What Separates Successful People And People Who Chase Success | Ed Mylett

Summary

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THE ED MYLETT SHOW

Episode: "What Separates Successful People And People Who Chase Success"
Date: November 1, 2025
Host: Ed Mylett | Cumulus Podcast Network

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Episode Overview

In this special episode, Ed Mylett explores the mindset, psychology, and habits that distinguish truly successful people from those who endlessly chase success. Through candid conversations with peak performers across sports, business, and entrepreneurship—including Nick Kyrgios, Damar Hamlin, Tony Robbins, Jesse Itzler, and Manny Khoshbin—the episode unpacks themes of mental resilience, environment, relationships, personal habits, authenticity, and redefining success beyond mere achievement. The conversations are filled with vulnerable admissions, tactical advice, and memorable stories designed to inspire listeners to elevate every area of their lives.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Nick Kyrgios: Talent, Mental Health, and Redefining Success

[02:44 – 24:07]

The Mental Game vs. Raw Talent

• Ed Mylett asks Nick Kyrgios what separates champions like Djokovic from equally talented athletes.
• Nick Kyrgios credits composure, experience, and lifetime discipline:

  "I almost felt the consistency of his work over the course of his career... I actually felt like from a talent standpoint I was better than him at tennis that day, but I still lost... the biggest difference was his ability to just stay composed and have faith in the body of work he’d put in for two decades.” (04:22)

• Highlights the unfair expectations and "finalist vs. legacy" mindsets.

Struggles Off-Court & Mental Health

• Nick reveals his struggles with mental health, suicidal ideation, self-harm, and substance abuse—even during peak career moments:

  “There was a period in my life in 2019 where I was self-harming and suicidal and I was partying a lot... For me, making the final of Wimbledon was like a bonus—just a miracle to have come out of that dark period.” (07:23)
  “When I was playing at the top of the sport, no one really expected me to be going through that. I wore a sleeve to cover it all up... Even just to wake up and go outside was a task, but then I had to live up to the avatar.” (09:49)

Advice for Those Struggling

• Nick’s counsel: Don't isolate. Allow loved ones to help. Break the recovery process into small, manageable habits.

  “The one thing I did that made it worse was block people out... as humans with that, that’s not even how we're supposed to function... You have to want to fix it. It started with getting up in the morning... It took me two years.” (13:03)
  “You can’t surround yourself with toxic people. The five people around you have to be positive and want the best out of you.” (13:03)

On Vulnerability & Legacy

• Ed Mylett:

  “If you can come from where you did and make improvements... In life we’re most qualified to help the person we used to be.” (21:54)

• Nick:

  “It’s not about trophies. For me, success is being able to inspire others... and when I opened up, the amount of people who reached out has been the most powerful thing in my career.” (20:28)

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2. Damar Hamlin: Overcoming Catastrophe, Incremental Growth, and Gratitude

[46:52 – 59:46]

Making a Comeback from Rock Bottom

• Damar shares advice for those facing catastrophic setbacks:

  “You can’t conquer the world in one day... Don’t allow yourself to sit in it—get up and move. Go through the ugly phases and just continue to try to get better one day at a time, one step at a time.” (49:00)

Embracing Ugly Phases and Holding Yourself Accountable

• On holding oneself to higher standard:

  “Make no negotiations with yourself—hold yourself to a different standard and accountability so you can get out of your situation... you can’t get out doing the same things that put you there.” (51:58)

Gratitude and Perspective

• After his near-death experience:

  “There’s no day where I can allow myself to get too low anymore… just to still be here is a blessing... No matter what, I can always bring myself to appreciate at least one thing.” (53:03)

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3. Ed Mylett: The Power of Environment & Relationships

[29:02 – 43:31]

“Environment Overrides Everything”

• Ed explains why so many drift back to their old lives after self-improvement events—environment trumps tactics:

  “Proximity is power. The most powerful force on earth is to be consistent and congruent with the expectations of our peer group.” (30:41)

• Key audit questions:
  • Do the people around you believe in you?
  • Are they “future reference” friends, or do they tie you to the past?
  • Are they energy givers or drainers?

Evaluating and Adjusting Who’s Close

• Be kind and cordial, but concise with negative people—reduce their proximity.
• Add new people by contributing belief, kindness, and support.

Standards Over Goals

• “We get our standards in life, not always our goals... and the people around us help create that standard.” (43:31)

On Legacies and Identifying Your Best Self

• “You were put here to do something great... Maybe you forget who you are because of the people who’ve been in your damn life, because they haven't supported that great version of you. If it’s people who created these limiting beliefs, it’s people who will help you get out of it.” (43:31–46:50)

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4. Tony Robbins: Ownership Over Reactivity, Resilience, and Wealth Mindset

[60:11 – 69:11]

Shifting from Consumer to Owner

• Tony on financial growth and navigating tough economies:

  “The biggest mistake is to pull back right now… stop being a consumer and become an owner… Over time, if you're a consumer, you lose.” (61:59)

Investing Through Uncertainty

• Don't try to time markets—focus on long-term, consistent ownership:

  “If you just try to time the market…just 10 days out of 20 years…you cut your returns in half.” (65:36)

Mindset and Emotional Resilience

• Keep feeding your mind and emotions to avoid reacting out of fear.

Recurring Pattern

• “People are going through their lives reacting to media, the markets, their phones, what everyone’s telling them, instead of being a creator of their own destiny.” (67:08)

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5. Jesse Itzler: Leap Before You’re Ready, Diverse “Buckets” of Success, & Life Systems

[70:09 – 86:37]

Enter Spaces Before You’re Ready

• Jesse advocates for “foot-in-the-door” action:

  “Nothing happens if you don’t get in the door... Experience is overrated. It’s important, but it takes so damn long... The number one thing as an entrepreneur is start.” (71:13)

Customer Experience & Creating Irreplaceability

• Jesse built his career by out-servicing clients:

  “I provided time on jets. No, that’s what everyone else was doing. This is what we’re gonna do—shock and awe... Would I recommend myself as a dad, partner, coach?” (77:44)

Success is Multi-Dimensional

• “It’s not about being good in one bucket. It’s about all the buckets: being a good dad, giving back, standing up for the right thing. When I see people who are mega wealthy, they’re just fucking wealthy. Success isn’t just about money.” (80:15)

Habits & Consistency

• True success is built on day-to-day habits:

  “The foundation of everything is your daily habits... It’s creating winning habits, routines, mindset. There’s no way around it.” (81:13)

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6. Manny Khoshbin: From Homeless to Mogul—Strategic Patience and Practical Investment

[87:32 – 94:01]

From Car Living to Car Collection

• Manny’s journey:

  “There’s a metaphor here: you lived in a car, and now you own one of the greatest car collections on the planet.” (90:48)

Advice for Turning Life Around

• Start by working out, set long-term goals, write them down, improve mindset and circle, and ultimately invest patiently:

  “Doesn't matter what trade you're in, gear up to invest in real estate—wait for recessions, buy low, sell high.” (88:41)

On Timing and Opportunity

• “Life has not passed you by. If you start to accumulate now, you could multiply your wealth. I made all my money in recessions.” (92:07, 89:18)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Nick Kyrgios on Djokovic’s composure:
  “I actually felt like from a talent standpoint I was better...but I still lost. His ability to just stay composed and have faith in the body of work he’d put in...was the biggest separator.” (04:22, Nick Kyrgios)

• On Mental Health and Reaching Out:
  “The one thing I did that made it worse was block people out...As humans, that's not even how we're supposed to function.” (13:03, Nick Kyrgios)

• Tony Robbins on Investing:
  “Stop being a consumer and become an owner... Over time, if you’re a consumer, you lose.” (61:59, Tony Robbins)

• Jesse Itzler on Success:
  “Success is not about being good in one bucket. It’s about being good in all the buckets.” (80:15, Jesse Itzler)

• Ed Mylett on Environment:
  “Proximity is power. The most powerful force on earth is to be consistent and congruent with the expectations of our peer group.” (30:41, Ed Mylett)

• Damar Hamlin on Comebacks:
  “You can’t conquer the world in one day...go through the ugly phases and just continue to try to get better, one day at a time, one step at a time.” (49:00, Damar Hamlin)

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Important Timestamps & Segments

• [02:44] - Nick Kyrgios on the Wimbledon Final, mental vs. talent
• [07:23] - Nick’s struggles off the court, 2019 dark period
• [13:03] - Kyrgios’ mental health advice: Let others in, build small habits
• [21:54] - Nick on impact of sharing struggles
• [29:02] - Ed’s monologue on environment and evaluating your circle
• [46:52] - Damar Hamlin’s comeback, advice for setbacks
• [61:59] - Tony Robbins on investing and owner mentality
• [71:13] - Jesse Itzler on leaping into new spaces
• [80:15] - Success in all buckets, not just money
• [88:41] - Manny Khoshbin on practical steps for new entrepreneurs

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Episode Tone & Language

• Real, candid, motivational, unapologetically honest.
• Vulnerability and authenticity are embraced; guests speak openly about struggles, setbacks, and inner doubts, not just highlight reels.
• Advice is direct and pragmatic—emphasis on habits, environment, and relationships over cheap hacks.

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Takeaways for Listeners

• Success is driven by the people you surround yourself with and the standards they hold you to.
• Consistency, self-evaluation, and willingness to start before you’re “ready” are more important than raw talent or preparation.
• Vulnerability and authenticity—sharing your struggles—not only heals yourself but powerfully serves others.
• Setbacks, trauma, and mental health challenges are common even among peak performers. Small incremental steps, support systems, and accountability are key to recovery and growth.
• Invest in yourself continuously, become an owner not just a consumer, and be ready to seize opportunities when others retreat.
• Define success multidimensionally: in relationships, health, fulfillment—not just externally visible wins.

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To dive deeper and hear these stories and lessons firsthand, follow THE ED MYLETT SHOW on Apple and Spotify.

Transcript

[Ed Mylett]

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Hey guys, it's Ed. I rarely do this. As you know, 99.9% of my content is free. But once a year I do something where I gather a very small group of people in my house. I've done it for two years in a row now and I'm going to do it again this year. If you go to maxout2026.com, I'm going to do an experience in my home where I'm going to take you through how to make 2026 the best year of your life. All of the tactics and strategies that I use to plan and organize my own life in detail, same time, all of the mental rehearsal and visualization techniques that people pay me hundreds of millions of dollars a year to teach them.

I will be teaching that day as well. And the other years I've done it, I've had groups of about 25 or 30. I've decided this year I want to.

Shrink the size of the group so that I can get more one on one time with each of you. I'm going to keep the groups to 12 or 15. It's a chance to spend the day with me in my home. Lunch, one on one time and group time.

And it's not cheap.

So if it's something you can't afford, please don't get yourself in any financial trouble or debt doing so. But if it's something you can afford to do, go to maxout2026.com and and I'm looking forward to having you in my home with me very soon for.

An amazing day, a life changing day. God bless you.

[Tony Robbins]

This is the Ed Mylett Show.

[Ed Mylett]

Hey everyone.

Welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show.

Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett.

Show on Apple and Spotify.

Links are in the show notes.

You'll never miss an episode that way.

Here's our first guest.

All right, welcome back to the show everybody. So I'm so excited about today. This gentleman that we're going to visit with, to me, he may be the most fascinating athlete of my lifetime. He's a compelling figure. He's an interesting man. I'd call him, you know, on the surface, he's a very complex person. We'll see today when we talk with him. He's also, I would tell you, I think the most gifted tennis player that I've ever seen. Talented or gifted, but between the two, he can do things on a tennis court that almost no one who has ever lived has been able to do. And he's, he's going to be an interesting conversation today about success, about what really matters, mental health, performing under pressure, humility.

I think you're going to see a.

