When Life Changes Overnight: A Story of Faith, Family, and Resilience with Brie Bauer

Summary

Summary of "When Life Changes Overnight: A Story of Faith, Family, and Resilience with Brie Bauer"

Introduction

In this impactful episode of The Ed Mylett Show, host Ed Mylett welcomes Bree (Brie) Bauer, a woman whose life was dramatically altered following a complicated childbirth. Unlike typical celebrity guests, Bree’s story is deeply personal and serves as a powerful testament to faith, family, and resilience. This episode offers listeners profound insights and inspiration drawn from Bree’s extraordinary journey.

Bree's Harrowing Experience

Premature Birth and Medical Crisis ([02:10] - [10:48])

Bree Bauer recounts the traumatic birth of her third child, Beau, who arrived at just 27 weeks gestation, weighing only 2 pounds, 8 ounces. The premature birth led to immediate medical complications for both mother and child. Bree experienced severe blood loss during labor, resulting in multi-organ failure and the need for a medically induced coma. She was diagnosed with streptococcal type A toxic shock syndrome and intravascular coagulation, conditions that dramatically impaired her body's ability to manage blood clotting.

Despite the dire prognosis—with doctors estimating only a 10% chance of survival—Bree persevered through multiple surgeries. She underwent an emergency hysterectomy and subsequent colon surgery due to reduced blood flow caused by necessary life-saving interventions. These procedures ultimately led to the amputation of her limbs due to necrosis ([05:35] - [10:48]).

Impact on Family and Personal Life ([10:48] - [31:51])

The episode delves into the profound impact Bree’s medical crisis had on her family dynamics and personal life. Bree describes the emotional turmoil experienced by her husband, Reid, as they faced the potential loss of both his wife and their newborn son simultaneously. Despite these overwhelming challenges, Bree emphasizes the strengthened bond between her and Reid, highlighting his unwavering support and love ([05:14] - [31:51]).

Bree discusses the challenges of motherhood post-amputation, particularly the emotional pain of not being able to physically interact with her children as she once did. She expresses the difficulty of watching her sons grow up with the physical limitations imposed by her condition while striving to remain emotionally present and supportive ([24:03] - [31:51]).

Perspective and Resilience ([17:59] - [43:13])

Ed Mylett and Bree explore the themes of perspective and resilience. Bree shares how her background as a nurse and her experiences with palliative care have shaped her outlook on life and death. She emphasizes the importance of adapting to new circumstances and focusing on what one can control, rather than dwelling on what has been lost ([20:58] - [43:13]).

Bree highlights the significance of living in the present moment and being emotionally available for her children, despite the physical challenges she faces. She reflects on her father's teachings about humility and the centrality of family, which continue to guide her through her recovery and adaptation process ([29:16] - [43:13]).

Faith Journey ([32:17] - [35:55])

Bree discusses the evolution of her faith following her medical crisis. Raised Catholic, Bree’s faith was not a significant part of her life until her experiences as a nurse and her own life-threatening ordeal reignited her spiritual beliefs. She candidly shares her struggles with anger towards God, questioning why such hardships occurred, yet acknowledges that her faith has grown stronger as a result ([32:17] - [35:55]).

Bree credits her father’s strong faith and moral teachings with helping her navigate her own journey, reinforcing her belief in the power of faith and family support ([34:56]).

Advice and Counseling ([44:54] - [48:46])

When asked how she would counsel a friend going through tough times, Bree emphasizes the importance of listening and recognizing the individual’s experiences without judgment. She advocates for being present and validating their feelings, drawing from techniques like motivational interviewing to ensure that others feel heard and understood ([44:54] - [48:46]).

Future Outlook ([50:17] - [52:24])

Looking ahead, Bree shares her plans for further medical interventions aimed at improving her quality of life. She intends to undergo surgery to reverse her colostomy, which is a necessary step for obtaining a prosthetic leg. Additionally, Bree is hopeful about receiving a kidney transplant within the next couple of years to address her ongoing kidney issues ([50:17] - [52:24]).

Bree remains focused on her rehabilitation and maintaining her role as a loving and supportive mother, despite the physical and emotional challenges she faces. Her determination to stand up and take steps forward exemplifies her unyielding resilience ([52:24]).

