Ed Milet (0:00)

So, hey guys, listen. We're all trying to get more productive and the question is, how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth based environment, that you're much more likely to grow and you're going to grow faster. And that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Burchard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down growthday.com forward/ed. So if you want to be more productive, by the way, he's asked me, I post videos in there every single Monday that gets your day off to the right start. Got about $5,000, $10,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with the app. Also, some of the top influencers in the world are all posting content in there on a regular basis, like having the avengers of personal development and business in one app. And I'm honored that he asked me to be a part of it as well and contribute on a weekly basis. And I do. So go over there and get signed up. You're going to get a free tuition, free voucher to go to an event with Brendan and myself and a bunch of other influencers as well. So you get a free event out of it also. So go to growthday.com forward/ed. That's growthday.com forward slash ed. Advantage Gold is giving away a free copy of Rogoff's book to anyone who schedules a one on one precious metals appointment. You'll discover why gold is becoming the number one hedge against a global currency ship. And how to move your IRA or 401k into physical gold. Tax and penalty free. Get your free copy today while supplies last text win to 85545. That's win 85545 or go to advantagegold.com data and message rates. Performance may vary. You should always consult your financial and tax professional. This is the Ed Milet Show. All right. Hey everybody. Welcome back to the show. So today I want to talk about something we all face but we rarely feel ready for and that is making difficult decisions. You know, we get questions submitted to the show often saying, would Ed please cover this topic? And over and over and over again, we're getting so many people saying, would Ed please cover how to make decisions. I have a major decision come up. I have a difficult decision coming up. Does that have a framework for making decisions? And so today we're going to talk about that thing we rarely feel ready for, but that we need to be ready for, which is making difficult decisions. Whether it's leaving a job or ending a relationship. Maybe it's pivoting a business or just choosing between two options. Maybe two good ones, maybe two feel bad. You know, how do you make a decision where both roads don't look good or maybe both do look good? So tough decisions, they test us and they stir up a lot of things in us, don't they? When you have to make a decision, that stirs up fear. I know I've had that. You can start to doubt yourself. And that nagging what if, what if I make a mistake? What if I call the wrong shot right? And it all kind of rattles around and ruminates in our head and we almost get analysis paralysis in making decisions. And if there's one thing I would say that I've really gotten good at the last 25 years of my life or so is really making decisions. I actually have a strategy, I have a process, I have philosophy about deciding things. And it serves me pretty well. I've made bad ones, believe me, but I've actually learned from those. And I kind of know what takes place when I've made bad ones and might be able to save you a bunch of time because I'm going to point some of those things out today as well. So how do we face those choices with clarity instead of anxiety when they come up? Because we need the better you. You know, when you're having fear and doubt and concern and frustration or procrastination, that is not from God. That's the enemy. If you believe in frequency and vibration. And I also believe in that. I'm just, I'm a Christian, so I believe everything great comes from God and bad things come from the enemy. But I also believe in energy. And I can tell you that it's very low vibrational frequency when you're operating out of doubt, when you make a decision out of doubt or despair or discouragement or anxiety or fear, that's a low vibrational frequency decision. A high vibrational frequency decision is one where you're making it out of clarity and confidence and not needing to be right. By the way, I want to teach you today how to go into making a decision and it's okay even if you're wrong. So I want to walk you through the way I make decisions and also why decisions can feel so heavy, how to navigate through them, and what to do once the choice is made. So you guys ready? This will be A good one. Let's get into it. And by the way, I just want to say this to you. I put out all this content, a lot of you say, why do you put out so much detailed content that, like, other people charge for on a course, whatever. Because I want to help you. And I also just ask this. The only payment back is share the show, share the episode, so that the show grows and we reach more people and more people lead lives that they're worthy of. Because I believe when there's more people on the planet leaving a worthy