Maxout Your Mind Masterclass Ep. 10 | Your Future Isn’t Found. It’s Designed

Summary

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THE ED MYLETT SHOW – Maxout Your Mind Masterclass Ep. 10

“Your Future Isn’t Found. It’s Designed”

Release Date: December 23, 2025
Host: Ed Mylett

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Episode Overview

In this special episode—the final lesson of the “Maxout Your Mind” masterclass—Ed Mylett focuses on how to reinvent and intentionally design your life. He explores the dual themes of invention (creating something new) and reinvention (transforming yourself so dramatically that you become unrecognizably new). Ed challenges listeners to break out of autopilot, become co-authors of their destinies, and harness powerful emotions like happiness, fulfillment, and vulnerability to unlock their greatest potential in 2026 and beyond.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Inventing vs. Reinventing Your Life

• Inventing: Designing something that has never existed in your life.
• Reinventing: Changing so much that you become "entirely new."
• Quote: “You and God co-author all of the chapters of your life. At any given time, you can grab a pen, a new pen, and just decide you're going to design a new chapter…” — Ed Mylett [02:08]
• Ed urges listeners to frequently pause and audit their lives, to design intentionally—especially since “we think we have forever, but what if you don’t?”

2. The Power of Choice and Faith

• You can actively choose and co-author your next chapter with God, thanks to free will.
• Key Reflection: “When’s the last time you gave yourself the gift of, ‘What do I want my life to look like?’ And am I truly one of the designers of that life?” — [03:31]

3. Asking the Right Questions

• Ed provides a series of probing, design-oriented questions:
  • What emotions do you want to feel daily?
  • What achievements, relationships, or experiences do you seek?
  • Where would you like to live, and what matters most to you?
• “Dreaming is free, doesn’t cost you anything. Yet so few people give themselves the gift of just dreaming again…” — [04:53]

4. Destiny vs. Design

• Some things are out of your control (illness, genetics), but many aspects—health, habits, relationships—are open to intentional design.

5. The Importance of a Compelling Future

• While “being present” is valuable, having a compelling future is critical for motivation and happiness.
• “You ever have a morning where you wake up, and you know that night you’ve got something cool you’re going to do…doesn’t that expectation…help you get through the morning?” — [06:33]
• Progress—not just achieving, but moving toward something—is power.

6. Dopamine, Achievement, & Progress

• Science shows the brain’s biggest “pleasure chemical” dopamine rush comes during progress toward a goal, not at the achievement itself.
• “There’s all this data…that in the pursuit of your goal, in the progress towards something you want, you have a greater hit of dopamine…than when you actually achieve it.” — [08:24]
• Stagnation leads to dissatisfaction—growth must be constant.

7. Try New Things, Audit Old Dreams

• Ed challenges listeners to pick up new hobbies, interests, or passions:
  • Dedicate three hours a week for a year, and you can be in the top 5% of the world at that thing.
• “Most people don’t get creative at all. Most people don’t change things at all. They don’t design things at all.” — [09:58]

8. Nature’s Model—Reinvention is Constant

• Just like the body (cells, lungs, skin) continually regenerates, our minds and spirits should, too.
• “Your lung tissue is redesigning itself on a very regular basis. So should your spirit, so should your mind.” — [10:42]

9. Intent, Focus, and Manifestation

• Focused intention not only changes you, but begins to attract desired outcomes into your life.
• Warning: “You actually have to start to really be careful about what you think about, because you’re going to draw that into your life as well.” — [11:44]
• Increase your “vibrational frequency” through intention and progress.

10. Creating Stillness & Anchoring in Motion

• “Create in stillness. Trigger and anchor in motion.” — [13:10]
  • Get quiet, listen to your spirit/God, design your new chapter in peace.
  • Then, act. Anchor your designs in real-life motion.

11. Constant and Never-Ending Improvement (CAN I)

• “KANAI – C-A-N-I: Constant And Never-ending Improvement.” — [15:22]
• The happiest people are always simultaneously present and striving for future reinvention.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Quote / Moment | Attribution | |-----------|----------------|-------------| | 02:08 | “You and God co-author all of the chapters of your life. At any given time, you can grab a pen, a new pen, and just decide you're going to design a new chapter…” | Ed Mylett | | 04:53 | “Dreaming is free, doesn’t cost you anything. Yet so few people give themselves the gift of just dreaming again…” | Ed Mylett | | 06:33 | “You ever have a morning where you wake up, and you know that night you’ve got something cool you’re going to do…doesn’t that expectation…help you get through the morning?” | Ed Mylett | | 08:24 | “There’s all this data…that in the pursuit of your goal…you have a greater hit of dopamine…than when you actually achieve it.” | Ed Mylett | | 11:44 | “…you actually have to start to really be careful about what you think about, because you’re going to draw that into your life as well.” | Ed Mylett | | 13:10 | “Create in stillness. Trigger and anchor in motion.” | Ed Mylett | | 15:22 | “K-A-N-I, Constant and never ending improvement.” | Ed Mylett |

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[17:18] Segment – Happiness vs. Fulfillment

12. The Concept of Blissful Dissatisfaction

• Don’t delay happiness until reaching a goal.
• “Achievers…think, man, if I enjoy this too much, I'll lose my drive completely. Not true at all.” — [20:44]
• “The more blissful you are, the more driven you are. Your brain gets this hit of dopamine and you want more and more of it.” — [21:00]

13. Loving Yourself & Authenticity

• Self-love requires being true to yourself and your values.
• Treat yourself and let others treat you as worthy.

