← THE ED MYLETT SHOW
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- [00:00]
A
So hey guys, listen. We're all trying to get more productive and the question is, how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth based environment, that you're much more likely to grow and you're going to grow faster. And that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Burchard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down growthday.com forward/ed. So if you want to be more productive, by the way, he's asked me, I post videos in there every single Monday that gets your day off to the right start. Got about $5,000, $10,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with the app. Also, some of the top influencers in the world are all posting content in there on a regular basis, like having the avengers of personal development and business in one app. And I'm honored that he asked me to be a part of it as well and contribute on a weekly basis. And I do. So go over there and get signed up. You're going to get a free tuition, free voucher to go to an event with Brendan and myself and a bunch of other influencers as well. So you get a free event out of it also. So go to growthday.com forward/ed. That's growthday.com ed this episode is brought.
- [01:03]
B
To you by Google Gemini. With the Gemini app you can talk live and have a real time conversation with an AI assistant. It's great for all kinds of things like if you want to practice for an upcoming interview, ask for advice on things to do in a new city or brainstorm creative ideas. And by the way, this script was actually read by Gemini. Download the Gemini app for iOS and Android today. Must be 18 to use Gemini Live. This episode is brought to you by Dutch Bros. Big smiles, rocking tunes and epic drinks. Dutch Bros. Is all about you. Choose from a variety of customizable handcrafted beverages like our Rebel energy drinks, coffees, teas and more. Download the Dutch Bros app for a free medium drink. Plus find your nearest shop, order ahead and start earning rewards offer valid for new app users only. Free medium drink Reward upon registration. 14 day expiration terms apply. See DutchBros.com.
- [02:02]
A
This is the Ed Milet Show. Welcome back to the show everybody. So this week I'm so excited to share a great friend with you and you know, not a lot of people get invited back on the show. It's pretty rare that we have someone on two times and if they have been on more than once, it means they crushed the first time and or I love them. And in this case it's both. And so my guest today has the best name in all of the business world and the personal development world. Jasmine Starr joins us today. And most of you know Jasmine, but if you don't, world class speaker, I mean, unbelievable speaker, one of my favorites to listen to, thought leader, podcast host, CEO, entrepreneur, wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter, incredible human being. Jasmine Starr, welcome back to the show.
- [02:53]
B
And my let me, I can't get those Ed, my let gangster tears too early in the show, man. You know gangster tears like when it comes up in your eye but it doesn't fall. It's like gangster. Thank you for that intro. Thank you. It just warms my heart. Thank you for calling me a friend. That is exactly what I consider you.
- [03:07]
A
Thank you. You know what? I, you know, the more we've been around each other and this little group that we're into with Brendan and some other people, I've just watched you blossom the last few years. The first time I had you on the show because I thought, you know what, if this woman was a stock I'd be buying because she's going to go up. And you have and a lot of things in your life have changed, say since six, seven years ago when you're on the first time. I'm just curious. Interesting first question. What have you really learned? Like some lesson, major takeaway that surprised you the last six or seven years in either life or business. Just something you're like, whoa, I had an epiphany about something. What would it be?
- [03:41]
B
Oh, we going here? We're going to get a little bit ugly. I'm going to be very honest and it's probably you're going to people listening right now are either going to love it or hate it. But I will absolutely admit that I was dwelling in a place of victimhood and I couldn't even see it as such. I was saying that that I was rendered powerless around a situation. And when you say that you are powerless, what your mind is telling you is what you actually believe. So at the time, the last time we had the ability to film together, we were in person and nobody knew behind the scenes depth and the amount of time that I was waiting to become a mom. My husband and I had started the adoption journey 2017ish. And by the time we filmed I think it was like 2019. We'd been waiting two years, and it was a series of no, no, no, no. And I will tell you, I didn't think that I was saying that I was a victim, but the voices in my mind were saying, well, it's this person, it's this thing, it's this system that's rendering you powerless. You can't get what it is you want. Despite my best efforts, Ed, I mean, we hired the best lawyer. We went through international adoption. We were looking at foster to adapt. We did it all. And it was always closed door, closed door, closed door. And it wasn't until I started understanding that my belief made my reality. So if I believed that something was in my way, it was. And if I chose to believe that, I just had to find a way around it, that was true, too. So I started choosing a different system of belief that rendered me powerless and started asking myself, can you not just trust and can you not just believe that the right child is going to find you at the right time? Instead of saying, I will never be a mom, because guess what? Energetically, I was never going to be a mom, could I not just say that in the right time, the perfect child at the perfect moment, on the perfect day will find you so that you can create your version of a perfect family? When I started choosing different thoughts, I went from feeling powerless to a lot more powerful. But it took me years to actually learn that.
- [05:41]
A
That surprises me that you didn't have that already. You know, it's interesting. I think sometimes I don't know if it's a mask or whatever it is, but there are certain people that I would have never known that you struggled with the way you thought or your mindset or anything like that, because externally, you put off this incredible energy. You're obviously very pretty. You have unbelievable vocabulary. You know, Jasmine's unique, you guys, in the sense that there are not enough Latina influencers. And, you know, I'd love to see more people that look differently step into this space and flourish because it's needed. And that's one of the reasons that initially I had Jasmine on is I thought she's so unique in this space. And by the way, we're going to get into this in a minute. If you asked the average person Jasmine's expertise, I think they would tell you branding and social media, I know well enough that it's far beyond that now, but we are going to get into that because I know if I have Jasmine Star and I don't ask her some branding and social media stuff, people are Going to be really frustrated with me about it. Is there?
- [06:38]
B
Okay, okay, okay. Two things. Number one, thank you for highlighting that. There should be. And we really want to have more representation with female founders, women of color, Latinas, all of that. But there was one thing, too. You're like, oh, you know, Jasmine, I would never have guessed that. And you know what, Ed? You're right. I am a woman of integrity. What you saw was 100% my truth. But all of us, and this was the thing I couldn't see, is that when it came to business, I was growth mindset, brother. I was like, anything. Let's go all the time. When it was a project, when it was to set a goal, when I said, oh, this is some. Some impossible, dang crazy dream, I'd be like, we're all in. And for some reason, we can compartmentalize aspects of our life where we're growth mindset or we're a limited mindset.
- [07:20]
A
Very true.
- [07:20]
B
I had no idea that the narrative in my mind was growth in some aspects and limited in another. It wasn't until I flipped the script and I started understanding growth. Girl, the voices that you're listening to align to you. So that was just, like, the main caveat. I'm 100% myself. But it took me a while to realize that I was not in the best place mentally in a different aspect of my life.
- [07:39]
A
It's interesting you say that, because you can compartmentalize these things. Right before you and I went on air today, you were asking me about my health, and I was listening to myself talk about my health, and I'm like, I would not talk about myself or anybody in that light, any other area of my life other than my health. And I wonder if this weak mindset I've got in my health is contributing to my weak health. I was literally just thinking this when I was introducing you. I was still kind of in our previous conversation before we went on. And so you're right. You can have one mindset, you know, as a mom, and think you're incredible and you're growing, but in business, you're not. Or in your body, you're not in your spirituality or not. Super true. Is there something that on social media or branding, I'm curious, in that one space, because you are, to me, one of the very few gurus in the world on this. Is there something that you're doing differently now than you were doing years ago because your life is your social media? Like, I did her podcast, you guys. I went to her home. It looks like her social media, it's beautifully curated and everything's in place. At least when I came over. You cleaned up when I came over. But is there something that you would say is a lesson you've learned the last five or six years that's grown your social that maybe you didn't know before?
