Priscilla Shirer: The Secret to Saying No!

Summary

THE ED MYLETT SHOW
Episode: Priscilla Shirer: The Secret to Saying No!
Date: May 26, 2026
Host: Ed Mylett
Guest: Priscilla Shirer

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Episode Overview

In this deeply insightful episode, Ed Mylett sits down with renowned speaker, author, and ministry leader Priscilla Shirer to discuss the power and necessity of learning to say “no” in a culture obsessed with busyness and achievement. The conversation dives into how intentional choices, faith, and personal rhythms can transform both productivity and personal fulfillment. Priscilla shares practical strategies and poignant reflections on trusting God, maintaining margin in life, relinquishing control, family priorities, and the art of presence both at home and in professional arenas.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Illusion of Busyness and the Power of Saying No

• Priscilla Shirer on busyness:
  “We kind of live in a culture that creates a vortex of busyness that if you're not intentional, it will consume you… I've had to learn how to just say good, solid no’s. And I mean, honestly, it's… There are more no's than yeses.” (02:31)
• No’s Create Opportunities:
  Every “no” is seen as an opportunity for a more meaningful “yes.” Priscilla shares stories of regretting yeses made from guilt or fear, realizing those frequently disrupted family or personal priorities (02:31).

2. Fear of Losing Momentum vs. Opening Doors for Others

• On success and letting go:
  Ed raises the fear of losing momentum by saying “no.” Priscilla responds with a profound perspective:
  “Every time that I have said no… I have actually opened up a window of opportunity for somebody coming up behind me. If I'm too insecure to open up that gap, then I'm actually standing in the way of somebody else who might be coming up behind me…” (04:40)

3. Trusting God in the Season You’re In

• The constant challenge of surrender:
  “It's a constant, daily, weekly, monthly, OK, the next 24 hours, what does God ask me to do? I’m going to show up and do that to the best of my abilities, and I'm going to leave the outcome to him.” (08:56)
• Letting go and enjoying life:
  Priscilla relates the lesson of letting go, especially as a mother, and how striving for control leads to stress and blocks real enjoyment (07:32).

4. Building Margin and Life Rhythm

• Defining margin:
  “The blank space on my calendar is not a threat to me. I'm not afraid of it… That margin becomes an invitation not only to enjoy the regular rhythms of life, but also the surprises that I feel like we work ourselves out of that God wants to give us.” (10:03)
• The value of rhythm:
  Priscilla and Ed discuss the importance of having a sustainable, intentional life rhythm, instead of being controlled by the highlight reels of others on social media (12:33).

5. Auditing Dreams and Evolving Priorities

• Ed reflects on changing goals:
  “I audit my dreams now… I'm sort of regularly prayerfully asking for guidance and a little bit of auditing of what is important to me now at 55 as opposed to at 25 or 35.” (13:23)

6. Crafting the Art of Communication

• Priscilla on her upbringing:
  “I was in a masterclass for communications… My dad has been my pastor since I was one year old. Every Sunday, pretty much for my entire life, I have watched Tony Evans preach. He is a master orator… His ability to make sure the message is concise and clear.” (16:22)
• Practice and encouragement:
  She reveals that excellence comes from both absorption and practice, even when early results aren’t perfect:
  “In exercising that, you don’t know that you’re building one layer on top of another, and there’s maturity coming as you’re going.” (19:24)

7. The Value of Editing and Simplicity

• On less being more:
  “It’s that way in most areas of life, even in the most fundamental, silly ways, like your closet… You edit that stuff and get it down to some good things that you actually wear that you like. They fit you now in this season of life, and you space it out. You start enjoying what you have and utilizing what you have more, because there’s less.” (22:07)

8. Relationships, Seasons, and Re-evaluating Priorities

• Periodic re-evaluation:
  Both discuss how evolving seasons of life require recalibrating relationships, habits, and even fitness routines—sometimes letting go is necessary for growth and well-being (23:23).

9. Don’t Delay Joy—Embrace the Current Moment

• Captivating anecdote (from TV show ‘The Madison’):
  Ed and Priscilla discuss the tendency to delay happiness (“kicking your bliss down the road”), and the pain of missing out when the time finally arrives:
  “I would tell my younger self, this is it. You’re in it. If you will milk and enjoy and treasure and take the opportunity to really engage with the people that are in this season...what you need for the next piece is in the piece you’re in.” (27:27)

10. Intentionally Prioritizing Family

• Making hard decisions and sacrifices:
  Priscilla shares how she and her husband chose to prioritize family (“If you couldn’t be with us, we weren’t going”), even when it meant professional sacrifices:
  “We could have been gone all the time. We decided that if you couldn’t be with us, we weren’t going… that was a decision your dad and I made.” (35:29)

11. Confidence, Humility, and the Blessings of Faith

• Balancing confidence and humility:
  “Definitely the faith. Because, you know, I’m just so aware that except for the grace of God, I mean, where would we be…? I think family humbles you… You have people around you that have been in your life, whether it’s your family or friends… that kind of just reminds you, we’re all out here doing important things. Mine is not more important than their thing, even if it’s less broad…” (39:52)

12. Responding to Church Disappointment & Why Faith Matters

• Extending grace to people hurt by the church:
  “Let it press you into him [God]. It’s his invitation. It’s an opportunity for you to see that he is not them. Heaven is not Earth, and you’re dissatisfied with it because you were made for something more… There’s only one perfect one who ever existed. It’s not me, not you, not anybody around you. We’ve put that expectation on them, and that’s why it continues to devastate us. But there’s only one perfect one. His name is Jesus. And he’ll give you the peace you’ve been looking for.” (43:43)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On saying no:
  “There are more no’s than yeses. But the no’s… every no creates an opportunity for a yes.” — Priscilla Shirer (02:31)