14. The Power of Gratitude

• Regular small gratitude (health, family) sparks more happiness.
• “You are perfect in this moment. How I know you're perfect because you've produced the moment you're in…” — [24:00]

15. Balance: Self-Acceptance and Drive to Improve

• You’re “perfect for this moment,” but self-awareness means not settling—aim for more while loving yourself now.

16. The Courage of Vulnerability

• Vulnerability = confidence and taking risks. It deepens relationships, accelerates progress, and multiplies fulfillment.
• “Vulnerability is one of the most incredible qualities a person can have, because, ironically, to be vulnerable, you must have confidence.” — [28:32]

17. Happiness vs. Fulfillment

• Material things bring happiness, but not fulfillment, which is deeper and longer-lasting.
• “…Material things, living ocean front, having jets, having Ferraris or Rolls Royces, they can make you happy short term, but they will not fulfill you.” — [33:10]
• You must “bring you with you” everywhere—if you’re not fulfilled without material things, you won’t be with them.

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[35:46] Segment – The Quality of Your Emotions

18. Emotions Dictate the Caliber of Your Life

• Ed recommends frequent self-inventories: what emotions do you experience most?
• “The caliber of your life is literally linked to the caliber of emotions you experience on a regular basis.” — [35:46]

19. Intentional Emotion Seeking

• Make a conscious list of emotions you want more of (joy, fulfillment, peace, passion).
• Chase those emotions intentionally, rather than drifting passively.

20. Pathway to Fulfillment: Service & Contribution

• “The pathway to fulfillment is by contributing to other people. Chasing your passion and your purpose in the service of other people leads to fulfillment.” — [37:51]

21. The 10 Pathways to Positive Emotions

1. Be Unique – “The opposite of bravery is to conform.”
2. Be Love – Show more love; it multiplies.
3. Be Truth – Always honor your truth.
4. Be Kind – Kindness is rare and transformative.
5. Be Beautiful – Accept and celebrate your current beauty.
6. Be Moving – Movement creates positive states and emotions.
7. Be Growing – Growth staves off negative emotions.
8. Be Silly/Playful – Re-ignite childlike joy and enthusiasm.
9. Be Forgiving – Forgiveness unblocks fulfillment and peace.
10. Be Courageous – Courage unlocks the best emotions.

• “The happiest people have more childlike emotions, more childlike enthusiasm.” — [40:48]
• “Forgive people. It will set you free and open you up to all the positive emotions in your life.” — [41:41]
• “Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is taking action in the presence of fear.” — [42:32]

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Recap & Ed’s Final Words

• Happiness is fleeting, fulfillment is lasting. Seek both.
• Reinvent your life continuously; become co-author, not bystander.
• Anchor your goals and emotions through action and self-inquiry.
• “You were born to do something great with your life…You are most qualified in life to help the person that you used to be.” — [15:57]
• “My prayer is that it’s helped you and made an impact in your life.” — Ed Mylett [44:10]

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Useful Timestamps

• [01:27] – Maxout Your Mind masterclass final lesson intro
• [02:00] – Invention vs. reinvention explained
• [04:02] – Powerful life design questions to ask yourself
• [06:03] – Importance of having a compelling future
• [08:24] – Dopamine and the science of progress
• [09:53] – “Three hours a week for a year” rule for new skills
• [10:34] – Nature’s lesson: continual reinvention is natural
• [13:10] – “Create in stillness, anchor in motion”
• [15:22] – CANI: Constant and never-ending improvement
• [17:18] – Segment on happiness and fulfillment
• [21:00] – Blissful dissatisfaction and the myth about happiness/killing drive
• [24:00] – Self-love, acceptance, and worthiness
• [28:32] – Vulnerability as the gateway to abundance
• [33:10] – Material happiness vs. true fulfillment
• [35:46] – Inventory and intent: mastering your emotions
• [37:51] – Service: the true pathway to fulfillment
• [38:42] – Ed’s 10 ways of being for positive emotions
• [44:16] – Ed’s sign-off: continue your journey, serve others, seek transformation

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Action Steps from Ed

• Regularly audit and design your life—don’t live default patterns.
• Define and pursue the emotions you want most.
• Anchor yourself in gratitude, vulnerability, forgiveness, and courage.
• Constantly seek growth—try new things, and be playful and childlike.
• Chase contribution and service for true fulfillment.
• Remember: “You were born to do something great with your life.”

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Transcript

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[Ed Mylett]

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[Ed Mylett]

Welcome back to the show. So you're going to see a change in the show between now and the end of the year. You know, it's been no secret that I've had a few health issues the.

Last couple of years. Heck, I haven't even posted on social media in a few years.

But we've been coming strong with three podcasts a week even during that time. Well, between now and the end of the year, I'm going to scale it down a little bit, but give more value.

So what I'm going to do is.

I've created a master class that's going.

To come out on Tuesdays and you'll still get your Saturday episodes. We're going to take a pause on.

Thursdays, but every Tuesday, you're going to.

Get a master class for me that.

I've created to help you finish 2025 strong and go into 2026 and make it the best year of your life.

I'm calling this master class Max out your mind.

Faith, focus and fire. Mastering your internal world so you can.

Navigate your external world. It's going to come out every single Tuesday. I think you're going to love it.

All right, guys.

Hey.

This week's the final lesson in this.