life, the best life they possibly can, the world's better. And that's the ripple effect of the little tiny thing I'm doing right here. So here we go. The art of making difficult decisions. I'm calling it that. Clarity in chaos. And I'm going to give you 12 thoughts, totally disconnected thoughts, as I normally do. Thought number one, your decisions shape your destiny. Clarity comes from action, not thought. So when you're sitting around, you got a decision to make, you like, I just got to think about it more, Think about it more, think about it more. Actually, that's not where clarity comes from. Clarity comes from taking an action. And so one thing I'm going to tell you is don't think so much. See, I believe the separation is in the preparation. You got to prepare. But at some point in life, you got to call the shot. You got to be a shot caller. You got to learn to take the heat if you're wrong, to apologize if you're wrong, to make a course correction, to pivot. But the people that live the best lives, they've. They've developed the ability to make decisions. And like I'm going to say later in the podcast, the truth is not making a decision is a decision. Not choosing is a choice. So clarity does not come from thinking about something over and over again and getting every piece of information you need, although you should get that. Clarity comes from action. Let me give you an example of one decision that I was a major one I was faced with making about eight, 10 years ago. And it was to move my family. We lived in Southern California. I had grown up in Southern California. Our family was there, meaning our parents were there, our kids were enrolled in school. But the fact of the matter was, financially, it was a terrible idea for me to live in California. I was paying millions of dollars a year in taxes. I didn't see those taxes going to very good use. Housing was getting crazy. I'm in a businesses, all my businesses. I can pretty much live where I want to. And so I wasn't locked down to a physical location and I had to really weigh some different things and whether we were going to move. And here's what I knew, either way it was going to be okay. But it was a major life and family decision. It would impact my mom and dad, it would impact my children, it would impact my spouse, it would impact friends, it would impact business to some extent. And so I had to weigh things. And the other part of it, why not go? Well, my kids were in school, they had deep friendships. You know, they weren't in kindergarten or first grade anymore. They were getting ready to, you know, middle school and high school. And I had to evaluate what does that do to my children and the needs of my wife and my children and they wanted to stay. And ultimately I'm going to teach you how I came to this decision in a minute. But I decided to stay until my children graduated school and sacrifice the financial for the family. And sometimes that's just, you got to weigh those things. But it was, it was a eight figure decision, to my detriment. But I made an investment in the joy and peace of mind of my family as well. And I'm going to show you how I made this decision. It wasn't just in my head, right in a minute. Then about 10 years later, the decision revisited. Circumstances and conditions changed. And now it was, should we leave? My kids had left, they were in college. And now the decision changed. It was a greater financial impact, but I didn't have the family part weighing on me. But I still had my mom there. My dad had passed away, my mother in law was there, my sisters are all there. It was a difficult decision. My nieces and nephews mainly were all there. Most all of my great friends were there versus moving. But moving meant other things. New experience, a new way of life. Certainly financially, it would be better to live where I ended up moving to Florida. And I almost felt like I had already lived that life, if that makes any sense. Like I had done it. I'd grown up there, I had lived there. Did I want to live another 20 years? And essentially the same chapter, the same place. And the conclusion that I made was the upside outweighed the downside. And we made the decision to move. And then all the things that come with that move, when do you do it? Where do you go? But it was a major life decision and I made it seamlessly. And I don't think it did hurt the family much. I don't think it did. It helped financially it didn't hurt business, it helped business, it helped peace of mind. And it's kind of started the dream machine again in my life. My point making to you is conditions change. And so then did the decision. That was one major decision I was faced with. Now, number two, how do you do that? Be aligned with your higher self over simply doing the right thing? And so what I always ask myself when I'm making decision is, does this align with the higher me? The higher me more about the money that I'd saved by moving, or is the higher me sacrificing for my children? And at that time, it was the sacrifice for my children. The hire me called me to make the decision rather easily. Now, was there times I regretted