B (3:02)

And so each human being that's operating.

A (3:04)

That'S above about five years old, is beginning to build a story about themselves.

B (3:08)

And by the time you get to a particular age, usually in your early 20s especially, it doesn't happen then by 30, maybe a trauma happens in your.

A (3:15)

40S, but you become a story and a human. And you and I, as humans, will.

B (3:20)

Do everything we can to live consistently with this story we tell ourselves.

A (3:25)

So first thing, I want to say.

B (3:27)

That if something traumatic happened to you.

A (3:29)

When you were a child, there was some kind of trauma when you were young, and that started the story for you.

B (3:34)

And that's not everybody, but it happened.

A (3:36)

In my life, and it happened in many of your lives. I want to say something to you, but I want you to hear it's not your fault, and you were born to do something great. And if you could drop that narrative that somehow you caused something or there's something wrong with you or your bloodline or your family, it's just not true.

B (3:57)

For some of you.

A (3:58)

Go, that didn't happen to me.

B (3:59)

But stuff has happened in your life.

A (4:01)

Where you become a story.

B (4:02)

And most people are unaware of the.

A (4:04)

Story they're telling themselves, and they're unaware of the reticular activating system in their brain. So let me just explain something to you. I talk about the RAs often. If you know my work, it's at the centerpiece of a lot of the things I teach. But there's a part of it that I've not talked a lot about before, which is that it's a story confirmer. So if you believe something, I'm a victim, I'm hurt, I'm an underdog, I'm not enough.

B (4:24)

I was. I used to be. Whatever you believe about yourself, the reticular.

A (4:28)

Activating system is going to prove you right.

B (4:30)

It's going to see circumstances that validate it. It's going to find you people that will confirm that thing you believe about yourself, this story. It will let you hear things, feel things, see things, experience things, watch and listen to things that confirm this story. Because everything about being a human is to be consistent with the story they tell themselves. That's why Tiger woods became the greatest golfer of all time, because he had this story being told to him since he was a little boy, over and over. Did he have to put the reps in, in the work and hit the golf balls and have some genetics, all that? Yeah. But the bottom line is it's to confirm a story his mom and his dad told him as a little boy, he had to confirm it. You're confirming a story that you're telling yourself about you every day. And if you want to change your life, the key to changing your life, the beginning of it, there's many keys. It's not just one thing, but the beginning of it is taking control of the narrative, changing the story, even if it served you. I'm constantly changing my story. And by the way, it's been a pretty good one. But I don't want to repeat last year. I want to get better. As I said many times, I'm addicted to the expansion of my being. I'm an imperfect person. I've made so many damn mistakes in my life. I'd like to make fewer. I'd like to create more stuff in my life that's beautiful. And the only way I do that is I don't hang on to whatever the story is I'm telling myself now. I was raised by an alcoholic dad. I could have told that story the rest of my life. I could be an Underdog. I could be a victim, rest on my laurels. But I know the key begins with the story.

A (6:02)

So we are a series of stories and you're trying to prove it every single day. Let me tell you how big your pattern is. Cross your arms. Right now just. I'm crossing my arms. If you're watching YouTube, just cross them. Hit your chest, you know, you cross your arms. Okay, now change it and do it with the other arm. Doesn't that feel weird? Doesn't that feel weird? That's change in your life. Something as simple as the way we cross our arms is so habitual that even changing one arm to the other feels awkward, feels uncomfortable. And guess what we will do? We will revert back to the way it feels because it confirms the pattern. And that's what we do in our lives with our story. That's why most people don't change, because they don't change the story. It's not just changing your habits, although.

B (6:46)

That'S part of it.

A (6:47)

You can't just change your associations, although you need to. You got to start by changing the story. And that begins by knowing one thing. The lead character of the story of your life is you. You are the author. You and God are the co authors of the story of your life. However you view God, that's your business. You all know how I view God, but you view it your way. You're the co authors of the story of your life. And once you understand that and that you can create in your life and if you ask for the right blessings, you prayerful about it, the great things can come into your life. That if you plant the right seeds, that there's a harvest that comes at some point in your life.

B (7:26)

So we are a story.

A (7:27)