• On trusting God:
  “I’m trusting God with this season, just like I did with the last one. And I’m just expecting that he’s going to honor me as I seek to keep honoring him.” — Priscilla Shirer (05:37)

• On margin:
  “The blank space on my calendar is not a threat to me. I’m not afraid of it.” — Priscilla Shirer (10:03)

• On the cost of lost moments:
  “What you need for the next piece is in the piece you’re in. And if you miss it, you’ll look back on the season… and go, oh my goodness. There were treasures I missed.” — Priscilla Shirer (27:27)

• On family priorities:
  “Unless you choose priorities and then mold your life around those priorities, those priorities will be watered down. Life will take you in different directions.” — Priscilla Shirer (36:46)

• On grace and disappointment from Christians:
  “There’s only one perfect one who ever existed. It’s not me, not you, not anybody around you.” — Priscilla Shirer (44:50)

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Important Timestamps

• 02:31 — Priscilla on saying no, busyness as a cultural vortex, and how she’s learned to create margin.
• 04:40 — The fear of losing momentum and why making space is a gift to others.
• 07:32 — What trusting God looks like in day-to-day life and the link to letting go of control.
• 10:03 — The meaning and benefits of “margin”; practical examples from her daily life.
• 12:33 — Life rhythm, social media, and the trap of others’ highlight reels.
• 13:23 — Ed on evolving dreams, energy, and prayerful reassessment.
• 16:22 — Priscilla describes the impact of her father Tony Evans, family environment, and lessons on communication.
• 22:07 — The value of editing, simplicity, and parallels between life’s clutter and personal fulfillment.
• 27:27 — Don’t delay happiness or purpose—embrace each season (“This is it. You’re in it.”).
• 35:29 — Prioritizing family and the intentional decisions behind work-life balance.
• 39:52 — Confidence and humility: how faith and family ground Priscilla, and the importance of perspective.
• 43:43 — Addressing those who’ve been hurt by church or Christians and the distinctiveness of true faith in Jesus.

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Tone, Language, and Closing Thoughts

Throughout the episode, both Ed and Priscilla maintain a tone that’s warm, candid, and inviting—balancing deep vulnerability with strong faith and practical wisdom. Their dialogue is peppered with humor, mutual admiration, and shared personal stories, making the core messages accessible and heartfelt.

Priscilla’s humility, clarity, and authenticity shine throughout, as she consistently encourages listeners to be intentional in their choices, embrace the imperfections of life, and recognize the divine in the ordinary. Ed expresses genuine gratitude for the discussion, highlighting its personal impact and universal relevance.

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Summary Takeaways

• Saying “no” is a skill essential for long-term fulfillment—it opens space for what truly matters.
• Trusting God through each season allows space for unexpected blessings and eases anxiety from the need for control.
• Margin (free space) in our lives isn’t wasted—it’s where rest, creativity, and divine surprises happen.
• Embrace the “now”—every season has its own unique treasures and lessons.
• True priorities (like family) require intentional sacrifice and boundary-setting.
• Faith isn’t about perfect people; it’s about a perfect God who meets us in every imperfect moment.

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This episode is essential listening for anyone seeking to reclaim their time, deepen their faith, or simply live more intentionally—whether as a busy professional, a parent, or someone longing for more peace amid life’s noise.

Transcript

[A]

So good, so good, so good.

[B]

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[A]

This is the Ed Milan show. All right, welcome back to the show, everybody. So I got to tell you, there's a buzz around the arena that we're doing this in right now that this lady's on our show. I'm speaking at an event that she's also speaking at today. And they've informed me that she is by far the biggest draw of all the speakers, like 85 times the draw that I am. And there's a reason for it. She's also the most incredible speaker you will ever see, ever in your life. She's incredible. I've watched her. She's just. She's unreal. But she's not just a speaker. She's an author. She's a mother. She's got going Beyond Ministries. You probably know her from the war room. She's just super famous.

[B]

What is happening right now, it's awesome.

[A]

And she's one of the people that's been on my list for years to get a chance to interview. And I've met her recently and she's so nice and person and so humble. You know, when you have somebody that you all admire like you do this woman, she's even better in person. And I think you're going to enjoy the time with her today. Priscilla Shire, welcome to the show.

[B]

Thank you for having me. I appreciate you so much. It's true.

[A]

Wait till this crowd hears you. Okay, let's start in the very beginning.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

What's it like to be you? And I mean it from this way. Let me tell you the way that I mean it. You're busy. And so people listening this may not relate to being in movies or writing books or having ministry work or all that stuff, but they do relate to being busy. So you're a mother, you're a wife, you've got all these different business ventures that you do, yet you show up with really present energy. Every time that I've met you and I'm with you, including today, I'm wondering how you do that. If you have any strategies you use or anything like that you'd share with busy people.