- [08:48]
B
No, I'm actually going to say the complete opposite. It's the very things that I started early in my practice that I still do today. And it's just brick by brick. I think that there's this temptation for us to say that there's going to be like a tipping point. It's like the overnight success, the magic pill. And what it has always been has been a level of consistency. And so when people say, have you done anything different in regards to growing your social media? And people say, oh, Jasmine's an influencer and you can call me anything you darn well please, as long as you know I'm serving, serving you well. I like to call myself an entrepreneur with influence because what my leadership is and the things that I'm building are on the back of a business that has influence. Whereas an influencer, no tea, no shade, what they're doing is they're building out themselves and then they get to be compensated for the things that they sell for other businesses. I want to ultimately sell and promote something that is going to be generational wealth for me. I want to build my acumen as a female entrepreneur. Having said that, having said that, what were the key cornerstones? Let's just be real. The key cornerstones when it comes to building social media and or a personal brand are the key cornerstones when it comes to building your mental health, your physical health, your spirituality, your family life, consistency. Be a person of your word. If you say that you are going to post one time a week, eight times a week, 18 times a week, stick with it. Second part would be have a plan. My mom always said if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Like that was just the truth. And so what happens is we want that level of consistency with our social media, with our spirituality, with working out. But if we don't plan it into our day, guess what? It's not going to happen.
- [10:19]
A
Yeah.
- [10:20]
B
And lastly, ask people what they want. That we think oftentimes when it comes to social media is like, well, we need to be interesting and we need to be vivacious. Actually, part of the reason why you have excelled is because your content is less about you and more about what you empower people to do.
- [10:37]
A
It's True.
- [10:38]
B
So when you ask people, hey, what do you want to know more of? What are you interested in? And content begets content you create. Enough times, you're going to get one person to ask you a question, and then you're going to say, oh, you know, Stephen from Chattanooga had asked me this. And all of a sudden, when you're putting out that content that people are asking of you, you're prepping your audience to start asking you more. So then you know, you can be like, ed, do an ask me anything. Go on stories, put out content as you see so fit. And so Ed and I had a conversation before we had started, and he's taking a little bit of a step back in regards to some aspects of social, but he's still consistent with his podcast. He has a plan for his podcast, and he's listening to what people are seeing, watching, and saying in regards to serving being better.
- [11:18]
A
Yeah, I also listened to you. Here's how you ended up coming back on one. I've wanted to for a while. And then a couple weeks ago, I was watching your stuff, and you talked about some hate you had gotten online, and someone had, I want to talk about this, though. And someone had said, oh, she tries too hard. And I think someone looks at you. You had a great husband, beautiful family, you're financially successful, you really live in a good life, and you have influence. You make an impact. And I think maybe they think maybe someone like you has thicker skin than they do. And then last night, one of our really good mutual friends, I won't say who, but had called me, and she had thought she was left out of a meeting we were all having. It turns out that meeting's not happening. But she was very hurt. And I'm wondering how you deal with criticism and hate, because I think the reason people don't keep their word on some of these things is they're afraid. They're afraid they're not enough. They're afraid they're gonna get criticized, they're afraid they're gonna be rejected. Some of them even be afraid that they're gonna be successful. So how do you deal with that? Because even to this day, even someone like you, it affects you, I assume, like, you even posted about it. So tell us about that.
- [12:30]
B
It. Absolutely. I'm. I would just not lie. It never feels good to read something about yourself that was said directly to you or say said to somebody else that you had come across. And the, The. The. The chasm between who we are and who we want to project ourselves to Be on social media is so wide so that if somebody drops a tiny kernel of truth, that has a little bit of a sting. So when somebody says, oh, she's trying too hard, because. So this is what happened. Somebody had sent a DM and they responded to my story thinking that they had forwarded that story to somebody else. But that comment came to me. Oh, look at. My dad always said, time got in truth. Everything is revealed with time, God and truth. And so I knew exactly where this person stood, and that's totally fine. And the reason why it hurt was because it felt a kernel of truth in it. I do try hard, Ed. I am not the most talented. I am not the smartest, I am not the cutest, I am not the richest, I am not the thinnest, I am not the whitest, the blackest, the brownies, the purplest. I am none of those things. So you know what? I do try. It doesn't come easy to me. And if I exude trying, then so be it. I would rather be criticized for trying and failing than being criticized for doing nothing at all. And here is the irony of it all, Ed. If we try or we don't try, they're going to judge. If we sit on the couch or go on a run, they're still going to judge. If we eat the pizza or a green smoothie, they're still going to judge. So people are going to judge anyway. Do you. Doing nothing less doesn't keep you safe. Doing something less robs you of the purpose you were put on this earth to do. So let them judge. Let them see me try. I will be unapologetic about it. It doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt, and it doesn't mean that I have thicker skin than anybody else. I just choose to continue doing me because I was put on this earth to serve somebody. And if you ain't that person, no problem. But if somebody's hearing this right now and I'm serving them, girl, I did what I was supposed to do today. That's it.
- [14:31]
A
Yeah, by the way, you are, I can tell you right now, that was one of the most fire things on the podcast in, like, five years right there. And by the way, girl or boy? Trust me, because there's a boy. There's a boy right here. Very fired up. You. You know, that sounds incredible. And, like, I. My blood's pumping even a little bit better than when we started. But let's talk about how a little bit, like, how you do it. So. Hey, guys, I want to jump in here for a second and talk about change and growth. And you know, by the way, it's no secret how people get ahead in life or how they grow. And also taking a look at the future, if you want to change your future, you got to change the things you're doing. If you continue to do the same things, you're probably going to produce the same results. But if you get into a new environment where you're learning new things and you're around other people that are growth oriented, you're much more likely to do that yourself. And that's why I love Growth Day. Write this down for a second. Growthday.com forward/ed my friend Brendan Burchard has created the most incredible personal development and business app that I've ever seen in my life. Everything from goal setting software to personal accountability journaling courses. Thousands of dollars worth of courses in there as well. I create content in there on Mondays where I contribute as do a whole bunch of other influencers like the avengers of influencers and business minds in there. It's the Netflix for high achievers or people that want to be high achievers. So go check it out. My friend Brennan's made it very affordable, very easy to get involved. Go to growthday.com ed that's growthday.com ed so if you're thinking about finding a unique gift this holiday, let me tell you something that could really help the people that you love grow and get better. You can't do any better than Masterclass. Masterclass allows you and your loved ones to learn from the best, to become their best. Take an expert in an industry and they're on Masterclass. It's the only streaming platform where you can learn and grow with over 200 of the world's best at what they do. Learn from any Masterclass instructor anywhere on a smartphone, computer, smart TV or even in audio mode. I have to tell you, I'm doing a cooking thing on there right now because I really want to make better food for the fam. And so I'm on there right now doing through a cooking thing and the classes make a difference. 80% of the members feel Masterclass made a positive impact in their life and there's no risk. Every new membership, 30 day money back guarantee. Masterclass always has great offers during the holidays, sometimes as much as 50% off. Head over to masterclass.com mylet for the current offer. That's up to 50% off at masterclass.com SL mylet masterclass.com mylet what makes a leader It's a tough question, but one thing's for sure, a true leader leads by example. And a true leader takes risks too. They plunge into life with determination. For those who lead by example and who approach life with a palpable passion, there's the Range Rover Sport. Each Range Rover Sport model offers a dynamic, sophisticated take on sporting luxury. The Range Rover Sport offers focused on road performance and and world renowned off road capability with industry leading features like adaptive off road cruise control that monitors ground conditions and acclimates to the present terrain. Agility, control and composure are achieved with dynamic air suspension and adaptive dynamics. Reduces unwanted body movements to deliver smooth and composed handling. True sophistication and excellent maneuverability all on a seriously stylish package. Sophisticated refinement meets visceral power in the Range Rover Sport, a new dimension of sporting luxury. Build your Range Rover Sport @Land Rover USA.com I know that one of the things you really wanted to do more of but had some trepidation about was more stage speaking. So I remember back in the day, in fact, you were so generous to Max one time who, yeah, she ended up buying my son a ticket to an event she was speaking at. And I mean literally writing, buying the ticket, not like copying a ticket. She bought my son a ticket to an event. I did not know that until after the fact. However, at that event I asked my son Sincerely, there's like 20 speakers. I said, who is the best speaker? And he said, your friend Jasmine was dead. But I know that at that time you still had a lot of anxiety about stepping out on stage and speaking for whatever reason. So do you still have it? And what did you actually do to overcome that fear? I'm sure, I'm sure you stepped out and did it, but was there anything else? Mindset wise, thought wise? And then what did you learn from stepping into that uncomfortable place?
