How to Start Winning Again

Summary

THE ED MYLETT SHOW

Episode: How to Start Winning Again
Release Date: October 18, 2025
Host: Ed Mylett | Cumulus Podcast Network
Featured Guests: Cody Sanchez, Demar Hamlin, James Lawrence (Iron Cowboy)

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Overview

This power-packed weekend special is devoted to the art and science of "starting to win again" in your life—whether you’re facing setbacks, distractions, lost momentum, or a desire for next-level achievement. Ed Mylett blends his signature energy and real-talk motivation with conversations with business leader Cody Sanchez, NFL player Demar Hamlin, and ultramarathoner James Lawrence (Iron Cowboy). The episode is filled with practical frameworks for destroying distraction, embracing sacrifice, recovering from setbacks, building next-level habits, and reframing what it means to win.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Power and Peril of Distraction (Ed Mylett, 01:43–07:54)

• Total Immersion: Most people underestimate their potential because they never go "psycho obsessed, laser focused" on anything.
  • Quote: “Humans have an unreal capacity to get great at things, even if they don't have a natural talent for it, if they're immersed in it.” (01:53)
• Cultural Diversion: Society, media, and even our own interests (sports, TV, social media, gossip) are designed to keep us distracted from our dreams.
• Living Vicariously: Many live through sports teams, celebrities, or even their children, confusing others’ wins or losses with their own.
  • Quote: “You running around wearing a jersey with another grown man's name on the back of it…isn't that a little bit ridiculous?” (03:19)
• A Call to Refocus: Your true wins are the ones you claim for yourself—none of these external victories meaningfully change your life.

2. Embracing Suffering: The Price of Winning (Ed Mylett, 07:54–16:29)

• Sacrifice as Progress: Pain, discomfort, and sacrifice are not signals to quit but indicators that you’re moving towards your dream.
  • Analogy: You don’t question pain in the gym; you accept it as a sign of growth—apply this everywhere.
• Pre-Negotiation of Pain: Decide in advance what you’re willing to suffer or risk, rather than constantly renegotiating your commitment.
  • Quote: “The price you will pay for not making your dream come true, far greater than the one that you will pay to make it come true.” (09:56)
• Scarcity vs. Worth Mindset: Scarcity mindset asks, “What will it cost?”; a winning mindset asks, “Is it worth it?”
  • Quote: “Successful people and wealthy people have a subtle distinction. They don't look at price, they look at worth.” (13:04)
• Commitment as Kryptonite Removal: Total commitment is freeing—eliminate the habit of constant negotiation with yourself.

3. Healthy Obsession as the Secret to Happiness (Ed Mylett, 14:32–16:29)

• Focus = Fulfillment: The happiest, most fulfilling times in life occur during obsessive, high-focus periods (e.g., expecting a baby, early love, passionate business building).
  • Quote: “The most focused times in our life…the less distracted times in our life also equals the happiest times in our life.” (15:58)

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Featured Conversations

4. Business, Sacrifice, and Goal Setting with Cody Sanchez (17:24–25:39)

• Set Sacrifices, Not Just Goals: Instead of making lists of wants, list what you’re willing to give up. Cody and her husband do quarterly and annual “sacrifice lists.”
  • Quote: “Don’t tell me what you want. Tell me what you’re willing to do to get it.” (17:35, Cody)
• Sacrifice Pre-Negotiation: Avoid constant fatigue in decision-making by predetermining what you’ll give up. Cody shares how her ex-Navy SEAL husband’s routines eliminate decision fatigue.
• Levels of Ambition: There’s no shame in wanting a “level four” lifestyle, but be honest with yourself and partners about your ambitions.
  • “I am a psychopath that wants to be a multi, multi billionaire…I just like the game.” (19:26, Cody)
• Vacation Myth & Entrepreneur Reality: True momentum doesn’t allow for frequent vacations, especially during the “takeoff” phase of building a business.
• Two Philosophies in Life: You can choose family-centered or ambition-centered life blueprints, but be intentional—and honest—about your sacrifices.
• Tough Love Culture: The internet over-delivers on messages of ease, but more people need the truth: “It sucks, it’s worth it, it’s not going to be easy…but after you achieve, other people can’t assert their will as easily on you.” (22:29, Cody)

5. Resilience and Comeback with Demar Hamlin (27:05–38:49)

• Dealing with Setbacks: Take it one step at a time; don’t wallow—get up, move, and commit to incremental progress.
  • Quote: “You can’t conquer the world in one day…put the right foot in front of your left foot.” (28:03, Demar)
• Emotional Recovery: Don’t “sit in the pool of pity.” Focus on movement and micro-goals.
  • Quote: “Go through the ugly phases. Don’t be afraid of it, embrace it.” (28:55, Demar)
• Perspective Shift: Surviving his cardiac event gave Demar a profoundly grateful perspective. Even on hard days, he finds at least one thing to appreciate.
  • “There’s no day where I can…allow myself to get too low anymore because…I have the appreciation of life.” (32:06, Demar)
• Personal Accountability: Change requires new actions; don’t accept the things that put you in your situation if you want different results.
• Facing Rumors/Identity: Demar clarifies his loyalty to the Buffalo Bills and discusses the emotional rollercoaster of public attention.

6. Endurance and “One More” with James Lawrence (Iron Cowboy) (40:01–49:02)

• Post-Achievement Letdown: After completing 100 Ironmans in 100 days, James experienced confusion, depression, and a loss of identity.
  • Quote: “I was in such trauma and turmoil that my brain was protecting me and not allowing me to feel.” (41:07, James)
• Three Phases of Any Journey: Preparation, execution, and (crucially) post-experience recovery.
• Empathy Through Struggle: Going through deep challenge creates empathy and the capacity to help others.
• The Power of “One More”: Even at the end, James did Day 101 “for the integrity of the story” and the message: “When you are broken and when you have reached your limit, you can do one more.” (48:02, James)
• Ed reveals his next book is titled “One More,” underscoring the synergy of their philosophy.

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Solo Lesson: Seven Steps to Winning Habits (Ed Mylett, 49:36–end)

1. Specificity

• Define goals in exact terms (“I want $100k in income,” not “I want to be rich”).
• Memorable example: “Would you invest in a company that says ‘we made some money’?” (~51:12)

2. Catalyst Step

• Identify a “catalyst habit” (e.g., a liter of water at bedside to spark a hydration habit).
• Tie-in to “two-minute rule” (James Clear): small, repeatable beginnings.
• “Deliberation is delay—get moving.” (~55:32)

3. Eliminate Biggest Distraction

• Proactively identify and remove the #1 obstacle (Netflix, phone, self-doubt, etc.).
• “It's not always about adding a new habit, but removing something that's obstructing our outcome.” (~56:47)

4. Success Leaves Footprints

• Model (not copy) those who’ve succeeded in your chosen field.
• “If you want to know the road ahead, ask those coming back.” (~58:21)

5. Depth Perception

• Your dream is likely closer than you think—many are “one decision, one mentor, one habit away.”
• Analogy: “The Teslas were always there, but now you see them because they're important to you.” (~1:01:18)

6. Measure Performance

• What gets measured improves. Build a scoreboard for whatever you want to achieve.
• “Human beings, when they are measured, improve.” (~1:08:14)

7. Appropriate Celebration

• Reward yourself for real wins—don’t skip it (burnout risk!) but don’t overdo it (momentum killer).
• “The people that lose abandon the very habits that got them there in the first place.” (~1:13:12)

Bonus: Guard Against Judgment

• Don’t judge your former self (or others) harshly for not knowing then what you do now; wisdom accrues through experience.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• Ed Mylett:

  • “The price you will pay for not making your dream come true, far greater than the one that you will pay to make it come true.” (09:56)
  • “Cost is a distraction. Worth is a focus mechanism.” (14:32)
  • “The most focused times in our life…the less distracted times in our life also equals the happiest times.” (15:58)

• Cody Sanchez:

  • “Don’t tell me what you want. Tell me what you’re willing to do to get it.” (17:35)
  • “You should negotiate the price tag of your sacrifice ahead of time. Brilliant.” (24:31)

• Demar Hamlin:

  • “You can’t conquer the world in one day…put the right foot in front of your left foot.” (28:03)
  • “Go through the ugly phases. Don’t be afraid of it, embrace it.” (28:55)
  • “I’m always able to bring myself to appreciate at least one thing, no matter what it is…” (32:16)

• James Lawrence (Iron Cowboy):

  • “When you are broken and when you have reached your limit, you can do one more.” (48:02)

• Ed Mylett & James Lawrence (on synchronicity):

  • Ed: “James, the book I’m writing right now is called ‘One More.’” (49:02)
  • James: “You just stole the title of my next book. Ed, we’re in a fight.” (49:06)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 01:43 – Main theme: Distractions and the power of obsessive focus
• 07:54 – Suffering as the price of greatness, embracing sacrifice
• 13:04 – Scarcity vs. worth: the cost/benefit mindset shift
• 17:24 – Interview: Cody Sanchez on sacrifice, entrepreneurship, and ambition
• 27:05 – Interview: Demar Hamlin on resilience, comeback, and perspective
• 40:01 – Interview: James Lawrence on endurance, identity, and “one more”
• 49:36 – Ed's solo: The 7 steps to making your goals a reality via habits

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Takeaways for Listeners

• You are much more powerful than your current results reflect.
• Focus is your most precious resource; distractions are your biggest enemy.
• Obsessive immersion and clear, pre-negotiated sacrifice are the secret ingredients of top performers.
• Progress often feels like suffering; celebrate the discomfort.
• Your goals require corresponding habits; both must be specific and measured.
• Model successful behaviors, not just outcomes.
• Every comeback, every win, starts with the next small, focused step.
• When you think you’ve hit your wall, try “one more”—that’s where expansion begins.

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Closing

Ed encourages listeners to subscribe and revisit these frameworks, emphasizing that mastery is less about talent and more about obsession, clarity, commitment, and continual recalibration. If you feel stuck or are ready to start winning again, this episode is a manual for doing the hard things that build true, meaningful, self-driven success.