[B]

Well, who's not busy? You know what I mean? We kind of live in a culture that creates a vortex of busyness that if you're not intentional, it will consume you. So it's. It's something I'm not perfect at for sure. It's kind of like we're growing and ebbing and flowing and maturing in this our whole lives. But, man, I've had to learn how to just say good, solid nos. And I mean, honestly, it's. There are more no's than yeses. But the no's. Every no creates an opportunity for a yes. I realized a long time ago that if I say yes to something out of guilt because maybe they've asked four times before and I haven't been able to do it, or yes, out of fear of missing out, it's an opportunity. Every time I said yes for those reasons, I regretted it. Because I'd get to that day and my kid has a soccer game. Yeah, I'd get to that day and goodness gracious, I could have taken a vacation that week with my husband. But now there's something planted in the middle of the week that I didn't say yes to for pure reasons. So that happens enough to you, and you have that feeling of remorse that you didn't say an honest, genuine yes, Then it starts to not be worth it anymore. So I appear far more busy than I am. I appear far more busy than I am because from the outside looking in, it looks like I'm everywhere doing everything. And I'm really not. I'm home most of the month. If I'm gone twice a month because I've said yes to those two things, then that's gonna be two 24 to 48 hour periods that I'm away. Other than that, I'm at home really good.

[A]

I wish I'd have asked you that about 14 years ago.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

Because I'm just. I'm not good at that. You know why? And I want to ask you this. I think this is why people say yes. Well, I think there's a lot of reasons. One is people pleasing or whatever, but also the fear of losing momentum, of Course you ever have that fear. I mean, I wasn't joking in the beginning. I was being serious. I said it lighthearted. But you've built this massive following and notoriety and frankly, influence. And I wonder if you worry ever. That's a good question that I've asked other people on the show. I had Sebastian Maniscalco, the comedian, I said, do you worry you're gonna lose it? And. Cause he said, I have a hard time. And he said, yes, I do. And I've asked a lot of people that, and they say they worry that. I wonder that that doesn't impact you.

[B]

I will say that it occurs to me that there's always the possibility there that if you're not saying all the yeses and you're not doing all the things, there is. There is a cost to that. There is a loss to that momentum. I don't know that it worries me. I am grateful for the reality. And again, this is something that I don't want to sound like I'm a master at it. No, it's something that I have to kind of regulate constantly because you're watching other look like their thing is growing faster or more exponentially. I look forward, though, to the fact that when I have said no to something for whatever those reasons are, I have actually opened up a window of opportunity for somebody coming up behind me that if I'm too insecure to open up that gap, then I'm actually standing in the way of somebody else who might be coming up behind me and just needs a place to be. But I'm so insecure that I keep showing up in the spaces that are now meant for them. Wow.

[A]

Wow, wow.

[B]

I kind of keep that in my mind. That man, when I was 20 something, there were some people in their 50s that started to have different priorities. Maybe in that season because of grandkids coming along, they were secure enough to say their nose. That somebody sat there and thought, well, you know what? There's this little girl named Priscilla. She's 27. Let's just give her a chance. There had to be a gap and a space for that. So I'm at least aware of that. I can't say that it worries me. I'm aware of the loss of momentum. Sometimes that just comes with age. The relevancy to a certain context might not be the same when you're in the age or space or season that you're in. So I'm aware that that could happen for a number of reasons. But it doesn't worry me. I'm Trusting God with this season, just like I did with the last one. And I'm just expecting that he's going to honor me as I seek to keep honoring him.

[A]

Gosh, that was so good. You hear that a lot from believers. I'm just going to trust in God.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And obviously, I think most people know your background. Your father.

[B]

Yeah, he's a good dad.

[A]

Good dad.

[B]

A good mom and good dad.

[A]

And led a lot of people to Jesus as well. Right. And I've never asked anybody this before because I say it too. And I've become much better. Matter of fact, my word for this year is surrender.

[B]

It's a good word. It's a hard word.

[A]

It is a hard word. Right. And so I'm just wondering. It's a hard question, but you're so such an ability. There are bright people. Right. And then a rarer ability is to have what I consider high IQ or eq, which I think you have. And then the ability to articulate a thought, you just. I'm going to ask you about that later. But what does that look like? Like relying on God. Because everybody says that because someone's driving in their car, they're running on the treadmill right now, they have a problem and they're. They're running. They're ruminating it over and over in their mind, thinking, if I just keep thinking about this again, I'm going to find a different answer. Right. That's what we think. I know I do it. What does it look like? Like, day to day, I'm going to trust God in this season or rely on God. What's that like?

[B]

Hard.

[A]

That's what it's like.

[B]

But I will say it is easier. I have to just kind of reconcile the fact that it is easier for some personality types than it is for others. Wow, I'm an easygoing personality type. There are some people, friends and family members that I have. We can have the same conversation and the answer will be completely different because they're more type A, kind of a perfectionist by nature. I'm more of a relaxed personality, really. So, yeah. So I would say that it probably is easier for me to come to that. But we're all human and want some modicum of control or management of our family life or our business life. We'd love to have it packaged a little bit more clearly. And I think that as time has gone on, the main thing that has helped me to relax and need to trust God more fully is having kids. It's this constant reality that I've got to let go. That to the extent that I try to manage and control is the extent to which I'm going to experience more and more stress and anxiety and not be able to actually enjoy them. So it's something that being a mom has begun to work even more in me. Let go. 20 years old, 21 years old, 22 years old. Let go, Coach. Offer advice, but release. Now I can enjoy you because I'm not trying to control you. That principle has been true with other areas of my life. Okay, Lord, I'm struggling because I'd love to be able to manage this thing and control this thing. I'm just going to do my part, be prepared, make sure that I'm honing the craft, the skill, the opportunity you've given me. I'm going to do my part. But if I keep trying to do your part, then I'm not going to enjoy this ride of life because I'm going to be too busy trying to manage it and step into that God margin. So over time and again, I'm talking about this like I'm an expert in it and I'm not. It's a constant, daily, weekly, monthly. Okay. The next 24 hours, what does God ask me to do? I'm going to show up and do that to the best of my abilities, and I'm going to leave the outcome to him.