- [18:52]
B
You know, Ed, for better, for worse, for better or for worse, there is the fear of the known and there is the fear of the unknown. And every time I get up against those two options, I have trained myself to choose the unknown. This goes back to the thing I just said. I would rather fail at something I love. I would rather be judged for trying. I would rather try something and not do it than to get on my deathbed and wonder what if that had happened. Because I think that, Ed, the last time we were on this podcast, on your podcast we talked about my mom's battle with cancer. And what I didn't say on that podcast was that my mom is still here with us today. And so all of that was a training of my mind to break my frame of reality, that if I. At the time, I was 25 years old and my mom was 50, and she was diagnosed with brain cancer and cancer of the central nervous system, her diagnosis was terrible. It was beyond bad. She had battled for nine years, and then they said, this is it. The time of her life had come, and we had to make some very hard decisions. At that time, lo and behold, there was a miracle working on in the background. But at that moment, I had this reconcile that we are not guaranteed time. And so if we aren't guaranteed tomorrow, if we're not guaranteed an hour from now, then why would I ever rob myself of trying to do something if it was put inside me? Ed, I have firmly believed that I wouldn't have the idea or desire to step on a stage and help other people if I didn't think I had the capacity to do it. And I didn't wake up this morning and say, you want to know what I want to be on? I want to go on the PGA Tour. Of course not. I didn't have that idea, Right? So if you have an idea, you want to become a baker, you want to become a teacher, you want to become a lawyer, you want to become a videographer, you want to become a supermodel, you wouldn't have that idea or desire in you if you didn't have the capacity to achieve it. So when I talked to Ed, who I. To me and Ed, and I say this to anybody. I don't just say this because we're on your podcast. You are, hands down the most phenomenal speaker I have ever sat and studied. Because, boy, I study you. I study you. I study the hands, I study the back, I study the lean down. And I'm, like, looking at what it is, and I feel like when I watch you speak, I am studying the game of Venus and Serena Williams. I'm watching somebody at the prime height of pure and utter Slidesdale perfection, saying, that's the bar. So when I have the opportunity to ask you, like, hey, how do I get better? Or how do I show up? It was just exciting. Exposure therapy. It was just saying, like, the more I do something, the less it scares me.
- [21:16]
A
Yeah.
- [21:17]
B
So back in. Back in the day, when Max went to that event, I just say, you gotta get your reps in, girl. You gotta speak at these small, little, tiny stages before you ever get to a big stage. And still to this day, I had a speaking event last week. I was dripping Sweat. I was doing deep breaths, deep breaths. And I said, the minute you get in, if you make it through that first five minutes without fainting or passing out, you're gonna be okay. And so that you know, people ask us, so what's the secret? The secret is reps and reminding yourself your life is not in danger. If you fall flat in your face, you're going to have another opportunity to do it again. This is not the last and only or final time.
- [21:50]
A
Jasmine. My gosh, this is so good. I'm just watching you. I mean, you're at a totally different level. You're. By the way, thank you for saying that. I'm just listening to you rip right now. I'm like, my gosh, he's so good. You, You're. You bring massive energy. Like, even today, like, I'm trying to even get to where you are energetically today. Seriously. And yet I know you well enough to know, like, any of you listening to this man or woman, like, a lot of life runs a company, has to do all of her social media posting. Wife, mother, like I said early sister, she's got a twin. Like, I know her life, right? Like, a lot of you, like, there's a lot. And I wonder what you do to protect your peace. To quote our friend Trent Shelton. Is there anything that you do as a ritual or a practice or habit so that when you do show up, it's pretty much your A game when you show up? I think a lot of moms or dads out there, like, I'm so spent at work, it's kind of my C game with my kids or, you know, I'm so busy with my kids and work. It's. I work out, but it's like a D workout. What do you do to show up like you are today in your A game? Do you take breaks? Do you have a ritual or prayer thing you do mental health stuff? Like, what do you do?
- [23:04]
B
I would say three things keep me at this energy level. Number one, it's rituals. So every single morning without file, I will get up and I will pray and I will meditate and I will journal now before anybody's like, well, that must be nice. How long are you spending doing that? Honestly, it's about 15 to 20 minutes. I'm going to get in what I can get in, but I have to start my day that way because it's super grounding. I get into a gratitude practice, I get into a meditation, I pray and then I read. And the second thing, that without fail, six days a Week I am working out and I am waking up early. I'm having my quiet time and I'm working out before my husband or my daughter are awake. I am really highlighting that time as just solo me time. I have to fill my cup because my team, people who I serve, my business, my daughter, my husband, my family, my friends, they're all taking from my cup, which I love. But if my cup wasn't full, if I didn't take care of myself first, I couldn't serve and be in that place. So between the prayer, meditation, gratitude, between working out and then, it's a little bit difficult for a lot of people and I respect it. But I have to say, I live and die by my calendar. My team fills every single moment. If you were to look at my calendar, people would look at that and be like, that is disgusting. I could never have a calendar like that. But literally, minute by minute by minute, my productivity is really high because every minute of my day is calculated and planned. And I think that that level of discipline. So we restrict ourselves so we can indulge. I think that shutting my computer at 5:00 every day is an indulging opportunity. I get to hang out with my daughter, who gives me life. I get to hang out with my husband, who gives me life. I get to cook together, or we go out to eat, or we go to the library, or we go to the park. That gives me life. My energy is filled in the beginning of the day and my energy is sustained at the end of the day because in the middle of the day, it's take, take, take, take, take. So I like to protect my energy and to sustain my energy on both sides of the day.