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Subscribe to The Ed Mylett Show for more high-impact conversations and actionable life strategies.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Companies to see if you could save some cash?

[A]

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[B]

Not available in all states. Hey guys, it's Ed. I rarely do this. As you know, 99.9 of my content is free. But once a year I do something where I gather a very small group of people in my house. I've done it for two years in a row now and I'm going to do it again this year. I'm going to do an experience in my home where I'm going to take you through how to make 2026 the best year of your life. All of the tactics and strategies that I use to plan and organize my own life in detail, same time, all of the mental rehearsal and visualization techniques that, you know, people pay me hundreds of millions of dollars a year to teach them. I just wanted to tell you this day is not something that I take very lightly. One thing you should know, full disclosure is once this is sold out, I'm not adding extra days. And so last year this sold out within about 24 hours. This year I'm keeping the groups to 12, maybe 15 people. And so if you're inclined to spend the day with me, I would encourage you to take action now because truly this will be sold out probably within 24 to 48 hours. Click the link below and you can get rolling to spend a day with me in my home. This is the Ed Mylett Show. Hey everyone, welcome to my weekend special.

[A]

I hope you enjoy the show.

[B]

Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett.

[A]

Show on Apple and Spotify.

[B]

Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way.

[A]

Welcome back to Max out everybody. Ed Mylett Today we're going to talk specifically about distractions and paying the price to win. Both sides of the coin. You know, one of the things that human beings underestimate dramatically is their capacity to get great at something if they're totally immersed in it, totally laser focused on something. But as I've coached the very high end athletes in my life, the top business people and entertainers, I can tell you that most people underestimate what total obsessive laser focused really is and what it looks like, because you are way more powerful than you know you are if you went crazy, psycho obsessed, laser focused on anything, even something you're totally ill prepared for. Humans have an unreal capacity to get great at things, even if they don't have a natural talent for it, if they're immersed in it. And to learn something and acquire a ton of knowledge in a short period.

[B]

Of time as well.

[A]

Because the truth of the matter is, in society today, society is conspiring all the time in our culture to completely distract you. So you never win, to just divert your focus and attention. Look over here. Look at this shiny thing. Look at this TV show. Look at this sports team. So we never get obsessed, we never get laser focused for an extended period of time. Men, so many of you obsessed with sports, you're fans of these teams. Did it really change your life when the Patriots won the Super Bowl? Like, if you're a Patriot fan on Saturday, they hadn't yet won. On Sunday night, they won. How different was your life?

[B]

Tom Brady's life was different.

[A]

Yours wasn't. You Laker fans or basketball fans, does it really matter? Like, if your team wins, does it really matter? I got news for you guys. You don't play for the team. You don't. I know you think you do. I know you wear their jerseys. I think it's one of the funniest things in life. And I don't mean this critically, please. I mean this as a brother, guys. But you running around wearing a jersey with an other grown man's name on the back of it, isn't that a little bit ridiculous? I mean, I really. Some of you ladies are nodding right now. My husband needs to hear this. Hey, dude, I don't mean this critically, but really, a grown ass man. You're wearing the name of another man on the back of your jersey every single day. Literally. Your name isn't Bryant or James or Trout or Brady, but you wear their name on the back of you. Isn't that a little bit odd? We won Sunday. No, we didn't win. They won. You got to go back to work on Monday. You don't play for that team. And it's time you wake up and start getting focused on your own life. I'm not saying don't watch the game, but being obsessed with it throughout the week.

[B]

Who's injured?

[A]

Who's hurt?

[B]

Are we going to win?

[A]

We aren't doing anything because you don't play for them. In fact, players trade teams so much, what you really are rooting for is like Laundry. You root for the team that has, like, this jersey that's your color, but the players change all the time, yet you keep rooting for these teams. What a catastrophic. And I mean this love, because I'm a sports fan. I love the Red Sox, the Patriots, I'm a New England area sports fan, but I don't really get real caught up in it. I go to enjoy the game once in a while and how great they are as athletes. But what a catastrophic waste of your own life to be worrying about what professional athletes do and pretending to be on their team. You're not on the team. You don't win or lose. They do.

[B]

Right?

[A]

They do. So wake up and get focused on.

[B]

Your own goals, your own.

[A]

I can hear all the women going, amen.

[B]

Tell him.

[A]

Preach. Right, ladies, in your cases, it might be your sports team. It might be the television star, it might be some author you love. It might be something like that for men or women. For women, some of you, it's sports as well. But the fact of the matter is, all of these things are a distraction from our own lives. You don't play for these teams. You're not on these shows, and you don't know these people. And whoever wins a Grammy or an Oscar doesn't change your life. You winning in your life is what changes it. What other things divert our focus? The things in life that don't matter. Our own negative thoughts, our own insecurities, our own weaknesses. These distract us. Failure distracts us. Gossiping of other people distracts us. Talking about other people, worrying about haters, getting caught up in things that don't matter in our life. Drugs and alcohol distract us. There's all these things. When you start to pile them into life, what's your distraction? Just be honest. Is it living vicariously through your children? Is it living through them and their soccer team and their little league and their grades? Are you distracted by living through your children? Are you distracted by espn? Are you distracted by movies, Netflix, video games, gossip haters? There's all these things competing to get you to not be focused. How about your insecurities? How about your fears? How about your worries or your problems? Are you using all of these? Do you kinda. Your relationship issues? Does it distract you from your big goals? Do you let these things? Do you almost willingly do it? Here's what I think. Most of us are willing participants in our own distraction. And we need to be willing participants in our own focus, in our own obsessions and getting ourselves back on plan. I'm not saying don't be a complete person. But I'm saying for you to complete your journey towards maxing out, for you to completely max out your life, you must eliminate all of these things that take you by the wayside. And so now the second part of the coin, if we're going to win, right, is the sacrifice. I want you to write this down. I need to embrace the suffering. You know, there's something powerful that once you just sort of embrace the fact that in order to achieve something big, you've got to get rid of these distractions. And then the other layer of it is you're probably going to have to have some suffering to get there or some sacrifice to get there. And so once you've embraced and decided that this suffering, this sacrifice you're making is an indicator of progress, it's an indicator of obsession. Suffering and sacrifice and hard work is an indication of progress towards our dreams. The lack of sacrifice, the lack of suffering in our lives, its removal, its non existence also equates to a non existence of a great life, non existence of a dream happening, a big one anyway. And so embrace the fact that you're going to have to sacrifice and suffer to some extent once you've embraced that it's going to happen. It's almost not that bad. It's kind of like those of you that are fit, we already know and you already know, even if you're not, you've sort of accepted that before you go to the gym and get there, you're going to have to suffer.

[B]

And we go anyway. It becomes a habit.

[A]

No one goes into a gym thinking, I'm not going to have to sacrifice or suffer. There'll be no discomfort or no pain. But millions of people go anyway, don't they?

[B]

To the gym.

[A]

On some level, they're suffering in the gym, whether it's breathing heavy or sweating or aches or pains or stress. You know, everything in the gym is a sacrifice. And to some extent you're suffering, going through some pain. You know it before you go, don't you?

[B]

Yet most of us go all the time.

[A]

Yet in life outside of that one area, most of us are worried about suffering. We're afraid of it. When we're suffering and sacrificing, we wonder whether it's worth it. We wonder whether we're supposed to. We wonder whether sacrifice or setback or suffering is a sign it's not our real dream. Don't we see at the gym, you never think, oh, I'm going through some pain and discomfort. This must be A sign I shouldn't be at the gym. You'd never think that. It goes with the territory. Everyone knows this. Build a bicep or a tricep or a chest or legs, you have to break it down, suffer and sacrifice for it to grow. So while it's happening, there's no part of you that says, this isn't right. In fact, the indication of the pain and sacrifice and sweat, don't you feel better at the gym? You're like, wow, I really sacrificed today. I really suffered. So in that area, we all know to the extent we suffer and sacrifice is to the extent we grow. And your body is a metaphor for the rest of your life. But the rest of our life, every time we sweat, every time we sacrifice, every time we suffer, we don't do what we do at the gym. We start saying, well, wait a minute, maybe I'm not supposed to be doing this. Maybe I'm not cut out. Maybe it's not my destiny. Maybe I just can't do it. It's the most unbelievable, ridiculous conclusion we draw. But it's what everybody does, which is another form of distraction is doubt. The coins flip on each other all the time, don't they? Another form of distraction is just doubt. And doubt comes from the suffer. It comes from a loss. It comes from fear. It comes from the sacrifice. And so just remember this, you're supposed to suffer and sacrifice. So let me ask you a question. What are you willing to risk in order to make your dream come true? Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You're going to take a risk. Maybe it's financial. Maybe it's a risk of time. Maybe it's a risk at your job. Maybe it's a risk of looking bad. Maybe it's a risk of failing, of falling on your face, of going broke, of going through pain, of going through anxiety. Maybe it's even a risk in a relationship that's just going to be difficult while you do this. What are you willing to risk in order to win? And you have to accept that, because remember what I'm going to tell you. The price you will pay for not making your dream come true, far greater than the one that you will pay to make it come true. Want me to say it again? The price you will pay, the suffering you will go through to make your dream come true is incredibly small, infinitely smaller than the price you will pay if you never do. You'll pay that one the rest of your life. And so ask yourself, what you're willing to risk. What's the price you're willing to pay. Because what most people do when they're trying to chase their dream or their big outcome, the whole time they're negotiating the price in their head, they're negotiating it. Should I continue to do it? Is it worth it? I don't know if I can continue anymore. It's getting higher. And that price is failure. That price is set back. That price is looking back. That price can be financial, literally a physical price. And what happens is if you don't negotiate that price in advance, it's going to steal your focus and energy and become another distraction. One of the great distractions of chasing our dreams is this thing that goes off in our head as we're negotiating the price we're paying. Should I keep paying it? Is it getting too high? Is it too much? And you'll have people in your ear. It's too big a sacrifice. You're going through too much and you begin to negotiate it in your mind. It distracts all your focus. You can't be executing and negotiating simultaneously. If you're in your head negotiating and negotiating and negotiating, you can't execute. So negotiate it now. Negotiate it with me now. What are you willing to pay for me when I'm after something big? As long as it's legal, ethical and moral, I'll sacrifice everything else. But I will not sacrifice anything legal, anything unethical or anything immoral. But beyond that, I'm going to get it. And I know that negotiation comes up front. I accept the suffering. I accept the sacrifice. I know the sacrifice is far smaller than the one I'll pay if I don't do it. And I eliminate distractions and I go freaking get what I want in my life, just like you can. And this needs to be your recipe as well. If you're one of these people who's still negotiating whether it's worth it, maybe you got someone in your head making you question it. That is a poverty and scarcity mentality. Let me prove it to you. When I didn't have money and I spent most of my life with none.

