do, you have that occasional time on Sundays when you go, it's once a week or your Bible study to reflect. That's usually just one perspective, which is your relationship with God, which is the most important perspective. Obviously, if you watch my work, you know that I feel that way. But let's just break it down to you just for a second and how much God really has blessed you. You know, in order to be born, you needed two parents. This is where you come from. Just think this through, how miraculous it is that we got to you, that you exist. You needed two parents. You needed four grandparents. That means you had eight great grandparents, 16 great great grandparents, 32 third great grandparents, 64 fourth great grandparents. Think about that for a second. 64 people to you, 128 fifth great grandparents, 256 sixth great grandparents, 512 seventh great grandparents, and 1024 eighth great grandparents. Is that amazing? We keep going. 2048 ninths. Over the past 12 generations, spanning about 400 years, you needed a total of about 4,094 ancestors to come into existence. You are the result of thousands of lives, choices, and sacrifices that came before you. In many of your cases, you come from absolute bravery in your ancestry, tragedy, atrocities that have happened, and you come from that. I know you're very, very proud of maybe where you come from or your ethnicity or maybe your parents or great grandparents. But have you ever thought about the thousands of lives that had to exist, that were shaped to you and now we're to you? This reminds us of how precious and unique just our existence is. It's a gift shaped by generations of ancestors. I want to challenge you today to just give that some thought. These thousands of people that are yours that you've never met before, that lived lives before you, that their cell memory passed on to you. The scriptures talk about the sins of the Father and the blessings moving through generations, and that no matter what's happened in your family in this generation, you can change your bloodline forever. You can in every family. I Talk about there being the one that changes a family. I want to challenge you with these 4000 ancestors of years that's led to today to honor their legacy by living with purpose and gratitude. Because someday someone's going to be thousands of people removed from you. You know, I've been having these dreams the last year about my granddaughter. She's not been born, and as far as I know, neither one of my kids are even close to having a baby. But I've been having these dreams about her and I've been thinking about all the things I do every day and how that's going to impact her life. Someday. She'll have a granddaughter, I imagine, and just the legacy of what I do every day, what you do every day, and how this thing is much bigger than us. We forget that, don't we? Don't we forget how much bigger this is than us? I know I do from time to time. And what a blessing it is. I was at an event recently and it was a VIP room, and this mother had won. And she brought her. Instead of her husband coming, she brought her son, who was 25 years old. And they all got to ask me a question. And he said, Mr. Mylett, if you could come back in time and talk to the 25 year old you now that you're almost 55 years old. I'm 53, you know, what would you, what advice would you give you at 25? I really thought about it for a minute and I said, you know, I'm going to tell you something very honestly. Number one, I would tell me that I'm as young and as healthy as I'll ever be in my life, more than likely right now, and that this is the greatest time of my life. I said, you know, young man, I've been able to accumulate hundreds of millions of dollars of net worth, and I've been able to have all the material things in life you would probably ever want. You know, jets and islands and houses and just I've been really blessed. For a dude who grew up, started out on welfare, that's pretty cool. Alcoholic dad, you know, God's been really good to me. I said, but let me say something to you. I would give you all of that back. If I could be 25 years old again, I'd give it all back to you. And I said, by the way, 10 years from now, I will be 63 years old and probably wealthier than I am now. And I would trade every dollar that I'll make between 53 and 63, I promise you, when I get to 63, I'd give all of that money back if I could go back and be 53 years old again. And I'd give you all I got right now to go back and be 25 years old again. And so time is the greatest blessing. Youth is the greatest blessing. No matter what age you are, you're as young and as healthy as you're ever going to be. And having some understanding of how incredible this moment is that you're not one of the 80% of the people that live on earth today that don't have clean water, that you've had three meals today and I know you go, yeah, that's great. I've heard this, you know, I know I got a blanket and a place to live. No, you don't. The things that you worry about every single day that you have made larger than life, that are stealing your joy, that seems so big in this moment, that won't matter at all 10 years from now or on your deathbed, that won't matter at all in those moments you let rule your life, you let become these big, huge things when 4,000 people had to exist for just to get to you. And someday you're going to have that granddaughter or great granddaughter that looks to your legacy. Some of them won't even ever know you, but you will have made a difference in their lives. You will have changed their bloodline forever. And to understand what a blessing it is to be alive in this moment, have a shot, have some hope, have a gift. I've had multiple friends in the last several weeks. One of my dearest friends just found out that she's got she had melanoma and she's found out. Now, most of you know this is a public thing. Teddy Mellencamp, my friend, has found out she's had melanoma for years. Well, then she's found that it spread to her brain and had, I've seen the images, these plum sized tumors in her brain. Three in one spot, two in another and had them removed. She's got this scars on her head and then fluid on and unbelievable pain. And she's got this precious family. And prior to that, she'd been going through some real things in her life. And it's just perspective on what really matters in life. So I'm having a bad day compared to what someone today woke up and lost the love of their life, Right? Someone didn't wake up today. The Bible says in 1 Peter 5, verse 10, and that the God of all grace, who's Called you to his internal glory in Christ. After you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you firm and steadfast. Life can be heavy. But if you'll just wait around long enough, it's not unbearable, right? When it feels unbearable, pain will linger. And prayers can be answered in your life. But take heart. Suffering is not the end of your story. Here's the truth. You're playing with house money. You can't lose. You can't lose. If you're a person of faith, you know where you're going. You know how the story ends. In the meantime, you're playing with house money. Play your hand. Not everybody gets the same hand, but you got a hand to play. And people with worse hands than you have won. You can't lose. I. Listen, one thing I know, when this whole game's over, as long as I get to go to heaven someday, I can't lose. He already died for me. The case has been made. I'm just running up the score. By the way, I know how a lot of you like I get these mess ed. I'm slipping. It's like a rope. I'm slipping. It's slipping. I feel like I'm slipping. Tie a knot. Tie a knot and hold on for a while. Please, I'm serious. You don't always have to be climbing. Sometimes you got to tie the knot and just hold on. When it feels like life slipping away. This left you. That relationship's gone, that money's gone. That business is gone. Tie a knot and hold on for one more day. The power of one more is real. My book is real. Tie a knot, hold on for one more day, Catch your breath, and then start climbing again. Just don't quit for one more day. You got one more in you. I can promise you the greatest blessing of your life is one more day. You know, when my dad got cancer, my dad was a man's man. I'll never forget. If you hear my voice, you know, my dad had. My voice, had this deep voice. And my dad got cancer and he says, hey, look, I just got to tell you, here's what's happened. And, you know, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to fight it once. That's what he told me. I'm going to fight it once. I'll do the chemo thing, the surgery. I'll fight it one time. But, Eddie, I'm not going on one of these. You know, year after year, you get all shriveled up, you're getting Sick, your hair, all that. I'm not doing that whole routine, but I will fight it once. And I remember saying, hey, dad, that's fair. I actually understand that. I might not either, but I will fight it once is what my dad said. That's not what happened. He fought it for eight years. Multiple surgeries, multiple chemos, radiation, proton therapy, experimental chemo, and everything that he said he didn't want to have happen happened. He did shrivel up. He was vomiting blood. He did go through times where he couldn't breathe and had to have help breathing. He did lose his hair. His skin did change. He did get lesions. And I'd go, dad, why are you going through this? You literally said you'd only do it once, that you didn't want to go through all this suffering. And he goes, eddie, I'm not suffering. I'm in pain. But suffering, you choose. I'm not suffering. I got to have dinner with mom again tonight. That's not suffering. I'm in some pain. He goes, here's what I didn't know, son. Please remember this, and I'm going to share this with you. The words of a man dying of cancer. He said, here's what I didn't know, man. I get emotional telling you this. He goes, I didn't know what it would be like to actually face not having one more day with my family. Sounds good in theory. You know, I'll fight it once, but I'm not going to. And he goes, Until I realized I won't get to have another night with your mom. I won't have one more time to talk to you, my best friend. I won't talk to my daughters or see them or hug my daughters, because you know you'll do anything to get one more day once you're threatened to not have one. One more day with your family. Because, Eddie, I'll do anything. Heck, maybe I'll get to my granddaughter's weddings. Maybe I'll go see Max play golf one more time. I'll do anything to say, play, see Max play one more time. Remember my dad showed up to one of Max's golf tournaments after a really rough treatment round. It was a very hot day. In fact, I left that day. It was so hot, my dad walked the entire 18 holes to watch my son play golf. Had just been through brutal chemo, all 18 holes. In his 70s, struggling with all of the poison in his body from the chemo. And he watched every shot all day long. I didn't. My dad did. And the reason was he Goes, I don't know if I'll ever get to see Max play golf again. I'll do anything to get to watch him play one more time. Anything to see little Jack play basketball again or Brett or Blake play baseball. Love to get to my daughter's wedding, my granddaughter's wedding. And so the greatest gift is one more day with your family. Don't wait around until you're threatened with not getting any more to realize that. Listen, here's the truth. You get the life you focus on. If you want a life where it's stress and worry and down and you're a victim and it's pain and it's depressing, you can get it. Just look around for it. It's there. Or you can have a life of blessing and gratitude and bliss. And I'm not saying you can't even have both, because I don't live on the side where I just get all the good. I get a little bit of both. I like the contrast. I do see pain and hurt. It was horrible when my dad passed away. It has been horrible struggling with my health this year, but I got another day. I got to wake up and see my beautiful family. I got to wake up and do this with you today. So you know what, everybody? I really appreciate the comments about, you know, I've gotten a lot leaner and built more muscle this year. And it was really intentional. And I was thinking, how can I get ahead, you know, on my fitness? Because I'm already pretty fit and worked out and it was how I'm eating. And that's where factor came in. Factor doesn't ask you to meal prep or follow recipes. It just removes the entire problem. Two minutes, real food. Bam, done. And so once I started eating healthier and using factor, not only did I get a lot leaner, but I built more muscle. And the truth is, guys, I had more energy. So one other thing I like is got to tell you, you can rotate the meals every single week. There's like 100 different meals. High protein, calorie, smart, mediterranean. It's awesome. You should be using factor just like I am. Head to factor meals.com myletfaction50off and use code my let50off to get 50% off your first factor box plus free breakfast for a year offer only valid for new customers with code and qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase. Make healthier eating easy with Factor. Dell PCs with Intel Inside are built for the moments that matter. For the moments you plan and the ones you don't. Built for the busy Days that turn into all night study sessions. The moment you're working from a cafe and realize every outlet's taken. The times you're deep into your flow and the absolute last thing you need is an auto update throwing off your momentum. That's why Dell builds tech that adapts to the way you actually work. Built with long lasting battery so you're not scrambling for the closest outlet and built in intelligence that makes updates around your schedule, not in the middle of it. They don't build tech for tech's sake, they build it for you. Find technology built for the way you work@dell.com xp ps built for you. I, I, I have way more than I would ever ask for in my life. By the way. Look how far you've come. I'm talking to you. Look how far you've already come. Look what you've already overcome in your life. Just look at you. You're freaking incredible. You don't give yourself enough credit. Now am I saying accept everything about you that's not any good? Absolutely not. But your filter of life matters. Have you forgotten all you've overcome already? Have you forgotten all you've been through and still standing? Maybe a little wobbled, maybe a little hurt, maybe, maybe more injured than you've ever been, maybe wounded, but you're still standing. You still got one more day. These 4,000 people's lives, generation after generation after generation after generation after generation that sacrificed and suffered probably for you to be here. And I promise you, 20 years from now, you'll trade everything that you have 20 years from now to come back to this moment, right now and to be you again. And to be young. Well, however young you are, 75 years young or 15 years young, listening to this, you're as young and as healthy as you probably are ever going to be. And everything you need is within you right now to be happy and to win. You're going to get that life. You see that? You filter in. There's so much for you to be blessed about. You woke up today with another breath. Thank you God. Thank you God for another day. What a gift. Now what am I going to do with it? Open up that gift. It's a present. I want you to know this. Everything you need is within you to be happy and to win. You've just got to dig it out. You've got to find it. You got to tap into it. And you cannot tap into that when you are in victim mode. You cannot tap into that when you're licking your wounds. You tap into that when you're in gratitude, when you're in strength, when you walk boldly with your faith, whatever your faith is, just listen to me right now. I'm going to express it through my faith. But out of