Side to him today if you're, if you're familiar with him that you've never seen before. Mutual friends of ours rave about him just as a human being. So, Nick Kyrgios, welcome to the show.

[Nick Kyrgios]

I appreciate that, Ed. Thanks for having me. I'm looking forward to it.

[Ed Mylett]

Oh, my man. So most of the people that watch my show, they may or may not know tennis. In fact, I bet 20% know tennis. But they're all people who, they're trying to make their dreams come true. They're trying to figure out how do they win, what really makes them happy. You know, would getting to the top of something truly make them happy? How do they get to the top? So let's, let's, let's unpack that for a minute. I'm curious as to your insights about this. So you referenced Djokovic, arguably the greatest ever. I'm a Federer guy. But like, you know, there's something about the mental toughness of Djokovic that strikes me. You know, he can be down two sets and to watch this guy come back and rattle off the next three sets like this guy's getting killed the first two sets. There's something about him. And I'm curious as your answer because you said a God like him. But I think most people would say talent wise, giftedness wise, you can hit shots that even he can't hit that you're that type of a, level of a physically gifted, talented.

So like, let's say someone's listening.

This is in sales right now. They're just really good at sales or they're really.

But is the separator, do you think.

Nick, when it under pressure is the love of the game, like when you're playing someone like that, what is the difference? He's reached a potential of the most majors ever. And that doesn't seem to have been a priority for you.

I'm just curious.

Your insight, like what is the difference between, you know, your level of love for the game potentially under pressure and his?

Do you feel it when you're playing.

Someone like that and what are your insights about that? If you're gonna give someone the lesson about passion to reach their full potential, what would you say?

[Nick Kyrgios]

Yeah, well, I mean, look, I mean we, me and Djokovic, we played on the biggest stage in the world. You know, we played on the center court of Wimbledon in the biggest, probably most historic and biggest event tennis has to offer. And I feel like the one thing in my, in my experience for about three and a half hours we were on court together was just his. I felt, I almost felt the consistency of his work over the course of his career. I felt like, and I didn't like, I felt like I actually like from a talent standpoint I was better at, than him at tennis that, that day, but I still lost. And I felt as if he didn't do anything unbelievably well that day. He just was super composed and he just, I could feel as if the whole lifetime of his work was, was involved in that match. You know, I won the first set and he didn't seem phased. And as you said, he's been thrown in so many different scenarios, pretty much every different scen he's been in and he's come out on top. So his experience, he's been in some like 30 Grand Slam finals where that was my first one. And I felt like his ability to stay in the moment and really trust the process of, you know, this, this hot headed Australians come out hot. But I've been here before and I've, I'm going to steady the ship and I put the consistent work in. I feel like that for me was the biggest difference. His ability to just stay composed and, and have faith in the body of work that he'd put in for, for two decades. So I feel like that was the biggest separator.

[Ed Mylett]

That's exactly why I love this man right there, you guys. What he just did, his level of honesty and frankly, humility. It's the thing about you that I didn't see on the surface when I'm like, this dude's cocky, he's out. And then as I've listened to you and some of our friends have told me, takes great humility to say what you just said, brother, because I know.

[Nick Kyrgios]

You'Re a competitor, you know, everyone kind of just sees what they see on the court. And I'm definitely, I'll be the first to admit, like I'M psychotic and I have an obsessed set like obsessive personality to win and, and, and to win dirty. Like I don't care. Like I was just taught in my, when I was upbringing like losing was not accepted at all. So it was just like you either win or you or you lose. There's no like good effort or anything. It's just so when I'm on court I'm two different people. I'm super competitive and I'm, I do twist the boundaries and I may cross the line on the court but off the court I don, like I'm like two different people. It's quite scary.

[Ed Mylett]

Do you saying there though if someone's listening. So like I'm get a lesson from a dude who's been at the top but maybe not quite reached his maximum potential yet is I want to make sure I understand what you said. Do you think that under pressure at the highest level of business or life that there's a confidence that came from a dude like him where I've put all this work in behind the scenes and maybe there's a part of you in your case where you're like I know he has. And maybe, yeah, I didn't. And so under pressure, I mean don't, don't let me speak for you. But under pressure, that, that was the confidence separator.

[Nick Kyrgios]

I, I definitely, definitely felt that.

[Ed Mylett]

Wow.

[Nick Kyrgios]

Like a Zinn. Yeah, I mean I put in the work. Like I was not athletically gifted at all from a young age. Like not at all. Like I was overweight and I constantly was felt insecure about, you know, my fitness levels when I was in the academy in Australia and I wasn't able to, you know, pass any fitness tests. So I knew that I worked extremely hard to get there. But I think what I was thinking about, like yeah, I, I, I was, there was a period of my life in 2019 where I, I was self harming and suicidal and I was partying a lot and I was drinking a lot and I was also competing at the highest level, you know, against, you know there was a night where I was out till 4am against Rafael Nadal and it was, it was a pretty dark time. So I felt like for me it was just a bonus to get to that point. Like to make the final of Wimbledon against, against Djokovic was like a bonus for him. It was just like I was just another ant like in his journey to chase a legacy and be one of the best players to ever live. Where for me like getting there was already the Bonus, you know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, everything after that year was just like, I made it out of that. Such a dark period of my life that now I'm like, I'm in the finals of Wimbledon. Like, this is what, like being, getting yourself out of a big mental struggle can. Can lead to where for him it was just like he was chasing like not every person and every athlete could be like the greatest of all time. That's just not how it works.

[Ed Mylett]

You're on the area. I want to go. I think this is the part of the interview, everybody, where you share it, what we're about to talk about. I think this is where Nick helps people in ways that most people don't give them enough credit for, which is I want to talk about mental health with you and pressure. So I watched that Netflix documentary you're in and I was surprised you did grow up as a chubby kid, right? Because I see this like, dude that's got swag, you know, he's got, he's got just this cachet about him Nick does. The way he moves, the way he talks. He comes across as unbelievably self confident person. And then as I dug into it, I'm like, wow. And by the way, correct me if I'm wrong about the severity of it, but I'd like you to speak to this for a minute. You actually have struggled with mental health to the extent where like you actually had an alcohol and drug thing you think you had going there for a while. Is it true that you actually played in Wimbledon after you had harmed yourself or you had to wear a wrap around your arm in a tennis match because there was some self harming going on? And what other things have you struggled with? Is that accurate, by the way? What I just said? That that is true?

[Nick Kyrgios]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Mylett]

That's amazing to me, bro. That's amazing. And the world did not know that was going on?

[Nick Kyrgios]

No, not at all. Yeah, that was the. That was the main thing. I felt like when I was playing like at the top of the sport and. And I guess living like an athlete should live at that point, no one really expected me to be going through that. So yeah, it was hard because I was covered. My right arm was covered on, like covered with it. And I was playing on center quarter we would against Rafael Nadal and I was like, I can't go out here with mom looking like this. So I wore like a sleeve to cover it all up. But yeah, like, it was just, it was such a hard process because I knew I was how I was feeling internally and I didn't want to play. And I knew that I was struggling. Even just to wake up and go outside was. Was a task. But then I had to like, kind of just. I had the avatar that I had to live up to as well on the other side of it where I had to go out there and play. And it was, it was, it was hard. Yeah, it was really, really hard.

[Ed Mylett]

Was there a part of you, brother, that you didn't want to be here anymore that you were suicidal?

[Nick Kyrgios]

Oh, definitely. Big time. I felt like no one. I mean, to this day, you know, people still only really want to talk to me because, you know, Nick Kyrios, the tennis player, the crazy guy who does all this crazy stuff, the talented person. And it took me a while to understand that that was just a vehicle and one way of communicating who I am as a person. And then I sit down and they get to meet me and it's. It's cool. But I really struggled with the fact that I felt like my. How I was all the time. Like 95% of time wasn't enough. It was like no one really gave a. About who I was and what I had to offer just as a normal human. It was only just about that. That guy that they saw on the court. And you know, my family started like, you know, we grew up in a. In a pretty quiet area in Canberra. You know, we weren't. We weren't rich at all. So it was like obviously when I started being successful, my. My family didn't really know how, you know, to. To approach things and how to handle things as well. So things got different in my family and it was just all bit like, it was all just a big curveball for me. Like I wasn't ready to handle that type of success in a way, and the fame. So I really struggled with it.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah, you know, I. I'm the blessing that I work with several athletes in different sports. Golf, mma, boxers, NFL, mlb. I just working with an MLB guy now. And I got to tell the audience this because Nick is not unique in this, that at the top of everything, even in business, the pressure that comes with that can create or exaggerate mental health issues for a lot of people. It really can. And I. Nick, I'm sure since you've shared this, you would privately, we would never say who, but I bet other athletes have told you they've struggled with it as well. Yeah. And it comes with. It comes with the pressure of doing something great. So a lot of people listening to this, even if they haven't done that yet, they're down right now. They're, they're, they feel isolated and alone or misunderstood or even invisible. Right. What would you say to somebody who's going through a time like that or has a loved one in their life who is going through. Which by the way, I think is the majority of people, not the minority of people. I think mental health is a crisis right now in the world today. What, what counsel words. Would you speak to somebody who's just, they're just not feeling very good right now?

[Nick Kyrgios]

Yeah, I mean, look, life, life's hard. It's actually is brutal. And I feel like the one thing I did that made it worse was, was block people out and try and do it on my own. I feel like as humans with that, that's not even how we're supposed to function. You know, I think, you know, I blocked out my family. I didn't, I was very short with my, with my good friends that genuinely cared about my well being and I tried to take it alone head on. And it, I just, it was like I was heading into a storm where it was never gonna, the outcome was never gonna be good. And I was in a psych ward in, in London and the, the day before I played Nadal and I was, they wanted me to be admitted, admitted into this place for a couple weeks. And I was like, I can't. I have to play Rafael Nadal in Wimbledon tomorrow. That's how bad it was. And then I proceeded to lose that match. It was very close. I nearly won somehow. And then, you know, I was partying for like three days straight and I was in bed and my dad sat next to me alone, crying, saying, I can't see my son like this anymore. Like, it was really bad. And then I basically just, I, you have to want to fix it. Like, I knew that it was an issue. I knew that I was causing stress on my family, my friends, everyone that cared about me. And I knew that I had to fix my habits. And it started with getting up in the morning, like something small, like going for a walk. Like, you know, just like really break it down into. How am I going to just change? It's not going to happen overnight. It took me, it took me two years to, to reach a level where I wanted to actually wake up early in the morning and go for a walk. Like, it didn't just happen overnight, but my fixing my relationship with my family, my friends, you know, I've got an incredible partner now. Who's super supportive of me. We have a great relationship. And it stemmed like I had. I was in a. My last relationship. My partner was so toxic. And that was also feeding into it. Like, you just. I can't put enough emphasis on the closest five people around. You have to be incredibly positive and want the best out of you. And they might make you feel uncomfortable sometimes in the sense, like, holding you accountable or like wanting you to improve to a sense of being uncomfortable sometimes. But those are the only people I have around me now. And if they see me slipping back into these habits of. Of doing some drugs or any of this type of stuff, like every now and then, like, they hold me accountable because I know that a personality like me can slip back into these dark habits, and it's not fun. So.