[A]

My goodness. That's one of the best answers we've had on the show. That was such, by the way, that model earlier, too, that you said about saying no to things and just reflecting on things you're saying and that it opens up other yeses. That's a faith thing as well.

[B]

It is a.

[A]

It's trusting that God's going to open up these other doors as you let other people walk through the ones it's their time to walk through.

[B]

Yeah, absolutely. And I think that when we don't have margin.

[A]

What's margin mean? I know what it means, but yeah, blank space.

[B]

The blank space on my calendar is not a threat to me. I'm not afraid of it. I look at that blank space on a Saturday, on a Sunday, on a Monday, on a Tuesday, and what that means is I can take a walk without the pressure of I've got to hurry up and catch a flight. I got to hurry. The pressure of another important thing on my calendar. That margin allows me to take the walk, to have the conversation with my husband, to write without interruption because I can just spend the four hours writing or studying or baking the bread for my family or Doing a thing because there's space there to do it. Without my mental real estate being taken up with the pressure of something that actually I have to go do as well. That margin becomes an invitation not only to enjoy the regular rhythms of life, but also the surprises that I feel like we work ourselves out of that God wants to give us. But we don't even have enough resource of time, of patience, of energy, of wisdom or insight. We're so tapped out all the time that we don't have an overflow to engage the stranger who stops us in the line at Starbucks and strikes up a conversation instead of being annoyed at that person. Now I have a little bit of margin to smile back and have a little three minute conversation because all my space isn't crowded. And that conversation hopefully is not only a blessing to them, but it becomes a blessing to me. Like God surprises me. Oh my goodness, I'm so glad I had this moment of margin to interact with this person and now this. What could have been an interruption is an invitation and a divine moment that I can enjoy.

[A]

That's tremendous.

[B]

So I've just enjoyed those pockets of margin. God kind of fills them in with little winks from heaven.

[A]

I didn't know we were going to go here. And what I was just thinking when you were talking, so help me go one more layer on it. It almost sounds like there's a life rhythm to your existence and that's why you're fully, you can be fully present. I was just thinking in other areas, like if you're an athlete, rhythm matters, right? If you're enjoying a party or a dance or prayer or whatever, there's a rhythm, there's a pace, there's a cadence to it. I almost feel like in our culture today, with social media and speed and the news and who did this and we're. That we've lost the desire or even the consciousness of being in a rhythm in our lives, of having some pace and rhythm and cadence to our existence. Does that sound right?

[B]

I agree with you. And it's being controlled by a rhythm we're watching in other people's lives that's perceived, it's created, it's filtered. So it looks like the rhythm of their life is that way or the cadence of their life is that way. But we're just seeing their highlights, we're just seeing the bits and pieces they give us. And then we're trying to keep up with it and model ourselves after it. And we don't know the cost, we don't know the price they're paying. We don't know the lack of peace they have or the lack of sleep they have. We don't know what their family life is like. But we're trying to match it, and it's costing us in ways that we have never anticipated. Now, it's your podcast, but I have to ask you about the exact same thing, because I look at your world and your life and how engaged you are with people and how much you're doing, and I wonder about that for you. How do you manage sort of the rhythm of your life?

[A]

That's such a great question. I've learned a little bit of another level of it just sitting here with you. Because, by the way, it's actually true what you said. Like, we've even talked about doing this show for many, many months and finally the time was right. And I really admire that about you. I think part of what you said earlier for me has been age. And also it'd be cool for two people that have had the blessing of some achievement to share this. In all honesty. I audit my dreams now. Things that mattered to me at 25 or 35, which was just that season of my life, which is healthy at that season of my life, no longer are as important to me. And so I'm. I'm sort of regularly prayerfully asking for guidance and a little bit of auditing of what is important to me now at 55 as opposed to at 25 or 35. And I think I've done a better job of choosing things that I just had a conversation this morning, ironically, very well known person in the personal development space, one of my dearest friends, she called me this morning in kind of a not feeling great mode. It was actually. I was getting ready for another podcast and I was a little bit late because I was so deeply engaged in this. And I said to her, she's just a little bit like, what should I be doing? I'm not sure. And I said, at this stage of my life, if it gives me energy when I do it, I'm not saying it's not work, speaking is work. But if I feel energized, my soul feels fulfilled at this stage, I want to do more of it. But if I'm looking at my calendar and everything on it is, I can't wait till that's over. I don't want my calendar to be loaded with that. Now, there are certain stages of life, I think you'd agree, where you just have to do difficult things.

[B]

You do the thing that's Next you

[A]

do the thing that's next. But in between those gaps or that margin that you said, I have given myself more space. I have played a little bit more golf. I am. I pray more times a day now and more engaged in my conversation with God than I've ever been. It's not like, oh, it's 9:30. I'm gonna hit my knees and say my prayers now. It's all the time or anytime. So that's changed things for me. And I think it's made me lighter. I don't think I'm quite as. I think my tendency, like you don't have. I think I'm. I can be heavy. You know what I mean? Like, I can be wound up and heavy. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm an intense guy who, you know, and I'm just. I'm a little lighter. It's a little lighter to be around me. By the way, how do you do this? This is what I. The. This I'm referring to. You have an anointing to communicate. Is it just an anointing or have you worked at it? Like, you're an incredible actress. You also have this form of expression of writing that you've been great at. And you are electric on stage. I mean, you are.

