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- [00:00]
A
This is pro linebacker TJ Watt. And I'm back with YPB by Abercrombie for another activewear drop. My second co design collection has new shorts and tanks that keep up with all my in season workouts. And their new Restore collection is a game changer off the field too, because even pro athletes like me need rest days. Shop YPB by Abercrombie in the app, online and in stores because your personal best is greater than anything foreign.
- [00:30]
B
Welcome to the show, everybody. So I've had her husband on like five times and I'm sick of him. I'm just going to be honest with you. I'm just kidding. He's one of my favorite people in the world. But for a long time, I've wanted to have a conversation with this woman. Someone I was in Boston last night. I was telling people how excited I was about this conversation. They said, oh, the, the woman behind the man. I said, no, this is the woman with the man standing right next to him. And. And of the few events I've been to of Tony Robbins, I love Tony and he's been a mentor to about everybody that's been on this show. But when I leave, I feel myself remembering and being most impacted by the things Sage has said. And I think I know why as I prep for this interview as I learned more about her. So she, in her own right, is a world renowned speaker. She's a mentor, huge philanthropist. But when I think of Sage Robbins, I think about her heart, I think about her grace, I think about her wisdom. And you'll hear it immediately when you hear her voice. There's just a piece about her that she transfers to other people. That's just magic. And so today is going to be an incredible conversation with Sage Robbins. Sage, finally welcome to the show.
- [01:37]
C
Well, Ed, it's such a gift to be with you as well and as well your listeners. And thank you for your gracious introduction.
- [01:43]
B
It's true. Do you hear it, everybody? It's already there. You can see it. So she's here to promote, which Tony's done many times this year. They're having a Time to Rise Summit, January 29 through 31. You all need to go get registered for that. We're going to put the link to it in the show notes. Every year, Tony and Sage and a few others do a free event that I still can't believe is free for multiple days. That changes people's lives. It's changed literally millions of people's lives. And so please make sure you register for That. I think you would second that, right, Sage?
- [02:14]
C
Yes, it's absolutely, Ed. And what's amazing is Tony created this summit in 2020, actually, and we were collectively all in the middle of the uncertainty and cha. Of the pandemic. And this is really when this, you know, time to rise was. Was birthed. And what's so extraordinary is what started with Tony's intention to serve in mission has really become a global movement. And over the past five years, or past five years, we've had the privilege of, you know, connecting and having over 5 million people join the Rise Up Summit. So, yeah, it's amazing.
- [02:49]
B
Did you hear that? You guessed 5 million people? Yes. Tony and Sage Robins can gather that many people, so it's going to be awesome. Join them there, you guys. I. I can't endorse it enough. You'll love it.
- [02:59]
C
Thank you.
- [03:00]
B
Okay, Sage, here's the thing. I didn't know this about you, so everybody lean in here. This is going to be awesome. So I grew up with a father in recovery. Well, the first 15 years of my life, my dad was an alcoholic and a drug addict, and then he got sober. And then I started to read about you. And so I'd like to just start there from my own personal. So who was it in your family that was in recovery? And were they in recovery the entire time or were they addicted at some point and then got sober during your. Your lifetime?
- [03:29]
C
Yes. Thank you, Ed. My father, he has over. Gosh, I think he's 54 years sober.
- [03:36]
B
Wow.
- [03:37]
C
I've probably been to more AA meetings in my life than I have church. Probably not, but close to. Let's just say I literally was raised in. In AA meetings. And what's interesting is it wasn't just my father. My grandm fathers were both na. My one sister was addicted to heroin for a big portion of her life. I had another sibling that was addicted to crack cocaine. And so addiction and AA and the 12 step program has been so instrumental in just who I am and shaped so much of who I am. And it's funny, you know, growing up and listening to the Serenity Prayer, you know, God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I heard that prayer over and over and over again. And. And yet at this stage of my life, I recognize and understand and experience what it means. And I missed. You know, I always thought that AA in the 12 step program was for those people, for those people who are Addicted. And I suppose if we're human, we all have blind spots and areas of patterns of addiction. And I had no clue of how much the 12 steps of AA shaped who I am, impacted who I am. The notion of sponsorship and servitude. And, you know, my father also my parents, you know, in our home, they often, you know, like the people that you wouldn't necessarily believe that would be coming over for Christmas dinner, they were always at our home, you know, the. Whoever just got out of jail. And my. My father is just such a decent human, both my mother and my father and really shaped who I am and. And how relate to people from all walks of life.
- [05:25]
B
I can't believe you're saying this, because that's funny. While we're recording this, you guys, it's a few days before Christmas, and I was just saying to my daughter this morning, we had some characters over my home during the holidays.
- [05:38]
C
Yes.
- [05:38]
B
Wonderful people. But then had just gotten out of jail.