[B]

Just like you, what do we do when we go into a store? We don't go get what we want.

[A]

We go get what we think we can afford. And so I spent the majority of my life flipping price tags over. I didn't buy that shirt I wanted. I buy the one that I could afford. I bought things based on price, not worth. And so I'm sure you. I didn't buy the car I wanted. I bought the car I could afford. So When I was broke and I had scarcity, what do you do when you're in that position? You negotiate price. You flip price tags. What's it cost?

[B]

What's the cost?

[A]

What's the cost? What's the cost? Not what do you want? When I was poor, everywhere I went, flip the price tag. What's it cost? What's it cost? What's it cost? What's it cost? I was constantly negotiating the price for everything in my life. You do that when you come from a place of scarcity, of being poor. Successful people and wealthy people have a subtle distinction. They don't look at price, they look at worth. Is this worth it? If you're constantly looking at the price tag, you'll eventually relent, you'll eventually give in. Stop negotiating the price. It's a freeing experience to totally commit. When you totally commit to a relationship, to a business, to your fitness, to your faith, it's a freeing, powerful. It's almost like removing kryptonite from your life. When you totally commit, can you do that? The people around you always talk, it's costing too much, it's costing too much. And you go, maybe it's costing too much. You guys are going, no, it's worth it. It's not the price, it's the worth. It's a subtle distinction in your life. That same scarcity mentality we do in going after our dreams. We want to acquire our dream. You can't be in price tag mode. What's it cost? What's the cost? What's the cost? You never get what you want. Decide in advance what it's going to cost, then decide. Here's the subtle distinction. Successful people don't negotiate the cost of something. They negotiate whether it's worth it.

[B]

That's subtle.

[A]

It's very subtle. If you're a person who's always thinking about what it's costing you in the sacrifice towards your dream, you're always going to be negotiating it. But if you can decide in advance that the cost is worth it, the negotiation stops and you go, execute. What I'm telling you is if you really want something bad enough, it's worth it.

[B]

It's worth it.

[A]

So start to feed yourself the worth question over and over and over again. Not the cost question. Cost is a distraction. Worth is a focus mechanism. This is so worth it. It's so worth it. It's so worth it focuses you. Cost distracts you. What I want to remind you of is on the other side of that suffering, on the other side of that sacrifice on the other side of that laser focus is your dream. It's one of the greatest places you'll ever be in your life. And here's what I know, by the way. The times where you've been the most laser focused in your life. Listen to me on this. You've been the most happy. The times you've been the most distracted, you've been the most unhappy. Ladies, if you're listening to this, you think about the times where maybe when you were pregnant, for example, if you've been pregnant before and the amount of focus that went in on that beautiful baby, you were going to have the preparation for it. I mean, you're carrying that child right next to you.

[B]

You can't get more focus on something.

[A]

Than something you're carrying, right? And I'll guarantee you during labor, you.

[B]

Weren'T thinking about your. You were thinking about your electric bill.

[A]

Or some email you had to return.

[B]

You were damn focused in that moment. And I'll bet that baby made you almost happier than you ever been in your life.

[A]

For some of you, that when you were cramming for finals in your life, right? That, that first time you were cramming and it was so laser focus on something and you were happy. You know, the truth is, that was a happy time in your life. For some of you that have built some businesses or maybe when you were in your courtship, dating who you're now married to, you were so focused, weren't.

[B]

You, during that time with that person.

[A]

Some of the happiest times of your life. The most focused times in our life, the less distracted times in our life also equals the happiest times in our life. So if you really want true bliss, you want true fulfillment, it comes from eliminating the distractions and becoming obsessed. There are healthy obsessions in life. And the more obsessed we are about healthy things, the happier we are. Whether we're obsessed with the happy times of carrying that baby and having that baby, the happy times of achieving a degree we've had in life, the obsession we've had when we were dating somebody.

[B]

And we were so in love with them.

[A]

These times when we're in the healthiest of our obsessions is when we're the happiest. So I want to challenge you today to make that shift of eliminating these distractions and elevating your level of focus.

[B]

Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes now, on to our next guest. Welcome back to the show, everybody. So this lady that's on today, I actually sought her out after seeing her content. I think she makes some of the best content on all social media as it comes to business. She got a background at Goldman. She's been in the VC business before. She's done all kinds of different things in business, and I love watching people online that I know have actually done the things that they talk about, and she's done that. So from Wall street to Main street to your living room today, I'm super happy to have her here today. She's the co founder of Contrarian, thinking she's brilliant. You're going to take a ton of notes. Cody Sanchez, welcome to the show.

[C]

I'm excited to be here. I've been a fan of yours for years, Ed. I think it's really cool what you do online.

[B]

Thank you. Well, likewise. All right. You talk a lot about setting goals are okay, but you want people to set what instead.

[C]

Sacrifices. Tell me, don't tell me what you want. Tell me what you're willing to do to get it. And that's something I hold myself to as well. Just, I don't write goal lists. I literally, my husband and I, we do it quarterly and annually is the big one where we basically sit down and we say, here's all the things we want. What are all the things we're going to have to give up to get it? And so, you know, this quarter, we had a. We had one business with a lot of issues in it. And so we had a big plan that every year we go to Bonnaroo, which is where we met and where I got engaged. And I was like, this year I'm like, babe, nope, we're not doing it now. Could I go to buy? Of course. Can I afford it? Can I have the time? And I said, no, we're sacrificing this. Because I do think that the universe, like, signals. And when you say, I'm serious, I'm going to fix this. And I am focused on it as opposed to, you know, a beautiful set of distractions. Things change.

[B]

Also distractions. By the way, I'm the same way. I. One thing about entrepreneurs that does surprise me, and I don't mean to sound joyless in doing it. I'm amazed by how many vacations they take compared to the ones that I know. Yeah. In other words, the ones that I know that you and I both know mutually. I vacation, but it's hard to get me to do it. And I feel like I just don't like leaving for too long because I lose momentum. I certainly haven't taken a lot of long vacations in my life. I like two or three type day ones just because I just that the distance in the, in the momentum or whatever it is. And maybe you go, well, that's because you haven't hired great people around you potentially. That's true. But I'm amazed by the long breaks I see so many successful entrepreneurs take. And I'm like, I don't know, know many personally that are that successful that are on vacation every other month now. I know a lot of people listen to go, that's because you haven't figured it out, man. You gotta have systems, you gotta have people in place. I got systems. I got people in place. I'm also a business owner and I know what that's like. I'm just curious. And by the way, completely feel free to disagree with me on that if you disagree. But what are your thoughts on that?

[C]

I think it's, you know, everything is about what you want out of life. And a lot of people are okay with. Not that a lot of people are okay. A lot of people are thrilled with hanging out at every softball game with the kids like my dad did, which is incredible in Around Family and, and not being a billionaire, like, totally agree with that. Which is beautiful. I'm on board for it. I am a psychopath that wants to be a multi, multi billionaire. Why? I'm not really sure. I think it's fun right now. Maybe at some point I'll change that. And it's not really for ego. I don't really buy anything fancy. I'm not like, I have a nice watch. I kind of like clothes, but I just like the game. I like the game. And so I think for those people, how I see them is like, okay, you're just, you're at this level, like you want to stay a level four. That's awesome. But now I know you're a level four entrepreneur.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I don't partner with level four entrepreneurs. I help level four entrepreneurs. I support you. I, I, you know, I hope you find joy and help in the things that we do. But I don't partner with you. And every time I've broken that rule and haven't dug deep enough, it's where I stop and I've gotten into a bad partnership.

[B]

Yeah. You know, I want to make sure that my audience knows. I completely agree with that, by the way. And I, and I, I've changed as I've gotten older. I'm probably less that intense person in the sense that I am now more appreciative of the time. And I have such admiration for people who. Whatever it is you want in your life, you get that?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

To me, a happy life is show me your kind of your blueprint for your life. And if you're living it, you're successful, whatever that is. And as I've gotten older, my blueprint has changed. Where I want more time, I want more of those other things.

[C]

So I think your audience knows that.

[B]

I hope so. I want to make sure that clear on that. Having said that, a lot of you that are early stage entrepreneurs, which is what I meant earlier, taking off as the trying to get the plane off the ground is you.

[A]

You know, it takes a lot of.

[B]

Force to get it in the air. Once it's in the air, it's much easier to be at a cruising altitude to some extent. But I just see so many that I think they think it's at cruising altitude and it's still in the liftoff phase, I guess is the best way to say it. It's like, man, you're letting off the accelerator an awful lot in the takeoff phase. Whereas you got to be careful because that's what you see on social media. It looks like everyone's in Barbados, everyone's in Con, you know, everyone's in St. Barts. That's not where I was when this thing was in the liftoff phase. And the truth is I'm not even there now most of the time. One little hack, because you're here today for those you like. Yeah, but I want to have a great life. I would say to you, and I know this is a contrary to what they say online, but like at some point have a home that feels like you're on vacation when you're an entrepreneur. So that like where my homes are, I feel like I'm living on vacation so that I don't have to go somewhere the time. So I kind of like live on vacation and yet work on that vacation all the time. That's sort of the medium place for those of you that want to live a dream.

