← THE ED MYLETT SHOW
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- [00:00]
Ed Mylett
So, hey guys, listen. We're all trying to get more productive and the question is, how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth based environment, that you're much more likely to grow and you're going to grow faster. And that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Burchard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down growthday.com forward/ed. So if you want to be more productive, by the way, he's asked me, I post videos in there every single Monday that gets your day off to the right start. He's got about 5,000, $10,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with the app. Also, some of the top influencers in the world are all posting content in there on a regular basis, like having the avengers of personal development and business in one app. And I'm honored that he asked me to be a part of it as well and contribute on a weekly basis. And I do. So go over there and get signed up. You're going to get a free tuition, free voucher to go to an event with Brendan and myself and a bunch of other influencers as well. So you get a free event out of it also. So go to growthday.com forward slash ed. That's growthday.com ed.
- [01:05]
Progressive Insurance
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- [01:46]
Les Brown
This is the Ed Mylett Show.
- [01:50]
Ed Mylett
Hey everyone. Welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. It's like an honor for me, everybody, to introduce this man to you because today is going to be an absolute treasure with the great Les Brown. So, Les, thank you so much for being here.
- [02:09]
Les Brown
Well, thank you so much for having me. And you're very modest. I'm looking at the greatest speaker on the planet.
- [02:15]
Ed Mylett
God bless you. This teacher Speaking about that on voice because the third thing was communication. I literally shared this with my son when he went away to college. This teacher stopped you when you were in that classroom, correct me if I'm wrong, and said, listen, there's three things you need to have if you're going to prevail in this life. Everybody, this is where you. Right now, if you've got children around you, you go grab them right now. Because I've shared this with both of my children. This is compelling stuff right here. Because this was one of those moments where your life was not the same again. After he delivers this message to you. Yes.
- [02:47]
Les Brown
Yeah. He said, you have to work on your mind. He was a person who believed in Earl Nightingale, who said, you don't get in life what you want, you get in life what you are. Dr. Carter G. Woodson. If you can determine what a man shall think, you never have to concern yourself with what he will do. If you can make a man feel inferior, you never have to compel him to seek an inferior status, for he will seek it himself. And if you can make a man feel justly and outcast, you never have to order him to go to the back door. He'll go without being told. And if there's no door, his very nature will demand one. He said, develop your mind. Next thing he said, practice the principle of OQP only quality people today. Today, in order for us to make it. Even before the coronavirus, the suicide rate in America had increased by 32%. Today, in order for us to make it, we have to create what we're doing now. Collaborative, achievement driven, supportive relationships. One of the major issues we're facing right now is loneliness. And one of the major determinants of a long life. I thought it would be plant based diet or becoming a vegetarian or a vegan or exercise. It's positive social relationships. That's the main factor. And the third thing that he said, he said, Mr. Brown, develop your communication skills, young man, because once you open your mouth, you tell the world who you are. Your ability to communicate humanizes you. You explain it so well. When you talk to people about the number one skill that they need, if they're negotiating, if they want to advance their careers, if they want to create a movement, they want to promote their business or promote themselves. That skill. Had I not had that skill when I was fired from working for the Miami Sanitation Department, if I didn't have the ability to communicate, I would not have been able to be a salesman at Sears or do door to Door sales. I would not have been able to become a disc jockey. I would not have been able to become a state legislator in Columbus, Ohio, and pass 14 bills my first term. And I was elected the third term, three terms. And then my sister called me and said, leslie, are you sitting down? What's wrong with Mama? Mama has breast cancer. I said, I'll be right there. She said, leslie, you don't have to come. We found a good nursing home for her. I said, listen to me. No. She adopted seven. Seven will be there when she takes her last breath. And I left that day. And I'll never forget, when I rung the doorbell, a friend of hers, name is Mildred, she came to the door. She said, oh, my God, Mamie, Leslie's here. And I heard my mother voice, said, I knew my boy would come. I knew my boy would come. And I came in, and her things were packed. I said, unpack everything. I said, mom, I'm here. I'm here. And so it's.
- [06:04]
Ed Mylett
Wow, wow, wow. This thing with your mom. Do you know who Art Williams is? Do you remember Art Williams, used to be a speaker?
- [06:14]
Les Brown
All you can do is all you can do and all you can do is enough. But all you can do. I study everybody good. I know you do.
- [06:23]
Ed Mylett
Listen to you.
- [06:24]
Les Brown
You Zig Ziglar. If you give enough people what they want, they'll give you what you want. Jim Rohn. When the end comes for you, let it find you. Conquering a new mountain, not sliding down an old one. I study them.
- [06:41]
Ed Mylett
The reason I ask you this is when I introduced you as the greatest speaker that I've ever seen. And by the way, that shortchanges, I believe, greatest teacher communicator that I've ever seen in my life. And the other one that made the impact on me was Art Williams, who I know you both agree with. This is a. There was an amazing communicator. Still is. And so I met him one time, and he gave me a nice compliment about a talk I had given. And so I said, well, there's only. There's two I've ever seen in my life. And I said, it's you, Mr. Williams. And I said, and then Les Brown's in a class all his own. And I said, he's so talented and gifted. And he stopped me. And this leads to your mother again, a situation that I know about. I'd like you to share. And he goes, he's not that talented and gifted. He's a worker. He works. Les works at it. This is a skill he's developed. He wasn't born with this. He's worked at it. If you knew the people. I know. This guy is on the road. He works. And then I was listening to you and this amazing. Your mother's. This theme in your life. But when you were a young boy, your mother lost the ability to work. And so I think the story is she starts sort of like making a little moonshine to sort of support the family, right? And something happens, and I think you're like 10 years old, something like this, right? And then you gotta take over. Would you just share this? Because I think everything happens for us, not to us. Our test will be our testimony, and the messes of our lives don't disqualify us. I think so many people think, this mess I'm in, this divorce, this business failure, this choice I made, I'm not proud of that. I'm ashamed of it. It disqualifies me, my background, my upbringing, I'm disqualified. Turns out you can turn those things in to be your testimony. And this situation with your mom, I think, triggered this work ethic in you at a young age that Art told me about.
- [08:27]
Les Brown
Yes, Mama, she started selling homebrew and moonshine. And. And it was difficult for us at that time, for her, raising seven children. She was injured on a job, and so she promised our birth mother that these children will never go to bed hungry. We will always have a roof over our head and clothes on our back. And a man came. I'll never forget what you're talking about. So you've done your research. As much as I've been doing research on you. You and I are so much alike. And this guy, his name was Calhoun, and he knocked on the door, he said, leslie, how are you doing? I said, fine. Mama always said, don't ever open the door without telling me. And I said, oh, hey, Mama. No, no, no, no, don't tell her. I've got two friends with me. We're going to surprise her. Open the door. And I opened the door and let them come in. And one of the guys grabbed me. I was 10 years old, in the throat and hit me on the side of the head and threw me up against the wall. And he said, she's back there in the room. And they went back there, and Mama was selling homebrew and moonshine. And he said, pull up the linoleon. And they pull up the linoleum. And she kept it under the floor of the house that we were in. And they brought mom out and. And handcuffs that I said, mama, I'm so sorry. And she said, it's okay, Leslie. It's okay. And she never, ever, ever mentioned it when she came back. And so we don't have any relatives. We adopted. So the neighbors, you know, they will come in and bring us food from time to time. And I would collect, pop her in aluminum and sometimes stand in the corner. Hey, boy, come over and get on the truck. With older men to move heavy equipment. But years later, fast forward. Man, I had it in my heart, if I ever saw this guy again, I'll kill him. And, boy, you know, God, boy, he has a sense of humor. Here I am talking to my young son, John Leslie, who's a speaker and trainer. I said, john Leslie, anger is a wind that blows out the lamp of the mind. He said, what do you mean by that, Daddy? I said, don't allow anger to govern you. Never make a decision while you are angry. It blows out the wind of the mind. You make decisions and do things that you will regret later. And this time, a guy comes over and tapped me on the shoulder, and he said, hello, sir. I just want you to know we here in Miami are so proud of you. I had a talk show at King World that paid me $5 million to do the Les Brown Talk Show. Now, look, I'll never forget his face. I said to myself, oh, my God, this Calhoun.
- [11:40]
Ed Mylett
Oh, my God.
- [11:41]
Les Brown
Now, here's my son here, and I'm looking in this guy's face, put my mother in jail. And, man, I start. I was shortening the breath. And John Leslie said, dad, are you all right? I said, no. And this guy just kept on shaking, my man. Yes, Leslie, man, you really making us all proud. And I said, excuse me, sir. Excuse me. And I went outside, and my son said, what's going on? Is this something you ate? I said, no, no, child mistake. I gotta go. I said, let's get in the car.
- [12:25]
Dean Graziosi
I gotta go.
- [12:26]
Les Brown
He said, what's happening, dad? And I drove away for a little while, and I parked on the side to collect myself. I said, that man, he's the what put your grandmother in jail. And I promise, if I ever saw him again, I would kill him. He said, oh, God. I said, john, Leslie, you know what? It's a God moment. He said, why? I said, I got that hatred out of my heart for him because you were here. I have to model what I'm teaching you. People say, practice what you preach, but now God put it in me. I got to preach what I practice. I got to forget and forgiveness is not forgetting. Forgiveness is remembering without anger. I forgive him. But most of all, I forgive myself. Please forgive me, God, for carrying this anger and hatred all these years. Yeah. Listen to me. I've never told this story before.
- [13:40]
Ed Mylett
Oh, my gosh.
- [13:42]
Les Brown
This thing. You know, Forrest Gump had a point. Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get. That's all I got to say about that.
- [13:55]
Ed Mylett
I can't believe you just shared that with us. I. Oh, my gosh. Your life is. One of the things about you, Les, is that your life is such an example of what's possible. I mean, everybody, I want you just picturing this about this beautiful man. I want you. This is a. He's born, his mother ends up giving him to adoption to Mamie. He and his brother, they live in these conditions. He's 10 years old. His mother has to go away for a while. He's got to support the family. He's had all these incidents he's had to observe up close. There are other ones with his mother when she's cleaning houses. And this woman claps her hands because she's got to know when her mother's in her room because she's going to steal something, which his mother would never do. This man goes on to influence millions, I mean, literally millions of people's lives. And then this is what's great about all of us, making our dreams come true. When you make your dreams come true, the dreams of other people and dreams you can't picture also come true because then he influences this goofy dude, me, 20 something years old, working at an orphanage, and it inspires me to change my life. So it's just your life is such an example. And what's interesting to me, Les, is it was mainly tied to mom, meaning you wanted to do something great for your mother all your life. And that was bigger, I think, than any obstacle that got in your way. I'd like you to share this with people because I think most people don't understand the power of having something big you're going after that means more to you than the pain you're going to have to go through in order to get it. I don't think enough people set huge, big goals that are from the heart. Don't you agree?
