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- [00:00]
Ed Mylett
So hey guys, listen. We're all trying to get more productive and the question is, how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth based environment, that you're much more likely to grow and you're going to grow faster. And that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Burchard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down growthday.com forward/ed. So if you want to be more productive, by the way, he's asked me, I post videos in there every single Monday that gets your day off to the right start. He's got about 5,000, $10,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with the app. Also, some of the top influencers in the world are all posting content in there on a regular basis, like having the avengers of personal development and business in one app. And I'm honored that he asked me to be a part of it as well and contribute on a weekly basis. And I do. So go over there and get signed up. You're going to get a free tuition, free voucher to go to an event with Brendan and myself and a bunch of other influencers as well. So you get a free event out of it also. So go to growthday.com forward/ed. That's growthday.com forward slash ed. Advantage Gold is giving away a free copy of Rogoff's book to anyone who schedules a one on one precious metals appointment. You'll discover why gold is becoming the number one hedge against a global currency ship and how to move your IRA or 401k into physical gold. Tax and penalty free. Get your free copy today while supplies last text win to 85545 that's win 85545 or go to advantagegold.com data and message rates.
- [01:27]
Brendan Burchard
App performance may vary. You should always consult your financial and tax professional.
- [01:37]
Ed Mylett
This is the Ed Milet Show. Hey everyone. Welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. I'm honored today as a lifetime Boston sports fan, to have the primary owner of the Boston Celtics on my show is a real treat for me. Wick Grossbeck welcome to the show, Brother Ed.
- [02:02]
Wick Grosbeck
Thanks a lot. It's nice just getting to know you. Just recently in our chat and reading about you, and I'm excited to be on the podcast. Thank you.
- [02:09]
Ed Mylett
So we got to start out with one of the greatest stories I probably ever heard. Let's start with some Celtic stuff we're going to weave in the show. Family. All this stuff today. It's going to be a great ride, everybody. But I was reading about how you ended up buying the team, and it's. It is literally like something out of a movie. I mean, it's incredible. He ends up buying this team for 360 million guys. Just so you know, I don't, you know, round numbers. It's got to be worth between, I don't know, 5 and 7 billion now, probably this. This many years later. At least that's what I'd pay for it if he would let me. But. But tell him the story of how you end up. It's your dream. Let's set the stage with that. As a. As kind of a Boston kid growing up, and then how it ends up happening is just incredible.
- [02:50]
Wick Grosbeck
Well, a lot of people helped. I want to start with that. But it was. I was sitting at my desk doing an investment job at age 41, and not sure that that was the be all and end all for me. And I looked up at the wall, and I saw a picture from 20 years before when I was on a college team that had won a championship, a rower. And I looked at our picture with the oars and the trophy and the shirts over our shoulders. I am literally getting goosebumps right now thinking about it, which, if it says something bad about me, okay, or something good, but it's something true about me that I. That I get goosebumps thinking about competing as part of a team. And. And I was like, I'm 41. I'm past it, but I want to do that again. And so the only way to do that, I realized, was to try to be part of, you know, buying a Boston team and going and winning the championship. So from there, I went that night, or soon, to a Celtics game because I had some season tickets. And I noticed that it was not full, and it just was in a down period. And I wondered if there was a chance to. And it was traded, by the way, on the New York Stock Exchange, So it was a public company, so you could see their numbers. And I just wondered if I could politely ask the person who owned it if he would sell me the team. You know, maybe it was time, and maybe not. You never know. And we. We ended up meeting and having a really nice conversation, and we ended up. I had a deal by the end of the thing to. And I made it clear I didn't have the money, which I didn't, but I was going to go get the money if I possibly could. And we shook hands, and he couldn't have been nicer about it. And so then I'm 41, and I've got this contract, but I don't have the funds. And so I went and met everybody I knew in Boston, and I said, this is going to be the last Boston team that sells in our lifetime. I've got the contract. We're going to buy it December 31st. I'd like you to be part of it, but we're going to do it for love, not money. And this is the whole key to the whole thing. We're not trying to make money here. And I'm just telling you the truth, that we're. We're probably overpaying. It's. It's a record price. It might be too much in the context of the day. It was an overpayment, probably, and. But we're going to do it to be paid in love and enjoyment and passion. There's a whole different way to be paid in life, is to enjoy yourself. You know, you got to pay your bills. Understood. Not diminishing that or minimizing that, but think about being paid in enjoyment and breaking even. That's what we're going to try to do here. And. And that's what happened. So I had 20, 25 people joined in in the first meeting, and others did not join in or brought accountants and tried to negotiate puts and calls and interest rates and guaranteed returns. And, you know, I said, no, we don't have any of that. We're just going to be in it together, side by side, and if it works.
- [05:40]
Ed Mylett
As a guy that grew up, I was born in Weymouth, but I've been a lifetime fan. You know, there's a lot of guys like you and I. I'd love to own the Red Sox, but that's not going to happen ever again. I'd love to own the Celtics. I don't think the crafts are going to let go of the Patriots anytime soon. Bob and I sit on a board together for the College Football hall of Fame. So I'm real sure of that. I've poked around and. But the idea here, there's such a lesson. Everybody, I want you to. I want to unpack a lesson here. The. The key part here is he didn't have the money.
- [06:08]
Unnamed Speaker
No.
- [06:09]
Ed Mylett
And there's A thing I've learned about people that become successful, and that is that they have their preparation freaks. I think you would agree with me. They want to prepare. I'm sure you prepared for that meeting. But their threshold of what they think they have to know before they'll take a step into the room is lower. And people that have a hard time in life succeeding, they're just always getting around to preparing until all the conditions are perfect and you lose the moment. And. And so for me, the big lesson of the takeaway was that like, you got the handshake, you give them a non refundable deposit, as I understand it anyways.
- [06:41]
Wick Grosbeck
Right.
- [06:42]
Ed Mylett
But you had this thing about, you were like, if I can just get in the room, I'll figure it out. I will figure it out. And I think that's a, That's a principle of success. With so many people that I meet, they. They'll put themselves in a position maybe they're not completely prepared for, but they know if they can get in the meeting, they can get in the room, they can get in the door, they can get the job, they can get the speech, that they'll somehow find their way through it. And a lot of other people never pursue one of these opportunities because they're getting around to getting around to getting ready. That had to be part of the reason why you're sitting where you are today, am I right?
- [07:15]
Wick Grosbeck
I think, Ed, I think. Well, I don't want to. I have to agree that your observation is true. I'm not sure how much it applies to me. I just want to be, you know, more humble than my normal attitude. But I. I respect what you say, and I think the way I might say it is that I had the idea. And once I had the idea, I was like, of course, this is the idea of my lifetime, so I have to. And you can't always see that so clearly. But I just, all of a sudden I started imagining myself as the lead owner of the Celtics with partners. And I'm like, nothing was going to stop me from trying. So I think it's the same thing. But in other words, I couldn't have read anything in the preparation that was going to talk me out of it once I saw their, their numbers and they were cash positive. So it would give you room to maybe try to improve the roster, borrow some debt, which we had to borrow 180 million and pay it off. So we needed some cash, but we're going to put the rest into the team. There was a whole virtuous cycle that we generated where there was enough if we didn't all take cash every day, every week, every month, every year, but put it into the team, maybe the team could play a little bit better and then the tickets would sell and, you know, so I'm coming at it from a different direction, but I'm agreeing. If you don't really want to do something, what you're going to do is analyze it until you find a no answer. If you want to do something, you're going to get enough information and then try to go for it. I mean, my wife Emilia right now is at a meeting in an undisclosed west coast location with one of the biggest kind of stars in the world. I mean, one of the top stars. And that person wants to get involved with our Sinkoro Tequila as a co owner alongside Michael Jordan and Jeannie Bus from Wes Edens and us and, and, and Amelia's in that meeting one on one with this person and they're from different backgrounds and, but the connection has been made already and there's going to be more coming out of it. But she's not prepared for the meeting. You can't prepare for this meeting. You just have to have, I mean, she's as prepared as she can be, but you just have to have belief and, and optimism and maybe things will happen.
- [09:13]
Ed Mylett
Wow, that's so good. I actually think if we all step back and look at our lives a little bit different, our lives have been preparing us for whatever moment we're in right now. And if you can have that belief somehow that everything I've been going through in my life, no matter what it is prepar me for this moment. There's another little element. And listen, you are being humble and I love that about you and, and, and, and that keeps you making good decisions. When you lose humility, you can make big mistakes believing your own press clippings. I, I agree with that. I've made those mistakes in my life. But having said that, there's another little element to the story before we move off of it that I want everybody to hear and I like. I'm going to make you aware of it because I just think when you're great at something, sometimes you're just oblivious to it. But the vast majority of people that listen to my show or are watching us right now, they have their own version of buying the Celtics. It's to start their restaurant, it's to write the book. Right. It's to find their dream relationship. It's to lose £50. It's whatever it Might be start their charity. And what happens oftentimes in people's lives is a dream stealer. I call them, comes along and talks them out of it. And oftentimes it can even be somebody whom you admire and respect. I know. Like in my career, remember when I started, my dad, who's my hero, really questioned what I was doing and wanted to talk me out of it. Not because he was a hater, because he loved me and he wanted to protect me, didn't want me to make a mistake. Did you have people that you admired and that you looked up to tell you you were crazy to be doing this and to be careful? You were. Maybe you're paying too much money. Did. Did you have anything like that happen?
- [10:45]
Wick Grosbeck
I did. I also want to come back to what you just said about people's goals. So I'm going to try to remember to do that after I answer your question. My.
- [10:52]
Ed Mylett
I.
- [10:52]
Wick Grosbeck
It wasn't that they were haters for sure, but I had people I respected. I went to talked about. I think the first four people I met after shaking hands on the Celtics. The first four people I met, hoping they would come in, said no. And for perfectly good reasons, you know, overpayment. I had never had an employee before. I had.
- [11:12]
Ed Mylett
Wait, say that again. You had never had an employee before.
- [11:15]
Wick Grosbeck
If you can call my assistant an employee. I did have one employee. She's. We're still working together today, 21 years later. Wendy Cooper, she's fantastic, but she doesn't really report to me, if you know what I mean. But other than that. But I guess I just. I got some very qualified nos, thoughtful no's from people that I really respected. But then I went ahead and signed the contract and wired the money. Then when I had the signed contract, everything actually got easier. If I can just talk for a minute about your observation that everybody has a dream, or hopefully everybody has a dream. The way I say it or I've said it to people in the past, like a. A class, a college class or something would be. I got to win a banner with the team in 2008. You know, got the ring, we got the banner up in the rafters, had the parade. And I want to win two more banners before I die. And everybody will normally. Joe. Yeah, of course. And why doesn't he want to wear RIN 5 more or something? I said, no, no, no, you don't understand. My son is born blind Campbell, and doesn't see. Has many amazing qualities. He's everybody's favorite person who meets somebody Struggled with or had to cope with not being able to see his whole life. I became the chairman of Mass Eye and Ear, which is the world's largest and among the leading, you know, blindness and deafness research institutions affiliated with Harvard, but really stands on its own since the 1820s. And the motto is so that the deaf may hear and the blind may see. And so one banner I want to raise is we beat blindness. And one banner I want to raise is we beat deafness. You know, we're done with it. And. And my point being that everybody in the room that I'd be talking to, and I think probably every listener here could raise a banner. They have those talents. But what do you want your banner to say? Do you want to say, I did something about hunger or home or homelessness or poverty in my community or in the broader world? I did something about. I did something for someone who was lonely. I helped somebody fight cancer. I was a great parent or a great partner. I mean, it doesn't have to be the biggest banner in history, but when you're 80 years old, 90 years old, what banner do you want to have in your rafters? And then let me know when you do it, and I'll come to the celebration. So that's kind of what I think about it.
- [13:45]
Ed Mylett
That's so good. And you know it. I'm stealing that.
- [13:49]
Wick Grosbeck
Yeah, well, I kind of polished it. I've polished that a little bit, but. But I. I think it kind of works because people think, oh, yeah, this guy wants to win more banners. Big deal. But no, they're different banners, brother.
- [13:59]
Ed Mylett
That's remarkable. I was going to ask you about Campbell later, but I want. I'll ask you now since you brought him up. How is having Campbell in your life? Makes me emotional, and he's not my son. I don. The heck I'm doing right now, right? I have a sister, Wick, who went blind with diabetic retinopathy. So this is a subject that's close to my heart as well. Now, fortunately, we've got some of her vision back, but how did having a child who. I'm sure when that happens, I really have this. This theory that when God, you know, maybe takes a gift from somebody, he doses them with incredible other gifts that make them superhuman in certain ways. But I'm curious as to having a child like Campbell, how it changed you. It had to some extent change you or affect you, give you a perspective or something that was different before God blessed him in your life. How did it affect you?