respect to you, I say this to you with whatever your faith is, but in my faith as a Christian, his hands are not just holding you, they're rebuilding you. The storm you are facing will not destroy you. It will refine you. The clouds clear, they go away, the darkness eventually dissipates, and you're going to end up standing much bolder, much more steadfast, much stronger, a whole lot more confident when this thing blows over. And just know this, he's never going to let you go. You're in the palm of his hand at any time, all the time. Just hold on. Tie the knot. Hold on for one more day. God is working in your life. He is going to shape something beautiful out of this mess, out of your trials, out of your tribulations. Your trial is a trial. He is trying you. You say, well, why is it that we have to go through these things? All that stuff's answered later. All I know is I think it's to draw us closer to him. All I know is that other people are depending on you. There's someone out there right now who's depending on you, stepping up, that needs you. Maybe it's someone in your family. Maybe it's someone in your friend circle. Maybe it's a client or a customer. Maybe it's somebody you haven't met yet and won't meet for a decade. But I can tell you I didn't know that when I was a little boy. The lessons I was learning from my dad's alcoholism and drug addiction would somehow serve people 30 and 40 years later. God's infinite wisdom, he's holding you in this hand, going, I'm going to turn this into something awesome. But you got to believe that. And you got to hold on. It's not slipping away. You're stronger than you think. This is going to rebuild you. You are going to be remade. There is a purpose to your pain. Look for it, my beautiful friend. You're a miracle, right? Isn't this cool? And right now, in a thought, you can change your life. In one decision, you can change your life. Now, a lot of people are quoting me lately on Instagram and evidently in all their memes, but you can go back 30 years ago and you will see me talking about one decision will change your life. You can go back a book 15 years ago. I'm not saying I coined the phrase or I own it, but dadgum it, I've been talking about this for a long time. You're one decision away from changing your life. Remember this. Your decisions shape your destiny. Your decisions shape your destiny. You can make a whole new decision right now to see a different life, to focus on a different life, to make different decisions, to change that filter. You can make a decision today to change your mindset, to work on you, to rise from the ashes of where you are. You can make a decision that you're blessed, that you're favored, that there's a purpose to your pain. Or you can just let the world come at you some more. You can be a victim. You can just always react all the rest of your life rather than step up and start dictating the terms. You can be alone all your life, or you can be with God all the time. And by the way, all that is is your awareness because he's with you whether you realize it or not. You're in the palm of his hand anyway. What if you just started to give it up? All your worries, all your fears, all your to him and just started to play the game with house money because it ends the same way. Oh, by the way, I have news for you. You're not getting out of this alive. It ends for all of us the same way. It ends so we know the end. What we don't know is what happens between now and then. And hopefully you do know what happens after. But in the meantime, all we have is this moment right now. The past that does not exist. It's a figment of your imagination. You go, no, no, I know exactly what happened. I'm just telling you. You're not living it now. You're imagining it. You're not living it. Now. You may try to as best you can. You can't live the past and the future. That's just a wish. You know, a bunch of people woke up this morning about 6 o', clock, had all these big bold plans for their day. They had a big future ahead. And for some of them, by noon, they're on their way to heaven. All you have is this moment. And it's a beautiful moment. It's a blessed moment. And so many people have sacrificed for you to be here today. Will you sacrifice for the next generation? Will you sacrifice for them? Will you make a difference? See, the pain of what you're going to go through to make your dreams come true is so much less than the pain you will feel if you don't lifelong regret. To get to the end of a life and look back on it and it's a life unlived, a life out of fear is a tragedy. I said this in last week's show, but I want to reiterate this to you. When you get to the end of your life, you will not regret the things you tried and failed at. You're going to regret the things that you didn't try. And I don't even think it's that. I think you regret that you didn't have more faith, more gratitude, and more belief. At some point in your life, you have to decide that you're gonna be your own biggest fan, your own biggest supporter, that you're going to talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend, that you're going to believe in yourself like you would believe in your children. Because you only have one. You. You were born with a responsibility to start with, to take care of one human being. You. You're the person you were born to take care of. In fact, you really can't care in your full capacity for other people if you don't care for yourself. Do you hear me? You can't transfer to someone that which you are not really experiencing. You really can't. You could transfer a little bit, but you can't give them all of it. Your job is to take care of you. Yes. You. You were given you to take care of, to believe in, to nurture, to grow, to push, to love, to challenge, to celebrate, to laugh with, to comfort. If you don't give that to you, and you only get that through God, you can't really give it to other people in the way that you should. I'm really emotional the last few weeks about the podcast we're doing because of all the messages I get from so many of you. So many of you live with an enemy within you. You've taken the mistakes of your past and you use them as weapons against yourself. You're constantly hitting yourself over the head with this mistake or that setback or this thing. And you keep carrying these bricks with you through your life. It's almost like you want to keep reminding you of your own weaknesses, your own sins, your own mistakes. And the adversary's got you convinced that means you're not going to win. And the truth of the matter is God wants to use these mistakes, these setbacks, these things you're ashamed of, these average, ordinary things. These times you felt invisible in your life. He wants to use those somehow in the service of other people. But he can only do that if you overcome it. But when you get to the other side of it, now there's a story, now there's a message. Your mess has a message. Your test has a testimony. Maybe you heard that before. Why don't you live it? You were born to do something great with your life. Do not end this thing by not finding out who the heck you are, what the heck you're capable of. Today is a blessing. You are a blessing. And next week, I'm going to come back. I'm going to be heavy tactics and strategies for you on, you know, literally how to build that. But for this week, will you please step back and have some perspective on how blessed you are, how far you've come, how much you've overcome. And that ought to give you some idea of where you're going. You not be able to see it.
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Rob O'Neill
You.
- [28:06]
Ed Mylett
You might know exactly what it's going to look like or what it's going to feel like. But he's rebuilding you. This storm is not going to destroy you. In fact, eventually, at one point, the wind's going to be at your back, and you better be in full speed when it happens. Because once that wind's at your back and you start knocking down barriers and you start overcoming things and you start getting momentum again in your life, I promise you, I promise you it's going to change other people's lives because you went through what you're going through right now, and when you get to that end of your life. There was this great study recently that said the top five regrets of the dying is the whole reason I did today's show. Let me tell you what they are. Big survey that they just did. Number one, regret of the dying. They said, I wish I would have stayed in touch more with my friends. I said maybe 500 times on the show that people matter and things don't. But we get so caught up in the pursuit of things, so busy in our lives. But I can tell you the biggest regrets of the dying, one of the five is they wish they would have stayed in touch more with their friends. Number two thing they regret in no order. I wish I would have expressed how I really felt more often. So many people go through their entire lives and don't express how they really feel, the love they feel for somebody, how they're really feeling inside about themselves, how they feel about the people that they work with. They feel like they're going to see them forever. So they don't need to express that. Maybe they don't express when they don't want to do something, but they do it anyway. They agree to go to things and participate in things they don't want to do, but they're afraid to express themselves and say no, I don't really want to do that. Maybe they participated in so much gossip in their lives they wish they would have just expressed, this makes me uncomfortable. I don't like this. They spent time with people they didn't really want to spend time with. They did not tell the people that they loved often enough how much they loved them and what they loved about them. Number three is I wish I would have lived a life more true to myself and not lived by the expectations of others. So many people live a life and a script somebody else handed them. Maybe they didn't live by the virtuals and morals that they wanted to live by. Maybe they didn't say no enough. Maybe they didn't express what their dreams and visions and goals were. You imagine getting to the end of your life in one of the three biggest regrets of the five. I didn't live a life on my own terms. I let the expectations of other people guide me. By the way, expectations are limiting beliefs. The dream stealers of life, the people we held on to in our lives way too long that no longer fulfilled us, no longer brought us joy and bliss and laughter and love and happiness. The places we didn't go because our spouse didn't want to go and see it, or things we wanted to do and achieve and try that we never did because the expectations of other people were we weren't good enough or it wasn't going to work out, or they projected their own fears and limiting beliefs onto us. But at the end of life, people wish they stayed in touch with their friends more. They wish they would have expressed themselves and how they really felt. They wish they would have lived a life on their own terms and not on the expectations of others. Number four I wish I would have let myself be happier. I think it's so fascinating how that was worded let myself. Because that's really what it is. Happiness is already within us at any given time. We can tap into it anytime I want. They didn't say I just wish I was happier. That's not when someone says at the end of their life, they say, I wish I would have let myself be happier. Just let myself. Because it's always there. It lives within us. It's part of who we are. But we allow all these other things to blunt it and block it Stress, worry, depression, fear, anxiety stuff
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Demar Hamlin
instead of
- [32:08]
Ed Mylett
just letting happiness be in our lives. At the end of your life, when you've got very few hours left, days left, don't regret that you didn't stay in contact with your friends. More people matter. Things don't. Don't ever get out of this life without expressing how you really feel. Your beliefs, what you stand for, who you love, why you love them. Live a life on your own terms and not the expectations of others. Go for your dreams. Make something great happen. Let yourself experience happiness. It's your birthright. And number five, I wish I wouldn't have worked so much. So you know how when you're doing something that's good for you and then you stop doing it, all of a sudden you feel, what the heck changed? So here's what happened to me. I've been feeling great for like a year and a half. It's because I've been on IM8. Then we moved to our place in Maine and I didn't bring my supplements with me. So if you've been looking for something easy to stick with that actually makes you feel better, this might be it for me. It absolutely is something I rely on and I noticed when I missed a few days. So give your body what it deserves with iM8, go to im8health.com ED and use code ED for a free welcome kit. Five free travel sachets plus 10% off your order. So seriously, this is one of those offers you're going to wish you jumped on sooner. That's im8.com/ed and use code ED for a free welcome kit. Five free travel sachets plus 10 off your order at imadehealth.com ed code ED. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. All right. I love when you guys send messages out on social media about the show and lately been getting a few of these messages about my wardrobe. I was wearing this sweater, this tan sweater, and I kept getting all these messages from guys going, where'd you get that sweater, bro? So I'm gonna tell you where I got it. I got it at Quint's. A well built wardrobe is about pieces that work together and they hold up over time. That's what Quint does best. Here's the most important part. It's affordable. Don't break the bank. Right? Quince has the everyday essentials I love with quality. That last. Organic cotton sweaters, polos for every occasion, lighter Jackets that can keep you warm and changing seasons. Everything for everybody. Okay, go check them out. Quint works directly with top factories. Cuts the middleman. So you're not paying for brand markup. So refresh your wardrobe with Quint goes to quint.comed for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q u I n c e.com ed free shipping and 365 day returns. Quint.com ed we can get really caught up in doing instead of being. And there's a nuance to life of both. Remember when my uncle Mike passed away, he was very young, he was 48 years old. And someone got up, it was his son. At the funeral, I was still pretty young myself. And my cousin said, and he loved his dad, his dad was a very hard worker. And he said, I think daddy worked himself right into heaven. I've never forgotten that. And that was a badge of honor that he had worked so hard. And. You don't want to just work all your life experience. Life work is one of the great things in my life. It's service. It's an expression of who I am. It's my art form. But the same time is there's a life away from work. And I think you know that as well. Those are the five regrets of the dying. Now here's the cool part. At the end of your life, I want to have you have the five things you're most grateful for, you're most proud of. The moments, the memories, the contribution, the people, the difference you made, the things you saw and felt and experienced. We don't have to get to the end of our lives with five regrets. We can get to the end of our lives with five things we're most proud of, five things we want to honor. Five things we want to pass on to the next generation. Five things we want to celebrate. And that's what I want at the end of my life. And it's what I want for you at the end of your life. And hopefully today's show helped you get there. Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Now on to our next guest. Welcome back to Max out with Ed Mylett. To my left, here is Dave Meltzer. Welcome, brother.