- [05:41]
C
Yes.
- [05:42]
B
And had many, many years of using drugs. Same exact thing.
- [05:45]
C
Yes.
- [05:46]
B
So I grew up around Amy. My dad ended up passing away 35 years sober when he died.
- [05:51]
C
Wow.
- [05:52]
B
And. But the. The transformation of having a sponsor and someone that loved and cared about you and taking these steps has been a. I think it's why I do what I do here. It's probably because my dad got sober and what I've learned from aa. So I'm so grateful.
- [06:04]
C
That's amazing.
- [06:05]
B
It is. I did. And I didn't know that about you either. I.
- [06:07]
C
Yes.
- [06:08]
B
I'm curious what part of it impacted you the most? I'll tell you what part for me, as I've gotten older that I appreciate more and I'd love your wisdom on this. It's the surrendering part that was hard for me when I was young and climbing and wanting to assert influence and control over my own life. Yet that nuance of letting go and surrendering to God, you know, his care and concern and plan as well, that. That's the thing, as I've gotten older, that I probably appreciate the most. I'm just curious about that nuance for you, how you view that. Because Tony and you teach these tools of how to change your life, yet at the same time, surrendering to a higher power and having, you know, that. That surrendering that control, so to speak. I'm curious what your view is on that.
- [06:57]
C
Yes. Well, I love that you use the word nuance because it is nuanced to surrender. It's kinder insaner when we do. That's My experience, because a lot of times what we're surrendering is the expectation that life should be different than what is. You know, what is. Is reality. And from my own experience, Ed, is. You know, I have suffered the most when I believe that life should be different than whether it's a diagnosis, whether it's, you know, a mother with dementia or, you know, my own health challenge or whatever it looks like, or somebody that's just passed. I think it's the overlays that. That life is unjust or unfair that AA really schooled me to recognize, or at least one of the pathways, if I'm honest, of what surrender, what living surrender looks like in the moment, in real time. Because I think that that's where the real blessedness comes from. It's not. And I don't know about you, but I don't have this mastered. I'm ongoing. And it's an evolution for me, this thing, surrender. But it's also selfish because it's. It's freeing. It's freeing and creates spaciousness where there's resistance when I don't. So that's one of the. I'd say I. I'm aligned with you. I'd say that's one of the great impacts of aa. A second one I would say is where we began in this conversation. Ed and I didn't realize how powerful it was, but witnessing my parents accept and bring human beings into our family's house that have done, quote, unquote, horrible things, I really feel is one of the gifts that AA offers and is missed in a world where cancel culture is so. Or demonizing people and blaming people for something that somebody did or said a year ago or five years ago or 10 years ago. And, you know, with that mirror, with that mirror of acceptance, with that mirror of. It wasn't even forgiveness. It was. It was greater than that. I think it was just acceptance of the humanness, because that's where we all meet. You know, I'm human, you're human. I screw up, I miss. Whether you're an addict or not, we all go blind. And I feel that that living, ever evolving example of acceptance that my father and my mother reflected to us was so. Has shaped who I am as a woman and as a human.
- [09:48]
B
Just amazing. By the way, I'm already done with the episode for me. I'm serious. I. My gosh. Wow. I feel like I have a lot of weaknesses, but one of my strengths is my. I think I have, you know, patience and compassion with people. I don't just See them for their behaviors. And I think that's because of what you just described. When. When someone would be in our home and my dad would say, so, you know, Joe's coming to dinner tonight. Joe's a friend, Bill W. And a friend of mine. I went, oh, okay. And, yeah, he would maybe share with me a little bit of his story, and I would just see this person differently. I would want to know them and their story and their wounds and their trauma and a little bit more empathy. And I. My gosh, I look at the world today and I. I wish the fact that you have that or I have that didn't stand out maybe so much. I mean, I'm sure it hurts your heart just to see how we treat people that we might just Even. Just disagree with politically, even.
- [10:53]
C
Yes.
- [10:53]
B
What are your thoughts about that? Like, what advice would you give to somebody who, you know, they've got a family member they used to be very close to and now they aren't because of the way they vote? My goodness. Right. Like, what would you say to somebody who just struggles with finding love and compassion for someone that they may not align with on every topic?
- [11:15]
C
Well, you know, number one, I just feel that when we recognize that we're all human, you know, when you recognize that we all have our gifts and yet we're all unconscious at times.
- [11:28]
B
Yeah.
- [11:29]
C
There's an allowance for the humanness when we have a willingness to drop our external blame and demonization of one another. Ed, it's my experience that we start to understand one another, because if I'm only focused on what you're doing, if I'm only focused on what you're saying or how you're blind or how so and so's, you know, whatever. An idiot or unconscious or whatever political party or however we label and identify people we miss. How am I being? How are you being? I think, like, that's the most powerful reflection or self reflection. And it's interesting. I don't know if you're familiar with Byron, Katie's work she talks about.