- [14:51]
Wick Grosbeck
Well, I. I Guess I would just say Campbell is. And his sister are both spectacular, thoughtful people who are generous and giving and do everything they can for other people. And so that's one of his gifts. He's. He's beloved by everybody who meets him, really. That's true. Not an overstatement. He probably taught me and others to, you know, I don't want any more pain in the world. I don't want people to feel overlooked or left behind in any way or, you know, I, I. Everybody feels this way. I'm not saying I'm special in that way, but it just made me realize that, you know, we have to go fight blindness. We have to go find fight depth, as he gave me probably a little bit more of a purpose. But anyway, Campbell doesn't owe me anything. But he's the most wonderful sister, are spectacular, and his mom and I worked hard raising them, but they. They started off spectacular.
- [15:49]
Ed Mylett
Anyway, you know what does make you different? I'll just brag on you. Since you. It's pretty clear to me early in the interview you're going to refuse to do it, so I'll do it for you. And this isn't just you. A lot of people have feelings about things in life, Wick. This is why I do my show. They feel like they want to change their emotions. They feel like they want to change their family station in life. They feel like they want to make a difference. But what separates people isn't that you have that feeling. It's that you use the word that you just use. They fight for it. And, you know, life's not going to give you what you'd like to have or you want to have or you feel like having it gives you what you're willing to fight for. And what separates people in life is their willingness to fight for something that's bigger than them. And to your point, this banner is one of those things, but that is what separates you. A lot of people have liked to own the Celtics. You fought for it. That's why you have it. And I think there's a lesson there. You're not going to say it about yourself, but it's. It's a fact. I think when you're in the midst of doing something great in your life, you really don't even realize it because you got the meetings every day and the pressure, and we lost in the finals last year, so it doesn't really dawn on you probably till it's long done. And you are 80 years old, Wick. You're like, I owned the Flipping Boston Celtics. And I even have the money to buy the team. The other thing that dawned on me about you is the sitcom. So it's called Extended Family Guys, and it's sort of loosely based on Wick and his family. Tell me this isn't really how this happened, because it's like, if I understand the premise, I understand the premise. And by the way, I've heard unbelievable things about Amelia, just so you know, from mutual friends of ours. They're like, wick's pretty good, but Amelia's remarkable. And I'm serious.
- [17:21]
Wick Grosbeck
Whenever I go to a Celtics game up in Boston, Amelia lives primarily down in New York. And so whenever I'm at a game in Boston, everybody's like, hi, Wick. Where's Amelia? Where's Amelia? Where's. I mean, I will hear it 12 to 15 times a night, including two.
- [17:34]
Ed Mylett
I hear this, too.
- [17:35]
Wick Grosbeck
And where's Amelia? And so I asked her the other day, I said, amelia, has anybody ever once asked you, where's wic? And she's like, oh, honey. And she, like the big smile. She's like. She's scrunching up her face, thinking of a time someone might have asked, where's Wicked? Like, yeah, that's.
- [17:53]
Ed Mylett
Yes. She has to reflect. I'm sorry, man. Well, I'll ask where you are next time I'm there. I'll ask around. But I gotta tell you, I think people look at someone like you or, you know, anybody who they see on TV or. So, like, their family dynamic must be perfect as well, right? And so then I'm reading into your background, like, well, he's got a beautiful, incredible family. But there was. I'm sure, the. The day you found out that. That Campbell had an issue with his vision, that's. That's a. That's something to process, right? That's not. That's a curveball. We'll call it a curveball. And then. I don't know that this is accurate, but I know the premise of the show. The premise of the show is that you.
- [18:30]
Brendan Burchard
You.
- [18:30]
Ed Mylett
And there's. There's a woman who ends up getting divorced, and she ends up living under the same roof with her ex as they decide to raise the children, and this really successful guy, owns a sports team, ends up dating her, and then there's this crazy dynamic that takes place. Tell me that that's actually accurate. Did that actually happen?
- [18:50]
Wick Grosbeck
I'm sitting in the communal apartment right now in Manhattan. George. Emilia's X was born and raised in Boston, went to bc, Born in Needham. Huge Boston sports fan. There's more. Back to that later. But hilarious guy, brilliant guy, worked on Wall street for many, many years. And really, really funny and really nice guy and a great dad. But eventually, apparently, the marriage ran its course and. But they were both. They said, look, we're going to be better friends. So what if we stopped being married, but we kept the kids intact, you know, as best we could. This is the story of the show. So speaking for George and Amelia here, who are co creators and co executive producers, the. The idea was that they had, which I think is brilliant, was to. Basically, it's called nesting. And it happens every now and then. If you can get along with your ex, the ex switches in for a week, and then you switch in for a week, and the kids stay put in their bedrooms. And the kids, I think, were young. I think there were 8 and 11 at the time or something, or 9 and 12. And it just probably provided more stability and calm that Mom's here or dad's here. Maybe there were Sunday dinners, but everybody got along and they went. I mean, they may have still gone on family vacations. To this day. We all have Thanksgiving and Christmas together and so on. So George is part of the family. He. He has welcomed me to the family. There was a family event, There was a family funeral, and. And I just met George that evening. Amelia and I had been dating a little bit, and in front of the whole family, George stood up in this emotional time, said, I just want to welcome Wick to the family. Like, he knew it was serious. George is a fantastic guy. And so when George is willing to go that far for his kids and the happiness of not only his ex Amelia, but. But his two kids. And Amelia was willing to go that far. And of course, I'm, you know, I'm happy to share everybody's life together. I mean, it's an amazing thing when it can happen. We didn't start the show to give people a lecture. It's just kind of funny because a Boston sports fan's head explodes when his dynamic, beautiful wife. Ex wife. Brings home the owner of his favorite sports team. It's a little bit much. Okay, that's crazy. He literally said. And he named a couple NBA owners. What about this guy or that guy, you know, Mark Cuban? Can't you date Mark Cuban? You just can't. Boston sports is all I have. Okay? So he's so funny. He's now a writer on the show, by the way. So he's in the writers room out there in. In la, half the time.
- [21:17]
Ed Mylett
That's awesome. You guys just picture this. You're living with. First off, it is unique that you're living essentially in the same house with your ex wife and then you're huge fan of the Celtics and she dates the guy that owns.
- [21:29]
Wick Grosbeck
So we've got Donald Faison playing the Celtics owner and he's thrilled. He actually won the celebrity basketball league in la. He was like on the winning team. He's a real basketball player. He's a hilarious guy. And I personally wanted him for my role because I wanted to have. I just imagine Donald Faison owning the Celtics. It seemed to work for me. And then Abigail Spencer, very talented, who was Scotty on Suits and then in Grey's Anatomy and Mad Men, she looks a lot like Amelia and. But she's just very talented in her own right and she's playing Amelia's role. And then John, the very super talented John Cryer is playing George. And so that's why we were actually last week the number two show on all of Tuesday night.
- [22:09]
Ed Mylett
Congratulations, by the way. The reason I know about the show is Jon Cryer. I'm a huge Two and a Half Men fan and I think he's just, he's awesome. So you guys go check out the show and just this man's life is so interesting. Like everyone's just told to me, hey, if you get the owner of the Celtics on the show, do it. And then I start to research because I don't just have any owner on the show. I only do 52 interviews a year. And I'm like, my gosh, this man is so compelling. It's so interesting. What's it like? What's it like when the dream comes true? Take us through this 2008, it finally happens. You've owned, I guess you probably own the team about six, seven years by that time, right? And you get to actual raise the actual Celtics banner with the parade. I read some stuff like when you were selling people on investing in the team, it was not just the fun of it, but it was also like, imagine the parade day. You know, imagine this raising the banner. You actually sold the dream to investors, which is what I think all great leaders do. They've got a vision. They've got an ability to sell a vision and a dream and repeat it and get buy in from people. That's one element of the things that you're great at that you discount about yourself. But what is it like when you actually step into a dream? Because most of us, most people listening to this pray for that day where they actually meet their dream. They're stepping into it. What's it feel like?
- [23:26]
Wick Grosbeck
I was almost like bewildered. It was so. I didn't let myself believe it almost because it just seemed too implausible. I know. It was halftime of game six and we were up by 28 points at halftime. We went on a run right for halftime. We're up like 26, 28 points at halftime. I went into our courtside club and I've got Steven Tyler in there from Aerosmith and Bill Belichick from the Patriots, who was a terrific guy off the field. On the field, you know, he's non communicative or whatever he is. Off the field. He's hilarious.
- [23:58]
Brendan Burchard
Yeah.
- [23:58]
Wick Grosbeck
And I'm sitting next to, standing next to Belichick, and I said, bill, what do you think? Like, what do you think? I figured if anyone's going to take me down a notch, it's Bill Belichick, right? Like, take a one play at a time. Like the most dour.
- [24:10]
Brendan Burchard
Right?
- [24:11]
Wick Grosbeck
Right. By the book. And he goes, are you kidding me? You're the bleeping world champions. We can celebrate now. He goes, tequila for everybody in the bar. Like, he what? Called it at halftime. I'm like, we just got jinxed by Bill Belichick. But we, but we won by 39, you know, but, But I still didn't believe it. I'm like, well, they could come back. We're up 30, you know, and then they put these velvet ropes at our feet that they were preparing to raise. And then like all of a sudden I remembered, oh, my God, the trophies in the building. Like, I hadn't even allowed myself to think about the trophy. And I'm like, I'm about to be handed this trophy and I had no remarks prepared. You know, I just didn't let myself prepare because I didn't want to jinx it. I was superstitious, I guess, and I, or I just didn't believe it was true. But, you know, to this day, every day I walk out onto the court, I'm like, I'm sit these great seats. I'm like, I guess it must be me and my partners who are sitting with me because, like, who else would be sitting in these seats? Like, I, I. It's kind of a pleasant surprise every day. I swear to God. It's that good.
- [25:09]
Ed Mylett
Yeah. Are you telling me Bill Belichick bought a round for the bar, or am I exaggerating that story?
- [25:13]
Wick Grosbeck
Yeah, he did. That's the way I remember it. We're going to go with that.
- [25:17]
Ed Mylett
We're going with that. You. You win. I don't know. For me, people have asked me, like, different dreams of mine that have happened. If I'm being honest, when they happened, they were incredible. But it didn't last as long as I thought it would, if I'm being candid. Meaning the joy of it in the EU4. This is just me. I'm just sharing from my perspective. I'm curious for you because of the pressure of now doing it again or doing something bigger. And so it was almost like, for me, I got as much joy in almost pursuing the dream as I did in actually the achievement of it. And there's actually some studies that say you get more dopamine in the pursuit of a goal than you do actually when you hit it in your brain.
- [25:56]
Wick Grosbeck
I can refute that.
- [25:58]
Ed Mylett
Okay, give it to me. I want to. I want to hear your perspective.
- [26:01]
Wick Grosbeck
Sixteen long years, but every day I'm happy about it. And you are? Yeah. I mean, because it wasn't just me. I didn't make any of the baskets, you know, it was us as a group, and we got there. And I don't know, I'm just. Maybe it's just. It's my character or lack thereof or whatever, but I'm happy. I'm thrilled about that.
- [26:21]
Ed Mylett
Explain. Could that explain why you haven't won another one in 16 years? I'm just kidding. I mean, let's give you a crap.
- [26:25]
Wick Grosbeck
Top of the league right now, my friend. We are five or six games ahead of, like, everybody else, but we don't want to jinx it because it's only 2/3 of the way through the season.
- [26:34]
Ed Mylett
What about that, though? So the team itself, right now, I'm a huge fan. And so we've been knocking on the door. I say we. And I don't have an ownership piece until this interview is over today. But. But the. We've been knocking on the door, I don't know, five Eastern Conference finals, couple finals.
- [26:50]
Wick Grosbeck
And that's frustrating?
- [26:51]
Ed Mylett
Is the joy of winning for you greater than the pain of defeat, at least as the owner? Meaning you said it's frustrating, but it looks to me like it's frustrating. Frustrating. But that. That championship meant so much to you that, you know, you can grind through the man. We were so close. We were so close.
- [27:08]
Wick Grosbeck
What do you feel like if we can get back there, it'll be super sweet. You know, John Henry once told me his second one was his favorite because you could, you know, the first prove the first wasn't a fluke, but Red Auerbach of the Celtics always said the first one was always the best, you know, so I'd love to have the debate. I'd love to have the chance to have the debate. I'm glad I got one. Is better than none. But you know, there will never be a loss that's bad enough to make me want to leave. I actually think the losses put the wins in perspective. In a way they make them sweeter. If, if you're just undefeated every year, what's the fun of it? You know, I mean, I'd love to try it, but it doesn't happen. Life isn't that way.