[B]

Clearly, that means a lot coming from you.

[A]

Thank you, by the way. And I mean. And I mean that I am a little bit of. I think my ability to compliment people on speaking is. I really am sort of scrutinizing on that. It's a crowd. You are unbelievable. Okay. Truly remarkable. And even in this environment. Have you worked on this? Is this an anointing? Did you pick it up from dad? Like, what is that?

[B]

I did not realize that, first of all. Thank you. But I didn't realize until later in life that my whole upbringing, I was in a masterclass for communications. It is what it is. My dad has been my pastor since I was one year old. Every Sunday, pretty much for my entire life, I have watched Tony Evans preach. He is a master orator. Clearly, he is a preacher, so he's preaching the Bible. But even if he wasn't, his ability to tie illustrations to principle, his ability to make sure the message is concise and clear. Because sometimes as communicators, the hardest thing is to cut out all the extraneous things that might be great points, but they're not the point. And then your audience being able to take away the one thing you were saying, that's hard. I watch dad do that every week. So the reality is just the craft of communicating. I didn't realize I was absorbing that. I thought everybody spoke like that, so.

[A]

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[B]

or charges and because of who also dad was around my early years. I was around Zig Ziglar. Wow. I just was with him. He was like a grandfather. Just around him at events and sitting next to him and talking to him and watching him speak. I was around Ann Graham Lotz, who's one of Billy Graham's daughters. And, oh, my gosh, I was just watching her. Like, you got to be kidding me. You know, so there were people that I was just around and I was watching the craft that I did not know in those years I would be a communicator for a living in this way. I didn't know that or for a ministry. So in hindsight, I realized it wasn't something that I was actively practicing. I was just absorbing. And. And then obviously, through the years, when you're doing a thing, you know, I look back on some of my writing from 20 years ago, and you look back at some of that, and you're like, lord have mercy. I can't. What in the world. Who was reading this? So it's just in the doing of a thing. I do think, and I'm grateful for this, that I wasn't so timid, even though I knew my limitations, that I wouldn't just do it anyway. Meaning sometimes when we know our weakness, we know we're not that great at a thing. It keeps you from even trying. And whenever I would be in that moment where I'm like, I'm not going to speak because I'm not good enough or I'm not going to write because I can't, there would be some voice of encouragement saying, just do it. Just put the words down as you can. And in exercising that, you don't know that you're building one layer on top of another, and there's maturity coming as you're going. So I am grateful that I was just doing it all along, even though I look back and go, man, that was terrible. That was a terrible paragraph I wrote in that book. But it's all exercise, and you're building maturity and excellence as you go.

[A]

So funny you say that. I just redid the audio version of one of my books, and I'm like, oh, my gosh, this is so bad.

[B]

It's just, like, crippling when you look back on it.

[A]

But what I did learn, I just want to reinforce a principle for people that are listening that maybe you're not a stage speaker, maybe you're a salesperson.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Heck, maybe you're just a mom or a dad. What you said about editing and cutting it down to fewer words I got to tell you, my biggest blessing was I was a broadcast major in college. It's ironic that you were, too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. There's success leaves clues. Right? And so I didn't come back to doing it. I didn't know there was POD when I was in college. There were no podcasts. I never knew I would even use it. Right. But what you learn in broadcasting is to say something most people say in more words and fewer because you got to get it into bites. And so I learned to write and communicate, think that way. You're totally right about that. Less is usually more. In your sales presentation, even with your kids, it's usually less is more. So I really, really believe that it's

[B]

that way in most areas of life, even in the most fundamental, silly ways, like your closet. If you have so much stuff in there, this might be a woman's problem.

[A]

No, I relate.

[B]

You got so much stuff in there, you actually end up wearing the same three things over and over because you can't see what's in there. It's all smashed together. It's too complicated. It's overwhelming. You walk in, you're just frustrated, so you just keep picking the same two or three things.

[A]

You.

[B]

You edit that stuff and get it down to some good things that you actually wear that you like. They fit you now in this season of life, and you space it out. You start enjoying what you have and utilizing what you have more, because there's less.

[A]

Very, very well said. Wow. I did that. I did a podcast on it. I did a whole thing on spring cleaning your life, but it started with my own closet. I'm like, why am I keeping this? I haven't worn this shirt in eight years.

[B]

Not eight.

[A]

Well, I'm trying to be polite to myself. I haven't worn this shirt in eight years. I've been around a long time, but I very much agree with that. Sometimes just spring cleaning opens up clarity, and you can see things that you wouldn't see. And by the way, even sometimes, I think you'd agree, sometimes even relationships. There are certain relationships in your life that you know aren't serving you, but you keep them around because it's comfortable. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You agree with that?

[B]

Oh, absolutely. There's so many things that, again, it's just there. Whether it's a person or it's a habit that we've had, or it's something that's been a part of our life for as long as we can remember, and we haven't taken the time to do what you said earlier, which is just pause and reevaluate. We're just comfortable with it and it's just a part of our daily rhythm. We've never thought about, is it serving me right now or am I serving it right now? Am I offering value here? Am I just taking up space? One of the things that came to my mind earlier when you said you re evaluated now at this age in your life, things that are not as important to you as they were in the 20s and the 30s, I was immediately thinking about how when you're 20 and you're 30 and you're maybe starting your 40s, even when you're exercising and trying to eat right, it really is about fitting in them jeans like I'm trying to look a certain way in clothes. When you're 45, 50 and 55, you're still wanting to be active. But my reasoning is different now. I don't want to jog necessarily all the time because of the impact it's having on my knees. I want to walk when I'm 60. I want my joints to be functional when I'm 65 and when I'm 70. So I'm altering even the way I exercise and eat based off of the reality of where I am today. If I kept doing the same kind of exercises I did when I was 27, it might do more damage now than help. What a great metaphor for pausing to re evaluate is going to cost us.

