Transcript
Ed Mylett (0:00)
So hey guys, listen. We're all trying to get more productive and the question is, how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth based environment that you're much more likely to grow and you're going to grow faster. And that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Burchard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down growthday.com forward/ed. So if you want to be more productive, by the way, he's asked me, I post videos in there every single Monday that gets your day off to the right start. He's got about 5,000, $10,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with the app. Also, some of the top influencers in the world are all posting content in there on a regular basis, like having the avengers of personal development and business in one app. And I'm honored that he asked me to be a part of it as well and contribute on a weekly basis. And I do. So go over there and get signed up. You're going to get a free tuition, free voucher to go to an event with Brendan and myself and a bunch of other influencers as well. So you get a free event out of it also. So go to growthday.com that's growthday.com Ed.
Brendan Burchard (1:02)
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart Choice. Progressive loves to help people make smart choices. That's why they offer a tool called Auto Quote Explorer that allows you to compare your Progressive car insurance quote with rates from other companies so you save time on the research and can enjoy savings when you choose the best rate for you. Give it a try after this episode@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy.
Ed Mylett (1:49)
This is the Ed Miler Show.
Ed Mylett (1:53)
Hey everyone. Welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way.
Michael Chandler (2:04)
Today we're going to talk about how to build unlimited self confidence. And the reason that I'm covering this topic today is probably more than any other topic. I've been getting asked lately about the struggles people are going through with self doubt, not believing in themselves, negative thoughts about themselves. And I believe the solution to self doubt is to build Something bigger than that doubt, which is to build our self confidence. And one thing to know about the fact that you doubt yourself is one. I struggle with it as well. One of the reasons I've had to go learn to build all these tools for myself is because in my life, my baseball career, my academic career, my business career, my speaking career, I've been riddled with self doubt that creeps up all the time in our lives. Am I enough? Am I good enough? Do I deserve this? Is this something that's part of my destiny? Should I be doing this? And if you're a religious person, I believe the adversary. If you believe in the adversary, I believe the adversary's greatest tool that he could use against you to get you to lose in your life is to get you discouraged and doubting. These are two of the most chaotic things that the adversary can do to us or that we do to ourselves in our own minds is to get ourselves doubting, to get ourselves discouraged. Because you can't win when you doubt and you can't win when you're discouraged. What I found out though about self doubt is that you don't overcome it. You build something bigger than it, which means you build your self confidence. And the greater and greater self confidence get, it minimizes the impact self doubt has on us. Now, now why is that so important? It's important because you have to understand one thing about the doubts and the negative thoughts you have about yourself. As hard as this is to accept, these are not your thoughts. You weren't born doubting, you weren't born discouraged. You weren't born thinking negative things about yourself. Those were thoughts that were placed in you and given to you by an external source at some time in your life. It could even be our parents. Don't do that. Be quiet. Sit down. Be a good boy. Be a good girl. Maybe it was criticism you received as a little one that you may not even remember to this day. It could have been a school teacher, it could have been ridicule at school from other children. But when you were young, in your formative years, these negative thoughts about yourself were planted in you by an external source that's so powerful to understand. Because these things you think you believe about yourself that have become really true to you, you don't even really believe they were not your original thoughts. But the power of belief is so incredible in our lives, it's so insidious. Because when we have a belief about something, even if it was given to us by somebody else, our mind goes to work on Proving to us that this belief is true. A belief is almost like this table right here, just the top. Once we get it and what our mind tries to do is it tries to build legs under the table to reinforce that belief. So if somebody told you you weren't enough, or you weren't smart enough or pretty enough, or fast enough, or strong, or you don't come from the right place, or you're not in the right culture, the right race, the right religion, the right height, the right IQ as a young person, or you were put down and these beliefs were given to you, what happens is your mind tries to prove beliefs true so it finds references. So once you think it, your mind finds an example of