[Ed Mylett]

Wow, bro. I'm like, blown away. I. This is real. Just so you know, when tennis is over, this is your calling. Like, part of what you should be doing is this right here impacting people's lives. Because I don't know if you all under hear what he just said. He was in a psych ward the night before. He's playing Rafael the doll, like Rafa doll. That's insane to me. And so if he can come from where he did and make improvements. And by the way, I think you'd acknowledge this. I, by the way, have struggled with when to quit something I'm reading. I'm actually. I can't. I can't remember the title of the book, but I'm actually reading a book about right now. It's essentially, it's how do you know when to quit or quitting? And for me, it's physical health. I'm just doing too many things that have impacted my. My life physically to the point where something has to go away. Right? And this is in my life. I'm being real honest with everybody here today. And that's affected, you know, different areas of my life. I wonder if you've navigated that question, like, when is it okay to quit? You know, when is it okay to take a break? And how do you know that? And it's one of the great questions in life, you know, is that we're always climbing for more and more and more, and sometimes I think you have to audit whether your original dream is your dream anymore, you know, and if you're going about it the right way. I'm just curious your thoughts about that. You're smiling.

[Nick Kyrgios]

I mean, that's. That's. It's just like. I guess that's the common Kind of struggle that I guess you've dealt with it. I've dealt with it. And I actually asked, you know, Gary, this Jay Shetty, this Gordon Ramsay, all of these amazingly successful people that have insane work ethics, by the way, like, and I go to them. Do you ever just, like, sit back and. And actually just pause for a second and see what you've achieved and what you've done? And. And none of them, like, say, like, no, they just do it. And then they don't even, like, have time to appreciate what they do. They just go to the next thing and they do it. And I'm just like. And I sit there internally. I'm like, man, that's just like, when's enough enough? As in, like, you know, you've probably got enough money to be good for. For your future generation. It's just like, now, like, but you just. There's something inside you. I'm sure it's the same with you. You just want to, like, go to. You want to wake up tomorrow and keep going to the gym. Like, you want to stay motivated. And I just don'. If work life balance exists. Like, I don't have the answers for this question because it's like, the more successful or the more things I achieve or the more things I'm able to dabble in and I want to do more. And it's just like, I don't know. It's an addiction. I. I'm not sure I don't have the answers for it, so I can't help you with that one.

[Ed Mylett]

Well, I'm addicted to the expansion of my being. I. I'm addicted to the expansion of my being.

I think.

I don't even think you have to have the answer. The reason I asked it to you is I think it's powerful to ask yourself the question, though, and just contemplating in your life, you know, is this.

Where I want to be?

Is this what I want to continue to do? And I think that's a healthy thing. I think sometimes we think it's a weakness to ask, it's a weakness to inquire. I'm 53 years old. In a month. I've made, you know, lots of money in my life. I've had the ability to achieve a lot of different things.

[Nick Kyrgios]

Yeah.

[Ed Mylett]

There is a point in your life where priorities change, and it's just worth checking in with yourself. Are these still my priorities? I think is the question. And it's. It's different for every single person. And I wanted to ask you that today because it's something that I know a lot of people ask themselves. It's true in the relationship they're in. It's true in the business they've started. It could be in a sport that they're in.

I get asked this by athletes all.

The time, and you don't want to ever get outside of something and go, man, I could have gotten more out of that. I regret I didn't go a little bit more. Right. There's a part of me, though, that I've also struggled with. As I've climbed higher and higher, there's been a. I think I just. I'm the son of an alcoholic, and so I think I've always struggled with a little bit of imposter syndrome in the sense that I'm sort of. Do you.

[Nick Kyrgios]

Yeah, just like, I never. I never feel com. Like, I never feel like I'd. Like, it's very strange for me to even be talking to you or something. Like, I just. I don't feel as if I don't take myself seriously at all in the sense, like, I just. Yeah, I feel like every. Every time I'm in a room with someone that's, you know, have achieved something great or like, I don't feel like I deserve to be there either. I don't know. It's a weird feeling.

[Ed Mylett]

What do you think it comes from being a heavy kid? Do you think it's how you grew up?

[Nick Kyrgios]

Yeah, I think so. I mean, I. I just. The only reason I ever wanted to start playing tennis and. And become one of the best was just to show that an average person like me, like an overweight kid that lived in Canberra, Australia, was able to go out there and beat some of the greatest of all time. That's all I wanted to show. I just wanted to show that an average person, like, if you really just put your mind to something, you can. You can do it. That's it.

[Ed Mylett]

That was myself a little bit with that belief, Nick. Like, do you think there's been some sabotaging unconsciously that took place either way, whether your preparation or something on the court or just a thought when you're out there, if you're being honest, that affected your performance based on that imposter syndrome?

[Nick Kyrgios]

I. I think so. I think if I was a bit more, like, honestly, if I was a bit more selfish and I was a bit more, like, I guess, more orientated to doing the best for my career, my training, and not like, helping other people or being there for others as much, I definitely feel like I could have had Way more success in my career. But that success doesn't outweigh for me the success. Like yesterday, two days ago, I had a foundation day in my hometown and There was over 1,200 kids in my like tennis center that I grew up in. Like for me that success outweighs the success of winning a Grand Slam because, and being more selfish and being more like involved in my own career because one of the best things when I opened up about my self harming and my suicidal thoughts was the amount of people that messaged me on social media that I've, you know, got their numbers now, stay in contact with, I call them and it's like that for me has been the most powerful thing in my career. It's not about the trophies, it's about, and that's my point. I think that's the answer of why, when, when are we going to stop? When are we going to quit? I think you shouldn't because of all these things that you're doing and achieving and your platform and you're growing your being, you're, you're, you're just spreading your awareness of helping others. And I think that is for me, like that's what keeps me going, to be honest. Like me being able to show up for two hours at a tennis center and kids are going crazy and gets them to want to be active and play tennis and who cares about if they're good or not. It's the fact that they feel like they mean something for that little period of time.

[Ed Mylett]

I had Deion Sanders on a few weeks ago, Coach prime, and he was talking about a stage of his life where he was suicidal, believe it or not, maybe the greatest defensive player to ever play football. Right. And he was talking about, you know, he had, had, he had everything he wanted. He had a bunch of money. He had, Yep. You know, the mansion. He had this success. He had all these things and he said, and then I just was miserable and I said the power in sharing that. And this is a lesson for everybody. As I said, in life we're most qualified to help the person we used to be. And if you're willing to share, this is who I used to be or even I'm him sometimes still. But I'm in a, I'm a work in progress. Being willing to reveal your imperfections with people is what really connects with you. And to be honest with you, I'm a big fan of Federer. I'm a big fan. I loved Bjorn Borg when he played and, and you know, a huge tennis fan. But there's something about you and your vulnerability and your authenticity that connects me with you differently. That they're not. You're not Superman. You're a real man.

[Nick Kyrgios]

Yeah.

[Ed Mylett]

And, and, and to me that you've stumbling on to the greatest part of your life right now, bro. And the other people that are listening to this, if you're willing to be vulnerable and authentic with who you really are, whatever you, whatever you really believe in, whatever you really stand for, whatever your fears are, your weaknesses, your failures, your shortcomings, you're going to find that the more you reveal that the more you connect with people and the more.

[Nick Kyrgios]

That you can help them and the more you, you improve as well. Like, you improve. Like there's no, like, I, I go into places sometimes and I, I, the, the, the, the person I'm in the room with can be rich, powerful, whatever, famous, but they're not willing to even just admit where they have flaws. And, and I just know like he's stunting the growth of becoming more of, of who he is as a person. And I just like, I love it like when I'll be the first, like people think, like I love it for the first people think that I'm like super confident all the time. Like whatever, all these great things and I'm like, bro, they're like, that's not me at all. Like, I, this is what I'm good at. These are my points where I can improve on. And that's how you can, you just said that's how you connect with people. And that's why, that's why I love doing these things now. Because I think people are starting to understand that I'm completely different for how, you know, the image has been painted out for so long.

[Ed Mylett]

The thing that worries me is when you have somebody who's already struggling with their self belief. This is, this is you here. I want you to talk about this. So you're already struggling. Like when I was coming up in business, I already, my main struggle was working on me to the point where I believed in myself enough so that I could achieve. I always say that your, your identity. And I've watched this with you, brother. I think you relate to this. Your identity, your self worth, the things you really truly believe about yourself. It's like a thermostat setting on your life. So like in the theater right now, in my studio, it's, it's 72 degrees in here. And what happens in life that if your results start to heat up past what you believe in yourself so you get 80, 90, 95, you subconsciously turn the air conditioners on of your life and cool it back down to what you believe you're worth. And I really believe in your case, like, this is a man with 150 degrees worth of ability and potential. But there's this kid in there still that sometimes is at 72 and 75 degrees and that thermostat setting comes back on. So I spent most of my time working on that. I still work on it. And when you lump onto that person who's already struggling, so it's a lot of people listening to this. They're already struggling with their self belief. And then they have criticism in your case, like flat out haters. So that combination is like, for me, coming up, it was the worst possible comment. I'm already trying to increase my thermostat setting. I'm not one of these naturally confident guys. Right. So I'm already working on that.

And then you heap on to me.

Some form of criticism. It was like massively difficult combination for me.

[Nick Kyrgios]

Yeah.

[Ed Mylett]

And then in your case, it's public criticism.

[Nick Kyrgios]

So it's, how do you, how do.

[Ed Mylett]

You deal with that, brother?

Because you're already struggling internally as this guy who's like, man, I'm this heavyset kid. I'm from a regular place, I'm an average dude. And then now there's criticism and haters. Educate us on how you have tried to deal with that and what advice you would give to any human being who's dealing.

It might even just be their boyfriend or girlfriend.

Like, you can't do this. What's wrong with you?

[Nick Kyrgios]

Why are you trying to change? Yeah, it could be family, could be anyone close to you. I mean, like, I don't think my family genuinely believed that I was going to be one of the best tennis players in the world. From like, just. I don't think it's realistic. Like, they weren't programmed to think like that. And that's why you, myself, we do achieve because there's a part of us like, oh, what if, like, what if we do push the boundaries a little bit? What if we do, you know, ask the question. But I mean, this in this day and age for me is, is very hard because, like, I'm a bit old school in the sense, like social media and all of these things that are happening now, like, for me, like, like all, like, I wake up and I can go on my Instagram and I see thousands of negative comments and like, I don't really take them personally, but subconsciously they're going into my head. And when things get tough, like when I'm about to do this gym session, like in here, it's like we go to the point of failure. It's like I start thinking about, oh, like am I this? Am I this? Like, and it beats you down so much. Like that's what I struggled with in 2019. Like it got to a point where I actually started believing these comments and then I started hating myself. And like I was waking up in Shanghai playing a tournament at like 3pm I played night and I would literally was waking up to like alcohol. Like I wasn't even drinking. Like it was just to the point of like I hated myself. And I started just believing all these people. I didn't even know what these people look like, but I started believing the comments. And now I, I have to seriously like every day really invest in just like not feeding into and not even trying to read it and just trying to like self affirmations, like trying to tell myself like I'm a good dude. Like I'm, I train hard. Like I've really put an effort in that. And people maybe watch this and say like I'm not going to do that. But it goes such a long way. But now I wake up, I try and like, you know, just like have just positive words because words, words are, words can kill, can kill people in this day and age. That's how brutal it is. Like I've seen people like, like commit suicide just because of what someone said to them and, and, and, and, and what they see on social media and this, all this comparison and it's, it's, it's really bad.

[Ed Mylett]

By the way, I want everyone to hear that words can kill people. I could tell you definitively in my work because of all the messages that I get from different people around the world. That is a fact. Please extend more kindness to one another. Please be careful of heaping criticism on to somebody deserving or undeserving. You could be contributing to something so harmful in somebody's life. And I, I, I strongly urge everybody just to extend a little bit more grace and a little bit more kindness to people. Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. We have all the links in our show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Now on with the show.

So I get asked all the time, how in the world did you go from having no running water in your.

Apartment to living on the water, to.

Living oceanfront, to have another home that's lakefront. How does somebody go from changing their conditions that dramatically in a pretty short window of time? And a lot of different things went into that. A lot of it was blessing, a lot of it was a lot of hard work, all kinds of mental changes that I made. But there's one area that I've not.