- [24:55]
A
That's so good. You know, that's a secret. Everybody is. If you watched elite performers, how they manage time and use time and how pressured it is to. There's. It's funny. Some of my most popular clips are how I talk about my mini day and compressing timeframes. Also some of the funniest clips online. There was an interview I did where I misquoted time and stuff and it's just, it's like got millions of views, but it's the same clip actually twice. It's my most liked and my most laughed at. But the point that is that I think if people spent a day with you, like even scheduling the show today, first thing I said to you before we got live is I said, hey, you're hard to book. And she's like, I got an hour here, I got an Hour next Wednesday. And what I loved about that is I didn't feel guilty because that's how I am. Like, my days are like, bank, bank, bank, bank, bank, bank. And I love that. But I also have these practices like you do that feed me. I think there's levels to this game in life. And if most people knew the way that we viewed time, they would begin to see it as more precious and use it a little bit differently or frankly, not waste it as much so that when they. So that you can indulge. Like you said that other thing you said earlier, by the way, about exposure therapy. I'm stealing that about, you know, just exposure therapy on getting more comfortable doing something was brilliant. All right, we better do some social media and branding stuff or I'm gonna get in big trouble. So give us some advice on social. Like your social looks like you. What I mean by that is like, even how your office is set up there, the look, the colors. There's something when you go to your page that it's pleasing, it's pleasant. Mine's mine. When I was posting, it was just a. Just gar. It's a mess, but I'm kind of a mess, so it sort of fit me too. Right? But what advice would you give? Someone's listening. Okay, look, I'm not a big social media person, but I probably should be doing more of it. What would be something tangible you would tell them to do?
- [26:44]
B
Well, what we've seen. And so I'm going to geek out for a second geek. And you start yawning. You just say, girl, let's move on to the next thing. And so I love. I love history. So I didn't learn how to read until I was 11. I was homeschooled. I was never like the smart or the intellectual kid. And that's okay because you found ways around to find things that were actually interesting. So coming from like a storytelling oral family, my dad loves history, so he would talk to us a lot about history. So there's this deep ingrained love of history. So I started realizing that into adulthood. One of my greatest assets as an entrepreneur was to be able to understand that history repeats itself. And if history repeats itself, cycles of business repeat itself. So what we've seen is a cycle in which marketing existed. Let's go back to Oprah. Right? Oprah Foundational. The channels of marketing at that time, during the 80s and early 90s, newspaper, radio, ish, and television. Those are the only three ways. Now, if you didn't have cable and a lot of people did not have cable. When Oprah started hitting up those markets, you were really dominating television at 3pm every day. Very few other things could be distracting at that time. If you wanted to have some sort of education, entertainment or enlightenment, Oprah served that really well. And then all of a sudden if we were to flash forward into the time frame of Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, well then the, the platform started diversifying. People were no longer just watching tv, they were watching tv, they were watching cable, they were on Facebook, they were on Instagram, they were on Twitter, they were on YouTube. Ish. So what happens is Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton were able to capture a new market that didn't exist in the over market. So they found rich, ripe land that not a lot of people were paying attention to. So because people weren't creating content at that time, they went through and they said, we're going to create so much that we're going to dominate this platform. Shortly thereafter, Mr. Beast comes on with long form YouTube content. But as you've noticed, there's been more platforms and more ways for people to become attention driven on what they find important. No longer just the newspaper, just the television. Now you have a litany of ways for people to find information, get educated, entertainment or enlightenment. So if you are understanding and saying I need to be on social media, the temptation is to think I need to be on everything in all ways and all things. And you get burnt out, overwhelmed, and you don't see any traction. But that is like deciding, I'm going to go to the gym and I'm going to swim on that day. I'm going to work on my arms, my back, my calves, my toes toes, my lats. And all of a sudden you're like, why don't I have a six pack? You were doing a lot, brother. Like, so what we need to do is we need to say how do we focus? And the good news is that what we're starting to see now in marketing trends is people want deeper content, not wider content. People want to choose their platform and they want to go deep around niche content. Fitness, comics, cooking, whatever your shtick is. Don't think that you need to talk about all the things on all the platforms in all the ways. If you're just saying I want to prove myself that I can be consistent, great. Let's start simple. Pick a platform and pick topics. If you are building out personal development, what about personal development do you really want to talk about? Is it mindset, personal development in Regards to a belief system, personal development in regards to positive thinking, whatever it is, pick your lane. Stick to that lane. Go deep, deep, deep. Build a small audience, not a fan, people who like what you do, but of evangelists, people who will tell other people about your account. You serve that small group of people, and then they go and tell their friends and their family to really be about you. That's true growth. And that will take a long time. Which leads me to, like, the second point about social media and where we need to be. Patience, patience, patience, patience. You will not get results in three months. You will not get results in six months. You might not even get real results for a year. So if you go in and saying, I'm going to go on one platform, I'm going to serve a small group of people, I'm going to be consistent, I'm going to have a plan, I'm going to ask people what they want, and I'm not expecting anything for a year. All right, now we could talk.
- [30:50]
A
I second every single thing that Jasmine just said. One of the mistakes I made that I got away with was broad content when I started, because mine was, and it still is broad. But I think a lot of times my audience particularly looks at me and thinks, oh, I can talk about everything I can do. Fitness, spirituality, business, marketing, you know, personal development, wellness. And I really don't believe that's the way to go. I believe what you just said is deeper, not wider. I totally agree with that.
- [31:17]
B
Well, well, Ed, if I might, and correct me like, I love. I love. I love being corrected. I really do. So there's this theory called Sheehan's Wall, which in order for you to be able to earn the right to talk about a lot of things, you have to break the wall.
- [31:34]
A
Yeah.
- [31:34]
B
And so Rory Vaden explained this to me. It's like, if you want to talk about tennis and you want to talk about chocolate and you want to talk about cooking and you want to talk book reading, well, you can't break the wall with four bullets. But if you decide that you're going to talk about cooking and be the best and go deep and find that platform and stay consistent and have a plan that becomes a cannonball and that will break through the wall. And once you break through the wall, you can then talk about golf, cooking, book reading. So, Ed, he earned the right to go broad with his content because on the front end, for many years, behind the scenes media, he built out a business and built out a team of evangelists who knew him as one Singular figure about one topic broke through the wall. So what many people saw is the podcast and the social going broad. But what they didn't see but all those years before was how deep and wide his audience went. He broke through the wall, which earned him the right to talk about those.
- [32:24]
A
You're 100, right? You're, by the way, you're. You. I'd like to correct you, you're 100% right about that. You are. And also I probably a little bit older and had had some. I don't, this sounds like I'm, I don't, I'm not bragging when I say this, but I had had some success in multi, some credibility in multiple areas before as well. But like you're.
- [32:42]
B
Oh yeah, just, just, just a wee bit there, Mr. Ed. My lap just a wee bit, you know.