it, sure. But I think I made the right one Later, a decade later, when that same decision visited myself and I asked, will the higher me do this? The higher me couldn't find reasons that it somehow violated my morals, my principles. What I truly value in my life, higher self means, does it align with the things you value the most? And so anytime I have a decision, I ask myself, does it align with the values that I hold to be the most precious in my life? And in my life, it was my family, it was my. My. My children, my faith, the church. We were connected to those things. And when those things weren't the same variable, I was able to make a different decision. So here's a way to word it for yourself. You could write down, does this decision honor who you truly are, not who you're trying to please or impress, but who you truly are? So any decision I make, I just ask myself, does this honor? Does this decision, if I make this one, does it honor who I truly am? Not who I'm trying to impress or please other people, but what matters to me? See, this starts to give you a true north. It gives you a sense of clarity that I was referring to. And by the way, I'm going to give you 12 things. So maybe this thing I'm giving you now doesn't apply to the decision you need to make, but something will? Of the 12, I could promise you that today. It's why I always give you everything that I can. But does this decision honor who I truly am and not worrying about who it pleases or disappoints or impresses? Because those things are useless in making a decision whether to buy a watch or a car or anything. Leave your job, leave a relationship. Does it honor who you truly are? Because if you're buying it to impress other people, that's stupid. If you're trying to please other people by not staying or staying somewhere or what are people going to think if you leave your job or your career or your relationship? You're not making the decision for the right reasons. Get above it. Does this decision honor who I truly am and what I truly value? That starts to give you much more clarity and eliminate who will please who it will impress. Because that's irrelevant. Okay, this is good. Third, why decisions feel difficult. Why do they feel difficult when we make them? Well, we have a fear of regret, don't we? What if I make the wrong one, which I'm going to address a little bit later. Fear of regret. It's a big part of life, living in regret. Number two, fear of judgment. Judgment from others, but actually even of yourself. I have made decisions that later I regretted and I judged myself. You dummy. You should have known better. How did you not see that coming? Right. So because it's happened before, it could happen again. So you have these fears that build up. They're difficult because you have. You could regret it. You could have judgment of yourself. Other people could judge you. Next thing is this uncertainty and incomplete information. Decisions are difficult because you're never going to have all the information. You're never going to be completely certain. People say, I was totally certain. No, you weren't. You're not totally certain of anything. You don't know what's going to happen to you in the next 10 minutes or anybody around you. There's no such thing as complete certainty. And so when you're searching for that, if that's the measuring stick of I need to be completely certain before I make a decision, you are never going to make any decisions in your life. Well, I might regret this. You're worried about regret. You're never going to make a decision because there's going to be some you regret. As long as you learn from it, that's different. And by the way, if you're worried about being judged by other people or yourself, you are never going to make a decision because you are going to regret some of them. You are going to be judged and you're never going to have total certainty. Anybody tells you, I'm totally sure this is what we should do. No, you're pretty sure. You're reasonably sure. You're more sure you should than you shouldn't, but you're not completely sure. And you're never going to have all the information. You can't. So you got to learn to deal with that. You got to Learn to deal with the unknown. He was this great story that Carl Edwards told me, the NASCAR driver, we used to sponsor him and he was a top driver for a long time. I said, what's the most difficult thing about driving a nascar? He goes, ed, it's when there's a crash in front of you and there's all this smoke and you got to drive 160 miles an hour, 180 miles an hour through that smoke and you don't know what's on the other side. You think, ah, slow down. You can't do that because if you slow down you get rear ended for sure from a guy doing 180 behind you. So the hardest part of driving is when there's a crash, there's smoke you can't see. You don't know what's on the other side of that smoke. You gotta drive through that smoke relying on your ability to innovate, improvise, change, and frankly, fate. When you get to the other side, your preparation and the other side, you don't know at the end of that smoke, there's not four cars right