- [15:25]
Les Brown
Yes. You said that. I was listening to you last night. You know Dexter Yeager, as you know, from Amway. He said, if the dream is big enough, the odds don't matter. And so when you say dream big, that's major. One, there's power and pursuit. Because as Jim Rowan said, it's not the accomplishment of the goal that matters. It's what you become in pursuit of the dream in the process. Because when you have a big dream, it will introduce you to a part of yourself that you don't know right now that you will never discover in your comfort zone. Because in order to achieve that dream, you've got to die. To who you are now. I must die daily. You must die to who you are now to give birth to who you are to become. I believe that all of us, us have stories of greatness in us. And follow me as I say this, as this download. We all have stories of greatness within us. In the beginning was the word, Thou shalt decree a thing and shall be established unto you. When shall the kingdom of God come? Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness. And all these things will be added unto you. When shall it come? The kingdom of God cometh not by observation. They shall say, is neither low there. Behold, the kingdom of God is within you. And that kingdom is voice activated. So when you speak, people who are in a dark place, you will bring them out into the light. When you speak, somebody's got a gun to their head. When you speak, they'll realize, life is God's gift to me. And how I live my life is my gift to God. When you speak, someone who's depressed and feeling anxious will remember, be anxious for nothing. I'll keep thee in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee. So that's the power that you bring and all the products that you have on YouTube that I've. I mean, how ironic. They said coincidence is God's way of staying anonymous. I've been so marinated listening to your stuff, and then you've been listening to me. Come on. What? Look at God. What a mighty God we serve.
- [17:49]
Ed Mylett
Come on. That's like my honor to think that you listening to my stuff. I got to tell you, you guys, you know, you just get what I started. I told you all, you just have this treasure. It's like you never want to stop hearing from Les. He's just. He's just remarkable. And the way you pull things and download them from all these places is just. It's mind blowing. I wish I were that great.
- [18:14]
Les Brown
You are the messenger and you are the message that's made. You got people who are speaking out here. It's been hijacked with speaking to sell. We sell people on their greatness. We sell people on the things that they need to do now. The methods, the techniques, the strategy to create the next greatest version of themselves. And when we do that, we know that when we make that kind of impact, we know that we're in the place of what Leo Toy Story, the Russian author, he said, what in the meaning and purpose of my life that will not be undone and destroyed when I'm gone? People that listen to your program and their mind and their vision has been expanded, you give them a vision of themselves beyond the adversities of what they're experiencing in this place where we are right now, and help them to begin to live their life from a place of optimism that they're going to impact other people, and those people are going to impact other people. And this work that you, as much as you have chosen this, you were chosen for this, and this work will not be undone. You're going to impact generations yet unborn.
- [19:34]
Ed Mylett
Thank you. My gosh, I'm getting chills all over one of the. I want to. I want. I'm always watching you, right? And so thank you for that. Like, sincerely, I. Someone or something could not be more special to me than what you've just said. I want you to also watch something with less everybody. He speaks greatness into people. I really believe that that's. It seems small, but he speaks greatness into people. He speaks to their better self. All of his messages always end with, there's greatness in you. And I just think that all of us should just be conscious of this. I'd be making a huge mistake. I have the greatest speaker I've ever seen on my show. Is there anything you would impart onto somebody who's listening, says, I'd like to be a better communicator? Are there a couple keys that the best ever would share with me about how I could become a better communicator? If I'm listening or watching the show.
- [20:28]
Les Brown
Right now, you know, the Serena Williams is considered a dominant tennis player on the planet, but she has a coach. Muhammad Ali said, I'm the greatest, but he never won a championship without Angelo Dundee. Michael Jordan considered one of the great basketball players, but he never won a championship without Phil Jackson. I was with Maya Angelou. I had the honor of spending a day with her. And she said, it aggravates me when they say that I'm a gifted communicator. And I said, why? She said, show me a gifted heart surgeon. I work at this. She said, do you see these books around here? I said, yes, ma'am. When I was raped. And I went into a catatonic state and didn't speak. My grandmother brought a lady here to help me and to tutor me. And she said, I want you to start there and start reading these books and give me a report. And she said, one day she came to this lady and she had written something she was very proud of. And she went, and this lady said, you can talk. Read it to me. She said, you can talk. And her mother was standing there and didn't intervene. And her mother always defended her. And this woman who wrote, I know why the caged bird sings. She said, you can talk. Talk now. And the reason she stopped talking when she told on her uncle, the man, the neighbor who raped her, they beat him to death. And she felt personally responsible and went into a catatonic state. And on that day, she said. She said, speak. You can speak. And she started reading on that day. And that lady helped her to get her voice back. She had swallowed her voice because of the trauma. Feeling, as a young kid, I caused someone to be killed because he raped me. And that was heavy for her. And so all of us are born the same way. Dumb, naked and speechless. We can learn. I didn't do what I'm doing now. For 14 years, I told Mike Williams, I said, mike, I can't speak, man, like Zig Zigger. He said, you can. I said, look, Tony Robbins and all those guys. He said, browning, you go hear those guys. Because it's in you. That's in you. And sometimes I feel that you have to believe in somebody's belief in you until your belief kicks in. And I was at an event, I think it was a Bob Proctor event, and a guy was speaking, man. And here I am there. And all of us had moments when we feel a speaker is just talking to us. You've had people who say, you, you, you, you. You were talking to me, and this was my day, and this guy was speaking. He stopped. He said, hmm, there's somebody here who should be up here holding this mic. I'm standing in your dream, and you've convinced yourself that you can't do it, that you don't have what it takes. And I'm here to say that it's not what you don't have, it's what you think you need in order to do this. Mind you, I'm here thinking, I don't have a college education. And so then he went on speaking. He said, I'm going to say this. I'm not going to say it anymore. You out There squirming in your seat right now. He said he was looking over audience, and I'm saying to myself, is this guy looking for me? And then he said, the reason I'm standing up here and you are seated out there squirming in your seat, I represent the thoughts you have rejected for yourself. Man, that was like. He punched me in the gut. I jumped up. I had a dime. I went to a pay phone. I called Mike Williams. He was my mentor. I said, mike. He said, brownie, what's wrong? I said, listen to me, Mike. Brownie, calm down. No, I'm not rejecting myself anymore. Do you hear me, Mike? I'm not rejecting myself anymore. My mother has breast cancer and she needs me. And all I got is my voice, Mike. I can't get a job. I don't have a college education. All I got is. Is the ability to talk to people. I got to use my voice. Stay up, mama. No job is going to pay me enough money to get the help that she needs. Most people don't know. 95% of people who file bankruptcy do so because of medical expenses. And when he said that, I said, I gotta speak. There's an African proverb that says, if there's no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm. Shakespeare said, the fort, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves that we are underlings. I was living a small life, and you can't fit a big dream or a big voice and a small mind.
- [26:24]
Ed Mylett
Oh, my gosh. Come on. By the way, what's crazy is God so good? I gave a talk this weekend. I gave one quote, which was that African proverb you just quoted. But, my gosh, that story. All right, everyone, I know you want less here four hours. I do, too, but we don't get him. So I have one more question for you that I think is the big, big biggie. But before I do that, make sure you're following Mr. Brown on social media, on Instagram, make sure you've got that book. We're putting the website up on the screen right now. If you're hungry or need to be hungry or you're listening to this, I know you are, go get his new book. And then last thing is, you talk about that big, huge dream. I've got millions of people right now that get access to this wisdom, and they're sitting there, they're listening to this show. They're saying, I have a dream, too. I want to do something great with my life. And I'm you les I'm sitting in the crowd of life, trembling, thinking I don't have what it takes. But there's a part of me that I want to be happier, I want to prosper, I want to make my family proud of me. I want to be proud of me. I want to serve God and I just do not know where to begin. And so I'm listening to Ed Milet show every week picking up these pieces. But now I've got Les Brown. What would Les Brown say to me if we were one on one? And I said, Mr. Brown, I've got this dream, whatever it is. What would your guidance be to me if you were my mentor to begin with?
- [27:51]
Les Brown
Never say, I don't know what it is that I got. What's most important. Commit thy works and to the Lord and thy thoughts shall be established. Commit yourself to do that which is in your heart. You were not born to work for a living, but to live your making. And living your making will make your living. We get paid to work on a job, that's what we get paid for. But your calling is something you're made for. What is it that you would do free? Something that you love it so much, you do it for free and you do it so well that people will pay you to do it. That's your dream, that's your superpower. And do that because if it's something that resonates with you, it's something that's in your heart. Where your heart is there your treasure is also. There's a young man that he prepares vegetarian meals for me. Man, this guy is good. And I can tell that the energy that he brings with this food. He said, man, he said this, the calling on my life, it's a ministry to him. It's a difference of being in something and that something being in you. Remember Al Williams said, all you can do is all you can do and all you can do is enough. But make sure you do all you can do. We always go all in on something that we love. What's in your heart because where your heart is there your treasure is also in my book. I say live a heart centered life.
- [29:35]
Ed Mylett
My heart's filled with gratitude. This message is sponsored by Greenlight. Hey, listen, one of the things I did okay as a dad was I did teach my kids about money. And it was one of the most difficult things to teach them because it's not taught in school at all. They learned all of these things in school that quite frankly they're not going to use in their real life. And things they really need like learning about money and budgeting and the value of a dollar. Let's be honest, most of us learned about saving and budgeting way later than we should have. But here's the good news. You can give it to your kids with a head start with Greenlight. Greenlight's a debit card and a money app made for families that lets kids learn how to save, invest and spend money wisely. Parents can send their kids money on the app and keep track of their saving and spend. It's convenient way for parents to raise financially smart kids and families to navigate life together. It's really good. Maybe that's why millions of parents are already using it with their kids and learning about how money works on Greenlight. So start your risk free Greenlight trial today@greenlight.com ED that's greenlight.com ED to get started. Greenlight.com ED this message is from sponsor Intuit TurboTax Taxes was dealing with piles of paperwork and frustrating forms and then waiting and wondering and worrying if you were going to get any money back. Now taxes is easy, easily uploading your forms to a turbo tax expert who's matched to your unique tax situation. An expert who's backed by the latest technology which cross checks millions of Data points for 100 accuracy. While they work on your taxes, you get real time updates on their progress and you'll get the most money back guaranteed. All while you go about your day. No stressing, no worrying, no waiting. Now this IS taxes intuit TurboTax get an expert now on TurboTax.com only available with TurboTax Live. Full service real time updates only in iOS mobile app. See guaranteed details at TurboTax.com forward slash guarantees. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Who's your support system? For me, it's my family and friends. And you know, one of the things I get asked often is what are all 800 people that have been guests on your show have in common? And not all of them have this in common. But the thing that would surprise most people that many of them have in common is they've been to therapy, including myself. That's something most people don't talk about. You know, therapy can help you from things like you're working through some trauma from childhood or a difficulty that you're going through right now. But it could also be just to get clarity of thought, a sense of direction in your life. Talk out loud about your goals and dreams or your issues and problems with somebody. Therapy from BetterHelp is helpful because you can do it online. And if you don't vibe with your therapist, you can switch out anytime and get one that you do work with. Well, you can access a iverse network of 30,000 credentialed therapists, a wide range of specialties, and easily switch, like I said. So build your support system of better help. Visit betterhelp ed show to get 10% off your first month. That's better. H e l p.com ed show that's better. Help h lp.com ed show that was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Today's awesome. I just reached out to this man, I said, hey, brother, I think the world needs a little bit more of Dean and Ed. So, Dean Graziosi, thank you for being here today, brother. One thing that's a lot of people are listening to this and they know they've got that thing. They're not working out like they should. Maybe they are in that text thing. Maybe it's that they don't eat the way they should. They don't make the contacts they should. They're not up as early. They got a thing, but they're winning in spite of it, right? In spite of it. They've got some winning going on because in spite of the fact for many years, Dean, that you weren't as congruent as you wanted to be, you were still producing financial success.