- [12:15]
B
I just read a book. It's right there. I just. Sage. It's the last book I read before this interview.
- [12:21]
C
Well, that's amazing.
- [12:22]
B
The work, right?
- [12:23]
C
The work, yes.
- [12:25]
B
Oh, my gosh.
- [12:26]
C
She's a very dear friend and we adore her, and we have it on her at a number of our platinum partnership programs. And she has a simple mindset that there's my business, there's your business, and there's God's business. And that has been so revolutionary of How I perceive life because I'm aware it's like, oh, that's none of my business. It's your business. Whatever you're doing, what people believe, what their preferences are, whether it be political, whether it be sexual, whether it be religious, whatever floats somebody's boat, that's their life. That's, that's our autonomy as a human being that we're given that free will. It's a blessing to be able to choose and to connect to what feels honest and true for me or what feels honest and true for you or your listeners. And somehow, I suppose social media, Ed, has been, you know, one of the highways to us or platforms for us being in everybody else's business. But I think, you know, we live in a world where there's a notion or a, an identity or a label for no contact with our families. And you know, it, it just invites. I'd say probably the biggest piece I'm passionate about is loving. Like this was our last day. And you know, my sister was just diagnosed with cancer just a couple days ago and my mama this year, she had, you know, she has dementia. And I never imagined that this holiday would look so different for us as a family. And we never know what tomorrow is going to bring. None of us, we know, we don't know whether, you know, our parents that you know, because they didn't love us the way that we wanted to be loved. Well, I'm a parent, you're a parent who's loving every single moment.
- [14:20]
B
Right.
- [14:20]
C
You know what I mean? We, we make people wrong. We choose to have no contact for being human. You're so doing what I do for doing what you do, which means we as human, we, we screw up at times, we're harsh at times, we can be unconscious at times. And I once again, I mean, this takes me back to aa, Ed, but I really feel that that is, it's just something to really self reflect.
- [14:48]
B
Yes.
- [14:48]
C
And to connect to. And if we separate or have no contact with our parents or with our siblings, that hurts us. That hurts us. And even though we say that, it doesn't. To close off a part of ourselves that affects our well being of mind, it affects how we, you know, how we have resonance with one another. Never mind ourselves.
- [15:14]
B
Well, resonance with one another. I'll mess up her work. But along the lines that you're talking about with her work that you're referring to one of the questions you ask yourself in her work. I've been asking myself this now for like a week. It's the Last book I read, which is she talks about, is this true? And are you sure it's true? A thought you have, opinion you have about somebody. But the, one of the questions is, who would I be? I didn't have that thought anymore or I didn't believe that. And I think it's so valuable to ask yourself, like, who. Who would you be if you didn't hold this resentment towards somebody?
- [15:47]
C
Yes.
- [15:48]
B
See, if you didn't have this very narrow view of who they are. That's the one thing about my dad being an aa. When I would meet people, I realized they're a soul. And their, their story is not just what they've done, but there's a, there's a much deeper view of a human, of a soul and that we put these people in boxes and we simplify one another. Who would you be if you didn't hold on to that resentment anymore? Would you be if you gave them another chance? You know, who would you be if you opened yourself back up? Anyway, I just, it's amazing that you mentioned that book and her work and, and, and during this time too, so. Good.
- [16:22]
C
I agree, Ed. And you know, I've done a lot of the work of Katie's work and at the beginning, when I was first introduced to it, Ed, I don't know about you, I don't know if you've actually sat down and done the like the work itself on, on paper, ego is so seductive and it moves so quickly. And so when I started to do the work, I was doing it in my mind. And so I would think of a resentment and you know, I'd be, you know, just oh gosh, who would I be? But the real fruit of actually doing the work is to taking time to write it out. And so for those of you we're speaking about something that's a four step process and it's called the Work by Byron. Katie, if you have somebody in your life, a parent or a sibling or anybody in your that you've disconnected from or you've chosen to have. No, I highly invite you. The work is free. You can print it out and you can print it out@the work.com, but what's really powerful is to sit with it and to actually fill out the worksheet and to be still.
- [17:28]
B
Can you walk us through those four things?
- [17:29]
C
Sure. So the four step is, the very first step is is it true? So for those of you, and you keep it really, really simple. So for example, if I was upset with say my sister, and so it's Usually the extra narcissist is a great one. It's, you know, we don't do generalized statements. You do something specific. So my sister was, you could say, you know, my sister was, you know, so harsh. The more specific that we are. When you go through, it's like, my sister is so harsh. Is it true? The first step, can you absolutely know that it's true? And you go through this process and then. So that's the second question. Can you absolutely know? The third one is what you mention is who would I be? New year, Same extra value meals at McDonald's.