Notable Quotes

• Ed Mylett: "This is going to give you perspective. It's going to change your life, and it's why I do the show." ([02:10])

• Bree Bauer: "The thing that truly weighs me down, even like till this day is my definition of how to be a mother has significantly changed." ([24:03])

• Ed Mylett: "What do you hope they (your boys) are learning from you that we can learn from you?" ([29:16])

• Bree Bauer: "What truly helps people, I believe, is kind of like repeating what they're telling you. It's like, verbatim, like what they said, but relaying it in a way that they know that they're heard." ([48:12])

Conclusion

Ed Mylett closes the episode by expressing deep admiration for Bree Bauer’s strength and resilience. He underscores the invaluable lessons listeners can glean from her story—particularly the importance of perspective, adaptability, and unwavering support for loved ones. Bree Bauer’s narrative serves as a powerful reminder that even in the face of unimaginable hardship, the human spirit can endure and inspire profound transformation.

Listeners are encouraged to reflect on Bree’s journey and apply its lessons to their own lives, fostering a mindset of perseverance, gratitude, and heartfelt connection with those around them.

Additional Resources

• Growth Day App: Ed Mylett promotes Growth Day, an app created by Brendan Burchard, designed to enhance personal development and productivity through mentoring and growth-focused environments. Visit growthday.com/ed to sign up and receive a free tuition voucher for events featuring Ed and other influential leaders.

• Bree Bauer's Social Media: Follow Bree Bauer on Instagram @Bo_and_BriBauer for updates and insights into her ongoing journey of recovery and motherhood.

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This detailed summary captures the essence of the podcast episode, highlighting key discussions, insights, and emotional moments. Notable quotes are appropriately attributed with timestamps, providing readers with a clear and comprehensive overview of Bree Bauer’s inspiring story.

Transcript

[Ed Mylett]

So hey guys, listen. We're all trying to get more productive and the question is, how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth based environment, that you're much more likely to grow and you're going to grow faster. And that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Burchard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down growthday.com forward/ed. So if you want to be more productive, by the way, he's asked me, I post videos in there every single Monday that gets your day off to the right start. Got about $5,000, $10,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with the app. Also, some of the top influencers in the world are all posting content in there on a regular basis, like having the avengers of personal development and business in one app. And I'm honored that he asked me to be a part of it as well and contribute on a weekly basis. And I do. So go over there and get signed up. You're going to get a free tuition, free voucher to go to an event with Brendan and myself and a bunch of other influencers as well. So you get a free event out of it also. So go to growthday.com forward slash ed. That's growthday.com ed.

[Progressive Insurance]

This episode brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Shifting a little money here, a little there, hoping it all works out well? With the name your price tool from Progressive, you can get a better budgeter and potentially lower your insurance bill too. You tell Progressive what you want to pay for car insurance and they'll help find you options within your budget. Try it [e-mail], progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states.

[Bree Bauer]

This episode is brought to you by Google Gemini.

[Ed Mylett]

With the Gemini app, you can talk.

[Bree Bauer]

Live and have a real time conversation with an AI assistant. It's great for all kinds of things, like if you want to practice for an upcoming interview, ask for advice on things to do in a new city.

[Ed Mylett]

Or brainstorm creative ideas. And by the way, this script was actually read by Gemini.

[Bree Bauer]

Download the Gemini app for iOS and Android today must be 18 to use Gemini Live.

[Ed Mylett]

This is the Ed Mylett show. All right, welcome back to the show everybody. So today will be a little bit longer introduction than I normally do. Because I really believe today's show is one of the most unique ones I've ever done and one you may remember for the rest of your life. And it's because of this remarkable woman that we're going to have a conversation with today. I just want to tell you all, you know, I made a decision a while ago as the show became more popular did I just want to have actors and entertainers on every single week that are very famous like some other shows do, because it's easy to get them on once you have a larger show like we do. And as I did some of those interviews, some of them were incredible, but some of them frankly are very general. A lot of platitudes. I don't think a lot of it applies to real people's lives. And I made a conscious decision that every week when I come into your car or your gym or your living room, wherever the show is, I want it to change your life every week or at least have a chance to. And so I'm very scrutinizing when I have guests on because I want them to make a difference in your life. And that doesn't mean I don't have famous people on. I do, but I want to have the right people on that can change your life. And I've just made that choice with the show. And today this remarkable woman fits that description perfectly. So my guest name today is Bree Bauer. And most of you have never heard of Bree before. She doesn't have a million people on social media. She doesn't even have thousands of people on social media. But what she has is a heart and a spirit that and an infectious, relentless pursuit of life that I don't think most people have. And I think today's going to give you perspective on your own life. So Bri went through a pretty harrowing experience after she gave birth to her third child, Beau, a lot earlier than she expected. Beau came very, very early, 27 weeks into her pregnancy. Little Bo was born weighing just 2 pounds, 8 ounces and and was immediately put in the NICU unit. And meanwhile, during that time, Bree's health took a traumatic turn for the worse. She suffered tremendous blood loss during labor and birth and fluid filled her lungs. She ended up with multi organ failure. I want you to imagine this. You're delivering your third baby way earlier than you think. Organ failure. She ended up going to go into a medically induced coma and she was diagnosed with a chance prognosis was 10% chance of living. And she ended up with streptococcal type A toxic shock syndrome and a thing called intravascular coagulation, which I know a little bit about because I had a sister suffer with that. And so she had to have an emergency hysterectomy, later surgery on her colon. And unfortunately, the medications that were crucial for her survival led to a reduction in blood flow to her extremities, to her limbs, and that caused those limbs to be amputated. When she finally awoke from this experience, life was very different. And I want to discuss this journey because this is a woman in the middle of this journey. As I interview her today, she is doing dialysis as we're talking today. This is going to give you perspective. It's going to change your life, and it's why I do the show. So, Brie Bauer, welcome to the show, and thank you so much for being here.