- [32:46]
A
You know. Yeah, but you're, you're not a lot but you. But thank you. I appreciate you saying that. I truly do. This message is sponsored by Green Light. And I gotta tell you, I wish Green light existed when I was a kid, but I'm so grateful it's existed for my kids. So you look, we all know the old saying, give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and he eats for life. This isn't just true with fishing, it's true for parents with their kids. And one of the most under taught skills in life is financial success and responsibility. And as we enter the gifting season, now's the perfect time to give your kids money skills that'll last well beyond the holidays. And that's where Green light comes in. Green Light is a debit card and money app for families. Parents can send money to their kids and keep an eye on kids spending and saving while kids and teens learn to build money, confidence and lifelong financial literacy skills. One of the most important skills in life. Sign up for Greenlight today@Greenlight.com ED that's Greenlight.com ED to try Greenlight today. Greenlight.com ED this show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Listen, it's the time of year where you want to make the next year one of the great years of your life. One of the things you should probably consider is therapy. Most successful people and happy people that I know are either in therapy or have been in therapy because it helps them get clarity, helps them unwind some things that are holding them back and it gets them focus on the things that need to move forward. So whether you've got major trauma in your life, you need to work through or just a lack of clarity and focus in your life that you would like to get more clear on things and a sense of direction in your life. Therapy is a great way to do it, and that's where better help is so great for people to learn different things and that's where better help comes in. So if you're thinking of starting therapy, give better help a try. It's entirely online, it's convenient, it's flexible, suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist. You can switch therapists for any time for no additional charge. Find comfort this December with better help. Visit betterhelp.comedshow today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp h lp.comedshow I want to go back to life stuff in a minute, but I got to ask you one more thing on just business and marketing first, too.
- [34:55]
B
Yes. Yes.
- [34:57]
A
What is guerrilla marketing? Like, what does that term mean? It's like in my notes and one of our mutual friends is like, you got to ask her about two things. So I'm going to do them back to back. Ask her about what guerilla marketing is because I've heard the term, but I don't really understand it. And then the other thing I'll ask you after, that's the same friend told me to ask you two things. So I want to ask you guerrilla marketing first. What the heck? What does that term mean?
- [35:16]
B
I mean, guerrilla marketing. And for a while, ed, I mean, so this is how, you know, like I backed myself into business. I don't have an mba for all intents and purposes. I shouldn't have started a business. And then yet I did and found success multiple times over. And so now having the ability to sit as an advisor for companies, I'm an investor. I have a holding company. What I could see are trends and patterns. And anytime that they I see a marketing rut in a business, I immediately think of gorilla. And for a long time I thought gorilla was guerrilla like, oh, no, no. It's guerrilla like Che Guevara. Okay, so it's G U E R I L L A guerrilla marketing, which means subversive, different going against the norm, doing something that's so polar opposite than what we are constantly seeing that it can't help but stick out. And so a very common example that I'll use, we, many of us are familiar with an app called Bumble. It's a dating app where girls pick the guys. Okay, well, in the beginning, Whitney, the Founder, CEO. Well, she didn't have a lot of money for traditional marketing at the time. You have Match and you have Hinge, and you have all these other apps that are going out there using traditional forms of marketing on social media. But what she decided to do is say, okay, we don't have a lot of money, but we can get really creative. So she printed out yellow, bright yellow shirts that said Bumble. And she had a contingency of girls and colleges around the United States where they would all wear this shirt. And traditionally, a class would start at noon or at 2. The class would go about 10 minutes. She would have a girl walk into a large auditorium, walk in while the professor speaking. She stands in the front with her bright yellow shirt that says Bumble. And she kind of looks around and says, like, oh, sorry, wrong classroom, and walks out. This contingency of girls wearing yellow shirts with the word Bumble. People are like, what is that? They started getting people talking. We're like, yeah, this girl walked in, she was wearing yellow shirt. Yeah, this girl walked in, she was wearing a shirt. Wait, wait, wait, what? And so people started searching for what Bumble was. That's classic guerrilla marketing. Getting people asking, what? Wait, how is this going on? And rather, recently in the ufc. I know you love the ufc. My husband, jd. I mean, so there was a recent, rather, guerrilla marketing tactic where it says, like, we can predict the next president. And it was actually like a crypto exchange. But people were so interested that they just saw this ad and were like, wait, what is that? Anytime somebody's saying, wait, what is that? What's going on? Guerrilla marketing at its finest. When you have people searching to find the answer and hitting your website, that's guerrilla marketing at its finest.
- [37:30]
A
It's so good. Are you guys listening to this today? By the way, those of you that have not been listening to the show for, like, six or seven years, go back at some point and go watch my first interview with Jazz. And by the way, you'll see she was incredible. She truly was. That's why I had her on. I had Jasmine on when she was just really getting going. But I want you to watch that episode and then put it next to today, and you will see what hard work and reps, exposure, therapy, learning associations, getting around the right people will do for you. I mean, you're talking about someone who has grown tremendously the last few years. And so this is where I want to go back into, like, growing as a human. I want to get into the. The juice here. Now, what Is self actualization. I know what the term means, but they said ask her about this. She's got a good message about this. I'll tell you after the interview who it was that asked me to ask you that.
- [38:19]
B
Oh, good. Yeah. I have to think this person putting me in the hot seat over here. Yes.
- [38:23]
A
But clearly, clearly I even in my own case, like, I think I've just gotten so busy over the years that's sort of been like on the back burner for me in the way that I look at it. So what does that term even mean to you? And teach us something about it because I want to say who it was, but I'm not going to say.
- [38:40]
B
I'm so, I'm so happy that we're actually talking about this right now because you had said. And I think I'm going to actually challenge and invite you to apply it a different label to this because you said I'd put this on the back burner. And after we actually talk about self actualization, I think you're going to choose a different way to say I put it on the back burner. Here's why. So self actualization. So there is a social scientist by the name of Maslow. He created Maslow's hierarchy of needs. And so if you're just listening on this on, on audio picture a triangle with the apex at the top. And then what you're going to do is you're going to divide that triangle into four parts, the largest at the bottom. Now at the bottom, Maslow says we have this hierarchy of needs. We cannot find success, joy, happiness if the base of our triangle isn't covered. The base of our triangle is safety. Do we have food? Do we have a place to live? If people don't feel safe about having a place to live or having food or taking care of their family, if they don't have that, they cannot experience true enlightenment, joy, purpose. So once we go through the base things covered, then we're going to go into the next smaller area on that triangle and that's love. Once we have our basic needs met and we feel safe, we can then accept the love that we think we deserve. Now after that, we then want, we go up that triangle a little bit. We want success, we want pursuit of things, but we cannot feel successful if we don't have our safety needs and if we don't feel truly loved. This is why we see a lot of rich people who are crying in their Ferraris.
- [40:12]
A
Yep.
- [40:13]
B
Because they actually think that money or success will get them love. But what it will get would be bought friends and transactional relationships. And so beyond having safety, love, success at the very top, you get to purpose, AKA self awareness, AKA I'm standing in the light that I am supposed to be in. And so when Ed, you had said, oh, I think I put on the back burner. No, Ed, I truly believe, because I know you as a friend, you are safe and my God, you are loved by the people who matter the most to you. And you absolutely have found your version of success. Who cares if I think you're successful or not? Because you've defined your version of success and you've met that. So that when you are actually living in your purpose, so when you're actually finding joy by choosing the stages you want to speak in and the business ventures that you want and the time with yourself, you're actually at a point of self actualization and so much confidence that you're standing in your purpose that it's not on the back burner. You're just dwelling in a higher, a higher energy level and a higher confidence than most other people. And that, my friend, is power.