Entire masterclass we put together, Maxing out your mind. The max out mindset for 2026. Building the foundation for your best year ever. I hope you enjoy. What we're going to talk about today very briefly is reinventing your life. And I was looking it up. People ask me all the time, ed, can you talk, you know, give us some of the keys about how to reinvent my life. So I looked it up a little bit and I thought, what does invent mean? What's the definition of invent? And the definition of invent is to create or design something that has not existed before. And so what we're really talking about today is creating something, but more importantly, designing things in Your life that have never existed before. And then I looked up reinvent, like, is there a difference between invention and reinvention? And reinvent talks about changing something so much so that it appears to be entirely new. So today is really about two things. It's about inventing or designing something new in our life and taking control of the design of our life and changing something, right? So it's about designing and changing. That's how we invent and reinvent things in our life. So when's the last time that you just gave yourself the gift of taking a look at your life and designing it? Now, as a person of faith, I believe that you're the co author of your life. You and God co author all of the chapters of your life. And at any given time, you can grab a pen, a new pen, and just decide you're going to design a new chapter of your life and a new difference in your life, a new direction in your life. But when's the last time you actually asked yourself, if I want to do that, what are the things I want to change about my experience? You know, recently I've had some very good friends pass away at very young ages. My friend Jesse Lee Ward passed away at 34 years old. And I just think sometimes we think we have forever to get around to designing our life to be the one that we want, or we have forever to change things. But what if you don't have forever? What if that needs to start right now, like this second, as you're listening to me or watching me today, start to ask yourself the questions that matter. When's the last time you gave yourself the gift of what do I want my life to look like? And am I truly one of the designers of that life? Do I have any input, any control over it? And I'll tell you that I believe you do. I believe God gives you free choice and free will in your life. You do have free will. You do have choice. You do have input along with God's blessings in your life. And so ask yourself this question just as we begin today.

What do you want it to look like?

So specifically, what do you want to feel in your life? What are the emotions you want to experience more of going forward? What would you like to experience? What achievements and accomplishments do you want to have in your life? What relationships do you want?

What do you want to look like? Where do you want to live? What do you want to drive? How do you want to feel?

What do you want to have matter to you? First thing, when you wake up in the morning, what would you like to feel in the morning? Have you ever asked yourself that, like.

Right when I wake up, what do.

I want to feel?

Do I want to feel excited and grateful and proud and looking forward to my life? Or do I want to wake up and feel worried and angst or boredom or stress?

What do you want to feel?

When's the last time you took control over that? How would you like to spend the hours of your life? Where would you like to retire someday?

What are the things you want to.

Do for other people? Just begin to ask yourself and take an inventory of these questions. It's such a great gift, you know. Dreaming is free, doesn't cost you anything. Yet so few people give themselves the gift of just dreaming again, just designing again, just creating again this idea that some of you would dispute whether or not you have any control over the design of your life, you have to.

Look no further than your own body.

Is it God's will that you're 50.

Pounds overweight or not strong? Is that God's will? Or do you have some choice over.

What your body looks like?

Of course you do.

You have choice over the food you.

Put in your body. You have choice over the working out you do or don't do, the cardio you do or don't do. The disciplines that you have now. Are there things out of your control? Could you get a disease? Could there be a genetic issue in your life? Yes, but. So there's this balance between destiny and design. But all we can do in our life is pray in our lives that we have some insights into the direction and the destiny that we should be pursuing. But at the same time, we should take control over all of the things that we can design, that we can change.

So how do you want to live?

Who and what do you want around you? Begin to ask yourself this, and I'm going to recommend a few things to you. You know, there's this notion in personal development that I talk about a lot too, which is to be fully present. You hear that a lot, don't you? Be present. Be in the moment. Live in the moment. Find more presence. Don't worry so much about the past and don't look into the future so much. And there's a lot of validity to that. But I'm going to say something that if you're going to reinvent your life, one of the things that you have to do is to have a compelling future. You ever have a morning where you.

Wake up and you know that night.

You'Ve Got something cool you're going to do, like you're going to have a dinner with a great friend or a romantic evening with a loved one, or.

You'Re going to go to a ball.

Game or a concert or a comedy show, or see a movie you've wanted to see. Doesn't that expectation that looking forward help you get through the morning? Doesn't it? Of course it does. Or if you've ever been about to have a family and if you're a woman, you're pregnant, or if you're a husband, your spouse is pregnant, that looking forward to something. I think human beings need to live in the present. But this notion that you should have no forward projecting of what you're looking to have in the future is someone who's going to have a formula for not being very happy. I think human beings need something to look forward to, even in your faith life. Like if you, if you want to break that down, if we're going to get really honest, you know, part of whatever your faith is, whether you're a Christian or a Muslim, or you're of Jewish descent, whatever your faith might be, isn't part of that faith the promise of the future in heaven or paradise, that you have something to look forward to beyond where you are? Of course it is, of course that exists. And so a human being needs to live fully present. Yes, but it also has something they look forward to that they're working towards. The other thing is that progress is power. That you find me a human being who may not be where they want to be, but they feel like they're making progress in getting there. I'll show you somebody pretty happy. So I think the first step is to ask yourself, what do I want to design and what do I need to change? But then the next thing is progress, to look forward to something and be making progress. There's all this data now that they studies the brain about dopamine, which is our pleasure chemical that essentially says this, that in the pursuit of your goal, in the making the progress towards something that you want, that you have a greater hit of dopamine in the brain, much higher levels than when you actually achieve it in the present moment, that.

Actually there's a crash of dopamine that.

Happens after the achievement that falls off the plat, that falls off the earth.

It just goes away.

And so this pursuit, this idea of progress, of growth in our life is such a requirement to peace and happiness and bliss.

So yes, be in the present, but.

You better be making progress towards something. Because that's when you're getting all the dopamine and you got to be growing and changing. And here's the thing about growth and change. I want to say something to you. Human beings underestimate their capacity to get good at something that they get fully intentional and immersed in. I mean, they begin to dedicate a full focus in something. Human beings have an amazing capacity over even a short window of time, like a year. And getting great at something they were no longer great when they get completely committed and dedicated to towards it. So one of the things I want to recommend to reinvent your life is not only things in your career that you want. Benchmarks, achievements, give yourself the gift of all of that. But what's something new you could try? And then at some point we just get into our life, don't we? And now there's not as much progress.