- [33:14]
Trent Shelton
Massively.
- [33:15]
Ed Mylett
Massively. But what's happened the last four or five years is your life has become a freaking rocket ship in terms of influence. You guys, Dean's been famous a long time. You go back to all the infomercial days, if you've not seen Dean or you hear this voice, it's because Dean was all over television forever. Very successful in that space, in the influence space, the real estate space, as he was not congruent in every area of his life. But, man, the last four or five years, so. So speak to that. If you can solve that thing you got. It's like a football team who's got no running game. Man, if they could just run the football, they've already got a good passing game, their defense is good. They're a playoff team already. But if they could run the football, they're going to win the Super Bowl. There's always that thing, right? True or false.
- [33:59]
Trent Shelton
Okay, I love this question. I love hanging out with you, man. And thank You. For everybody listening, I know you have lots of options. So thanks for hanging out with two friends talking about stuff where I had no idea what we were talking about. So this is really cool. Here's what I know what happens sometimes. I'll tell you what I did for a decade. If we're going to talk about relationships, I'll be completely transparent. I thought about leaving my relationship every day of my life for five years. It was almost the first thing I thought about every day. Not because she's a bad human in any way. There were just. It just wasn't the right fit. I'm not an advocate a divorce, but it just didn't fit. But here's what I did. For years, I was financially successful at the time. I thought I was the best dad possible, even though I wasn't showing them the best example. But I thought, I'm an engaged father. I coach Little League, coach softball. I'm there. I bring them to school, make them lunches, love them to death. I'm a great leader to my team. I'm a good friend to people who need me. So my relationship's off and I'm not congruent. I should be freaking fortunate. So who gets it all? This is what I remember. Who? Oh, you want it all, Dean. You want love and congruency and a good dad and financially free. And I remember just thinking, stop being greedy if your relationship doesn't work. But really, what I was doing, it is. I wasn't facing something because it was scary to me. It was scary leaving my kids. I'm not thinking. Thinking of not being with my kids every single day was like a shot in the gut. And I just ignored it and avoided it. And it grew. It grew to where I didn't become the man that I was supposed to be. Listen, whatever you believe in, God, the universe. I believe in God. And I believe God has created you to be bigger, better and stronger than you currently are. No matter where you are in your life, God wants you to be the woman you were meant to be, the man you were meant to be. And if you believe in karma, whatever your beliefs are, you are meant, meant to be more. And when you let one of those areas build, it doesn't go away. I don't care how much I try to push it down on the inside. It just kept growing. And you feel that you're looking away from it, even though it's there. And I want you to think about this when you have to. Some things are difficult. You might have to face a change of a business, a change of a business partner, change of a job, change in a relationship. The thing that you've been avoiding is growing, even though you think it's not. And it's like, got roots, and the roots are creeping over into all areas of your life, and you don't know, and you're working harder, stronger, faster to overcome this, and you think you're conquering it. If you're in a relationship, that's not good. And maybe you go to the strip club or you text on your phone or you do something and you think you're fulfilling it, you're not. You're just letting the roots grow in deeper and stronger. And you're working twice as hard to be successful, and you don't even realize it. And here's the way I looked at it when I decided, or we decided to get a divorce. And you can use this analogy. You could tell I got some silly analogies. You can use this in any area of your life. Picture your ship is in a bay. It's calm, the water's calm. There's other great ships in the bay. The weather's kind of beautiful, it's kind of nice. But you know, you're not meant to be in that bay, but, man, it just has all the signs where you're supposed to be there. But the only way out of that bay is you got to sail your ship through the storm that's out in the ocean. And you're watching the storm, and you're watching how turbulent it is. You're in the bay, and it's comfortable, but the only way to your next level, the only way to break through, the only way to get rid of those roots, to kind of crush that thing that you're avoiding or afraid of, is you got to sail your ship through the storm.
- [37:31]
Les Brown
You.
- [37:31]
Trent Shelton
You see the storm, it's turbulent, the waves are high, the sky is dark. And you're not even sure because you've never navigated that territory. You don't have a map because you've never been there. You've never experienced it. And the way I looked at it when I was going through a divorce is I was so scared for my kids. Not me being alone, but scared on how that would work out. My kids, that a lot of times I put my ship in the storm, it got bumpy, and I went back to the bay. And I'll tell you, when I finally said, I can't be the man, I'm supposed to be staying in this harbor, even though it's pretty and there's great people around, and it's going through that storm, going through the changes, the navigating of new territory. You're mapping out new territory on the fly, and your ship's going down, and you want to turn back 100 times. But there's this moment, and it happened to me when I went through a divorce. There was this moment where I didn't know if I could take it, and I was scared for my kids, and I was having anxiety attacks. But I want to share with you, there was this moment that my ship landed on the other side of the storm, and it was over. And I was a different human. I was a different man. I looked through a different lens. I had a new map, and I realized I wasn't meant for that other bay. Yes, it was safe. Yes, it was okay. But listen, at the end of our lives, do we want to be okay, right? And when I got to the other side, it was this fresh start. I found a way to be friends with my ex. I found a way for my kids to be safe. I found a way to replace quantity with quality. With my children, I found a way to be a better version of me and attract Lisa in my life. And when those roots were gone, this is what I want to share with all of you for that one area of your life that you know what I'm talking about. As you're hearing this, you're picturing it, and you're going, wow, nobody really knows that I do that when no one's watching. Nobody knows that I'd like to fix that. No one knows that I kind of BS everybody else and say I'm working on it, but I'm not. I want to tell you, when they go away, your sailboat turns into a ship with five engines on it. Like, my life exponentially grew. I became a better dad, a better leader, a better friend. I had more compassion, had more empathy. I replaced anger with compassion. And things just. I just became a different person. I mean, I think I was a good man 10 years ago, but I wouldn't recognize him. I'm not the same human today, and that allowed me to go faster. And I just encourage you. You've heard this before, but your next level lives on the thing, on the other side of the thing. You're avoiding the other thing you're afraid of. And, Ed, I think I heard you say this. You know, all of us, we get to learn from each other and listen to each other, and I'll go listen to a podcast when I need a little. I'LL listen to a little Ed Mylett or watching, but I remember somebody saying, it may have been you, but what drives me to fix those pieces. Guys, I don't want you to hear this. The business that you want to scale, start the relationship you want to fix or end the parenting style that you've gone so long doing it one way, you think it's too late and you got to fight for it. It's worth the fight, whatever it is the fight. I just want to tell you, I picture I've always pictured being at the end of my life and having a conversation with God. And he said, how did it go? Right? Always picture that. And I always have the fear of going, well, you know, I was in a good relationship, right? Or things were okay. You know, I was great at my business, great at impacting lives, and I did this. I was a good dad. What about relationship? It was okay. I can picture saying that to someone where we have this creation given to us, this opportunity, and I feel like this inner disappointment where I. I'd want to scream and go, you know what? Damn it, can I do that over? And you don't get that chance. You don't get that chance. Like, you don't get a do over and you'd want to. So I put those emotions of my future back on me. Things you've again already heard. And I think I heard this from you, Ed, or someone, but I heard someone put that on a whole other level. Could you imagine if God pulled out his iPhone and said, ed, I appreciate all you've done and you've served and you give and that one area of life. Can I play you a quick video of the man you could have been?
- [41:28]
Ed Mylett
That's my stuff.
- [41:29]
Trent Shelton
Yeah, that is yours. I knew I heard that from you. When I heard that from you, Ed, it honestly took what I had been. I had been telling myself my last conversation with God. And when I heard that from you, I've shared that and I feel that all the time. And if I didn't, I want to share this with you guys and I hope it's relating to where you are in your life right now. If you're looking for what's going to drive you, what's going to take you to the next level, how do you move your lighthouse out? How do you wake up compelled again, not just want to chill, and how do you find that thrive, that energy, that zest for life again? I just want to share with you that if I didn't sail my ship out of that harbor, that Safe harbor and go through. I'm understating what I went through. I don't take aspirin. When I was going through a divorce, worrying about my kids, I was popping Xanax three days a week because I couldn't control my anxiety. I was drinking a glass of wine five nights a week because I couldn't put myself to sleep. So I'm understating how bad I was for a short period of time when I was in the middle of that storm. I thought of turning back because I felt so crappy about myself and worried about my kids so much. But I want to tell you, on the other side, I never would have experienced what real love could be like. I have love in a way that I wish it for every single one of you. There's nothing I can even share that compares to having a true soulmate that's got your back, that supports you and loves you, and you feel the same where you don't keep score and you got each other's back. I never would have experienced that if I didn't go through the storm. And whatever that storm is for you, you have to have that compelling future and you have to stay steadfast and realize if you go back to where you were, you'll get more of what you used to have.
- [43:04]
Ed Mylett
Brother, that's just absolutely riveting. And that's why I knew we would do some magic stuff today or you would. I just didn't know to what extent. I didn't even know where it would go. But for a lot of you, that safe harbor is not your relationship. It's your job. It's where you're working right now. And you've got this dream. And by the way, that dream you keep trying to suppress, that's going to keep rising up as well. It doesn't go away. Never wait too long. You'll get to a point where it is too late. And you're going to be watching that video of your life. It's an interesting thing. Two things occurred to me. One is that the people that I love the most, man, they have two things. I'm going to ask you a question on the second one. But one of them is, oddly, we do contemplate death more than most people. I think the contemplation of the end of your life causes you to be so present now because you know that there's a finite amount of time. It's when you don't contemplate the end that you think you have forever. Most people think everyone else is going to die. They don't think they're going to die. Everyone else is going to die. You're going to die, too. There's going to be an end to this. And by the time you're at the end of it all, the you worried about, the crap that you stressed over, the people you were concerned about what they thought, the risks you didn't take, the things you didn't pursue, the pain you weren't willing to go through, you will regret worrying about those things and not going through the pain you will regret when you watch that video. And so contemplating that end is important. Trent Shelton's here with you today, man.
- [44:19]
Damon West
Thanks, man. I appreciate that.
- [44:20]
Ed Mylett
Thank you for being here.
- [44:21]
Damon West
I'm glad we could connect, man. I've been waiting for this for a long time.
- [44:23]
Ed Mylett
Big, strong, unbelievable athlete. What's your vulnerability? It's your willingness to admit the things that have been your deficiencies and weaknesses in the past. In fact, I think you've built your whole following on the transformation you have made and are making in your own life. And I think probably more than anything, the people that watch my show are interested in transforming their life. So I feel like I have the perfect person here today.