Now here's the thing to understand about our story. The higher the emotion level, the more the story sticks. So that's why when you meet most people, if you get to know them for any length of time, think about people that you meet within the first meeting or second or third. They're going to tell you about a particular time in their life. And you know when they're going to tell you about typically the most emotional or their childhood or both. Most people will tell you I was raised here, my dad was this, my mom was that, I was this. And then they'll tell you the story about an emotional time. So the emotion makes the story stick. So if we're going to create a new story, it has to be emotional for it to stick. We have to work on that. We have to Create the emotion. First off, number one today, what's your narrative? Have you looked at it lately, like, who are you as a character? And be honest. It's just you and I and I can't see you or talk to you right now. So who are you as a character in your life? Are you a person who is a character that you're hurt? Are you an underdog, an overcomer? You're not enough is your story. I used to be. I was. Are you a victim? Just be honest. Is the deck stacked against you story? Is that your story? You may really have had someone screw you over. You may really have the deck stacked against you. You may really have been hurt. You may really have had issues in your family like I did that you're not proud of. You know, I always, always used to wish when I was a little boy, why can't I be in that family where there. There's no yelling in their house? The truth is, it may be an accurate story. The question is, in a minute, we'll ask you whether it serves you or not. Maybe your story is, I'm better than. I'm better than them. I'm doing better than they are. What's your story? Right? And be honest about it and be real. Who are you as a character? You know, a lot of my friends are always overcoming life, which is a noble thing. Hey, man, I'm overcoming. I'm overcoming. That sounds good. And if it gives you motivation, great. But life should not always be just about overcoming everything. A crappy way to go through life. Everything you have to overcome, right? At some point, it ought to be able to shift where you're living a dream. I have people that I know that were overcomers when they needed to be, and now they've got a dream life, and they still live like they're overcoming all the time because they never change the story. So what's the story, number one? Number two, how really true is the story? How true is it? The problem with answering this question is your reticular activating system has validated so many circumstances that you've seen that have proven you right. So you'd have to step out of all of that and say, how true is this story? Like, how long are you going to wear the badge of that divorce and that be the story? Is there a shelf life on that? Is there a moratorium? Or are we going in the next decade on it? We're going to go the next 30 years on it. That breakup you've had, like, okay, it's true, but how long are we gonna go? Is it still valid? That thing you believe about yourself, that's the deficiency. Is it true? If it is, you can acknowledge it. It's true. Because I'm in a career that's dominated by men, and I'm a woman, and so that's difficult. I have a language barrier or my race affects me. All those things can be very, very true. And you can actually answer the question, yes, it's true. And that could be the answer to number two. Or, you know, maybe in some cases, you go, it's actually not true anymore. I've exaggerated it. I've overcooked it. I'm not that big of a victim, and I keep living like it. And so I keep finding people that make me a victim. Yet there are other people from the same exact background of an alcoholic father, of how to divorce, or in my ethnic group or speak my language, and they're winning.

B (11:06)

So they found a way to see.

A (11:08)

A different path forward, even if it is true. Third, how old is this story? How old is it? Just ask yourself. That story. It's fresh. It just happened. Okay? Was it a year ago? Is it two years ago? Is it five years? Is it ten years ago? Like, what's the story? How old is it? Four? Here's a big one. You ready? This is where we begin to change. Does this story serve me not whether it's true? That was question number two. For half of you, the story isn't even true. For the other half of you, you said, no, it's actually true, Ed. And by the way, I will always acknowledge that. If it's true, it's true. Maybe you do it. You didn't start life on third base, right? Maybe you didn't even start at home plate. You've been overcoming a lot. I have so many friends that the ones that I'm the most proud of are not the ones who started on second base and got the third or home, didn't even start on the field and have found a way to get on the field and found a way to move around the bases of life and win. Those are the most inspiring friends of mine, the most inspiring stories. And so does it serve you? Does it serve you? Is it causing you to win? Is believing what you believe serving you? And then five would be this. What would the story need to be so that it would serve me? So let's say you found out who you are as a character, the dominant character. You're a victim. You're an underdog. You're not enough. I'M too much. I'm this. Whatever your story is, who the character that you're playing. Two, how true is it? Really? Honestly? Okay, and if it is true, how old is it? And if that's you got the age on it, does the story serve you? If you said it really doesn't serve me, you may say the story has served me because it's made me financially wealthy. But that same story has kept my emotions, my fulfillment at a minimum. So I had stories that I've told myself over the years that have caused me to accumulate a lot of wealth. But that same story did not serve me emotionally. And so at some point, once I.

B (13:05)

Got the wealth, I had to change.

A (13:05)

The story so that I could live emotionally healthy.

B (13:08)

What would it need to be that.

A (13:10)

It did serve you? A good example of that might be like the fact that I was raised by an alcoholic father and. But I was blessed the fact that my dad did eventually get sober.

B (13:19)

But I could have, you know, you.

A (13:20)

Could look at a family, my family, all the siblings turned out. I'm really proud of my sisters. But oftentimes you've seen this in many families, two kids can be raised in the exact same environment. One becomes an alcoholic and a drug act just like their parent. The other one doesn't and becomes very successful. There's a lot of studies like in the way that I was raised with drug addiction or alcoholism in families, usually the kids go one way or the other. They're usually not in the middle. They're either really have a major problem in their life and they've got an addictive personality, or they actually become type A very, very successful people.

B (13:49)

But same environment, you can take two.