- [18:21]
B
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- [18:31]
D
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- [19:02]
C
For those of you listening, who would I be without the thought? My ex, who fill in the blank is whatever, whatever judgment that you have upon them. And then the fourth one, I'm complete. Oh, the fourth one is how do I react when I believe that thought? And it's really beautiful. That's where self reflection comes from, Ed. How do I react when I believe that thought that so and so is harsh or narcissistic? And you know, for example, I close off, I shut down, I disconnect. I don't reach out to my sister. I'm harsh with her on the phone. I'm making it up right now. And then the fourth one is the turnaround. And there's a lot of fruit in that as well, Ed. Because we start to turn around, it's like, okay, my sister's a narcissist. Or my sister's harsh. I'm a narcissist. I'm harsh. And you find three examples, and it's so powerful. It's such a simple process. But for anybody that is disconnected from their families, I. I've done a really poor job articulating the process. You can find it on the school for the work. But it is truly, it's really profound and it's life.
- [20:19]
B
Changing it is. And I have to say one thing, I'm glad you mentioned it the way you did because I haven't written it down.
- [20:24]
C
Oh, you have to.
- [20:25]
B
You know, one of the reasons I think I loved my dad so much and I love people that have been in a 12 step program for a long time is they do do a form of work that most people get around to doing. They're much more self reflective. They're self aware.
- [20:38]
C
Yes.
- [20:39]
B
There's a humility that comes with the program, I think, don't you agree? Like my dad just became this wise man. Wasn't his intellect, it was the self reflection. It was the humility. Yes. Of seeing himself and other people that I, I'm really grateful I caught at least a little of that. You know, I think as a parent, a lot of things are caught, not taught. I caught a little of it, you know. Did you learn some of that from your dad too? There's just that self reflection and introspection that most people in a fast life of Instagram and work and kids and soccer and friends, they, they spend no time with themselves.
- [21:19]
C
True. We can miss ourselves. And I love how you speak about your daddy, Ed. My father and my mother are just true heroes in my own mind and heart because of that self reflection, because of that ownership, because, you know, like my dad was just, he stole cars, he, you know, I mean, he ended up in jail. He, he certainly had his own version of a past, but it was always just very forthright. And I never saw my dad as that man. I had the privilege of experience who he is and who he continues to be through evolution and the 12 steps and you know, of, of Alcoholics Anonymous has been one of those pathways that has hugely, yes, helped to shape my own self reflection and I'm so grateful for it because it's a painful place to be when we don't have that self examination. And we live in a world which we experience, you know, whether through politics or through social media. Ed. That has an external frame of blame, has the external. You did this, you said this, you're this, you're that. And I just really feel that, you know, self examination.
- [22:37]
B
Yeah.
- [22:37]
C
Of seeing how am I being and what may I be missing are two really powerful questions for myself that I constantly inquire because that's something that I can affect.
- [22:50]
B
This is so good. By the way, everybody, we'll move off of AA in a minute, but I want to know because I, I actually, Sage, you're one of the very few public people. I myself Too that. That actually even ever talks about the program at all and its impact. It's such an interesting thing that. And one of the things I want to ask you one more part of it now, let's say for a second and that you have done something harsh to somebody.
- [23:13]
C
Yes.
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B
You know, one of the things that my dad became. One of the steps you guys is making amends. And one of the things I loved about my dad because a lot of times when somebody gets sober, they can still. My dad used to go, sometimes I'm a dry drunk. And I would ask my dad, what does that term mean, dad? He goes, well, I still got some of that personality in me still of being an alcoholic. I can be pretty edgy and my temper and. And my dad would. It's so funny. We'd have a conversation. Maybe it didn't go well on the phone. And I would tell my wife, my dad will call me before bedtime tonight. And sure enough, the phone would ring. Hey. I was thinking I was wrong earlier. I'm so sorry if I hurt your feelings. My dad was very quick to apologize and to make amends and to fix that. And it's one of the most redemptive things I think a human being. I wish more of our politicians said, I'm sorry, I made a mistake. I. I tried to get it right, but I missed this one. Just curious about what your thoughts on that in a relationship, even you and Tony, is to say yes. Is it? I'm sorry I missed that one. I was. I was wrong. I wonder the what you think about the power of making amends in your life and acknowledging a mistake and making that as a part of the healing process.