- [44:44]
Damon West
I appreciate it.
- [44:45]
Ed Mylett
It'll be one of the easiest interviews just because I know how much we enjoy each other's company, too. So I said, professional football player, there's so much to your story, but I want to sort of start in football because I think that's where some of the defining moments of your life started to happen. So take. Take my audience through your football career a little bit, and then what took place for you and what you were learning, who you were at that time, those kinds of things.
- [45:08]
Damon West
So just like a lot of kids, that was my dream, to be a professional athlete since I was a little kid. I had two older brothers, so I had really no choice. You know, they made me be that. And so blessed enough. High school, went to Baylor, then I went to the NFL. But I was supposed to be drafted in the fourth round. I didn't get the call. So I think that was, like, my first, like, shot at, like, not feeling like I was enough.
- [45:31]
Ed Mylett
So you're sitting there on draft day with your family, second day, probably thinking, I'm gonna get a call. And it never happens.
- [45:36]
Damon West
Never happened. And of course, my mom was like, you're okay. And I'm like, I'm okay. When I'm not okay.
- [45:40]
Ed Mylett
You weren't okay.
- [45:41]
Damon West
Yeah, exactly.
- [45:42]
Ed Mylett
So that's your first bout of I may not be enough. Yep.
- [45:44]
Damon West
My first time of. When I look back in my story, my journey, that's the first time I really felt like that. Got a call from Michael. Coaches for the Traffic Chargers now. But he was with the Vikings, and he kind of was my advisor to where to go as a free agent.
- [45:57]
Ed Mylett
Okay.
- [45:57]
Damon West
So he told me to go with Coach Dungy because he's like, Coach Dungeon. I know him as a man. He's gonna give you a fair shake. So I went to the Indianapolis Colts.
- [46:03]
Ed Mylett
And they had a pretty good quarterback.
- [46:06]
Damon West
Yeah, it was pretty. It was Peyton Manning.
- [46:07]
Ed Mylett
Yeah, he's pretty good. He's pretty good.
- [46:09]
Damon West
You know, he's all right. You know, Reggie Wayne, Marvin Harrison.
- [46:12]
Jeezy J. Jenkins
So.
- [46:12]
Damon West
And that's the year after they won the Super Bowl.
- [46:14]
Ed Mylett
Oh, wow.
- [46:14]
Damon West
So it was great to be in that environment.
- [46:16]
Ed Mylett
Okay, so everybody to know he's a wide receiver and Reggie Wayne and Marvin Harrison. One's a Hall of Famer, one's going to be a Hall of Famer. So you're in pretty good company. And with one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time.
- [46:25]
Damon West
Exactly.
- [46:26]
I mean, it's the. It's a dream come true, you know, I have to, like, pitch myself and not freak out when I first seen these guys.
- [46:31]
Ed Mylett
I'm sure.
- [46:32]
Damon West
So I had a great preseason. Probably the best in the NFL that year. Definitely out of rookies, but even out of just all the players, I think maybe top receiver in the NFL during the pretty preseason. Of course, you know, the main guys aren't playing all the games, you know, so I'm getting more snaps. And so I was for sure, like I was going to make the team. You know, I'm doing good on special teams. I'm like, good. I'll make the team, get a call in on, of course, the cut day.
- [46:57]
Ed Mylett
Yeah.
- [46:57]
Damon West
And I get cut.
- [46:58]
Les Brown
Whoa.
- [46:59]
Damon West
And so that's another shot in my confidence and feeling like I'm not enough. Right. I'm like, man, I did the best I can do. I performed great. And Reggie told me something. I don't know if he remembers this, but he said about this league, you have to understand something. It's about timing. It's about opportunity. So you can play your best preseason and get cut. You can play an average season and make the team. And so I got cut, but I made the practice squad, so I was cool with that. I got an apartment. I bought myself a truck, which I shouldn't have did, but I did it. That was like my promise to myself, like, I'm gonna get the truck. Bought myself a truck. And within two Weeks. Within a week, I get a call from a 317 number, and that's Indianapolis. I'm at the bank, actually, Castro. My first. Like, put my first check in there. It's like, hey, Trent, where are you at? And I was like, you know, I'm at the bank, and it's like, well, come in to the office and bring your stuff. So at that point, I didn't know what that meant. I was like, okay, you know, I don't know what. What. What that means. So I come in there, bring my stuff, and they said, we got to release you.
- [47:49]
Ed Mylett
Oh, no. Oh, my gosh.
- [47:50]
Damon West
After I got my apartment, I got my car. So I have to drive from Indy to Texas, which is a long drive after you get fired home. Exactly.
- [47:58]
Ed Mylett
Right.
- [47:58]
Damon West
Yeah. And I'm depressed, man. I'm there for two weeks. I get a call back from Indianapolis. They call and bring me back.
- [48:04]
Ed Mylett
Bring you back.
- [48:05]
Damon West
Then three weeks later, I get cut.
- [48:07]
Ed Mylett
Emotional roller coaster.
- [48:08]
Damon West
Roller coaster. And that was my whole career, just to be honest with you. With Seattle was the same thing. I mean, I tell this story a lot. I remember being in Dallas, and I get a call from Seattle in my second year, I was with the Seahawks, and they say, trent, we want to bring you back. And I was like, hey, well, can I come tomorrow? Because it was an off day. And they said, no, you need to come now. Because I dropped from Dallas to Fort Worth, pack my stuff, and it's like, just come now, but bring a bag. Go to the airport. So I rush home. Of course, like, what most people do, I call my parents, I get on Facebook, and I'm like, hey, I'm going back to Seattle. God is really working in my life. As soon as I get to the airport, the phone rings.
- [48:39]
Ed Mylett
Oh, my gosh.
- [48:40]
Damon West
206 number. Like, hello? He's like, have you left yet? And I was like, no, I haven't left. Good. Because we basically changed our mind. And at that point, that's when depression hit. That's when I felt. I questioned God. I questioned my faith. Even me talking to God, why would you bring me this far just to fail me?
- [48:58]
Ed Mylett
Yeah.
- [48:59]
Damon West
And honestly, I didn't really care about living. Not saying that I want to actually grab a gun and shoot myself, but I didn't care about life anymore.
- [49:07]
Ed Mylett
Whoa.
- [49:07]
Damon West
There was only one reason that kept me living, and that was my son.
- [49:12]
Ed Mylett
It was your son?
- [49:12]
Damon West
It was my son. He was born in 2008. In that process, and that whole process.
- [49:17]
Ed Mylett
Kept going, and that Tristan.
- [49:19]
Damon West
That was Tristan. That was Tristan, man. And it was hard, man.
- [49:24]
Ed Mylett
So obviously one of the lower points in your life, right? What did you. So you said you focused on Tristan a little bit. Is that what some of the recommendations you would give to other people that when they're down on something, is to find something even outside of yourself? Or what was that?
- [49:34]
Damon West
Something bigger than you.
- [49:35]
Ed Mylett
Something bigger than you.
- [49:36]
Damon West
Something that's bigger than you. Because I just feel like you're living for yourself, Right. It was all about you. I tell people this all the time. It's all about you more than likely going to quit. But when you have something that's bigger than you, you know, a lot of people say your why, your reason. You know, what's the reason why you wake up every single day.
- [49:49]
Ed Mylett
Yes.
- [49:49]
Damon West
You're not gonna give up because, you know, you're giving up on them.
- [49:53]
Ed Mylett
Wow. You know, I believe that because your story, although it's sports related, I think people would be surprised that confidence is even fragile at the highest levels. Right. I mean, that's. Most people would look at you and go, okay, unbelievable. College football player gets a chance to play professionally with some of the best players. One thing he doesn't lack is confidence. And that's one thing everybody should know. I lack confidence all the time. My confidence is fragile, man. Like, you get a couple rejections, couple setbacks. I have to go through all those habits and rituals myself. But it's interesting to me because your story, even though it was football, isn't that dissimilar for most people. Listen to this. Most people have had their hopes up, whether it's a relationship or a business. It looks like it's going, then it's not. Then you get down, then you pick yourself back up. It looks like it's going and not. And I think some people think, man, I picked myself up, up so many times, right? Do I have that in me again to pick myself up off the floor yet again? What would you say to them about that?
- [50:42]
Damon West
You do have it, and there's always a greater purpose than your pain that you're going through. I think that we focus on the present moment, and we kind of say, my life is over because something is over. Just because that relationship is over, just because that job is over, doesn't mean your life is over. And I'm like a living test. I mean, so many. Your story, I'm sure it's a living testament to it when you just can tell yourself, you know, I don't know what that something else is, but there's something more to my life. And that's what I held onto. And I didn't know it would be this sure, but I just knew I couldn't afford to keep my life in that place of pain.
- [51:13]
Ed Mylett
It's amazing because when you and I were talking off camera, it's like, oftentimes this is hokey. It's a meme. Your test can become your testimony. Everything's happening for me, and not to me. But these are truths, right? It's always true in hindsight. Like, the fact of the matter is maybe you'd have played three or four years in the NFL, had a. Okay, halfway decent career, saved a couple hundred grand, and went into selling, you know, mortgages somewhere or insurance somewhere. You would have never reached the millions of people you've reached. You wouldn't be sitting here.
- [51:41]
Damon West
I can guarantee you 100%, I wouldn't be here. So if it wasn't for my struggle, if it wasn't for me losing my everything.
- [51:47]
Ed Mylett
Right.
- [51:47]
Damon West
I wouldn't be here.
- [51:48]
Ed Mylett
It's amazing. The other thing people can relate to, too, is like their first big dream didn't happen. Yeah, I do, too. Like, I. Everyone in your family thought you'd be a football player.
- [51:56]
Jeezy J. Jenkins
Everybody.
- [51:56]
Ed Mylett
Everybody had your back on that. Everyone. And then. So it's when you. Sometimes when our dream fails or a relationship fails, we haven't just let ourselves down. We've let down people all around us. And that impacts people, too. Right. So you said you focused on Tristan. Yeah. What took place then? So the career ends.
- [52:10]
Damon West
Yeah.
- [52:11]
Ed Mylett
You've got a son, which we'll talk about in a minute. A little bit about the family life, because you. All that follow, if you don't follow trend stuff, you're going to see. This is one of the most vulnerable, thoughtful, positive people on all of social media. That's why his following is so big. But he doesn't ever try to come across like he's got it all figured out all the time. That's what I love about him. Neither do I. Why people say, man, you get so excited with your guests here? I'm like, these guests are here for me. Right? Like, I'm learning from them. I'm a. I. I got something to bring to the table. I know I do. But I've learned so much from the people that are my guests, including you on and off camera. So you go through that time, and I know what it's like to have a career like that end as well. I wasn't as good as you were at my sport, but I understand that. So you're focused on your son. What then happened after your career.
- [52:52]
Damon West
Right. So I remember being in my mom's room. And it wasn't a magical moment. Like, I wish I could paint this story to tell you that it was some magical moment that led me there. But I remember being in my mom's. In my room, in my mom's house. And I remember just looking around my room and seeing, like, all my football accomplishments. I seen pictures of trips. Kristen. And I broke down and started crying. Like, literally, like it wasn't some crazy thing that led me to that.