[C]

Anyway, it's brilliant because we do the same thing. We'll go for, you know, we have a place in another state and we go and stay there for like two or three months. But I got everything set up.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

No different from my office and my other place. And I think that's really, really powerful.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And so there's a power of place there's a power of routine. And I think as often as you can stay inside of that as your higher likelihood to succeed. But I also think it's. I mean, people don't really need more people telling them that you are okay, you're perfect the way you are, you don't need to change anything. You can go slower. There's enough of that online. Yeah. I think, like, go on Instagram and have people tell you that working's bad, capitalism's awful, money's bad, and you don't need to work that hard to achieve what you want. And universal basic income is around the corner. I think there's plenty of that. I think actually more people need, hey, it sucks, it's worth it, it's not going to be easy. But then after you have achieved what you wanted out of life, other people can't assert their will as easily on you.

[B]

That's a fact. It's interesting. I've had this philosophical discussion because I wasn't. I was at most games, but I wasn't the dad who coached the teams. And there was a part of me as I was coming up and even in line when I wish I had done that. Ironically, I'm now at this age now where the guys who coach the teams, they are grateful they did it, but there's a part of them that's like, now I'm 55 and I'm scared because I'm not financially equipped. I am at risk. I can't care for my parents like they need right now and my family. And so you have to be careful with those choices that you make all the time. And it is great to applaud the person who's there all the time. And that's a great life. Every sacrifice has a choice. To go back to the sacrifice thing, don't you think it's important, what you said? I want to just build off of it and have you elaborate on it. I think you need to decide that sacrifice thing and advance. I think what most entrepreneurs do, or just humans, they don't negotiate the price tag in advance. And then while they're going through the effort of doing it, they're expanding, expending all this energy on the internal negotiation. Is it worth it? Oh, my gosh, it's costing me this. I didn't know it was going to be that. I think there's brilliance in what you said about on the front end, deciding as a family, as a couple, or as an individual, this is the price I'm willing to pay so that you don't spend all this mental gymnastics negotiating it constantly.

[C]

It's actually, I love that line, you should negotiate the price tag of your sacrifice ahead of time. Brilliant. I learned this from my husband in a lot of ways. He is former military, ex Navy Seal, and so watching him is really interesting because he's so regimented on so many things, because he understands that the most important thing you do as a Navy SEAL is not shoot or, you know, fight people. It's you make decisions. Your most important weapon is your brain and your ability for that to not fatigue. And so decision fatigue is the biggest enemy in warfare. It's. I have to make so many rapid decisions that I need to have a lot of capacity for the important ones and the understanding of when is it important and when is it not. And so what does he do? He just doesn't negotiate normalcy. So every single day, he gets up, eats the same thing. He does his workout the same way every single day. Workouts are a habit. They are not an option. And he, as many times as possible, he makes the normal things habitual. And then he gets to have lots of fun and spontaneity around it, but he doesn't allow for decision fatigue. And so I've learned a lot from him on that.

[B]

That was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Here's an excerpt I did with our next guest. All right, welcome back to the show, everybody. So the man that we're going to talk with today is very important man to me. There are not five people on planet Earth that I would rather speak to today than this young man. And my dream list for people that would be on this podcast, he is at the very, very top of the list because he's a story of resiliency, faith, strength, comeback. And you all know his story. On January 2, 2023, with about 5 minutes and 58 seconds left in the game against the Cincinnati Bengals, my dear friend here tackled wide receiver. T. Higgins, was running with the ball. He hit Damar in the chest with his helmet, and demar made the tackle as he always does. And he got up after that tackle, stood up for a second, and then collapsed on the field. And in that moment, our country was captivated. And literally hundreds of millions of people were in prayer for this precious young man. I don't know that I've ever said this and meant it more. I am so grateful that you are here today, and welcome to the Show. Demar Hamlin. Good to have you here, brother man.

[D]

Thanks for having me. I appreciate, you know, the intro. You've talked to, you know, some of the. The biggest and the best across the world, you know, so to be in that, you know, top five that you want to talk to, it's. It's, you know, it's honor. So I'm glad to be here.

[B]

Glad to believe somebody who's going through. They're on the bottom right now. Right now in their life. They're like, man, I'm. I'm. I'm down right now. You know, I just. Nothing's working out. You know, I. My business just failed, or I just broke up with my relationship, or, man, just nothing I've done has been clicking for years. I don't feel good about myself. I'm down. And this may sound like an interesting metaphor, but they need sort of a life version of CPR to get back up again. They need some life breathed back into them, literally. What would you say to somebody who's just down right now and wants to make a comeback? What would you say to that person who's struggling with that right now?

[D]

First thing I would say is, man, you can't. You can't conquer the world in one day. So, you know, just take yourself out of that big perspective and see how you can take one step and put the right foot in front of your left foot. You know, Something I've heard a while is you can't sit in the pool of pity, you know, so even when you feel that feeling of, you know, you want to harp on your. Your situation or your circumstances too much, get up and move. Like, literally, I mean, get up and move, you know, so you can get yourself out of the feeling before you get sunk too deep into it. That's the first way I would say, just, you know, to deal with the emotions that come off of your situation, don't allow yourself to sit in it. Get up and move. And don't think you can. Just know that you can't conquer the world in one day. So wherever it is you want to be, you know, you got to take it step by step, one day at a time, you know, I knew that I had to take it step by step, one day at a time. I couldn't worry about, you know, trying to suit up and play in the playoffs again, or I would have drove myself crazy. Literally, I would. Drove myself insane. I had to know that it's going to be a journey. And even through this season that I just went through I, you know, people deal with ACLs and don't come back in the time period that I did or any other injuries that don't come back in the time period that I did. So I know it's going to be a journey. Even when some people return off the ACLs, they're not, they're not their same selves that first season out their back. They need time, they need steps, they got to put the right foot in front of the left and they got to walk the journey. They got to go through the ugly phases. You know, I feel like I just went through an ugly phase this whole season, you know what I mean? But I'm super proud of myself, you know, so go through the ugly phases. Don't be afraid of it, embrace it. That's the big, that's the biggest part of it all. Focus on taking one foot in front of the right. Go through the ugly phases and just continue to try to get better one day at a time, one step at a time. And write down what you feel is necessary to accomplish what you want to get done and then follow it. Make no negotiations with yourself whenever you set the plan out. Like, if you say you're going to do certain things at certain times or with certain people, make sure you do them, you know what I mean? Hold yourself to a different standard and accountability so that you can get out of your situation. You know, you can't get out of a situation doing the same things that put you into the situation. So, you know, that's, that's like insanity, doing the same things and expecting different results, you know, and I'm kind of, I'm kind of, you know, preaching that message to, you know, a lot of my personal friends in my life, you know, who are. No, they complain about certain things or they bring certain things to my attention and then, you know, they keep doing the same things. You know, I'm at the point where it's like, you know, if you're gonna keep dealing with the same certain type of things, don't even tell me because, like, don't, don't sit up here and just waste all my time when you okay with accepting the same things that got you where you are. If you want to get yourself to a different situation, you gotta do different things to get different results. Yeah, that's my tell you perspective on it.

[B]

That's so good. I, brother, I'm just sitting here going, you got to be kidding me. This is so good.

[A]

You know what you are?

[B]

You're a great perspective giver. Just who you are. I got to tell you, today was a particularly not great morning for me. And I was talking to my daughter, and I said, she goes, how you doing today, Daddy? I said, I'm. I'm not having a great morning, Bella. I'm not having a good day. And then we hung up, and I was kind of just re. I've been so excited about this interview for so long. It's kind of like repairing a little bit. And then I literally said to myself, I just. Everybody hear this for whatever you're going through. I said, really? You're not having a great day compared to what the day Demar had on January 2, 2023. In that moment, that's a bad day compared to me. I'm at a couple meetings, not go the right way, right? And this man was in front of millions of people, literally fighting for his life. Does. Does it give you a perspective, brother? Like, when you're having what was used to be a bad day, you're like, well, not compared to, like. Compared to what, right? Do you ever have that thought? Does it give you perspective on that, man?

[D]

Every day.

[B]

Every day.

[D]

To be honest, you know, there's no day where I can, you know, allow myself to get too low anymore because, you know, I have the appreciation of life, you know? So no matter what's going on in life, just to still be here is a blessing because we all know some people who. Who are not, and we all wish that we could have some people still with us. So no matter my situation, I'm able to allow myself to appreciate something. You know, it's hard to appreciate everything, you know, especially when, you know, for the people that are listening, especially when, you know, you're going through situations where your emotions are rising and, you know, you. You're feeling whatever you're feeling the most. But I'm always able to. To bring myself to appreciate at least one thing, no matter what it is, no matter if it's the ability to still play football, because that could have been taken away from me. No matter if it's, you know, just appreciating family. My little brother, my mom, my dad, you know, no matter if it's just, you know, appreciating a deep breath, man, or appreciating wherever I am in the world, you know, if I'm in California, if I'm in At home, if I'm anywhere in the world, you know, I always bring myself to find at least one thing that I can appreciate. And it shapes your perspective differently. It really does.

[B]

Wow, brother. I Love you. I'm two things. I got one last question. One, I'm grateful for you as well.

[D]

I thank you for this. This was therapy.

[B]

Good. Well, me too, and millions of people. The second thing is I just. As a brother, I'm proud. I'm. Shoot, I'm getting. I'm just very proud of you. Very proud of you. You're. You're remarkable. All right, a football question because it'll be pissed if I don't ask. So are you free agent?

[D]

No.

[B]

Okay, so you're under contract.

[D]

Buffalo Bills. I'm a Buffalo Bill.

[B]

Okay, because, because I read something today, Bill's mafia. I read something today, you know, I'm gonna ask you about. They were like, hey, I wouldn't mind ending my career playing for the Steelers, right? Is that an accurate quote? Like I just make you awkward. I asked you, I didn't push you too hard on what happened on the field. So I gotta like is I. People want to know what's gonna happen with this young man. So we know you're, you're a Bill, but is there a little party that eventually would love to finish up with the Steelers or you want to be a Bill for life?