- [27:44]
Ed Mylett
So. Hey guys, you may notice I've been standing a lot more during the podcast and one of the reasons that I'm doing that, thank God, is uplift desks. I've got one right here with me right now. You know, your daily work routine can really make you fatigued, and that's because you're sitting the whole time. With an uplift desk, you can stand more often. Also, you're going to bring better energy to the work you have when you're standing rather than sitting all the time. And I didn't realize how much sitting all day was hurting my back and just dragging my energy down, dragging me down physically and mentally. So great work starts with a great workplace. Your workday does not have to make you feel all worn out. Just go to upliftdesk.com ed and use our code ED to get your free accessories, free same day shipping, free returns and an industry leading 15 year warranty that covers your entire desk plus an extra discount off your entire order. That's upliftdesk.com that's U-P-L-I-F-T-E-S-K.com ed for this exclusive offer. It's only available through our link. Today's show is sponsored by Strawberry Me. So you know this. I'm a big believer in coaching, especially when it's from a reliable source. And I think most people should have some interaction with somebody who's helping them get better in their life. So if you're waking up every day and you know you're capable of a little bit more, but you're not really sure how to get there. Listen, success doesn't just happen. Most successful people in the world don't figure it out on their own. They have a coach, they have mentors, they got coaches, they have people guiding them every step of the way. That's where Strawberry me personal Coaching comes in. You'll identify your obstacles that are holding you back. You'll develop a step by step plan.
- [29:15]
Brendan Burchard
Take action and confidence.
- [29:17]
Ed Mylett
You can be held accountable if you want to, knowing you have a dedicated support staff, a coach behind you every step of the way instead of relying on guesswork or rating for the right time. I've had a personal coach for a long time and it's helped me tremendously.
- [29:29]
Brendan Burchard
This to me in my life.
- [29:30]
Ed Mylett
You know, I love that Chinese proverb. If you want to know the road ahead, ask those coming back. That's what a coach can do for you. They've got the directions. Many times in your life, go to Strawberry Me Ed and claim your 50 credit. That's strawberry me Ed. Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Here's an excerpt I did with our next guest. The man that we're going to talk with today is a very important man to me. There are not five people on planet Earth that I would rather speak to today than this young man. And my dream list for people that would be on this podcast. He is at the very, very top of the list because he's a story of resiliency, faith, strength, comeback. I don't know that I've ever said this and meant it more. I am so grateful that you are here today and welcome to the show. Damar Hamlin, Good to have you here, brother man.
- [30:31]
Damar Hamlin
Thanks for having me. I appreciate, you know, the intro, somebody.
- [30:35]
Ed Mylett
Who'S going through, they're on the bottom right now, right now in their life. They're like, man, I'm, I'm, I'm down right now. You know, I just, nothing's working out. You know, I, my business just failed or I just broke up with my relationship, or, man, just nothing I've done has been clicking for years. I don't feel good about myself. I'm down. And this may sound like an interesting metaphor, but they need sort of a life version of CPR to get back up again. They need some life breathed back into them, literally. What would you say to somebody who's just down right now and wants to make a comeback? What would you say to that person who's struggling with that right now?
- [31:17]
Damar Hamlin
First thing I would say is, man, you can't, you can't conquer the world in one day. So, you know, just take yourself out of that big perspective and see how you can take one step and put the right foot in front of the left foot. You know, something I've heard a while is you can't sit in the pool of pity, you know, so even when you feel that feeling of, you know, you want to harp on your. Your situation or your circumstances too much, get up and move. Like literally, I mean, get up and move, you know, so you can get yourself out of the feeling before you get sunk too deep into it. That's the first way, I would say, just, you know, to deal with the emotions that come off of your situation. Don't allow yourself to sit in it. Get up and move. And don't think you can. Just know that you can't conquer the world in one day. So wherever it is you want to be, you know, you got to take it step by step, one day at a time, you know, I knew that I had to take it step by step, one day at a time. I couldn't worry about, you know, trying to suit up and play in the playoffs again, or I would have drove myself crazy. Literally, I would have drove myself insane. I had to know that it's going to be a journey. And even through this season that I just went through, I, you know, people deal with ACLs and don't come back in the time period that I did or any other injuries that don't come back in the time period that I did. So I know it's going to be a journey. Even when some people return off the ACLs, they're not. They're not their same selves that first season out their back. They need time, they need steps. They got to put the right foot in front of the left and they got to walk the journey. They got to go through the ugly phases. You know, I feel like I just went through an ugly phase this whole season, you know what I mean? But I'm super proud of myself, you know, so go through the ugly phases. Don't be afraid of it. Embrace it. That's the big. That's the biggest part of it all. Focus on taking one foot in front of the right. Go through the ugly phases and just continue to try to get better. One day at a time, one step at a time. And write down what you feel is necessary to accomplish what you want to get done and then follow it. Make no negotiations with yourself whenever you set the plan out. Like, if you say you're going to do certain things at certain times or with certain people, make sure you do. You know what I mean? Hold yourself to a different standard and accountability so that you can get out of your situation. You know, you can't get out of a situation doing the same things that put you into the situation. So, you know, that's. That's like insanity. Doing the same things and expecting different results, you know, And I'm kind of. I'm kind of, you know, preaching that message to. To, you know, a lot of my personal friends in my life, you know, who are. No, they complain about certain things or they bring certain things to my attention, and then, you know, they keep doing the same things. You know, I'm at the point where it's like, you know, if you're gonna keep dealing with the same, certain type of things, don't even tell me because, like, don't. Don't sit up here and just waste all my time when you okay with accepting the same things. I got you where you are. If you want to get yourself to a different situation, you got to do different things to get different results. Yeah, that's my. I gotta tell you, my perspective on it.
- [34:14]
Ed Mylett
That's so good. I'd rather. I'm just sitting here going, you got to be kidding me. It's so good. You know what you are? You're a great perspective giver. Just, you know who you are. I got to tell you, today was a particularly not great morning for me. And I was talking to my daughter, and I said, she goes, how you doing today, Daddy? I said, I'm. I'm not having a great morning, Bella. I'm not having a good day. And then we hung up, and I was kind of just re. I've been so excited about this interview for so long. It's kind of like, re. Preparing a little bit. And then I literally said to myself, I just. Everybody hear this for whatever you're going through. I said, really? You're not having a great day compared to what the day Demar had on January 2, 2023, in that moment, that's a bad day compared to me. I'm at a couple meetings. Not go the right way, right? And this man was in front of millions of people, literally fighting for his life. Does. Does it give you a perspective, brother? Like, when you're having what was. Used to be a bad day, you're like, well, not compared to, like. Compared to what? Right? Do you ever have that thought? Does it give you perspective on that, man?
- [35:19]
Damar Hamlin
Every day. Every day. To be honest, you know, there's no day where I can, you know, allow myself to get too low anymore because, you know, I have the appreciation of life, you know, so, no Matter what's going on in life, just to still be here is a blessing because we all know some people who are not. And we all wish that we could have some people still with us. So no matter my situation, I'm able to allow myself to appreciate something. You know, it's hard to appreciate everything, you know, especially when, you know, for the people that are listening, especially when, you know, you're going through situations where your emotions are rising and, you know, you. You're feeling whatever you're feeling the most. But I'm always able to. To bring myself to appreciate at least one thing, no matter what it is. No matter if it's the ability to still play football because I could have been taken away from me, no matter if it's, you know, just appreciating family, my little brother, my mom, my dad, you know, no matter if it's just, you know, appreciating a deep breath, man, or appreciate wherever I am in the world, you know, if I'm in California, if I'm in at home, if I'm anywhere in the world, you know, I always bring myself to find at least one thing that I can appreciate. And it shapes your perspective differently. It really does.
- [36:38]
Andre Ward
Wow.
- [36:39]
Ed Mylett
Brother, I love you. I'm. Two things. I got one last question. One, I'm grateful for you.
- [36:46]
Damar Hamlin
I thank you for this. This was therapy.
- [36:49]
Ed Mylett
Good. Well, me too, and millions of people. The second thing is I just. As a brother, I'm proud.
- [36:54]
Brendan Burchard
I'm.
- [36:54]
Ed Mylett
Shoot, I'm getting. I'm just very proud of you.
- [36:57]
Brendan Burchard
Very proud of you. You're.
- [36:59]
Ed Mylett
You're remarkable. All right, a football question. Because they'll be pissed if I don't ask. So are you free agent?
- [37:06]
Damar Hamlin
No.
- [37:07]
Ed Mylett
Okay, so you're under contract?
- [37:08]
Damar Hamlin
Buffalo Bills. I'm a Buffalo Bill.
- [37:11]
Ed Mylett
Okay, because. Because I read something today. Bill's Mafia. I read something today. You know, I'm gonna ask you about. They were like, hey, I wouldn't mind ending my career playing for the Steelers, right? Is that an accurate quote? Like, I just make you awkward. I asked you, I didn't push you too hard on what happened on the field. So I gotta, like, is like, people want to know what's gonna happen with this young man. So we know you're. You're a Bill, but is there a little party that eventually would love to finish up with the Steelers, or you want to be a Bill for Life?
- [37:39]
Damar Hamlin
I want to be a Bill for Life. You know, that's the team that truly took a chance on me and gave me opportunity, you know, to show what I can do. I'm a late round draft pick. Throughout the whole entire draft, you know, I watched my name sit as the first name to best taken, you know, for like two, three rounds, you know, and I'm just like, will I ever get my opportunity? You know, I knew I had what it takes, you know, but you know, opportunity, like preparation doesn't always meet opportunity. I was prepared, but I didn't know if the opportunity was going to come. So, you know, the Bills, when they selected me, you know, I was, I was, I felt so blessed, you know, and I didn't know anything about Buffalo, I didn't know anything about Bill's mafia at the time. But, you know, it didn't take long for me to, for them to show me who exactly who they were. And you know, for me personally, and then doing my research as well, just seeing how they treated their players, how they treat other players on other teams, you know, like donated $80,000 to other people's team, like to other teams, foundations, like it was, it was just unbelievable of like the support that Bill's mafia has for the players of the Buffalo Bills. So first and foremost, I want to clear all ear. I want to be a Buffalo Bill for life. Because that's the team that took a chance on me when I answered that question. You know, I answered it from the perspective of, you know, a childhood perspective, you know, a kid that, you know, grew up his entire life. Like I told you, man, I had the dream for a long time. I had the dream for a long time, you know, just making it to the NFL and just being able to have an opportunity to, you know, take care of my family and give back to my community something that I didn't have as a kid growing up, you know, so that was always my driving force. But you know, as a kid, you know, like playing the game, I always created myself as a Steeler and I always, you know, played the game like that just as a kid. So the question they asked me, I answered it from a childhood perspective. And then I also answered it from the perspective of, no, I don't want to play for the Steelers right now because I'm a Buffalo Bill. You know what I mean? Like, I'm still under contract with the Buffalo Bills. And then on top of that, and then on top of that, you know, I spent five years at the University of Pittsburgh and I shared the facility with the Steelers. That's how I built a close relationship, you know, with them. And then. So that's college. Five years and Then four years of high school where we had championship games at, you know, the stadium. So, you know, I've had my fair share of time there. How I answered the question was.
- [40:20]
Wick Grosbeck
It.
- [40:20]
Damar Hamlin
Would more so be a dream to finish career than to be playing now. You know, and I'm. And I say that, I said that lightly because, you know, you see players all the time who have career. They'll have like a 8, 10 year career with this team, and then they'll go play for this team for X amount of time, and then when they finally retire, they'll go sign that $1 contract with the team that they felt most connected to and then retire with that team. So, you know, it was. It was a lightly answered question that kind of like super stirred up social media. But to be honest, you know, even through all the chaos of it that it caused, I'm just super excited to finally see people excited to see me play football again.
- [41:08]
Ed Mylett
Yeah.
- [41:09]
Damar Hamlin
You know what I mean? That was a great feeling that above all else, you know, above all the chaos it might have caused, that was just a great feeling. You know what I mean? I dealt with so much, you know, controversy and, you know, like just craziness all year long. Just. It just if, if I needed to, if I needed to be playing, if I was just all of a sudden just this trash player, if I just was never good at football. And I'm only famous for one thing and this and that, you know, So I went through a whole year of that, you know, and, you know, just chirping, you know, I don't allow none of that to enter my inner matrix. But, you know, it was super exciting to see people, you know, excited to see me play football again. So, like, you know, it turned me up a little bit, man. It made me go harder in the gym. It made me go harder in the gym those days because, you know, I'm excited for them to see what I got in the tank, too.
- [42:03]
Ed Mylett
I am as well. Take it easy on the Patriots. I'm a Patriots fan.
- [42:06]
Andre Ward
This is one of the greatest boxers of the last two decades, and you might even argue in the history of the sport.
- [42:11]
Ed Mylett
And so, Andre Ward, thank you for being here today.
- [42:13]
Tom Patterson
Thanks for having me.
- [42:14]
Ed Mylett
Like, I could go three hours of this, but you said that one punch. Who's hard? Has he ever been hit? By who? Hey.
- [42:20]
Tom Patterson
Hey. I would say it's tough to say one guy, but I would probably say the guy with the. The strongest power. The two guys with the strongest power are Arthur Abraham, and I heard rumors about him the analogy people always gave was, he feels like he's got bricks in his gloves. And if you watch my first fight with him, the only fight that we had, in the first round, he hit me with a jab.