- [36:54]
Dave Meltzer
I talk about brother. You are a brother from another mother. I can't believe the similarities. I hope it's interesting to other people.
- [36:59]
Ed Mylett
I know we think it's interesting, but hopefully, hopefully it's interesting for all of you. Dave's the CEO of Sports1 Marketing. He's also one of the great philanthropists in the country. And he's an interesting man. And that's why this conversation today, I think an altercation, your life too, because he's a sports agent, but he's also does all these other things. He's been successful in the real estate space, in the technology space. He's now in sort of the life strategy and coaching space as well. But when I first started to read about you, I thought, I'm gonna meet this sports agent guy. He's gonna be intense. He's gonna be kind of a grinder, you know. And I found out it was almost like I'm meeting the Wayne Dyer of sports agents. You know, I'm this very Zen, very energy based guy like I am. And so, so we share a whole lot in common. So today's conversation, I think you're going to love everybody. So people that are watching this, we all have a lot of friends who are thinkers, meditators, prayers, and they don't ever produce results. Right. And I think the reason for that is because there's the workers, like, you gotta outwork everybody, which I subscribe to. I know you do too. But having said that, I so agree with getting aligned first, but I think a lot of people. Now that's puffery because this is important for you to know. A lot of these folks who kind of get aligned also leave out part B. Would you agree with that? Which is the work part. I have to say, it all short changes the message.
- [38:12]
Dave Meltzer
Yeah, I have the saying.
- [38:13]
Ed Mylett
Right.
- [38:14]
Dave Meltzer
You're not gonna ever find me sitting at home high on my mom's couch trying to manifest a Ferrari.
- [38:19]
Ed Mylett
Right, exactly right.
- [38:20]
Dave Meltzer
That's not gonna happen. Or your airplane.
- [38:21]
Ed Mylett
Right.
- [38:22]
Dave Meltzer
That's not gonna happen.
- [38:23]
Ed Mylett
Yes.
- [38:23]
Dave Meltzer
What, what I did learn is I will sit for 10 to 20 minutes and manifest and then go out very clear, balanced and focused on what I want, which gives me confidence, which opens me up to receive.
- [38:36]
Ed Mylett
You just literally describe what I do. I mean, I think we do the almost the exact same thing. The other thing we're both big into, I want to go through a couple like stuff. Yeah, we're both big into gratitude and the power of gratitude and how it can impact the rest of your life. Can you speak to that a little bit about how gratitude plays into your whole life?
- [38:50]
Dave Meltzer
It is the cornerstone of my life. It gives me perspective and I try to Give gratitude to everything and everyone. And when I. And I tell you, like, I'm the guy who stops and it's not about having money or not, I stop and give people who need it what they need out of gratitude.
- [39:08]
Ed Mylett
It could be time. It could be a compliment. I mean, your attention, though. Yeah.
- [39:11]
Dave Meltzer
Yeah. And I open a door out of gratitude, and I look at everything I have, and I'm constantly fighting myself to make sure when things don't seem as if I should be grateful, it freaks people out. But, like these two words, when someone's attacking, you realize that the mathematics of the universe. If someone's attacking you, if all you hold is gratitude, they can't attack you anymore. You can't allow them to take your joy. The energy. An attack has to have attacking energy. It'll dissipate when you have gratitude.
- [39:43]
Ed Mylett
Wow.
- [39:43]
Dave Meltzer
If someone attacks you and you say thank you.
- [39:46]
Ed Mylett
Yeah.
- [39:46]
Dave Meltzer
And I really appreciate that. It takes all the energy out of the attack.
- [39:50]
Ed Mylett
So true.
- [39:50]
Dave Meltzer
I had a good friend that was having difficulty with another friend, and I ended up being on his podcast because entrepreneur wanted me to do it, and he started attacking me on the show.
- [39:59]
Rich Devini
No.
- [39:59]
Dave Meltzer
Called me right after. Personal attack to him.
- [40:03]
Ed Mylett
Disrespectful.
- [40:03]
Dave Meltzer
You know, the ego need to be.
- [40:05]
Ed Mylett
The ego need to be offended.
- [40:06]
Dave Meltzer
And all I could say was, you know what? I did not even think.
- [40:10]
Ed Mylett
Think about that.
- [40:11]
Dave Meltzer
Thank you. Thank you for teaching me how to be a better friend. You know, I'm sure our relationship, being that we're so close and it did hurt your feelings, will definitely survive this, but the old Dave Meltzer, we're going right back at him or preach at him.
- [40:25]
Ed Mylett
Yeah.
- [40:25]
Dave Meltzer
And then I would have created this and lost a friend.
- [40:28]
Ed Mylett
Wow.
- [40:29]
Dave Meltzer
It's like almost energetic judo or tai chi.
- [40:33]
Rob O'Neill
Go away.
- [40:33]
Ed Mylett
Thank you. That's wonderful. Thank you. I need to hear that. But by the way, that's one for me because I'm a big gratitude guy, but not to that extent. Yeah. That's. That's a place I can learn it. You know, I. I think sometimes I. That's good for me. That's good for a lot of you that are listening to this too.
- [40:45]
Dave Meltzer
It's funny because I inspire and teach a lot of kids.
- [40:48]
Ed Mylett
Yeah.
- [40:48]
Dave Meltzer
And so if you go against gratitude, forgiveness, accountability, or effective communication, I use the Lombardi. It's in my system because I learned that way, kind of Lombardi football coach. And so now I'm trying to figure out, how do you take a grateful approach for someone not learning gratitude?
- [41:04]
Ed Mylett
Right.
- [41:04]
Dave Meltzer
Thank you so much for not Listening to me about.
- [41:07]
Ed Mylett
Thank you.
- [41:07]
Dave Meltzer
It's not quite working yet.
- [41:09]
Ed Mylett
The principle applies. And you're absolutely right because there's no. What I always do when I hear a theory. This is what I do. When you should be listening to this podcast, everybody, I hear a theory and I put it through different situations that are real world. And does it apply? What you just said applies. There's not going to be a scenario where it doesn't apply.
- [41:22]
Dave Meltzer
That's how powerful it is.
- [41:23]
Ed Mylett
It is powerful. It's super powerful. I'm curious. Talk about kids. I read a little bit about you. You do a lot of work with kids. You alluded to that. And also in kind of non profit charitable work you do too. What do you do? What is the organization you're involved with that helps with kids?
- [41:36]
Dave Meltzer
Yeah. So I'm the chairman of the Unstoppable Foundation.
- [41:39]
Ed Mylett
That's what it is.
- [41:40]
Dave Meltzer
Cynthia Kersey founded 10 years ago on her 50th birthday and took money instead of gifts to help kids in Africa and Kenya. So not only kids, but communities with water education, financial literacy, medical care. And it's evolved. 75,000 people have been impacted. And so now these girls who never would have been educated, mostly girls that never would have been educated, are graduating college. That's Wonderful. I turned 50amonth and a half ago.
- [42:08]
Ed Mylett
Happy birthday.
- [42:08]
Dave Meltzer
Bladed and I'm doing 50 birthday parties. And for the 50, I'm going to raise over a million. Notice, no limitation, over a million, as fast as I can in these 50 parties to build an empowerment and leadership center to take all these people we impacted and teach them how to empower others. Wow, that's wonderful.
- [42:28]
Ed Mylett
That is scaling.
- [42:29]
Dave Meltzer
One thing people ask me, because I do. Warren Moon is my business partner. We have Crescent Moon Foundation. We've given hundreds of scholarships to kids to go to college, which is still important to me here in America. Our high schools, they'll ask me, Dave, there's a lot to do in America. Why are you doing this in Africa?
- [42:43]
Ed Mylett
Why?
- [42:43]
Dave Meltzer
Watching what's going on in the world, that if we can stabilize some of these other places, it only benefits, benefits here.
- [42:50]
Ed Mylett
That's wonderful work, brother. So it's really fun. What I want you all to know about him, that's really interesting because you're going to learn this lesson in your business too. These principles. Remember, this is a guy who attracts to him some of the top athletes in the world that he represents. Right. And other agents we talk about. Let's negotiate the shoe contract. Right? Let's. Let's you know, get the percentage done. Let's get you guaranteed this. And I know that's part of what, what you do. But he takes this very unique approach, right? And the approach is almost you begin to talk to the athletes about their giving first and what they could do with their giving and their time. Speak to that for a second, which makes you so unique. This is what I want you to hear. So unique in the space you're in because the sports world can be very cutthroat the dollar. Now, short term, short term, short term, you run a model that's different than that and a message. And again, I apply it through anything. These same principles are apply if you own a dry cleaners, if you own a gym, if you have a, you know, you run a life insurance business, whatever the heck your business is. This principle he's about to share with you would distinguish you, make you happier, and probably grow your business as a byproduct, it's not the reason to do it, but it would as a byproduct, we grow your business. So talk about that.
- [43:52]
Dave Meltzer
And to give credit, I learned it from Lee Steinberg, okay? Who's a Berkeley guy.
- [43:55]
Ed Mylett
Okay.
- [43:56]
Dave Meltzer
Jerry Maguire co produced with Cameron Crow, the famous. And he taught me me. I said, why? Why do you require every one of our athletes to have a foundation? He said, for two reasons. One, I know it's right and the truth vibrates the fastest. Didn't put it in those words, but that's what he was saying. And then he said, but beyond that, because I started learning that by giving back, I actually qualified the people I surrounded myself with. If an athlete wasn't willing to give back, I was only going to have problems later on. And so throughout my whole career since. Since I've been working with Lee, whether it's athletes, companies, media, or even interviews, I only do people that work with people that will give back. Every project I have has to have a charitable component or cause to it. Every single one, or we won't take it. And it just has really increased a collective belief or a vibration for our entire community, not just our business.
- [44:48]
Ed Mylett
Don't you think it's important? I heard you talk about this, and we both said this separately of each other. But the reason, there's also power to that, by the way. It's wonderful seeds you're sowing right. The other part of it is, like, I think it's important in business that you show up different than people expect you to. Yeah. You know, I've seen you talk about. I talk about that all the time, too. Like in my case, you know, if I'm got some big arms and I got tattoos on there, and I show up as this guy that's talking about loving people and blissful dissatisfaction and making a difference with like, wait a minute, I thought you're gonna talk about smashing people in the face. You know, I think that's been advantage of mine, that maybe I'm not as I appear. Right. And is that true also? Would you give that advice to somebody in business or even just in life?
- [45:24]
Dave Meltzer
Absolutely. You have to take advantage. And I even take charity. And you know, my motto is, make a lot of money, help a lot of people, and have a lot of fun. And a lot of people ask me, why do you say make a lot of money? Dave, you're this philanthropist, but I do pimp out a lot of athletes and celebrities for money. So I call myself a philanthropy. But why do you do that? I said, because literally, if you don't have, you can't give. I say that about forgiveness. If you don't forgive yourself, who can you ever forgive?
- [45:52]
Ed Mylett
That's right, baby.
- [45:53]
Dave Meltzer
And so I say to everyone, make money for yourself first. You'll figure out where to put it. My mom is a great catalyst. Siblings did extremely well, but my mom has to still be supported by her kids today. It takes away from her own pride.
- [46:08]
Ed Mylett
There you go.
- [46:08]
Dave Meltzer
Of course, you never cared about making money herself.
- [46:11]
Ed Mylett
Yes.