Talked a lot about that I want.

To cover today that I think you need to know if you want to.

Change the conditions of your life that way as well.

So when the water got turned off, you know what I had to do? I had to look around my life. I really had to take an inventory, not just of me, but what was around my life. And the fact of the matter was I did not have the right people in my life.

I didn't have the people who believed in me.

I didn't have the people who supported my vision. I didn't have people who made me want to be better in my life. I had a few, but I didn't have enough. I had too many people in my life that have just always been in my life. They always accepted me for who I was. And that acceptance, that lack of belief in me, that lack of standard got me all the way to where I.

Couldn'T even pay a water bill.

I didn't even have a car, nevermind electricity for a while. And so it's very dangerous. It was very dangerous for me for who I allowed just to support my limiting thinking, who I had around me. They weren't bad people. There's very few bad people. They just weren't people who were going to get me going in my life where I knew I needed to go.

Where I was born to go.

I had read all the books on personal development. I learned about influence, kind of learned how to change my state, how to think differently. Been to a lot of the events that you go to. Why is it that so many people go to all these self improvement, personal development, business events? They get all excited when they're there, they're ready to conquer the world, then they get back home and life very slowly starts to drift back to normal. And that's because environment overrides almost everything in our lives.

That's why.

And so the reason you're so excited when you're at the event, the reason you're ready to conquer the world is the environment supports what you're doing. And so I had to start to address my environment. And environment is all the place you are. But most Importantly, your environment is the people that are around you. Because write this down. Number one in our lives, the most powerful force that I'm aware of in the world is to be consistent and congruent with the expectations of our peer group. Let me say that to you again. The most powerful force on earth is we become consistent with the expectations of our peer group. You're going to get out of life what the people around you expect of you. And so I had to begin to address who were the people around me and specifically what was the environment that I was in. Because, number two, proximity is power. The closer somebody is to you, the more influence they have over you. That's why your personal relationship that you're in is something that must be evaluated at all given times. And people ask me, how do I get more spouse support or partner support, boyfriend or girlfriend support? I don't know that you're always going to get more support. And I don't even know that that's needed. But one thing that's a foundation of all relationships is, does this person believe in me? Most people love us. That's one thing. If we're in a relationship, we kind of feel a level of love. But the deeper question is, do they truly believe in me? And when I started to evaluate my friends that were around me, if I asked myself, were they supporting where I wanted to go in my life, not that they didn't love me or like me. In fact, what most of us do is we love to have people around us who accept us. We say, I want people to accept me as I am. And there's a benefit to that. There's a huge negative as well. If people are constantly accepting this version of you, there's. There's nothing compelling you to go to the next version. There's no stimulus that says, I better change. There's no discomfort because these people closest to us, their proximity has influence over us. So, number one thing I want you to ask yourself is, do the people around me believe in me? And if they don't, that needs to be evaluated. People say, well, then what do I do? Do I get rid of them? Well, maybe in some cases, I mean, if they're antagonistic to you, certainly. But what you have to do is begin to add people in your proximity who do believe in. In you or who will believe in you. And if they don't believe in you, perhaps they don't need to be eliminated from your life. But one thing you may need to do is start to reduce their proximity to you. Maybe they're not as close to you as they used to be. I've had to do that many times in my life where I've had to eliminate a few people from my life, but very few. This is so critical to you becoming successful because your environmental game is more important even than your mental game because it's what supports it. And so I want you to evaluate a few things. Do they believe in me? Number two, are they a past or future reference type friend? In other words, when you're around them, what do you find yourself talking the most about? Is it the past or the future? I want to be around people who are constantly talking about either the present, but most importantly, the future. In other words, I want people who are present with me so that when they're with me, we're together. You know, you have those friends, too, are constantly not present even though they're in your presence. We don't want that either. But if people are constantly taking me in the past, frame of reference, old stories, old things. Remember when high school, college, previous date, previous vacation, previous business. Remember when constantly, you know, they're just always reminiscing. Or are they projecting me into the future? If at least 75% of your conversations aren't about the future with the people that you're around, these are not people supporting your future. They're supporting your past. They're reinforcing your past. The more we talk about something, the more we reinforce its importance in our life. And so this is a very subtle thing, and I think even as I say it, you're going, whoa, they do love me. I think they might believe in me, but man, we talk about the past all the time. Well, this is somebody who's going to reinforce that state of your life. You need to add people to your. Your proximity who are discussing the future with you. You know, you've heard about triggers before where you can learn in personal development that, you know, you snap your fingers, you put yourself in a state, or you walk, you hear a song. It's a trigger, isn't it? You hear a song from some point in your life, it triggers a memory or a song you love right now, it triggers you wanting to work out or move your body. So things are triggers. People are also triggers. And if there are people in your life, just by their proximity, trigger event that are prior in your life that didn't serve you just by being around them, they're a trigger. Humans are triggers. Do you have people that just when you see them, they trigger peace for you? They trigger joy they trigger abundance, they trigger competing, they trigger intensity, they trigger belief, they trigger confidence, they trigger your desire to grow. Ask yourself what triggers these people are in your life? What do they trigger in you? And you begin to, you be. Start to look at these things. You're going, wow. We have this group of friends who they accept me, but I don't know if they believe in me. Then I've got this other group of friends where they believe in me, but we're always talking about the past. And then you know what, they kind of trigger these states of sort of comfort or average in me. Who do I have that's triggering my desire to grow? Who makes me uncomfortable? Who do I have? Like I kind of clean up the house before they come over. Who do I have where I get excited when I say see them? Because not every conversation is the same. I don't know where it's going to go. You should have those people that accept you in your life. There's nothing wrong with that. It's an important thing. But you should have these other people who really don't accept this version of you. They believe in you so greatly, so much that they don't accept this version of you. They don't accept this performance from you. They don't accept this level of happiness, abundance, joy, performance from you because they know how much more you're capable of. Who do you have like that in your life? And the reason that that matters so deeply for us is because, and I want you to write this down, we get our standards in life. We don't always get our goals. We don't always even get what we focus on. We end up ultimately getting what our standards are. Standards dictate everything in life and the people around us help create that standard. For example, I was at a birthday party last night and people sitting around me were all very fit people. And dessert came, it was birthday cake time. And I probably normally would have probably had that piece of cake. But the first three people that were asked have this standard for how they eat in their life and when their cheat days are, their cheat meals are. And all three people passed on it. And immediately, almost through peer pressure, I went, no, I'll pass too. And then my buddy goes, dude, it's okay, have a piece. And I said, no, no man, it's good. That standard on alters us in every little area. Now that's an obvious example. But we're going to get our standards, our standards of wealth, our standards of faith, our standards of abundance, and the people in our proximity Help set the standard based on what theirs are in their life. So the people around you evaluate next, what are the standards they help you set in your life? The other thing we win with is energy. And so ask yourself this, is this person in my life an energy giver or an energy drainer? This is massive. So when you're talking to them, do they feed you energy? You know, there's that one number where it shows up on your phone and you're like, oh, right, you know that conversation, that text is going to be an energy drain. This person's proximity to your life is stealing some things from you. I'm not saying you shouldn't have people in your life who you're supporting and you're helping, because we're going to talk about that next. But if, if the vast majority of people around you are energy neutral or energy drainers, what do you think that's doing to your environment that you're supporting yourself with? Okay. Or on the contrary, is this someone who gives you energy, feeds your energy, feeds your belief, makes you stronger, gives you that juice in your life? Because all of these things, these people around us, all these evaluations, they're creating our environment so that it'll support our thinking, it'll support the changes we're making, it'll support, support our goals. This is supported by scripture as well. Proverbs 27:17. As iron sharpens iron, so does one person sharpen another. And so one of the obvious questions about this is if someone is lower energy for me or is a past reference person or a trigger that doesn't support me, or they don't believe in me, or they only accept me as I am. If you have some of these issues, what do you do with them? I'll give you three things, not only you just eliminate people from your lives. It's not that hard to core a thing because this is more about adding the right people than it is eliminating people. But it is reducing their proximity. And so I think with people in your life that aren't supporting you the way you want to, number one, I would recommend you be kind to them, be kind in your conversations with them. You don't have to become mean to them or adversarial to them. And I don't even think you need to let them know this. Number two, I think you need to be cordial. But I will tell you that you begin to become three, which is concise. Your dialogue with them begins to be concise. Their proximity to you begins to shrink. And these are things people Say, gosh, that's so difficult. Well, do you want to be happier? Do you want to win? I mean, you've already tried the other things, right? You've already started to write goals down. You're already working on yourself. You already got some habits that you're working on. Maybe this is the area. Perhaps this is the area. Those of you that have children, this is an audio or video they should be watching or listening to their school teachers, influence them. That's their mentors. That's the, like what we're doing right now, right? But who really has influence over your children? Who really sculpts who they are? It's their friends and it's their closest friends. That's why parents guard those associations so vigilantly. The good parents do, because they know the proximity of these kids around their children are going to influence ultimately who they become. Our lives begin to have a pace that's different than when we're young. But the same exact thing is true for us. These people closest to us dictate who we become. It's not our mental towards like our school teachers. They have some influence. I have influence, hopefully with you, but not the same as the people that you're texting with when you're done listening this. Not the same as who you're having dinner with tonight. Not the same as who you have lunch, who you're around at work, who you're around in the evening, who you socialize with, right? They have the greatest form of influence over you. Because in your life, you're trying to build this library of memories, aren't you? And in your mind right now, these memories are going to be different. They're different places, different experiences, different things, right? Different moments, different achievements, different breakthroughs, different feelings. With the same people, with the same people, with the same people. You are likely to build the same types of memories over and over again. So if you love your life right now, if everything in your life is rich and you don't want it to change and you don't want it to grow, and you'd like to keep repeating these memories you're getting now, well, then by all means, keep these people very close to you and add people as you go. But if there's this party that I want to change the memories, I don't want the next 10 years of my life, the feelings, the experiences, the accomplishments, the places I see, moments I have. So all I'm asking you to do today is do an audit on your environment. I want you to audit the people around you. In your environment and the things around you and whatever. What do you have around you in your environment? Are your goals up on a board? Do you have visualizations? Are you reading things that you can see visually in your life? Are you listening to the right things? These are all part of your environment. But the most important thing are the people that are inside that environment that are around you. And so that's how you eliminate. Now, adding people to your life, the best way to do that is to seek out, go to places where they are. So I mean, where do they have lunch, where do they have coffee? Where do they work out? Where do they worship? Go to the places where these people that you think could help you to become good friends and just become a part of that environment. And the more you're in the environment, you'll end up meeting people. It's a strategy, it's work to add people to your life. I could tell you that I work very hard at this. I also believe in the law of reciprocity. You don't just ask somebody to be your friend. You find a way that you can contribute. You want to become a friend of mine, say, how can I help you? How can I serve you? Just offer whatever you have. You say, well, I don't have anything to offer people. You'd be surprised. Could you offer me your belief in me? Could you offer me your truth? Could you offer me your prayers? Could you offer me your support? These are real gifts you give people. Not all of them need to be knowledge and breakthroughs and an example and a track record. You'd be surprised someone like myself, what just your belief means to me, your support means to me. And I'm the type of person, the people you want in your life. When I feel like you've given me something, I feel obligated, obligated to pay you back even more. And so the way you add people to your life is with the law of reciprocity. Put yourself in environments where they are and begin to offer your belief, your kindness, your support, your love. Maybe it is your collaborations, maybe it is your connections, maybe it is a talent or skill you have. But it doesn't have to be those things. When I was a young person, I ended up adding people to my life that were much more successful than me, much more well known than me. But you know what? As I got to know them, I think they sense this person truly believes in me, they truly care about me. This is a real friend. You have those people in your life as well, where they don't Necessarily have all the experience to support you, but they really believe in you, they really love you. And then the last thing I want to ask you today is because for you to add these people to your life, what I just said is the most important thing. How do you show up in people's lives? How do you show up in people's lives? Right now, are you that person that's an energy giver or drainer? Are you a future frame of reference or the past? Do you help your friends set high standards or the acceptable standards they already have?