[D]

I want to be a Bill for life. You know, that's the team that truly took a chance on me and gave me opportunity, you know, to show what I can do. You know, I'm a late round draft pick throughout the whole entire draft, you know, I watch my name sit as the first name to best taken, you know, for like two, three rounds, you know, and I'm just like, will I ever get my opportunity? You know, I knew I had what it takes, you know, but you know, opportunity, like preparation doesn't always meet opportunity. I was prepared, but I didn't know if the opportunity was to going income. So you know, the Bills, when they selected me, you know, I was, I was, I felt so blessed, you know, and I didn't know anything about Buffalo, I didn't know anything about Bill's mafia at the time. But you know, it didn't take long for me to, for them to show me who exactly who they were. And you know, for me personally, and then doing my research as well, just seeing how they treated their players, how they treat other players on other teams, you know, like donated $80,000 to other people's team, like to other teams foundations, like it was, it was just unbelievable of like the support that Bill's mafia has for the players of the Buffalo Bills. So first and foremost, I want to clear all ear. I want to be a Buffalo Bill for life. Because that's the team that took a chance on me when I answered that question, you know, I answered it from the perspective of, you know, a childhood perspective, you know, a kid that, you know, grew up his entire life. Like I told you, man, I had the dream for a long time. I had the dream for a long time, you know, just making it to the NFL and just being able to have an opportunity to, you know, take care of my family and give back to my community. Something that I didn't have as a kid growing up, you know, so that was always my driving force. But, you know, as a kid, you know, like playing the game, I always created myself as a Steeler and I always, you know, played the game like that just as a kid. So the question they asked me, I answered it from a childhood perspective. And then I also answered it from the perspective of, no, I don't want to play for the Steelers right now because I'm a Buffalo Bill. You know what I mean? Like, I'm still under contract with the Buffalo Bills. And then on top of that, and then on top of that, you know, I spent five years at the University of Pittsburgh and I shared the facility with the Steelers. That's how I built a close relationship, you know, with them. And then, so that's college, five years, and then four years of high school where we had championship games at, you know, the stadium. So, you know, I've had my fair share of time there. How I answered the question was it would more so be a dream to finish career than to be playing now. You know, and I'm. And I say that I said that lightly because, you know, you see players all the time who have a career. They'll have like a 8, 10 year career with this team, and then they'll go play for this team for X amount of time. And then when they finally retire, they'll go sign that $1 contract with the team that they felt most connected to and then retire with that team.

[B]

Right.

[D]

You know, so, you know, it was, it was a lightly answered question that kind of like super stirred up social media. But to be honest, you know, even through all the chaos of it that it caused, I'm just super excited to finally see people excited to see me play football again.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

You know what I mean? That was a great feeling that above all else, you know, above all the chaos it might have caused, that was just a great feeling, you know what I mean? I dealt with so much, you know, controversy and, you know, like just craziness all year long. Just, it just if, if I needed to, if I needed to be playing, if I was just all of a sudden just this trash player, if I just was never good at football and I'm only famous for one thing and this and that, you know, So I went through a whole year of that, you know, and, you know, just chirping, you know, I don't allow none of that to enter my inner matrix. But, you know, it was super exciting to see people, you know, excited to see me play football again. So, like, no, it turned me up a little bit, man. It made harder in the gym. It made me go harder in the gym those days because, you know, I'm excited for them to see what I got in the tank too.

[B]

Before we start the interview with my next guest, just want to remind you all that you can subscribe to the show on YouTube or follow the show on Apple or Spotify. We have all the links in our show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Now on with the show. Welcome back to the show, everybody. Hey, have you ever thought about like running a marathon? Because I've thought about it. I'm like, there's an Ironman in Coeur d' Alene where I spent my summers. Just the marathon part of it. I was like, that's bananas. 26 miles, you know, anybody ever thought about doing that? Or you ever watch one of these Ironmans and go, I'll do that someday. And by the way, it's like about a two and a half mile swim, 112 miles on a bike, 26 mile run. That's kind of what an iron length triathlon is. What you imagine doing one of those. Then I want you to imagine getting up the next day and doing it again. Can you imagine back to back days?

[A]

Then I want you to contemplate thinking about doing it 30 freaking days in a row. You got that?

[B]

How about 50 days in a row? How about 100 days in a row? Get your mind around that.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

That would be one of the great all time athletic endurance feats in the.

[A]

History of the world.

[B]

And simultaneously one of the great mental toughness and resiliency feats of all time. Guess what? I got the dude here today who did it a hundred in a row in 100 days. His name is Iron Cowboy James Lawrence. Welcome to the program, brother. Share with us what it's like to finish, to achieve it. So you've had a few of these. You know, we're all sitting out here like, I got my dream too. Man, mine isn't 100 conquer 100. You know, it's not that my dream is X or Y. What's it feel like?

[C]

Whoo.

[B]

I did it. What's that feeling like? If you can even begin to describe it.

[E]

Yeah, this is. This could be an entire podcast to unpack. Because coming off the 50, I got heavily warned. They said, look, you're going to fall into depression. You're going to have confusion, brain fog. You're not going to know what's up. And I didn't experience that on the 50. And so when I was coming off of the hundred, I was like, it's not going to happen. I've got this. I'm a man. I'm invincible. I just did sports history. I'm good. And you saw the emotion of crossing the finish line of the hundred, and that was raw and that was real. And what I didn't expect was the depression, the confusion, the brain fog. I don't know when it happened, but at some point in the time I transitioned into a protective state to where I was in such trauma and turmoil that my brain was protecting me and it was not allowing me to feel. And I believe I was. And it was probably around 85 that now looking back on, it was in the ultimate of flow state. And that's when it was. Somebody said, the documentary asked me a question. I was on the table, and they said, how many could you do? And I said, 200. Like, I didn't even hesitate. I was like, 200. I was in such a state of, like, power and flow. And then I came out of it, and I had this, like, my brain and our brains are so powerful, Ed, that it was masking and every emotion that was real and that I was feeling. And. And it's. It's hard to explain, but I was in an ultimate protective state from trauma. And I now have a lot of empathy for people that are going through something intense that they aren't themselves because they're trying to protect themselves from the feelings or the emotions or the trauma of what they're going through. And I would have never said I was in that state until I had an opportunity to come out of it. And it's been really hard. I've been walking around the house. I'm supposed to be recovering. I don't know what to do. That was who I. Who I was, and that's who I. That was my identity and everything. And now that gets stripped away, and then you start questioning, well, who am I?

[B]

Is that.

[E]

Is that my only value? Is that my only worth? And then now you start to have this, like, real conversation with yourself. Okay, now where. What is my place? And you start to go this through this transitional conversation with yourself. And I think there's three phases to any big journey. It's preparation, it's execution, and then it's post and recovery to whatever that looks like. And I think we have to respect all three levels of that type of journey. And the recovery portion of it could be the most important because it's when you unpack the lessons and you try to internalize the experience so that you can evolve again and be a better person to have influence that you want to have to help other people have that same type of experience in their lives on a positive level. And so I'm, again, I'm grateful for the struggle. I'm grateful for the lessons that I can learn so that I can develop empathy for others that are in that situation. And so like we talked about, I'm. I'm grateful for rock bottom. I'm grateful for the struggle. I'm grateful for the opportunity to learn those lessons so that I can be a better father and person.

[B]

I'm grateful for you today. And hopefully it will dawn on you when we finish this that one of the places you belong is doing what we just did here today. Because literally millions of people's lives are affected by this, especially on the audio side, millions of people. And there were no wasted words today. And only you are qualified to deliver these because of what you've gone through, because of what you've achieved. Only you, no one else could do what you did today because someone else has not gone down, literally the road that you've gone down. It makes me emotional to say. And so it'll begin to reveal itself to you, brother, as you move forward. You're in that repair and recover stage. One of the realest answers of all time. I've had the same sense a lot of athletes, a lot of business people have had. Those things happen. Oftentimes. Mothers have it when they have the dream of giving childbirth. Some of that is obviously chemical, but it is a thing that sometimes when this is. This journey ends, our identity changes. The chemistry in our body isn't just right and there's just what's next? Is there a next? What's my value? All those things you said, I can just tell you that for everyone that listened or watched us today, they would all come back and you put their arms around your hug. You go, brother, you just did it. You just spent an hour Doing it. And I could see the emotion on your face now. And so little did you know. It's the ripple effect. You know, only you are capable of delivering the words and the messages and the insights you have because only you have gone down that road. So I'm grateful for you and wow. Like just a wow. So thank you. And I'm here to help you. By the way, you know that we've got each other's numbers. Anything I can do in this transitional phase for you?

[E]

Can I wrap up with one thought?

[B]

100%, yes.

[E]

Okay. So I don't know if you tuned out after day 100. Do you know what we did the next day?

[B]

No, I don't.

[E]

So we did 101.

[B]

Did you really? Did you really?

[E]

Yeah. So we went live every day during the swim. And. And I. I think this is important because of who you are and, you know, your tagline of max out.

[D]

And.

[E]

And we turned on the live the following day when I would have normally been swimming every single day. And it was. And me in the pool by myself doing one more. And I got asked the question a lot, why did you do one more? And I had a lot of people understand. And then I had a lot of people just. They were confused. And I hate the. Because the way I feed my family is I get on stage and we tell our story, we motivate, and we do coaching and whatnot. And I love talking from stage and impacting people. And I don't appreciate the speakers that are out there telling, trying to teach a lesson when they haven't done it, they haven't been on the battlefield in the battle. And I felt like I would be a hypocrite if I told people that you can get up and you can do one more. And it. The campaign day 100 was on a Tuesday and Sunday night. I said, I just got the most intense impression. James, you need to do one more. And. And I was like, are you freaking kidding me? Like, I am broken. Like, I am mentally exhausted. I've been showing up for a quarter of a year. Why would I do one more? And I got the impression it's not for you. And I felt like our team needed to show up and do one more. Because on your journey, when you're broken and when you are at your limit, I promise you, you can get up and you can do one more. And that one more might be by yourself. And I don't know how many times you're going to have to get up and do one more by yourself. But I promise you, you can get up one more. And I didn't feel like I could bring integrity to our story if I didn't go out. And as a team, we did one more. And so we did 101. Because I want to lead from the front and I want to show people when you are broken and when you have reached your limit, you can do one more.