- [46:12]
Dave Meltzer
And I really believe it's really important, if you have the skills and knowledge and desire that you should make as much money as you can and take care of everyone around you.
- [46:21]
Ed Mylett
I believe that so much. And the point is too, is that what Dave's shared with you is you can't transfer to somebody that which you're not experiencing yourself. You can't give me love if you don't feel it. You can't give me gratitude. You can't give me energy. You can't give me confidence. You can't give me money.
- [46:33]
Rob O'Neill
Money.
- [46:33]
Ed Mylett
You can't give me these things if you're not experiencing them yourself. So that was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Here's an excerpt I did with our next guest. Welcome back to Max out with Ed Mylett. This man to my left, I think is one of the most inspiring people on planet Earth today.
- [46:53]
Nick Sanitasasso
Thank you.
- [46:54]
Ed Mylett
And an unbelievable public speaker, for the record, that you're going to hear about in a minute. But this is Nick sanitasasso. And as you can tell, Nick and I have been friends now for a while. But Nick has a story to tell, as you can tell, that's probably different than anyone you've ever heard before. And so I'm excited to have you here today, brother.
- [47:12]
Nick Sanitasasso
Grateful for the opportunity, brother.
- [47:14]
Ed Mylett
You know how much I wanted you here, and we've been connecting through social media for a while, and I consider you a friend.
- [47:19]
Nick Sanitasasso
I appreciate that.
- [47:20]
Ed Mylett
And I'm so excited that I'm going to help even get you further exposure to the world.
- [47:24]
Nick Sanitasasso
I'm excited. I'm excited.
- [47:25]
Ed Mylett
I am too, brother. And so they need to know more about you. So I'm curious. You did sort of get into this sort of. You know, you said that was the hardest time of your life was middle school and high school. This beginning of high school, did you kind of go into a little bit of a depression, sort of down on yourself, and then if you did, how'd you get out of it?
- [47:41]
Nick Sanitasasso
Yeah. So middle school, high school, I was at an all time low for me, you know, and my big question was, why? You know, I realized I was different and I realized, you know, some of the negativity of kids there. And I mean, I was just like, why? You know, there's billions of people. Why do I have to be on this earth with no legs and one arm? These kids don't know what I'm going through. What, like, why? I was pissed off, you know, the universe, God, whatever may be, I was just pissed off that I was in this situation. And when I got into high school, I realized, you know, that I was in the slump. And I realized that, you know, confidence is a skill. It's not just something that you wake up with. And that's what I thought. When I thought in middle school and high school, I was like, I guess I'm just not born with confidence. You know, I thought you either had it or you didn't. But to show people that's a skill and you gradually work on it. So I needed to work on myself. And I'm lucky that I realized that the only person that's gonna make a drastic change in your life, you know, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, like you were talking about, is you. You know, you have to take control of yourself. And I realized I was like, man, like, one choice. You have one choice. I can either look at all the negative I have in my life and focus on that which won't propel me, it will dig me to a hole, or I can focus on all the good and all I'm capable of doing, and that will elevate me. So when I was freshman year, it was funny. My best friend, we're still best friends to this day. And all my wrestler best friends were still best friends, but he was a bowler. And in my high school, I was like, man, if I could be part of a team, just like a group, something, a support system, I'll feel better about myself. I'll be labeled as an athlete. If it's a bowler, whatever it may be, I'm an athlete. Nick's an athlete. So that fired me up. I remember our varsity team was super good, and our JV bowling team was undefeated until I joined the team. And I joined the JV team. And I remember. Dude, I totally remember. They didn't have the correct, like, jersey for me. I had an older jersey. So, like, it's me. And, like, people are like, how's this kid gonna bowl? And I was just, like, throwing a ball down the lane, and I realized that I wanted much more, that it just. It wasn't challenging me enough, and I wanted something more physical. And so I got my. I got into my sophomore year, and all my best friends. So that best friend wrestled his younger years, and like, Matt rats when he was younger. And so sophomore year, they all were on the wrestling team. They all were, like, all stud wrestlers for my high school. My older brother was a wrestler for that same high school, but I never got to go to high school with him. So, like, the coaches knew me.
- [49:52]
Ed Mylett
They knew your family.
- [49:52]
Demar Hamlin
And.
- [49:53]
Nick Sanitasasso
Yeah, so I was like, man, I thought wrestlers were the coolest thing, you know, the hardest physical sport, like, physically and mentally. I want to be a wrestler. So at the time, this arm was about 5 inches longer than it is now, and my bone was growing faster than my skin, so it was like your finger, but super pointy, so I couldn't really touch it on things. It was super sensitive.
- [50:10]
Ed Mylett
Painful, too, right?
- [50:11]
Nick Sanitasasso
Yes, painful. So I used to tuck it because if I would have hit my arm hard enough, my bone would have came through. That's how, like, yeah, sorry, but that's how, like, you know, light it is. And so I made that. Made that decision to myself. I said, if I could become a wrestler, you know, if I could be with my friends and just get after it in the room, you know, it would make me feel so much better about myself and just lift me up. And so I came home one day and I said, mom and Dad, I want to be a wrestler. And I remember I waited for my dad to be home. And my parents supported me in everything and anything throughout my life. You know, Nick, as long as you're happy, you know, we want you to do it. But this was a little bit different. I said, mom and dad, I want to be a wrestler. My mom was like, oh, my God, Nick. You know, wrestling is the most physical sport. If you're out there, you hit your arm. And I was like, I was a 17, 18 year old kid. I looked at him, I said, can we cut it off?
- [50:56]
Ed Mylett
Oh my gosh, bro.
- [50:58]
Nick Sanitasasso
And they were like, what? And I'm like, can we take care of this? Like, it's not helping. And, you know, it took me a couple hours, but I persuaded my parents to schedule an amputation. So we found like the best doctor and they basically lasered 5 inches of my arm off and did a skin graft. So they put pulled extra skin and pulled it over my bones so I'd have, you know, padding. And I always tell people, the only little mountain, the only little challenge that I saw that was stopping me from wrestling was the fact that my arm hurt. It wasn't the fact that I was born with no legs on my arm. Because I knew that my hard work and dedication, if I worked harder than the able body, it would make up for my lack of limbs. If I put the work in, you know, work my butt off, that I would. This wouldn't matter, you know, it wouldn't matter. So I made that decision. And so my sophomore year, I always say I was the happiest kid to cut his arm off. Like, I was just, come on, bro.
- [51:48]
Demar Hamlin
Yeah.
- [51:49]
Nick Sanitasasso
So we amputated my arm my sophomore year. And remember, I love food. We're Italian. And I missed Halloween that year because I was in a cast. I had like, you know, 17 stitches in my arm. And I remember going back to school and I was so happy. Like, I said, happiest kid just cut his arm off. And people like, dude, what did you just do?
- [52:04]
Ed Mylett
Yeah.
- [52:04]
Nick Sanitasasso
And I'm like, oh, I amputated my arm. I'm going to be a wrestler. And it was the same old. It was the same cycle. It was people, dude, you can't wrestle. You know, it was, dude, how are you gonna be a wrestler? You have no legs in one arm. Like, dude, let's be real, right? You know, the outside noise, the naysayers, the haters. And I looked, I said, you're right, I'm not gonna become a wrestler. I'm gonna become a varsity wrestler. And, you know, I think I Think from the earliest of ages, from, you know, my parents telling me what the doctors told me and all this, I always carried a little bit of chip on my shoulder to show people what I'm truly capable of doing.
- [52:32]
Ed Mylett
Bro, can we just stop for a second here? We can stop to go wrestle. So there's all these. By the way, a lot of you are parents or you're a young athlete watching this, you go, man, I'm wrestling, man. It's so hard to cut weight. Or I got to go to the gym, or, man, I got to miss my party on the weekend to go to practice. This guy cut his arm off to go wrestle, right? And by the way, that's going into it, knowing I don't actually have every other thing going for me to go dominate in this sport. It's actually after bowling, which, by the way, I would love to see you bowl. That just, to me, is like the coolest visual in the world. But the fact that you go for bowling just to belong to a team, you're like, you know what? Screw it. I'm going to a next standard, a next level. I want to go wrestle. Then to have your parents kind of still back it, though, man. And do you go to that extreme? Like, what are you willing to do to chase your dream? This guy's willing to cut his arm off, right? Part of it. I mean, what are you willing to do to chase your dream? What's the sacrifice you're willing to make? And how does it compare to that, right? And with no guarantee, he makes a team. And then to up the ant, he goes, you're right. I'm not going to wrestle. I'm going to varsity wrestle. I don't know this, by the way. Did that actually happen?
- [53:35]
Nick Sanitasasso
So my junior year, I remember getting in the room and I said to my. To my buddies, because most of my buddies, they're all my buddies now, you know, And I was like, beat me up. I said, beat me up. Slam my face in the mat as hard as you can. You know, do whatever you need to do, because if you hold back on me, I'm not going to know how to. To become the best wrestler I could possibly be. And that's the same thing for my parents. If my parents held back and gave me everything, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have the mindset I have. I wouldn't be the man I am today if people held back on me. So that was my first thing, my message to everyone. Yo, beat me up. Don't feel bad. I'M here. I'm here for me. Beat me up. So my junior year, what I was doing was basically just trying to figure out where my strengths were, what I was good at. And with wrestling, if you go to your back, if you both your shoulder blades touch, it's a pin, it's six points. And that's the most amount of points you can give up. So I knew that, you know, I needed to work on staying off my back, you know, even if I couldn't win, if they could techfall me and get, you know, a lesser amount of points in a pin, I'm winning. So my junior year I was like, like I said, I was like 1 in 20 and. But my, my coach threw me out for a forfeit win to get my varsity jacket. And I came off, I was like, I don't want it. You know, I never even got my varsity jacket. I never got it. And I. Because to me, I didn't earn it. You know, it was given to me and I didn't want to wear something that, you know, it was just given to me. So my junior year got my butt kick. Big learning experience. In between the summer of junior year and senior year, I kind of got in the weight room a little bit, not too much. But my senior year I came out as Central Regionals 106 pound varsity wrestler from my high school.
- [55:03]
Ed Mylett
Come on, dude, come on.
- [55:07]
Nick Sanitasasso
And you know, like I said, we talk about moments of confirmation, moments of reassurance. It was just like, this is what you're, you know, regardless of, you know, how I got to 106 pound varsity wrestler, it was, you know, I stuck through the journey and I made it. So at that point, I'm still trying to find my why. You know, Nick's confidence is, you know, I got a little bit, you know, I'm part of the wrestling, I'm hanging with the wrestlers. I'm a senior wrestler, you know, I'm a varsity wrestler. But I would go out and there would be gym gymnasiums packed to watch me wrestle. There would be standing ovations when I lost. And I was, I hated it. I was like, why are you clapping for me if I just got my butt kicked? You know, I did give it my all, you know, I always gave my all. But why are you clapping for me? Not supposed to applaud losing. I'm a competitor. And I came off the mat one day and this, this lady came up to me and she was crying and I'm like, oh my God, you know, what did I do wrong? Yeah, and she said, nick, I want to thank you. I said, for What? You know, 17 years old, 18 years year old, kid.
- [56:00]
Ed Mylett
What?
- [56:00]
Nick Sanitasasso
And she said, my son or daughter never wanted to do a sport. My son or daughter never wanted to do an extracurricular activity. They want to try all these things. They saw you on the mat and they're like, oh, my God, I want to try this, Mom. I want to try that. And that was my quantum moment of I was just trying to live my life to the fullest. I was trying to find my purpose. And I was motivating and passively. I was motivating and changing lives passively on the sideline. Imagine how many people I could change for the better, how many perspectives I can change for the better. Emotional people if I focus my energy and helping people. And that's when I realized that I.
- [56:31]
Ed Mylett
Boom.