there you're going to hit head on or something you're going to hit that's going to flip you up in the air and spill, spin 18 times into a wall. You don't know if on the other end of that smoke you're not dead. And sometimes you get the other end of that smoke and it's smooth sailing. There was nothing to worry about. Sometimes making decisions is, you got to drive through the smoke. And the people that are willing to drive through the smoke, they become the pros, they become the champions. Because you're not going to have all the information. All you can do is get the information you're capable of getting, evaluate it, call the shot. That's why decisions are difficult. Number four, what's the anatomy of making a difficult decision? Okay, I'm going to give you the anatomy. Number one, emotion versus logic. Okay, let me give you a couple insights from a 54 year old guy. I no longer make decisions when I'm emotional, period, End of story. When I'm really high and excited and happy, I don't make decisions. And when I'm really low down, angry, frustrated, mad, disillusioned, I don't make them then either. Typically speaking, when emotion is high, logic is low. I want to make logical decisions. That doesn't mean that we don't make some decisions in our life emotionally and then rationalize them logically. In fact, a lot of people buy things that Way you kind of figure out emotionally I'd feel this, if I had that, I'd look this way, blah blah, blah, blah blah. You have this emotional and then you logically reason and it's less than the other one. And I'll only pay it off over two years. So a lot of us make decisions emotionally and rationalize them logically. But when I'm making decisions now, I try to take as much emotion out of it as I possibly can. Now that doesn't mean feelings aren't involved. To me that's a little bit different than emotion. Feelings is, what do I feel about this, what do I feel about that person that's different than the emotion of anger or fear? You follow what I'm saying? Feeling love for somebody will help you make decisions that aren't always logical and that's okay. But the emotion of jealousy, you'll never make a good decision. The emotion of fear, the emotion of anxiety, the emotion of worry, the emotion of anger, the emotion of despair or the emotion of exhilaration. That's very different than the feeling of love when you're making a relationship, right? Or the feeling in your gut that this is the right thing to do. Feelings are great, emotion is different than that. And so I try to take emotion out and I rely on logic and how I feel. Next thing is this, when I'm making a decision. The long term impact versus a short term impact, what's the impact of this going to be in 5 minutes, 5 months, 5 years, 50 years? If it needs to be evaluated that way, what's the long term versus the short term impact? And then this, you're always navigating these things. Internal alignment versus external pressure, internal alignment, external pressure. And for me I want to rely on my internal alignment, not external pressure. When I've made decisions under external pressure, I've made bad ones. You ever have somebody say, hey, if you, if you can't buy this right now, you're going to lose the deal. That's external pressure. Usually make a bad decision or external pressure of what someone's going to think or someone forcing you into a timeline that you don't want. Right? The external pressure that if you do this, you know, what's it going to impact this thing externally? I think through my internal alignment as opposed to the external pressure. What are my parents going to think, what are my friends going to think? What's the world going to think? What's it going to do to this? I let go of that number five. Let go of ego driven choices. If Fear, control and external validation is influencing your decision. I encourage you to release that when you trust in yourself, you trust in that wisdom that created you. Let me say that to you again. If fear is driving your decision, you're in trouble. Control or any external validation, it's almost always a dumb decision. I could list for you the amount of bad decisions I've made, and almost all of them were for some sort of external validation. Fear of what other people were going to think. Control or something. Ego driven. Ego, by the way, sometimes can be to get attention, ego sometimes can be to prove yourself. Ego can be emotion. And I want to operate on logic and feeling. And so when you trust in you, you're trusting in the wisdom that created you. I'm going to talk later about trusting in God. That's what I mean by trust in you. I'm going to elaborate on that at the very end. It's step 12, spoiler alert, of course, with me. But you also got to trust yourself. What's your intuition telling you? What's your discernment telling you? What's your gut telling you? See, if I make a decision and it goes the wrong way, but I did it based on my internal dialogue, my internal clock, my internal compass, my internal belief systems aligns with who I am. I've prayed about it, I've looked introspectively, I've trusted my gut and I got it wrong, I can