- [24:24]
C
Well, I find it so freeing. And I really believe it's one of mine and Tony's superpowers to. In our relationship. It's admission I went blind. I was harsh. I was a jerk. I was whatever I was. You know, when I spoke to you, I was disconnected and I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Versus you did this. You were harsh. You were controlling. We don't see how we behave when we only have an external frame. And you know, Tony, it's. It's just that humbleness and willingness and what's so beautiful is I love that your daddy that you knew that that was predictable. It was, you know, for Tony or I. If I'm either say if I left the room within two minutes, I walk back, or if not, he's coming after me and we both. I think that's the gift when we take Responsibility for our experience of life. And we recognize that who's in our life is a gift to love. You know, that's what 100 responsibility looks like, is looking to tidy, you know, tidy up the space, because then that creates a newness. Tony and I have been together over 26 years, and we have deeper love and just joy and beauty and laughter and togetherness and just closeness in our family that I never imagined actually at this stage of our relationship. And I. I really feel that. I don't know. You know, saying I love you is one thing, but to say I'm sorry takes humility and it humbles us. It grounds us. A strips ego. And I. I'm so passionate about it. And my parents were an example. And it's been such a gift in mine and Tony's personal. Our intimate relationship. What about you? With you and your lady? I'm curious.
- [26:28]
B
I think so. I think she's probably better at it than I am. I'm. I'm quicker to do it sometimes. And that's the other part of it too. I think that. I don't know. I feel like in my life, whether it be with my wife or any of my friends, I want to be better. My outcome in my life at this stage is to be. To be better. And then I kind of know my patterns, you know, thanks to your husband. Is one of the people learning this and one of my.
- [26:55]
C
He's such a legend, that guy.
- [26:57]
B
He's pretty good.
- [26:58]
C
There's no. There's no one like him. I. I always say, I really feel that Tony's the godfather of this industry. That.
- [27:05]
B
Oh, Sage, that's without question. People ask me sometimes. I. I will. I was kidding when I opened. I'm sick of this guy. This man changed my life. And people say, what are all the people that have been. I've had 800 something guests on my show.
- [27:18]
C
Wow.
- [27:18]
B
Have in common. Right. And I usually say we're descendants of the Tony Robbins tree almost. But I've had Matthew McConaughey on or brain surgeon from Harvard, you know.
- [27:28]
C
Yes.
- [27:28]
B
We've somehow been impacted by Tony Robbins. And I introduced him one time, and I meant that I think he's the most influential person of this generation of the last hundred years.
- [27:37]
C
I agree with you.
- [27:38]
B
I really believe that.
- [27:39]
C
And so I agree with you.
- [27:41]
B
But having said that, you know, it's pretty cool to hear for everybody that even you guys got to work on your relationship, that even the two of you disagree and that he is also a human and makes mistakes and missteps in life as well. Of course, people hope.
- [27:57]
C
Of course. I. You know, when people say, like, oh, my gosh, it's easy for you. It's, you know, you're Tony and Sage Robbins. I'm always like, what does that mean? We're human beings who miss. And of course, I. I think that's the. The gift is. Is putting these practices to work, to life. And, you know, Ed, you said something about being a better human being. I don't know that it's about being better. I. I think it's about becoming our most authentic versions of ourselves or our most sincere. And I experience that I'm more of my authentic self. And there's more sincerity through the willingness to admit. I love that you admitted that. Your wife will go first more often and say sorry. And so that's such a beautiful practice after this conversation.
- [28:49]
B
It's true.
- [28:50]
C
Try it on. Just notice, because we all know what closing feels like. It's resistance or the. When the ego wants to be right or, you know, wants to be. You know, it's like my way or to control a circumstance. It's like, I'm so sorry. I'm, like, such a knucklehead. Or I was, like, so harsh. I was an asshole. Whatever you want to say. Whatever's true.
- [29:11]
B
Yeah.
- [29:11]
C
My words. Your words. But it's like I spoke in a tone of voice that feels insincere to me. I think that's how, you know, I don't know if it's better. I just think it's. It. I suppose it's more in that state. My heart opens.
- [29:29]
B
Yeah.
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C
Because I'm not wearing. What would you say? You know, we close our heart through defense and through blame. And I think we open it through admission and through self reflection and. And. And to act on that, to take responsibility and to just. Tony and I have a practice. It's just like, I'm committed to going first. He's committed to going first. And so you make that commitment to yourself, never mind your lady. And you're going to surprise her.
- [29:57]
B
That was a wow right there. Wow. You make it. See, I'm supposed to make the audience think. You're making me think today and reflect really good. You know, you were married before Sage. Yes, I remember. I actually knew Tony back then. I remember. You know, that wasn't an easy time, I imagine, for you, and I'm grateful that you're willing to talk a little bit about that today. Wondering. Because you took some. You know, that was not an easy time for you. What did that Time teach you about yourself, about, you know, you took some criticism. I remember at the time, you know, about all that. How did that impact you? Like that stage of your life, if you just speak on it. What did you go through there and what did you learn?