- [56:31]
Nick Sanitasasso
Here's your Nick. Here's your why, Nick, you are an example. Yeah, you are an example. You know, like, you. You accepted this life before you even were in here, and you are here to be an example for those that think they don't. Can't. A lantern. A lantern for others to spread light.
- [56:45]
Ed Mylett
Dude, you are that. And I told everybody when we started, you would inspire. I'm trying right now not to tackle you myself because I'm so fricking fired up, and I'm afraid you might rustle me back to the ground. I don't want to be pinned. But I'll be honest with you, brother. Like, there's so much here. Usually in interviews, I want to jump in and add, but this is too good. And so I do want to say one thing to you. That part about letting. Telling the guys to beat you up is such a great lesson for everybody to be watching this because you wanted to go through the real deal. And I'm thinking about. I'm thinking about all the things that people use to. They use as an excuse to stop. They use as an excuse to hold back. Right? And you've just. You've never done that before. And it's. It's sort of just crazy to me. And one of the things I found out about you, obviously your competitor, right? And. But you're also real grateful. And I think that would surprise a lot of people that someone who, you know, got a little bit bullied and teased as a young guy, nothing came out perfect. Nothing's easy for you, right? But yet you're really a grateful dude. Talk about how important gratitude is for you. In addition to all of this intense competition, you've been through how important is gratitude?
- [57:52]
Nick Sanitasasso
I feel like gratitude. If a person can just live in a state of gratitude, it could change their whole entire life. And I can make this quick and simple and easy for everyone to comprehend. Me, a man with no legs and one arm. There are millions of people as we sit in this couch that would switch places with, with me in an instant because they just don't have it like me. There are kids and adults that are confined in wheelchair beds. There are kids and adults that are paralyzed in wheelchairs that look outside and say, man, I wish I could just go outside and breathe the fresh air. I wish I could just listen to the birds. I wish I could get out of this hospital bed. Like, it gives me chills. That's all the motivation I need because I know that my situation isn't bad. And the sad thing is that there's people with full bodies that say, oh man, his last bad. No, it's not. You know, the biggest disability is a bad mindset. It's not this. It is not this. It's.
- [58:40]
Demar Hamlin
It's.
- [58:41]
Nick Sanitasasso
People don't have their mind right, Ed?
- [58:42]
Ed Mylett
It's.
- [58:43]
Nick Sanitasasso
People are just like, oh my God, I can't do this, I can't do that. No, you can. You're truly capable of anything. You put limits on yourself. The only limits you have are the ones you put on yourself. So to, to go back to gratitude, like I'm start being grateful for that you woke up today, you know, start being grateful that you were in a bed, there's people sleeping, you can go outside, there's people sleeping on the sidewalk, like, how can you not be grateful? You know, so living in a state of gratitude and waking up and starting your day off with gratitude, you know, listening five things you're grateful for, thinking about five things you're grateful for. You'll notice that your mind gets in a rhythm. And at first it may be big things like, oh, my family, my house, whatever it may be. But then your mind will get in the rhythm and start thinking about the little things, the little things you're grateful for. Like, man, I got good health, or man, I got food in the refrigerator, or, you know, I got friends, you know, the little things. Your mind starts to just become grateful for the things around you. And you realize that the things you complain about on a day to day basis, in the grand scheme of life, they're not problems. We don't have problems like, man, you know. You know what I'm saying?
- [59:43]
Ed Mylett
I do. But you live it. And I think there's Something powerful about people who are authentic, who are actually walk the walk, that do the things they say they're going to do, which is what you do. And like, you're walking the walk isn't the same as other people because you have to walk differently. Are there days you're down? Are there days you're like, hey, man, even today, are there days. Now this. Look, you're accomplished. You're now a sought after speaker, right? You inspire people like me, who it ain't easy to always inspire me, right? Like, there's got to be something, something special about someone to inspire me. Like sitting here with you, I can feel my emotions. I'm trying to hold them, right? Like, my intensity, my passion, my tears. For some reason, like, I'm holding it in because I want to have a good interview with you, right? But like, you induce that in people. You're special. But are there days you're down?
- [60:32]
Nick Sanitasasso
Absolutely. And I always tell people, I'm not the Energizer Bunny all the time, you know, I do have low days. Yeah. And I actually had a low day. I'll be honest, I had a low day. It was my birthday, the May 20, and that weekend we went to Miami. And I had a low day because I went out in public and just trying to mingle and talk to girls, right? And maybe the one interaction with a girl didn't go the way I wanted to. And all these thoughts going in my head. Oh, my God, she thinks you're disgusting. It's because you have no legs, one arm. And these are the things that you go through those moments of down. And I was down. Like, those guys, they were like, do you want to go out? And I'm like, no, I'm good. Dude, it's your birthday weekend. No, I'm good. Because one moment. It's important to know that one moment can induce those toxic thoughts in your head. But the important thing about that is when I'm in those low moments, and this is for everyone needs to do this. When you're in those low moments, embrace it. What are you feeling? How are you breathing? How do you feel? And realize that this is not a state I want to be in. So. So embrace that low time. Oh, my God, I feel like. I feel like poop, you know, I don't feel good. This is my low state, you know? These are all the things that I don't want to go through and the thoughts that I don't want to think about. And that's the thing, you know, Embrace that time. Embrace that state and realize that, oh my God, I don't want to feel like this and then get out of it. And the way to get out of it is start thinking positive affirmations. You know, start thinking about. Because your mind can only think about one thought. So if you're thinking about something negative, you know, change that thought. So I start to think to myself, I am beautiful, I am confident, I am an athlete. I. If that girl doesn't want to talk to me, that it's an organic filter and that's the type of people that I don't want to be around. Nick, Nick, it was helping you. She's not the girl you want to be around. She's looking at you for this, right? You know, so that's the one of the things that helped me so much. Because not gonna lie, girls, was a. Is still a still tough part for me, you know, and you know, especially as a 22 year old guy, you know, sure it's a low point for me, but to realize that me being in this situation, it, like we said about the tribes, it organically attracts the right people you want to be with. So if a girl is gonna not talk to me or you know, just not even respect me for my lack of limbs, okay, fine, like take a hike, you know, because you are not the person that I want to be around.
- [62:44]
Ed Mylett
Bro, remind yourself of that please, because that's. Shoot, this is good. Good, like it's so true. Because there's all guys 22 years old are like have these deficiencies. And then by the way, why does she like you? She like you just because you're good looking. That's the reverse. Does she like you just because you got a couple bucks? Is she like you just because you're an athlete? Then you end up. It's an odd filter for you. That's actually to your benefit because it is. Because eventually you're going to find a woman who loves you for you. And as you're blowing up like you are now, she's actually going to love you for you. Where it's like if you do have money, if you are successful, if you are like in someone's mind, perfect looking or whatever, right? Like you'll never know if they love the you that's you. So you actually have this. It's bizarre that you're right about that. And I want to acknowledge that you're right about that. And thank you for being honest about it too. Before we start the interview with my next guest, just want to remind you all that you can subscribe to the show on YouTube or follow the show on Apple or Spotify. We have all the links in our show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Now, on with the show. Welcome back, everybody. My guest today played 12 years in the major leagues. Let me just tell you something. He could flat mash. This dude could hit. I used to watch him going, that's the natural. They should call him the natural. But then the more I got to know his story, turns out it wasn't natural that he worked really hard to build this incredible swing. Three time all star. And I'm just telling you guys, any of you that know baseball, this dude could flat out hit. But today we're going to talk about, you know, you got someone here that played in the big leagues and the major leagues that long. There's a mental aspect to what they did and how they live and what they do now that got them there. So we're going to talk about peak performance today and overcoming adversity. All kinds of incredible stuff with Sean Casey. Casey, welcome to the show, brother Ed.
- [64:26]
Sean Casey
Thanks for having me on, dude. So fired up to be here, brother.
- [64:28]
Ed Mylett
You came all the way in. You flew from Pennsylvania to be here today. So thank you for being here. I know you got a lot of family stuff going right now, dude.
- [64:35]
Sean Casey
I just wanted to say too, like, before we get going, look, listening to your podcast, dude, like, who's the guy who's the voice of like, welcome to Edmund. Who is that guy? The guy that does that. He introduces your show.
- [64:46]
Ed Mylett
He used to do incredible. Yeah, he used to do something for the NFL and I heard his voice way back in the day. It's so funny. Seven years ago, I'm like, I told my team, I go, I don't know who that dude is. I want that voice saying my name. And what's funny about that thing is too is that even to this day, he still can't say Mylett correctly. It's welcome to the Ed Mylett show. He still doesn't even say my name right. But his voice is so good. I'm like, okay, he can just say my. He says my name wrong on my own show. But he says it was such a great voice. I'm like, let's just leave it. Every time he does the takes, I'm like, can you get him to say my let? Like, no, it's Mylet. Whatever. Anyway, this conversation I knew was going to be special, but, like, I didn't know it was going to go to this depth. And you know you are. He is working for the MLB Network. He's great on there. I've watched him on there for, you know, quite a while now. But now you're starting to do this thing about thinking like a pro. You're taking these things and you said this thing. It took me back. You said it to Jim, and I, like, replayed it, and then I sent it to my son, and then I sent it to my daughter, and it's this good. So I want you to share with my audience about the gaps. And it was so good that I've actually, I'm not gonna send it to some of the athletes I work with, too. So talk about that. It's because it's a baseball analogy, but it's a life analogy. That's huge.
- [66:01]
Sean Casey
Yeah, well, you know, I was, you know, I want to get in or not want to get in. I'm into coaching. I coach, you know, obviously, college, athlet, some pro players and all that stuff. But, you know, this program I developed, it's called the Powers and the Gaps. And I just wanted to relate it to baseball because when you think of baseball and Ed, you know, you know as well as I do, you want to be one of the best players in the game. You play in the gaps.
- [66:22]
Ed Mylett
That's right.
- [66:22]
Sean Casey
You play in the gaps. You got to shoot the gaps to be one of the best power hitters, you got to hit the ball out in the gaps to be one of the best in the game. At the end of the day, right, your center fielders, your right foot, they gotta fly into the gaps to make a play, right? And so I look at that like, hey, the powers and the gaps in life, too. That's what I love about baseball. It mirrors life. Like, baseball's not easy. Hey, life's not easy, too. It wasn't meant to be. Baseball wasn't meant to be. Life's not meant to be easy. Like, none of us are exonerated from the uncertainty, the hard work, right? And the struggles of life and the struggles of baseball, right? At the end of the day, so the power's in the gaps. And I thought about, what is it, man? So the G of the gaps is that gratitude, man? Are we showing up every day? Are we connecting to what this is all about? Are we connecting to the gratitude of, like, when you wake up in the morning, are you saying, hey, thank you. Oh, man, I got an. I do. I say this. I say this to my kids all the time. If they listen, they're probably gonna listen to this podcast and they're like, oh, here goes dad jumping off his. Every morning. I say to my kids, like, my two daughters are still home, Carly and Jillian, that are home, but my sons are in college, and I still tell them, and I say, hey, man, the chances you being here of a human being are 1 in 400 trillion, right? And you know that, too. You win the life lottery every day. Like, right, Right. And so, like. And I think of generational gratitude, right? I think of this, like, so your parents had to meet, then your grandparents had to meet. And then if I go back to my. My Irish heritage in County Cork, Ireland, the potato famine came. Some more cases had decided to have kids. And if you go back to the generations, it's like. It's so ridiculous. Like a 10th generation grandparent. 4000 of those people had to get together. Fred my let to be here, right? It's incredible. So, however awesome you think you are an awesome thing to think are. Yeah, you are. And I want to tell people that. I wanted to. I want to be like, dude, you're. You're a walking lottery ticket, bro. Why don't you start living like it, right? Why don't you start living like it? And that's, like. That's that gratitude, right? Like, oh, yeah, I got up.