There'S not as much growth, there's not.

As much change, there's not as much designing. Listen to me. Anything you want to get great at.

That you become fully passionate about and.

Fully committed to and dedicate a lot of time to, you will get great at. There's this study out that's out right now, that a human being who picks up a new hobby, who dedicates three hours a week to it for a year, regardless of what the hobby is.

Finds themselves in the top 5% in.

The world in that hobby within one year.

Because most people dabble, most people don't do anything. Most people don't get creative at all. Most people don't change things at all. They don't design things at all. So this is how you reinvent your life. Try some new stuff, get a new design, get a new dream. Recal, Check in with yourself, do an audit. Is my old dream still my dream? Is this thing I thought I wanted, what I want anymore as I get closer to it or further from it, or I have it, is it what I thought I wanted? Is this progress still juicing me? Or is it time for a new design, time for a new change? Time to reinvent or invent yourself. You should be.

Listen to me.

All of the structures of your body.

Are being reborn all the time. You could look, you can Google it.

Your lung tissue is redesigning itself on.

A very regular basis.

So are your bones, your skeletal tissue, your cellular structure is reborn on a very regular basis. So should your spirit, so should your mind. It's nature for it to be reborn. The lung tissue you currently breathe with will not be the same tissue. It'll be literally Totally different a few years from now. Same with your digestive tract. Same with your skeleton. It remakes itself. Same with your skin. Same with your cells. The body sheds the old and reinvents the new. It redesigns itself. It recalibrates itself. It changes itself. This is nature. But it's not nature to do it in our mind. It's not nature to do it in our spirit. Take an inventory. Take an audit. What things that I used to want, I don't want anymore. I don't want them. What progress do I need? So I'm getting that dopamine hit, and then the more I achieve it, my vibrational frequency picks up. It's a muscle I build. And all of a sudden, you know the scary thing?

Those of us that are listening to this, they're watching this, that know that what I'm saying is 100% true.

You can increase your vibrational frequency so.

High when you start drawing things into your life that you want, that you.

Actually have to start to really be careful about what you think about, because.

You'Re going to draw that into your life as well.

A lot of people right now listening.

To us that have been achievers or have had good things happen, go, he's right, because it is a muscle.

I got to the point in my.

Life many times where the things I thought about, that I reinvented, that I focused on, that I got intentional about.

I drew them into my life. And I got so good at doing.

It that I had to start to be careful that I didn't start to focus on my problems and my worries and my fears. Because I got so good at drawing.

What I thought about into my life.

I started to draw right to me my fears and worries because you increase your vibrational frequency.

So again, I can talk about energy.

And vibrational frequency and not understand that there's a blessing. Not understand that there's a grand design for our life.

Not understand that you can have all.

The best plans in the world and.

God still has his hand on your life.

Now back to this. You underestimate the power of what you could be doing if you were fully focused on something just even in one year.

Remember that someone who dedicates three hours.

To a new hobby or business or routine within one year is in the top five percentile in that in one year. See, the older we get, the more we don't want to look bad.

The more we become a collection of.

Patterns and behaviors and thoughts, and our life just sort of goes on repeat. We drive on the freeway and we don't even need to think about the exit we get off of anymore. It's so autopilot. We just do it and we're at the house and then you go, how'd you get home today? And you don't even remember. I don't want to get home to heaven someday and not have anything to remember in my life. And metaphorically and literally in many people's lives, they're just now going through the patterns and the emotions. They do the same five or six things with the same five or six people and wonder why they're not happy because they haven't reinvented anything. So pick a new business, pick a new hobby, pick a new interest. Start painting, start listening to different music, start doing something to just reinvent you. Because guess what? As I said earlier, you're being reinvented all the time on the inside. Digestive tract, lung tissue, your organs, your bones, your cells. What about your spirit? What about your mind? Now, how do I change this? Ed, here's one of the things I found out. Watch this. Create in stillness. Trigger and anchor in motion. So let me tell you what I mean by that. Get still. Get quiet. Listen to your spirit. Let your intuition begin to speak to you. In my case, let God begin to speak to you. Get very quiet. Get very still. Give yourself the gift of some meditation time or some quiet time or some alone time. And I think you'll begin to hear things and feel things that were always there. But the world's too noisy around you and you're too caught up in your patterns to do anything about it. There's this great saying that says the average person dies at 25. We just don't get around to burying them and putting them in the ground until they're 75 or 80. Don't be that person anymore. You can be reborn and become alive again today. So get quiet and ask yourself these questions. And then once you start to get some of those answers, you trigger and anchor them in motion. Because life is physical. These are some of the things that I believe can help you reinvent your life. This is a never ending process. When I was young, I got taught this process called Kanai C A N I Constant and never ending improvement. Constant and never ending improvement. C A N I Constant and never ending improvement. And what I'm here to tell you is that this is a constant and never ending process in your life. And the happiest people that I've meet in my life are constantly and never ending improving. So although they're fully present they are also working hard on their future, reinventing their future, inventing and changing things, co authoring their life with their God. And I'd recommend you do these things today to reinvent your life. I'm gonna remind you of something. This is just part of the pie, by the way, part of the puzzle. You were born to do something great with your life. Maybe you've heard me say that before, but maybe you never have and maybe no one's told you in a while. But I want to tell you, you were born. You were made to do something great with your life. And if you're having a hard time picturing what these things are that you want to do, it probably involves serving other people. It probably involves experiencing things with other people. And you were born to help those people in big ways and small ways. You're most qualified in life to help the person that you used to be.