A (13:50)

Different conclusions because the story took on a different meaning. In my case, that story meant I wanted to be the one in my family. I wanted to change our family forever. My dad certainly set the table for that by getting sober. But I wanted to be the one. I wanted to be successful. I wanted to change our bloodline. I wanted the my less to think differently. I wanted the my list to be healthy, productive, giving, contributory people, which by the way, my father became once he was sober.

B (14:13)

But also what I took from my.

A (14:16)

Dad'S sobriety was that people can change.

B (14:19)

I watched him change his life.

A (14:20)

So I'm a big believer people can change.

B (14:22)

That's the meaning of I took from.

A (14:24)

The story rather than using it as an excuse not to be successful or to be happy.

B (14:28)

So what would you need to believe.

A (14:32)

About that story so that it would serve you and everything I'M saying today, I say to you with no judgment, I know that I can't relate to your story. Right. I come from a different background, a different culture, a different time, a different age. I could be a different language, a different country, a different ethnicity, different socioeconomic background. There's no assessment or judgment. This is a brother trying to help a friend, a sister or a brother. Okay? But I'm going to ask you the questions because I care. I'm not one of these people that just creates content. You're okay the way you are, blah, blah, blah. What a joke that is. That's people that don't have any content that can change your life. They validate people's weaknesses. You don't even believe it anyway. When someone tells you you're great just as you are, there's a part of you that goes, no, I'm listening to you because I want to be better. I don't like my body, I want to change it. I don't like my emotions. I want to change them. I don't like my financial situation. I don't like what I'm giving. I don't like my.

B (15:24)

There's some element of your life you want to change. The easiest way to get follows and.

A (15:28)

Likes now is Jay. You're.

B (15:29)

You're amazing. You're awesome as you are. Your kid can be an A student or a B student and they're bringing home Ds and you go, you're awesome as you are. You believe in them. That little to me, great content is you can change your life. You were born to do something great, and if you're not doing it, let's live up to our potential. And I'm not going to just get you to follow or like me by telling you you're awesome the way you are. I don't have any strategies to help.

A (15:54)

You, and I just want you to like me.

B (15:57)

But I would rather you change your life. And maybe potentially short term, not always.

A (16:03)

Like everything I say, and I'd say this out of complete love. I do this to serve. So what would the story need to be next?

B (16:10)

If you could grab a pen and.

A (16:12)

Begin to write a new story about yourself, knowing the lead character is you, what would that story be? What would the heroic story be about you?

B (16:21)

What would it be?

A (16:22)

I overcame this situation or I created this or whatever it is at some.

B (16:27)

Age, I made a shift or I eradicated people in my life that didn't treat me in a way that I know I was worthy of deserving, whatever it is because Remember this, you're one decision away from changing your life. One new thought, one new shot, one new story away. And if you could anchor a big emotion to it, you'll change. You know, I have a very dear friend who grew up in a very.

A (16:49)

Emotionally and physically abusive environment. And she lived in that story for years.

B (16:54)

And so she obviously had certain things stacked against her in life and particularly the things in her family. And so we had to change the story. And the story ended up being that she was going to change her life because of all the people that needed.

A (17:09)

To hear her story.

B (17:11)

Sometimes the story isn't even real at all. But if you could write a heroic story about you, what would it look like? Because you are one decision away. And remember, the higher the emotion, the bigger the reason, the more the story sticks and becomes a pattern. So if you can load up a bunch of reasons, emotional, deep reasons, right, for why that matters for me. I get so emotional about my work because I truly think. I pray before I do this. I pray before I speak. I think of that one person out there that's like me when I was young. I had no self esteem. Alcoholic dad, shy, introverted, picked on in school, bullied. There's someone out there in the audience that could change millions of people's lives like I have. If I can reach that person with my story, I owe that young man, that young woman, that older man or older woman that's listening today, my best. My best. And that heroic story of thinking I could change a life and what that person's life could do to impact other people causes me to prepare, causes me to work, changes the narrative. I'm loading myself up with reasons. It's emotional to me. Most of you don't know this, but I started my career after college. I flunked out of baseball. I got hurt, and I just wasn't good enough to play in the big leagues. I couldn't find a job I wanted. I had hired a couple sales jobs and I couldn't take the rejection in sales. I just couldn't take it. And so my dad came home from an AA meeting and he got me a job at an orphanage called McKinley Home for Boys. All my boys were wards of the court. Their parents were either gone, incarcerated, or had molested them. And I ended up with these young men early in my life. I'm not a psychologist and I wasn't a father at the time. And I had to serve these boys. And pretty soon I figured out my example is what mattered. Most things in life are caught not Taught I need to live a great life, I need to achieve, I need to succeed, I need to grow. And I know what it's like. Not to the extent they did, but I know what it's like to grow up afraid to grow up scared to up not proud of your family. Sometimes I know what it's like to grow up with anxiety in your life and worry. So I connected with these boys because you're most qualified in life to help the person you used to be. And so I could have held on to that story. My dad's an alcoholic, I flunked out of baseball, I can't hold on to a job, I'm living at home with my mommy and daddy and I'm 22 years old. That could have been the story and it would have been valid, but I had to change it. And by the way, my reticular activating system was proving it all the time. This guy made it in baseball and I didn't. This guy's got a hundred thousand dollar year job and I don't. This guy's bought a new house and I'm living at home with my mom and dad. I remember a buddy of mine going, hey man, how's this thing where you're babysitting these kids all day long? I remember him saying that to me. I remember saying, hey dude, I'm not babysitting these kids. These guys are like my sons, these young boys and they need me and I'm making a difference in their life. And then I remember I just reframed that story. It's the same thing. It was the same job, but my story was different about it. And the conclusion I reached is I.