- [68:17]
Nick Sanitasasso
Boom.
- [68:18]
Sean Casey
I hit the thing.
- [68:19]
Dave Meltzer
Yeah.
- [68:19]
Sean Casey
Hey, thank you. Yeah. For the life force of. My heart's gonna pump today a hundred thousand times. I have no idea how that's happening.
- [68:27]
Ed Mylett
It's the ultimate gift.
- [68:28]
Sean Casey
Well, I'm gonna breathe 25,000 times a day. How's that happening, Ed? I got 50 trillion cells digesting my food.
- [68:33]
Ed Mylett
What? Yes.
- [68:35]
Sean Casey
I'm a walking miracle, and so are you. There's only one Ed mylett, man. There's 8 billion dudes out there and women. There's only one Ed Mylett. There's only one Sean Case. And for anyone else out there, guess what? If you think life is tough and this and that, why don't you change it? Why don't you change the narrative? You start to look and you go, no, no, no, no. The narrative really is, you're one of a kind, brother. You're one of a kind. And we all started to think like that. I don't know. I think the world be a different place. That's how I think, man. So when I say the powers and the gaps, it's in the gratitude, right? It's in the a. The accountability for who you are, of how you think, of what narratives you tell yourself or what are your stories. It's also in the Perspective that you take in the p. Perspective in your process. And the s of the gaps is. It's also in the service. If you want to connect to this world and connect to people. Hey, man, serve someone. Serve somebody. How many times does somebody ask you for directions and you go, hey, beat it, dude. If somebody comes up, you ask your direction. Hey, man, two blocks down here. If you're in Pittsburgh, you don't know the street names. You're like, two blocks down here, don't know the street name. Make a Left at the 7:11, dude. People want to help. People want. So find people to serve. You don't necessarily have to go to a soup kitchen. Serve your. Serve your kids. Serve your dad if you have to when he's struggling or your mom or like, you're doing. Yeah, serve people that are in the grocery store, say, hi. You know, I mean, because they're. Because they're. They're. They're one of a kind, too.
- [69:58]
Ed Mylett
Yeah, bro. The gaps. That fires me up. I don't know that I've ever felt that much energy. No, but I love it because, like, I also think a lot of things in life is in our energy. It's actually how you feel people. You're always making people feel something, Right. It blows my mind how few human beings are intentional about that thing. Like, you're always making another person feel something, so why not be intentional about what it is? By the way, you are always feeling something. Take some control over that, right? Take some control over your own energy. Energy is influence. Energy. People respond to what they feel way more than the actual words you say. Like this thing today, people are gonna go, that was unbelievable. I almost drove off the road. They were at level six on the treadmill. They're. And when it's done, there'll be two or three. They're. Remember the gaps. They're going to remember your high school story, but at the end, they're going to remember how they felt, how you made them feel. That's how when you think about someone you love, you can't describe. Like, they're smart, they're sick. No, it's how they make you feel. Right? So it's the how you feel part of your life. Like, that's what's. That's one of your magic things, man. Is like, anytime I've listened to you, it's why I want people to follow you, too. What's Instagram for you?
- [71:11]
Sean Casey
My Instagram is he. Mayor's office. Mlb. Yeah. What?
- [71:13]
Ed Mylett
By the way, what is. That's really not easy to remember at the mayor's office.
- [71:17]
Sean Casey
At the mayor's office. Mlb.
- [71:19]
Ed Mylett
What's the mayor thing, dude?
- [71:22]
Sean Casey
A guy who's the head coach at Ohio State right now. When I was in the Cape Cod League, this guy, Bill Mose, yellow, you know, he was like. He was a real serious guy at the time. And I'm like, man, this guy. I don't know if this guy likes me. He's so serious, you know, And I'm, you know, me, and I'm coming in, hey, what's going on? And he's like, bro. He's like, dude. He's like, you talk to everybody. He goes, it's almost like you're lobbying for votes to be the mayor or something, you know? And it kind of stuck. And I remember Carl Ravitch one time I hit a ball in the Gap in 1999. I, you know, slide in, second basement. He's like, hey, and that's a rocket right there by the. They call him the mayor Sean Casey. All of a sudden, you know, it just kind of stuck because I'm talking to everybody at first and, dude, I don't know, man. It is. It's that energy. When I remember, like, you know, who's your favorite guy, man? Lance Berkman would come and talk about energy. He'd come to great conversation. But I just, you know, I love people, man.
- [72:14]
Ed Mylett
I think that energy is the most important thing. And I, like, when I. When Romy told me to talk with you, he goes, dude, you're gonna believe this guy's energy. You're literally not gonna believe this dude's energy. And I had already watched you and knew you, but actually meeting you, it's like, it's a fact. And, like, I root for you now. Like, I root for you. That was a great conversation. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. All right, welcome back to the show, everybody. I'm honored today, Today's special, and I think it's going to be a show that you'll never forget the rest of your life. That's my outcome for today. And I invited two friends of mine, two people that I'm proud to have any association with. And we're going to talk about Afghanistan today. We're going to talk about the Middle east, just. And even our role in general in the world with the military. And then we're also going to talk about why you should care. Why does it matter to you? Right. With all the things you have going on in your life, it's easy to disregard these things. And I didn't want this to be one of these cnn, Fox News, you know, filtered type stuff. I didn't want one of these generals on here. I wanted real warriors, people that have been on the ground that have operated, that can give you real feedback. And it's the two people that I've had on my show that I respect the most in my life. And so I'm honored to have with me today first, Rob O'. Neill. Rob said over 400 combat missions, his life, that we know of. You know, you've all heard Rob on my show before. He was part of the Lone Survivor rescue. First guy in the boat in Captain Phillips raid, and is probably best known for killing a guy named Osama bin Laden. And when I talked to Rob, I said, rob, I got a new friend named Rich Devini. He says, that's the finest SEAL I ever served with. So that's pretty high praise.
- [73:51]
Demar Hamlin
Rich.
- [73:51]
Ed Mylett
20 years SEAL commander, 13 deployments, 11 of them in Afghanistan and Iraq. And he trained a. He was a trainer for a group that we're not supposed to name that rhymes with Seal Team 6. It rhymes with that. And so he's got some significant experience to share with us, too. So, gentlemen, thank you for being here today. Honored to have you.
- [74:12]
Rob O'Neill
Hey, Ed, it's great to be with you.
- [74:13]
Rich Devini
Yeah, great to be here. And let me just give you a call out, because, you know, Rob and I, you know, we lost contact, we lost touch. And that happens just because, you know, when you. When you leave the military, it's kind of a natural progression. But, you know, you were the reason that Rob and I got to finally talk to each other after, I think it was five or six years. Years it had been.
- [74:32]
Rob O'Neill
So, yeah, it's been a long time. And Ed actually sent me a message saying that he interviewed you. And I said, I wasn't sure if I didn't mention you by name at the time, Rich, but I had quoted you, I think, two or three times when I was on Ed's podcast first time. And I didn't know if you were either going to love me or hate me for doing that, like I was stealing your material. But I know that a lot of stuff you said to me when we were working together, we can get into that has stuck with me. Not just in the Navy, not just at Seal Team 6, but afterwards in the 10th, 10, whatever years I've been in the private sector.
- [75:00]
Rich Devini
Well, I appreciate that. I do, yeah. It's good to be. It's good to be with this group. It really is.
- [75:04]
Ed Mylett
It's certainly. And thank you both for your service. I didn't say that. I wish this was the conversation that's been had in the country the last three weeks and is ongoing, you know, some disagreement. We said we're going to elevate the conversation, a real information, real understanding of the dynamics and how things happen and how they work, decisions that are made. And this is how it should be. Because Rich and Rob don't agree on everything. Right. And I don't agree with both of them on everything. And I have no basis for half of the things that I believe. That's why I've been asking these guys these questions today. But I. What, Rob, it made me think about, you know, the other thing with you guys that strikes me is the level of humility is so remarkable for the incredible things you've gone through and protected our country for, protected the world for. And Rob, just for a minute, I don't. You've been on the show, we've covered it before, and I want to go through the whole story, but I just think this stuff just sounds like a video game to even someone like me, right? These are just like. It's literally a video game. Then there's the real world, men and women that are on the ground protecting the world, protecting the country. And I said this many times, Rob, since I've met you, when people ask me about you, I said that whatever you were doing the day that Osama bin Laden was killed, whatever you were worried about, whatever was your big problem that day. Imagine what o' Neill and his dudes were doing that day, what they were thinking, the bravery level of you and your partners there. I just wanna take you through them. I want them just to feel this for a minute of what's gone on. To give you the freedom to argue whether we should. An open, closed border, to go protest if you want to, to argue over guns, to argue over taxes, to vote in an election. These things matter. And I don't think people understand this. This is not promised forever. And there's guys like Rob and people like Rich that ensure the fact that we get to have these arguments where we live, in our freedoms. So, Rob, the thing that you said to me about the bin Laden raid, all of it's remarkable, but you said to me, I knew I was dead already dead. I was tired of thinking about it. I'm just going over here. Let me just die. I want you all to imagine whatever you're worried about today, whatever you're doing today. So take us just for a minute, if you would, in brief, but just let them feel this for a minute. Everything's led up. You now know that it's him. You now know you're going to get him. And you're on the helicopter leaving Afghanistan, coming over. What's going through, this is what has happened to protect us, everybody.
- [77:25]
Rob O'Neill
Well, I mean, it's, it's the, it's the human element because there's, there's humanity involved with everything. I don't care who, who it is that you kill someone, love them, and, and you get to a level where you're questioning, are we killing each other just because we were born in different
- [77:39]
Demar Hamlin
parts of the world?
- [77:39]
Rob O'Neill
Had it been different, would we have gotten along? Weird stuff like that. But I even had a conversation with my father right before I launched on the bin Laden raid. And he, he would always say to me, I wish I was going with you, when I'd call him Prior and I'd say, yeah, I wish you were too, dad. But this time he said, I wish I was going with you. And I said, don't worry, dad. I'm with some really great people. And so I knew I was going there with my, my, my brothers. And we knew that this is what we're here for. This is, this is why we came. This is why we joined. And the acceptance once the acceptance of giving your life for the greater good, you kind of lose the, you kind of lose the fear a little bit. Because the realization that I could, I could pull myself off this mission anytime, but I'm letting them down. And if I live to be 90 years old, would I give every single day to have one shot at this? This is why I'm here. I'm here to fight for the men and women that died in the tower. I'm here for the Americans, the first Americans to fight Al Qaeda on Flight 93. And before they fought Al Qaeda, they voted. And that's what, that's, that's what America is. That's what the Western ideology is. That's freedom. And there's just so much there. I'm with these guys. I might die, but I'm safe, I'm good and just getting there. And it's kind of like taking everything because these are real people that can barely afford their mortgages. Now we're in a bad. Of bad Pakistan. And I was in the back because of where we ended up. And I'm watching guys, we could blow up at any second. But everyone's doing their jobs like we taught each other. Slowest, smooth, smoothest fast. But then like Rich said, shooting someone, but then running across the room to grab a child because I don't want that kid to be more afraid than he needs to be and just realizing these are the good guys and this is what we're fighting for. It's bigger than this. It's not just us here. This is for everyone. And when we got up to the room, I just followed a guy that was braver than me up the last set of stairs and he went one way and I went the other. And after I even shot Bin Laden, his two year old son was standing there. And I remember as a father thinking, this poor kid has got nothing to do with this. So it's, this is, this is real human emotions. And you know, Bin Laden, you know, millions of people loved him. It's all because of different ideologies, that's all because of different educations. Was he an asshole?
- [79:40]
Sean Casey
Yeah.