[B]

James, the book I'm writing right now is called One More.

[E]

You just stole the title of my next book. Ed, we're in a fight.

[B]

I'm going to be out before you, and I'm adding your story to the book because I have the rights to this podcast. But I'm not exaggerating. I'm almost done. And I told you that you went on this journey. You did this. I know you did for my audience, but you just did it for me. And so I'm sure the books will be very different in content. But, yeah, my book is the Power of One More, and it'll be out in the fall.

[E]

I am so excited for that book.

[B]

I'm just blown away that you just said that. That may be the craziest thing that's ever been done on the show, and it was at the end. I hope everyone's still listening because that's a. That's a wow. Thank God you added that to an unbelievable conversation. So thank you. That was a great conversation. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Welcome back to the show, everybody. So I'm excited for today because I'm going to cover a topic a lot of you have asked us to cover on the show. Basically we're going to go through today is how your habits deliver on your goals. So essentially, it's got a little bit to do with goal setting, but delivered by the habits that we create. I'm going to give you seven steps to making your goals a reality by delivering with them on habits that serve you. And that is one of the things that you've got to evaluate first before we get into the seven steps, is it's great to have goals and outcomes in our life, but if we don't develop habits that serve us and we don't have the ability to create new habits, we're probably going to produce the same exact results over and over again. You know, about 90% of our choices and thoughts every day are identical. And so that's why, as a consequence, we produce the same external results in life. It's much more important to be focused on what's going on inside of us as opposed to what's going on outside of us. Because everything, once it leaves us, is outside of our control. We can control the things that are inside of us, which are our habits. And the reason habits matter so deeply. I like James Clear's work on this and other people's, including mine. In my book the Power of One More. I have a whole chapter in there of how to develop healthy habits that serve you. But one of the reasons habits matter is not just our day to day life, but under pressure, in life, under stress, we always respond reflexively. And so it's our reflex to respond habitually. So there's a lot of autopilot in life. That's true. It's why sometimes you can be driving and not even be thinking and just. You kind of just pull right off the freeway, go to your house, take the left, take the right. You remember how you got home sometimes because you're on autopilot, you're on habit mode. But under stress and pressure, we respond to these habits that are ours. And so how do we develop these new habits that serve us as opposed to the ones that don't? You show me your habits and I'm probably going to show you your life. I'm going to show you the difference that separates people is what they do habitually. And so we're going to talk about how to shift that a little bit. So one thing a habit has to have to exist is conditioning. Meaning you've got to be able to do it over and over and over again so that it can replace something that was there before. And so for me, when I look at an athlete, for example, that's very, very successful. If I deduce what their habits are and I develop the same habits, I've got a higher likelihood of producing the same results as that athlete if I behave in a certain way. In other words, there's a consequence for choices in behavior, and we choose the right behavior over and over again. Success is really not that difficult. It's a collection of habits. And so if you wonder whether or not you know, you can be successful or achieve your goals, that's really not the question. The question is whether you'll invest the time to get serious about changing the habits that would deliver on those goals. Goals without an attached habit are really useless, right? But actually having great habits with no goal is also useless. You just be going through the motions without producing a result. And so let's talk a little Bit about the goal part for seven things that I want to cover today as it relates to goals and habits. Number one thing, with your goals, write this down. Specificity. You've got to get more specific with what exactly it is that you want. Imagine if you were going to invest in a company and they put their annual report out and they go, yeah, we want to be profitable or we made some money. Would you invest in that company? You would want to know specifically exactly what was the top line revenue, what was the bottom line revenue, what are your expenses, what's your forecast? Specifically that you believe the dollar amount you're going to hit the street. You would never invest in a company that did not give you specific markers for what they've done and could not tell you specifically what they want to get done and what their goals and outcomes are. Yet most human beings are wandering generalities about they want, I want to be more fit, I want to be happy, I want to be wealthy, I want to make a lot of money. What does that mean? You wouldn't invest in a company that didn't have those types of specifics. Yet every single day we're walking around wondering whether success will invest in us. Success is not going to invest in you if you're general, by the way. Your mind cannot go to work. Your brain cannot go to work on processing a non specific general result. It doesn't know how to do it. It's got to be specific. I want 10 of those. I want to weigh 125 or 186. I want 12% body fat or whatever it might be. I want a hundred thousand dollars in income. I'm gonna have five meetings. These are specific things. Then you can build a habit backwards from them. I'm talking about even the people that I coach that you know, pay me a significant amount of money. When we first encounter, I was working with a, a brand new person just the other day and he said, I just want a win, I just want to win. And I said, okay, what's that win look like? And he goes, I want FU money. I said, okay, cool, I love that. I love your passion for it. What's FU money? He didn't have an answer. And that's why he doesn't have FU money, right? He doesn't have it. And the reason he doesn't have it is he has never gotten specific about what that looks like. And there's a power to getting specific, right? When you begin to get specific, your brain wants to develop habits to deliver on that outcome. If you Repeat it over and over again. Why? Because your brain is constantly trying to conserve energy. It's always trying to create a habit so that it doesn't have to think, so that under pressure it'll just be reflexive. Okay? So your brain wants to form a habit to serve your specific outcome. But when that outcome is non specific and general, it'll always revert back on producing the nothingness that that goal is delivered by the habits you already have. So specificity is critical. So what I'm saying to you is when you review your goals, whether that be for the year, the month or the day, I want to have a good day. What does that mean? Clearly, the more clear, the more specific you are, the higher probability is that you'll deliver on it and that you will begin to create the habits that support it it and reinforce it on a regular basis. Because remember, habits need conditioning. You developed this habit you have because you conditioned it over and over again. And the only way that it's going to get replaced with a better one is by conditioning it over and over again. And the only way you're going to condition it is if it's specific. If it's specific, okay, so please, today I want to have a, I want to make 10 contacts, then it's 10. Or if I'm going to sit on, I'm making it up. You're going to do curls in the gym, right? I want to do 10 curls at 30 pound dumbbells, whatever they might be specific. And we're going to talk about this later. Measurable and tangible, okay? And so whatever that is, you got to have an exact amount you want so that we can produce an exact habit. Then the reticular activating system in your brain knows how important this is to you and will begin to find the resources, the people, places and the things that have always been around you but that you've been oblivious to before to deliver on it. In the Power of One more, my book, I talk about the matrix. I call the reticular activating system the RAS in your brain as the matrix because it's sort of what reveals to you what's important. It can actually slow things down when you're an athlete or create the habits that you need to deliver on it. So this part of our brain's really critically important to program it. It can't program on a non specific general thing. And I'm going to tell you, 99 of people, even the people who you know are one on one coached by me, aren't specific. And it's the major part of my work with them. Even athletes go, I want to win the fight. Specifically how, Specifically when? Want to have a good game tonight. Specifically what does that mean? Three for four, two hits. You want to shoot 68. Like exactly what does it look like? So that we can build the habits to back that up. And it might not even be that they want to score a number. It might be that I want to hit ten crisp golf shots, putts right on the button. Ten of them today. Right. Great. Or I want to only have 25 putts. Great. These are specific things that we begin to adjust. You'd be amazed at how much your brain wants to reserve energy. It doesn't want to think. It wants to build a habit so it doesn't have to think anymore and expend energy on it. So that's the good news. So specificity number two, what's the catalyst step? Just write down catalyst step. See, I think that everything. James Clear has this thing where he talks about, you know, the two minute rule, the two minute idea where if you could just get something done for two minutes, it's the beginning of a habit that can give you the catalyst of success. I call mine a catalyst step, meaning if you can just do one thing, oftentimes there's one move that if you make it, it can handle seven other things. So ask yourself, what's the catalyst step I could take today? So, like, there's this notion when you go to the gym, some people say showing up is half the battle. No, it's not. It's not. It's not half the battle. However, it is part of the battle. And so it can be considered a catalyst step. Just getting to the gym, that's not half the battle. It's not even 20% of the battle, but it is part of the battle. So perhaps a catalyst step is getting to the gym. Maybe a catalyst step is, you know, in your business life that you're going to, you know, pick the phone up five times in a given day or type seven emails. But it's some catalyst. You do something that's a catalyst to create change. John Maxwell talks in his book about the law of the catalyst. That is a person in an organization, they're a catalyst for change. So ask yourself, have you got a specific goal of I want to make a hundred thousand dollars this year, or I want to weigh 180 pounds, or whatever it might be. Ask yourself the next question, am I specific enough? And what's the catalyst habit that I would need? What's the catalyst habit, for example, for me, my energy was very, very low years ago and I decided the catalyst habit that I could control was drinking a gallon of water a day. That was my outcome. Follow me. My outcome was 1 gallon of water a day. Okay. However, that was a habit that was difficult to create. So I said to myself, what's the catalyst step that could get me in the door? And that was this. Here's the catalyst step. I left a 1 liter bottle of water next to my bed, just a liter for when I woke up in the morning. And my catalyst habit was when I woke up, I drank that liter of water before I did anything else. That was a catalyst step to get me towards my outcome. That was specific, which was drinking a gallon for the day, which was to deliver on my overall goal, which was to feel more energy and health and vitality in my life. So that's an example of a catalyst step. What is a catalyst that you could do to get you into the game, to get you moving? Much like James Clear's two minute idea. Okay, these are huge things because you can start going step by step. It might be just getting to the gym, it might be ordering that microphone for the podcast. You're going to start just ordering the microphone. Right? That's a catalyst step. Why does that matter? Because deliberation is delay. Strategy is oftentimes like strategic procrastination in the sense that what you're doing is you're going into all this planning phase, but really it's, it's mocking. You need more planning, you need more time, you need more strategy. That's all an excuse not to take action. And what I'm saying to you is, I cannot teach you how to drive a parked car. The most important thing you can do is to just get going. You've got to write an entire book. Maybe the catalyst step is you're going to write the first sentence of the book. I had a friend of mine, when I was struggling writing the Power of One More, I just couldn't get decided on what I wanted the book to be about. Exactly. He said, forget writing the book. He said, write out what you want the chapters to be first. You don't have to even have a title of the book yet. What