THE ED MYLETT SHOW
Episode: John Maxwell: Getting a Return on Your Failures
Date: March 31, 2026
Guest: John Maxwell | Host: Ed Mylett
Episode Overview
In this deeply insightful episode, Ed Mylett sits down with legendary leadership expert and author John Maxwell to discuss the pivotal role that failure plays in personal growth and leadership. Drawing from Maxwell’s new book How to Get a Return on Failure: Fail Smarter, Return Stronger, the conversation unpacks how to reframe our relationship with failure, distinguish between “good misses” and “bad misses,” and leverage setbacks for maximum personal and professional ROI.
With characteristic warmth, candor, and practical wisdom, Maxwell and Mylett explore why most people are held back by fear of failure, how humility and resilience are intertwined with our setbacks, and how leaders can guide others (and themselves) through failure for transformational growth.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Reframing Failure: From Liability to Asset
- Failure as a Weight: Most people instinctively see failure as negative—creating a mental, emotional, and psychological weight (04:10).
- Asset Only with Right Perspective: “It truly can be an asset. But it cannot be an asset until we change the way we think about failure and embrace it.” — John Maxwell (04:18)
- Perspective is Everything: Maxwell emphasizes that our “perspective of failure determines whether it’s an asset or a liability” (06:03-06:39).
Memorable Story:
- Mentorship Revelation: Maxwell shares advice from Robert Schuller: “If failure were not possible, what would you attempt to accomplish?” But the better question: “If failure were possible, but you knew if it happened, it was going to help you?” (04:10-05:47)
2. Ego, Fear, and Getting Over Yourself
- Paralyzing Fear: Mylett suggests that extreme fear of failure is closely linked to ego (07:08).
- Get Over Yourself: “Until you get over yourself, you’re never going to be a high successful person, because it’s not about me.” — John Maxwell (07:44)
- The Bleacher vs. The Game: Maxwell challenges: “Do you want to get in the game and fail — or do you want to sit in the bleachers and fail?” (08:00-08:28)
- It’s not about looking good; real growth comes from participation, not observation.
3. The Secret Sauce: Learning Over Winning
- Curiosity and Rapid Adjustment: Those most successful are not those who have to win, but those who must learn (09:28-10:21).
- “You don’t have to win, but you do have to learn.” (Maxwell’s assistant Linda’s view, 09:47)
- Failure Is About Response: Most people hold back not because of the right/wrong decision, but fear of personal consequences and judgment (10:21-10:44).
4. Fear of Judgment: Not the Act, But the Audience
- Fear of Failure is Social: Failure is often about “what will people think?” rather than the actual event (11:00-11:27).
- Pebble Beach Anecdote: “They didn’t come to watch me play golf. Get over yourself.” — John Maxwell (11:28)
5. Keep Failure and Success Together
(Referencing Chapter Two of Maxwell’s book)
- New Insight: “Failure and success are meant to be very close together, but our culture separates them.” — John Maxwell (12:35)
- Intertwined Lessons: Every story of success contains failure at its heart. After interviewing 3400 people, Maxwell found that “every time I ask them...failure is in that story.” (13:40-14:09)
- Balancing Both:
- When succeeding, keep failure nearby to maintain humility.
- When failing, keep success nearby for resiliency.
- “You separate [success and failure] and you lose humility and you lose resiliency. You put them together now all of a sudden, it's a beautiful thing...” (14:23-15:23)
6. The Journey, Not the Finish Line
- Learning Is Never Done: Maxwell delights in never having “arrived”—he prefers growth being a journey, not a destination (19:47-20:53).
- “There's something very appealing of never having arrived. That it's a journey and it's not a destination.” — John Maxwell (20:38)
- Fulfillment on Difficult Ground: Respect and significance are built on “difficult ground”—the value is in striving where you haven't been before (21:24-23:03).
7. Good Miss vs. Bad Miss
(Referencing another key book chapter)
- Defining Misses: “A good miss is still a miss, but you got a little closer. A bad miss, you got a little farther.” — John Maxwell (26:10)
- Good miss = “make adjustments” and learn.
- Bad miss = “make excuses” and repeat the mistake (26:10-28:03).
- “You never know whether you have a good miss or bad miss based on what the failure is. It’s your response.” (26:10)
- Victim Identity Trap: The danger of leaving the scene of a failure quickly—“the moment you leave, you learn nothing.” (28:25)
8. Leading Others Through Failure
- Walk in Their Shoes: Look to your own failures and step off the “judgment roll.” (29:35)
- Normalize Failure: Highly successful people fail more, because they try more (30:17).