[Bree Bauer]

Thank you so much, Ed, for having me.

[Ed Mylett]

You are amazing. Well, let's go to the obvious question. What did I mess up there? What took place? And walk us through the birth. And also just you wake up and discover, I assume you got a conscious choice to have your limbs amputated or did you wake up and this was done while you were in a coma?

[Bree Bauer]

That was one thing my family made sure of, is they wanted to hear from, for me about saying yes to amputations. So they did keep everything until I kind of came to. But I think you really did a wonderful job, especially pronouncing all of the issues that were going on. I do want to point out that February 17th is how this all happened. And I went in actually to an urgent care with my primary care first for my shoulders just like felt kind of sore, like as, like when you have the flu or something and when you're pregnant, you know, I was like, oh, I probably should check this out. So went to my primary care, but there was like maybe seven or eight people in front of me. And so I was like, I don't want to wait. And then I decided to go to my OB urgent care. And luckily when we got there, they're able to put those ultrasounds on their. On your stomach to see contractions and how the baby's doing. And my mom and I look over at the monitor and it's just like, like, just like constant hills going up and down. We're like, are those contractions? Um, and I was just having back to back contractions. I had no idea. That's when Beautiful pretty much saved both of our lives. Not really knowing at the time, but he was in distress and the doctor's like, we gotta do emergency C section. So I get, let's do it, let's, let's go. And then as they put the mask on me for the emergency C section, that's the last thing I remember. Unfortunately, when they opened me up, you know, the baby was delivered. He looked great, little tiny guy. But they couldn't stop the bleeding and I had a placental abruption and they, they still needed to go to my family and discuss the next steps, which was to do a hysterectomy. When all this went down, like blood pressure's going down, they're putting me on pressers, being in BIC and at the time as well, which means your blood is clotting when it shouldn't and it is not clotting where it should. So it's kind of backwards. But during that time, the doctor came to my family and said, you know, we have to do this with turectomy. She will probably, you know, pass during surgery, but she most definitely will die if we don't do it. And my poor husband, you know, he's having these thoughts of what to do. And at the same time, you know, we're handing this certificate to name the baby. Having both, like losing his wife and then having a baby at the same time. We ended up choosing Beau. That was the only name we really agreed upon at that time. And so he went along and wrote that down. But they of course said yes to the surgery for me and they did the hysterectomy. When they were in there, they found that my colon had blackened too. Because this whole process of trying to save my life, the focus was to provide blood flow to the major organs. Yeah, so like, just like the, you think of like a triangle most of your chest and, and below. But that, that colon just wasn't getting the blood flow. And so they had to do a third surgery to take that colon out and do a ostomy. But it's just crazy what they found. So three surgeries within 24 to 48 hours. Then it was like this 10 day span where they put me in a medically induced coma. And slowly my family was watching my fingers start to blue turn blue and black. And the doctors were saying at first she'll probably lose her fingers and her toes. And then it seemed like, you know, with hours, they were like, she'll probably use her hands and her feet. But they just kept seeing the blue creep up, even on the back of my head. It was, became necrotic. I think there's other terms to use for this kind of issue, but yet my, My limbs, they just weren't getting that blood flow. So when I woke up, my family and the team of doctors did a wonderful job explaining to me kind of what happened and that, you know, they, they took off the bandages to show what my limbs look like, which I greatly appreciated, especially as a nurse, too, to. To view what and why they need to amputate.

[Ed Mylett]

Re. Can I ask you. I just want to interject. I want to ask you something, by the way. This is such a. It's. It's. I'm short of breath a little bit, just picturing this. But I want to ask you, just because everyone listening this is going to go through something in their life, probably nowhere near like this, where they're almost in shock that something's happening to them. Whatever it is, it's. Someone walks in and says, I'm leaving you in a marriage. Or it could be a number of things, or you're fired. And that is nowhere near like what you. But you understand that I'm curious as you. You're about to have this beautiful experience giving birth to your third child. All of these things happen. You wake up, and now you're looking at your own purplish, blue limp. What. What happened in. Do you remember what happened in your mind? Was it shock? Was it sadness? What, What. Or was it like, let's just make a decision here and move on. What did you remember? Processing something then.