- [42:52]
Brendan Burchard
A jab.
- [42:53]
Tom Patterson
And for those that don't know, that's a basic punch in boxing, just a straight, straight punch.
- [42:57]
Wick Grosbeck
Bow.
- [42:57]
Tom Patterson
He hit me, and I kind of buckled a little bit. I said, oh, boy, it's real. Everything they said was real. And that kept me on my toes and kept me on my game the whole night. And then Edison Miranda, he hit like a mule. His money punch was the right hand. That's pretty much all he had.
- [43:13]
Brendan Burchard
He.
- [43:13]
Tom Patterson
Paul with the jab, he had these long arms, and if he got. If he landed that right hand flush, a lot of guys went to sleep. And that was my first time facing a big puncher like that. That's probably the worst I've ever felt after a fight was fighting Edison Miranda. Those two guys probably had the most devastating power.
- [43:32]
Ed Mylett
So I thought you were gonna say. And we'll wrap up the boxing piece here. I thought you were gonna tell me, Koba love. So I love your face when I said that. So for those of you don't know. So I'm a huge fan of yours. You know this. But now that we're friends, I need to tell you that before you fought.
- [43:48]
Tom Patterson
Him, you little worried.
- [43:49]
Ed Mylett
I was worried for you. So I thought, this is the Crusher. This dude supposedly can really hit. Right? And so y' all don't know this. He beat him twice. And. But so just because those little. The last couple fights, Right. So just. What would you just tell me about fighting him, prepping for him, getting hit by him, those fights? Anything you would tell me about those experiences. I mean, the first fight was like, hey, people thought it could have gone either way. The second fight, there was obviously no question.
- [44:16]
Tom Patterson
Yeah, no. I mean, Kovalev was like, he's a real deal. He's a real deal. Anytime you got a nickname like the Crusher, yeah, you better be able to hit hard. And he has good power. He has good power. It's not what I thought it was, but he hits hard. And I think one thing that's always been overlooked in my career, you hear about, you know, people saying, oh, he's a good boxer. You know, Dre, you know, he can. He can do this, he can do that. But they never talk about my chin. And that's not really something I want to be known for, because you don't.
- [44:42]
Ed Mylett
Get hit all the Time.
- [44:43]
Tom Patterson
Yeah, I'm not. That's not really my thing. But, like, I fought the best punchers in the game, and I've been down twice in a 32 fight career, and I fought the best. And one of those times was against Sergey Kovalev. I can't get into too much because we're, you know, we're gonna be putting out the documentary soon, and we're gonna detail a lot of what happened in. In the Pre fight for Kovalev1, but just went through a lot of different things physically for that fight. I was moving up in weight from 168 pounds to 175 pounds. But again, like you just mentioned, I'm not going up there just to fight some Rudy poo. I'm fighting the best guy. This guy was the real deal Russian fighter. He was known for going into other people's hometowns and home countries and, like, taking their belts, and nobody really wanted to fight him. And here I am, a guy that's in a lower weight class who's not really considered a big puncher, but has a lot of skill. And I've pretty much won everything at the lower weight class. And people are saying, man, he's going up in weight. Like, the overall consensus was the critics were saying he bit off too much. This is the guy that's finally gonna get him. And my supporters were saying, dre's gonna out box him. We get into the fight, and the first thing I noticed about him was just how accurate he was. Like, it wasn't necessarily that he hit hard. It was just. He was just very accurate, like I was thinking. And he was punching. And the first round was just like, man, it was just like a blur. And I remember sitting down and Verge getting on me right away saying, man, stop posing, meaning, stop standing still. Like, move your legs. Like, warm up.
- [46:15]
Andre Ward
Get moving.
- [46:17]
Tom Patterson
And I was just kind of like, man, I just. I don't know, I just kind of felt like I was in quicksand. Second round, he and I exchange, and I'm getting ready to throw a right hand. He's getting ready to throw a right hand. His right hand gets there first, and I just see a flash. Bam. I look up, man, I'm on the canvas and I hear the cross crowd going crazy. I look up, the referee's in my face. Six, seven, eight. And I stand up in those moments we talked about pre fight, but in that moment, that's for sure, a fight or flight type moment. Yeah, like, whatever you got on the inside, it's gonna come out. If you got turn in you, it's gonna come out. If you got any kind of coward in you, it's gonna come out. If you got the dog in you, that's gonna come out, too. And I thank my dad for these types of moments because my dad had that dog in him. And he's the type of guy that would never start anything, but if you hit him, he's gonna hit you back. And that was probably the best thing that could have happened to me in that first fight with Kovalev was for me to get knocked down. Because now I'm mad. Now I want to get that back. And I'm no longer overthinking, trying to be perfect. Like, I was too busy. I was incensed with trying to get that moment. And I found somehow, some way, man, by the grace of God, I clawed my way back into that fight. And I really felt like from the seventh round on, I broke him. And when I say broke him, it doesn't mean that he quit. It doesn't mean that he threw in the towel. It means that he wasn't himself. I stopped him from being who he wanted to be that night. And I eked out a win.
- [47:53]
Brendan Burchard
Yeah.
- [47:53]
Tom Patterson
And I won the fight by the 12th round, if I'm not mistaken. Two judges gave it to me, One judges gave it to him. One judge gave it to him. And some people were not happy about it. And some people were happy about it. And after the fight, I thought I was done. I thought I was done. I think it was a combination of just my career, like the physical toil, the. That it took to get ready for fights, and then the actual fights. And then you see the reaction from the people, and it's like, man, I just gave my all. I just beat the boogeyman. I beat the monster, and it's still not enough. And I didn't do anything for three months after that fight. And that's a no, no for me. Like, I always do something. I'll take, you know, maybe three, four weeks off, let my body heal, and then I'll start to do some run ins, light shadow box, and I'll get back in the gym little by little. I, like, had no desire, like, literally for three months straight. And I remember going to see my pastor, Napoleon Kaufman, former Raider running back. Really?
- [48:55]
Ed Mylett
He's your pastor?
- [48:56]
Tom Patterson
Yes, my pastor.
- [48:57]
Ed Mylett
Did he go to Notre Dame or Navy?
- [48:58]
Tom Patterson
No, he went to uw, University of Washington.
- [49:00]
Ed Mylett
That's right.
- [49:01]
Andre Ward
Okay.
- [49:01]
Ed Mylett
That's right. Yeah, that's right.
- [49:02]
Tom Patterson
From Lompoc.
- [49:03]
Brendan Burchard
I remember him Yeah.
- [49:05]
Tom Patterson
I remember going to him, and, you know, he abruptly retired after six years in the league and started a church, and he's been doing great. I said, man, Pastor, I don't know, man. I said, I think I'm done, man. He said, man, why do you say that? I said, I haven't done anything in three months. I said, that's not like me. I have no desire to do this. And I thought he was going to co Sign with me.
- [49:22]
Ed Mylett
Yeah.
- [49:23]
Tom Patterson
And he kind of sat there, like he did. He said, you know, Dre, he said, I think you'll be fine if you stop right now. He said, but I could see you doing one more. And I remember, like, I was thankful for what he told me, but at the same time, I was disappointed. I was like, what?
- [49:39]
Andre Ward
Wait, Is he giving me permission to.
- [49:40]
Tom Patterson
Give me that extra little oath to, like, give me the courage to walk away? And he challenged me, said, man, I think I can see you doing one more. I said, really? I said, but, yeah, but I just told you, I have no desire to do it. I haven't been to the gym. He said, I know, I know. He said, but once you make up your mind that you want to do the second fight, he said, the fire will be rekindled. And he just sat there, and I got up, and I walked out. And again, I had mixed emotions. I was like, man, I appreciate him, man. That wasn't what I thought he was gonna say. And he challenged me just to go a little bit longer, go a little bit further, and I was content. Even though I knew I was gonna get some heat and people were gonna say, you're running from Kovalev. You lost the first fight. You're scared to fight the second fight. I knew I was gonna get that, but I was over it. Drove home and talked to my wife and mulled over her for about another week. I picked up the phone, I told my team, I said, man, get the money, right? I said, we'll do the second fight. And just like that, the desire kicked off.
- [50:40]
Ed Mylett
It did come back. You trained just as rigorously for that fight as any other fight.
- [50:44]
Tom Patterson
I had the best training camp for that fight than I probably ever had my whole career. I was the happiest. I just enjoyed it again.
- [50:54]
Ed Mylett
Okay, the first.
- [50:55]
Tom Patterson
First fight, physical issues. It was just a lot of pressure. Like, it was just a lot. It just didn't feel right. But once I got through that and got to this other side, man, I had a great camp, and I was happy. I had to bounce back in my Legs, my body felt good. I just mentally, like me and Verz had planned to knock him out. That was the first thing Ver said when I went back to the gym. He said, we gonna stop him. And in my mind I'm like, all right, how?
- [51:20]
Ed Mylett
Like, give me the how.
- [51:22]
Andre Ward
That's the what?
- [51:22]
Tom Patterson
What's the how? He said, we're gonna hit him to the body. He said, you broke him. That second half of that fight, he was exhausted. He said, we're gonna pick up where we left off. And the camp was just amazing.
- [51:32]
Brendan Burchard
It was amazing, Amazing.
- [51:33]
Tom Patterson
We had, you know, bumps and bruises, but that was the best camp, emotionally that I've had in a long time.
- [51:38]
Andre Ward
So that leads to the big question.
- [51:40]
Ed Mylett
Like, he retired.
- [51:42]
Andre Ward
By the way, if you want to see something, it's unbeliever.
- [51:44]
Ed Mylett
So this was a dominant win.
- [51:45]
Andre Ward
Okay, I, I think your best fight.
- [51:47]
Ed Mylett
Myself because of who it was against too. But so you want to see an.
- [51:52]
Andre Ward
Emotional clip, go to his Instagram, which we're going to promote at the very end.
- [51:54]
Ed Mylett
We're going to promote some things here in a minute that I want you all to see that are awesome that he's doing. But let me just be clear with you. You need to go watch this video. It's emotional. Watch. I told him I got teary eyed watching it alone. Right, but so you lost a little.
- [52:06]
Andre Ward
Of your juice after the first fight.
- [52:08]
Ed Mylett
You found it.
- [52:09]
Andre Ward
Then he retired after this fight.
- [52:11]
Ed Mylett
Okay, but like still the dominant fighter that you are. Like, why not fight again? Do you know you're not going to fight again?
- [52:19]
Andre Ward
Or is there the chance that something.
- [52:21]
Ed Mylett
Like that happens again and that fire.
- [52:23]
Andre Ward
Gets rekindled and we see you back.
- [52:24]
Ed Mylett
In the ring again?
- [52:25]
Andre Ward
Because he walked in there, I'm like, this dude is fit. I mean, ready to go. It's been a year Friday that he decided to retire.
- [52:32]
Ed Mylett
But like really, you know how boxers are.
- [52:35]
Andre Ward
Like really now he saved some money.
- [52:37]
Ed Mylett
He's not, not your normal boxer.
- [52:39]
Andre Ward
But be real. Like, is there a door open? I know you can't. Like, is it cracked open? Is it possible the right dude came.
- [52:46]
Ed Mylett
Along, called you out, whatever?
- [52:48]
Andre Ward
Like, be, don't, don't do the TV answer. Do the real answer.
- [52:51]
Ed Mylett
Like, is there a chance that you would fight again?
- [52:54]
Tom Patterson
Listen, it's not something I'm planning, you know, it's not something I'm planning. It's not something that's being mapped out. But I'm also smart enough to know that you don't know how things are gonna unfold. You just don't know. So I'm always gonna keep myself in some kind of shape.
- [53:13]
Ed Mylett
Yeah, you're smirking.
- [53:14]
Tom Patterson
I'm always keep my eye on the game and just see who's who and what's going on. But I'm not planning on it. Like, the why is what we're gonna address in my upcoming documentary, unguarded.
- [53:29]
Ed Mylett
I always put these polls in out to you guys saying, who do you want on my show? And there kept being this name come.
- [53:34]
Andre Ward
Up, this beautiful name, by the way.
- [53:35]
Ed Mylett
Fallon Taylor.
- [53:36]
Andre Ward
Fallon Taylor.
- [53:37]
Ed Mylett
Get her on your show. But she's probably best known for being.
- [53:40]
Andre Ward
A world barrel racing champion.
- [53:42]
Ed Mylett
I'm so excited for you guys to hear this story.
- [53:44]
Andre Ward
So thank you for being here, Fallon.
- [53:45]
Fallon Taylor
Thank you so much.
- [53:46]
Ed Mylett
So, guys, now here we go. Just so you know, if you're driving the car, you need to grip your steering wheel a little bit tighter because this is about to get really good. Like, really hugely inspiring.
- [53:56]
Brendan Burchard
If you're on the treadmill at the gym, you're to about, about to go.