A (20:09)

Need to win for these boys.

B (20:10)

I need to show them kids like us can win, people like us can overcome. And it makes me emotional to this day to know that there are people that are in a drug addicted or alcoholic family that know everything could be okay, or any type of abuse, any.

A (20:26)

Type of dysfunction in a family.

B (20:28)

I feel an obligation to those people. Or actually I feel an obligation to.

A (20:33)

Anybody who doesn't feel good about themselves all the time.

B (20:35)

I have an obligation to anybody who's.

A (20:37)

Got a big dream and wants to be somebody because I'm that guy too.

B (20:42)

Any dreamers, anybody who wants to be somebody, anybody wants to make their family proud of, anybody wants to make God proud, I'm with you.

A (20:49)

I want to be an example, I want to teach, I want to inspire. I want you to aspire maybe to do some of the things I do. And so whether you Come from a really difficult place, I feel compelled to help. Or if you got a big dream and you want to win, you want to kick some butt in your life, make something great happen with your life, I'm in that camp too. And so what would you need to believe? What's the heroic story about yourself? The higher the emotion, the more it's going to happen. Remember this. You're one plot twist away from changing everything in your life. You're one decision, one plot twist away.

B (21:24)

Plot twist.

A (21:24)

And here's how you do it. You grab the pen and you start to write the new chapters. I believe you should physically write them out or make a video or an audio. What's the new story going to be? What's the new character? Walk a little more confidently. Bow your back a little bit, Stand up a little bit straighter. Look people in the eye a little bit more. Fake it if you have to. On your confidence for a while. Get around the right people. Eliminate the wrong people in your life. Let me ask you a question. If today was the final chapter of your life, are you okay with the exit? If your great grid kids came along and read the story of your life and it ended today, have you written all the chapters you want to write? It is simple, but it isn't easy. I'm not ever going to tell you winning is easy. Winning is hard. In fact, winning is so much harder than you think it is. You probably wouldn't get started if you knew how hard it was. But I can tell you, it's more worth it than you believe. So if you were to grab that pen, what would you write? Who would you be? How would you walk? How would you feel? And what if we truly just lived inside that story? Human beings will do everything within their power to be consistent with that story. They'll use the reticular activating system to confirm all of it. You will create that story if it's deep enough, emotionally to you, if you've got enough reasons. I'm convinced that the beginning of every change is literally grabbing a pen in your life and literally beginning to write a new narrative. And what's crazy about life is so many people get out of the end of it and they realize they could have done it anytime they wanted to at the end of their life. Their regrets are typically acts of omission, not things they tried and failed at. Most people on their deathbed regret the things they didn't try, they didn't do. They keep living this story out of some trauma in childhood or some mistake they've made or some setback or someone that's hurt them as an adult. And then there's others who just live out of their victories and they keep writing that same chapter. I was a high school quarterback. I was a.

B (23:10)

This.

A (23:10)

I sold my company for that. I got this degree.

B (23:13)

Okay, that was before.

A (23:14)

What about now, right? What are the chapters now? What would it need to look like? Sound like? How would you need to act? How would you need to act? I don't want you to end your life with a boring story. I don't want to end your life. Where you go. There could have been more. But I lived afraid. I lived afraid of changing. I didn't want to leave the comfort of my story.

B (23:35)

I enjoyed the story I told everybody about me more than what I was capable of doing. And when you get to the end of your life, the one you were born to live greatly, the one you were born to change other people's lives, I can promise you, my friend, at the end of it, you're going to look back and go, why did I keep living this stupid story that might have not even been true? If it was true, was old, and if it wasn't old and it was true, it sure didn't serve me. And at any time, God and I could have partnered up and I could have written some new chapters and had one exciting book I'm proud of that my great grandkids will read someday, or they're going to pick it up and go, well, it started with some promise, but, man, at some point, all the pages start to run together. The same people, the same places, the same things, the same thoughts, the same stuff.