- [41:15]
A
No, I totally agree with you. I would say in my case, we agree on what the term means too. And I know I, I love Maslow's hierarchy of needs. What I, what I would tell you, like, just being transparent. Sometimes on the show, there's like these moments where I say things. I'm like, oh, you're recording this, by the way. I have lived the way that you just described fully for many, many years. But this last year, I sort of went back to safety in the sense that I was so scared about my life and my health. If I'm just being honest with my audience, I sort of, I sort of, I went all the way back down to am. You know, in all candor, like, am I safe? Am I breathing? Am I going to be okay? And so I did put a little bit of all the other elements of my life, because you are, you are right. I mean, I certainly live my life that way. But this last year I'm just sort of getting back now to like, okay, it turns out I'm probably not going to die. So let's, let's, let's live now again. Let's live fully. Let's not play defense all the time. So, yeah, 100. By the way, it's one of my favorite conversations we've had on this show. And as long I'm getting emotional. Sorry. And as long as I can remember, because it's important, it's important for me when I ask you about something because.
- [42:21]
B
You ed, can I repeat back something? Because I want to document it for me. And so I find myself that I have to repeat. You said, I realized I'm not going to die, so now it's time to live.
- [42:31]
A
Amen.
- [42:32]
B
And I just think to myself, if we can all, like, repeat that again and again, that if there is breath in my lungs and my heart is beating, that now is not the time I'm going to die. So why not choose to live? You friend. Oh, you're a gift.
- [42:47]
A
Amen.
- [42:47]
B
You're a gift, homie. You a gift out here. You a gift. Gangster cheer. Got a little gangster to you coming out again.
- [42:53]
A
You cracked me up, but thank you. I'm glad you did repeat that because you know what, everybody, I mean, event at one point, we're all going to go. And I, I said this to the person the other day. I said, I already kind of know the end of the game. I get to go to heaven, so I might as well play. You know what I mean? Like, I already know the end of the story. And in my case, in my faith, you know, the case has already been made for me, so why not take some risks in your life? The case has already been made. You're going to heaven.
- [43:17]
B
So I already won.
- [43:18]
A
I already won. I already won. It's just true. It's like. And that's what I mean about that. Now I'm getting back to the self actualization in my life.
- [43:28]
B
Okay, I have to tell you, I was just looking on ebay, where I go for all kinds of things I love.
- [43:33]
A
And there it was, that hologram trading card. One of the rarest, the last one I needed for my set.
- [43:39]
B
Shiny like the designer handbag of my dreams. One of a kind. Ebay had it. And now everyone's asking, ooh, where'd you get your windshield wipers?
- [43:48]
A
Ebay has all the parts that fit my car.
- [43:50]
B
No more annoying, just beautiful. Whatever you love, find it on eBay. EBay.
- [43:57]
A
Things people love, what holds everybody back. So, like, it's two of us talking here today. We have all these things about what you should do to make your life better and improve. And then yet someone gets out of the podcast today so excited, feeling in this beautiful state. They're optimistic, they're dreaming. Their energy levels been shifted by you today. And then something happens, right? What do you think that something happens is that holds people back? If you were to define even in your case or in most people's cases, what holds them back and whatever that it is, how do they overcome it? I'm asking you difficult stuff today. I'm pushing you.
- [44:38]
B
Well, and this is really good because I feel very confident in my answer because it is not of me. There are people who have studied the patterns that occur of why things happen. When do we feel like that? Bummer. When do we feel like, oh, we got hit? When we feel like, man, I just got jolted. And oftentimes it's triggered by what we see. And in recent history, in the last less than two decades, we are holding not just what our friends and family are doing at that very time in the palm of our hand, but millions of millions of people whose lives look beautiful and perfect and amazing. And so even if they're listening to this podcast and somebody's out to walk or sitting in the carpool line or making dinner or listening in their cubicle while they're getting their work done and they're feeling good, what happens is immediately after or sometime in the near hour or so, we're going to pick up and we have a dopamine hit where we look at the thing that will jar us back and make us realize that we're not where we thought we would be. And Dr. Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan wrote a book called the Gap and the Gain. And this is why we feel bummed with where we are right now. If you were to look at yourself right now, I don't care if you're in a car that you are not you don't really want to drive or a car you love. I don't care if you're Cub sitting in a cubicle or the White House else. I want you to look at yourself and I want you to go back to who you were when you were 14 years old. Picture yourself as a freshman in high school and you're walking. You see yourself walking up to your locker and you shut the locker with your right hand and you look at your 14 year old self in the face and you say, this is where we live. This is who we got married to. Yes, she drives me crazy, but we married her and we have a kid. And you want to know what? That Honda Accord you wanted to buy, I got that in 07. I now have like a Honda Odyssey. But you want to know what? We're still in the Honda family. If you were to go back and tell yourself what has happened since you were 14 years old, chances are you would blow your mind. The person you are today to who you were, well, that's the gain. That's who you've become. Now, if you were to go into this alternate self, this future version of yourself, or this self, who you think you should be, you're out here and you're 37 years old and you're working in a cubicle, and you thought that you'd be working in the uppermost left office in a high rise in your city, and you're not there, well, what happens is this other idealized version of yourself who should have be thinner, richer, drive nicer cars, go on bigger vacations, have perfect kids, never have dirty laundry or dishes stacked up in your sink. You start comparing yourself to who you think you should be and the distance between who you are today and that idealized version of yourself is called the gap.
- [47:25]
A
Yeah.
- [47:26]
B
And we can choose every day to live in one of them. We will either live in the gain. Look at what has happened. Look at all this stacked proof. Look at how God never let me down. I thought many times that my life was over, that I couldn't get back up. And yet here I stand. And despite it all, it's better than I actually thought it could be. If we live in that place and we live in the game, then our energy, our interactions, our belief system become aligned to our divine purpose in life. Now, if we live in the gap, the things that we don't have and the person we're not and the way that we think it should be and the amount of money we should have in our bank account, guess what? You're going to be out of alignment because it will never be enough. So every day we get the choice. And if at the end of this episode, for some reason you're feeling yourself, and then all of a sudden, tomorrow, tonight, next week, you open it up and you're like, man, I went to high school with that guy. And then all of a sudden you find yourself in the gap, you say, no, no, no, I'm in the game. And what got me to this point, it's not going to get me to the next point. So I'm going to change my system of beliefs and the way that I show up, I'm going to be consistent. I'm going to create a plan, I'm going to ask others, and I'm going to serve. Well, that, my friends, is how we continue moving forward. But we have to make the choice. A lot of us, we live in the ether of, I don't know why I feel this way. Yes, you do. You in the gap, identify the gap and choose to get in the game. That changes Everything.
- [48:51]
A
Oh, my gosh. So good. So good. You. You're blowing my mind. I. So I'm. I'm. I'm getting back in the game, and I've been in this rut, and I just got to start, like, right now. I got to start. I got to do something today. If you were my coach and I was that person, what would you say? Start doing this. I've changed my mindset. I'm going to be in the gain. I'm not going to be in this gap. I'm not going to be comparing. I'm not going to be lamenting that ether thing. You talked about all of that. So, okay, now I got my head. I think it's coming together, right? I'm in the rut. What do I do now?