- [53:59]
Ed Mylett
From level 7 to level 10 like that. And if you're watching YouTube, this is.
- [54:03]
Andre Ward
The part where you bring your kids.
- [54:04]
Brendan Burchard
In the room and you say, watch this.
- [54:05]
Ed Mylett
Okay, so tell them what happens. You're starting to make your comeback, guys. This is one of the most amazing stories you're going to hear. So you're making your comeback and what happens?
- [54:17]
Fallon Taylor
Well, I'd like to tell you my mantra. It's going to get rocky. And I'm going to tell you the mantra that my dad told me the whole time throughout my entire career and me being very risky was whatever you do, don't end up in a hospital because you'll die in there.
- [54:29]
Brendan Burchard
Wow.
- [54:29]
Fallon Taylor
And, you know, it just kind of rang in my head because I was riding dangerous horses and I was doing a lot of training. And then I started training around the clock because of the weather and I needed my bills paid. And I'm riding, riding, riding and taking chances that I shouldn't have had to take, you know, just because I was not understanding my growth and I wasn't understanding my contribution. And so I was training really, really late at night in August in 2009, and I'm riding this horse. That's fine. Everything's fine. We're training. Everything's normal. My poor staff member was there with her boyfriend, and it was just us, lonely at night, lights on in the arena, and I'm going to train this horse. And as I was taking off around the arena, this horse slipped kind of in a mud puddle and it was not a big deal, you know, whatever. He slips. And he was feeling for frisky. And you kind of know that when a horse behaves a certain way, he's feeling a little frisky. I should have known better. I should have taken more precautions, but I didn't. It's what I do for a living. What's the big deal? And I start laughing. I start giggling. And this horse starts to buck. And when I say buck, you know, horses can play and buck, and they can crow, hop and buck. This horse did something that's like a wild instinct. So he reared up. When he did, he broke all the bones on this side of my face. And when he came down to the ground, I'm still laughing. I'm like, okay, whatever. And, you know, in the cowboy industry, you gotta be tough, you know? And so I start to pull this horse up, and as I do, he hits me in the head again. And I. Skull fracture in four places. Of course, I don't know this. And of course I'm not wearing a helmet, because that's just not the cool, tough thing to do. And he begins to buck a little bit more. And I just decide that I'm gonna pick a place off over here to jump off, which is a terrible idea. But I picked a place to kind of jump off. And when I did, he kicked my feet about 13 or 14ft in the air. And I landed straight down on my head. My legs just kind of flopped over and I was unable to move. I was paralyzed right in that moment. And what a tough place to be in, you know, Because I was in this horrible relationship. And in a spot where I'm like, who's gonna save me? You know? So all I have is my career. If I get hurt, I can't make a living. How am I gonna take care of myself? I'm in this horrible place. How am I gonna get up? I gotta get up. And so my friend came over. I was strapped down to a picnic table because I was too cheap to ride in an ambulance. So I get 10 taken in a pickup truck. In a pickup truck on a picnic table to the hospital. And I get there and I start joking with the staff because it's just my way. And the lady in the front desk, my friend went in and asked for a gurney. And she said, you don't need a gurney. That girl's out there telling jokes. Quit being so dramatic. So my friend that was a paramedic, they take me in and they finally get me a gurney. I could have walked I think. I think I could have. But when I got through the MRI machine and joking with the doctor that was helping me, I kept telling him, you know, hooters closes in 15 minutes and we're really close now. Like, let's go get some food. Tell me I have a concussion. Let's get out of here. And he came back in the room. He said, you have a 2% chance to live. And he said, it's really been touching to get to know you, but he said, the plane's running and you have 13 minute flight to think about your life. And I hope that you really take that time to think about what you're going to do now, because you're never going to ride horses again. And I'll never forget getting. I'll never. I don't know why I remember the guys names. There were two guys named Russell that carried me to the plane and had me on this, you know, in the C collar and strapped to the table. And I get to.
- [58:18]
Brendan Burchard
Can someone get me some tissue, please? Someone grab one.
- [58:20]
Andre Ward
Thank you.
- [58:21]
Fallon Taylor
I get to the hospital room and there's a whole nother story in the hospital. But I was told again, I have 2% chance to live, that I would never walk again. The neurosurgeon told me I was an absolute idiot for riding horses. Thank you. They don't stop. They come down and it's over.
- [58:41]
Ed Mylett
It's beautiful.
- [58:43]
Fallon Taylor
So I had a second to think, and all I could think of was my dad telling me, you know, you're gonna die in hospital. You can't don't die in a hospital. And I'm like, this is crazy superstition that you're gonna die in a hospital. And I wake up the next day, heavily drugged, obviously with a halo on. I had a girlfriend in the hospital. Tell me, they're gonna offer you two scenarios. You can get the surgery with the box in your neck, or you can get the halo. They're gonna shave your head. You're gonna have holes in your head. She said, go that way. I've seen this go a bunch of different ways. So when the doctor came in, I started bawling and I was like, I want the halo. You know, all I can think of is this cage on my head. I want the halo. At this point, I've called my mom and dad and told them that I was an offender bender, because they're with their grandkids in California. And I'm like, I'm an offender bender. Everything's fine. So I'm all fine. It's gonna be fine. And I've got to figure out a way to get out of this hospital. So I get these nurses that come in and I say, hey, how can I get out of here? Because now I've got this real embedded childhood fear that I'm gonna die in a hospital. And I've got a damn good chance at this point with the situation I'm in.
- [59:51]
Ed Mylett
True, I could die in here.
- [59:54]
Fallon Taylor
So shout out to all the amazing medical professionals, because it's just my own superstition. They did an amazing job. One came in, I said, I need to get out of here. And she laughed at me. And she said, well, you know, when you can walk from one end of the hall to the other, then they'll let you out. But you're not going to do that. You got a long time. You need to settle in. You've got about six months you're going to be here. So the next nurse came in and she said. She laughed at me. And she goes, you know, she's writing, oh, you've got six months. You know, you just, like, settle in. And then the next lady came in really late on shift, and she was amazing, and if I could find her, I would give her everything I've got. She came in and I said, how do I get out of here? I gotta get out of here. Like, I really gotta get out of here. And she said, well, you walk to the end of the hall and you come back, you can get out. And I said, well, let's do that. How do we do that now? She said, well, you gotta get up. And the big risk is, you know, if and when you fall down, you know, you can wiggle your fingers and toes, and that's good, but when you get up, it's not gonna feel like you thought it was. And you got all this equipment on your head, you're gonna hit the ground, and then you could die. And I was like, well, they've given me terrible odds at this point, so what the hell? And it was just very cool. This lady, that moment, she has no idea what she did for me because she's just like, just, well, you know, I'm willing to try it. She takes the belt and she ties it to the ceiling, and I get up and I fall down just like she said I would. And then she said, if you just put one foot in front of the other, you know, you can get down to the end of the hall and it could take you months, but we're gonna try it.
- [61:28]
Ed Mylett
Wow.
- [61:29]
Fallon Taylor
It took me about an Hour and a half. And I got up and down the end of the hall, and I took all the people that didn't believe me. You know, the lady at the front desk and the nurses that came in. And I said, tomorrow, I'm gonna deliver flowers to each and every one of you guys because you didn't believe. And maybe I can change your mind, because other people are gonna come in here, and they need to know they can walk. And so the next day, I gathered up all my strength. Mom, at this point, knows that I've had. I've been structurally destroyed, is what I was told. She got called from, actually, a newspaper outlet that was interviewing for rodeo publication that had leaked my medical records. So my parents found out in that way. So now I've got to do damage control and learn to walk. And I told mom, I said, we got to go to the florist. I made him a promise. And so it was a really cool scene to watch all of these people that just didn't believe. Instead of me being angry at these people that didn't believe in my journey to just shine a light on it and show them a different way. So I went and got floral arrangements for every single person that told me I couldn't do it. And I walked in there, and I walked to each of their offices, and I think, hopefully I gave them a gift that they can always have.
- [62:44]
Brendan Burchard
You're amazing.
- [62:46]
Fallon Taylor
You might not believe how I'm gonna do it, but it gave me a lot of clarity, too. Sometimes you're just not asking the right person, you know.
- [62:57]
Andre Ward
Wow.
- [63:00]
Ed Mylett
I think everybody should just literally go.
- [63:01]
Brendan Burchard
Back and listen to all of this again.
- [63:03]
Fallon Taylor
Thank you.
- [63:04]
Brendan Burchard
You make this honestly.
- [63:05]
Ed Mylett
I'm gonna tell you something.
- [63:06]
Brendan Burchard
This is, like, such a blessing to be here with you.
- [63:08]
Dr. Taryn Marie Staskel
Thank you.
- [63:08]
Ed Mylett
It's a blessing to be here with you.
- [63:10]
Brendan Burchard
Thank you. I'm really moved right now, and I'm trying to not get too moved so that I can still ask you questions.
- [63:17]
Fallon Taylor
But it has a happy ending. I know it's such a happy ending.
- [63:21]
Brendan Burchard
But it's a. I know we're gonna go to there, but it's a happy.
- [63:24]
Ed Mylett
Ending because of everything you just said, that there.
- [63:28]
Brendan Burchard
There's so many things in there that we all have these people who don't believe in us, and we're scared, and they're scared, too.
- [63:36]
Fallon Taylor
They're scared to tell me I could walk down the hall because they know I can't. They're scared, too.
- [63:40]
Ed Mylett
And maybe that's true for so many.
- [63:41]
Brendan Burchard
People, where you have these people in Your life that are close to you that are maybe pulling you down. Maybe they're just scared for you. Maybe they're scared for them that you're going to leave them too, Right?
- [63:49]
Fallon Taylor
Absolutely.
- [63:49]
Brendan Burchard
And everything that you have, and I just want to acknowledge you, like. Like, you're freaking amazing.
- [63:55]
Ed Mylett
Like, you're amazing. And I just. Just to be clear with everybody, this.
- [64:01]
Brendan Burchard
Break was very serious, very similar to Christopher Reeve.
- [64:05]
Ed Mylett
Right.
- [64:05]
Brendan Burchard
And I mean, not all that dissimilar injury.
- [64:07]
Ed Mylett
Correct.
- [64:07]
Fallon Taylor
It's not. It's the same injury. So when you break your C2, that's what controls your head going left or right. And you have a very, very, very small chance of making it out on the other side with a lot of neck breaks. This would be the one that you really don't want to happen.
- [64:25]
Brendan Burchard
Unbelievable. I'm picturing you there. I mean, you tell the story so well. I can actually picture you. And I'm so proud of you.
- [64:32]
Ed Mylett
You just.
- [64:33]
Brendan Burchard
Remarkable. And everybody that just heard this, I.
- [64:36]
Ed Mylett
Told them they were going to be.
- [64:37]
Brendan Burchard
Moved, but I didn't even know until you told it in front of me how much it would move me. It puts in perspective so many things that I think are big obstacles in.
- [64:45]
Ed Mylett
My life that really aren't. There's so many things that I think.
- [64:48]
Brendan Burchard
Are a really big deal, and they're not.
- [64:50]
Andre Ward
And that is a big deal.
- [64:51]
Fallon Taylor
You wake up and wiggle your fingers and your toes. Tomorrow you're gonna be like, oh, okay.
- [64:55]
Unnamed Speaker
My gosh.
- [64:56]
Ed Mylett
All right, let's be real. If your gut is off, everything feels off. Your digestion, your energy, your mood, your focus. It all starts in your gut, and you know it. You just don't feel like yourself. Right? And it doesn't have to be that way. That's why I love Just Thrive probiotics. Most probiotics never make it to your gut alive. Just Thrive is clinically designed to arrive in your gut 100 alive and actually work. So here's my challenge to you. Try Just thrive probiotic for 90 days, risk free. If you don't feel a difference, they'll refund every penny. Just pay for shipping. Go to just thrive health.com and use code ED to save 20% off on your first bottle. It's time to stop surviving and start thriving. Take the 90 day Just Thrive challenge today at Just Thrive Health.com and use code ED. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or condition. These statements and information are not a substitute for or alternative to seeking care from your health care providers. Hey, guys, if you're not like me, I'm not into chasing trends, but I like to wear nice stuff. And a lot of you have been complimenting me on some of the stuff I've been wearing on the show lately. And I gotta tell you, I attribute all of that to Quince. They got great lightweight layers, high quality staples that have become really everyday essentials that I wear. I love the fact that my clothes are comfortable, but I actually love the fact that it's affordable. By the way, you get stuff on quints for like half the price.
- [66:20]
Brendan Burchard
And it's good stuff.
- [66:20]
Ed Mylett
They work directly with the manufacturers, so they cut out all the middlemen so they can give you luxury pieces without the markups. And Quince only works with factories that are ethical and responsible in their manufacturing processes. And fabrics are the best in the world.
- [66:35]
Brendan Burchard
And they're premium finishes as well.