A (24:25)

And they could have changed it anytime they wanted. I'm intervening right now into your life saying, yeah, you can change it. And it's okay if it's true. It's okay if it's not true. It's okay if it's new and it's okay if it's old. If something bad happened when you were a kid, it's not your fault. But it is your fault. If the pages start to run together, it's nobody else's fault. Because somebody just like you is winning right now. Somebody just like you is happy right now. Somebody just like you is helping someone right now. Somebody just like you is creating an amazing memory right now. Give yourself a review right now. One to five stars on the story of your life. If it ended right now, review your book, review your movie. You know what most people do, by the way, if it's a movie, they Allow the extras of life to rule the day.

B (25:17)

You ever go to a movie and.

A (25:18)

At the end it'll say, like, lead character, whoever, you know, Denzel Washington, Meryl Streep. And it leads. It shows you the main characters. There's like five or eight of them. But if you stay long enough in the theater or you keep watching it, it'll get to the extras. You seen those? You know, I mean, cab driver number two, they don't even have names. They're just like faceless people in life. It's exactly that way. There's the lead characters of our life. It's us and God. And then there's the people that matter the most, our families and our close friends. Those are the lead characters. Maybe you got five or eight. But what most people do is they allow the extras of life to dictate the terms of their life. They worry about the extras. What are they going to say? What are they going to think? The extra from high school, the extra from your divorce, the extra. These people are extras. They're not the lead characters if they're not going to be holding your hand when you pass away, if they're not going to be in the room, if they're not the people you want to meet when you first get to heaven, they're the extras. Don't let the extras of life rule your life. Don't be afraid of what they think. Don't worry about them. Don't let them hurt you anymore. They have no power over you. When you change the story, let the lead characters. And maybe right now it's just you and God. And that's okay, too, because those are the two most important characters in the story of your life. But live for the lead characters, not the extras. And if you do that, you're gonna live a great life. But most people get to the end of their life, and the story of their life, the pages run together. If they were to rate their own life, it would be one or two stars. And the reason it's one or two stars is all the extras made them afraid to go for their dreams, kept them in their story. The world wants to keep you in your story. If you believe in faith, the devil, the adversary, wants you to stay. And your story, small, afraid, discouraged. But the new story, you don't need doubt. The new story, you don't need to be discouraged. The new story, you don't need to be delusional. The new story, you don't need to delay. You can get to writing that literally right now. So give yourself A review. And then, by the way, maybe today, just get quiet if you can't get clear. If you're saying, I don't know exactly yet, I can tell you that you'll find that answer in silence, not in a big crowd. Go get quiet somewhere. Go take a walk, go into a room and turn all the lights off and the sound off and the TV off and your phone off and just get still. Most answers are in stillness and in the quiet. And that's when I think the divine will start to whisper back to you. What if the entire time you've been living God, whatever you believe about that, has been whispering to you, you're a believer, do something great, supposed to do something awesome, but the noise of the extras, the noise of this story you keep telling, has been drowning it out. I find that when I get really quiet, really still, that's where the answers lie. And if you do that regularly enough, you'll start writing the right chapters of your life again. I would write it down. You could record it audibly. You could record it in video. And the reason we want to record that story, writing it down audibly or on video, is that we can read it over and over. It needs to be attached to emotion and big reasons, or we can listen to it over and over, or we can watch it over and over. And the reason that is is because the more we repeat it, the more it becomes familiar and the more it begins to eradicate our former story that we've repeated thousands of times, if not millions in our own mind, because our minds move towards what they're most familiar with. The more you write it down, say it out loud, audibly, can listen to it, or actually can just begin to imprint the thought over and over again or watch a video of it. The more that pattern begins to recreate itself in your life, and you've created a new pattern in your life, you've got to attach high emotion to it. So one way to do that is actually to be repeating the story when you're working out.

B (29:16)

So when you're training, when you're doing.

A (29:17)

Cardio, when you're lifting weights, when you're taking your walk, when you're moving your physiology and shifting it, if you repeat.

B (29:24)

That pattern, you're anchoring the new story in your body. And your body is the subconscious mind. So when you anchor it into your.

A (29:31)

Heart, when you anchor it, when you're.

B (29:34)

Working out, when you're doing cardio, when you're taking a walk, when you're stretching.

A (29:37)

You'Re anchoring the story much more into your neurochemistry. And what happens is you physically anchor that into your unconscious and subconscious mind, because you're doing it when you're moving at a peak state. Not enough people take advantage of their physical state when they're working out. They just work out. Yeah, you're cutting muscle fibers down.

B (29:54)

Yeah, your heart's pumping blood, but that's great. And that changes lives.

A (29:57)

But.

B (29:58)

But guess what? It's also the greatest way to change your mind. To change your mind is in a heightened physical state. The reason I said earlier that emotion attached to a story is why it's anchored is because of the chemistry in your body during the fear, during the moment, during the drama. So you can recreate that same chemistry in your body, because fear and excitement, fear and a peak state are cousins. And so when you create that chemistry in your body, you're essentially attaching the same neurobiochemistry that excitement does when you're in a physical peak state. And so now you anchor the story in that physiology. It's got a much greater chance of holding and anchoring itself and creating a new pattern when you do it in a peak physical state, it's not just the emotion that attaches the story, although that's part of it.