[A]

Yeah. You know the other thing too, by the way, I'm loving this. I love it because it's right.

[B]

These are great questions.

[A]

They are. Well, they're right on. They're right on time for my life too, because I do train very differently now. I'm not trying to get to the beach. And you go, by the way I did for a long time. Wow. Like, I don't. That's okay with me. Now I'm trying to not blow the shoulder out. I'm trying to be able to throw a baseball to my grandkids someday. Right.

[B]

I want my shoulders to work. Yeah.

[A]

I want to ride the horse, not fall off. But there's this great. I want to ask you about this. I was thinking about people I was about to interview when I watched this clip. And you came to my mind. And it's not a faith thing. It's ironic. Although when I see faith things, I think of you a lot because your speaking is so incredible and has had an impact on me watching it. Truly, truly, truly. So there's this new show Taylor Sheridan wrote called the Madison I think I'm saying it right. Have you heard about this?

[B]

I have only. Yes, I've seen a little clip of it. I haven't watched it yet, but it looks. Who is. Who is it?

[A]

Kurt Russell and Michelle Pfeiffer.

[B]

Michelle Pfeiffer.

[A]

It's really well done. I enjoy it and at least so far. And. But there's this scene and I'll mess it up. But I want to mention it to you and get your perspective on it. There's a scene and it's. I won't say what happens on the show, but it's Kurt Russell and he's on this, like, porch with his brother. And you could tell they're very close and they're in a rocking chair. It's just this beautiful scene and they're talking about life. And I'm paraphrasing here, but Kurt Russell, he says, we were just on vacation in the Caribbean somewhere. And he goes, you know, I watch these people. I'm about 15 years younger than them, and I watch these people, they're on the beach from my balcony, and they work their entire life to get to one moment, which was this moment. And they can't do anything about it because they're beat up, they're too old. They sacrificed their entire life for a moment was to get to the metaphorical beach of life. And by the time they got there, it was too late to enjoy it. And these are the people that got there, right? And he said, then I watch them at the restaurant that night, and it was their dream. Someday I'm gonna. And I feel like it really made me step back and think at my age, too. But I think at any age, this serves somebody delaying your peace or delaying your happiness for a moment of achievement. And this is, you know, we're talking to a woman here who said, just such success and so many achievements. But what would you speak into somebody's life about that? Because I feel like most people are like, I'm going to be happy when I get to that beach, when I get that house paid off or get out of that car or that relationship or that. And a lot of times, by the time you get there, it's no longer the time. Right. I'm wondering what you think about that, man.

[B]

About a trillion thoughts just went through my head. I think I would tell my younger self, this is it. You're in it. If you will milk and enjoy and treasure and take the opportunity to really engage with the people that are in this season. Build the relationships, build the bridges, learn the skill. Watch, absorb. You don't even know that the key for what you need in the next season is in your current season. I would tell my young 20 year old self, girl, this is it. Enjoy this part of the journey. Single, enjoy being single. Because when you're married, then you're going to think, I want the kids. Then you're going to have the kids and you're going to think when they go to college, there's always this next piece. But what you need for the next piece is in the piece you're in. And if you miss it, you'll look back on the season. There were a couple times in my life where I looked back on a season. The winds of change blew and blew me out of a season just like that. And then I look back and went, oh my goodness. There were treasures I missed. There were lessons I didn't gain, there was character I didn't build. There were relationships within which there was opportunity. Because your resources are in your relationships. If you don't garner and foster and cultivate those relationships while you're there, you don't even know. You have just demolished a bridge that was a part of what would take you, you to the next level of opportunity or invitation that you had for the next elevation point in your life. So I would tell myself, you're in it, milk it, enjoy it and get everything out of it and give everything to it that God has put you here for.

[A]

I feel like there's a little bit of like a, like a blessing over our conversation right now. So I don't usually do this on the podcast. Go back. Usually I'm just asking questions. But I want to share something with you about what you just said. A few weeks ago, I spoke at an event and like you, I speak, you know, quite a bit. And there was a Q and A in this little boardroom with like their VIPs. And the founder of the event was there. I won't say his name, but I was really impressed with this man at the event. I actually, when I got back, I said to my wife, I said, this guy's got his act together. He's liked him, he loved the Lord, seemed to have a good family life. In fact, after the event, he was supposed to go fly fishing with his son. Anyway, there was a young man in the room and he asked a question. What advice would you give your younger self? And my advice was very similar to what you just said. I said, you're as young and as focused as you'll ever be in your life. This is the time.

[B]

This is it.

[A]

This is the time. And I said, I promise you, 10 years from now, you're gonna realize that was the time. Even though then that will be the time.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

And I had that conversation with him, and I felt good about my answer. You know what I'm saying? I felt like that's really what I think. In any event, I found out this week that that man that was running that event with his son just recently died in a plane crash. The two of them. Yeah, they were killed in a plane crash. And I tell you that, Ed.

[B]

Both of them. The father and son.

[A]

Yes, yes. And a nephew. But I say that to. Just a second what you said, like, I had no idea how sort of prophetic that message was to that young man. It truly was the moment. And I'm suggesting that that's because we're all going to die prematurely.

[B]

But, like, we will someday.