[Bree Bauer]

I do. I remember the exact moment that they were undoing all these bandages. And again, this is probably like two or three days after I truly came to. Mm. And that's, you know, still. I was on a lot of medication. Uh, but I. The room. You know, a lot of people came into that room that day just to see what I would do. So first, there's just a lot of eyes on me, which I'm not one to enjoy that. But either way, it's, It's a learning experience. And, you know, again, as a nurse and I worked for that same hospital, too, and I can understand when people need to come in to get educated, but I first saw my hand, and it looked like a mummified hand, and it was just curled up. You can kind of. You can still see my fingernails and then up my arm. You can tell, like, it, you know, got blue and black. And then they took the other arm dressing off. And then my legs. The legs were the craziest because I was five, ten or five, nine and a half, but I, I, I. Pretty long legs and to see all of that gone. But honestly, I was like, okay, let's get them off. Really? I want to start rehab. Yeah. Wow. There is. There's no way. Nothing could be done. You know, you can't save a hand that looked like that. And if you keep your limbs like that, it'll get infected, you know, and then you go subject again. So I was like, let's do this now.

[Ed Mylett]

So, hey, guys, I want to jump in here for a second and talk about change and growth. And, you know, by the way, it's no secret how people get ahead in life or how they grow. And also taking a look at the future, if you want to change your future, you got to change the things you're doing. If you continue to do the same things, you're probably going to produce the same results. But if you get into a new environment where you're learning new things and you're around other people that are growth oriented, you're much more likely to do that yourself. And that's why I love Growth Day. Write this down for a second. Growthday.com forward/ed. My friend Brenda Burchard has created the most incredible personal development and business app that I've ever seen in my life. Everything from goal setting software to personal accountability journaling horses, thousands of dollars worth of courses in there as well. I create content in there on Mondays where I contribute as do a whole bunch of other influencers like the avengers of influencers and business minds in there. It's the Netflix for high achievers or people that want to be high achievers. So go check it out. My friend Brennan's made it very affordable, very easy to get involved. Go to growthday.com ed that's growthday.com ed. So if you're thinking about finding a unique gift this holiday, let me tell you something that could really help the people that you love grow and get better. You can't do any better than Masterclass. Masterclass allows you and your loved ones to learn from the best, to become their best. Take an expert in an industry and they're on Masterclass. It's the only streaming platform where you can learn and grow with over 200 of the world's best at what they do. Learn from any Masterclass instructor anywhere on a smartphone, computer, smart TV or even in audio mode. I have to tell you, I'm doing a cooking thing on there right now because I really want to make better food for the fam. And so I'm on there right now doing through a cooking thing and the Classes make a difference. 80% of the members feel Masterclass made a positive impact in their life and there's no risk. Every new membership 30 day money back guarantee. Masterclass always has great offers during the holidays, sometimes as much as 50% off. Head over to masterclass.com mylet for the current offer that's up to 50% [e-mail] mylet masterclass.com mylet what makes a leader? It's a tough question, but one thing's for sure, a true leader leads by example. And a true leader takes risks too. They plunge into life with determination. For those who lead by example and who approach life with a palpable passion, there's the Range Rover Sport. Each Range Rover Sport model offers a dynamic, sophisticated take on sporting luxury. The Range Rover Sport offers focused on road performance and world renowned off road capability with industry leading features like adaptive off road cruise control that monitors ground conditions and acclimates to the present terrain. Agility, control and composure are achieved with dynamic air suspension and adaptive dynamics. Reduces unwanted body movements to deliver smooth and composed handling, true sophistication and excellent maneuverability all on a seriously stylish package. Sophisticated refinement meets visceral power in the Range Rover Sport. A new dimension of sporting luxury. Build your Range Rover Sport@Land RoverUSA.com Can I tell you one thing about you that's remarkable? You don't even know this about yourself, but I'm just going to point a couple of things out to you and everybody listening. The first thing that you said and the way that you frame this and you look at it is Beau saved our lives. It's one of the first things you said and to me that's a beautiful perspective and it's true. And it also goes to, I think one of the keys I'm trying to figure out how a person like you that's going through dialysis as I'm speaking to her is smiling and giggling and laughing even though I know this has been. And by the way, this is recent, everybody, this is not a long time ago. And it is all in the way you've decided to frame this and look at it. So the first thing you said was that Beau saved our lives as opposed to, you know, I had this harrowing experience and because I gave birth to Beau, these things happen to me. It's completely different. And then the second thing you did is you talked about Reid, your husband and what he was going through looking at his wife sitting there and having this new baby as opposed to what you were Going through actually experiencing this pain and the agony of the discomfort. I just want to point that out to you. You're smiling when I say it, but perspective drives everything in life. And I just think you're amazing. And that's truly the way you see it, isn't it?