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[Ed Mylett]

To be Today's topic's the most important one we could possibly cover. We're going to talk about happiness and fulfillment today because I think we can forget often, you know, when we cover all these strategies on the program, between fitness and family, spirituality, finances, business, the end game is to be happier. That's what we're all after. And beyond happiness, a level past happiness is fulfillment. And so I want to share some ideas with you today that aren't covered all the time on other programs and that I don't talk about often enough either. And so we're gonna talk about getting happier. Would you like to cover that? Would you like some ideas, some concepts and maybe past that, some fulfillment in our lives and more of it, more abundance of those two areas. And so in my book, in Max out yout Life, in my recent book, I cover something that is something I'm very dedicated to, which is living with blissful dissatisfaction. And that's a concept that sounds foreign to many people, blissful dissatisfaction. And so I want to talk about what that means because I think that that's the pathway to happiness and fulfillment. See, many people delay their happiness until a particular destination, a particular time. They cheat themselves from happiness now. And there's two types of people that do it. And maybe you can relate to this. And they also confuse happiness and satisfaction. Those are different emotions. And remember this, the quality of our life is made up by the quality of our emotions. And our emotions come from meaning. So it's not the events of our life that define us, it's the meaning we attach to those events. Because meanings give us emotions. And emotions literally create a different blood chemistry in our body. They literally alter us. So the quality of our life is the quality of our emotions. Those emotions come from meanings and those meanings are what we attach to events. So the key to a happier life, the pathway, is not the different events of our lives that happen to us. It's the meaning we attach to those events. And so do the meaning we give to events. Serve us or not serve us. You need to begin to ask yourself that in your life. And so I'm after, and I want you to be after, blissful dissatisfaction. Because that's the formula for happiness and fulfillment. That's where the science and art form of achievement comes, comes together so that you can be happy as you achieve. And so what happens is people confuse happiness and satisfaction. You can be dissatisfied and still happy. In other words, seeking more abundance, seeking more of something, but simultaneously enjoying the journey, enjoying the process. So there's two types of flawed thinking that I see in that realm. First is the achievers. All you achievers listening to it. You think, boy, if I enjoy this right now, I'm going to lose my mojo. I'm going to lose my drive, I'm going to lose my ambition. I, you know, part of your recipe, your formula, all your life has kind of been, I always leave a little happiness in reserve so that I stay driven. Because total happiness means I'm laying on a beach all day long, right, with no drive and no ambition. Because we've all seen people like that. That's not total happiness. I can promise you that people in their life that are laying around Golfing seven days a week, laying on a beach every single day, are not as fulfilled as they could be if they were chasing something that they believed in, if they were contributing, if they were making a difference in the world at their maxed out level. And so don't confuse those people for the most happy and fulfilled they're not. But what happens is achievers think, man, if I enjoy this too much, I'll lose my drive completely. Not true at all. The best analogy that I give in the book about that is if you've ever bitten into a delicious piece of food, if you're a meat eater, a steak, if you're a vegan, you know the best, I don't know, lettuce wrap you've ever had in your life, right? And you bite into that and it's just so delicious. It's blissful, right? Does that bliss cause you to be less desirous of the next bite? Think about that steak, you meat eaters, right?

No.