- [66:36]
Ed Mylett
Stick to the staples that last with elevated essentials from quince. Go to quince.comed for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince. Q U I N C E dot com ed to get free shipping and 365 returns, that's quince.com ed very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far.
- [67:01]
Brendan Burchard
Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett.
- [67:03]
Ed Mylett
Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way.
- [67:08]
Brendan Burchard
My guest today has a new book out called the Five Practices of Highly Resilient why Some Flourish When Others Fold. And that is something we really are gonna need to know a lot more of during this time. So, Dr. Taryn Marie Staskel, welcome to the show finally. It's great to have you here.
- [67:23]
Dr. Taryn Marie Staskel
Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much for having me. It's such an honor and I'm delighted to be here as your guest.
- [67:28]
Brendan Burchard
Yeah, I'm curious. This is a hard one. And I hesitated to ask this, but, like, is there anything different you would tell a young you or a child?
- [67:36]
Ed Mylett
So if someone has a child, they're.
- [67:38]
Brendan Burchard
Listening to this or they're a young person listening to this, or if you could go back to you at 14.
- [67:44]
Ed Mylett
Anything you would share with them about.
- [67:46]
Brendan Burchard
Life or resiliency that maybe is more appropriate or better to be known young than to figure out later in life would have saved us all a lot of time or pain or angst in life. And I know it's a difficult question because it's not really out of the book. But is there something that right when I said that came to your mind?
- [68:02]
Dr. Taryn Marie Staskel
Yeah. For me there's kind of two questions in that question. Right. There's the question about how does this work, informed parenting. And there's also the question of like what would I go back and tell my younger self. Right. So you just received the book today and there's actually in the third section, there's a series of chapters on kind of specific experiences. There's a chapter on women and leadership and there's a chapter on resilient parenting. Yes, right. And so the one thing that I'd say about parenting and then I'll also share what I'd go back and tell like my 14 year old self. I think one of the most powerful things, and it's simple that we can do as parents is we can be the big person that we wanted to have when we were a little person. And you know, we don't all grow up with great role models, we don't all have great experiences, but we remember, we all remember what it was like to be a kid. And in that moment when we fell down, when we were crying, when we were getting into trouble, when we weren't making a good decision, when we needed to be heard. Right. Even if we didn't have a good role model for how our big people responded to us, we know what we would have wanted.
- [69:23]
Brendan Burchard
It's so true.
- [69:25]
Dr. Taryn Marie Staskel
And so that means in any moment as a parent, to be a resilient parent and to raise resilient children, all we have to do is tap into what would I would have wanted as a little person and what can I offer now as a big person? And what that also does is it breaks the cycle. It breaks the cycle of negative behavior, it breaks the cycle of reactivity, it breaks the cycle of simply repeating what we saw. Because that's all we know. You know, many, many, many people can perpetuate a cycle. It only takes one to break it.
- [69:58]
Brendan Burchard
That's right. I call that person the one. In every family, there's the one. And when you find a really happy family or a very rich family somewhere back in their lineage, they weren't. And then the one shows up. And I think a lot of times people think when I say the one, they're like, oh, that's the warrior. That's the, that's the strong one. Well, yeah, you're probably going to go through things that other people didn't get necessarily go through. But maybe you didn't and maybe you Just had the courage to share it. And maybe it was your vulnerability. It's not a worry or a grit thing. It's a deciding in your family that you're going to be the one. It's a deciding in your life that I'm going to change my family generationally, forever. And those curses or behaviors or patterns, better said in a family, can be changed by one person. And you're 100% right about that. A hundred percent right about that.
- [70:48]
Ed Mylett
So the last chapter 12, by the.
- [70:50]
Brendan Burchard
Way, you have resilient living rituals for a resilient life. And I'm into that stuff. I like rituals. I think under pressure, human beings operate back to their habits and rituals when they're put under pressure. It's just a reflexive thing to do. We operate reflexively when pressure happens. And so sometimes adversity can create pressure. And so what are some rituals for a resilient life that someone can have.
- [71:16]
Ed Mylett
That we haven't covered? Because we've covered a lot of them.
- [71:18]
Dr. Taryn Marie Staskel
We have covered a lot of things, haven't we? Yeah. And I'll just say before I transition to rituals what I'd go back and tell my 14 year old self. That's okay. In case anyone was waiting for us to touch on that.
- [71:28]
Ed Mylett
No. In addition, by the way, when she said that, I got the book, I got the hard copy of the book today.
- [71:31]
Brendan Burchard
But the reason I know so much.
- [71:32]
Ed Mylett
About the book is. Cause I had a digital copy, but go ahead. Yes.
- [71:35]
Dr. Taryn Marie Staskel
Yeah. So I'm a big believer in things happening for a reason and not in the, like we tell someone in a hard time, like everything happens for a reason. Because I think that invites people to look outside of themselves for a reason rather than to look inside of ourselves for the meaning that we want to make and how we want to answer those hard why questions.
- [72:00]
Brendan Burchard
Wow.
- [72:01]
Dr. Taryn Marie Staskel
Yeah. And so just as we talked about, you know, around loving, you know, our journey, loving ourselves and really integrating, you know, that sense of self love for all parts, for all experiences. I wouldn't, I wouldn't change anything. Right. Because that brought me to the person that I am today. That brought us to sitting right here across from each other. And I love my life and I love the person that I'm, that I've become and that I am becoming. And that 14 year old girl could have used some encouragement because she was scared and she didn't know how to make sense of what was happening to her. So I would simply go back and I would say to her, it gets better, it gets better. Hang in there.
- [72:55]
Brendan Burchard
That's beautiful. And you know what? If I could go back and grab the young me, I would have loved someone to have said that to me, too. I actually, it leads to that question too, about rituals, because one of the rituals I've tried to establish in my own life is to encourage people, is to believe in people. And I feel like anybody listening to this, when you're feeling helpless, get helpful. And one of the ways you can be helpful in people's lives is to truly believe in them and to encourage them. And it's amazing that of all the things you could have answered that you could go back to, you basically said that you wish you could go back and encourage. Encourage her. And most people, if I asked you if you could go back at any point when you were a young person, you wish someone could come back and tell you it's going to get better, everything's going to be okay. I believe in you. You're amazing. To encourage people. So if that's the one thing you all wish you could have had more of when you were young or you would go back and wish for yourself now, how powerful would it be to be that? Be the way you are with human beings right now, if it's the one. And I think if I asked a hundred people that question, 100 would give a very similar answer. I'd go back and say, everything's going to be okay. It's going to get better. You're amazing. I don't think there's a human that wouldn't answer that way, which is incredible because human beings are so diverse and so different. And so why not behave as that type of a person in people's lives day to day? Because I know that's what I needed when I was young, when I was so insecure and so shy and so ashamed of what was going on in my house. And just like, insecure and not that.
- [74:27]
Ed Mylett
Big of a guy and not that smart of a guy.
- [74:29]
Brendan Burchard
And man, I wish I could go back and hug that little dude and go, man, you're awesome. Everything's gonna be okay. It's gonna get better. Right?
- [74:36]
Ed Mylett
So I just sort of decided with.
- [74:39]
Brendan Burchard
Sincerity and truth to be that person in people's lives as. As often as I can be. And so I just feel like our whole world would be a whole lot better agree. If that were the case. So that is a ritual of mine. What are some of those rituals that you talk about in the book?
- [74:53]
Dr. Taryn Marie Staskel
I love that. I love that. Well, you know, I think. I think one of the Issues that I've had with other work on resilience in general is that sometimes the other work that I've seen glosses over the real gritty parts of challenge, change, and complexity. It's almost like you start watching a movie at the beginning, fast forward to the last five minutes, and then everything's good again. But it's like, well, what happened in that expanse? And so some of this work on resilience, I think can feel like, well, we're all baking cupcakes, right? And like, look, do you want sprinkles? You know, and folks are like, yeah, this whole resilience thing, like, doesn't really resonate with me because it's not real.
- [75:38]
Ed Mylett
It's not real.
- [75:39]
Dr. Taryn Marie Staskel
And it's really about, like, getting into the belly of it. And so, you know, when we are going to change something about the way that we're living our lives, I think it's helpful to ritualize that or to create a new routine or a new habit, right? And one of the things I really tried to do with this book was to not only give the practices and to not only do the inspirational storytelling and to not only tell some stories about my own life, but to really have people walk away with a lot of practical information around. If I'm going to do one thing different, what can I do? Right? So I think the first ritual is people actually asking themselves, right? Just me asking myself, you asking yourself, what is the highest value, one thing different I can do in my life?
- [76:35]
Brendan Burchard
Biggest needle mover.
- [76:36]
Dr. Taryn Marie Staskel
Biggest needle mover. And that can be different for each person, right? For one person, it might be, I am going to drink a full glass of water before I have breakfast or drink my coffee in the morning, right? It's really small. And as you know, when we continue to do the things that we say we're going to do, like you talk in your book about not giving up on yourself, right? And there's also a sense of self abandonment there that happens when we don't keep promises to ourselves, right? So learning not to abandon ourselves and to make a promise to ourselves that I'm gonna do one high value, one biggest needle mover thing different. And again, the word biggest is in quotation marks. That's gonna be different for different people. And then decide and stick to that and don't give up on yourself and don't abandon yourself and just stick with that thing, right? And so some of those practices, right, in the book, like, if we look at vulnerability, right, Vulnerability can be about saying, where am I gonna go Deeper in my relationships, the vulnerability bias tells me if I share who I am to a greater degree, if I allow people to know me and to see me, the three Ls will occur. People won't like me, they won't love me, and they might leave. And that is an incredible fear that blocks our vulnerability. So when we look at the vulnerability bias square in the eyes and say, you know what? That one thing that I'm going to do, I'm going to share one thing each day that feels vulnerable to me, that's going to allow people to see and know me to a greater degree.
- [78:36]
Brendan Burchard
In every interview, if it's a great one, something stands out to me that I didn't think would when I was reading the work to get it. And I just got it from you, which is not to abandon yourself.
- [78:46]
Ed Mylett
I've never heard that said before.
- [78:48]
Brendan Burchard
Don't abandon yourself. Breaking those promises you make to yourself is abandoning yourself. Not being vulnerable with people is abandoning yourself. Not tapping into your resiliency is abandoning yourself. Not creating new habits and rituals that serve you is abandoning yourself. That is. That's a wow right there. Do you think of the three Cs anyone is more difficult? Is change the most difficult one? Complexity, change. I'm just thinking through them like change is a biggie for people. All three Cs are major, right? That's why you call them the big three Cs. But is any one of them more difficult, do you think, than others? Are they all just depending on the human being difficult?
- [79:26]
Dr. Taryn Marie Staskel
Yeah, I love that question. I really believe, based on my experience, that it's contextually driven and that it's driven by the human. So sometimes in our lives we might say, you know what? This would be, I would be fine with this if it just wasn't so darn complex, right? Like, I think about it like a health diagnosis, right? It's like, okay, I got it, I've integrated. This is my diagnosis. But darn it, if it's not difficult to navigate the healthcare system and to know what to do next and how I wait. Like, that's just. The complexity is the hardest part, right? Then we think about losing someone that we love and that change of that person being here.
- [80:10]
Brendan Burchard
That's a good point.
- [80:11]
Dr. Taryn Marie Staskel
Versus moving on to another place, depending on what people believe about that, that that change is tremendously difficult. So I think it depends on the human and I think it also depends on the context.
- [80:22]
Brendan Burchard
Tell them about Nelson really quick. In the book, I want them to finish with a really example of resiliency that they can remember that maybe they're all kind of, you know, you may know this, but you may not know this. So do you mind covering that really quick?
- [80:36]
Dr. Taryn Marie Staskel
Yeah, I'd love to. And I think this really goes back to what you were also saying about your own vulnerability and continuing to be on that journey. Because I think so often, you know, we look at people that have achieved great things and we think, well, they never had to go through what I went through, right? You know, their path was paved, their spoon was silver, right? And then that can become a reason for why we don't persist. That can become a reason for why we don't try one more time. And I think something that's really powerful and this is going to pertain to the story is that success is an answer, failure is an answer. Not trying is a lifetime of not knowing. And so when we think about the story of Nelson, right, He was the one in his family. He grew up in a rural area. His family was largely illiterate. He had sort of a standoffish relationship with his father, very close with his mother. Then she passed away unexpectedly, which left a huge hole in his heart. He showed a flair for education where no one else in his family had. So he continued to advance and ultimately went to university. But then he sort of fell in with this crowd that wasn't much approved of. And they were about social action and they were about social change. And so he was expelled from school and on his way back to his family's home, he got whinge. Or he got word that his father wanted to straighten the boy out, right? And so his father came up with, you know, I don't know how you feel about this, Ed, but, you know, I think this is really what we should be doing with children that are having difficulties is he was gonna get the boy married, right? Because that solves everything, doesn't it?
- [82:38]
Fallon Taylor
Right?
- [82:39]
Ed Mylett
Not where I would go, right?