Right.

Are you someone who deeply believes in people and they know it, or you just kind of accept them as they are? These are the things you begin to ask of. How are you showing up in other people's lives? Because that'll have an awful lot to do with who shows up in your life. How do you show up in other people's lives? And if you begin to evaluate these things, your environment slowly but shift, surely will begin to support your mental game, will be supported by your environmental game. And why is that so important? Because I want to remind you about something. You were born to do something great with your life. You were put here to do something special all your life, since you were a little boy or a little girl, there was some point in your life where you knew you were supposed to do something great, that you were put here for a reason, that you've got a calling, that you've got a home in your life. You're eventually going to find where you're living the real, true, authentic version of you, your best version. You know, you're supposed to do something great with your life. And right now, if you're listening to this or you watch this, maybe you're not quite there yet. And maybe it's your thinking, maybe it's some tactics and strategies and habits which I cover all the time on this show. Maybe it's all the mental stuff, but more than likely it's the environmental stuff. It's the standards, it's the people around you that believe in you. It's not just having people that accept you because you want to do something so great with your life. I have this theory that many of you heard that when I die someday, I believe I want the Lord to say, well done, good and faithful servant. But I have this hallucination, as many of you know, that when I die, the Lord's going to do that. And he's going to turn around and say, eddie, I want you to meet the man I made you to be. When I made you in my image and likeness. This is the destiny version of you. This is the man you were born to be. And that guy is going to be standing there, and I want to meet him and go, I've been chasing you all my life, man. And he's going to say, boy, you caught me. You did it. I'm proud of you. You had all the memories, all the moments, all the contribution, all the feelings, all the difference, all of it in your life. You made it all happen. You became the man you were born to be. We're identical twins. To me, that's heaven. When I pass away, heaven is, I meet the man I was born to be, and we're identical twins. Hell would be that you'd meet that person, and you're total strangers. You're total strangers. That woman. Someday when you die and you meet the woman you could have been, and you're total strangers. You went down different paths, different roads, different decisions your entire life, and you never become that woman. You never become that man. To me, that's hell. So if it's that important to you, that you've always known, maybe it got buried as you got older. Maybe life sort of kicked us around a little bit to where not everyone in our life believed it. And then maybe our parents, our friends, our school teachers just. Life started to happen and we forget who we are. We forget who we are. And you know why you forget who you are? Because of the people that have been in your damn life. Because they haven't supported that great version of you. When you were really little, you knew it, you felt it, because you were closer to God at that time. And the more and more people were added to your life, they began to treat you in such a way that they didn't expect those things of you. And maybe you started to accept that. So if it's people that created these limiting beliefs, created this anxiety, created this fear, created this thing about us where we forget our greatness, if it's people who did this to us, it's people who are going to help us get out of it. If it's the environment that stole this joy, stole this belief, stole this confidence from us, stole this sense of purpose from us and passion, it's the environment that'll give it back to us again. And we put the people in our lives that we deserve to have.

Not just that, have always been there. Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify links are in the show Notes. Now on to our next guest. All right, welcome back to the show, everybody. So the man that we're going to talk with today is a very important man to me. There are not five people on planet Earth that I would rather speak to today than this young man. And my dream list for people that would be on this podcast, he is at the very, very top of the list because he's a story of resiliency, faith, strength, comeback. And you all know his story. On January 2, 2023, with about 5 minutes and 58 seconds left in the game against the Cincinnati Bengals, my dear friend here tackled wide receiver. T. Higgins, was running with the ball. He hit Demar and in the chest with his helmet, and demar made the tackle as he always does, and he got up after that tackle, stood up for a second, and then collapsed on the field. And in that moment, our country was captivated, and literally hundreds of millions of people were in prayer for this precious young man. I don't know that I've ever said this and meant it more. I am so grateful that you are here today, and welcome to the show. Damar Hamlin. Good to have you here, brother. So somebody who's going through, they're on the bottom right now, right now in their life, they're like, man, I'm. I'm. I'm down right now. You know, I just. Nothing's working out. You know, I. My business just failed, or I just broke up with my relationship, or, man, just. Nothing I've done's been clicking for years. I don't feel good about myself. I'm down. And this may sound like an interesting metaphor, but they need sort of a life version of CPR to get back up again. They need some life breathed back into them, literally. What would you say to somebody who's just down right now and wants to make a comeback? What would you say to that person who's struggling with that right now?

[Damar Hamlin]

First thing I would say is, man, you can't. You can't conquer the world in one day. So, you know, just take yourself out of that big perspective and see how you can take one step and put the right foot in front of the left foot. You know, something I've heard a while is you can't sit in the pool of pity, you know, so even when you feel that feeling of, you know, you want to harp on your. Your situation or your circumstances too much, get up and move. Like, literally, I mean, get up and move, you know, so you can get yourself out of the feeling before you get sunk too deep into it. That's the first way, I would say, just, you know, to deal with the emotions that come off of your situation. Don't allow yourself to sit in it, get up and move, and don't think you can. Just know that you can't conquer the world in one day. So wherever it is you want to be, you know, you got to take it step by step, one day at a time. You know, I knew that I had to take a step by step, one day at a time. I couldn't worry about, you know, trying to suit up and play in the playoffs again, or I would have drove myself crazy. Literally, I would have drove myself insane. I had to know that it's going to be a journey. And even through this season that I just went through, I. You know, people deal with ACLs and don't come back in the time period that I did or any other injuries that don't come back in the time period that I did. So I know it's going to be a journey. Even when some people return off the ACLs, they're not. They're not their same selves that first season out their back. They need time, they need steps. They got to put the right foot in front of the left and they got to walk the journey. They got to go through the ugly phases. You know, I feel like I just went through an ugly phase this whole season, you know what I mean? But I'm super proud of myself, you know, so go through the ugly phases. Don't be afraid of it. Embrace it. That's the big. That's the biggest part of it all. Focus on taking one foot in front of the right. Go through the ugly phases and just continue to try to get better one day at a time, one step at a time. And write down what you feel is necessary to accomplish what you want to get done and then follow it. Make no negotiations with yourself whenever you set the plan out. Like, if you say you're going to do certain things at certain times or with certain people, make sure you do them. You know what I mean? Hold yourself to a different standard and accountability so that you can get out of your situation, you know, you can't get out of a situation doing the same things that put you into the situation. So, you know, that's. That's like insanity doing the same things and expecting different results, you know, and I'm kind of. I'm kind of, you know, preaching that message to, you know, a lot of my personal friends in my life. You know, who are. No, they complain about certain things or they bring certain things to my attention, and then, you know, they keep doing the same things. You know, I'm at the point where it's like, you know, if you're gonna keep dealing with the same certain type of things, don't even tell me because, like, don't. Don't sit up here and just waste all my time when you okay with accepting the same things. I got you where you are. If you want to get yourself to a different situation, you gotta do different things to get different results. Yeah, that's my tell you perspective on it.

[Ed Mylett]

That's so good. I. Brother, I'm just sitting here going, you got to be kidding me. This is so good. You know what you are? You're a great perspective giver. Just you who you are. I got to tell you, today was a particularly not great morning for me. And I was talking to my daughter, and I said, she goes, how you doing today, daddy? I said, I'm. I'm not having a great morning, Bella. I'm not having a good day. And then we hung up, and I was kind of just re. I've been so excited about this interview for so long. It's kind of like re. Preparing a little bit. And then I literally said to myself, I just. Everybody hear this for whatever you're going through.

I said, really?

You're not having a great day compared to what the day Demar had on January 2, 2023, in that moment, that's a bad day compared to me. I'm at a couple meetings, not go the right way, right? And this man was in front of millions of people, literally fighting for his life.

[Nick Kyrgios]

Does.

[Ed Mylett]

Does it give you a perspective, brother?

Like, when you're having what was used to be a bad day, you're like, well, not compared to, like, Compared to what? Right? Do you ever have that thought? Does it give you perspective on that, man?

[Damar Hamlin]

Every day.

[Ed Mylett]

Every day.

[Damar Hamlin]

To be honest, you know, there's no day where I can, you know, allow myself to get too low anymore because, you know, I have the appreciation of life, you know, so no matter what's going on in life, just to still be here is a blessing because we all know some people who are not, and we all wish that we could have some people still with us. So no matter my situation, I'm able to allow myself to appreciate something. You know, it's hard to appreciate everything, you know, especially when, you know, for the people that are listening, especially when, you know, you're going through situations where Your emotions are rising and, you know, you. You're feeling whatever you're feeling the most. But I'm always able to. To bring myself to appreciate at least one thing, no matter what it is. No matter if it's the ability to still play football, because that could have been taken away from me. No matter if it's, you know, just appreciating family. My little brother, my mom, my dad, you know, no matter if it's just, you know, appreciating a deep breath, man, or appreciate wherever I am in the world, you know, if I'm in California, if I'm in at home, if I'm anywhere in the world, you know, I always bring myself to find at least one thing that I can appreciate. And it shapes your perspective differently. It really does.

[Ed Mylett]

Wow, brother, I love you. I'm. Two things. I got one last question. One, I'm grateful for you.

[Damar Hamlin]

You as well. I thank you for this. This was therapy.

[Ed Mylett]

Good.

Well, me too. And millions of people. The second thing is I just, as a brother, I'm proud. I'm. Shoot, I'm getting. I'm just very proud of you. Very proud of you. You're. You're remarkable. All right, a football question. Because they'll be pissed if I don't ask. So are you free agent?

[Damar Hamlin]

No.

[Ed Mylett]

Okay, so you're under contract?

[Damar Hamlin]

Buffalo Bills. I'm a Buffalo Bill.

[Ed Mylett]

Okay, because.

Because I read something today, Bill's Mafia. I read something today. You know, I'm gonna ask you about. They were like, hey, I wouldn't mind ending my career playing for the Steelers, right? Is that an accurate quote? Like, I just make you awkward. I asked you, I didn't push you too hard on what happened on the field. So I gotta, like, is I. People want to know what's gonna happen with this young man. So we know you're. You're a Bill, but is there a little party of you eventually would love to finish up with the Steelers or you want to be a Bill for life?

[Damar Hamlin]

I want to be a Bill for life. You know, that's the team I truly took a chance on me and gave me opportunity, you know, to show what I can do, you know, I'm a late round draft pick. Throughout the whole entire draft, you know, I watch my name sit as the first name to best taken, you know, for like two, three rounds, you know, And I'm just like, will I ever get my opportunity? You know, I knew I had what it takes, you know, but you know, opportunity, like preparation doesn't always meet opportunity. I was Prepared, but I didn't know if the opportunity was there. Income. So, you know, the Bills, when they selected me, you know, I was, I was. I felt so blessed, you know, and I didn't know anything about Buffalo. I didn't know anything about Bill's mafia at the time. But, you know, it didn't take long for me to. For them to show me who exactly who they were. And you know, for me personally, and then doing my research as well, just seeing how they treated their players, how they treat other players on other teams, you know, like donated $80,000 to other people's team, like to other teams, foundations, like it was, it was just unbelievable of like the support that Bill's mafia has for the players of the Buffalo Bills. So first and foremost, I want to clear all ear. I want to be a Buffalo Bill for life because that's the team that took a chance on me when I answered that question, you know, I answered it from the perspective of, you know, a childhood perspective, you know, a kid that, you know, grew up his entire life. Like I told you, man, I had the dream for a long time. I had the dream for a long time, you know, just making it to the NFL and just being able to have an opportunity to, you know, take care of my family and give back to my community. Something that I didn't have as a kid growing up, you know, so that was always my driving force. But, you know, as a kid, you know, like playing the game, I always created myself as a Steeler and I always, you know, played the game like that just as a kid. So the question they asked me, I answered it from a childhood perspective. And then I also answered it from the perspective of, no, I don't want to play for the Steelers right now because I'm a Buffalo Bill, you know what I mean? Like, I'm still under contract with the Buffalo Bills. And then on top of that, and then on top of that, you know, I spent five years at the University of Pittsburgh and I shared the facility with the Steelers. That's how I built a close relationship, you know, with them. And then, so that's college. Five years and then four years of high school where we had championship games at, you know, the stadium. So, you know, I've had my fair share of time there. How I answered the question was.