- [30:42]
C
Well, it matured me. It schooled me. You know, I don't know that there's. Per se. Like. I used to think it was like, the wrong decision. As a younger version of myself. I don't look at it that way, Ed. I. It was an experience, and that experience taught me a lot. And, you know, who I am today, the woman I am today. Everything's like a puzzle piece, you know, it's like stepping stones. And my first marriage was that even though, you know, it was for a certain window of time, it's. It's funny. He and I spoke for the first time after so many years, Ed, just about a year and a half ago. And it was so nice just to say hello and, you know, God bless, and I hope all is well in your life, because I think that's. You don't spend, you know, a certain amount of years with somebody and, you know, not wish for their happiness. And. And I feel like that's the gift of life coming full circle. But I would say the biggest piece is it matured me. You know, I. I have so much of who I am today. I. I think, you know, self reflection, I suppose, once again, it was easier for me at that stage of my life. I had more of a lens of what he was missing. And through that maturity and that experience, I really dug down at a super different level of honesty.
- [32:10]
B
When I see you, I think of someone who gives other people a lot of grace. That's just my perception. Right. I think the reason I said peaceful when I introduced you is that there are certain human beings that are in touch with either God or a part of themselves that I feel like when they. By the way, I've met. I have coaches like this. So this is not some, you know, whimsical mamsy pansy thing I'm describing here. What I mean by that is that I don't feel a lot of judgment when you interact with people. And so I call that grace. But it seems to me as if there's just. You're seeing someone as they are and maybe even the best version of them. And then I heard you have this thing that you do daily called 60 seconds of grace. If I mess that up, you can tell me, but yes, what is that? Is that a practice that you do Literally every single day.
- [33:05]
C
Well, I want to say something about what you said earlier. You had mentioned about us being, you know, going through in my first divorce and being criticized. That was also something that humbled me. And those exterior, you know, circumstances when your life plays out on the world stage, I think that teaches you a different level of acceptance and non judgment or at least to drop your judgments because, you know, it's. I guess you just recognize that we're all human for my own path and. But anyways, you had mentioned about.
- [33:42]
B
Well said, by the way. You're right about that. I've lived it.
- [33:45]
C
Yes. And so those criticisms, you know, it really, I don't know, it humbled me and I recognize that humiliation is the fruit of humiliation is humbleness. It's, it's, it's strips. It strips like, you know, the illusion of control or the energy that it takes to hold up these innocent facades or our condition parts of ourselves. And I think that's the gift of vulnerability and, and transparency that sometimes can be missed.
- [34:25]
B
I just think you're tremendous. Is. Do you think that's why you give others so much grace? Because you had to give it to yourself?
- [34:31]
C
Yes. And you know, by the way, you said I'm peaceful, I'm not peaceful every single moment. There's a force of freaking nature in this woman and this human. And I can be a hurricane. And the grace, yes, or the peace through God's grace. I've been extended grace. And through difficult times in my life, there's just been generosity of this human spirit. And that's really schooled me how to be. And yes, I really feel that the more graciousness that we can bestow upon ourself or extend to ourself, it naturally extends to others. And it's a sane and kind way to be. Why not? There's enough people spewing judgments and opinions. This world doesn't need any more opinions, you know what I mean? But perception, willingness and receptivity to see ourselves, that's fresh.
- [35:35]
B
What's the 60 seconds of grace? Is that an actual practice you'd recommend somebody do, or is that just 60 seconds of grace? What is.
- [35:41]
C
Yes, Ed, I discovered 60 seconds of grace. I was, you know, we were traveling, Tony and I were traveling the world at that time, probably close to, gosh, over 250 days of the year, we would on average travel the globe close to like two times a year. And so we were at events, there's bright lights, there's music, and a whole heck of a lot of human Beings. And at that time, I was doing meditation in the morning, I was bookending my days, and I was doing meditation at night. And I remember this moment and I was feeling really overwhelmed and stacked and I made my way out to the loading dock because that was just a lot of times where I ended up where it was quiet and I sat on a forklift and I closed my eyes and I gathered my attention and awareness back to my own breath and what was happening in this moment. And it was a way of realigning, it was a way of tuning in. It's a way of resetting. It's really for myself. It's like a moment to moment at times practice of tuning back in and noticing, because that's where mindfulness really comes to life. We can do it right now if you like.
- [36:58]
B
Yeah, let's go.
- [36:58]
C
Okay. Okay. So fantastic. So, Ed and, and all of those of you who are listening, let's simply close our eyes and adjust yourself so that you're comfortable and notice your breath. Notice the miracle of your body being breathed, The miracle of life itself that's happening within us, that's guided us to this exact moment of time. And as you inhale, you're breathing in the atmosphere of this moment, the miracle of this moment. And as you exhale, you're simply letting go of everything and anything that's no longer needed. So allow the miracle of your breath, the natural rhythm of your inhale and exhale as you continue. And if your mind wanders, simply invite your awareness back to this moment. Let's simply take a few moments of grace, of peace. Gently open your eyes.