- [82:42]
Dr. Taryn Marie Staskel
So he finds out that he's to be married and he's like, ah, heck no. Right? So he doesn't go home. He goes to a neighboring town where he has no resources, no community, and he starts living on the streets and he becomes an on again, off again night watchman. You know, he's got no health insurance. You know, he doesn't have any contacts, he doesn't have any money to his name. So if we just sort of pause that story right there and I were to say, like, Ed, how hopeful are you feeling about Nelson's prospects?
- [83:12]
Brendan Burchard
Probably nobody's gonna know who Nelson Is Right, right.
- [83:14]
Dr. Taryn Marie Staskel
You know, but we said he was the one. We said he was the one. And what this is, is the lesser well known story of Nelson Mandela.
- [83:23]
Brendan Burchard
That's awesome.
- [83:24]
Dr. Taryn Marie Staskel
Right? And this is so powerful, right, because. And I talk about this on my podcast, right? Like flourish or Fold. And it's about the well known story, the lesser well known stories of well known people. Right. And I think it's. I love that you asked this question because I think it's so important for us to share the behind the scenes. Right? Because otherwise we look at Nelson Mandela and we're like, he persevered through prison, he became a global leader, he dismantled apartheid. Right. But look at what was happening in the backdrop and in interviews. He literally points to his difficult childhood and the adversity that he faced as the things that actually formed him to be able to take on greater and greater challenge over time. And so, you know, if we think about wrapping up with this story, I think it's important, it's been important for me to remember, if I speak from my experience. Right. That nobody has a paved path and that behind the scenes we never really know what's going on.
- [84:33]
Brendan Burchard
Right. Most importantly was that you've created your right narrative and Nelson took that story of his life and turned it into a narrative that served him. And that's why your work is so profound. I'm really glad we finished on that. It ties everything together. This has been a great conversation.
- [84:51]
Ed Mylett
We've been doing ads for Tommy John forever. They're my favorite ads to do because.
- [84:56]
Brendan Burchard
I'm a raving fanatic, not just a clown.
- [84:58]
Ed Mylett
It. Because that's what they have.
- [84:59]
Brendan Burchard
I want to pick his brain about that and life in general. So, Tom Patterson, welcome to the show.
- [85:03]
Unnamed Speaker
Thanks, Ed. It's an honor. I'm so grateful to be here.
- [85:06]
Brendan Burchard
But if someone was to start right now and said, hey, I think I'm going to become an entrepreneur, this is sort of an open ended question. I want to become an entrepreneur, but I'm not really totally sure where to start. This thing you said earlier in the interview about solve a problem, that type of thing, do you think everybody is an entrepreneur or do you think that that's reserved for a certain type of person?
- [85:28]
Unnamed Speaker
That's a great debate. I mean, I think I have a different answer at five year periods. I think everybody has a million dollar idea. I think some people struggle with the discomfort and the uncertainty. And being an entrepreneur is all about uncertainty. You have to be ready to move and pivot and change. And again, I'm going to go back to sports. Like sports and being that Roomba vacuum and failing. I had a coach that said to me, tom, you're never going to increase your capacity to grow unless you fail. And if you don't fail, you're going to be an underachiever in life. So by not failing, you're not reaching your potential. And I think for me, I always got pushed and wanted to drive more and more and more. And I think seeing entrepreneurs and seeing the type of family and the type of life that they were living, it was really inspiring for me. I wanted more, I wanted to do more, I wanted to travel more. I wanted to be around different personalities. So for me, I think it's a question, are entrepreneurs born or made? I think for me it was probably born. I had lawn mowing businesses. Dude. I shoveled sidewalks and snow blowed sidewalks before basketball practice in high school, I would knock on doors and after asked to do the mowing for the summer. So I always worked. And I was always curious about making learning ways to make more money. But I would say for anybody here, I didn't have the perfect network. I didn't go to the perfect school. I didn't have the perfect connections. I didn't get the right internship. It was really people. I valet cars in Scottsdale. When I went to college, I sold cell phones at a kiosk and Fashion Square mall in Phoenix. But those people skills and interacting and understanding how to read nonverbal cues, that EQ part, I think really prepared me to be in a position to see the signs or opportunity to start a business. And I think that there was a preparation through my childhood and through things I was involved in that allowed me to see those signs.
- [87:35]
Ed Mylett
Yeah.
- [87:37]
Unnamed Speaker
But I didn't grow up in an environment of entrepreneurs. My parents weren't entrepreneurs. And you, you say this middle class. I would say we were middle class, maybe at times lower or upper. But middle class is the hardest one to get out of.
- [87:49]
Brendan Burchard
It is.
- [87:50]
Unnamed Speaker
And I often times wonder how, how did I get out or why did I get out? And I don't. I wouldn't say. I don't know if I have the perfect answer.
- [87:58]
Brendan Burchard
I don't know either. In my case. I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking of listening to you. You just said some more real brilliant stuff that I want to unpack there. But like, I think my dad wasn't an entrepreneur. I don't know any entrepreneurs in my family. My grandfather worked in a union. Right. My other grandfather was a printer. So what does this come from? I remember when I was a little.
- [88:17]
Ed Mylett
Boy, I used to sell sodas at.
- [88:19]
Brendan Burchard
The golf course and candy bars through the fence. I had that little business when I was young. Then I had a baseball card business. Then I had an auto detailing business. So somehow as a little guy, I was experimenting with being an entrepreneur and wanting to make money and wanting to expand. And then I. One thing I always had, and I think you have too, I've always been fascinated with growth. And I think sports, to your point, sports gave me that competitive thing you talked about earlier. Sports gave me and you both the ability to deal with and accept failure. Almost like, of course I'm going to strike out. I'm going to get out 7 out of 10 times. Of course you're going to miss a jump shot, right? You always miss something, right?
- [88:55]
Ed Mylett
Of course I'm going to drop a pass or, you know, so I think that helps.
- [88:59]
Brendan Burchard
But you said something earlier, man, that I have never thought of before, which is this notion, I'll probably say it wrong, but that to be successful, you actually have to become comfortable being uncomfortable. But then you said the reverse and.
- [89:12]
Ed Mylett
It describes me very well.
- [89:13]
Brendan Burchard
And you. I'm uncomfortable being comfortable now.
- [89:18]
Ed Mylett
I got all the way the other way. It wasn't. My problem is not being comfortable being uncomfortable.
- [89:22]
Brendan Burchard
My problem is I'm uncomfortable being comfortable or content.
- [89:27]
Ed Mylett
Yes.
- [89:27]
Unnamed Speaker
Yes.
- [89:27]
Ed Mylett
Yeah. Yeah. And I think that it's like, man, I want that to be on some.
- [89:32]
Brendan Burchard
Speech I give because that's a really profound thing that you just said right there and super describes me. What was the. What's a hidden huge benefit?
- [89:41]
Ed Mylett
I ask hard stuff. What's a hidden huge benefit of making.
- [89:44]
Brendan Burchard
Your dream come true? Most people wouldn't know about.
- [89:46]
Ed Mylett
Forget just the wealth or you could travel. I mean, he could live anywhere in the world.
- [89:49]
Brendan Burchard
Dude lives in South Dakota.
- [89:51]
Ed Mylett
Like, so he's not like, like, you know, so what's. No offense to South Dakota. Some of my really good friends are there, but it's not.
- [89:58]
Unnamed Speaker
I invited you. There's parts you'll like.
- [90:00]
Ed Mylett
There are parts I'd like. But I'm not going there. I can tell you right now I will not be there in January, but I will go there with you and especially the golf place that you described. We need to go do that. Having said that, though, what's a little. Give us all, you know, what's a.
- [90:13]
Brendan Burchard
Little thing that happens and I'll give you mine after you give me yours that you didn't think would be cool about making your dream come true? That now is.
- [90:21]
Unnamed Speaker
I think, you know, there's. I'm still always surprised about how many people are aware of the brand. Gosh, it's so huge, right? It still blows my mind. Blows our mind that people are so familiar with it and wear it and the types of people that we meet that are wearing it, that have not met us, that didn't know our brand values or beliefs and just found the product. It's connected, and it's just one. It creates a lot of fun conversations, which we've had of just the underwear category by nature, but it's got us in a lot of rooms that I would have only dreamt of being in. And it's one thing to get in the room, but it's another thing to stay in the room. And I think there's. Jim talked about this where we were like, everybody in this room fought to get in this room, right?
- [91:07]
Brendan Burchard
Jim Rome.
- [91:08]
Wick Grosbeck
Yeah.
- [91:08]
Unnamed Speaker
Jim Rome. There's this mutual respect for some of the rooms because a lot of people don't understand what it took or the sacrifices that were made to get in there. And it's like, man, it's not lonely. There's other people that have been here, right? And I think when you're running a business, it's really lonely. There's not a plan, there's not a playbook. And for me, that's been one of the most exciting things to meet, honestly, like you meeting your heroes, meeting people that have impacted you in so many ways and just not it being awkward. My grandpa taught me. He's like, treat everybody the same, whether it's the front desk receptionist, the janitor. They're all people at the end of the day. And I think for me, one of the gifts I've realized I have is I'm not intimidated by people, but I have a lot of respect for people. And people are like, how did you get that? Get to this level that you're at? I'm like, I've never been scared to ask questions. I've never been scared. Send Kevin Hart some product and talk to him on the phone. At the end of the day, there are real people that wanted to be treated just like anybody else. Nothing makes you more uncomfortable than being treated like you're this fanning out. And I think being around people and just getting to know them, who they are, behind closed doors. There's been, I think, one of the really cool, exciting things about building a business, but it wasn't the intent. That's just, I think, a side surprise benefit of it by the way.
- [92:31]
Ed Mylett
I think you're right about that.
- [92:33]
Brendan Burchard
And the thing is that I think what everybody. I want everyone to hear and the reason I asked you the question is there's lots of side benefits, to use your term, to making your dream come true that you can't imagine right now. And there will be lots of things. There'll be an experience or a moment or. I think for me it's all the stuff I didn't calculate as I was doing it because I think when you have a dream, you kind of picture you in the dream. But for me it was when I got to the other side of it and live it now. It's all the things I never dreamt of doing for other people or moments I could be there for somebody when they need me. That I didn't calculate that. And if you would have told me back then, the reason I want everyone to hear this is if you would have told me back then that you'd be able to do this, that or the other thing for another person, I'd have worked even harder. I'd have taken more hits, I'd have gone through more pain if I knew that the dream wasn't just about me, but it's about all these other people, these lives you can affect and you can impact in small and big ways. If I'd have known all that was going to come with the package of winning, I'd have gone for it even harder and faster. I'd have gone bigger, I'd have done more. So I want everyone to know this. There's more that comes with making a dream come true than you can even possibly imagine. And as good as you think it's gonna be, in many ways it's a thousand million times better. But maybe not even in the way.
- [93:46]
Ed Mylett
Like having lots of money, it's cool, right?
- [93:49]
Brendan Burchard
But it's probably. I don't think it's quite as cool as I thought it was gonna. Not being broke is super cool.
- [93:55]
Ed Mylett
Right.
- [93:55]
Brendan Burchard
But being super rich, I don't. It's not quite as cool as I.
- [93:59]
Andre Ward
Thought it would be, but other parts.
- [94:02]
Brendan Burchard
That come with it are for me. Is that the same for you? Yeah.
- [94:05]
Unnamed Speaker
I think once you've been poor and struggled, you want to do everything possible not to be there again.
- [94:10]
Ed Mylett
Yeah.
- [94:11]
Unnamed Speaker
Right. But I think you brought up a good point. It's something I want to talk to you a lot more about after this is, you know, this success to significance transition that you've made. Right. Had you made that earlier. Right. I think as you go on, how do you make sure you're impacting others. And I think they always say, the people that you can help. You probably said this. The people you can help the most are the ones who are walking through the path that you walk through. And I think if there's one person I can reach today, or 10 people, or you can send this to someone that has a story that resonates with what we're talking about, that's really what people want to hear. And I think anybody that's listening, that's the beauty about podcasts and YouTube today. They're like these masterclasses in, like, Blinkist, Cliff Notes on the stories. And I think a lot of people get caught up. I read this one, I heard this one. I listened to this one. But they're not taking any action. And the hardest part is people know what to do. The hardest part, I think I keep seeing is just getting started. You know, how do they do that?
- [95:07]
Ed Mylett
Like, let's talk about that for a second, because you're right. Like, if I could figure that out.
- [95:12]
Brendan Burchard
We'D have way more millionaires, way better marriages, way more parents raising wonderful kids, whatever it might be in life. Way more people creating cures for diseases.
- [95:22]
Ed Mylett
What is that thing that got, like, you just started?
- [95:27]
Brendan Burchard
Like, if we go all the way back to the beginning, I'm thinking to myself, this dude has no fashion background. He's walking around selling these medical devices. All of a sudden he wakes up and goes, I think we should have better undergarments.