- [79:40]
Rob O'Neill
Does he deserve to die? Absolutely. Do I feel bad we didn't take him alive? No. But, you know, this is what we're. This, this is it. And these are, these are the good guys. But then when you get away from it too, you know, this is a really big world, but it's a really small world and you know, it's like, you know, yes, we need to meet force with force at the point of origin and there needs to be people there willing to do it. But you know, there's a, there's a, there's just, there seems to me to be a bigger, a bigger picture than that. We mentioned people that have never been there and played the video games. Whenever I see someone walking down the street with a. I like to kick doors and shooters in the face. My reaction is, no, you don't, because you've never done it.
- [80:17]
Rich Devini
Yeah, and you could and you probably wouldn't be able to. It's funny. Let me just add one thing because it's interesting. And it was a conversation I had with another friend of mine, mutual friend of ours. Obviously I won't give his name, but I remember he and I were, at one point we came back and we were a little upset because we came back to a nation after, you know, I don't know what tour it was. And it just seemed like everybody was hyper focused on the Kardashians and American Idol and all of this stuff and we're kind of frustrated. I remember us having coffee and we're talking about. And we came to a realization, and the realization was this. And again, Rob will feel this one. We used to leave for these deployments usually in the middle of the night because of the way the flights worked, right? So we'd have to go muster at like 11pm and then get on the plane like midnight and fly out. And so my kids who were small, they were always in bed, you know, and I'd always go into their room and just watch them. And, you know, every parent probably does this, but I always, you know, watch my. I always used to watch my kids sleep. But especially on the nights that I was leaving, I'd go in and watch them and I'd wonder what they were dreaming about, and I would hope. I always, I always, I hoped they were dreaming about, like, Disneyland and sugar plums and fairy, whatever it is, right? And I realized, and my buddy and I realized that that's why we do it. We do it because we don't want our kids to have to see the stuff we see. We don't want our kids to have to think about the stuff that we think about. We want to preserve a little bit of that blissful ignorance. And honestly, we do that happily. We do that with great pride. And that's cool. It really is. And so I'm not mad at the Kardashians anymore.
- [81:51]
Ed Mylett
I just, I, you're, you're both special men. You just are and takes my breath away. I, I. When you talk, there's a sense of emotion in me that's not just gratitude. I'm not sure what it is with both of you. Every time I've talked with each of you, I'm curious. I don't think I've ever asked you this, Rob, and maybe you can't share it. Maybe you don't know. How is this, how is this journey of yours? You spent most of your life doing this. Like you were one guy when you were. You're not even sure which group of the military you were joining initially, right?
- [82:27]
Rob O'Neill
Yeah.
- [82:27]
Ed Mylett
And then you're another guy sitting there right now, having had experiences that are unconscionable, that almost no human being that's ever walked the earth has had the experiences you've had, Right? I mean, you've had a life experience, situations and environments that the combination of which you may be the only one or one of the very few. Do you know how it's affected you? Do you, do you. Can you could describe it if you are even aware?
- [82:51]
Rob O'Neill
Well, I'm just, I'm just lucky because, you know, every day I used to. I was fortunate to go to work with people who were better than me. But I learned being a dude from Montana who joined the Navy basically because the Marine recruiter was in the office. I couldn't swim, and I ended up in Bin Laden's bedroom as a Navy seal, which it proved to me that it doesn't matter what you look like or where you're from, you can do anything as long as you keep a positive attitude. One of the things in SEAL training that an instructor said to me, the abridged version, was when you feel like quitting, which you will, do not quit now, quit tomorrow. If you can keep quitting tomorrow, you can do anything, anything you want to do in life. Just wait till tomorrow. I was going to quit today, but I'll just quit tomorrow and quit tomorrow. And then as far as that was the best experience of my life. I missed a lot of time in the United States. I missed a lot of time away from my daughters, but I was over there. And when you get into the, when you're the number two man, number three man going through the door, you're no longer fighting for the political party in charge. You're fighting for the men and women next to you. And so it's very important for a lot of these veterans to realize what they did was not in vain. Because it comes to a point where someone needs to take a stand and you took the stand, and that's it. And there's people that don't have the platforms that I do. They need the recognition. The Marines that were out there walking in a ridiculously hot sun through the minefields with the people next to them who've seen their brothers and sisters killed in action. What they did was not in vain. And the message I would just tell them is, is, you know, a lot of people are going through it. And the important thing is, once in a while, don't try to self medicate, you know, put the bottle down, call someone. Even if you're, if you're having a bad day, call someone because they might be having a good day. And when you're, you know, when you, or you're having a great day and you get out of the gym and you have the endorphins going, call someone because they might be having a bad day and we can get through this together. You know, it's nothing you did was in vain. It doesn't, you know, it doesn't matter who made a bad decision. You made the right decision to be there. And again, we're the Good.
- [84:37]
Rich Devini
Guys, I'll add something because I think this is one of our. I lost. While we lost several friends. I lost one of my friends right before I got out of the Navy, actually. And we were. We were at Dover and we were receiving his. His remains. And it was a bunch of us buddies who. Who did that. And one of our. One of the guys pulled us all into a room. He said, hey, guys, let's just get in the room here for a second. And he said, hey, we need to tell each other we love each other more often. We need to remember to do that, okay? We're not doing it enough. And so that's what I would say to everybody out there. Tell the people that you care about that you love them more often, okay? Because it only does good. It really does. And I know you have couple. Well, we're not Navy seals anymore. We're former Navy seals. Right? But a couple former Navy seals here. And if we can sit here and tell people to tell them. Tell people that you love them more often. Do it right. This is what we need in this country. We need to love each other more. We need to have empathy. It's okay to disagree with each other. What's not okay is if we don't talk to each other. So empathy, love, and discourse is what we need.
- [85:39]
Ed Mylett
Oh, my God. Nyah.
- [85:40]
Rob O'Neill
Do you see why he was such a great leader? That's another line I'm gonna steal from Rich.
- [85:43]
Ed Mylett
Yeah, it's mine, too. I got it, too. By the way, you guys, it goes without saying, thank you. I keep getting emotions because I know how special this conversation is. I know that so many people needed it. I kind of feel like both of you guys need it, too, like all your brothers.
- [85:56]
Rob O'Neill
No doubt. No doubt.
- [85:58]
Ed Mylett
Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Now on to our next guest. All right, welcome back to the show, everybody. So the man that we're going to talk with today is very important man to me. There are not five people on planet Earth that I would rather speak to today than this young man and my dream list for people that would be on this podcast. He is at the very, very top of the list because he's a story of resiliency, faith, strength, comeback. And you all know his story. On January 2, 2023, with about 5 minutes and 58 seconds left in the game against the Cincinnati Bengals, my dear friend here tackled wide receiver T Higgins was running with the ball. He hit Demar and in the chest with his helmet, and demar made the tackle as he always does, and he got up after that tackle, stood up for a second, and then collapsed on the field. And in that moment, our country was captivated, and literally hundreds of millions of people were in prayer for this precious young man. I don't know that I've ever said this and meant it more. I am so grateful that you are here today, and welcome to the show. Demar Hamlin, good to have you here, brother. Somebody who's going through, they're on the bottom right now. Right now in their life. They're like, man, I'm down right now. You know, I just. Nothing's working out. You know, I. My business just failed, or I just broke up with my relationship, or, man, just nothing I've done has been clicking for years. I don't feel good about myself. I'm down. And this may sound like an interesting metaphor, but they need sort of a life version of CPR to get back up again. They need some life breathed back into them, literally. What would you say to somebody who's just down right now and wants to make a comeback? What would you say to that person who's struggling with that right now?
- [88:05]
Demar Hamlin
First thing I would say is, man, you can't. You can't conquer the world in one day. So, you know, just take yourself out of that big perspective and see how you can take one step and put the right foot in front of the left foot. You know, Something I've heard a while is you can't sit in the pool of pity, you know? So even when you feel that feeling of, you know, you want to harp on your. Your situation or your circumstances too much, get up and move. Like, literally, I mean, get up and move, you know, so you can get yourself out of the feeling before you get sunk too deep into it. That's the first way I would say just, you know, to deal with the emotions that come off of your situation. Don't allow yourself to sit in it. Get up and move. And don't think you can. Just know that you can't conquer the world in one day. So wherever it is you want to be, you know, you got to take it step by step, one day at a time. You know, I knew that I had to take it step by step, one day at a time. I couldn't worry about, you know, trying to suit up and play in the playoffs again, or I would have drove myself crazy. Literally. I would have drove myself Insane. I had to know that it's going to be a journey. And even through this season that I just went through, I, you know, people deal with ACLs and don't come back in the time period that I did or any other injuries that don't come back in the time period that I did. So I know it's going to be a journey. Even when some people return off the ACLs, they're not, they're not their same selves that first season out their back. They need time, they need steps. They got to put the right foot in front of the left and they got to walk the journey. They got to go through the ugly phases. You know, I feel like I just went through an ugly phase this whole season. You know what I mean? But I'm super proud of myself, you know, so go through the ugly phases. Don't be afraid of it. Embrace it. That's the big, that's the biggest part of it all. Focus on taking one foot in front of the right. Go through the ugly phases and just continue to try to get better one day at a time, one step at a time. And write down what you feel is necessary to accomplish what you want to get done and then follow it. Make no negotiations with yourself whenever you set the plan out. Like, if you say you're going to do certain things at certain times or with certain people, make sure you do them, you know what I mean? Hold yourself to a different standard and accountability so that you can get out of your situation. You know, you can't get out of a situation doing the same things that put you into the situation. So, you know, that's, that's like insanity doing the same things and expecting different results, you know, and I'm kind of, I'm kind of, you know, preaching that message to, you know, a lot of my personal friends in my life, you know, who are. No, they complain about certain things or they bring certain things to my attention and then, you know, they keep doing the same things. You know, I'm at the point where it's like, you know, if you're going to keep dealing with the same certain type of things, don't even tell me because, like, don't, don't sit up here and just waste all my time when you okay with accepting the same things. I got you where you are. If you want to get yourself to a different situation, you got to do different things to get different results. Yeah, that's my tell you perspective on it.
- [91:02]
Ed Mylett
That's so good. I. Brother, I'm just sitting here Going, you got to be kidding me. This is so good. You know what you are? You're a great perspective giver. Just you who you are. I got to tell you, today was a particularly not great morning for me. And I was talking to my daughter, and I said, she goes, how you doing today, Daddy? I said, I'm. I'm not having a great morning, Bella. I'm not having a good day. And then we hung up, and I was kind of just re. I've been so excited about this interview for so long. It's kind of like re. Preparing a little bit. And then I literally said to myself, I just. Everybody hear this for whatever you're going through. I said, really? You're not having a great day compared to what the day Demar had on January 2, 2023. In that moment, that's a bad day compared to me. I'm at a couple meetings. Not go the right way, right? And this man was in front of millions of people, literally fighting for his life. Does. Does it give you a perspective, brother? Like, when you're having what was used to be a bad day, you're like, well, not compared to, like, compared to what right? Do you ever have that thought? Does it give you perspective on that, man?
- [92:08]
Demar Hamlin
Every day.
- [92:09]
Ed Mylett
Every day.
- [92:10]
Demar Hamlin
To be honest, you know, there's no day where I can, you know, allow myself to get too low anymore because, you know, I have the appreciation of life, you know? So no matter what's going on in life, just to still be here is a blessing because we all know some people who. Who are not, and we all wish that we could have some people still with us. So no matter my situation, I'm able to allow myself to appreciate something. You know, it's hard to appreciate everything, you know, especially when, you know, for the people that are listening, especially when, you know, you're going through situations where your emotions are rising and, you know, you. You're feeling whatever you're feeling the most. But I'm always able to. To bring myself to appreciate at least one thing, no matter what it is, no matter if it's the ability to still play football, because that could have been taken away from me. No matter if it's, you know, just appreciating family. My little brother, my mom, my dad, you know, no matter if it's just, you know, appreciating a deep breath, man, or appreciating wherever I am in the world, you know, if I'm in California, if I'm in at home, if I'm anywhere in the world, you know, I always bring myself to find at least one thing that I can appreciate, and it shapes your perspective differently. It really does.