- [53:15]
Ed Mylett
Yeah.
- [53:16]
Damon West
And at that moment, and I still live by this, these words I said, it all starts with you. I said, you can either sink or you can swim. You can have this be the end of your life or the beginning to something better.
- [53:27]
Ed Mylett
Beautiful.
- [53:27]
Damon West
And said. And I came up with these words. I started. It's rehab time. I never want to be a speaker. This is my biggest fear. We can get into that. This is my biggest fear. You ask my parents, they'd say I'm the most introverted kid that they have.
- [53:39]
Ed Mylett
Me too.
- [53:39]
Damon West
I'm introvert by nature. People I don't know.
- [53:42]
Ed Mylett
Yeah.
- [53:42]
Damon West
You know, I don't know how that works, but I'm an introvert. And I had no idea of social media following any of that. I literally just said, it's rehab time. And rehab for me meant putting a strength back into a weakness. If we're all honest.
- [53:56]
Ed Mylett
Yeah.
- [53:57]
Damon West
We have something in our life that we can. Rehab.
- [53:59]
Ed Mylett
Yes.
- [53:59]
Damon West
Something that we can get better. And so for me, it meant going to the gym at 12 o'clock at night. And this was 2008, so I had one more try with the Redskins. And it's funny how I feel like God can use something to get you out of your funk, even though that's not the it that he wants for your life. And So I ran a 4.
- [54:14]
Ed Mylett
3.
- [54:14]
Damon West
I got signed with the Redskins. And I'm living this rehab time journey. I get cut. But I was good then.
- [54:19]
Ed Mylett
Yeah, you're okay.
- [54:20]
Damon West
This time I was okay. It was different than, like, I just knew that there was something more to my life.
- [54:25]
Ed Mylett
Wow.
- [54:25]
Damon West
Second situation I really had happened, that happened to me that really woke me up was my college roommate committing suicide. One of my best friends. And when that happened, I went to his service and I realized that life isn't promised. And I realized, like, this is my boy that was going through struggles that silent battles that I didn't know about.
- [54:43]
Ed Mylett
Yes.
- [54:44]
Damon West
I felt like I wasn't there for him. So much guilt I promised him. I said, aunt, I'm gonna make you more alive in my life than you ever been, man. And that's why I do what I do today.
- [54:52]
Ed Mylett
So you crawl this gigantic purpose that was bigger than your fear of speaking or your introverted nature.
- [54:57]
Damon West
Way bigger than that.
- [54:58]
Ed Mylett
Yeah.
- [54:58]
Damon West
And he's more alive in my life than he's ever been.
- [55:00]
Ed Mylett
He's alive right now. Exactly. We're talking about him.
- [55:02]
Damon West
Exactly.
- [55:03]
Ed Mylett
See, it's funny thing is that we've all lost people in our lives. And I always tell people, I said, you should honor them with who you become. Right? And that's really what you've done for him. There's so many lessons. We've only like about 11 minutes into this or 8 minutes into it. But I want to go back, I want everyone to understand this, that even at the top level in sport and business and entertainment, you're gonna find that we all have a chance. We can all lose our confidence. We can all get down. We've all struggled with false start after false start, getting our hopes up and being slammed back down. I love your point of finding a purpose bigger than you. I absolutely love that. And then also honoring the people in your life who maybe have transitioned out of it like he has.
- [55:43]
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- [56:19]
Ed Mylett
This is a mini meditation guided by Bombus. Repeat after me.
- [56:24]
Les Brown
I'm comfy. I'm cozy. I have zero blisters on my toes. Blisters.
- [56:30]
Ed Mylett
And that's because I wear Bombus, the.
- [56:32]
Les Brown
Softest socks, underwear and T shirts that give back.
- [56:35]
Ed Mylett
One purchased equals one donated.
- [56:38]
Les Brown
Now go to bombas.com listen and use code. Listen for 20% off your first purchase. That's B O M B-A-S.com listen and use code.
- [56:47]
Ed Mylett
Listen at checkout. Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Now on to our next guest. Today we're talking transformations and I have been chasing these two for I don't know, a couple months probably. Right. They were on ABC Hope, hosting the show Extreme Weight Loss. I have Chris and Heidi Powell with me here today. Thanks for being here, guys. Thank you. What is some of the steps that you guys have learned from doing the show, post during and post the show to transform yourself? Let's just use physically for now, but I think the same principles apply everywhere. What are some of the steps to change? How do you do it?
- [57:27]
Chris Powell
Go ahead.
- [57:27]
Dean Graziosi
I would love to take this one. We begin every transformation by laying out there is a true hidden path to transforming everybody's life. And it's been there, it's always been there, but it's just, it's so clouded by so much confusion. Everyone's looking for the right kind of diet, the right kind of exercise. The path is in integrity. And we can't have a conversation about transformation without having a conversation about integrity first. And this, this is what we cover. This is the secret sauce that you don't see on the show. But this is what's covered with everyone on day one. No joke. We talk about their diet and exercise. We cover that in about 45 minutes for the year. Done. Then we say, now that that's over with, let's have a real conversation about transformation. None of you. And now we upset a handful of people in this very first comment because we need to get their attention. We say, look, you're all here because you don't have integrity. And you could imagine that they just, they sit back, they're like, oh, yeah, f you, dude. You know exactly what they're thinking. I said, hold on, hold on. Now, let me. We need to explain this. First of all, let's talk about what integrity is. Integrity is doing what you say you're gonna do when you say you're gonna do it when no one else is watching. Now, I guarantee you, you all have amazing integrity with everybody else in the world. The if you tell your friend you're gonna show up tomorrow at noon, Nancy, when do you show up? She says, 11:55. Absolutely. You do. If you tell them that you're gonna go ahead and pick up their kids, you're gonna grab some coffee for their book club meeting, you're there on time, you do what you say you're gonna do when you say you're gonna do it. But I just wanna see a show of hands. And we'll have a group of 30 people before they begin their transformation. Show of hands. How many people here said the diet starts Monday? And everyone goes, ah, you see all the hands go up. How about 2015? What's gonna happen this year? Every hand goes up again. How about 2016? Let's try this again. Every single hand. 2017. How about I'm gonna wake up at 5:00 tomorrow morning and do 30 minutes of cardio. Every hand goes up. So you guys are great at making commitments and keeping those commitments to other people, but you cannot. You can, but you do not keep commitments to yourself. And that's why you're all here. And that's what we're gonna change. This is your year to take it all back. This is your year to completely change your life. But in order to do so, you need to honor yourself. You have to make yourself a priority. We are gonna teach you how to love yourself enough so that when you do give your word, you will honor that word to yourself. We believe in you, and you don't believe in yourself yet, but there's a formula to believing in yourself and what we're gonna do. And every single one of them, they're in such a deep, dark place. Because, you know, the folks that we're working with, they're 4, 5, 600 pounds that are trying to get out. We explain in order for them to get there. And all we see when we're looking out at this group of 30 people, it's not, I don't see 200 extra pounds of body fat on them. It's 200 pounds of broken promises to themselves.
- [60:31]
Ed Mylett
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
- [60:34]
Dean Graziosi
You get it. It makes sense. And I know you get it, because this is the life that you live. Because you. It's amazing, this house that you've got, all the homes, you've got, what you've been able to create. It's incredible. It's because you have integrity. You have personal integrity first, and then that translates into your integrity with everybody else.
- [60:52]
Ed Mylett
You just taught me something, just so you know, big, huge thing you just taught me. I want to tell you what it was. I want you to talk about it, or you can talk about it, Heidi. So I actually probably at one of the rooms, roots of my content is how to build self confidence. And I have consistently said for 25 years that self confidence is the habit and process of keeping the promises that you make to yourself. Having said that, though, so I'm glad that we stand there. You just said something that's a layer deeper than I've said it before. And you said it's got a connection to needing to love yourself in order to do it. So One of the things I've not backed that up with enough, man. I just want you to know, like, I'm processing that right now, is I've not backed up enough with teaching them the reasons why they haven't. And so is it your conclusion that some of that has to do with not loving themselves enough in order to keep the promise? Is that part of it?
- [61:39]
Chris Powell
Yeah. Well, and it's that they don't believe in themselves enough. Like when you try and fail and try and fail and try and fail so many times you don't believe you can do it. And it's all connected. The I don't believe I can do it and I don't love myself are directly the brother and sister. So when one of them exists, you're gonna not even try at some point, or if you say something, you're like, hey, I'm gonna do xyz. You already know before you say it or as you're saying it that you're not going to actually do it.
- [62:06]
Ed Mylett
How do you establish, how do you break that pattern? Is it a social circle that they keep? Is it. What do you do to get them to begin to do it?
- [62:12]
Dean Graziosi
There's a lot of things. Well, first we establish why they are where they are, because we'll ask all 30 of the individuals that are really struggling. They're in deep, dark place. How do you feel about yourself? I hate myself. I hate myself. Look at me, I'm a disappointment. You hear this common denominator among everything. So let's map how you got there. And literally remember, they didn't start there. They started with their esteem, their confidence, their, you know, their, their self love. It was at a certain level. And then they made a promise and they broke that promise. And so their integrity and your dignity and dignity is that esteem. It's that confidence and self love, they are intertwined. When you break your integrity, your dignity takes a hit and then they do it again, and then they do it again. And then what happens though? That they. After a while, after so many failures, you start making silent promises. Here's the catch. So it's like, hey, diet starts Monday. And everybody has been in that place where you tell your family and your friends, hey, guys, diet, it's gonna start Monday. I'm doing it this time. That's usually where most people start. And after so many times that they fail Wednesday, all of a sudden you're in the break room and you're housed on a pizza and your co worker's like, dude, I thought the diet started Monday, you're like, okay, I'm never gonna tell them when the diet starts Monday again. But integrity, personal integrity, doesn't know the difference whether you say it out loud or whether you say it to yourself. And so they start making silent promises. Okay, diet starts Monday. They'll say it to themselves and sure enough, they break it. And every single time, they go lower and lower and lower in their belief and their confidence and their self love and their dignity, it just takes a hit till they find themselves at £400 or £500 or drinking. You start drinking at 10am, you start taking your opiates, whatever it is. Because the thing is, you feel so low about yourself that you've lost your belief in yourself. Wow. So in order to get out, all we have to. It's so simple. We reverse that process and we say it has our job now that we. Look, we covered diet and exercise in 45 minutes. Now it's our job as your coaches. We're going to get you out of the hole the same way you got in, and we're going to teach you how to love yourself and how to believe in yourself and how to be absolutely unstoppable. And at the end of one year, 365 days, you're going to do something extraordinary, that the world, their jaws are going to drop when they see what you're able to do. And that's exactly what we do. We've done it 76 times. And as humans, it's the power of the human mind and the human heart. And we say, look, here's where you are. You're in the lowest of low. You make one simple promise for yourself and we let everybody select what that promise is. It might be five minutes on a treadmill, might be drink an extra quart of water, might be eat breakfast. I don't care if it's pancakes or oatmeal, it doesn't matter. Make a promise to yourself and keep that promise. And that is what we call their power promise.