[Ed Mylett]

It.

[Damar Hamlin]

Would more so be a dream to finish career than to be playing now. You know, and I'm. And I say that I said that lightly because, you know, you see players all the time who have career. They'll have like a 8, 10 year career with this team, and then they'll go play for this team for X amount of time, and then when they finally retire, they'll go sign that $1 contract with the team that they felt most connected to and then retire with that team. Right. You know, so, you know, it was. It was a lightly answered question that kind of like super stirred up social media. But to be honest, you know, even through all the chaos of it that it caused, I'm just super excited to finally see people excited to see me play football again.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah.

[Damar Hamlin]

You know what I mean? That was a great feeling. That above all else, you know, above all the chaos it might have caused, that was just a great feeling. You know what I mean? I dealt with so much, you know, controversy and, you know, like just craziness all year long. Just. It just if, if I needed to, if I needed to be playing, if I was just all of a sudden just this trash player, if I just was never good at football and I'm only famous for one thing and this and that, you know, so I went through a whole year of that, you know, and, you know, just chirping, you know, I don't allow none of that to enter my inner matrix. But, you know, it was super exciting to see people, you know, excited to see me play football again. So, like, no, it turned me up a little bit, man. It made me harder in the gym. It made me go harder in the gym those days because, you know, I'm excited for them to see what I got in the tank, too.

[Ed Mylett]

That was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Here's an excerpt I did with our next guest. Hey, welcome back to the show, everybody. So listen, if you listen to this show, you listen to this show because you want to have a happier, more fulfilling, more successful life, more than likely. And I have as a guest here today for the third time on my show, I'm so honored.

The living.

Of all the living people on the planet, the person who's helped the most people do that about that the billions of people on this planet and that have lived for the last, you know, 60 years. This man's helped more people have happy and fulfilling and successful lives than any other person, including me. And I'm honored to call him a friend. So welcome back. We're gonna do that together today. Mr. Tony Robbins, welcome back to the show.

[Tony Robbins]

Thanks, brother. Good to see you, Ed.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah. You too, man. So you are the person in per people. Ask me, what have all the people on your show have in common? I was just saying this to someone last night because they knew you and I were going to be talking. I went in this restaurant, sit down. The guy just listened to my interview with Rob Dyrdek and he goes, I just love your show. I love the people. I love Rob, he's such a great guy. He loves you. And we were, you know, commiserating back and forth. And he goes, what's one of the common things I said? Well, I'll tell you one of the odd things I said. I'm actually interviewing Tony again tomorrow. And I said one of the things that they all have in common because some of them are smart. Some of them are so smart. Some of them are disciplined. Some of them are. They're athletes, entertainers, business people, you know, people every day in their life that have changed their life. I said, most of them have been impacted by Tony Robbins one way or the other. Almost every single one of them. And so you have helped so many people. But a few years back you decided, hey, I'm going to grow me. And you really invested a lot of yourself into. You had coached, I know you raised been a friend and you'd coached Tudor Jones for a while, but you went to the financial space.

[Tony Robbins]

Yeah.

[Ed Mylett]

And I thought that took some guts.

Quite frankly, because you could have just.

Stayed where you were known. I know in your businesses you've done and things, but the public you is the stuff we've talked about so far. But now based on this winter we're in. I'm so grateful you went there on, you know how to protect or grow your money financially. So I think I'd mess today's podcast up if I didn't ask you that about this time as well. People wondering what you would tell them to do in terms of their finances right now. You have any advice for that for people?

[Tony Robbins]

Well, yeah, I think. I think the biggest mistake is to pull back right now. That doesn't mean that you put all your money in the stock market. You know, you really. I'm not going to tell people what their asset allocation should look like. They really want to do their homework. I hope you'll read maybe Money Master the Game or unshakeable. I wrote two books where I interviewed 50 of the smartest people in the world. The Ray Dalios, the Carl Icahns, the Warren Buffett's Paul Tudors. And I've coached Paul tudor for almost 30 years. So these are the most successful people in history. That's who you want to learn from. And what I want to see is they're all different, but what were the common patterns of what they did? And even though they had different approaches, those common patterns were there. That's why those books became so successful. But I think what you have to look at today is, number one, you got to invest in yourself, just like we talked about earlier. You got to make you more skilled and more powerful and more effective so that you can command more going forward economically. So whether there's inflation or not, it doesn't affect you. And because there's going to be inflation for probably a period of time here, we're going to see a tough environment. The second thing is to keep feeding your mind and your emotions so that you don't freak out like everybody else. Then the third thing is you do have to get in the game. You know, it's like the first thing you should do is stop being a consumer and become an owner. I mean, you and I both know that's not what most people are. If you own an Apple phone and you don't own Apple, that's a giant mistake. I'm not saying Apple, this price or that price. It's just over time, if you're a consumer, you lose. There's so many kids today that think socialism is going to be a really cool thing. And it's because they've never been to Venezuela, which I have, or I was there in the Soviet Union when it was still the Soviet Union. I was invited over. During that time, I spent almost a month in the Soviet Union. It made me a capitalist because everybody's supposed to be equal.

[Damar Hamlin]

Comrades.

[Tony Robbins]

It's total bullshit. I'm on this. On this train with all these scientists. They brought me because of the firewalk and things. They wanted to study what I was doing. And I'm watching us. Every city we land in and we get off the train, because I went literally from Moscow to Siberia and back, the entire country. And we're having on, you know, on the train, you know, all the Soviets that are with us, they're having caviar and champagne. And then we stop in every city and there's a main area where people got their milk and their bread, and it's got lines literally for almost a mile. People standing in the frigid cold so I could get a quarter of a loaf of bread and a half a quart of milk. And I was like. It made me angry to hear these bullshit stories about equality because it never works that way. What happens? There's a power structure. And so people today, kids, it's our fault because they don't participate in free enterprise. They had someone else take care of them, in some cases, for a certain period of time. And they've gone to school, and so they don't understand that life is calling you to find a way to add value, to do something better for people than anybody else is doing. And if you figure out how to do that, whether you work for yourself or you have your own business, you're going to prosper. But most people don't have that psychology. They're missing it. So you've got to become an owner. And then people are like, well, what do I invest in? How do I invest? Let me give you a clue. The stock market has been through World War I, World War II, every kind of financial crisis, the Depression, Covid, everything we can imagine. It's like Warren Buffet would say to you, you don't want to bet against American business. Over time, it's going to do well. But here's what's crazy. You know, the average return over the last 20 years has been 8.2%. And so you're, you're multiplying your money over a short period of time by that because of the compounding that occurs. But what most people don't know is if you just try to time the market and you were out of the market just 10 days, 10 of the best trading days in 20 years, instead of 8.4, you're at 4.2.

[Ed Mylett]

That's insane.

[Tony Robbins]

You missed 20 days out of 20 years when it was happening. That were some of the best trading days. Just missed those 20 days. You got a 2% return. If you missed 30 days, you're in the hole. And so. And what's crazy is 6 out of the 10 best trading days in any history are usually within a week of the worst trading days. And most people are freaked out, right? That's when the opportunity is there. So when you see things melting down, you go, well, when do I get in? Well, you know, there's a great study that the Schwab Group did. I thought it was fantastic. They did all the ways you could do this. Like, could you perfectly market time. And what would your return on $2,000 be over 20, 20 years? And it was $87,000. What if you just got in whatever time you got the money you put it in, it was $83,000. It's a $4,000 difference. And then what if you dollar cost average, it was a thousand less, it was 82. So you put in the same amount of money and the market goes up and down. The only thing that lost money was not getting in the game.

[Ed Mylett]

Right.

[Tony Robbins]

Because then cash went down, the value of the cash went down.

[Manny Coshman]

Wow.

[Tony Robbins]

And so you got to get in the game and you got to know what you're doing and you know, please pick up. I donated all the money from Money Master the Game and unshakable. It's part of how I fed people. It's not enough by itself, but I fed so many people. So please go pick them up and it'll guide you step by step. And you will, you'll stop being the chess piece and you'll become the chess player. Godly, understand how the game works. But if you don't study it, then you're again, you're reacting to the environment and you're going to find yourself in a tough place. Become an owner, don't just be a consumer.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah, there's a running theme here through a lot of things Tony said today, which is just, you know, so many people are going through their lives reacting to the media, reacting to their phone, reacting to the markets, reacting to what everybody's telling them to do instead of being a creator of their own destiny. And that's what you're going to get if you go January 24th to the 25th, which I'm going to go, by the way, I'm going to be there, join to.

[Tony Robbins]

I want people to know what we're going to do is each day I'll have you for two hours. There's no cost. You're able to do it on Zoom and so forth. You can attend with your family, your friends or your co workers if you want. And we're going to take about two hours. Sometimes it goes two and a half or three because I want to add as much value. There's no charge for it. And we're going to take a look at what are you going to do for this next year to prepare yourself so that you have a plan you're not hoping 2023 is going to work out. And it's going to be based on facing the reality of more inflation and more challenge and probably a more challenging marketplace. What are you going to do with your body so you have that energy that we've talked about. What are you going to do to enhance your relationship? So there's a closed harbor here for you when all hell's breaking loose where you still enjoy your life with yourself and your family. What are we going to make sure? And I'm also bringing in people that have done it as well, besides myself. So you don't just go, this is Tony and these tools. So, you know, I'm bringing in, you know, Sara Blakely is a good friend of mine who is the youngest female billionaire, Spanx. And you see what she started from what she did. I'm bringing in the lady that started it, cosmetics. She was listening to my stuff in Denny's, working as a waitress. She just made a billion dollars, right? And she is not what most people would think about. People said we could never have a makeup line aligned with you because you're not like super thin and all this bullshit, right? And she just blew through all that and connected with women in a way that's never been done before. So I'm bringing Matthew McConaughey. He's a good friend of mine because Matthew is one of great, you know, one great actors of this generation. But the amount of rejection, the amount of failure that people go through to get in that position and how he managed that. So you're going to get my insights and their insights over those five days. And I promise you'll be experienced, you won't forget. It's my way of investing back in you so that you can have the best year possible. I've been doing it. It's my third year doing this, so I'm real excited for the impact we had. A million people the last two years participate just for those five days.

[Ed Mylett]

Before we start the interview with my next guest, just want to remind you all that you can subscribe to the show on YouTube or follow the show on Apple or Spotify. We have all the links in our show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Now, on with the show. Welcome back to Max out, everybody. I'm Ed Mylett. Today's show is going to be ballistic. So I am.

I'm sitting next to the real life.

Dos Equis man, one of the most.

Interesting people I have ever met in my life.

This man has a resume that is.

Too long to even start the introduction with today.

And we're going to talk about that today. Like life resumes.

But to start, put it mildly, this is someone who started the company Marquis Jet.

He ends up selling that to Warren Buffett. And Berkshire Hathaway started a water company that he sold at Coca Cola. He's run a hundred miles in one day before.

He's a father of four. He's married to one of the most successful female entrepreneurs in the country. And Sarah Blakely, the founder of Spanx. And most importantly for me, he is one of the most giving and generous people with his time, his information, and.