- Share Your Failures: “When successful people talk about their failures, then failure gets tagged with successful people...When you talk about...success, you discourage people. When you talk about failure, you encourage people.” — John Maxwell (30:38, 31:54)
- Encourage, Don’t Discourage: Revealing imperfections is freeing—for both leaders and those they lead (39:03).
9. Authentic Leadership: Admitting Mistakes
- Modeling Vulnerability: Culture punishes public leaders for admitting mistakes, but true leadership is in accountability and authenticity (36:49).
- “When I admit my failures, I get in touch with my humanity, which allows me now to be able to really grow. So it's good for me, but it's also good for the other person.” — John Maxwell (36:49)
- Transparency Builds Trust: True closeness with a team comes from sharing strengths and weaknesses (38:50).
10. Guardrails on Failure: Avoiding Complacency
- Failure Should Move You: “When we become comfortable with failure, we’re in trouble. Failure is your friend not because you had the failure; it’s your friend because it says, you better change something.” — John Maxwell (40:03)
- Awareness and Adjustment: Failure treated properly brings awareness and the catalyst for positive change; treated incorrectly, it produces victimhood and excuses (41:00).
11. The Biblical Perspective on Failure
- The Bible Is Real About Failure: Scripture does not hide failure; only Joseph and Nehemiah are shown without major flaws (41:22-41:51).
- “God doesn’t fix us to change us. He changes us to fix us. There’s a lot of difference between those two.” — John Maxwell (45:09)
12. Success for Others, Not Just Yourself
- Multiplying Wins: “I want more for you than I want from you.” — John Maxwell (46:25)
- Shared Success Is Greater: “If I win, it’s only one. If they win, it’s a whole bunch.” (47:36).
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
On Ego and Failure:
"Until you get over yourself, you're never going to be a high successful person, because it's not about me."
— John Maxwell (07:44) -
On Game vs. Bleachers:
"Do you want to get in the game and fail or do you want to sit in the bleachers and fail?"
— John Maxwell (08:28) -
On Balancing Success and Failure:
"You separate them and you lose humility and you lose resiliency. You put them together—now all of a sudden, it's a beautiful thing..."
— John Maxwell (15:23) -
On Good Miss vs. Bad Miss:
"A good miss is still a miss, but you got a little closer. A bad miss, you got a little farther...a good miss is when I make adjustments...a bad miss is when I make excuses."
— John Maxwell (26:10, 27:12) -
On Sharing Failure:
"When successful people talk about their failures, then failure gets tagged with successful people...When you talk about failure, you encourage people, especially when you're a successful failure."
— John Maxwell (30:38, 31:54) -
On Leadership and Vulnerability:
"When I admit my failures, I get in touch with my humanity...it's good for me, but it's also good for the other person."
— John Maxwell (36:49) -
On Not Arriving:
"There's something very appealing of never having arrived. That it's a journey and it's not a destination."
— John Maxwell (20:38) -
On God and Grace:
"God doesn't fix us to change us. He changes us to fix us. There's a lot of difference between those two."
— John Maxwell (45:09)
Timestamps for Important Segments
- 04:10: Maxwell reframes failure as a potential asset
- 07:44: Ego and the importance of “getting over yourself”
- 08:28: Game vs. Bleachers—get in the arena!
- 13:40: Every significant success story includes a failure
- 14:23–15:23: Why success and failure must be kept together
- 19:47–20:53: “Never going to get there” is appealing; learning as a life journey
- 26:10: The distinction between a good miss and a bad miss
- 30:38–31:54: The critical power of leaders openly discussing their failures
- 36:49: Authentic leadership—why acknowledging mistakes matters
- 40:03: Setting guardrails: why failure should prompt change, not complacency
- 41:22–41:54: The biblical view: God’s grace and redemptive failure
- 46:25–47:36: Maxwell’s philosophy: wanting more for others than from them
Final Thoughts & Takeaways
The episode offers an honest, nuanced, and practical roadmap for anyone navigating failure on their journey to meaningful success. John Maxwell’s wisdom points listeners toward reframing setbacks, cultivating humility and resilience, and leading with authenticity—both for themselves and others. Ultimately, success is not the absence of failure but learning how to extract deep returns from every miss along the way.
Book Mentioned:
How to Get a Return on Failure: Fail Smarter, Return Stronger by John Maxwell
Recommendation:
Share this episode with anyone—especially young professionals, leaders, or anyone battling fear of failure—who needs encouragement and actionable insight on turning setbacks into setups for growth.