- [93:26]
Ed Mylett
Wow, brother, I love you. I'm. Two things. I got one last question. One, I'm grateful for you.
- [93:33]
Demar Hamlin
You as well. I thank you for this. This was therapy for me.
- [93:37]
Ed Mylett
Good. Well, me too, and millions of people. The second thing is I just, as a brother, I'm proud. I'm. Shoot, I'm getting. I'm just very proud of you. Very proud of you. You're. You're remarkable. All right, a football question, because they'll be pissed if I don't ask. So are you free agent?
- [93:54]
Demar Hamlin
No.
- [93:55]
Ed Mylett
Okay, so you're under contract.
- [93:56]
Demar Hamlin
Buffalo Bills. I'm a Buffalo Bill.
- [93:59]
Ed Mylett
Okay, because. Because I read something today, Bill's Mafia. I read something today, you know, I'm gonna ask you about. They were like, hey, I wouldn't mind ending my career playing for the Steelers, right? Is that an accurate quote? Like, I just make you awkward. I asked you, I didn't push you too hard on what happened on the field. So I gotta, like, is I. People want to know what's gonna happen with this young man. So we know you're, you're a Bill, but is there a little party that you eventually would love to finish up with the Steelers or you want to be a Bill for life?
- [94:27]
Demar Hamlin
I want to be a Bill for life. You know, that's the team I truly took a chance on me and gave me opportunity, you know, to show what I can do. You know, I'm a late round draft pick. Throughout the whole entire draft, you know, I watch my name sit as the first name to best taken, you know, for like two, three rounds, you know, and I'm just like, will I ever get my opportunity? You know, I knew I had what it takes, you know, but you know, opportunity, like preparation doesn't always meet opportunity. I was prepared, but I didn't know if the opportunity was there. So, you know, the Bills, when they selected me, you know, I was, I was. I felt so blessed, you know, and I didn't know anything about Buffalo. I didn't know anything about Bill's mafia at the time. But, you know, it didn't take long for me to. For them to show me who exactly who they were. And you know, for me personally, and then doing my research as well, just seeing how they treated their players, how they treat other players on other teams, you know, like donated $80,000 to other people's team, like to other teams foundations. Like, it was, it was just Unbelievable. Of like the support that Bill's mafia has for the players of the Buffalo Bills. So first and foremost, I want to clear all ear. I want to be a Buffalo Bill for life because that's the team that took a chance on me when I answered that question, you know, I answered it from the perspective of, you know, a childhood perspective, you know, a kid that, you know, grew up his entire life. Like I told you, man, I had to dream for a long time. I had the dream for a long time, you know, just making it to the NFL and just being able to have an opportunity to, you know, take care of my family and give back to my community something that I didn't have as a kid growing up, you know, so that was always my driving force. But you know, as a kid, you know, like playing the game, I always created myself as a Steeler and I always, you know, played the game like that just as a kid. So the question they asked me, I answered it from a childhood perspective. And then I also answered it from the perspective of, no, I don't want to play for the Steelers right now because I'm a Buffalo Bill. You know what I mean? Like, I'm still under contract with the Buffalo Bills. And then on top of that, and then on top of that, you know, I spent five years at the University of Pittsburgh and I shared the facility with Distillers. That's how I built a close relationship, you know, with them. And then, so that's college five years and then four years of high school where we had championship games at, you know, the stadium. So, you know, I've had my fair share of time there. How I answered the question was
- [97:08]
Ed Mylett
it
- [97:08]
Demar Hamlin
would more so be a dream to finish career than to be playing now. You know, and I'm, and I say that I said that lightly because, you know, you see players all the time who have career, they'll have like a 8, 10 year career with this team and then they'll go play for this team for X amount of time. And then when they finally retire, they'll go sign that $1 contract with the team that they felt most connected to and then retire with that team. So, you know, it was, it was a lightly answered question that kind of like super stirred up social media. But to be honest, you know, even through all the chaos of it that it caused, I'm just super excited to finally see people excited to see me play football again. Yeah, that was a great feeling that above all else, you know, above all the chaos it might have caused, that was Just a great feeling, you know what I mean? I dealt with so much, you know, controversy and, you know, like, just craziness all year long. Just. It just if. If I needed to. If I needed to be playing, if I was just all of a sudden just this trash player, if I just was never good at football, and I'm only famous for one thing and this and that, you know, So I went through a whole year of that, you know, and, you know, just chirping, you know, I don't allow none of that to enter my inner matrix. But, you know, it was super exciting to see people, you know, excited to see me play football again. So, like, no, it turned me up a little bit, man. It made me go harder in the gym. It made me go harder in the gym those days because, you know, I'm excited for them to see what I got in the tank, too.
- [98:50]
Ed Mylett
That was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Here's an excerpt I did with our next guest. What is a singular transformative thought that somebody could think that would change that? Because I know you discuss it in the book. And so I really want to drill down on that. What is one thought, one thing that we could think? Like, I'm stuck.
- [99:11]
Nick Sanitasasso
How do I get out?
- [99:12]
Ed Mylett
Yeah, you have to evaluate the meaning you take from things so it's not the events of your life. First off, what's thinking? Like, let's just look at that. What's thinking? Thinking is the process of asking and answering questions to ourselves. I get really deep on that in the book. So thoughts are created by questions. So you have a repeated question that you ask yourself regularly. So two things you do. You need to change the question you ask yourself. Not the statement you make yourself, but the question you ask yourself. And I'll give you a thought about that. I literally list, like, 50 questions to ask yourself. But the other thing is that it's not the events of our life that define us. It's the meaning we take from it. That meaning then creates an emotion. That emotion causes us to take a decision. Okay, so, for example, you and I, God forbid, worst thing ever, we walked out house, when I leave here, and there was a car accident, and someone was killed right here. And we had to walk to the scene of that accident. So that's an event. You and I would go to that event and go, my gosh, this is one of the worst tragedies, the worst tragedy I've ever experienced in my life. We'd be sad. We would create a series of emotions. Same exact event. Mother Teresa was here. She would tell you that it was the honor of her lifetime to be present when someone's soul leaves their body and goes to heaven. Same exact event, totally different meaning, totally different emotion. That's an extreme example. So what you have to start asking yourself is, when something happens, this may seem weird. What would I need to believe about this so that it would serve me? My dad's drinking. I could be the son of an alcoholic, and I could have all those negatives in there, and that's where I come from. And my dad was this. My dad was that. Or I could say, what do I need to mean what do I need to believe about that event? Well, what I need to believe, which is true, is that's where I got my best skill sets. What I did is I learned about redemption. What I learned is what I didn't want to have. So it's asking yourself the powerful question, what would I need to be? Here's the other thing. When you have a negative thought, awareness of a thought makes it lose its power over you. So for me, I have those thoughts sometimes, too. And I'll go, I'm doing it again. And then you get above your thought. When you get above your thought, it's almost like a little game you're watching play. It can't impact you like it does when you're in the thought. So get above your thoughts. You don't have to believe everything you think. And most of the stuff you think is bullsheesh most of the time, installed out of a flawed question you keep asking yourself. So just ask yourself, what would I need to believe about this so that it would serve me? And when you. And then sometimes you can ask yourself, what would so and so do in this situation? Use one of your models. How would Jasmine handle this situation? I do that often. How would one of my mentors handle this situation? So it's ask a better question question. You'll get a better answer. You'll take away a better meaning. I love this. So again, let's get super granular. What is a common question that you see people asking and be like, there's a better question. What is the common question? What is the better question? Yeah, one of the common questions is one of the, what do I need to worry about right now? We all have a question going on in our mind all the time. So, like, when you wake up in the morning, there's A question you've asked yourself upon waking that creates an emotion for you, for many people, before they even lead to bed. What do I need to worry about today? By the way? Here's another one. Here's a big one. Even though we don't say it that way, like, what am I afraid of right now? My dad, till he died, when I would get off the phone with him, go, hey, be careful. I don't even know what it meant. You ever have a parent say that to you? Hey, be careful. I'm like, I'm 46 years old. Like, be careful. Do you even know? He didn't even know he was saying it. Right. But what does that note when you say that to a child all of their life, be careful. Oh, what should I be afraid of? And I want to be a good boy, and I want to behave and I want. So all of these little things that happen, there's these really quiet questions you're asking yourself all the time. For me, I learned one thing about me, of all these tools I have is like, about five years ago, I was like, you know, it's interesting, man. I create chaos in my life. Like, I stir things up even though they're going good. And I. And I'm like. And I used to tell people I function so well in chaos, because I do. And I'm really familiar with it. But the reason I create chaos is I grew up in it, right? So I, no matter what's going on in my life, I find a way to get my chaos. I'm going to find a way to get my chaos. We all, in the book, I talk about emotions. We all have like the five or six emotions we get on a weekly basis, regardless of the circumstances. So if those emotions are fear, worry, anxiety, lack, depression, anger, anger down, whatever they might be, you find a way to get them, don't you? You find a way to get these emotions no matter what the conditions are. Maybe a day or two, you don't. But over a week, you're like, I got my anxiety, I got my fear, I got my worry, I got my lack. Or you could say the emotions I want are joy, ecstasy, passion, right? For me, I got all the ones I want. But there was this lingering one which was chaos. And how do I get rid of. It's really hard. It still comes up. But what I do is I go, I'm doing it again. I'm doing the chaos thing. I'm doing it, you dummy. I'm doing. And I get above the thought. It almost becomes like Watching a little carnival ride down here that I'm doing. I'm like, you dumbass, what are you doing again? Chaos again. What would I need to believe about this? So it wasn't chaotic and I trained myself to do it. To believe about this. What do I need to believe about it? What's the meaning I gotta take? Yeah. And I'm like, I've got. I've got happiness and joy and ecstasy and passion and all that other stuff. But there's this one dude I used to have fear and worry and anxiety. You know, I probably still have a little. The worry thing where I'm like, what am I worried about right now? You ever drive in your car, you're doing something like. I don't even know what I'm worried about right now.
- [104:21]
Nick Sanitasasso
Yes.
- [104:22]
Ed Mylett
You ever have that happen? I sometimes think my mind maps to what do I need to worry about right now. It's exactly what it's doing. It's literally looking for something to worry about. It is your ras and it is your map. It is a pattern. The perfect word for it is map. So it's being a weird of it when it happens and then beginning to be intentional in replacing it with the other thing. It's exactly what's happening. And it's me too. Human beings have this. And here's the other thing. It's never gone. If that software was installed in you when you were a child, and by the way, you could say, no, no, no. My parents have one of the most loving, unbelievable people in the world. My dad meant to protect me by going, hey, be careful, be careful. What a weird thing to go out into the world, think about, I better be careful. I better be careful. I better be careful. That's not a way to live your life. Underneath that is fear. And let me say one last thing. No, I say in the book, emotions aren't negative or positive, they just are. It's the dosage. Like, if I never had fear. Fear makes you focus. Fear was given to us in the caveman days, so, like, T. Rex didn't eat us. Right. So, like, fear is healthy in doses, but to live in it, it's concerning. Anxiety is not that bad for me. A little bit of it, because it makes me prepare. Right? Right. If you had no anxiety about this conversation, perhaps you wouldn't have prepared. So it's the dosage of it. Just realize that. Don't beat yourself up when you have them. It's to the extent that you get it. Okay, I can see that. Like right now, I mean, people could have stopped listening at like five minutes in and got a good dose of Ed. My leg. Thank
- [105:51]
Sean Casey
you.
- [106:09]
Nick Sanitasasso
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