THE ED MYLETT SHOW: The Power of Being Vulnerable: The Real Reason Most People Fail at Love

Date: January 3, 2026
Host: Ed Mylett
Featured Guests: Humble the Poet (Kanwar Singh), Matthew Hussey, LeAnn Rimes, Jay Shetty

Episode Overview

This special episode of The Ed Mylett Show dives deep into the theme of love and vulnerability—why so many people struggle to find fulfillment in love, how being vulnerable creates true connection, and the often-overlooked importance of self-love and discipline. Ed is joined by peak performers and thought leaders from diverse backgrounds including Humble the Poet, Matthew Hussey, LeAnn Rimes, and Jay Shetty for candid conversations exploring how loving relationships with others are inextricably tied to self-acceptance, honest self-talk, and the courage to embrace pain, imperfection, and growth.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Love Is a Path, Not a Destination

Guest: Humble the Poet

• Timestamp: [02:16]
• Humble shares that love is not a final achievement but a lifelong journey. “We think there's like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and we don't realize that the pot of gold is the rainbow.”
• The focus should not be on “arriving” at love but on growth and appreciation during the process.

2. Vulnerability as the Gateway to Connection

• Timestamp: [04:02]
• Humble states, “The one that we have with ourselves is the only one. Our relationships with everybody else... are just a mirror of that relationship.”
• We block love, not just from others but from ourselves, by building emotional walls—especially men, socialized to equate vulnerability with weakness.
• Vulnerability doesn’t require oversharing but involves small, meaningful revelations: “Have two vulnerable stories in your pocket that you can share with a complete stranger that would not scare them away.” ([05:20])

Vulnerability Example

• Humble's story about his heartbreak losing his German shepherd, and the journey of opening his heart to a new pet after loss ([05:21–07:11]):
  • “I never want to own a dog again...it broke my heart.”
  • Sharing pain allows others to connect and reciprocate vulnerability, leading to deeper bonds.

3. The Role of Pain & Negative Emotion in Love

• Timestamp: [08:58]

• Avoiding pain leads to greater disappointment; blocking pain doesn’t prevent hurt—it invites it through self-sabotage.

• “Negative emotions like pain aren’t the enemy. These are messages...the challenges we have when we try to suppress the pain... negative emotions...that’s what keeps us alive. You don't learn when you're happy. You don't survive when you're happy.”

• Timestamp: [11:05]

  • Men, commonly “fixers,” often try to problem-solve loved ones' pain to avoid feeling their own.
  • “Empathy is sitting in the pain with that person...not to solve it, but to feel it with them.”

• “If you want to be closer to yourself, you have to be vulnerable with yourself—journal, pray, dance...hug yourself.” ([12:58])

4. Self-Love: Beyond Acceptance—Discipline, Growth, and Action

• Timestamp: [18:10+]

• Ed challenges the common take on self-love as mere acceptance:

  • You can love yourself and expect more from yourself—love includes discipline and striving for growth.
  • “Discipline is one of the purest forms of self-love. When you discipline yourself, you're truly loving yourself.” ([29:40])

• Self-love means:

  • Speaking power and peace into yourself: “We don’t have to believe everything we think...Speak faith to ourselves.” ([21:35])
  • Taking actions in your best interest, not just running on autopilot: “Take actions based on need rather than want.” ([32:49])
  • Not sacrificing your needs to please others: “Don't sacrifice your own needs just to please other people. That is not a form of self-love.” ([34:33])
  • Keeping promises to yourself: “If you don’t keep the promises you make to yourself, you begin not to trust you.”
  • Filling your own cup: “You can’t pour from an empty cup. Fill your own cup with the words you speak and the actions you take.” ([39:44])

5. The Male Experience: Vulnerability & Overwhelm

• Timestamp: [37:00+]

• Ed addresses male listeners about the burden of always being “strong,” the exhaustion and feelings of invisibility, and the absence of space for men to express hurt, sadness, or need for support.

  • “He’s tired of working so hard and having other people let him down...and men think...If I reveal things like this...it’s a sign of weakness.”

• Men (and women) often escape into distractions—sports, substance use—rather than facing vulnerability.

• The importance of belief, not just love:

  • “It's not good enough that you let them know you love them. You have to let them know you believe in them. There's a huge difference.” ([58:15])
  • “Small wins” and personal challenges gradually restore momentum and confidence.

6. Acceptance vs. Expectation—The True Nature of Love

Guest: Ed’s Solo Segment

• Timestamp: [19:36, 31:10+]
• Loving someone (or yourself) does not mean accepting every behavior; expecting growth, holding oneself (and loved ones) to higher standards is also an act of love.
• “I want my friends to love me, but I don't want them to accept me all the time...I want them to expect of me better than I'm doing.”
• Notable Quote:
  • “You can't love yourself if you’re not being yourself...Discipline gives me confidence to forge ahead in life.” ([31:25])

7. Relational Intelligence—Practical Love & Self-Awareness

Guest: Matthew Hussey

• Timestamp: [61:58+]
• We're always in three relationships: with others, with life itself, and with ourselves. How we manage these determines our happiness.
• Matthew admits the difficulty of dating/love advice as an “expert” while struggling with relationships himself—a call for removing pedestals and embracing imperfection:
  • “People think...he must be the perfect person to date because he knows all this stuff...these people don’t know that...I am hurting people, I am hurting myself. I have not figured all of this out.” ([63:00])
• The endless chase—never satisfied, always looking for the next high, next relationship, next thrill—often brings chaos and discontent.