It makes you want to have another one, right? So there's actually a correlation that's between blissfulness and drive. In other words, the more blissful you are, the more driven you are. Your brain gets this hit of dopamine and you want more and more of it. What happens though, over time, if you're an achiever, is if you cheat yourself out of enjoyment and celebration during the journey, during your victories, slowly but surely you get what we call burnout. And what burnout is, is that you never get a dopamine hit in your brain, you never enjoy it, and eventually you just go, I don't want to try that hard next time. I don't want to achieve again. It's not worth it. I don't get from it what I thought I would. That's the definition of burnout, is that we stop enjoying something to the point where we don't want to do the work anymore. So it's a very dangerous recipe to, for those of you that are achieving, to cheat yourself out of enjoying and celebrating. And in fact you'll eventually burn out on it. So do not do that. You've made a mistake in doing so. In fact, there's a correlation between enjoying it and wanting more of it. I can promise you that the more dopamine you get, the more you enjoy it, the more your brain will chase the next victory, the next level, et cetera, et cetera. So that is a misnomer that somehow enjoyment steals drive. It does not. In fact, it feels feeds it, just like biting into that lettuce Wrap or biting into that steak, it will give you more and more of it and you'll seek more of it. The second type of person says, well, I'm delaying my happiness until I get something. I'll be happy when. Many of you can relate to this. I'll be happy when I find the perfect relationship. I'll be happy when I get my dream house, when I get my promotion, when I get a certain amount of money. And they delay the happiness level until a destination in the future. The challenge with that, listen to me on this is you have to bring you with you to that destination. And if you can't be happy now, if you can't find a way to love yourself and be happy now, I can promise you, you will not love yourself at that next destination. I have many, many friends who are at the destinations you think you want to get to in that dream home, at that dream income with the dream amount of money, the dream car, the dream jet. And they're no more happy than they were prior to having it because they didn't learn the tools of loving themselves now, believing in themselves now both of those are flawed thinking. A great life is someone who lives blissfully now and stays in a state of dissatisfaction and drive. So I want to talk to you about how to do that. You know, one of the things I think that's important to start out by saying is you cannot love yourself if you're not being yourself. You cannot believe in yourself if you're not being yourself. So the first step towards really enjoying happiness now, believing in yourself and loving yourself now is truly being yourself. What do I mean by that? The first step is being proud of you, acting in congruency with your standards, with your values and your character and your beliefs. The more and more you do that, the minute you begin to step away yourself by behaving in a way that's not congruent with your faith, congruent with your character, congruent with your values. The more and more you lose a little bit of yourself, the more you can't love yourself, the more you can't believe in yourself. That first step to self love, to enjoying you and your own company, is truly being yourself. The other side of that is by how other people treat you and more importantly, how you let other people treat you. See, you teach people how to treat you in your life and oftentimes we begin to lose ourselves as people treat us less than we're worthy of our co workers, our spouses, our boyfriend or girlfriend, our friends, strangers. We allow we subject ourselves to treatment that is less than who we really are. And we begin to lose ourselves in that and therefore lose the love for ourselves and the belief in ourselves. So you teach people how to treat you, begin to tell yourself that, begin to demand other people understand that about you. When you're treated in a way that is not reflective of who you are, let people know that it is not acceptable, right? Treat yourself first in a way that is acceptable. Believe in yourself, love yourself, message yourself the right things, act in accordance with your values, and you're going to begin to see more bliss in your life. Clearly, everybody talks all the time about gratitude. But if you can be grateful for the smallest possible things in your life, you just waking up in the morning, I spent the morning today at a children's hospital that I spend some time at regularly. And I can tell you that you ought to just be grateful that you're healthy. If you are, man, I'm telling you, you should be grateful for that. Something baseline like that, or that your children are healthy if they are, God willing, man. What an abundance of gratitude we can find in just the most simple things in life. And these begin to create bliss and happiness in our life. Now, I said something earlier that you are perfect in this moment. And people confuse this because men and women, you are perfect in this moment. How I know you're perfect because you've produced the moment you're in, right? You've produced this moment you get out of life, which you're deeply convinced of. So right now the hardest thing to accept is the life that you're currently living is the one you think you're worth. It's the one you think you deserve. So you are perfect for the life you have right now. You've produced it. You are getting out of life what you believe you're worth, what you believe you deserve. The way people treat you, the amount of money you have, the way you look, the way you feel is what you think you're worth. That's how it always works. We get out of life what we're deeply convinced of. So the key thing is to begin to become more deeply convinced we're worthy of more, to work on our identities, right? To work on our self worth, our self confidence, because it changes us when we do that. So I want you to think about this just for a second. If that's true, then what are the keys in changing that? Because when I tell you this, I want you to hear this very carefully, very closely, okay? You're going to always get what you're deeply convinced of in your life. And so if I'm perfect for this moment, because you are, you are perfect in this moment. Stop being so hard on yourself, stop beating yourself up. You are perfect in this moment. You've produced this moment, you've produced this life. Now see, there's this balance of accepting you, loving you, believing in you, knowing you're perfect in this moment, but also being self aware, which says I don't want to continually repeat this moment. So although I'm perfect in this one, I don't need any self loathing or self hatred or beating myself up. I'm perfect as I am. However, I don't want to spend the next 20 years in this same moment, in the same reality, with the same life. And so that will require me to change. Because I want to change the moment, I want to change my conditions. I'm perfect as I am now. I accept that I love me. Because if I don't accept me now, I won't accept me later. However, I'm also self aware and I don't want this moment forever, I don't want this life forever. I want to improve it, I want it to be better. That's the dissatisfaction part. That's why you must improve, you must grow so you can love who you are and still have a desire to grow and change. Because you want to produce a new moment, a new reality. Because you're at that time, you're going to get what you expect, your worth as well, what you're deeply convinced of. And so the key thing for me is that we love ourselves in this moment, but we know to change the moment, to change the condition, we must change us. And that's where growth comes in, that's where changing ourselves comes in. And that's why personal life strategies and reading books and working on our identity and listening to audios like this and following the right people on social media, not the wrong ones, the ones who actually have produced a great life, not the ones theorizing because they've got a microphone, but the ones who have actually produced a great existence. And so having said that, let's talk a little bit about how we can change some of those things. I want to suggest an emotion to you that's going to be very risky, but it's not talked about enough. So on social media and all these self help books, you're always going to talk about gratitude and love and self confidence and all of these great values, okay? And strength and all that. And those are all abundant values in life. Okay. There's a secret emotion, though, that's the gateway that can magnify all those other ones, and it's vulnerability. Are you willing to be vulnerable? Vulnerability is one of the most incredible qualities a person can have, because, ironically, to be vulnerable, you must have confidence. Vulnerability means you're willing to accept risk. So in a relationship, the only way to have an abundant, loving relationship is to take risk, is to be vulnerable, is to give yourself all of it. If you're in a relationship and you're only giving yourself 80% of it, 90% of it, you're holding a little bit back. You're afraid to be taking all those risks. You'll never have the abundant love, the abundant connection you think you want to have. If in your fitness, you're holding back 10% because if you gave it all you had, it's a lot of risk there. It's a lot of pain, it's a lot of discomfort. You're not willing to be vulnerable and get weaker as you work out. I can tell you you're cheating yourself out of the abundant physical body you could have in your business if you're in it. And you have a team, let's say.

You believe in your people, but you.