would the chapters be? And so I wrote the chapters out, just the titles of the chapters, not what was in the chapters, not what I was going to say about them, not the content, not the quotes, not the title of the book, not even the flow of the chapters. Just what would the chapters be? And what that did is, was a catalyst step to get me out of delay, to get me out of procrastination, to get me away from deliberating about it or strategizing about it or planning about it. It got me in motion. And then I wrote those chapters out. I went, no, that wouldn't be the order. I'll flip this. And then the next morning I'm going, nah, that wouldn't be a chapter that could fit in that one, but I'm going to make this a chapter. And then all of a sudden I started recording audios that would start in the book. But the catalyst habit that moved me was the idea of writing the chapters out. The catalyst habit of drinking the gallon a day was to get the 1 liter of water by my bed, right? And to stop deliberating, stop delaying, stop strategy sessions that end up being procrastination sessions. Okay? So huge, huge deal. Third, this is a big one. Identify the biggest obstacle or distraction to you getting the goal done. What will likely be the biggest obstacle or distraction? Because really, oftentimes in life it's not about just adding a new habit for a goal, it's about eliminating one that's obstructing our outcome. So part of what we've already created is a catalyst habit. So it's creating a new habit. The third thing then is identify what the obstacle is or the biggest distraction. So could that distraction be Netflix? Could it be your phone? Could it be a particular room you're in? Right. Could it be a person? Could it be a thought? Right. Could it be something else you're doing that's no longer important to you, that's taking up the time that is required to do this new thing you want to do. But if you don't identify what's obstructing you, what the distraction is, oftentimes you will revert back. But you're a pretty powerful person immediately when you've got specificity to your outcomes, right? That's a big deal. You've developed a catalyst step or habit, and now you removed and identified the biggest obstacle or distraction. That's a huge thing. And maybe the biggest obstacle, distraction is your lack of self confidence. And you need to immerse yourself in personal development as you get going. But to some extent, if you can. Like for me, I know for the most part my distraction is getting into doing things that I call in the small. I get into the small things. I get into the weeds too much. Instead of staying in the biggest and creating the big things and doing the big Things that move things. I would say also that prior to the change I've made recently with, you know, I've had some health challenges. So I've gotten off of social media. One of the best things I've done in a long time for. For my physical and mental health. But also it's eliminated a huge distraction. It's just. I can't imagine. You can't even begin to imagine how much time you have when you're not in this stupid phone, looking at stuff that doesn't mean anything. It's really incredible, or that doesn't even make you feel good anyway. So that phone was. Maybe it's the news, right? Maybe it's your obsessing over the news. You know, it could be a TV show you're too caught up in. If you wonder whether or not you can build a new habit or not, or you could become obsessed with something, think about the last time you fell in love with some TV show on Netflix or Amazon, and you streamed 18 of them in a row. So you're pretty good at staying focused, aren't you? Right? You got pretty specific with what you wanted to do. But what that stuff can become is. Becomes the obstacle or distraction and not the thing that leads to our success. And so. So identify that number. 4. Success leaves footprints. Listen, there's a pathway already there. There's no hacks or shortcuts to success, but there kind of are. I was getting a new phone yesterday, and the young man that worked in that store is 20 years old and he's got a baby. I got to know him pretty well as we were sitting there. It ended up being a few hours of getting a new phone, and I just loved it. And he had so many questions for me, you know, about success in life. And he just wants to be somebody so badly. Like, he's got a fire burning in him that I didn't see with other people that worked in there, but I did see in him. He's. You know what I mean? That special one. He's got a fire. He wants to be somebody, Wants his life to be awesome. He wants to compete. He wants to be successful. He wanted to be wealthy, like many of you do. And he said, is there Any tips, Mr. Mylett? Or hacks or shortcuts? I said, you know what? There's no shortcuts to success. And I said, well, there actually is. Success leaves footprints. He goes, what do you mean? I said, well, the quickest way is to find somebody who's already done what you want to do and get as close to them as you can. If getting as close to them as you can is reading their book, then you're closer than when you didn't read the book. If it's listening to their podcast, listen to their podcast and maybe you're closer to them there. Not just me, anybody. It doesn't, I'm not necessarily saying that with me or I said as a young person, see if you can't go to an event or a seminar they have and best go to work for them if you can go to work. He goes, I don't know what industry I want to get into. What do you think? And I named a few different industries and I said, like. He said, well, maybe I'll get into real estate. I said, well, if it were me and I was going to get into real estate, I'd find out who the top broker in this town is or in this area is. And I would go to work for them and I'd work for as little as I have to work for to pay my bills, to get up close and to learn. And I told him, I said, there's this great Chinese proverb. And I said, the proverb goes like this. If you want to know the road ahead, ask those coming back because they've got footprints they've left. And so success leaves clues, but it leaves footprints the exact steps to take. So go find somebody who has taken those steps and learn from them and duplicate it and make it your own. Don't copy them, model them. There's a difference. When you copy someone and you become like a knockoff version of them and it almost looks like you're doing an impression of another person. I've watched a lot of people do that. That comes across inauthentic, not very congruent, not real. Because we're all unique human beings with their own talents and nuances and idiosyncrasies. And so when you just verbatim copy somebody, it's just a weaker knockoff version. But modeling somebody is slightly different. That's learning from them and then making it your own to fit your personality, your intensity level, your talents and giftedness. So model someone who's left the footprints and that's much faster way to get to your goals. And the thing that you should be modeling in them are their habits or is their habits. What are their day to day habits they have that have delivered on the results they've gotten. Because oftentimes we are not sure what the habit is we need to form, but somebody else does know. And so Whether that's reading their book, listening to their podcast, going to their event if they have one, or going to work for them. And for the record, I'm not talking about talking about me. I mean, I wouldn't be the person to teach you real estate. I'm just giving you an example. So whatever that industry is, find the best person in it and get as much information from them as you possibly can. With the advent of social media, that is one of the great gifts that you could follow somebody who's in a particular industry or craft you want. And people are pretty free with giving away information now for free on their podcast, on their social media, so you can begin to learn from them. Number five, depth perception. I think most people don't realize that they're much closer to their dream and their goal than they realize. And so most people don't have a lack of vision or a goal. What they have is a depth perception problem. They think they're further away than they are from the goal because they think it's so far away. And by the way, it could be years away, but you think it's really far away. Because you think it's so far away, you behave like it. You've created thoughts, patterns and belief systems that will always keep it there, that far away, because you think it's so far away and it's a lie. The truth of the matter is you're probably one decision away, one mentor away, one new habit away, one new strategy away, one new catalyst habit away from completely changing your life. And so there's a depth perception issue for most people, which is they believe these things they want in their life are further. That doesn't mean it doesn't take a long time, doesn't mean you don't need aggressive patience where you're aggressive but patient. It does mean, though, you should be in a hurry. Not enough people are in a hurry. I meet a lot of people. They're too casual, they walk too slow, they talk too slow. They don't really believe anything's coming around the corner that's going to change their life. So as a consequence, they don't look for it. But what if you lived in anticipation that you're going to meet that next person or that next account or that one client that's going to give you tons of referrals, or that one idea, or that one thought, or that one mentor, or that one relationship, or that one emotion, that one strategy? What if you lived in anticipation of that, that your depth perception change? You said, I'm One away. I'm the power of one more away. Then your reticular activating system goes to work on finding it, because you believe it's true and it's important to you. If you're oblivious to it and you think it's not going to happen forever, those very things, people, places, thoughts, etcetera, could present themselves to you and you will not see them. I always give this analogy, which I know you've heard before, but if you ever buy a new car, it becomes important to your RAs. I bought a Tesla once, and I remember everywhere on the road I could see Teslas after I bought it, I mean, I'm driving my family crazy. There's another one, there's a red one, there's a white one. Other side of the freeway, three lanes over, there goes another right. You've all had that happen. Why? Because they became important to me, because I owned one. All of a sudden, my RAS reveals to me, even things out of the corner of my eye over here, those things were always there. Those Teslas were always there. Why didn't I see them before? Because I. I didn't have them as important to me and I didn't expect to. So if your depth perception is that it's years and years away, these Teslas of your life, you will miss. And these Teslas come in the forms of the one idea, the one person, the one client, the one relationship, the one thought, the one emotion. You miss them, they were delivered to you. You didn't hear them, you didn't see them, or you didn't feel them because they weren't important to you and you didn't believe strongly. Your RAS is a prover. It's going to prove you right. It's going to find the things. It's almost like you have a belief system. It's like the top of a table. What the RAS is trying to do. The RAS is trying to find references to prove you right, to put legs under it until it's stable, and then once it's stable, that's why, like, if you're debating politics with somebody or something like that, they had an opinion and then their brain went to find the references to prove them right. And now they're like an immovable object and you shouldn't even be talking to them. You know what I'm talking about, right? So their RAs reinforced it, and then their algorithm reinforces it, and then all their friends reinforce. They got all these legs under the table. They're an immovable object because their RAS is going to prove Them, right? So if you strongly believe your goals and dreams and vision are right around the corner, that you're the power of one more away, then your ras goes to find those Teslas. But if you believe it's far away, it doesn't see them even when they present themselves to you. And that's why some people become mega successful and other people don't. It's not about talent. It's almost never about talent. It has a lot to do with our mindset, our mental programming, our vision and our goals and our habits. One of the things to deliver on a goal is the habit of accurate depth perception, accurately using your RAs to find things. And that just makes your goals important to you. See, go all the way back to number one. If I have non specific goals, I want to get in shape, I want to be wealthy. What's my RAs going to find to process that? Nothing. But if it's, I'm going to weigh 180 pounds and I'm going to be whatever, shredded. All of a sudden your RAS listens to the article on the new protein that's out or sees the new workout or introduces you to a trainer or a workout person or a book on something. They were always there, but now you're seeing them because they're important to you. Okay? And of course, maybe it creates new associations for you, make new friends that are in that space and you're elevated because of that. So depth perception matters. The ras matters. Here's the last thing I'll tell you on that. I don't know actually know exactly what the data is on this, but there's a bunch of data