live with that. But when I make a decision that was out of ego or fear or anger or jealousy or emotion, or I hope I can get attention from this, or what are other people going to think about me? And then it goes wrong. That's hard to live with. So I want to make sure the framework of the decision I make is right so that I can live with it. That's wrong. But you imagine making a decision out of ego or anger, which we've all done in our life, or ecstasy or joy or euphoria or some bizarre emotion that's taking place at the time or when we're really down. Think about the millions of people that have decided to end their own lives in the moment they were down. The worst possible decision they could make in their life, they made when they were down. You'd never make that same decision if you were up or in the middle. You'd never make that decision if it aligned. What about anybody who's, you know, done something to harm another person in a really terrible way? Crimes of passion, it's almost always out of emotion. Crimes of passion aren't just Violent crimes. In our society, we commit crimes of passion on ourselves, often in the way we treat ourselves or the decisions we make. Passion about somebody that logically, you know isn't good for you, they don't treat you well, they're not earnest with you, they don't tell you the truth. But you commit a crime of passion and stay with them or decide to get into a relationship or have a child with them or you in a workplace where they mistreat you or they don't do things ethically as a company that even are aligned with who you are, but you work there because they give you a big paycheck. It's a poor decision. It'll eventually bite you. We've kept people in businesses I have that I knowingly knew weren't good people. But they were really productive and eventually that was a crime of passion. They should have been let go and they eventually let themselves go or get fired and make a big mistake when they do. So make the decision out of alignment for yourself. You can live with it if you're wrong, but when it's the other, it's hard to live with ever. No crimes of passion on yourself or your own life. Certainly never other people. And by the way, I'm not equating a violent crime with a dumb decision. I'm giving you a metaphor. Anything you've seen me do online, Shopify's probably been involved in it. I was at a speaking engagement this weekend. There were three other very prominent influencers there and each of them were talking about how they use Shopify in their businesses right now, this day, just like I do. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US is Shopify. Household names like Mattel, Gymshark to brands that are just getting started with no clients yet. And so I can tell you Shopify is something you need to investigate to help you with your business online. Best yet, Shopify is your e commerce expert with world class expertise in everything from managing inventory to international shipping to processing returns and beyond. Turn your big business idea into with Shopify on your side, sign up for your 1 month $1 per month trial period and start selling today at shopify.com shop mylet go to shopify.com mylet shopify.com mylet this show is sponsored by BetterHelp. So you know guys, men today face immense pressure and they got to be able to perform, provide. They got to keep it all together. I know, I'm a guy, right? Stuff isn't easy. So it's no wonder that 6 million men in the US suffer from depression every year. Think about what I just said. Six million men admit to suffering from depression every year. My hunch, that number is more like twice that. And it's often not even diagnosed by most people. If you're a man and you're feeling a little bit of stress, the weight of the world on you, maybe you should look at therapy. And if you're going to look at therapy, take a look at BetterHelp. I can tell you I've had therapy in my life. It's made a big difference. With over 35,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Talk it out with BetterHelp, our listeners get 10% off their first month@betterhelp.com Ed Show. That's better. H E L P.com Ed show number six stillness reveals truth. The power of silence and meditation and accessing divine guidance is so powerful. Remember this. The quiet mind is where clarity lives. Get quiet. Get away from the noise. Get alone. Get prayerful. Empty your mind. Take a walk. Yes, walking is exercise. Doesn't build muscle, but it's exercise. The quiet mind is where clarity lives. Walking is great exercise for the soul, for the body, and for the mind. I don't try to make any significant decisions until my mind is quiet and quiet repeatedly. By the way, a little rule of thumb for me is when I really wanted to buy something that I knew was stupid, I just wait a month to see if I still want it. A month from now and 99 out of a hundred times a month later, that stupid desire, that crime of passion I wanted to have to buy that thing or that blah blah blah that people will think I'm amazing when I have goes away and logic sets in. The quiet mind is where clarity lives. If you want to make a clear decision, quiet your mind, get away from the noise and only make the decision out of a quiet place, not a loud place. So instead of pushing or forcing a decision, try listening to what your inner guidance is saying beneath the noise. I really believe the answer is there. I really do. Get quiet, slow down, take the emotion away. Get away. Mentally, the answer's there. You'll get the inner guidance Number seven. Here's a decision making toolkit for you. Okay, here we go. The 10-10-10 rule. How will I feel about this decision in 10 minutes? 