- [38:30]
B
I don't want to. Okay, this too good. That's like the all time greatest podcast moment. Do we have to do the rest of the podcast, Sage, though? So good. I. I want to tell you one thing, by the way, everybody. You feel that 3 million people just clipped that audio so that they can play that every single day for themselves. I could tell you that was wonderful.
- [38:55]
C
Sage, what did you experience? What did you notice?
- [38:59]
B
I know exactly what I noticed. I'll tell you one thing. My breathing. I was very conscious of my breathing. But you know, in my case, I've been doing a practice very similar to that, so I could tell you what I noticed. Which is just. It's the word you use, like what a miracle just being here is.
- [39:13]
C
Yes.
- [39:14]
B
And how, you know, I'm a climber just like you or Tony or anybody. Or anybody. Listen this. But like just being grateful for like the most simple, beautiful things and being grateful for that moment, to be honest with you, is my main thing. What about you?
- [39:31]
C
So, therefore, being grateful for this moment.
- [39:34]
B
Yes. You said something there I want to ask you about. So been dying to ask you, because you said something about there, what's no longer needed. So I want to tell you about. I bought this place, and at the place that I own, there's a. There were two bald eagles that lived there, and they were there about 10 years before me, Fred and Wilma, we call them. And Fred got sick and unfortunately he passed away, and Wilma was left on her own. And anyway, about six weeks after he passed away, the people from the bird sanctuary told me it's highly likely that Wilma will go soon. She'll be next. And then I hear this, like, woodpecker noise for weeks. And I asked some of the people on the island, I said, on my place, the island I own, I said. I said, do we have woodpeckers? They said, no, it's Wilma. She's kind of hammering her beak against the rocks. I said, my gosh, what's the deal? We should call. Is she trying to take her own life? What is she doing? Anyway, I call the lady from the bird sanctuary and she goes, oh, my gosh. She goes, Mr. Mylett, this is an amazing process she's going through. She's sharpening her beak. And she said, in a few weeks, you're going to see many of her feathers are going to disappear. And I said, why is that? And she said, she's remaking herself. And what she's doing, Ed, is she's sharpening her beak so that she can pluck the feathers that no longer serve her, and she's going to extend her life by maybe double. And I thought, what an amazing metaphor for life. She literally, by the way, she's now got a new guy. She's had three kids, they've got a new nest. And she's like, wow. But literally, what she did is she became aware of what was no longer needed and what no longer served her. How big of a part of your life is that? Just that? Because I've heard you say that several times.
- [41:26]
C
Yes, huge. And it's something that I invite my awareness to, because I think that that's the true empowerment, Ed, is when we recognize, like, what is no longer needed. The simple judgments or resistance or blame or demonization or labels or. Or habits or patterns that disconnect us from this moment, that disconnect us from love, that disconnect us from our nature. I. That eagle is incredibly wise and you know, it's interesting because life, we, you know, in order to experience our nature, we need space, we need spaciousness. In order to experience peace, we need spaciousness with inside of ourselves. And when we're constantly distracting ourselves or filling our mind with, you know, everything external, everything that's going on, we miss this internal awareness and we miss the connection and to the miracle, to this moment. And that's something that I find rearranging is when we start to invite our awareness and our attention to this moment. That's where life really begins.
- [42:57]
B
Have you not been doing this stuff on podcasts longer? Kidding. I'm not kidding. I've done 820 of these. This is one of one what we're talking about here today. I'm being serious. Okay. We talked a lot of things. Theoretically. I want to ask you something because we're going to run out of time. By the way, guys, the fastest 40 minutes so far ever or whatever the heck. Seriously, if I go back to aa, you know, one of the things that used to break my heart and this is what I want to. It kind of leads to the summit in the sense that. Okay, I tell you what I mean by that. My dad would bring these folks over and I would know their stories and I knew they were in the program, although it's an anonymous program, so there wasn't a lot of discussion about specific things. But I'll remember asking my dad, you know, 15 years later, hey dad, how's Joe doing? How's Sarah? And some of the times my dad would say they're doing great. You know, they just got their 15 year chip, you know, for being sober. But other times my dad would say, we can't find him.
- [44:01]
C
Yes.
- [44:02]
B
And I said, well, dad, how long was he sober? He goes ed 11 years. And then he fell off again. Or she was sober eight years and she fell off again. And I inevitably, when I would ask my dad, I would say what happened? And usually what my dad would say is they stopped working the program, they stopped going to meetings. And so although all of these things we talk about, everybody these thoughts and these practices matter. So does sticking with a routine in a program, to some extent I think you would agree with that, Sage. And so that's why Tony's work so profound. I like some of mine as well, that there's tactics and there's strategies to life, that there's got to be a routine. Did you experience that too? Where people got off the program? And then my dad, Sage, to the day he passed away, was Going to meetings five, six days a week during chemotherapy, he would go to meetings because it was such a part of who he became, his routine and his program. So all being free and being open and plucking our feathers and all that is part of it. So is also strategy.