- [95:38]
Ed Mylett
Like, what the. And then you go to the fashion district, and I know where that place is.
- [95:43]
Brendan Burchard
That's not the most comfortable place to go. You make a couple freaking shirts with the Donald Duck thing on there, and now you're sitting in my studio with a brand that everyone that's listening to my show has heard of before.
- [95:55]
Ed Mylett
There's got to be a part of.
- [95:56]
Brendan Burchard
This, like, on the spinning earth, your existence on 2008, the dude you were. Flash forward 15 years later, Bam. Like, it's got to be unbelievable to you, but you did get started, right?
- [96:10]
Ed Mylett
Do you think it's because you were.
- [96:12]
Brendan Burchard
Naive and you didn't know how hard.
- [96:13]
Ed Mylett
It was going to be? What do you think it was that got you started? That holds other people back? Is it they want to be perfect?
- [96:18]
Brendan Burchard
Like, what is it?
- [96:21]
Unnamed Speaker
I just didn't want to play it safe, you know, I wanted to play it big and go big or go home. And for me, I wanted to take a big swing and see if I could do it right. I like getting out of my comfort zone and doing uncomfortable things. So. So I think when we started that was really the mindset really to do it. But I don't know, I think everybody's different. I think this uncertainty or how it's going to be perceived or I don't want to live a life and like downsize and go from two cars to one car. But if you're not comparing yourself to the others, keeping up with the Joneses mentality, I don't know anybody that's made it that didn't struggle, that didn't go through the tough times. And there are very, I think more exceptions than aren't. So I think for us that was really just the mindset that we had.
- [97:10]
Andre Ward
One of the things that I think is the most important things as it relates to winning and it's one of the things that you can decide you're going to do without any natural giftedness because it's the number one talent you must develop in order to win. And it's not talked about on social media. You're not going to get it in a personal development tape and a peak performance program, self help and everything of it. Remember this. The best ability is availability.
- [97:34]
Ed Mylett
Did you hear that?
- [97:35]
Andre Ward
The best ability is availability that you are available to win. Not enough people understand that this is an actual skill and talent. Most people in business or in life, whether it be relationships or the financial part of their life, they're always looking for these little tips and skills that you should develop. How to communicate better, how to be a better listener, how to suppress your ego, how to influence people, how to transfer energy. All these things that I teach, how to deal with failure.
- [98:00]
Ed Mylett
But I believe the greatest talent that.
- [98:02]
Andre Ward
You can draw a line through all the people who have won. Not all the people that win in business or life are unbelievable transfers of energy. Not all of them can close, not all of them can persuade. Not all of them are great listeners. Not all of them even dealt well with adversity. They did that the majority of the time. But all of them have in common. They develop the talent. And yes, it is talent. It is a skill of not quitting. I don't think most of you right now that are struggling in your business life right now are giving yourself enough credit for this incredible talent you're developing, which is resiliency, which is the ability not to quit. Listen what I'm telling you. If somebody has built multiple different companies, I've coached some of the top athletes, entertainers, business people and politicians in the world. And I'm telling you that Even in my own team, when I hire people, I look for resilience. And a notch above that is the talent is the skill of not quitting. As the number one thing that I look for. And many of you right now listening to this, possess the number one skill necessary to win. And don't give yourself any credit for it. Which means it's not helping build your confidence. It's not going to the bank of crediting for your identity. And so although you possess this incredible ability that so many people in the world don't have and don't put possess, you have it and you don't value it, you don't prize it, you don't give yourself credit for having it. It ought to be where you draw the majority of your confidence from the ability to say, I don't quit, I'm resilient. I own the number one skill, the number one talent required to eventually win.
- [99:30]
Ed Mylett
I already have.
- [99:31]
Andre Ward
I can't quit. You'd have to kill me to get me out of chasing my dream, right? So number one, I want to point it out as the number one gift. The best ability is availability. Do you have it? Have you decided to have it? Is it something you're going to possess the rest of your life? And those of you that do have it already, I need you to take an inventory, be aware of it and be intentional with crediting yourself as you're listening to this or watching it today, into the bank of your self confidence, into the bank, into the deposits you make in your identity. Because it has everything to do with winning. Every guest you've seen on my show, all the people that I've coached, all have different talent, skills and abilities.
- [100:08]
Ed Mylett
What's the one they all have the.
- [100:10]
Andre Ward
Ability to stay present, the ability to stay in the fight, to have not quit. You think, well, that's not a big deal really. Because as I've been talking, millions of people made the decision to quit on their dream. Just as I've been talking to you the rest of the day, millions more will tomorrow. Millions more. Every day, literally millions of people quit.
- [100:30]
Ed Mylett
On one of their dreams.
- [100:31]
Andre Ward
Their dream roll relationship, their dream business, their dream body. So quitting has become the number one habit in the world by people that end up losing. And I'm telling you, it happens every day, every second, everywhere. Just the fact that while I've been speaking, you're still after your dream, you're ahead of them. You don't give yourself enough credit because eventually what I found, it looks like winning is this huge competition. But every Day, every week, every year, every decade, as time goes by, you're going to find that you're competing with.
- [100:59]
Ed Mylett
A smaller and smaller and smaller group of people for your dream.
- [101:03]
Andre Ward
Because so many of them will just quit. And by the way, many of them that quit will possess talents, maybe even gifts. You don't have their incredible ability with people, their incredible strength, their incredible brain, and they'll quit with all this giftedness. But you got the talent. You have to learn to distinguish between something that is a talent and a gift. You can develop skills, you can develop talents. Gifts are something you're born with. But the people that I see that win long term are the ones who develop the talents and skills required to win business. And life's a lot like a pinata. You know, I was at a barbecue, a birthday party for a five year old a while back and they did a pinata. Have you seen the pinata before? And it's an unbelievable metaphor for life. In fact, out of we had a call today. Life is like a pinata, because it really is. If you look at these kids at these parties, any of you that ever been to a pinata, you can picture they got the pinata up there, what do they do? It's just like in business and life, when you start something new, a new relationship, a new body, a new pursuit, a new business, right? What do they do? They take this little five year old and they blindfold him.
- [102:03]
Ed Mylett
They blindfold this little guy, right?
- [102:05]
Andre Ward
And he can't see, he doesn't know where he's going. And then they spin him around, he gets completely disoriented, right? And then they hand him a bat. It's scary when you watch it. Don't you picture these little kids, right? You blindfold them, they spin them around, they become disoriented. Does that sound familiar to any of you that are trying to build a business right now? You're completely disoriented. You're blind, you don't know where to go. They spin this little guy around, they hand him a bat and they go hit the pinata. And the pinata is over to the right and they're swinging to the left. They're just whiffing, right? They're not even in the right direction. And then finally what do you do? You grab the little guy or the little girl and you turn them and you have them face the pinata. They were completely disoriented. In fact, they were doing more damage to the people around them. In the beginning with that darn bat you gave them because they're so disoriented, A lot of damage was done before they even faced the actual pinata. They've been blindfolded and spun around, right? They're completely disoriented. Doesn't that sound familiar? It's just like building your new business. It's just like trying to transform your body. It might be just like this brand new relationship you've got. And in fact, the people around him are in danger. In the beginning, when you give these little guys this bat, maybe that sounds familiar. Maybe right now you're at this stage in your business or you've been there before where there's been more damage done.
- [103:13]
Ed Mylett
Than there's been progress. You know what I'm talking about.
- [103:16]
Andre Ward
The people around you have been more hurt by your new venture than benefited from it. Your relationship with them is not as good. Maybe financially you've hurt them or feel like you have. There's been a lot of damage.
- [103:27]
Ed Mylett
But what do we do with these little guys?
- [103:28]
Andre Ward
We eventually take the little girl or little boy and we point them in the right direction at the pinata. That's when you find Ed Mylett's podcast. You find his teachings, you find his YouTube channel or someone like me, and I can point you in the right direction. And then what do these guys do? They take the bat and they're hitting the pinata as hard as they can and they're hitting it and they're hitting it and they're hitting it and no candy comes out. And they get tired, don't they?
- [103:50]
Ed Mylett
And they just.
- [103:51]
Andre Ward
They can't go anymore. So what do you do? You get help and you add a teammate, you add a friend, you take the blindfold off of you and you get a little help.
- [103:59]
Fallon Taylor
Help.
- [103:59]
Andre Ward
That help could be a new recruit in your business, a new employee, a new vendor. It might be a new mentor. And we put the blindfold on them, we spin them around, and then they're disoriented, they're swinging, and they're not even hitting the pinata yet. They're hurting the people around them. Then what do we do? We take them, we point them in the right direction. Now they're following my show or great teachings, and they hit the pinata as hard as they can. No candy comes out. You take another child, new teammate, new recruit in life, right? But in the pinatas, there's another child. You put a blindfold, spin them around, and they hit the pinata, and they're hitting it as hard as they can. And it feels like no progress is Being made, no candy's coming out, right? And eventually they're kitten hit and hit it, and they get tired, and you think, man, how often do they hit this pinata? What happens is sometimes the first few kids who hit the pinata, they kind of disappear from the party and start playing somewhere else. Maybe you've had that experience in your business. Some of the people you start with, they may not finish before the candidate comes out. They may not be there, may not be there to celebrate, right? Some of the initial people disappear, and that could cause you to want to quit. But eventually, what happens with that pinata? Even though these kids are hitting the pinata and they're teaming up, they're all working together to try to make this candy come out, it doesn't look like it, but each shot on that pinata is putting them closer to the candy. Even though it doesn't seem like it, even though you can't see the candy, every blow is like a compound pounding effect. That pounding, compounded by multiple people, eventually can create a breakthrough. But what most people do is they leave the party before the candy comes out. That's true in business. Most people quit before the candy comes out. They don't stick around long enough. They got spun around. They get disoriented, they might hurt the people around. They get pointed in the right direction. They think they're making progress, then they don't. They think they're making progress, then they don't. And eventually, because no candy's coming out, no money, no change body, no amazing relationship, they stop swinging the bat at the pinata. But if you stick around for the party long enough, you know what always happens with a pinata? Eventually someone hits it and bam, the candy comes out everywhere. And everyone celebrates and gets all the candy and dives on it and celebrates. Here's what I'm here to remind you you of today. You got to stick around long enough for the candy to come out. You got to wait for the candy to come out of that pinata. Called your life, called your business, called your body, called your relationships. The vast majority of people in life don't stick around for the candy because they think as they're hitting the pinata of their life, they don't think they're making progress. It doesn't feel like progress. But I'm telling you, the number one ability is availability. And if you keep swinging away every day, even though it doesn't feel like it, you are getting closer to the candy. You're getting closer. It just doesn't feel like it. You know what I had? I had the ability to keep hitting the pinata in my life, to stick around long enough. And by the way, when you eventually win, it's not just you that gets all the candy, that gets all the victory, that gets all the money. Lots of people around you, many of which who you were hurting originally with that bat, many of them who were trying to talk you out of it, they get to celebrate in the candy, too. My prayer for you is that you begin to think about this analogy. The pinata of your life, the pinata of your business, the pinata of your body as you're swinging away. I'm here to tell you, even though it doesn't feel like it, you're getting closer to the candy. And if you can add more people to celebrate, it's okay that you feel disoriented. It's okay that it feels blinding, and you don't know exactly what direction to go. Just like these precious babies with the pinata. It's okay that you miss it once in a while. It's okay that you get tired once in a while. But as long as you keep after it and you keep pounding away that compound effort of your pounding, I can promise you there's candy someday and everybody around you will jump on it and celebrate. That's my wish for you today as you listen to me. Of all the skills I'm going to teach you, you that I've taught you, and if you've not listened to my other shows, I teach about listening, transfer energy, how to close, how to change your identity, how to live blissfully dissatisfied, how to unlock your success code. All of the very detailed things I teach today is the most important thing, is that as you learn all these skills, it'll help you with the blindness. Every single skill you learn, you'll see clearer and clearer and clearer. But if you don't develop the talent, the number one skill in the world, which is to keep hitting the pinata and to stick around until the candy comes out. Because here's the deal. Someone's gonna get the candy in life.
- [108:27]
Brendan Burchard
There's always candy in life.
- [108:28]
Andre Ward
That pinata eventually always breaks down. Do you want to be the person who was there in the beginning, hitting as hard as you could and sacrifice it, and maybe hurting the people around you and never get the candy? Or are you going to get something for your pain? Are you going to get something for your effort? Are you going to get something for this sacrifice you're making? You got to get something for this pain you got to stick in the game until the candy comes out, and then we all get to celebrate. That's what I want you focused on today. I promise you there's a pinata in your life. And right now, many of you feel blind and disoriented, maybe even hurting the people around you. Some of you are past that phase, and you're hitting your thing hard every day. But there's no candy yet. I promise you there's going to be.
- [109:07]
Ed Mylett
A payoff for you.
- [109:08]
Andre Ward
And that's my message for you today.
- [109:12]
Ed Mylett
This is the Ed Milan Show.