His energy that I have ever met in my life. And I'm literally, look at this.

I'm getting goosebumps because I've been really looking forward today. So, everybody, this is Jesse Itzler. Jesse, thanks for being here.

[Jesse Itzler]

Thank you so much, man. I appreciate it.

[Ed Mylett]

You have this thing that I think, I think to the extent that someone has this thing I'm going to ask.

You about before we get into how you end up getting your first client, which is the best story of all time.

But I think all successful people on some level, and to the extent you.

Are successful is the extent you have.

This thing, which is that you're willing to step into spaces you are ill prepared for. So it seems to me like you're willing to. You kind of think, like, if I get my foot in the door, then I'll figure this stuff out.

Right.

Whereas what most people do, and this.

Is killing you, by the way, I won't step into the door until I'm.

Completely prepared, which is a total fallacy anyways, as an entrepreneur, for sure, or.

Wanting to become a rapper or have.

A music career or an artist or anything great. If you're waiting for a threshold of I need to be totally prepared, then.

I'll step in the door.

You will be on the other side.

Of that door the rest of your life.

So talk about that. You have this sort of thing about you. You'll figure it out once you get in there.

[Jesse Itzler]

Yeah, well, first of all, nothing happens if you don't get into the door. So you have to figure out how to get in the door. And I've always trusted the process that I'd be able to figure it out. But like, the common thread throughout my journey as an entrepreneur in everything is I had no prior experience in anything that I did. And for me, that was the greatest blessing, because for me, it meant rip up the playbook. No one taught me how to do it. So the whole industry was operating the same way. And I always say to my employees, Sarah, my wife, does the same thing. You know, if no one taught you how to do your job, how would you do it? Like, if you ripped up the playbook and you said, like, how would I treat my customer? How would I go after and pitch this? That's where innovation comes from. That's where innovation comes from. Everybody else in the space, they were doing the same playbook. All the brochures looked the same and we didn't know anything. We didn't know anything. So for us it was a greatest blessing. So I think experience is overrated. It's important, but it takes so damn long, you know, and like if I, if we would have waited to get three years on, on the front, on the line and this, there would have been four other jet companies and we would have never have done it.

[Ed Mylett]

So wow, that's so true.

[Jesse Itzler]

You gotta start the process as an entrepreneur. I think like the number one thing is start. You never have it all figured out. It's never the right time, you never have enough experience. But if you let that slow you down until you have it's the right time and the right experience. Come on.

[Ed Mylett]

It's.

[Jesse Itzler]

The world's like, the world's so fast.

[Ed Mylett]

So you're telling me you did not know a lot about the rap game before you got in? You didn't know a lot about the writing lyrics game before that? You didn't know a lot.

Just listen to this everybody.

You didn't know a lot about the coconut water business before you got in the jet business before you got in it, or the NBA before you got in it.

[Jesse Itzler]

I would say nothing. Literally, I wouldn't say not a lot. I would say nothing.

[Ed Mylett]

It's incredible.

[Jesse Itzler]

And look, you know, I was fortunate. You know, we were able to, as soon as we were able to afford to bring in people that knew more, we were able to scale it, you know, but we started everything very small. You know, we always thought really big and once we got momentum, we were able to ramp it up super fast. The only way that I could really find, you know, I had to go where wealthy people were. And I heard about this conference called TED in Monterey, California when they were first starting out that was attracting all these tech guys and well off folks, etc. So my partner's like, you got to go to the TED Conference in Monterey, California. So I had, I think I connected through Chicago into LA. It's a five hour car ride to Monterey, California. It was a 16 hour journey and I get to there and as soon as I get there, everybody, it's like Fort Knox. I didn't have a credential to get in, so they didn't. You couldn't go anywhere near the conference. So I'm like, man, I just flew 16 hours, I can't go in. I'm so frustrated. But it smelled like there was a sale there somewhere. So I'm like, let me go into the little Coffee shop over here and try to like figure this out. And I'm sitting in the coffee shop and about 20 minutes into my sitting there, kind of like thinking, God, how am I going to do this? A wave of people with credentials come in and they're ordering lattes and muffins. And I realized that they must be on coffee break from in between speakers at the tech conference. So they're all ordering lattes and muffins. Lattes and latte and muffins. So the next morning I Show up at 5 o'. Clock. First one there as soon as they open and I buy every single muffin. I control all the muffin inventory in Monterey, California. I bought every muffin. And when the first wave of folks come in, you know, they're like, come up, have a latte and a muffin. Like you can have a latte, but we're all out of muffins. And as they would walk out, I would say, excuse me, I over, actually, I have the muffin with my office here. We have all the muffins and would you like a muffin? No, no, no.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah.

[Jesse Itzler]

What do you do? Next thing you know, I'm in a conversation with somebody and he asked me what I did and I said, well, I have a private jet company called Marquis Jet and guy who just sold this company called half.com to eBay. And he said, well, I'm actually interested in a private jet. Would you mind if I sit down and talk to you about it? And I was like, absolutely.

[Nick Kyrgios]

Like, please sit down.

[Jesse Itzler]

You can have two muffins. And we started talking. And here's what's interesting. And here's how I built my career. He ended up being my first customer.

[Ed Mylett]

Unbelievable.

[Jesse Itzler]

But he was the key because I serviced the hell out of him. Anything he wanted carried his bags if he was going to Mexico. Shock and awe. Here's a book of places. Here's a reservation, here's where you can snorkel. Like that's not the business I'm in. I provide time on jets. No, that's what everybody else was doing. This is what we're gonna do. I see your family's going. Here's a floaty thing for your two year old. And they would get that. And I just serviced him. How was the trip? Can I help you? Here are your bags. And he was my source of referral.

[Nick Kyrgios]

There you go.

[Jesse Itzler]

And then the next guy came in. Same system, same thing, same thing, same thing. And what was interesting about Marquis Jet, wow. You know, it wasn't that we built this amazing company, you know, it was an amazingly successful venture. But that's, that wasn't the goal for me. The gold for me were the people that we flew, because we flew. We flew 4,000 of the who's who of entrepreneurs, CEOs, athletes, entertainers. And I was like, wow, here I am, I'm 30 years old. I was obsessed with meeting these people and learning about their daily routines. So what I would do is I would say like every conversation was like, what time do you get up? What do you eat? How do you spend your time? How do you live rich? How do you do this? What's a vacation look like? And I would take all these habits from these winners at the highest level and start to incorporate them in my life. And the things that worked stuck and the things that didn't, I got rid of them and over time built this system you mentioned in the beginning, like your life, resume, built this system that works for me. And as I've evolved, now I have four kids, my system evolves because I can't have the same system as single Jesse, 40 years old and no kids where I have can. I have the freedom to do what I want now. I have way more responsibilities, you know, with my family. So the system evolves. So that, that was the gift.

[Ed Mylett]

Wow. See for me, for someone listening to.

This and I already know what they're thinking, this is literally like an inside.

Peek to like an absolute master class.

Of how to do these things right here, everybody.

And I just want to illustrate two points you made and I want to make sure that I say them correctly. The first thing is, is that all of the, the most successful entrepreneurs I know, and obviously you're at the top.

Of that list because there's been multiple wins.

The reason I want you all listening to what Jesse covers and his social.

Media and his content is because he's.

Not only a mega successful entrepreneur and also successful as a father, successful as an athlete of sorts, successful as an author.

He's also had multiple wins. In other words, it wasn't a one hit business wonder.

This is a formula that has worked for him, that he's replicated into many different business ventures. And you said something brilliant. The unique thing for the ones I see is they create an experience for.

Their customers that is completely different than everybody else.

I don't care if you're a personal trainer at a gym, you own a dry cleaners or you own a jet brand, it's the experience. Because if they don't enjoy the experience.

It'S not mind Blowing.

They're not going to refer you to anybody. And your business can't go viral. It can multiply. Correct.

[Jesse Itzler]

I always ask myself this one, one question. Would I recommend myself as. Fill in the blank. Would I recommend myself as a dad? Would I recommend myself as a business partner? Would I recommend myself as a coach? Would I recommend myself as a boss? And if the answer is no, why, like, why. Why aren't I wreck? Why wouldn't I recommend myself? And I always tell people, like, you know, like, people call up, like, my kids are going to their first job. What would be the one piece of advice? Make yourself irreplaceable. Make yourself irreplaceable. If you have that relationship with the customer, with. If you're so important, you're incredibly valuable. But it's true. And, you know, I ask myself a lot of questions. I ask myself a lot of questions, and that's one thing I always ask myself. Like, you know, if I go. Let's say I go sideways with someone for some reason, I'm just. I don't very often, but if I do, would I recommend myself? What did I do? And very often, you know, it's. I could. I can. I'm okay with it. And if it's something that I did, then I want to get in front of it and apologize or address it internally so it doesn't happen again. You mentioned something about success. And, you know, everybody has multiple definitions of success. If you ask 100 people, you might get 100 answers, but you touched on something I think is important to the listeners. And to me, I have a lot of different definitions. Success isn't being good in one bucket. It's not about, like, I made all this money, you know, and I know, oh, it's easy for you to say. No. Success is not about being good in one bucket. It's about being good in all the buckets. Yeah, all the buckets. It's about being a good dad. It's about being, you know, good to your employees. It's about giving back in the charity bucket. It's about doing the right thing when you do it. It's about standing up for something that you see is wrong. That's success. When I see people that are mega wealthy. They're just fucking wealthy.

[Ed Mylett]

Yes.

[Jesse Itzler]

No, they're just wealthy.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah.

[Jesse Itzler]

That's not what it looks like. And it's. And you don't have to be wealthy. If you're struggling in one area, you can still be good in all the other areas. You can't spiral down because Success, the way you look at it isn't happening. Well, then go be successful, successful in the other buckets and fill up your plate.

[Ed Mylett]

And then what it does too, by.

The way, like, I could feel you.

Coming at me with that because you feel so strong about it.

Your physiology changed too. But what also happens is when you.

And you talk a lot about this.

But when you get wins in other areas, you get life momentum and people just. I did a training on this the other day. But, like, you're to me, I look.

At you, I go, okay, look, the thing he said about associating with these people and their habits.

I didn't have a jet card company, but.

But I joined the club where I could meet these kinds of guys.

What is your schedule?

What's your workout routine?

How do you eat? What do you think about?

How do you talk?

[Jesse Itzler]

I'm sorry to interrupt you habits. You get me all fired up. Everything comes around your day. We're talking about all these successes. They took years.

[Ed Mylett]

Yes, years.

[Jesse Itzler]

I remember walking into the president of Coca Cola about the Zico thing. He's like, it takes eight years to build a brand in this country. Of course, there's get rich quick things, and now it's a little faster, but it's. It takes time. But what the foundation of that is your daily habits. It's creating winning habits, winning routines, and a winning mindset. That's the formula. There's no way around it. It doesn't happen without that.

[Ed Mylett]

One of the unique things for me, because I completely agree, one thing that's.

Unique about you and I is we both will be creating this content for a while.

Then we looked at each other's stuff like, my God, we so believe the same things. We say it a little bit differently. We so believe the same things. One of the unbelievable things about social media or podcasts like this is that you kind of can peek into what you had at Marquis jets doing this. If someone follows you on Instagram or follows myself, you get access nowadays to something you and I never had. You can get access daily to some of the most successful entrepreneurs in the world or fitness people, or parents or people of faith or whatever your area is through digital connection. Now, it's not the same as live, but it's incredible the information you can tap into now.

[Jesse Itzler]

You are my virtual mentor.

[Manny Coshman]

No, you are.