[Bree Bauer]

Yep. I think even before all this happened, I was. I don't think my personality or who I am has ever changed. Just physically. Things have changed. And time. Time is incredible. If I were to have been seen at my, you know, primary care, doctor, urgent care. I don't think they have those ultrasound things.

[Ed Mylett]

They.

[Bree Bauer]

They may have tested me for the flu and then sent me with an antibiotic, just not knowing because I had no other pain, just, you know, shoulder soreness. I would have died that night. You know, they wouldn't have been able to save me. If I would have come in for, you know, pain or something, I'm not sure what it would have been. But just like, I think all the time about how just the steps I took and. And immediately being like, no, there's seven people in front of me. I'm going to go somewhere else to see if I can be seen a little bit sooner. Just like that. Intuition. And, yeah, if the doctors had moved as quickly as I did when I got there, or, you know, Beau didn't show those signs of distress. You know, it was just a couple of deceleration. I think they looked for the baby's heart rate, and if it goes down.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah.

[Bree Bauer]

And that had happened.

[Ed Mylett]

This is a little bit. I have to tell you, Bri, it's a little personal for me for two reasons. And then I'm going to ask you some really hard stuff here in a second. Okay, Deal. I. It's personal for me for two reasons. One, the birth of my son. He was going through distress with a cord wrapped around his neck, and we thought we were losing him. So very different blessings came from that than what you had to go through, but little 1% understand. And then I have a sister, my middle sister, Andrea, who's diabetic, had very similar issues during her C section that you had. She couldn't coagulate. She was given her last rites twice. Very similar to your situation. And I only say that to you to say that I just have such a heart for you and what you've gone through. I'm curious, and please be honest about this. How has this changed your perspective on life overall? Even if there's dark times, even if it's, hey, you know, three days a week, I'm Terrible. And four days a week, I'm good. Whatever it is, just take us through, if you would, because you're changing lives right now, Bri. Not only did you save your own life, but right now there are millions of people are going through. What I'm going through is not so bad. This precious woman's gone through something different. Or if I do go through something horrific, her wisdom, having been in the middle of it right now, will save me. So what. How did it change your perspective just on life overall? I'm curious.

[Bree Bauer]

I really don't think my perspective on life has changed from what it was like before. I was a palliative care nurse for a bit, and so, you know, just the thought of death and, and how people decline when you get older and diseases get worse. I. I'm a clinical research nurse for the va, and I was a part of a study that focused on improving quality life. And so, you know, there's so many different measuring tools, but just the. What I gained from it was that in order to have a quality, a good quality of life, you have to adapt. You have to change with what comes to you. If you don't, if you keep things weighing on your shoulders of what you can't do or what. What it used to be like in life, then, I mean, you're just going to be pulled down by that for the rest of your life. And you don't. That's heavy. And so for me, my perspective has always been adapting, just changing things that are in your control and then are not in your control. But with that said, the thing that truly weighs me down, even like till this day is my definition of how to be a mother has significantly changed. And it. It breaks my heart that I can't pick up my baby because my room's. I just can't do it. I can't get up the stairs to his room when he's crying. I can't. There was. It was a long time before we figured out how to position pillows and, and other tools to. To feed them. You know, those things that I. That meant so much to me as a mother for my other two boys, I just. I can't do. So when I'm, you know, in pain and laying in bed, I'll hear my baby cry. And I. It just kills me that I can't stand up and get to him. I have the love and support of family and friends to be there for him. That's what breaks me. But then again, what grounds me is that I'm here, I'm Here, I'm here to see them grow up. Although, you know, other people are around caring for him. That still doesn't mean I'm not his mother. I, I had to remind myself of that, that I'm here. I get to hear those cries.

[Ed Mylett]

Bri, I love you. I'm just watching you get so emotional. I just met you and I love you. I shoot, you got to get me here, Bri.

[Bree Bauer]

Yeah.

[Ed Mylett]

These three boys are so blessed to have you. I think, think a lot of things as a parent. I'm sorry. Gosh, you got me there, girl. You know, a lot of things as, as parents with kids I think are caught, not taught. And these three boys are going to catch some darn toughness boy from you, some resiliency.