10 months or 10 years earlier, I said 5 minutes, etc. But a framework that I'll often use depending on the magnitude of the decision. 10 minutes from now, how will I feel about this decision? 10 months from now? 10 years from now? Next. Values based decision making. Does this align with who I want to be? Maybe it's not just who you are currently, but who you aspire. You may say, right now I don't like me very much, or right now I've made other mistakes. So yeah, it does align. I make. I've made a bunch of stupid choices. This is just another one. No, who you want to be. If you don't feel good about who you are right now, you go, that alignment with who I am, I'm capable of making about you. How about aligning it with who you want to be? Or by the way, what would the person you admire most in their life, in your life do about this decision? What would so and so do is not a bad thing. Many times in my life since he's passed away, I've asked myself, what would my dad do here? What would dad do? Because it's just, it's. It's the barometer. So values based decision making. Next, you got to understand the difference between reversible versus irreversible decisions. There's a framework for it. You can go look at it. Bezos has this Great thing, type, type 1 versus type 2 framework. But for me, I just ask myself, is this reversible? It's kind of like booking a flight. I'm going to go on Thursday. But it's a cancelable, reversible ticket, transferable ticket. Okay, that's one level of decision. One when there's no cancellation involved. And that's it. That's a different level of scrutiny. Reversible versus irreversible. And then the last one in the framework here is the gut check. Not the last of the podcast, just the gut. The last one under this level, the gut check. How do you feel when you imagine having already chosen it? In other words, project forward. You made the decision. How's it feel? You can actually do that? You can project forward. I called the shot to leave the company. Sit in it for a minute. How's this feel? I called the shot to enter this relationship with this person sitting at. How's it feel? I called the shot to move to Florida. Sit in it for a minute, how's it feel? And then ask yourself, what do I want and what am I afraid of? At some point, you just got to get honest with yourself. When you're making a decision, what is it that you want and what are you afraid of? And, like, shake yourself up a little bit when it starts to happen, change your physiology. Go work out. Go take a walk. Go lift, go stretch. Because when you change your physiology, what do I want and what am I really afraid of? And when you start to put that out there and you're really honest with yourself, name the fear. What is it that you're afraid of? I'm afraid they're going to think this. Like, get really honest. Is this fear a fact or is it a feeling? Am I afraid of falling or failing or am I afraid of success? Like, get real, maybe something. Afraid of success. I don't relate to that one, but, I mean, I'm afraid of success. Really? Are you? Well, what are you afraid of? Name it, say it, Put it out there, get above it. Let's put some light on the boogeyman, right? You'll figure out really quick whether that boogeyman's for real or not. Okay? It's really important to name the fear and to take action, because action is where the decision is made. Number eight, here's some common traps to avoid. Man, I feel like I'm overwhelming you with info today, but here we go. Number one, Overthinking, Analysis, paralysis. You could just overthink. Most of you do. I've done it. Don't overthink it. Get the info, call the shot, move on with your life. You'll be okay. Really, you'll be okay. In fact, the most successful people I know are the best decision makers. They. They process information quickly. They call the shot, they move on. They live with the results. They call the shot, they move on. They live with the results because they can pivot, they can adjust. They'll figure it out. Because here's the deal. What if they could both work? You know, most of the time in my life, they both work. You know the truth? Had I stayed in California, probably would have worked, Moved to Florida, probably worked. Had you stayed at that company, it might have worked. Had you left, it probably worked. Most things are. It's not this. Is this fallacy, like, good, you know, like, if I make the wrong decision. Why don't you rely on your ability and God's blessing and grace that it'll probably both work, Give you a lot more confidence making the decision. Okay, so common traps to avoid overthinking, outsourcing your