[Jesse Itzler]

I mean, I'm in tune to what you say. It resonates deeply with me. You're in it for the right reasons. Like, there's a lot of reasons why the things you Say, really have stickiness with me, but you are, to millions of people, people, you're a virtual mentor. And that's exactly your point.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah.

[Jesse Itzler]

And we didn't have that growing up.

[Tony Robbins]

No.

[Jesse Itzler]

Our mentor was like my dad and anyone in my small town.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah, me too.

Don't you think part of your life.

Jesse, that you got some life momentum going, though, right?

I mean, these. The journey is. I think it's the most.

I mean, you're a young man, but.

I think it's the most remarkable journey that I've. Anybody I've talked to because of the breadth of different areas. It's just bananas to me. So let's even move out of one for me. Let's go. Let's go to another thing because I just would love the formula because you talked about the formula. So you have these wins in business, which.

We'll talk about more of them in a minute.

But then you, like, go like, I'm gonna go run, like, ultramarathons. This guy's run a hundred miles in a day. There's Some stat, like 36,000 miles you've run in 25 years. Is that right?

Yeah.

[Tony Robbins]

What?

[Ed Mylett]

Like, do you hear that?

[Jesse Itzler]

It's just consistency, though. I know the numbers big, and I'm proud of it. But it's. Because, you know what, Ed?

[Ed Mylett]

It's.

[Jesse Itzler]

It's just part of my lifestyle. So again, we talk about daily habits.

[Ed Mylett]

Yes, it's.

[Jesse Itzler]

I have a very, very unique lifestyle that's worked for me. I only fruit until noon. I've been doing that for 27 years. Unwaveringly happy to talk about that. I run every. Because it's all about energy.

[Ed Mylett]

Okay.

[Jesse Itzler]

And you use more energy to digest food than everything else you'll do in your life combined. You'll eat about 70 tons of food in your lifetime. And to digest all that food takes a lot of energy. So if you could streamline your digestion and use less energy for digestion, you'd have more energy to have a vibrant life, to deal with infection, disease. And I have boundless energy.

[Ed Mylett]

I mean, knock on wood, you have balanced energy. And by the way, here's how, really.

When he showed up at my house today, he's like, someone's dropping off food, right? Like, he's that meticulous about what he's going to put into his body.

I also enjoy on your social. By the way, the tips he gives on Instagram about the different things that are in some of the foods we.

Eat that harm us so badly too.

[Jesse Itzler]

Think about this. I'M going to tell you why it's so important to me. Let's say you're a billionaire.

[Nick Kyrgios]

Yeah.

[Jesse Itzler]

Okay. You have a billion dollars. You got the helicopters, the farm, Laguna. You got all this stuff. You own sports, sports teams and everything. And you're on a beautiful island in Hawaii with nine Victoria's Secret models feeding you grapes head and massaging your feet. And life is good, except you got a sore throat. And every time you swallow, it kills. The house, the plains, the masseuses, the grapes, none of that matters. All you want to do is get rid of your sore throat. That's how important health is. And there's a famous quote. If you have health, you have hope. If you have hope, you have everything. So nothing means anything if you don't. So I take it very, very, very, very, very seriously. I don't play games with that.

[Ed Mylett]

So I don't think you play games well, actually, it's funny, I think you actually, life has sort of been this game to you that you're winning. But like you, you, I just got to understand something, man. Like you do things now and I just think you, you kind of take them for granted. Like, it's same for me. Like if someone repeats back to me.

Some accomplishment I've had or something I've done, it just.

I don't even know how I feel about it.

It's weird.

[Jesse Itzler]

I'll tell you how I feel about it. I don't care about it. I mean, we have an audience, they want to know the story. And I'm happy to share it if there's value. But the way I look at my life, I'm 50, I'm about to be 51. You talk about this all the time. The average American lives to be 78. So that means I have 27 summers left if I'm average. All the past stuff that's done, man, my life is this window. 51 to 80. That's it. And I want to do this much shit in this much amount of time. So I have to be mega efficient. I have to focus on the things that I want to do with the people I want to do them with. And I got to eliminate the other stuff. So, like the past, when people talk about it, it's like, okay, but it's. Who cares?

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah.

[Jesse Itzler]

Do you care that the Dallas Mavericks are won the championship a couple years ago?

[Ed Mylett]

I could care.

I could care less.

[Jesse Itzler]

This is the window.

[Ed Mylett]

That was a great conversation. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Welcome back to Max out, everybody. Today is going to be incredible. I got to be honest with you.

I've been in a lot of places. I get a chance to travel to some of the most beautiful places in.

The world, thank God.

But I am sitting in one of.

The most overwhelming buildings I have ever been in my life.

I am surrounded by the most unbelievable car collection I have ever seen in my life. No, it's a fact you know, about exotic car collection. I am telling you, it's overwhelming for me. And the cool thing about today is we're going to talk because you have your dreams, too. This is one of this man's dreams. We're going to talk today about tactical steps of how you achieve the picture of your dreams in your life. And imagine this. I'm surrounded by Bugatti and McLarens and all kinds of other cars here. And the gentleman to my left ended up coming here from Iran when he.

Was a little boy.

This is a man who was homeless.

For a while in his life.

This is somebody who worked, went from.

Kmart to this someday.

And so today is going to be an unbelievable story. This man is sort of legendary on Instagram, but he doesn't do a lot of these programs. And so you get to get into the brain and the story of the great Manny Coshman today. So thanks for being here, brother.

[Manny Coshman]

My pleasure, brother.

[Ed Mylett]

This is so cool.

I mean, I bounce with you. We've been here a long time already because I couldn't get ready to sit down and do the show because I.

Was overwhelmed by the cars. So question. If someone was fortunate enough to get to do what I did today and they were an entrepreneur, I don't care if they're a 65 year old entrepreneur. Since I've been, man, I heard what.

Ed said earlier about renting my life.

I want to own my life again. But maybe they're not ever going to be an entrepreneur. They're, you know, they're, they're 20 years.

Old, but they'd like to become one. Excuse me, They've never been one before.

They said, I'd like to turn my life around. I'd love to walk in somewhere, my own building that you own here and have all these cars or have my version of heaven.

[Manny Coshman]

Sure.

[Ed Mylett]

And. But I'm a little bit lost right now. Would you send them back to that notepad of yours? What would your advice be? If they could get two minutes with Manny Coshman, what would he say to them?

In order to turn their life around.

What would your advice be to them?

[Manny Coshman]

Well, first of all, work out. Start working out, build your mindset, write your goals down. I mean, what's your long term vision? Right. I mean, you can't travel across the country in the dark. You know, you got to know where you want to go. Right. And so writing your goals down, start working out, improving your physique, your mind, get knowledgeable, surround yourself with new set of friends that can teach you something new. But at the end of the day, gear up to invest in real estate. Doesn't matter what trade you're in. You know, you wait for recessions. When something drops 40%, buy it.

[Damar Hamlin]

Yeah.

[Manny Coshman]

You know, just wait, it's gonna come back up that 40%. You just made 40%, just not now. Just wait, you know, four or five years, you already made it. You make your money on the buy, you know. Yeah. And that's my first book I wrote. Yeah. So I made all my money in recessions. I mean, I'm actually, I don't enjoy this upswing we've had. It's been very depressing for me because I make my money in recessions. Everything you see that in real estate accumulated, it's been, you know, the building you're setting in here, I bought this in 2011, it was bank owned, boarded up. I bought it from Wells Fargo for 3.1 million, or 3.3 million is worth triple that.

[Ed Mylett]

Worth triple.

And by the way, without saving the location, would you tell about that one building that is possibly a third time for you? Would you mind sharing this story?

[Manny Coshman]

So there was a high rise building I bought in 2005, two high rise buildings in 2005, I bought in Houston for 34 million. Sorry, I bought it for 27 million, sold it for 34 million in 2007, and then I bought it back from mortgage servicers in 2011 and I sold in 2014 for 36 million. And again it's getting foreclosed, so I may buy it for the third time. Unbelievable. I wonder if it's in girls who.

[Ed Mylett]

Are booked for the same guy to buy the same building three times. That would be unbelievable.

Right?

I think there's so many gems and.

So many tips today. You've just said so many things that fascinate me.

But the thing that fascinates me the most about you, brother, is when I walked in here because I knew a little bit of the story. To think a young man from Iran.

Ends up coming here and in a.

Couple weeks is living in a Car with, with his family. Do you not see the metaphor of this? You lived in a car and now.

[Manny Coshman]

And now I got, yeah, all this. Yeah. I don't know, maybe that's why I'm, you know, hoarding these cars. But, yeah, that's funny, because that was my first home, and I am emotionally attached to some of these cars. But again, you know, at the right price, I would sell anything. The only thing is not for sale is my wife and kids. I, I, but they made a connection there.

[Tony Robbins]

I don't know.

[Manny Coshman]

I never thought about that.

[Ed Mylett]

It's unbelievable that you have one of.

The greatest car collections on the planet and you were once living in one. Brother, you're, you are the American dream personified.

And what I love about it is.

Like, you're just starting.

Like, this is the beginning.

[Manny Coshman]

I'm just getting warmed up.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah.

[Manny Coshman]

And I am so excited for the future.

[Ed Mylett]

I could see it. You have this energy about you, too. And you, you have this thing that you like when you. I want to smile.

[Nick Kyrgios]

Yeah.

[Ed Mylett]

You're like a light, like, you're light. And it's interesting because of the business that you're in, too. But everybody said another thing here I just want to finish with, too, and then I'll let you make one more comment. But he said something about recessions, and.

I don't know when they are, how they happen, but a lot of you.

Listening this thinking, man, I've missed my moment. And you haven't. Right? Because the truth of the matter is, and I'll let you comment on this, too, the truth of the matter is, is that actually what you're, it's really good for you right now that you.

Haven'T won because you might have had.

Everything go backwards on you anyway. So the truth is, if you start to accumulate now, you could magnify and multiply your wealth over the next many years, possibly if you do the right things and a factor that you can't even believe because of what Manny has described here today. So life has not passed all these people by.

Correct?

[Manny Coshman]

Correct.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah. Yeah.

You feel like if someone's listening to this right now and they apply the things that you've talked about, there's no reason why their drawings can't come true in their life.

[Manny Coshman]

I don't want to say it's guaranteed, but if you buy something, something low and sell it high, you're going to make money.

[Ed Mylett]

It's a fact. Right. And then a lot of people say.

[Manny Coshman]

Oh, I can't afford the house. I have no money. Well, get A job. Go to a walk into a lender, B of a Wells Fargo say, hey, I've had this job for two years, how much do I qualify? They'll pre qualify you. They say, okay, you can borrow a hundred thousand dollar home loan. Then you wait for recession, Keep your job, don't quit. You wait for recession. If something drops from 100,000 to $6,065,000, go write an offer. You just bought a house, FHA loan, 3% down. I'm sure you have enough time to raise your 3% down payment, you know, and that's your first property goes up, sell it and you can buy, upgrade to a house. You know, I think from a house to fourplex, from fourplex to shopping center, shopping center to high rises, from high rises to multiple high rises, you know, and then you can have your fun with the cash flow. Buy a little bit cars, travel, give back. And you know, real estate is the basis of all wealth.

[Ed Mylett]

You just described the life of this Iranian dude that I knew that immigrated to the country.

[Manny Coshman]

No way.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah, and he's a pretty good guy too. Like, I like him.

[Damar Hamlin]

That's the guy.

[Ed Mylett]

It was so good, man.

I enjoyed today so much, really.

And I can't wait for everybody to see this.

I'm so excited.

Oh, thank you. You've been like this mystery man on Instagram for so long and now they've had this poke into your life and.

And, and I'm so glad that I like you. You know, I'm so glad that like, I feel mutual. Thank you, bro.

[Manny Coshman]

You're a very genuine, humble man yourself.