Don'T buy into them altogether because you don't want to get hurt, you don't want to get let down, Right? You're not willing to be vulnerable and take a risk of fully buying in, fully believing in people. Your avoidance of vulnerability will cheat you out of the best business, the best production, the best wealth in your life. And so the reason we avoid vulnerability is risk. Because guess what? People do let us down. People lie to us, they hurt us, they take from us, they disappoint us. And that's all true. So it takes courage to be vulnerable. And on the other side of that vulnerability is more abundant gratitude, more abundant love, more abundant faith, more abundant health, a more abundant relationship. And so the secret that no one talks about is, will you be vulnerable? Will you go all into the relationship, all into the business, all your heart, all your belief, all your dreams, all in knowing you could get let down, knowing you could be disappointed, but knowing that eventually, if you're willing to take those hits, if you're willing to take that rejection that you eventually find, the business, the body, the happiness, the fulfillment in our lives that we seek, if we're not willing to take risk, if we're not willing to be vulnerable, we cheat ourselves out of the abundance of those emotions. It's something never talked about in personal Development, lifestyle. I've learned to build the muscle of vulnerability, to fully engage with people, to fully give myself to a business, to fully give myself to a topic, to fully give myself to an endeavor. Knowing there's risk, knowing I could lose, knowing I could be rejected. But on the other side of that is the greatest of all victories. So I want to challenge you to do that. You know, right now there's an area that you want more abundance in, and you're holding back 1%, you're holding back 2%, you're holding back 20% because you've been let down before, you've been hurt before, you've had a business setback, before, you've had a client let you down, you've had a teammate steal from you, you've had someone in a relationship hurt you. And what happens is then when we find the ultimate business, we sabotage it because we don't think we're worthy of the end result. We sabotage it. We don't give it all we've got. We get to a certain point, we stop doing the work that got us there. So the key thing in life, just like riding that bike, is to keep pedaling. I'm telling you, these are the key things in building blissful dissatisfaction. I'm telling you, the last thing is this. Happiness and fulfillment are separate things.

People say all the time, material things won't make you happy. I can't disagree with that more. In fact, we have all the evidence in the world of knowing that. I'm living here ocean right now. Living by this ocean makes me happy. Right, ladies, if you've ever bought an outfit or a pair of shoes or a car, or any material things you've wanted in your life, you're happy when you buy them. Guys, you ever got that suit you want, or that shirt or whatever it might be material wise, or that watch you wanted, of course it made you happy. The question is not whether it makes you happy. The question is whether it fulfills you. So you need to begin to make a distinction in your life between happiness and fulfillment. Happiness is fleeting. It's short term. I'm not happy every day. I live here, Oceanfront. I've had many unhappy days in this magnificent place. Happiness is conditional. Happiness is fleeting. It comes and goes. And by the way you want it to, if you are happy every single second of your life, the bliss of it wouldn't affect you like it does. We want the ebbs and flows of life. The downs in our life make the highs so much sweeter. I can promise you that you don't want to be happy every single second. What you do want to seek, though, is fulfillment. Material things, living ocean front, having jets, having Ferraris or Rolls Royces, they can make you happy short term, but they will not fulfill you. And so we're going to talk about today is both getting happiness and fulfillment. Let me be very clear with you. If your desire is to become wealthy, is to become rich, is to have all the material things in life, because it was one of mine, I could tell you I wanted to live here oceanfront. I wanted to have a lakefront home. I wanted to take care of my parents. I wanted to fly private. Then I wanted my own jet. I've had a Rolls Royce and I've had had a Toyota and I could tell you up front, I'd rather drive the Rolls Royce. So that doesn't make you shallow. That means that you have goals and you like the finer things in life. And for many of you listening to this, that's something you're going to chase. And I want you to have those things. For some of you, those things don't matter to you at all. You just want to make a difference. You want to make a contribution. And I can tell you the material things in your life don't matter, and that's perfectly fine. But for those of you that want to chase the material things, I want you to have them. But by no means am I going to let you think because I've been there that somehow that's going to fulfill you. Because guess what? You have to bring you with you everywhere you go the rest of your life. You have to bring you on your jet, you have to bring you to your oceanfront house. And if you don't love you, if you don't like you, if you don't believe in you, if you're not experiencing the right emotions about you, you bring all those emotions with you to these places you go. So I think learning the strategies of being happy and fulfilled prior to having all these material things will serve you. Because I have so many friends and I know so many people that have accomplished all the material things in their life and those things made them happy short term. But they're living in unfulfilled destination.

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[Ed Mylett]

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So let's talk about that for a minute. The caliber of your life is literally linked to the caliber of emotions you experience on a regular basis. So take an inventory of that for a second. Over the last day, week, month and year, what are the majority of the emotions you experience? Are you enjoying the emotions? Do you experience the emotions of joy, fulfillment, peace, contribution, ecstasy, passion, certainty, faith, strength, or are you experiencing more regularly the emotions of fear, anxiety, depression, stress, pain? Take an inventory of those emotions and I can promise you if you have more of passion, more of strength, more of joy, more of contribution, more of peace compared to having anxiety and pain and stress, the caliber of your life is higher with the people that have those emotions. And so it's being conscious that our emotions dictate the caliber of our life. It's then being conscious of what emotions are we experiencing most regularly? And then next, what emotions do we want to experience? What are the emotions you wish you were experiencing on a regular basis? And take an inventory of what those are. Make a list of what those emotions are and begin to seek them, begin to pursue them, begin to be intentional about finding them, and you'll begin to see them more and experience them more just by taking control of the intention of having them. That's the first step, is taking an inventory, being aware that my emotions dictate the caliber of my life. The emotions I want are these three, these five, these seven on a regular basis and be intentional about pursuing them. You know, Emerson has this great quote where he says, we are what we think about all day long. I would amend that to we are what we experience emotionally all day long. Now, oftentimes, what we think about dictate what our emotions are. And so I can tell you that I believe the pathway to fulfillment, not just happiness, because the ultimate destination in life is fulfillment. We're all chasing that we're all pursuing fulfillment. That's the ultimate emotion is fulfillment. In my opinion at least the one I want is fulfillment because it embodies all of the powerful emotions. How do we become more fulfilled? I can tell you that I believe the pathway to fulfillment is by contributing to other people. Being in service to other people. Chasing your passion and your purpose in the service of other people leads to fulfillment. Let me tell you the pathway, I think, to contributing to other people and truly fulfilling your purpose. Because if you can match being happy with all the short term things you want to achieve in your life, achievement can be a destination. Achievement can be a level. Achievement can be a promotion. It could be a certain amount of money, it could be an accomplishment, it could be a home, it could be whatever it is. Achievements make us happy. Contribution matched with achievement is fulfillment. And so I want you to take an inventory. The most fulfilled people I know use the gifts they were given in their life towards the service and contributing to other people. I'm going to give you 10 things that I want you to be more of. I want you to embody more of in your life. I want you to take an inventory.