- [64:50]
Ed Mylett
Power promise.
- [64:51]
Dean Graziosi
That power promise, it keeps them in the game of transformation. It keeps the transformation going.
- [64:55]
Chris Powell
The power promise promise. But the idea behind.
- [64:57]
Ed Mylett
Gosh, I'm loving this.
- [64:58]
Chris Powell
You have to keep yourself winning. You have to keep people winning. Yeah, you just said the next thing. It's like once you know you can win at something when you make one small commitment. And for some of our people, believe it or not, it's as simple as brushing your teeth every day. Like, what is one thing you can do every single day that, you know, without a shadow of a doubt you can do forever and ever and ever do that. You check it off the list and you win. And you create something, something called integrity momentum. That's one of the words that, the phrases that we use quite often. And once you build that integrity momentum and you master your first power promise again, say it's just brushing your teeth every day for two weeks. It seems so small, and it is so small. But when you know that's all you've committed to and you've successfully done it for two weeks, you feel like a champ. And you feel like, hey, if I can do that, what else can I do? So then it's like, all right, let's add one more thing. And you'll continue to build and build until you're well. And the thing I love about, Sorry, about this whole topic the most is you learn that the power of your word has that, like, your word has value. And when you speak something, you start to believe that you can actually make that happen in every area of your life, not just weight loss and transformation. It could be, hey, I want to, I want to build a multimillion dollar home on Cliff in Three Arch Bay. I'm going to do that. Your word is so powerful because you know, everything you say comes to fruition and you can manifest it.
- [66:23]
Ed Mylett
I probably have not ever had something said, and I don't mean this disrespectful to any of the other unbelievable guests that I've had, but I don't think something's ever been said like the last seven minute segment here that I agree with more like, and everyone, I want to stay on this because it's so wonderful, because you do it in the most dramatic, evidentiary way, which is someone loses hundreds of pounds. If you were just listening to this and you kind of started to hear it because it was entertaining, but you went, that doesn't apply to me because I don't have 250 pounds of extra weight. You have your addiction. Your addiction could be hiding from your dream and watching television. So as you, the condition you show up to the show in could be you've had this big dream and maybe you've shoved it so far back in the back of your mind now because of these broken promises that it's not 200 pounds of weight, it's not alcohol or drugs. It's not even, maybe a bad relationship. It could be all those things. It could be just you're not living your true purpose. You've moved all the way away from it and you're lacking These promises, and if you started to make them, you're going to get life momentum again. And I so agree with it being something initially that seems so basic and that you get credit for. So keep. If you don't mind, why don't you get some more, please.
- [67:35]
Dean Graziosi
It is all about making. It's when you give your word to yourself again, whether spoken or whether silent, following through with that. It could be, I want to start a podcast or I want to create a product. Stop talking about it. Because every time you say you're going to do it and you don't do it, you lose more belief in yourself. You're going to fall further and further into that rut and you won't be able to get out.
- [67:56]
Chris Powell
Why we have the saying, too, your word has to be more powerful than your reasons or your excuses why you cannot. Your word has to have power over your excuses.
- [68:06]
Ed Mylett
What makes me think when you're doing it, like, I watch you both talk with this energy and it's like, it's like. And by the way, that is part of your giftedness too, is you're transferring energy to people. All you coaches out there, part of it is just transfer of energy to people. Energy can be belief, love, physical energy, like we're talking about here. But what happens, everybody that they're giving you is especially those you, that if you. The body is the best place to me to transform your life, because you can create evidence there, even if it's that you're not 400 pounds or 200 pounds overweight, but you're like, I want to get more fit. The body's a great place to begin. Because what starts to happen, everyone, when you start transforming your body, this mind starts to be like, as Heidi just said, it's almost like a weapon.
- [68:45]
Dean Graziosi
As they begin to grow, as they begin to, they say, okay, look, I make a commitment and I'm keeping that commitment. And after they keep it for a while, it's like, oh, wait, what else can I do? Oh, I'll make another commitment. I'll keep that commitment. Wait, what else can I do? Now, the social group around that's incredibly important, obviously, because it's your. You know, there is. I know a lot of people say, you know, you're the average of the five people that you spend the most time with. And there can be some truth to that. But at the same time, the reality of it also is that for a lot of the folks, you know, they seem to be a little bit, I wouldn't say stuck in their situation, but the thing is that their social system, whether it's their aunts, their uncles, the people that they're immediately living with, or their friends, so many of those people are not supportive of the transformation. And that is a very difficult place to be. When one person has this deep longing desire for change and they begin to take those steps, they start to believe in their self and the other people around them start cutting them down. And so we always say instead of, you don't necessarily cut off those people. Because the thing is, you do have friends and family and there's sometimes a need for that. But it's important for you to expand your group. And when you expand your group. Yeah. And you also have to understand, coming from a place of compassion, those people, like your drinking buddies that want to go to Buffalo Wild Wings on Friday night and they're like, oh, can't invite Ed anymore because Ed's not drinking, you know, Or Ed doesn't want to have the chicken wings because Ed's all healthy now. Yeah, our people get that all the time. So at the same time, why are they saying that? Where is it really coming from? It's coming from a place of fear. They don't want to lose Ed. They love you and you are comfortable for them and this is their family and you're their tribe. So a lot of times they might be sabotaging you. Not because it's not out of malevolence or maliciousness, it's just because they're just terrified to lose you. And they just. They love you so much and they're so scared because you're elevating your life. And so it's shining a huge spotlight on the areas of their life where they're too scared to change.
- [70:47]
Ed Mylett
This is the hard question. Someone loses 200 pounds, they're in your environment, I want to call it, they're with you through a year and it's two years from now. What has been the results? Host this structure around somebody. In other words, do you find a lot of people go backwards? And if they do go backwards, what do the ones who have back go backwards have in common? And the reason I ask you that is I say to people all the time in the business world, I have more friends who used to be rich than are currently rich. Alright, it's really interesting. I have more friends who used to be successful at something than actually currently are. So there's something that happens where people stop pursuing their identity, stop the improvement process. I'm not sure what it is, but what is your experience with the 2, 3, 4 year type results and the ones who don't stay fit.
- [71:40]
Dean Graziosi
Yes.
- [71:40]
Ed Mylett
What do they have in common? What's the things they do that shouldn't be done?
- [71:46]
Dean Graziosi
We have an answer to this because that has been one of our greatest like points of pain is solving that problem. I know, because it's. And let's again, in all transparency, we were the hosts and trainers and coaches on a show that was on television. And television brings such a unique ingredient to transformation in that it actually plays off of the individuals and not in a bad way at all, but ego. Because what happens is that no matter what, when we would run for 365 days and that individual knows that at the end of the 365 days they're story will be told, whatever that story is. And so they don't want to look bad in front of the world. And so there is a constant driving force behind it. And we can sit there and we can teach them integrity and we can take them through that process and it is real and it's happening and we actually get to experience the beauty of a human being believing in themselves and loving themselves over the course of a full year. That's real. That's genuinely real. And at the end, they've lost £200. They get up on stage, their chest is down, their chin's high, they don't care about the fact that they lost £200. They're a promise keeper to themselves. They've got integrity and dignity like they're living. But there was also that pressure, that constant pressure that was always there, that goes away. All the lessons were still there, the lessons were learned. But then they go back to Raleigh, North Carolina, they go back to Topeka, Kansas and they go back to that social circle. They go back to their old daily grind and everything. And sure enough, all those old triggers start to fall back in. And we have had over 50% of our people not gain all the weight back. We've only had a handful gain all the weight back, but I would say probably two thirds of our people have gained 40, 50, sometimes even £100 back. Granted, we've helped them lose like 200. Sure, they're doing better than they were before, but they've still gained weight back. They still, and here's the thing. And again, when it comes to it could be weight loss, it could be business, it could be whatever it is you're looking to do, we can trace every single one of those back slides as they backslide and start gaining weight down to one single broken Promise. It all comes back to integrity. And I implore everybody who's listening, even take some moments to think about your friends who've fallen and they've lost all their money and everything. It all can be traced back to a single broken promise. Because whether it was one day after the show, a week after the show, a month after the show, a lot of them, they maintained for a while. And then all of a sudden, after a month, two months, three months, they started to gain weight. And they started to gain weight. And then when we actually started to get comfortable, and then when we. We go back to them, we said, what was the moment? So we go back to them. What was your promise? It all comes down to that foundation. What was that commitment that they made? Was it drinking an extra quart of water? Was it walking on the treadmill for five minutes? What was it? What was your power promise? And they go, oh, my gosh. I stopped keeping it. I remember there was one day that my husband needed me to pick up the kids from school, and then this happened, and that happened, and I didn't do it. And then the next day came along, and I said it was just a fluke, but you know what? I did it yesterday. I'm just gonna do it again today. And one day turned into two, two turned into three, three turned into four, and four turned into four years, and now here I am, and I'm 100 pounds heavier.
- [75:18]
Ed Mylett
You link it back to breaking the power promise.
- [75:20]
Dean Graziosi
Yeah, every single one.
- [75:22]
Ed Mylett
Wow.
- [75:22]
Dean Graziosi
Every single one.
- [75:23]
Damon West
Across the board.
- [75:23]
Ed Mylett
I believe that's right. Yeah, I believe that's right.
- [75:25]
Chris Powell
I'll add to that if I can. It's slightly different tactical way of looking at it.
- [75:29]
Ed Mylett
Wow.
- [75:30]
Chris Powell
But that is spot on when it comes to what actually happened. And every time, you can always find that one thing, but I think you could.
- [75:38]
Dean Graziosi
I'm so sorry. That's the same reactions that they have when we all of a sudden trace it all the back, all the way back. The gentleman that I helped lose £400, he ended up gaining almost all the back. He got up to £600 again. He traced it back to one day when he walked into a gas station and he. He was free of soda for five years straight. He walked in there and he went to go put his cup under the Diet Coke, and he saw regular Coke, he said, and he thought to himself, I'm gonna regret this. Filled it up with Coke, went from £250 to £600 again. And he traced it all the way back. And when we finally identified that he went, wow. That was it.
- [76:14]
Jeezy J. Jenkins
Wow, man.
- [76:14]
Dean Graziosi
Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you.
- [76:16]
Chris Powell
Because that's a really important thing. And I think, like we said, everyone can trace it back to one thing, but if we look at it from a different perspective, the reality is that the ones that understood the difference between something we call the transformation game and something we call the weight loss game completely have had an easier time keeping the weight off. So, weight loss game, you set a goal in the weight loss game and you do anything you can to reach the goal. The transformation game, there's actually a purpose behind the goal.
- [76:45]
Les Brown
And.
- [76:45]
Chris Powell
And you won't necessarily always do everything to reach the goal. You'll do everything to fulfill your purpose and understand and know your why. It's like the weight loss game we had people like Chris said for camera that would do anything they could to hit their way in so they could win the prize or, you know, not be looked at this way where they were forgetting all the foundational principles they were forgetting. And we can preach it till we are blue in the face. It's not about losing weight. It's about your integrity at the end of the day.