[A]

Imagine if. Right. And imagine if we all kick our bliss down the road until some future date, because at some point, you are going to not be here anymore. And so waiting around for the perfect conditions or the moment to give yourself the gift God would love you to have right now, which is just some peace in your life, some bliss is not worth waiting for. So when you were talking, I was getting a little emotional there because I was thinking of that young man and his dad at the event. Isn't that remarkable?

[B]

It is remarkable. And you know, my mom is in heaven now. She graduated to heaven when she turned 70. It was 20 days after she turned 70. Pretty young, healthy her whole life. And then all of a sudden, just a cancer diagnosis that we had nine months with her and she was gone. She wanted to go to Australia her whole life. My dad and mom had it planned for two months after she was gone. I think that's a tender spot for my dad to this day. They planned to do it, but they were waiting till they were 70.

[A]

Oh, my goodness.

[B]

So to your point, there are some things you don't need to be doing when you're younger because you don't need to be spending the money on it, the time on it. You gotta be wise. But there are some things we're waiting on, this romanticized, idealized version of what life will be when. And the reality is you don't know what life will be then. You think you know, and you can plan accordingly. However, there are some things you need to fully engage and invest in right now. In the season of life God has given you because we don't know. Yeah, we don't know.

[A]

So.

[B]

Good. Yeah.

[A]

Bless your dad. I imagine he has very few regrets.

[B]

By the way, he was a good dad. Is a good dad, grandfather and now great grandfather. So we're blessed.

[A]

Well, you're leading me to my next point. We don't have that much time, but I've met one of your sons, jc. Right? JC yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Very impressive.

[B]

Thank you. He's a good kid.

[A]

He is mature, polite, very smart. But even in the couple times that he's messaged me, there's a.

[B]

He's out here messaging you. Oh, my son is messaging Ed Mylett.

[A]

I've asked him to, when we met. No.

[B]

Check on these kids.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I wanted him to. And he gets it. There's a rhythm there. You said something with your dad earlier that it was really caught, not taught. Right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm just wondering, as someone who is busy, you know, I can attest to at least one of your children. There's some good fruit there. What would you say to somebody who's, you know, they're raising a family and pursuing a dream right now and maybe feeling guilt, you know, I'm at work too much or I'm here or when I'm at home, I feel like I should be at work. Just that whole conversation. What would you say to them?

[B]

To be as intentional as you can. You are going to feel that. I mean, you know, anybody who's doing anything, splitting their time in any two important ways or three important ways, you are going to feel a measure of that. Because we're human.

[A]

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[B]

Be as intentional as you can about mapping out. But what is the priority here? And let me make sure that I'm giving it as much as I possibly can in this case, our family. J.C. called me recently. He was engaged in a friendship with a young woman that he was considering maybe this could be a little bit something more. He wasn't sure, but he was having conversations with her. She's very ambitious, very driven by career, the possibility of her career moving forward. And it occurred to him in conversation that there was a little bit of difference in the way he saw family than she might. So he called me and he said, mom, we were with y' all all the time. We traveled with y'. All. We homeschooled our boys for a long time so they could travel with us. We were with y' all all the time. We were in the green rooms with you. We were, you know, you were at home when we were at home, you know, you were gone some, but it just felt like y' all were. We were with you. Was that just because life worked out that way, or did you guys intentionally make that how our family? Yeah, I said, J.C. that's a great question. That was a decision your dad and I made. We could have been gone all the time. We decided that if you couldn't be with us, we weren't going. So did that cost us? Yes. Were there things we had to sacrifice? Yes. Were we exhausted?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

But we just decided we didn't do it perfectly. Man, there are some things I'd go back and do. A little bit differently still to this day. So it's not gonna be right. But no, it wasn't by mistake. Even your dad being as present in your life as he has been. A lot of young men and young women can't say their dad was around. Maybe mom, but dad was busy. Dad was at work. Dad was building a career. But the fact that your dad was at all your games and took y' all to practices and was at the dinner table and was a part of y' all's life in that sort of intentional way, you better believe your dad made that decision, and it cost him. So I appreciated that. JC it was occurring to him that unless you choose priorities and then mold your life around those priorities, those priorities will be watered down. Life will take you in different directions. Just like we have to be intentional about our health, we have to be intentional about making time to read a book for our mental health if we want to continue to buoy up our education, our inspiration. Just like you have to be intentional with all those other areas of your life, the reality is, when you're raising a family, if you are not sort of molding and sacrificing to make sure this is the priority, it won't magically be, you're gonna have to be intentional about it, just like all the areas of life. But you know what? And I'm getting a little long winded.

[A]

No, you're not.

[B]

I saw that. My dad and mom did that. And now, in hindsight, see, when you're grown and you have your own kids, that's when you realize, oh, they didn't really enjoy this all the time. It wasn't natural. They were choosing. So us sitting around the table for dinner, four kids, attitude problems, don't want to be here. Would rather be watching tv, mad because the chicken's not cooked right.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Mom wasn't, like, just thrilled about that.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

She just kept doing it anyway because it was her priority that we sit around that table.

[A]

It was the standard.

[B]

Yeah. She just decided, this is what we're going to do for the culture of our home. And so I. Wow.

[A]

Very well said.

[B]

My goodness. So got to be intentional. That's the bottom line.