Of the man or woman.

If you could be more of these 10 things, they will delay to you more of these emotions. Number one, I want you to be unique. I want you to be special. See, I believe the opposite of bravery is to conform. Conformity is the opposite of bravery. You don't need to be like anybody else. Stop trying to be a part of the group. Be unique. Be special. Be you. Celebrate the uniqueness that is you. Yeah, you may take some criticism. You probably take it in the past. Every time you've tried to be yourself, you've taken a little criticism. But I can promise you one of the gateways to more of these positive emotions is to be unique. Be special. Be you. Number two.

Be love.

I know that may sound corny, especially to some of you guys that are listening to this, but just be more loving. I think you'll find the more love you put out into the world. And I don't mean this in some fluffy way, I'm serious, the more you love people, the more you smile. The more you truly love in life, the more you get it back in your life. Number three, be truth. Just honor your truth more often and even in the difficult times, be honest and truthful with people. Number four, be kind. One of the rarest things in the world today is just a kind person just taking the time to be more kind to people. We need more Kindness in the world. The more kind you are to other people, the more those emotions come flooding your way. Number five. Be beautiful. And I mean it. Be beautiful. Begin to celebrate your beauty. I know for some of us that's difficult because we're aware of all the things about us that aren't beautiful. The more you just be beautiful, I could tell you, the more you begin to accept you the way you are, that you're perfect as you are. It doesn't mean we don't want to look better, doesn't mean we don't want to improve our condition. Be healthier, be stronger, look better. But the bottom line is, if we can't begin to love how we look now, we're not going to love how we look at any point. We're never going to love it. Just be more beautiful now. Number six. Be moving. You must always be moving your body. See, the great emotions come from us when we're moving our body. See, emotions are physical as well. They're physical thing. You know how you feel when you're working out or you're in that special moment with that special someone and privacy. You're moving your body at that time, aren't you?

Right?

Laughter is a movement, right? See, emotions are movements. It's a state of being. The more you're breathing, deeper, the more you're moving your body. Moving your body creates positive emotions. Stagnation. Laying down, hunched over all these emotions, sitting at your desk too long every single day, laying in bed, laying on the couch, not moving, driving in the car is when all the negative emotions hit. You'll find that when you're moving, running, moving your body, exercising, just getting in a peak state, being conscious of your posture and your physiology and moving yourself, you'll find it's almost impossible to experience the negative emotions when you're moving and the positive ones come flooding in. Number seven, Be growing. As we've talked about previously, either growing or dying in your life. A growing person is experiencing the positive emotions of life. A person who's not growing, they start to experience depression and fatigue and fear and anxiety. Be growing all the time. It's a gateway to all the positive emotions in life. Number eight. Be silly, be playful. See, you were the happiest probably when you were a little, little child, when you were playful and you didn't cared, everybody thought about you. Start to have more childlike enthusiasm in your life. Be silly, be willing to look bad and look goofy. The happiest people have more childlike emotions, more childlike enthusiasm. We all get older and we get buttoned up and we want to look a certain way and present our certain selves and think there's a way we're supposed to act all the time. And we lose the inner child, and from there we lose the emotions a child gets to experience. Number nine, be forgiving. Forgive people. It will set you free and open you up to all the positive emotions in your life. If there are people you need to forgive, do it. It's your lack of forgiveness that's holding you back from getting these positive emotions. It's holding on to this thing you're holding over somebody even though you think they may deserve it, if you don't forgive them. You've blocked yourself. You've cheated yourself from all the joy, all the peace, all the passion in your life is you're holding on and not forgiving somebody. That lack of forgiveness is giving you the anxiety and the stress, and it's blunting your access to the best emotions. Be forgiving. And then number 10, be courageous. Be bold. The most courageous people in life experience the greatest emotions. They take risks. They overcome adversity. They put themselves in uncomfortable situations. They show courage. They say step in when needed. They're people's heroes in their life. They do things they're afraid of on a very regular basis. Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is taking action in the presence of fear. I promise you, the more courageous you are, the more you are opening yourself to the best emotions in life. These 10 things, these 10 steps, these 10 ways of being, are gateways to the positive emotions in our life. And when you combine that with ideas, identifying your gifts and using them in the service of other people and being conscious of wanting these emotions, your entire life is going to transform. I hope you enjoyed today's program. My prayer is that it's helped you and made an impact in your life. If you're watching this on YouTube, I want to challenge you to share this with as many people as you can. But then go subscribe to itunes or Spotify and make sure you get in the audio version, because I'm going to put content on audio that you won't see on video and vice versa. If you're listening to this on Spotify or itunes or an audio platform, go subscribe to the YouTube channel so you can see some of these programs. And then also I'm going to put content on YouTube. You're not going to get on the audio platform. All my content is free. YouTube, itunes, Instagram, it's all free to you. Just to make a difference in your life. I'm here to serve you. I hope I did that today. God bless you and Max.

Out.

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