[Bree Bauer]

And it's interesting because that's what people say that like, you know, your boys are going to be so proud of you. But they are just, they're not phased by it at all. So there's a five, a three and then the baby year old and they just, they're like, there's times where my five year old kind of catches on. Like the other day he said, he's just looking at me and kind of touched my left arm and said, mom, you know, I wish, I wish you had your arm back. It was so beautiful.

[Ed Mylett]

Oh gosh.

[Bree Bauer]

And I was like, dude, but, and then I say, I wish I had it too. But you know, we got sick and, and then they're just like something shiny, you know, like they, and then they run away.

[Ed Mylett]

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[Progressive Insurance]

This episode brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Shifting a little money here, a little there, hoping it all works out well, with the name your price tool from Progressive, you can get a better budgeter and potentially lower your insurance bill, too. You tell Progressive what you want to pay for car insurance, and they'll help find you options within your budget. Try it [e-mail], progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states.

[Ed Mylett]

You said something so powerful about adapting earlier. And the other thing you said is not romanticizing or reminiscing about what used to be. I think so many of us, you know, comparison's the thief of joy. But really the worst comparison, I think can be to a previous time or what could have been. It's one of the most painful. But I'm curious. I'm sure that there's got to be a morning. I. I imagine you might even have a dream where you still have all of your limbs and then you wake up.

[Bree Bauer]

Every dream I have.

[Ed Mylett]

Do you? Every dream you have. Is that right?

[Bree Bauer]

Yeah.

[Ed Mylett]

And so when you wake up, and this is some of the hard things I want to ask you because, you know, sometimes people have a dream that they're still in a relationship. They're no longer in or at a job or look away. They used to. You'll wake up and realize, oh, my gosh, I don't. What do you do? Because I have to imagine you're flooded with sadness when that happens. Is there something you do? Do you pray? Do you look at your boys and be grateful for them? Is there something you do to change that state, so to speak, in you when you hit those moments of comparison to what used to be?

[Bree Bauer]

Yeah, not so much when I wake up, I. It's hard to explain. Kind of like the transition from a dream to being awake, having something that you don't have anymore, but you just. I just keep going. But what goes through my mind a lot is that I am not doing enough. I'm not there for my boys enough. And that I. Even though. So, like, just sitting on the floor can be kind of painful for me, you know, I don't have a bone anymore on my right side. On my right. Where my femur used to be, they had to take that out. And so pain on that side can increase. But then I regret. Regret not going the floor to play with a baby or.

[Ed Mylett]

Hmm.

[Bree Bauer]

I used to do so many different activities with my boys that I can't now, like, build forts, you know, play outside, go into my backyard. I'm so limited, but I just. I try to just be in the moment. I try to just, you know, even though I'm not physically kind of playing around, I'm there to see. I'm there to use my voice. It's really hard if one of them, you know, needs to go to time out. The middle one, he's Andre, like that, where I'll say, you need to go to town out, buddy. And he's like, no. And I'm like, I can't. I can't do anything about it.

[Ed Mylett]

He's gonna figure out you can't do anything about it. What do you hope they learn from you, Bri? Have you thought about that yet? You're just all about other people, and. And so everything you say is other people's experience with you, not your own. I just want you to understand that's why your frame is so beautiful. But I'm curious, since you are so focused on everybody else, and we'll talk about you and Reid in a minute, but what do you hope the boys are learning from you that we can learn from you? Like, don't be humble just for once in your life, for a minute here, like, what. What. What should we be learning from you? And what should. What will your boys be learning from you?

[Bree Bauer]

You can. You can do more. You can accomplish more than you could ever imagine. When you doubt yourself, you're going to let that doubt weigh on you, you know, and just another part of my life, just a few months before everything happened, my dad died. And he. He was just the best. That's all I could say. He was just the best. And I don't. I'm always curious of what he would think of today, and I know. I know it would break him. But he also taught me the fact that you don't. You don't dwell, but you always try to stay humble, and that family's everything.

[Ed Mylett]

Wow.

[Bree Bauer]

So I hope I kind of teach my boys the same, especially the family aspect. Family's everything.

[Ed Mylett]

He's very proud of you, I could tell you that, girl. Very proud of you. God bless you. You know, Got me twice now. Bri, don't talk about dads.

[Bree Bauer]

I know, right?

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah, I. Yeah. Okay. You know, everybody just have to say something. This is literally why I do the show right here, and it's why I'm so honored to bring particular people into your lives. And I love that I get to share this remarkable person with you all. How's it affected your faith, if you don't mind me asking, did you have faith prior? Has it weakened it, strengthened it, changed it?