[A]

One thing about him and you, my favorite people have a unique quality that I just enjoy their company, and that is that they're confident, yet they toe this line of they also have humility. It's a unique nuance in people. I don't know if you agree, but we've both known people that have a ton of confidence and lack humility. And they can become pretty difficult to be around. The depth of the relationship doesn't go very deep. And typically, I think without that humility, they think it's them. They don't know where the blessings come from. Sometimes they end up sort of flaming out or making a mistake or, you know, and then we also have friends who have tons of humility and no confidence. And you're kind of carrying them through life. They end up being, oh, boy, I just got a text from so and so. Here we go. You know, and so I'm wondering if you. Do you do something to cultivate that? Is that your faith life? Like, you do have that, Priscilla. You're confident, but there's a ton of humility there. Is that a conscious thing? Is that something from your faith? Is that something you intentionally instilled in your children? Because J.C. has that.

[B]

Gosh, I would say it's a combination of all those things, to be honest. Definitely the faith. Because, you know, I'm just so aware that except for the grace of God, I mean, where would we be if he weren't so kind and gracious and merciful to bestow upon us another breath for the next day? You know, I'm aware of the fact that he has been gracious, so I'm constantly aware of that. But then I think family humbles you. Your kids are going to look at you and go, not that great. They're going to look at the movie and go, that was terrible.

[A]

Do they really?

[B]

Or not terrible, but they'll be like, that's all right. So you have people around you that have been in your life, whether it's your family or friends you've had since you're nine. And that kind of just reminds you, we're all out here doing important things. Mind is not more important than their thing, even if it's less broad or they have a smaller platform. Their thing is just as important as my thing. So we're all doing something that matters for the kingdom of God, but also just on Earth, we're all impacting people. So I think I'm just around people who their presence helps to sober us all up, that we all matter. Also, I've been in settings. I've been in settings where I realize how small I am in the bucket in that setting, because you're in this atmosphere where, oh, my gosh, that person has 20 million followers on Instagram, or this person over here is speaking every weekend to 10,000 people. You're around people who. It makes. It gives you some frame of Reference.

[A]

Some perspective.

[B]

Yeah, some perspective. So I'm also grateful for that, that I'm just a small part of a big puzzle. And I think because I happen to be around a bunch of people who are doing great things on whatever level, it's just a reminder that I'm just another person doing hopefully helpful things for other people.

[A]

The other thing you do really well. I got one more question for you, but I just want to acknowledge something in you that I've noticed. I just think behind the scenes, people may not know about you. You're incredible at making other people feel seen and good about themselves. You're intentional about it. That's not just something you do. You do it very well. You did it the first time you met me. I remember you being so complimentary of me and you'd seen me speak or something. But you do that with everybody. And you, by the way, that's one hack to being a happier person. And more confidence is just believe in other people and love them and express it. It's a shortcut, but it's really. It's one of your superpowers. And I have to imagine that that's also true in parenting. I do. I just want to acknowledge that piece of you.

[B]

Thank you. That's awesome. Thank you very much. I feel encouraged with this podcast.

[A]

Well, I'm setting you up for a hard question at the end.

[B]

Okay, here we go.

[A]

So here it is. And this is an important one. I wanted to ask you this. I should have asked more people of faith that I admire this question. You're going to be the first. Most people watching this, because you're on it, will be believers. They're Christians, they're in the church, but some aren't. And there's a lot of people, you and I both know this, that I think my friend Irwin McManus says it. Sometimes, sometimes Christians are the biggest obstacle to Jesus. Meaning this, that there are people that, you know, they look at church or people in church or they were wronged by someone who's a believer or whatever. They have this thing like, you know, some of it looks really good, but some of it doesn't look so good to me. But I want peace in my life. I want the love of God in my life. I think I hear this whisper where I want to come home. They've heard it all their life. Yet people. People oftentimes can kind of get in the way.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

Right. And so there may be somebody today that's come to the show that's in my audience or your audience. That's watching this. And they have that feeling right now. What would you say to them?

[B]

That people and just the things of Earth will constantly disappoint. And instead of them turning us off to a relationship with God, they're supposed to be a reminder and an agitator in knowing that we were made for something different. That's why it bothers us. That's why the hurt we faced by that person, the Christian who was a hypocrite, who didn't have integrity, who said one thing and did another thing. The reason why you have the distaste is because there's something in all of us that knows this is not the way it's supposed to be. So instead of it turning us off to a relationship with God, really let it press you into him. It's his invitation. It's an opportunity for you to see that he is not them. Heaven is not Earth, and you're dissatisfied with it because you were made for something more. And he's offering you an opportunity to take that invitation. We were made for something different. That's why death stings the way it does. That's why sickness makes us go, man, this is not. This is not something a baby passes away. Something about that doesn't work. Divorce, betrayal, it breaks our heart. It devastates us. That's why. Because we weren't made for this. So let that be the invitation to you. God reaching out his hand, saying, come, come, walk with me. There's only one perfect one who ever existed. It's not me, not you, not anybody around you. We've put that expectation on them, and that's why it continues to devastate us. But there's only one perfect one. His name is Jesus. And he'll give you the peace you've been looking for.

[A]

Amen. Okay, you slayed that answer, just FYI. And you know you did. This was such a good conversation.

[B]

It was a great conversation.

[A]

Can we do this, like, at least every couple years?

[B]

Man, that would be awesome. This was the best conversation I've had in a while.

[A]

Same here. Same here. No offense to anybody else. Yeah, I loved this. Okay, you're invited back officially.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

You guys, sometimes I say, please share the show, but I'm pretty sure today I don't need to even ask you to do it. So thank you so much for joining us. This was Priscilla Shire, you guys. God bless you. Max out your life. This is the Ed Milan Show.