power. Number one, letting other people decide for you. I don't do that. I don't ask for a lot of advice. And when I do, they're still not making the decision. I'm just getting their advice. So don't make the mistake of overthinking. Don't outsource your power and have other people make decisions for you. Third, don't ignore your intuition entirely. You can't rely completely on intuition, but don't ignore it. If something's screaming at you, like really screaming at you inside, listen to it. If it's whispering, listen to it as well. And then the last trap to Avoid Waiting too long Sometimes a right decision made immediately, with authority and conviction is better than a timid decision made later. Even if it were right, let me say it to you again. Sometimes deciding and vehemently, aggressively executing your plan, even if it might not have been the perfect decision, is better than waiting longer and then timidly making the perfect decision. Don't wait too long. The man who shaped US Monetary policy just released a bombshell book called Our Dollar your Problem. In it, former IMF chief economist Kenneth Raghav warns the US dollar's dominance is under attack and if the US dollar falls, your savings could be at risk. That's why Advantage Gold is giving away a free copy of Ragoff's book to anyone who schedules a one on one precious metals appointment. Text WIN to 85545. You'll discover why gold is becoming the number one hedge against a global currency ship and how to move your IRA or 401k into physical gold, tax and penalty free and how to get up to $10,000 in free gold and silver with a qualifying account. Get your free copy today while supplies last. Text WIN to 85545 that's WIN 85545 or go to advantagegold.com that's advantagegold.com data and message. Rate supply performance may vary. You should always consult your financial and tax professional. Now. 9. How do you live with your decision? Own it. Even if it's imperfect, own it. Just own it. It's okay. Great people make bad decisions. They own it. You know what else they do? Learn from it. I'm here today making better decisions in my life because I've learned from a bunch of stupid ones. I've made dumb investments. I've trusted the wrong people. I've done. That's not even the beginning of the list. I've just. I've just done dumb things and I've learned from it and I don't repeat it. And so sometimes that bad decision is a blessing because you learned a lesson way More valuable than the pain it caused. I've lost a lot of money and some stupid investments. And you know what? I have more money because I didn't repeat that mistake. And maybe I would have made a really catastrophic one had I not learned on the mid sized ones. And then here's the other thing. Reassess when new information arises. You know, I used to not want to change my mind a lot because I thought leaders need to be consistent in their thinking. You know what I've realized in my life? Great leaders say, well, hold on a minute, I got it wrong. Or I've got more information now, I've changed my mind. It's okay to change your mind. In fact, that's what smart people do. Smart people say, I've learned something, I've got more information. I now know things I didn't know. I'm changing my mind. It's a good thing. Not allowed to say that in politics, in the world, like you imagine a politician going, whoops, got it wrong, sorry, I've got more information now. Now I'm going to get it right. I'd follow that politician through a wall. But no one can say it because we get punished for changing our mind in the world today. And so it's okay to change your mind. In fact, you should. In fact, if you haven't changed your mind about something in the last five or 10 years, what were you doing living a life that you didn't learn any new information, you haven't changed your opinion about anything. Like actually reflect on that. I haven't changed my mind about anything the last five or 10 years. I would say to you, you're not so smart. I've changed my mind about a lot of things. I'd like to change my mind about some more because I'm gonna get more information. I'm not right about everything. In fact, the older I've gotten, do you know what I've realized? I know very little. When I was young and in my 20s and 30s, I thought I knew everything, even my 40s. And now as I've aged a little bit and gotten older, I realized I don't know that much. In fact, there's way more I don't know than I do know. And what's good about that is it helps me be curious. It takes pressure off of me. No one knows anything. Let me say something to you. Most people are just winging their way through this life, including the most successful ones. You make from one mistake, one decision to the next, just trying to grow the smart Ones learn. The smart ones have courage to call shots. The smart ones know I could probably make them both work eventually. God will probably make it work both ways, okay? But the fact of the matter is, most people are winging it. There's. There's no magic sauce. No one has all the answers. There's no playbook, okay? And I, I, I'm telling you, the top people in the world have all been on my