- [49:32]
B
So talk about two things. Our brain loves proof. So our brain is a supercomputer. And so what our brain wants to do is go back and say, what were the patterns in my life that brought me this result? And so what I want to do is I want to stack proof. I want to shape my computer code to make what I have is enough. And gratitude is a shortcut. I want you to have a quick win. If you're like, okay, Jasmine, I'm ready to live in the gain. Good. Let's not make it about you, because you are going to let yourself down because you beat yourself up. But if you were to live in the gain, I want you in a professional capacity. If you're like, okay, I'm going to show up to my business for a different way. Go back to anybody, somebody who believed in you when nobody else did, and send them an email, a text message, or write them a note in a text message. This is the quickest win. And just be like, hey, thank you so much for be specific about what they shifted in you and when they believed in you. And if you want to start mending personal relationships, reach out to somebody who. Oh, it hurts. You know, it's like the person where you're like, I got to be the bigger person. And I'm. I'm grown. I'm over it. And yet you hear their name like, oh, if you are in a relationship with somebody, you just want to reach out and be like, hey, I just want to say I hope you're doing well. Thank you so much for who I became in the process. Or text your kid, that annoying kid who argued with you. 12 years old. No, I don't need to take my soccer cleats. And then all of a sudden, you get a call at 2:30. Mom, I need my soccer cleats. Text that child and say I love you. Yes, I get annoyed when you forget your stuff, but I will always love you. Reach out to people who impact you and I promise you the way that they show up will co sign in your computer system. Gratitude makes it enough. We're gonna start stacking those small wins and then secondly, make a plan for consistency. What do you want to be consistent about? Communication, working out your business, posting on social media, whatever your plan is. And say I'm gonna be consistent, going to the gym three times a week. I'm gonna be on consistent social media four times a week. Whatever it is, choose your number and then in integrity, stick to the number. But how do you stick to it? By creating a plan. Now your plan could be as simple as going into a calendar and saying from one to two is the time that I'm going to create two social media posts this week. From one to two is when I'm going to go to the gym. From one to two is when I'm going to meal plan. Because I want to make a difference in my life. If you don't have a plan of how you're going to deploy on your consistency, you're going to lose. So gratitude, consistency in a plan, that is where we start taking action today.
- [51:59]
A
That's so good. You know, I have to tell you, sometimes when you get a little bit older like I am, you do things sort of reflexively and automatically that you just, you don't even realize that it's probably a, a strength of yours. So anytime I just want to second which what Jasmine just said, like, anytime I kind of come up with like a new clear vision for what I want to do, I automatically like immediately it's the same process. I make the plan.
- [52:24]
B
That's right.
- [52:25]
A
And I didn't realize that there are actually a lot of people who actually make decisions and then leave the decision without a plan and then like, but they're going to get back over to the plan. I'm telling you that it's like one flowed process for me. Like if I decide I got made a decision, even I'm like about four or five weeks ago on something with my money. Like I just strategically to do something with my money. I didn't leave that decision without the plan to do it. Who are the people I need to do in raw? Who do I need to text? Who do I need to call? What's the structure? So you're so right. I think maybe sometimes some of Us take for granted some of the things that we've built habitually into our lives that we do well, assuming everybody does that. But they don't. And so the plan part is massive, everybody. Speaking of the plan part, like, we're gonna go a little longer because it's too good. Sorry for you, but it was too good. My audience is gonna be the benefactor, so I'm grateful in advance. But I gotta ask you one more thing on posting and branding and life, like, scheduling, because I want to merge the two worlds of social, branding, business and sort of scheduling, like what you said with your calendar. I want to ask you two things about your posting A, and answer them together. A, it looks to me like you're doing way more video stuff than, like, stills like you used to. You used to do. Because your photograph, her background, by the way, she had the, like, most perfect photography business of all time. But, like, is that accurate that, like, maybe video is doing better and that's why you're doing more of that? Correct me if I'm wrong about that. And B, you do have a lot of content. I think the average person listening is like, I don't have the time. So do you actually schedule, like twice a week? We shoot content. These are the two windows we shoot. Because it looks like you're shooting. I know you don't, but it looks like you're shooting every day, all day, all the time. And I think that's what causes a lot of people not to want to do it so lot in that question. I'll just let you take it and run with it.
- [54:09]
B
Yeah. And I'm going to start off by saying that the answer, when somebody says it looks like it's a lot, I don't want to do it. Well, we first have to change that because what. Whatever my answer is, I'm going to tell you it's probably a lot more than what the average person is doing now. However, if you want outsized results, there's a good chance you're gonna have to give outsized effort. And if you are not committed to an outsized effort or an outsized change, you cannot complain about the results you don't have from the work you don't do. So we just have to first acknowledge it's going to be uncomfortable and it's going to take time and it's going to suck and you're going to feel awkward and it's going to take more time than you anticipate. And then when you post it, you're not going to get the Results that you want? Of course not. Because life doesn't work like that. Last night, my neighbor, she's Caucasian and she's like, jasmine, I want to make birria. And it's just like basically shredded beef. But it takes a process in this whole thing. And so she's sending me photos and videos of her process. And then last night, she's going through and she's sending me a video and she's like, it's not coming out. I said, this is the first time you did it. Did you want to have restaurant quality Birria tacos with having done it the first time? We got to do this a lot more. Same thing with social media. So let's start with question number one. Right now, I am creating more video, not because I want to, but because that is what the algorithm is indexing.
- [55:34]
A
Yeah.
- [55:34]
B
I am not creating social media because I love it. I actually am not a fan. I actually do it as the cost of doing business. It is a part of my business that I must do if I want outsized results. That's just the facts. I cannot wait for the day that I get to throw my phone in the water and never have to create another piece of content again. I can't wait. But until that day comes, I'm gonna shut up, buttercup, and buckle up. Why? Because we need to do things that other people are not willing to do. That is how we win. When we run in the margins and we stay consistent. When other people quit, you win by default. I don't win because I'm the best. I win because I'm the last person standing. And if that message isn't resonating with you, the rest of what I'm about to say is not going to resonate with you either. However, when we talked about consistency and a plan, if I say I want to place like I'm going to just choose for right now one social platform and let's say that's Instagram. If I say I want to post every single day on Instagram, and I do, on average, I need to create at minimum 30 pieces of content. So what I do is I block out two days a month, full work days, and that's when I'm batching my content. So I will do all of my iPhone reels talking to camera. Simple. That is what I'm actually doing today. So I start my days traditionally at 9am however, on my content days, I go from 8am to 5pm but then because Eds like, Jasmine, do you want to record a podcast I was like, skirt, I'm gonna move my schedule. I'll work a little bit later today so I can get this podcast in. But literally from 8am to 5pm I am banging out content. Content. I have all of my outfits laid out. I don't take any other meetings. I don't do anything. This is my day. On another day of the month, I' recording all of my podcasts. Now my podcast will get small clips from that and turn it in. So every single month, I have at minimum 30 pieces of content every single day. But that's twice a month. So the rest of the 28 days, I am building businesses, I'm building teams, and I'm building my dream.
- [57:20]
A
You're a force. Like, this is so good. I know sometimes you listen to the show guys, I'm like, hey, they're so. I just so grateful when I have people on that serve. I only do this show and every year around this time, quite frankly, Jasmine, I go, do I want to keep doing it? But it keeps growing and growing and growing and then days like today or I'll meet fans of the show and I just know it's making a difference. And I'm like, I'm so great. I get to do this, like right now in this moment with you. I'm like, I get to do this with her right now. That's how good this is, my friend. I just want you to know. Okay, I've got one for one. By the way, if you want help with your social media, this lady has a business that could help you. So really quickly tell us about Social Curator. And then I got a question for you that I know everybody wants to hear at the end.
- [58:06]
B
Well, you know, Ed, okay, so if you're interested in Social Curator, it is a social media marketing agency in your pocket. It's for business owners to help them show up consistently. That's all I'm going to say about that. Here's why. Because in the world that we live, everybody is asking, asking, asking, and that's fine. That's business. You don't get what you don't ask for. I'm a believer of that. So I'm going to ask you if you'd like more information. You could check out socialcarita.com.