A (30:49)

It's.

B (30:50)

It's the physiology attached to the emotion that anchors the story. So we have three things we can do with our new story. One, anchor it emotionally. Our children, our future, the people will help, our family, the people that have passed away that we want to make proud of us. God, that's one. Okay, two is all the reasons. Right? But third, here's a hack. No one will tell you. It's crazy to me. I teach it all my coaching clients do it. When you're in your peak physical state, give yourself the gift of the new story.

A (31:18)

Say it out loud.

B (31:19)

See it, visualize it, watch it, hear it. So when you listen to that podcast, maybe take a second and just listen back to that story or write it down and read it or think it or watch the video when you're in a peak state now you've anchored a different chemistry to that story, and you got a chance of overriding that pattern, just like you would when you're emotional. It's the neurobiochemistry in your body, the neurology, if you will, that anchors the story. And so that's why fear anchors the story. Trauma, seeing something horrible as a kid, that's anchored because of the physiology that's taken place. You can replicate that physiology, almost not Quite. But almost by being in a peak physical state of running, cardio, walking, working out, stretching.

A (32:04)

Okay.

B (32:04)

And then anchor the story then. And do it daily. And you begin to anchor that story.

A (32:08)

That can create a pattern, interrupt one thing. That's going to happen when you look back at the end of your life. I promise, you're gonna look back and know that God was there the entire time. And that anytime you can turn and say, I need some help. I need some clarity. I need some strength. I need some comfort. I need some vision. That's the real story. The real story isn't this lie. The real story isn't all this other stuff. The real story is what I opened with. You were born to do something great with your life in big ways and small ways. And when you're doing it, it probably won't feel like it. It'll probably feel like work. It'll probably feel like pain. It'll probably feel difficult. You'll probably be embarrassing yourself.

B (32:47)

People will probably talk bad about you.

A (32:50)

That's how you know you're doing something great with your life. All of it lies outside your comfort zone and outside this goofy story we keep telling ourselves that's ruling all of the patterns of our life. All right, I hope this helped you out today, everybody. You're supposed to do something awesome. And I mean you. I know a lot about you, but I don't know you. I've never met you before, but I know that we're brother and sister. And I know that you were put here for a reason and that you matter. And you're not invisible. You're not invisible. You were qualified mostly to help the people you used to be. Just like those little boys that I helped. Think about pain you've had in your life, and that might be the pathway to your purpose.

B (33:35)

What is I?

A (33:36)

Who are you? And really, what you are in your life is you're a collection of memories. You're a collection of thoughts and memories and stories you tell yourself. And that's how we define who I am. When someone says, this is who I am, what they're really saying is, these are the memories and stories of my life. And so that's why I believe when we're children, we're a whole lot happier than we are, for the most part, than when we're adults.

B (33:57)

You should ask yourself a question.

A (33:58)

I ask this often lately to people.

B (33:59)

I say, when was the last time.

A (34:00)

You had an entire 24 hours of bliss? Not like a moment of bliss in a day, but like 24 straight hours of Bliss of happiness in your life. For most people, they can't remember an entire day. When I asked you when you were 2 or 3 years old, I bet you that was the norm for you almost every single day. And I'm convinced that that's because we had not yet accumulated stories and narratives and memories about ourselves that define who we are. And so as we become adults, this collection of stories become patterns. And these patterns then become thoughts. And when we repeat thoughts over and over again, we get into thought loops. What happens is in our life, our mind moves towards what it's most familiar with. And this is what happens in our life. And there's a way out of this, by the way, and I'm going to share that with you today. So with that in mind, I had prerecorded something that I believe is perfect for this topic today that I want to share with you now. And so here we go. You're going to show up 20 years from now somewhere. The question is where. And what I would submit to you is that one of the ways out of difficult times is huge, bold, God sized dreams.

B (35:09)

Like what is your huge bold, the one you're embarrassed to tell people, the huge, bold, God sized dream in your life. And the more of it you can to project into that dream state of what you want in your life, the more it gives you the inspiration. If your dreams are bigger than the.

A (35:23)

Adversity, you'll get through it.

B (35:24)

But the minute that adversity, those emotions are bigger than what you're going, bigger than your dreams, you're toast. You got to reevaluate that.

A (35:32)

You got to look at it. You got to say, wait a minute.