- [77:09]
Ed Mylett
I've been talking to this man about having him on the show here for, I don't know, like six or eight months. And you would think, well, you want to have him on because he's this Grammy nominated artist that everybody knows. And that's not really why I wanted him on. I wanted him on because this man has dimension and depth. So. Jeezy J. Jenkins, welcome to the show.
- [77:27]
Damon West
What's up? How you doing, my brother?
- [77:29]
Ed Mylett
You said GPS earlier. You got this thing that you write about, about your something gps.
- [77:33]
Damon West
I want you to. My mental gps. This is so good.
- [77:35]
Ed Mylett
I know what it is, but I wanted you to be able to say it.
- [77:37]
Damon West
In my former job, I've been very successful, right? And then we call them plays. In one play, you could be almost. You could have millions of dollars. In one play, you send your money to the wrong place, you could be broke again, right? And I went through that so many times. Like having it, not having it, having it, not having it, not having it. I never robbed or took anything from anybody. I always was priding myself on, like getting out and figuring it out. And what I started to notice is, like, even when I lost things, I would get it back, like tenfold, right? Because I always had integrity. My grandmother raised me. She's a Christian woman, very serious, Sunday school, the whole nine.
- [78:16]
Ed Mylett
She's such an interesting man. She's so Interesting to me.
- [78:19]
Damon West
Easter speeches, the whole nine. But I really had a good heart. I just got caught up in the streets, right? And one thing that I started to realize is if I just keep my integrity and my name is good and my reputation is good, I can always figure out how to get it back around. Cause one thing that I did learn about, like, in business, if your reputation is good and you're a good person and you pour into people, no matter what it may be, even at your hardest time, somebody might just point you at the right person or send you in the right direction because they know you're good. And the reason why I call it Mental gps, you know, I feel like there will never be a time in my life where if I lost it all tomorrow, that I couldn't get it back, right? Because I know, I understand it, and I know how to get back where I left, right? And then to keep up on that. To keep on that path. And when you. From where we. From, when you lose it, you know, people go bad. You know what I'm saying? Not like Wall street, where they jump off buildings, but they'll rob their brother. Like, they'll take from their. You know, they'll take from their best friend. You know what I'm saying? And not just take. I've seen situations where people murder their closest friends, you know what I'm saying? Or kidnapped, you know, kids or whatever. And it's just like, when you're in a life like that, you know, it's hard not to. Cause the sad thing is, like, the culture respects violence, you know, more so than money, you know, and it's just like, either you're gonna be a leader that leads with evolution, or you gonna be a leader that leads with violence. And that's how it works. You know what I'm saying? So there's not a lot of leaders that lead with evolution, right? Because those are the ones that, you know, something you ever heard? Like, when we talk, we say, wow, the good guys gotta go. Those are the ones that get killed.
- [80:02]
Ed Mylett
It's interesting you say that. The ones that lead with evolution end up experiencing the violence, right? Yeah. You know, we're both thinking. I was thinking of Dr. King. Right?
- [80:08]
Damon West
Same thing when you said it. Same thing. And even some of these kids in, you know, like, Nipsey Hussle, greatest one of my great, great, you know, Nipsey Hussle, we used to trade books. Nipsey was. He had a heart of gold. And when you look at his situation, you can't help but Think, like, how could, you know, like, this was somebody that was pouring back into the community, but he was leading with evolution. Right. And the guys that lead with violence end up being in these situations where they live longer as a result of that.
- [80:39]
Ed Mylett
I watched an interview you did, and you said, I really don't trust anybody.
- [80:43]
Damon West
Right.
- [80:44]
Ed Mylett
And then the host pushed you a little bit, and you're like, well, that was my former life. And I watched. I said, no, he still doesn't really trust anybody. Like, if we're being really, really honest, like, let's just cut, right? I don't think you really completely trust anybody, even right now.
- [81:00]
Damon West
You're absolutely right. But I find myself opening up more and being transparent. But I still have to keep. You know what kept me? Even though it doesn't serve me that much in this life, I'm learning to trust and to understand and to get only quality people. Because once you have only quality people around, it's easy for them to show you that they can be trusted to a certain extent. But I will tell you that 98% of people that I let in my life have burned me some type of way, you know what I'm saying? To the point where I'm just like, I already knew that was gonna happen. Why did I even go there? And my reason, I think, for not trusting is I've never. Outside of my grandmother, I've never experienced someone who gave me unconditional love. Right. And I never experienced someone that gave me, like, full transparency.
- [81:58]
Ed Mylett
Yep.
- [81:59]
Damon West
And, you know, I used to live out of survival and fear. You know what I'm saying? But I try now to live more out of love. But, you know, I still can't, like, Nipsey Hussle. Like, I can't think that I'm exempt to what is going on. Cause I'm still a part of that culture. So I have to still. It's almost like being a soldier, you know, if you go to, you know, you know, Afghanistan or whatever, and you come back, you still have that mentality that I gotta protect myself and my family if something happens. Cause I know how to do that.
- [82:30]
Ed Mylett
I knew today was gonna be good, but I didn't know it would be this good. Oh, no. I mean it. And I'm gonna tell you something. Like, you pull when you're this honest, you pull honesty out of me and other people. And here's the truth. So I'm not a part of that culture, but I'm a part of life. And I think that, again, I think that culture is like, A microcosm, a compressed version of what the rest of life is about. And if I'm being really honest. If I'm being really honest, same with me. I think even saying 98 is a generous number. Right? Right.
- [83:04]
Damon West
It might be like 99.7324.
- [83:07]
Ed Mylett
Right. Like, and I think what I landed on was I'm going to be trustworthy, but I'm pretty guarded with my trust. And life has proven to me. And by the way, what's cool about that conclusion is that it's caused me to try to search for where can I trust? And for me, that's God, right? Like, I don't put my faith in a God.
- [83:27]
Damon West
I can tell you about that, too.
- [83:28]
Ed Mylett
Please do, because that's what I've reached you. Please go ahead. What are we going to say?
- [83:30]
Damon West
I mean, you know, I must. I must say, like, I don't know what's been going on with me lately, you know what I'm saying? In, like, the last year. But I used to pray all the time because my grandmother taught me to pray. But I never heard anything, right? I never. But like, lately, like, I might be, like, meditating and he talks to me constantly.
- [83:54]
Ed Mylett
I love it.
- [83:55]
Damon West
And I'm serious, like, to the point, like, it almost scares me sometimes, right. And, you know, I. Nobody's perfect, right? So as long as I walk with God, I know I'll be good. Right? But people and the type of people that he's brought in my life, like, it's crazy. Like, you wouldn't believe the type of people that, you know, call me, check on me or whatever. And a lot of them don't understand where I come from and what I've been through. So. So, you know, they might not understand some of my mannerisms sometimes, but I make sure when I'm with them, I let them know that I'm really there for them and they're there for me. But what I've noticed and you said about trust is like, I trust that God is going to make sure it's good, but I still got to watch the front door for us.
- [84:47]
Ed Mylett
You know what I'm saying?
- [84:48]
Damon West
I just can't let anybody in the front door because that's our sacred space. And, you know, it's so interesting because you can look at any part of life, I'm quite sure anybody can say that they don't really have people that they can trust. And the thing about coming from, like, where we come from, especially where I come from, I can't even say that about some of My closest family, you know what I'm saying? And it's just like, you would think you can trust your uncles, you would think that you can trust, you know what I'm saying? And all these different things. And my older brother died when we was younger, so I had to be the oldest, right. So I had to kind of jump out there head first. And my experience with it just put me in a place where I just put up all these boundaries. Right. And what I'm starting to notice lately is that, you know, that wall that I put up, you know, it protected me. It kept everything out. I mean, it kept everything out. Well, it kept everything in, but it also kept a lot of stuff out. So a lot of my blessings that were supposed to come to me, they were out by the wall because I was blocking them, right? So I didn't take the wall down. I just took, like the first three layers off so I could see over the wall.
- [85:59]
Ed Mylett
So I could see. Look at that.
- [86:02]
Les Brown
Right?
- [86:02]
Ed Mylett
That's such a perfect description, Right, right, right. By the way, that is such a perfect description, right? Because if you don't have let people in, you are keeping out so many blessings in your life. I think it's almost like for me, like, by the way, taking a few of those bricks, those levels off the wall is exactly what I've done. Like, you're saying things that either I haven't had the confidence to say or the ability to say that I totally agree with. I love when I'm talking to somebody and I'm like. Because it makes me. It hits my heart like, that's truth.
- [86:31]
Damon West
Right?
- [86:31]
Ed Mylett
Like, you know what I mean? Like, that's truth. What he just said, that's what I've done, too. And almost a little bit other than with God, I trust, but verify. I don't have to verify with God. That's already been verified for me. Right. And I also trust God will bring people into my life that can get close to me. But I also believe there's free will, there's free choice, and he's going to teach us lessons in life. There are Judases in our lives, right? That's part of the stories of the Bible or whatever your faith might be. My guest today, 13 years ago today, was sentenced to essentially life in prison 13 years ago today. And then he finds himself sitting across from me 13 years later, having completely transformed his life and has become one of the great speakers on planet Earth, one of the great influencers on planet Earth, and has become dear friends with many of my best friends and it's one of the most remarkable stories you are ever going to hear in your damn life. So get ready, strap in. And here is Damon West. Damon, welcome to the show.
- [87:35]
Jeezy J. Jenkins
Brother Ed. Man, thank you for having me.
- [87:38]
Ed Mylett
Let's go back first and let's just go to 13 years ago today first. We can go back from there, but let's just go to that. What does that feel like when you hear the words that you are guilty and going away? What is the emotional feeling that someone like you, only you, can experience? What is that moment like in someone's. I've always wondered. I've never been able to ask somebody that question before.
- [88:01]
Jeezy J. Jenkins
Right? No, it's like look down the barrel of a gun and someone pulled the trigger and that's it. I mean, they unloaded on me. And what does it feel like? It feels like rock bottom. That was my rock bottom moment. And it feels like I felt like I got punched in the stomach really hard when, you know the wind is knocked out of you. When the judge read the sentence out, 65 years, and it was like, man, they just hit me with life. And I knew it was going to be bad because I walked back in the courtroom. First of all, the trial lasted six days. Six days is a long criminal trial for crimes that were non aggravated. No one was ever home during the burglars I committed. They're all meth related burglaries, property crimes, around meth. Now, it doesn't mean I didn't do the crime. I did the crimes and I was a bad guy because when I broke into people's houses, my victims, I didn't just steal their property, man, I stole their sense of security. And so I deserved to go to prison. But the trial lasted six days. And over those six days, the jury heard the story of Damon West. And as they heard the story more and more, they began to resent and hate Damon West. And I could see it in their eyes. I could feel it coming out of them. And they had every right to because here's a guy in front of him that had everything going in life. Every advantage, every privilege, every opportunity. And Ed, at the end of that six day trial, they went to deliberate for 10 minutes. Oh, my gosh, 10 minutes, bro.