that suggests that anything a human being gets focused on for a year, they become in the top 5% in the world at that craft. Isn't that fascinating? The power of a human being who becomes obsessively focused over a year or two ends up being in the top 5% of whatever that is that they choose to get obsessed with. You could have never ever, like, I'll give you an example. I never had ridden a horse in my life till about once when I was a little boy. But I knew nothing about horses a year or two ago, like literally nothing, maybe three years ago. And then I started riding. I didn't know the difference between a, a bridle and a halter. I didn't know how to lunge a horse. I didn't know what posting was. I didn't know about hooves. I didn't know about, you know, the veterinary things, the chiropractic Stuff with horses, I didn't understand the, the reigning aspects, using your legs as pressure, all these different things. But I became pretty obsessed with horses and riding horses. And although I'm not a great rider, I'm probably in the top 5%. Why? Because 90 of people don't know anything, right? So I've eliminated them right off the top. And then just the fact that, you know, I've gotten okay at riding there. I'm not ever going to be a roper or a jockey or any of those other kind of things. Those are the top 1 or 2%. I'm not going to get to that. But you know what, If I were 18 years old or 15 years old, maybe I could have got to the top 1 or 2%. But you can get to the top five at about anything with obsessive focus. I mean, if you know nothing right now, nothing at all about playing chess, never played in your life, but you came obsessed with playing chess. The rules of the game, you played it over and over again. You gave, you read the books, you studied the pros. You may never be the grand champion, but you can get better than 95% of the people at it. And so don't underestimate total immersion in something and how great you could get at whatever it is. Fitness, exercise, reading, podcasting, writing a book, starting a business, getting into any industry. I believe you could get into any industry as long as it takes advantage of some of your talents, some the of and giftedness. And if you become obsessed in that industry, you get the right mentor, you get specific on your goals, you eliminate the distractions, you have the catalyst habits in your life, you have the right depth perception. I believe you can get to the top 5% of that industry. Let me say that to you again. You could choose any new career. This is my opinion, with rare exception. As long as you have some giftedness towards that craft or proclivity for it and start from scratch. And in a year or two, if you're obsessed with learning and growing and trying and doing all the things we're talking about here, I believe you can get to the top 5% of that industry. I believe the data suggests this. It may take a year or two, but you start to eliminate all the unfocused people. First off, you eliminate all the people not in that industry, then all the people who quit, then all the people who can't deal with the failure, then this, then that, and you start getting pretty darn good. I think you get to the top 5% and then from There it's a dog fight to who the best in the world is at anything. That requires hard work, refining of the game, good fortune, blessing, momentum. But top 5%, you can get there. And I think you ought to walk in with that type of confidence. I'm gonna get into real estate. You know what, in a year or two, I think I can get to the top 5%. I'm gonna get into finance, I'm gonna get into writing books, whatever it might be. I think you get to the top 5% if you do these things. I can't promise you that, but the data suggests just about anything, something as goofy as riding horses part time, you get to the top 5%, you eliminate all the people who don't do it, who aren't even trying, who've quit, and you slowly move your way up the ranks. Number six, where performance is measured, performance improves. Now that you've got your goals and you've got some of these habits that you're reinforcing, okay, you have to measure it. You have to measure your performance or that of other people. But let's just take you, you got to measure regularly. If you're changing that weight, we got to weigh in regularly, do your body fat regularly. You got to diagnose your workouts. Are you getting stronger? Are you getting weaker? What body parts are getting better? If you're starting to write a book, you've got to measure the progress of writing the book. If you should be having written 30% of the book by now, it needs to be measured over that period of time. If you're going to make a hundred thousand dollars this year, you should be at XYZ through the year. If you're going to save a million dollars in your lifetime, you're measuring the amount of savings you have. If you're not measuring a performance regularly, it will not improve. But when you do measure something regularly, typically it improves. Go back to investing in that company. You want that company to be reporting to you if you've invested in it over time, of how they're doing. Because if they don't, it's unlikely they're going to improve. Human beings, when they are measured, they improve. So whether you lead people or are leading yourself, one of the greatest gifts you could give yourself is by challenging yourself to have your performance measured. The numbers matter, the leaders board matter. The scoreboard matters. You got to have the courage to look at the scoreboard of your life, look at the scoreboard of your weight loss, look at the scoreboard of your new business, look at the scoreboard of your wealth, the scoreboard of your relationship, where it's measured, it improves. When you hide from measuring it, it's not going to improve. So you got to measure it. And lastly, seven, you have to have an appropriate celebration and recognition when you do achieve a goal along the way. See, listen, your brain needs to be rewarded appropriately when you achieve something. So if you. A lot of people, I did this when I was young. I would just achieve and go, okay, on to the next one, on to the next one, on to the next one. That's a formula for burnout. Because your brain eventually goes, I don't want to do this anymore. I'm not getting anything out of it. I'm getting no dopamine out of this. If I don't get any dopamine, I don't want to do it again. So you've got to give yourself appropriate celebrations and recognition if you're leading other people, appropriate celebration, appropriate recognition for their achievements. And I'll talk about appropriate lastly in a minute. But what has to happen is your brain has to say, I got a reward. I got my dopamine hit. The good news is all the data tells us that we get more dopamine as we approach the finish line towards a goal, as we actually get when we get there. So just the pursuit of greatness can give you the dopamine that you're looking for. But when you get there, for most people, it falls off the charts. It's like a crash. It wasn't what I thought it would be. I'm on to the next one. I'll celebrate the next time. And you're training yourself to not really want to keep doing it over and over again. So you got to have appropriate celebration and you got to do recognition of yourself. Now, on the other side of that, I've seen people with completely over the top celebration. They hit their best month ever in sales, and they go to vacation for two weeks. Just when they've got momentum going. That's insane to me. You just created momentum. What you're doing is destroying your success, sabotaging it so that when you get back, you're back to ground zero again. So most people's problem is not that they don't appropriately celebrate a little bit. It's that they overly celebrate. They celebrate too much, they flinch. They recognize because as they approach their finish line, they didn't set up a new goal and a new outcome that stretches them out even further. This is a major mistake. I got there and I just didn't know no. As you're approaching the finish line, get there, don't move it, don't move the finish line because if you move the finish line, you never get there. You never get the dopamine. But when you the celebration get there, celebrate and move it forward. What's the next thing? What's the next number? Where are we going next? And again, it's got to be specific. We got to eliminate distractions. We need a catalyst habit. We need these other things. But please appropriately celebrate. The 20% of you won't celebrate at all and you're eventually going to burn out and train yourself not to go for it. The other ones over celebrate. They take too much time in between. Right. They sabotage the very results they got. Usually most winners, real achievers don't celebrate enough. And people that are always going to struggle in their life, man, I, I remember this just coming up in business like so you just had your best month ever and you took four days off or you just had your best quarter ever and you stopped doing all the things that created that quarter. Like you think you're done, like you think it's all going to work out now that you're over the hump that you don't have to work like that anymore. Successful people do what they did to get there and more the next time unsuccessful people stop doing what it required for them to get there in the first place and they do less. I never understood that. Let me say that to you again. I want you to evaluate you, you just hit your sales goal, you just hit your financial goal. What did you do to get there and what you did to get there. Do it again and more to produce the higher result. It's going to require more. But what most people think is they think, oh, I got there, I have to do that anymore. I've got momentum in a different position now. Things are okay. I'm past the scary phase. I don't think so. So you got to do more than what it required. And that's why you'll see great athletes. I, I think of like the Kobe Bryant's and their work ethic of the 3am workout. Everybody on the team went to practice. He'd do that 3am workout, then go to the team practice, then come back after lunch, then again. And that's after winning championships, that's after the titles, that's after the recognition and that's why he was Kobe Bryant and other very talented players, names we don't remember, they won a championship or they got to the NBA but for some reason, they overly celebrated and they didn't re up their game. Here's what the great ones know, that the habits that got me there will keep me here. And I'll have to create new habits and better habits to get me to the next level. The people that lose abandon the very habits that got them there in the first place. Is that crazy? Think about that again. If habits are what are delivering on it, you finally got your habits right, you finally produced the results and you stop the habit. You somehow think that it's just going to keep going. This is the delusion that's happening to people. And this is why most people are successful for a while and then they're not. And the reason they're not long term is they stop doing what got them there. Really successful people say, these are the habits that got me here. What's the new, even better improved habit that would get me higher and better? And so that's how you got to look at it. Upgrading your habits to get to the next level, not stop doing the things that got you there. And then the last thing, I just want to kind of give you the, maybe the warning of, of someone who's a little bit further down the road. Something that happens to us insidiously when we achieve or when we get better. Ironically, getting better can actually cause us to be very hard on ourselves. Most people will never tell you this because what happens is when you grow and get better as a person, you begin to look back at the former version of yourself and judge it and judge them and decisions or choices you made. Because now you've acquired more wisdom and information and maturity, maybe experience. We have a tendency to judge other people or judge ourselves unfavorably when in fact us three or four or five years ago didn't have this level of experience, didn't have that level of wisdom, didn't have the information or the maturity. So to judge yourself for lack of success in the past or failures in the past isn't fair to you because you didn't have all that wisdom, you didn't have the information, you hadn't been down the road. And also to judge other people who have not acquired your level of wisdom yet, or information or experience isn't a healthy thing either. Because someday if they go down the road you've gone down, they'll acquire that as well. So just be guarded against judgment of your former self or judgment of other people so that you can keep that mindset. Yeah, I've been saying this lately so much. There's this great Gandhi quote that says, I will not allow you to walk through my mind with your dirty feet. And one of the things that have the dirtiest feat in life is judgment, an assessment of ourselves or other people. It's one of the worst things you can do for your mindset. And so sometimes when we begin to achieve, we become more judgmental of other people because they're not where we are, or friends of ours that haven't come along the same journey. Or we become judgmental of our former self. And none of that judgment is healthy nor justified and does not serve you. And so make sure you protect yourself from judgment as well. Jam.