B (35:34)

What'S my big dream? What's my big goal? What's that big emotion? What's that thing? What's that place? What's that person? What's that contribution, whatever it might be? And you got to begin to obsess about it because what I said earlier is true. Your mind moves towards what it's most familiar with. So if you're most familiar with your fears, those six fears, or these emotions you don't want, or your problems, or your setbacks, or the things that are not in your favor, then you're going to move towards them. You may be right about all that. But does it serve you to believe it? Because the way the mind works is it moves towards what it's most familiar with. And the reason some people are successful and most aren't is the successful people have the ability to begin to program into their mind the things they want, the dreams they have over and over and over because they know this to be true. They belong in their dreams. Their dreams are not some hallucination. They're not a joke. God gave you those dreams as a glimpse, as a preview of what's possible in your life. But whatever your faith is, the universe, whatever you believe, they come from outside of you. And they're not a joke. They're a preview of what's possible. And the more you move towards those thoughts, those dreams, in faith, boldly strong, and not towards those six fears you have or this circumstance, you need to pivot, you need to course correct. You need a better plan. Clearly, you need a better plan. But what you don't need is to be moving towards the thoughts that don't serve you because you keep getting them, don't you? You keep drawing the circumstances into your life that don't serve you because your mind moves you towards what you're familiar with. Please, sister, I love you. Please, brother, listen to what I'm saying. Begin to feed these thoughts to you regularly and begin to take the actions in congruency with them. And when you begin to think and act in congruency, you become a force in the world that is unstoppable. Eventually, if you can outlast the temporary, not right away. See, there's two things people lack. The Bible says where there is no vision, the people perish. People lack vision, but oftentimes when they get a vision, the other thing that they suffer from is depth perception issues. They don't let their mind go there regularly, and so they constantly stay in a perpetual state of being. Far from it. The premise of my book, the Power of One More, is very simple. When you get it, and it's this, you're a lot closer to your dreams than you think. You're a lot closer to these emotions, these feelings, that life, that other self than you think you are. You're one decision away, one possible meeting, one relationship, one thought, one emotion, one strategy. In my new book, Away From Changing it, you're a lot closer than you think. What is thinking, Ed? How do I think better? What's a thought? A thought is the process of asking yourself a question and answering it. So ask yourself better questions and you will have better thoughts and better answers. So if you do have this detriment, it's a hindrance, and you know it's a hindrance and it's a challenge or you're going through something, that's okay. The question is, ask yourself a better question. About it instead of saying, that's why I'm going to lose, it's hey, how can I overcome this? Know that all pain is temporary. Outlast the temporary, right? And remember this. You're going to arrive to this place in 20 years. You're going to arrive there. The question is, who are you going to be when you get there?

A (38:47)

What's your life going to look like?

B (38:49)

What are you going to look like?

A (38:50)

Who of you have helped? What will you have achieved? What will the memories be you had?

B (38:54)

And most importantly, what will the emotions be that you get to possess at that time? And by the time you get there.

A (39:00)

Who is that other self? I'll submit to you. There's four characters, for the most part. You could show up as in 20 years. There's four characters. Most people show up in their lives as who they think they are. Number one person they show up as in 20 years is invisible. They're invisible. No one knows them. No one knows anything they've achieved. No one's kept a record of their life. And I'm not talking about big things. I'm talking about small things. It's that kind phone call that you make in the morning to a friend you haven't talked to in a long time. You're no longer invisible to them. It's that helping somebody in need when no one will see you doing it, when it's an invisible gesture. You're no longer invisible because you're making deposits in this other self. You're making deposits in this dream version of you. You are reaping what you sow. But many people show up in their lives. Their entire life is invisible. That's one person you could show up as. Ask yourself, am I willing to let whatever I'm going through right now cause me to shift? Show up 20 years from now, invisibly, no one knows me. I've made no difference in other people's lives. Is that what you were born to do? Is that that glimpse of the dream in your life? You were born to do something great with your life? I am no different than you. No man or woman is different than you.

B (40:19)

We're the child of the same God.

A (40:20)

We were all born to do something.

B (40:22)

Great with our lives in big ways and in what most people think are small ways.

A (40:27)

These quiet gestures you do every day for other people that the rest of the world doesn't see on Instagram and it doesn't get you on YouTube and it doesn't get a views, but you're not invisible to them. You were not born to be invisible. Second person you could show up as in 20 years is a victim. You could have this story in 20 years. I was a victim, victim of people, A victim of my life, a victim of my circumstances. A victim, A victim, A victim. And if you believe that about yourself and you keep moving towards those thoughts, you will surely repeat them.

B (41:01)

And you will show up 20 years.

A (41:02)

In your life and as an example to your family, people who believed in you, your children, your grandchildren, your parents, your grandparents, your ancestors. And you will show up in 20 years as a victim. Something tells me that's not what you were born to be. Something tells me you were born to do something great. And you are not a victim. And you're going to rise above. And the fact that you rose above whatever you have to rise above, you're going to have one heck of a story. And you are not going to be a victim. And you're going to inspire a bunch of people who are invisible, who feel like victims, aren't you? That's the power of what you're going through. What if you were given this because there's an other self of you that's even greater than most people could imagine? Remember, the extent to what you have to overcome is the degree of who that other self is. So the more you overcome, the greater that other self is. Third person you could show up as is a hero. And that's a pretty good thing. You show up people, you're not invisible. You're not a victim. People know you. You got whatever it is. You got the great body, you got the great relationship, you got the big jet, you got the money. You show up as a hero.