[Bree Bauer]

Oh, goodness. Growing up, I grew up Catholic, growing up high school, college, faith was not a big part of my life. It wasn't until I became a bedside nurse and I recognized the difference in care or the difference in improvement they provided patients. And so I would see their family prayer, I'd see them do a ritual or something that, that would help them. And it worked, you know, and even when someone is passing, faith is huge. And allowing them to pass, I think more gently. And so during that time, it improved. I was, my dad was really big with his faith and in the Bible and trying to teach us this. I come from family, four kids, and teach us the ways of the Bible. And of course, you know, we agree with those facts of, you know, how to be a good person, you know, and morals and ethics. Today, I, hands down believe that my father saved me and the baby. I know if he had a choice, he would probably choose the baby because he just loved his, he loved his grandkids so much. That's kind of where my faith has grown, is knowing that he's up there. And although I'm not very happy with God, you know, I am faced with so many, I mean, I'm meeting so many different people and a lot of them have just kind of say a line from the Bible or, or tell me how important it is, you know, to believe and to allow God to come into your life. But I'm, I'm still learning. I, I don't want to jump into anything that I really don't know that. I'm just saying I do. You know, that my faith is strong. I don't, I don't want to just say that. I don't want to change anyone else's opinion about me because of my faith. But all in all, it's, it's growing.

[Ed Mylett]

I can say, well, I think that's the all time honest answer on a podcast and not a podcast answer. That's why you're here. First off, saying that you're mad at God is actually so honest and so many people go through times in their lives where they are, and, and we have a relationship with God now. The fact that we're mad at him indicates he exists in our heart and our spirit, and that's a beautiful thing. And, and seeking to understand why or how over the time of our lives is absolutely appropriate. And it's a relationship that we have. And what a great answer. Answer, by the way. And an honest answer, because, you know, I asked that question to 100 people on a podcast. It's just going to be the podcast answer, and that's the real answer. And that's what most people, by the way, in their life, they're struggling with. The validity of it, the truth of it. If there is a loving God, why would this be happening to me? And if you do exist, I'm mad at you. And when I get there, you better explain this thing to me, you know?

[Bree Bauer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Mylett]

God's gonna have some explaining to do to you when you get there. And you will get there, and it will all be explained, which is the most beautiful part. Part of it. But thank you for that answer, guys. I told you, we're gonna. This is a deep one today. So I think when you're married to somebody, you're married to Reed. I think you think you know them and you love them. And then I imagine when you go through something this incredible, right? I mean, you learned something you didn't know or something you thought you knew is validated or. So you can't go through something like this and it not somehow alter, change, improve, make worse a marriage. It has to. How has it changed? Or you can even give us the before and the after, whatever. How would you describe what this has done for your relationship with Reed, your husband?

[Bree Bauer]

He walked into the room.

[Ed Mylett]

Oh, really? All right, read. We're talking about you, dude.

[Bree Bauer]

I love him more than I did before. It's, you know, completely honest. Dancer. And he. He keeps me alive. He makes sure I still feel beautiful. And he. He just does. He does everything. And like you said, you really don't know a person. If I were told, you know, we eloped in Colorado, and if you were to, like, have told me that day that this is the man I married, I don't know if I would believe it. In general, the things he does for me. Not a lot of, like, close friends would ever do or, you know, blood relatives, but he does it without question, and he makes it so I don't feel like a burden, which I know I am. Gaining independence is. Is something that. Working really hard at, but it's hard. It's hard to build that strength overnight. But he is just incredible. Everyone around us recognizes it. And again, yeah, he's now trying to find his life again. As I gain more independence, he's kind of finding his life again and what he enjoyed doing. But three kids, including A newborn and a. And a wife that has no limbs. I mean, and to go, you know, every day, just. There's something he's doing. Yeah. And he tries to make sure everyone gets a part of him, and that's wonderful. But again, it's. It's wary. And so that's just another motivator for me to be like, bri, you gotta sit up by yourself. We're doing all of these crazy things, you know, with prosthetics, and we're. There's still a few surgeries I need to do, but I hope to be standing up again and all that. All that stuff. Yeah.

[Ed Mylett]