Settling On vs. Settling For

• “Relationships require you to not settle for something, but to settle on something. There's a big difference...When you settle for something, it's like telling yourself you got shortchanged. When you settle on something, it's a resolution.” ([68:42+])
• The power of being “happy enough” and resisting the “never enough” chase.
  • “Happy enough has become my favorite phrase...If nothing changed, I'd still be okay.” ([70:31])

The Victory Lap Mentality

• Reframing success and life as a “victory lap”—appreciating what is here now, not just running for future accolades ([77:18]).

8. Letting Love In – Letting Others Love Us

Guest: LeAnn Rimes

• Timestamp: [81:10+]
• Even those adept at expressing love often struggle to receive it.
  • “I am still not good at getting love from other people...I can appreciate that they love me and not feel it, if that makes any sense.” – Ed ([81:38])
  • LeAnn: “People will give me a compliment and I will sit there and really work to take it in because it’s so challenging. It’s like it doesn’t penetrate.” ([82:12])
• The root often lies in worthiness; self-love precedes allowing in external love:
  • “The more we can actually love from the inside out, the more we'll believe that we're worthy of the outside in.” – LeAnn ([84:24])
• The habit of “stacking mistakes” against oneself and quickly dismissing or minimizing things done well ([85:30+]).
  • “We have to give ourselves credit...I do these things I've described much less than I used to.” – Ed

9. Practical Tools for Self-Love & Joy

• Building gratitude—replacing negative thoughts with loving ones; simple gratitude lists make a big difference ([88:26+]).
• Allowing curiosity, imagination, and new stories—stop reinforcing old emotional patterns by changing your personal narrative ([90:27]).

10. Defining Love – Action, Respect, and Commitment

Guest: Jay Shetty

• Timestamp: [92:18+]
• Avoiding ambiguity: “One of the biggest mistakes in relationships is two people say ‘I love you’ but they mean different things.”
• Jay’s pragmatic definition:
  1. Like their personality: Would you spend 200 hours joyfully with them?
  2. Respect their values: Not everyone will value what you do; respecting differences is crucial.
  3. Commit to helping achieve their goals: Love means actively investing in the other person’s journey.
• “We often extract what attracts us to someone...we want them to give up what they value because we want them to focus on what we value. Should we take [away] the rug from beneath their feet?” ([97:14])
• Long-term, resilient love is built on mutual respect for purpose and support for each other’s individual values, as Ed adds from his own marriage: “When I feel the most unloved or disconnected...are those moments where...my purpose isn't admired or respected or appreciated.” ([97:27])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Vulnerability is the number one thing you need to create a connection.”
  — Humble the Poet ([04:02])

• “Discipline is one of the purest forms of self-love.”
  — Ed Mylett ([29:40])

• “Negative emotions like pain aren't the enemy. These are messages...You do not learn when you’re happy.”
  — Humble the Poet ([10:58])

• “Happy enough is not a bad place to be...if nothing changed, I’d still be okay.”
  — Matthew Hussey ([70:31])

• “You can’t pour from an empty cup. You have to begin to fill your own cup with the words you speak to yourself and the actions you take.”
  — Ed Mylett ([39:44])

• “The more we can love from the inside out, the more we'll believe that we're worthy of the outside in.”
  — LeAnn Rimes ([84:24])

• “You don't have to believe everything you think.”
  — Ed Mylett ([21:35])

• “We often extract what attracts us to someone...Don’t take that away from them.”
  — Jay Shetty ([97:14])

Segment Timestamps

• [02:16] Love as a Journey – Humble the Poet
• [05:20–07:11] Vulnerability Example: Story of Losing and Finding a Dog
• [08:58+] Building & Breaking Emotional Walls
• [11:05+] Pain as a Gift, Not an Enemy
• [18:10+] Self-love and Discipline—Ed’s Solo Perspective
• [37:00+] The Mental and Emotional Exhaustion of Modern Men
• [61:58+] Relationship Wisdom & Growth – Matthew Hussey
• [70:31] The “Happy Enough” Mindset
• [81:10+] Receiving Love – Ed & LeAnn Rimes
• [92:18+] Defining Love in Action – Jay Shetty
• [97:14] Mutual Respect in Relationship Values

Final Takeaways

• Vulnerability is the catalyst for real connection—both with others and with yourself.
  Practiced in small, authentic ways, it invites love and dissolves barriers.

• Pain, discomfort, and negative emotions are not just inevitable, but essential messengers.
  They drive growth, depth, and resilience in love and in life.

• Self-love is a dynamic process—not simply accepting everything as-is, but holding yourself in high regard, expecting growth, and marrying discipline with compassion.

• Belief matters as much as love.
  To truly help others and ourselves rise, it’s not enough to express love—we must express deep belief and challenge one another toward small wins and expansion.

• Shift from the endless pursuit of ‘more’ to appreciating ‘enough’.
  True contentment empowers risk, fuels genuine growth, and brings peace.

• Redefine love as action:

  • Liking who they are
  • Respecting their unique values
  • Committing to help them achieve their dreams

This episode offers a roadmap to experiencing more love in all areas of life—not through perfection or performance, but by embracing vulnerability, honest reflection, courageous commitment to growth, and the radical act of letting love in.

For the full experience and more in-depth wisdom from each guest, listen to the complete episode of THE ED MYLETT SHOW on Apple or Spotify.