B (42:04)

Many people in life aspire to be.

A (42:06)

The hero of their story. See, we're always telling ourselves a story about our lives, aren't we? We're the lead character in the story of our lives.

B (42:13)

And so many people keep telling the story from the past, and they repeat.

A (42:16)

That story because they move towards it.

B (42:18)

Or they tell the story of the.

A (42:19)

Victim or the story of the invisible, and they repeat this character over and over again. But then a lot of people start to tell the story of the hero. I'm going to be a hero.

B (42:26)

I'm going to win.

A (42:26)

I'm going to make something great with my life. And that's a powerful time in our lives. And a lot of people can get there. You see them as the coach, you see them as the teacher. They become a hero in their life. You could show up as a hero, and that's a darn good life. And it's an option you could pursue.

B (42:40)

See, a lot of times in families.

A (42:41)

When you look at families that have.

B (42:43)

Won in your life, you go, man, that family's rich. You see this house living on, these people living on the beach, or they're traveling here. So then you go, man, who are these people? I think, who are these people? You just remember this. Happy and successful families. Eventually rich families, eventually they came from someone who wasn't rich, who wasn't happy. All people that you see that are rich, happy or successful, eventually there's someone way back in their family who wasn't. And then the one showed up. Then the one. I've talked about this before. The one person shows up in a family says, nope, I'm the hero. I'm the one. I change our family tree forever. I make my family proud of me. I change our generational wealth. I change our emotions. I change the example. People in our family are going to want to be like me. I'm the one. And guys, I'll tell you, in my family, I'm the damn one. And you know what? Not only about getting rich, not only about making a difference, but people in my family now think differently than they used to think. They think bigger thoughts. They think about serving people. They think about making a difference. They believe their life can be great. Because I refuse to be invisible. I refuse to be a victim. Yeah, I'm the son of an alcoholic. Yeah, I had a difficult upbringing. Well, I'm not invisible and, well, I'm not a victim. And I became a hero in my family. And so can you. You could be the one. You can be the one. I'm the one who doesn't quit. I'm the one who doesn't give in. I'm the one who keeps growing. I'm the one who keeps dreaming. When everyone thinks I'm crazy, I'm the one. And you hold on to that being the one. You become the hero. That's an amazing life. You change your family tree forever. It's not the wealth, although it is. It's not the options and the choices.

A (44:16)

It's the memories. It's the moments. It's the contribution. But most importantly, it's the identity of your family. They don't think the same anymore.

B (44:24)

They got different thoughts. They operate differently.

A (44:27)

Their view of the world is different.

B (44:28)

Who they think they can become is different.

A (44:30)

Because of your example, there's four stages.

B (44:33)

Of people in life. There's the people that are just kind.

A (44:36)

Of, you know, they're just going through.

B (44:37)

Life unaware, not concerned.

A (44:41)

Then there's people who become motivational. Motivational people achieve things. They play to motives. Motives like get a car. You know, if you do this, you get a car, you get a house.

B (44:48)

You get money, you get a body.

A (44:50)

Motivational people are awesome. The level beyond that though is inspirational. Inspirational people move people like I hope I'm doing with you today. The root of inspiration is to be in spirit, to move people spiritually, to touch their heart, to move their emotions, to lend yourself, to move them with their higher other self. Not just their motives of stuff, but things in spirit, making a difference in people's lives. Inspirational people are very, very rare. See, most people are that dead stage. They just drift through life. Then there's a very small percentage that are motivated people and they achieve things and they have a good life. Much smaller group is inspirational, where they inspire, they move people.

B (45:31)

You can't feel it. It's an energy you feel. You can't describe it, but you feel it.

A (45:36)

And then there's a really small group that's reserved for the highest level, which is aspirational people. Aspirational people aren't just motivational or inspirational. They're aspirational, meaning that you want to be and aspire to be like them. Those are the people that change the world. The people that change the world aren't motivational. They're not quite inspirational anymore. They've moved past that. They do motivate, they do inspire, but they aspire. People aspire to be like them.

B (46:04)

That's who I want to be like.

A (46:06)

That's who I want to act like. That's the kind of person I want to be. And I would challenge you to move through these stages. If you're not motivated, become motivational and inspirational and eventually aspirational. And when you become the one for your family, when you become the hero, which is level three, you've moved into an aspirational space in your life. And then the fourth level is awesome. And that's called servant leader. And that's when you get to a point in your life where you're no longer invisible. You've moved all kinds of people in their dreams. You've become the hero for your family. And then you determine you want to dedicate your life in the service of other people exclusively. You want to aspire, inspire and aspire people to be like you. And this is where I would challenge you to want to move, become an aspirational person, and eventually become a servant leader in your life. That's the highest level of the other self.