- [45:04]
C
Yes.
- [45:05]
B
Your thoughts on that?
- [45:06]
C
Well, Tony is such a masterful strategist. And yes, you know, my father is 85 years old and he actually just birthed a meeting with a collective group of individuals called Redemption Road. And it's so cool to witness and experience how he's working the steps in his life today, what sponsorship looks like, what paying it forward looks like. And you know, he keeps showing up and he keeps showing up for others, but also he keeps showing up for himself. It's been a very humbling year and a painful year with my sweet mama and this thing called dementia. And so I've really watched, I've just watched. I, I don't know, something that I think I was ignorant to. I don't know what I thought, but I'm just amazed at watching my father still do the work, at watching him still, you know, I don't know, be humbled by life, be open by life, be schooled by life. And really I feel like the serenity prayer has really taken flight in my father's way of being with my mom. And I've been just so schooled and I so admire how he's navigated this chapter for himself and my mom and my whole family. To be quite honest, just watching them all come together and pray for my parents and we have a text thread and it's just been so benevolent and unexpected, Ed. Unexpected.
- [46:41]
B
Well, I'm going to pray for your mom tonight. And when I say I'm going to pray, I really do. And so we're going to have a couple million people here pray for your mom and your dad. Thank you as well.
- [46:51]
C
Thank you. Well, I, I believe in the power of prayer. When you say that, you know, you'll have a couple million people. The power of us coming together to notice the miracle. The power of us coming together to. I think it's why the rise up summit is so powerful. To come together and to intentionally decide how to live our next year of life. There's such power in that aligning and connecting and, you know, self reflecting.
- [47:25]
B
So I cannot get over how good today was. I just can't get over it. I, I've been doing this a while, you know, and so when one of them really impacts me, it reminds me of why I still do this. And so I just want you to know I think you're a treasure. I'm so grateful that you finally did this. I actually feel like this is God's timing too. Things like the right time. Right time. Sage, your message is needed. I mean, it's. Obviously you guys have this huge, tremendous platform, but I think you deliver it in a way that is different and very special and very unique and. And we covered a lot of things.
- [48:02]
C
We have covered a lot, Ed. It's been such a gift to be with you. And for those of you who are listening and have any interest, Tony created the Time to rise summit in 2020. And it was right in the middle of the chaos of the shutdown and Covid and, you know, where there was just a hunger and a desperation for all of us to reconnect to something that was real inside of ourselves. And what started as a mission to serve has literally become a global movement. Over the past five years, Tony has seen over 5 million people in this summit who have all been committed, like you and I, wanting to live a different life and take back their lives. This is a place to learn about the tools and strategies to literally rise above your fears, to rise above your limitations, and to rise above the stories that you've been telling yourself or I've been telling myself, why we can't. To reconnect to something deeper and to reconnect to something. The real reason why we're actually here. You'll walk away with a plan, and you'll also walk away with practices to live by. And what's amazing, it's free. You can tune in from wherever you are, wherever you are in the world. The Time to rise summit is January 29th, 30th and 31st. Just three days to take back your life. Go to timetoriseummit.com right now and claim your spot. And we look forward to being with you. Tony and I do this together. A portion of it, and it's amazing. Time to riseummit. Com. Ed, it's been an absolute gift to be with you as well. And what I really notice about you is your own earnest and sincere growth. And we meet in that. I trust that all those who are tuning in, we all meet in that. It begins with me. It begins with you. And I really believe that's how we change and bless this world.
- [50:08]
B
You're gonna be so proud of you during him. I'm so grateful that we took some time today to not only help other people's lives, but to. To talk about our fathers our daddy. It was really great to connect on that.
- [50:21]
C
It really is. I my dad and my mom are huge. I would never be who I am without their example. And I love that. We've got to shine some shine on AA as well. In the 12 step program, whether you're in the program or you're not, it's been a blessing to your life. It's been a blessing to my life and I find that so powerful.
- [50:42]
B
Today was a blessing to my life. All right, you guys. Sage, thank you. God bless you everybody. Max out your life. Share this episode well, the holidays have come and gone once again. But if you've forgotten to get that special someone in your life a gift, well, Mint Mobile is extending their holiday offer of half off unlimited wireless. So here's the idea. You get it now, you call it an early present for next year. What do you have to lose? Give it a try at mintmobile.com/switch Limited.
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C
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D
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C
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