- [89:12]
Ed Mylett
10 minutes on your life.
- [89:13]
Jeezy J. Jenkins
10 minutes on my life. And I came back. In the courtroom, what, they give you a bologna sandwich whenever you're in the breaks back there, people don't see this, but in the back they have a holding cell and they bring you lunch because your lunch is a bologna Sandwich when you're in jail. And I'm sitting there taking a couple bites of the bologna sandwich, and the bailiff comes in and says, they're ready. And I'm like, I couldn't even chew the sandwich. My throat knotted up. I spit it out in the toilet.
- [89:33]
Ed Mylett
Are you freaking kidding me?
- [89:34]
Jeezy J. Jenkins
Yeah, man. Cuz it's like, oh, dude, that's not good. So I walk back in the courtroom, and I have two paid attorneys. Ed, I'm a white middle class guy in America. I've got two paid attorneys. I've never had a felony conviction. I thought I was gonna get probation that day. And I thought I'd be out getting high because I'm still an addict in my addiction, right? And so I come back into the courtroom, and my second chair counselor, the woman named Karen Lambert, she said, brace yourself, it's gonna be bad. And I'm like, how bad, Karen? She said, while you were gone for that brief 10 minutes, the jury sent a note into the judge from the jury room. They wanted to know if they could give you life without parole. Ed, life without parole is a capital punishment. These aren't capital crimes. I'm like, karen, that's crazy. She said, get ready. And the judge came back in. Damon Joseph west, you are hereby sentenced to 65 years in the Texas Department of Criminal Justice. The first thing I heard, yeah, the first thing I hear was my mother gasp out loud. She's behind me in the courtroom. You know the sound only a mother can make when she hears her son get a life sentence in prison. And, Ed, that day, there's so much going on. And after the moment's over, the sheriffs are on me, the bailiffs are on me. They're handcuffing me. They're dragging me out of the courtroom. And I lock eyes of my mom on the way out the door. And all I can think to say to my mom, Ed, is, I'm sorry, Mom. And I don't. I don't even know that I fully understood that a minute or anything like that, but it's the only thing I can think to say to my poor mother. My father's there too, But, Ed, right after that trial was over, my mother and my dad are brought in to this. They put me in this little room. It's got a bulletproof glass, and they told me to wait on the other side of the glass. And my mom and my dad were escorted. And they feel sorry for my parents because I just got life. And so my mom has a conversation with Me, it's a five minute little one off deal. And she's just on it, man. And she's telling me, she's like, damon, debts in life demand to be paid. You just got hit with one heck of a bill from the state of Texas because she said, you did the things they said you did. So you're gonna have to go to prison. You're gonna pay that debt. You owe Texas that debt. She said, but you owe your father and I debt, too. She said, we gave you all the opportunity, love, and support to be anything you want to be in life. And she said, that's how you just repaid a statement. She said, that's not going to work. And she's reminding me. She said, we raised you in Port Arthur, Texas, a giant melting pot of a city, gave you a great moral compass, what you chose to not use. She said, so here's the debt you're going to pay to us now, Ed. Here it is, man. This is the direction of my life. This is those moments that you come to and you say, this is where it changed. She said, when you go to prison, you will not get in one of these white hate groups, one of these Aryan brotherhood type of gangs, because you're scared, because you're the minority in there. She said, that's not going to work. You were never raised to be a racist. You're not going to start now. She said, you will not get. She said, you will not get any tattoos while you're inside that prison.
- [92:10]
Ed Mylett
You don't have any?
- [92:11]
Jeezy J. Jenkins
No, I don't have any tats, man. I mean, and I was in the joint for almost 10 years, man. These guys, they want to tattoo every inch of your body in a joint, man. Every time these guys would come up to me in prison, Wes, let me put a tattoo on you, man. I'd be like, man, dude, I can't do it, man. My mom said no. Yeah. Because she did. Because listen to what she said next. On May 18, 2009, 13 years ago today, she says, damon, no gangs, no tattoos. She said, you come back as the man we raised or don't come back at all.
- [92:38]
Ed Mylett
Oh, my gosh, brother.
- [92:39]
Jeezy J. Jenkins
I was floored.
- [92:40]
Ed Mylett
Ed. Yeah. Your mom rose to the occasion, really? Right.
- [92:43]
Jeezy J. Jenkins
And she's a nurse, man. She's used to traumatic situations.
- [92:45]
Ed Mylett
Right.
- [92:45]
Jeezy J. Jenkins
She compartmentalized all the pain and got to work. And I asked my mom since then, I said, mom, what was it like for you? Because I'm very like. I said, I want to ask you questions today. I want to ask Questions. I want to understand people in the moment. She said, damon, what I envisioned was my son is on a gurney dying, and I'm doing triage to save my son's life. And I stepped up and that was what came to me from the Holy Spirit. She said, and my mom's a very devout Christian woman. So she said, that's what came to me. But it was like you were on a gurney dying, and I've got to stem the flow of blood or you're going to die.
- [93:15]
Ed Mylett
My gosh. So, everyone, I want you to step back for a second. First thing is you're hearing this unbelievable story, right? And we're going to go deeper on it. But I want you to know, as we go through this story, you're going to begin to hear some of the turnarounds and the strategies and the tactics that have produced this guy sitting in front of me. Because some of the people that I admire and respect most in the world have been recommending Damon to me for some time. And God's just so amazing, man. We've been, you know, kind of trying to put something together for a while. And I send you a message on Instagram. I go, hey, May 18th. Get there.
- [93:42]
Damon West
Yeah.
- [93:42]
Jeezy J. Jenkins
And that's it, man.
- [93:43]
Ed Mylett
You're like, I'll come, right? Little do I know that that'd be the 13 year to the day anniversary of you getting life in prison. I had no idea what the date. I didn't even know what the significance meant at all. So God is just absolutely amazing that he sends you to me on that day.
- [93:55]
Jeezy J. Jenkins
I call it God. Thanks, man. That's why I text you. Dude, you're never gonna believe this. Not only is it the 13 year anniversary, it's my three year anniversary of being married. My wife and I, Kendall and I got married 10 years to the day that I got sentenced to life in prison.
- [94:08]
Ed Mylett
You came to see me on your anniversary. Now I really love you. Thank you.
- [94:11]
Jeezy J. Jenkins
Oh, man.
- [94:11]
Ed Mylett
And your wife probably hates me, but.
- [94:12]
Jeezy J. Jenkins
No, we were in Mexic. I sent you that video. We were in Mexico. And so we went for our anniversary trip a week early, a couple weeks early, because I have so many speaking engagements going on.
- [94:21]
Ed Mylett
Isn't this good to hear, by the way? Because now you guys know there's like a happily ever after at some point. But let's stay in this thing here. Let's go. So, okay, you get sentenced, but let's go back. They were meth. Sounds pretty severe from what I understand happened, you had nonviolent robberies, basically. In your history and you were a meth addict. Is that accurate?
- [94:38]
Jeezy J. Jenkins
Absolutely.
- [94:39]
Ed Mylett
So that's the deal. That's a long time. Life in prison was 65 years for non violent robberies. But let's just. You did the crime and you did time for it just seems excessive to me and I think it is excessive. But let's go back. You get raised by obviously these beautiful parents. You're an unbelievable athlete. Right. Was it one decision that altered the direction of your life? Is it one time you just decided to use drugs once and you just bam, you were hooked or what took place? What took you down the road that led you 13 years ago to this day to sitting in that room?
- [95:09]
Jeezy J. Jenkins
Yeah. You know, whenever I was younger, I got into substance abuse at a young age. My gateway drug was alcohol. It's the first thing I ever did. I got into my dad's beer when I was 10, you know, and after that I smoked pot when I was 12. And I had a lot of character issues, man, but I could throw football. And this is Texas, man. Texas high school football. It's like a religion in my home state. These people are very serious about their football. And I was the man. I was a three year starting quarterback for a 5A school. So my behaviors never were. I was never held accountable for my behaviors. And I'm not blaming anybody else for that. It's just, I mean. But I didn't get held accountable. I was a good student. I made grades, got scholarship to play football at the university of North Texas. But I think the one decision that I made is that I got into substance abuse at a young age. I had no idea that I was an addict. You know, you don't. There's not a genetic test for this yet. I mean, maybe there will be one day, but I was an addict. And once I put in those chemicals for the first time, I liked the way it felt. I liked the buzz I got from drinking. Then I wanted to try something different. And it wasn't until I got to college that I got into more hardcore drugs. I was playing football and I got injured. A career and an injury in 1996 against Texas A&M. I'm 20, man. I was the starting quarterback. You played sports, man, you how big it is when your career ends prematurely. You're not ready for this.
- [96:20]
Ed Mylett
It's your whole dream, it's your whole world.
- [96:22]
Jeezy J. Jenkins
It was my identity that's the problem, man. I wrapped my identity up into something external. And I see people all the time in the world. We see people that Wrap their identities up into something external. Their money, their job, whatever. That's not you, man. What's you is inside you. I didn't get that back then though, Ed. I didn't get that. I didn't get the memo right. So I got into hardcore drugs in 96, cocaine, ecstasy, pills. Graduated college, went off to work and worked at the United States Congress. Worked for a guy running for president. Worked on Wall Street, Ed. I was a Wall Street. I was training to be a stockbroker in D when I was introduced to meth for the first time. But now we're back to the one decision of substance abuse. Man. Once I put the chemicals in at a young age, I liked the way it felt and I chased that.
- [97:00]
Ed Mylett
You also, if you don't mind saying it, we're going to go a little bit more personal. But I don't know if it was at the time or later. You sort of uncovered that there's probably a not very fair incident that happened to you when you were a young man as well, that you're maybe you're masking it a little bit.
- [97:13]
Jeezy J. Jenkins
Oh, yeah, no. When I was nine, I was molested by a babysitter, female babysitter. And this is so. But I'm careful when I, when I talk about it. I'm careful not to say that, hey, you know, this is what happened to me and this is the road I went down because of that. Because some people are really, some people have very traumatic experiences with that this was a female babysitter, that we were doing things. I was 9 years old when this happened. No 9 year old should be doing the stuff I was doing. But it didn't affect me in the sense that, that it's like, oh my God, my world was turned upside down. I can't believe this happened to me. What happened to me with that is I got introduced to adult behaviors at a very young age. It's like someone lets you inside that big door and once you got on the other side of that door at 9, which you're not supposed to be on the side of that door at 9, there's all these other doors, but those doors aren't locked. Those doors are for adults. You can just open doors to adults because you make choices. But I got on the other side of that door at nine years old and now there's drinking, they're smoking, they're smoking dope, there's skipping school, cutting classes, chasing girls, all that stuff. I got introduced to that at a very young age.
- [98:14]
Ed Mylett
So very well said. I love how you just said that.
- [98:17]
Jeezy J. Jenkins
I don't want to use it as a crutch because I know that some people are very traumatically affected by that. And I'm not trying to minimize the fact that it did affect me, but what it did to me is it introduced me to adult behaviors at a very young age. And when I touched that live wire of substances, I liked it.
- [98:35]
Les Brown
This is the Ed Milan show.