your life where you weren't enough, another one where you weren't enough, you weren't smart enough, you weren't pretty enough, you weren't handsome enough, you weren't strong enough. And it finds these references and it builds like a leg and multiple legs on the table and pretty soon you can move it and it's stuck in there as a firm belief. That's why we have to guard our beliefs so preciously, because our mind goes to work on finding these legs, these references, which are real experiences in our life to prove to us that that belief is true. And so although you may believe it to be true about you, these doubts and negative thoughts you have, these were not your original thoughts. That's a powerful thing to understand because you weren't born this way. You weren't born doubting, you were born perfect. You were born believing you were to do something great. You were born happy, you were born believing were going to do something special with your life as a baby. I promise you, you had no negative self talk, you had no negative self doubt. These are external sources so important to know because those thoughts aren't really who you are. They're somebody else's thoughts they gave you because of how they felt about themselves. And so today we're going to talk about how to build self confidence and how to eliminate self doubt. So how do we build the self confidence? The process of building self confidence is actually very easy. Believe it or not, self confidence is self trust. Self confidence is building a reputation with yourself that you keep your word to you, that you keep the promises you make to you. When I meet somebody who has a ton of self confidence, I don't look at that as somebody with a big ego. There's a difference. Somebody with self confidence has a reputation with themselves that I do the things I say. I'm going to do. That's where self confidence comes from. When I meet someone who's not self confident, I know this is someone who has consistently made promises to themselves they've not kept. They've started a diet and done it for a while, but not kept it. They've made a commitment and goals to go make a certain amount of money in business and they started down the road, but then they didn't deliver on it long term to get up at a certain time in the morning and then they don't do it. And so they have a process and a habit in their life more often than not of not keeping the promises they don't make to other people. They don't keep the promises they make to themselves. And so the cool thing is self confidence is an internal game. You do not need external accolades, external admiration in order to build self confidence. You don't need any of those external forces. It's all done internally. You control this and you control this by beginning today to keep the promises you make to yourself. And you have to stack the deck in your favor, stack the game so you win. It's not good enough just to keep the promises you make to yourself. You must acknowledge it when you do it to you to give yourself credit, to create confidence. Momentum is what I call it. So whether that's setting the deck where you're going to get up a little bit earlier, you're going to make a certain amount of phone calls, you misses a certain amount of appointments, you're going to eat a certain amount of calories in your fitness, you're going to spend a certain amount of time with your children or your parents and you begin to do these things you say you're going to do. You say simple things like I'm going to lay out my clothes the night before I go to bed, every night before I go to sleep. So when I wake up, that decision is made for me. And believe it or not, the fact that you just do something that simple, that you then deliver on begins to build confidence. You say, I'm going to stretch in the morning when I get up and you do it, all of a sudden I'm not going to check my phone for 30 minutes. All these habits I teach, when you just begin to do the things you tell yourself you're going to do, you begin to build self confidence, which is this reputation with yourself. So ask yourself a question right now, what is one thing right now, one promise I can make to myself that I'm going to begin to keep starting this minute and begin to do it. It could be how often I'm going to pick up a book and read it. But you begin to stack things, you commit to do and then you deliver on them and you acknowledge them to yourself. You're in the process of building self confidence. Why is that so important? Of all the athletes I coach, well, my athletes are performing at their peak level. They're at their highest self confidence level. In fact, I love when I watch some of the athletes I coach get interviewed and they kind of do this aw shucks, humble routine in their post game interviews. Yeah, you know, just part of the team. You know, I got a lot, I could have done a lot better today, but inside I know these people are incredibly self confident people. Any of you athletes listening to this, you know this. The great athletes, you know have incredible amounts of self confidence. You have to believe in you. When it's a battle, when you're a hitter against a pitcher or when you're a quarterback against a defense, or you're a defenseman in the NHL against their best offensive player, or you're a golfer and you have to make a nine foot putt to win a tournament.