- [58:26]
A
I love it. Okay, I want to ask you two last questions. I don't think I've asked this in a long time, or maybe if I've ever asked it, is there something that I wouldn't know as a guy that I should know about anything that's different about being a female in business that you would want to share. That's easier, more difficult, a different path. And then even on top of that, being a woman of color or being in a minority group of people, that is just different about doing business or navigating or if you wanted to speak to that group for a minute and say this is sort of a little bit unique to you or is all of this stuff neutral, you know what I'm saying? Like it's the same for everybody. I'm just curious as to your view on that because you're, you are one of the few, incredibly, you're one of the few prominent Latina influencers and businesswomen on social media. Now there are others, but there should be hundreds of thousands. And there's such a, it's such a big consumer group as well. So that's a broad question and probably a weird question, but it's like something.
- [59:34]
B
I want to ask. Well, okay, it actually dovetails into my answer. So we're going to put a pin in this. You said it's a big broad question and I want to go back to that in a second. But a couple stats. Of every business ever created, only 4% of those businesses will ever make over a million dollars. And of that 4%.7% of females began businesses, female started businesses, 0.7% will cross the million dollar mark. End of that, 0.7%, 0.2% will be created and started by a woman of color.
- [60:09]
A
Wow. Wow.
- [60:09]
B
So 0.2% ed. Wow. The Latino market in the United States is the fastest growing market, but disproportionately to the amount of businesses that are started and Bey and Excel beyond the seven figure mark. So what I was going to say was the frame at which we look and view the world is our reality. So if somebody comes to me and they say, did you find that it was a disadvantage to be a Latina building a business or a woman building a business? And I said yes, it was a disadvantage. That's my reality. That's the frame in which I view the world. And if somebody were to ask me has it been difficult or different? And I say I took what I had and I made it work, work. That's my reality and that's the reality that I chose. I don't know what it is like to build a business with opportunity, with never second guessing, with confirmation bias. I don't know that. So I'm not going to imagine and so I'm not going to say, listen, if you are a Woman of color. If you are a brother, if you're a sister, I'm not going to say these are the things you should do, because I don't know the frame in which the reality that you're working or viewing the world. What I can say, because I know Ed is asking from the bottom of my heart, talk to us about that experience. And I'm saying I am one small voice with a very, very, very small litany of the work that I have behind me. But I know Ed, and I know people like Ed. And if there is a person in a place to invite somebody into a room, make a seat for them. Make a seat for them. If you walk in a room and everybody looks the same, make a seat for them. And I mean this on both sides. If you're walking in and all the rooms are just brown, make a seat for a black person, a white person, a yellow, purple, green. Diversity makes a stronger business, Div. Diversity is what made this country as amazing as it is. But if you find yourself with opportunities that are outsized and there isn't a woman or a person of color or a few of them in the room, and you have the ability to do that, please do that. Understand that what we walk around, what you walk around as normal is what many of us look at as privilege. And you're like, it's not privilege. When you get to walk in a room like you belong. That is a privilege. And never forget, there are so many people who want to be in that room. If you have the ability to put a chair at the table, that is the most powerful thing that you can do. And dang it. And this night. This ain't even a gangster tear anymore.
- [62:27]
A
This ain't even a gangster. These are real tears.
- [62:30]
B
There are real tears. They're real tears. It's like, I've been in these rooms, and, Ed, you, my friend, have just opened doors for me so many times over, and I get choked up because I'm asking you to do the thing that you've done for me again and again and just want to say thank you.
- [62:44]
A
I love you. I love being able to. Now I'm going to get that way. One of the. One of the most amazing things about doing this show has been the blessing and been able to. Gosh darn it, just think of all the amazing people that have graced me and my audience with their presence. But one of the really cool parts about has been opening and giving those seats to people. You know, actually them giving me the seat next to them, frankly, and by the way, everybody, you want to know some secrets from me. Most of you probably know this, but the president of my company is a woman. The person who's led my social media and has had her hands on everything I've ever done, my podcast and my social media for the last eight years is Trevi, who happens to be an African American woman. And so that seat has opened me up to different viewpoints and different ways of thinking and different strategies. Right over here to my left, who's the producer of my show is a Colombian man who runs my podcast, who's a producer. And so those seats serve everybody, including the person who provides those seats, which is me. And then the benefactor is millions of people, which is you guys. So what a powerful message you just gave. Last thing. Real answer, and answer it in real time and not. Not the social media. And by the way, all your answers have been real, but sometimes you're on a podcast, you're like, yeah, it's great. I know about everybody in what I would call, like, our space, the. I don't want, you call it the personal development, entrepreneur, influencer, celebrity space. Right? I've been blessed that I, you know, I know most everyone in that space, and I also know how many of them are happy and how many of them aren't truly right, like, behind the scenes, because so many of the people in our space are so good at helping other people be happier, more successful in their own lives sometimes, frankly, everyone that at their own expense. I'm wondering, has this been worth it? And I want you to really, you know, as I'm finishing the question, all the hours, some of the criticism, the work, the emotional burden of carrying your family financially like you described earlier, the hours, the grind, all of it that comes with it, which the great part of it is obviously the helping the other people and the financial rewards and all those other things, but is chasing your dream and getting at least a pretty good chunk of it, like, you have what you thought it would be worth it different than you thought. How would you answer that if you're being completely transparent?
- [65:11]
B
It also parlays to the advice when people ask me, like on podcasts, like, if you can go back and tell your former self something, it's the same answer that I would actually give right this very moment when you're saying, can you just be real and talk to me about the cost of pursuing your dream times? And that is, it will take longer than you think and it will look different than you imagine, but it will be better than you can ever dream. And when you ask, has the cost been worth it? I could look at you and say, ed, I would have pinned tenfold for the opportunity for my life to change, because a business became a passport. A business changed my family legacy. A business changed who I am as a first generation Latina. A business changed everything from my zip code down to the core of who I am as a person. So if somebody's asking me, has it been worth it to chase your dream? I would say I'm unworthy of how good it has been, despite how hard it has been. And because I know that I'm looking around and I wonder how I am part of the 0.2% of women who could ever build a business to this capacity. I can't help but think the reason I come on and create and the reason we have these conversations is because more people need to come with us, but we have to tell them, Ed, it will take longer and it will look different, but it would be better. And if you're at the point right now that you ask yourself, is this worth it? It's become too hard. Be the last person standing, win by default. Have people say, you're trying too hard, because you are. And the stamp on that passport to get to new areas in your life are going to be so beautiful if you don't quit. So, yes, it has been so worth it.
- [67:00]
A
Ed. Oh, my gosh. This has been an extraordinary conversation. Stephen over here never gets emotional. I mean, he is a stone face as you get, and he is all choked up and emotional over here. This is one for the ages. My gosh, am I grateful for today. I love you and I just. Man, I just thank you, friend. You did this for me today and for everybody else, not the other way around. I'm here for you anytime you ever, ever, ever need me. And everybody, go follow Jasmine Star on social media, particularly Instagram. She's got an incredible following and her work obviously will help you. And check out her podcast and social curator and everything else. God bless you, everybody.
- [67:40]
B
Love you.
- [67:40]
A
Love, love you. This is the Eddie Milan Show.