show. You know what they all have in common? They're winging it. They're making most of it up as they go. They're learning from one to the next. The great ones don't make the same mistakes multiple times. But no one has this all figured out. As a dad, I made mistakes all the time. I mean, can you imagine that? So I'm never going to have kids because I might make a mistake? No. Overall, I'm going to get better and better and better. Number 10, what do people do to get it? Number one, they don't operate on that false premise that only one of the decisions is right. It's a false premise. That's the enemy trying to get you to pucker up and not make any decision. Number two, they trust their inner compass. Let me say this to you. There's strength in choosing. Even when it's hard, it takes strength to choose. You'll be stronger for choosing. Call a shot. Make the decision. Remember this I said earlier, not choosing. It's a choice. When you're not choosing and you're not deciding, you're choosing. In fact, here's what you're choosing. I said in the very beginning, your decisions shape your destiny. When you don't make the decisions you need to make in your life, when you just delay them and delay them and you're afraid and afraid and afraid, what gets robbed is the world. What gets robbed is you. Because you'll never achieve your destiny. In order for you to achieve your destiny, you're going to have to make a series of difficult decisions in your life and live with the consequences. And by the way, get a few wrong and learn from those. It's all progression. Here's the good news. It all ends in the same place. It all ends in the same place. Can I say something to you as a friend? And I know this is empty because I don't know your situation, but I actually do know your situation because I've got a relationship with my savior. Everything's going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay. Right? Before you make the decision, just tell yourself that everything's going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay. Number 11. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Every path is the right path. If it leads you back to yourself here, you got to do detach from the outcome. Call the shot and detach from the outcome. You can't control the outcome. You can only control the decision. You can control the work you do. There's this great quote by Ta Te Ching, do your work, then step back. That's the only path to serenity. Do your work, make your decision, then step back. Detach from the outcome. That's the path to serenity. Once you made a decision from alignment, release control over what happens next, you made the decision the right way from the right place, with the right framework, with the right heart and the right mind for the right reasons. And it probably both will work out anyway. And if it doesn't, you can look at yourself in the mirror and go, I did it right. I just got it wrong. And that's okay. Everything's going to be okay. And then number 12, pray about it. Pray about it. Get prayerful. Whatever your faith is, pray about it. I'm a Christian, so I rely on the scriptures that I read. But when I have a decision to make, I pray. Like that move I made, like whether I continue doing this podcast, like all kinds of decisions I make in my life. Proverbs 3, verse 5 and 6 says, Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Can I just say that one to you again, even if you're not a believer? Just feels good, huh? Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Feels good, huh? Feels good. It'll be all right. James 1, verse 5. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. It's all going to be okay. Ask God. Get some confirmation. And I could tell you that I think a great life is a person who makes great decisions. I really do believe it shapes your destiny. I took a lot of time today on this one for you because I know at least one piece of it fits something you're deciding right now. And I think you should use this as a resource for any decisions you make. Because it'll fit the piece that's next. Maybe all of it fits, I don't know. But I actually did this today with you in mind and just sharing with you my own experiences in my life. I don't know if you're going to call the right shot. I kind of figure both of them will probably work out, but even if they don't, as long as you make the decisions the way I've described here, you can live with it. And the good news is, is at the end of your life, it all ends up in the same place anyway. But if you make the right decisions for the right reasons, I believe you end up meeting your destiny, because that's what shapes it. All right, everybody. I hope today was good. I was excited to do this one with you, and I feel great about it. So if you enjoyed it, please share it with anybody you love or care about or believe in. Anybody at work, anybody at church, anybody on a team, any families you care about. And then I'd encourage you to be on my email list. By the way, if you're not, go to edmilet.com and get on my email list. So you get the podcast a little bit early. God bless you. Max Out. This is the Ed Milan Show.