Well, when you do. When you do, you'll come back on my show's very heavy audio. But I hope, everybody, today, you'll give yourself the gift of going over to the YouTube and seeing this woman's face, because it's just so. You know, Bree, there is a God, and the Holy spirit's all over you. I'm just telling you, you're just a precious soul. By the way, guys, I thought it was a really interesting thing. I love the beginning of people's answers. When I ask things, I listen even closer. And you said, he makes you feel beautiful. And I just want to remind all the dudes listening to this today, are you doing that with your lady? Are you making her feel beautiful? And, ladies, is your dude doing that? It's one of the things that's. And by the way, are you making him feel handsome and beautiful? I mean, I just think that that's not ever said out loud. I feel safe. I feel loved. I trust him. Well, does he make you feel beautiful? And what a wonderful, subtle thing you said there that stood out to me. Anyway, this show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Listen, it's the time of year where you want to make the next year one of the great years of your life. One of the things you should probably consider is therapy. Most successful people and happy people that I know are either in therapy or have been in therapy because it helps them get clarity, helps them unwind some things that are holding them back, and it gets them focused on the things that need to move forward. So whether you've got major trauma in your life you need to work through or just a lack of clarity and focus in your life that you'd like to get more clear on things and a sense of direction in your life, therapy is a great way to do it. And that's where better help is so great for people to learn different things, and that's where better Help comes in. So if you're thinking of starting therapy, give better help a try. It's entirely online, it's convenient, it's flexible, suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist. You can switch therapists for any time for no additional charge. Find comfort this December with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.comedshow today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H E L p.comedshow Let me ask you this. When, if ever, have you thought of giving up? Don't give me the podcast answer, give me the BRI answer, because you've been doing that all day today.

[Bree Bauer]

Oh, gosh, yeah. I mean, there's been a few times, not, not as far as action, but the thought of what it would look like around here if I wasn't here. And I feel like people, especially my husband, he. My assumption would be he would be able to thrive a little bit more, but of course he would totally disagree. And so, yeah, I have thought about just like how before all this happened, people pleaser, you know, just do anything to make someone else happy, make someone feel comfortable. And if I were to be gone, I feel like that might be for the best for everyone, is to not have that worry anymore, to know that I've, I've, I've gone and, you know, always think of me, but I think it would be easier. But what I tell myself, or I will remind myself what my husband told me as I was in a coma. And he was just praying that he just wanted the mother for his children. And so that was, that was the biggest part, is just to make sure that they had their mom back.

[Ed Mylett]

Yes.

[Bree Bauer]

And so then I kind of come to and I'm like, yes, I'm going to be here. I am going to be there for them.

[Ed Mylett]

I don't know that I've done an interview that's honest. Because you're, you know, everybody. This isn't one of these things where, like, it's 15 years later, Bree's going through this now. I, I just really appreciate you. And. Oh, and, and by the way, the latter is the right conclusion. I can promise you that. And you said earlier about your boys, they're five, three and one, I think. Is that right?

[Bree Bauer]

Like eight months or so.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah, but five, three, and then B.O. and yeah, they don't know now, everything. But I can promise you, like, all kids, when they get into their 20s, they're going to figure out who their mom is and their dad and they're going to have an amazing example. That's, that's the. There's always a blessing in horrible things, and this is not a good thing. Having said that, the blessing more than likely will be in these three boys. And knowing the type of mother they have, how tough, resilient, her faith will grow over time. Her example, her mindset. Her mindset, her love, her concern, her care, her nurturing. And then to have a father who's such a real man, he's just a real man, you know, reads a real man. And now you're getting all emotional. But, but, and, but I gotta tell you, like, that's where the seeds will be harvested of what's going on right now. Not that you're a psychologist or anything like that, but I want to ask you maybe one or two questions left. If someone came to you right now and they said, I'm going through. And by the way, most people would be embarrassed to say I'm going through something difficult after listening to what you're going through. Right. And that's one of the other reasons I wanted you on, is some form of perspective. But in our own lives, it is our life, our journey, and our hardships are our hardships. And so if someone finds this, you know, this is around the holiday season, we're doing this, maybe they feel lonely. Whatever it is, they're going through something tough. And you're like, hey, over here. So am I. By the way, would you just give them any counsel if they were your good, close girlfriend or friend? They said, what are you learning? What would you say to them?

[Bree Bauer]

I would probably just listen versus saying anything specific because again, like I said, it's about their journey. And I do get that a lot. Like, I've talked to so many different people, you know, using the Instagram, and they will usually start off a message being like, nothing compared to you, but, you know, and they tell their story and it is humbling, validating to hear other people's grief and what they're going through. But I am happy to be that example of. Look at her, she's kind of pretty bad. Yeah. And even at, like, rehab, which I love rehab because they're helping me get stronger. And I know a lot of people there will look at me saying, I don't have it that bad. But, you know, we're all there for one purpose, is to get stronger and improve with whatever is rehab. There's so many different disabilities there, and. But I'm okay to be that person. But if anyone were to come talk to me about what they're going through. I have no judgment whatsoever, unless I was being sarcastic or something, but with someone. But yeah, I. I would. I think people just need to be listened to and recognized.

[Ed Mylett]

What do you mean by recognize? Like, what. What do you mean by that Recognize? The listen part I think I get. But what do you mean by recognize?

[Bree Bauer]

Well, there's this technique that I learned, motivational interviewing, and a couple of the very powerful parts of that is I think it's like the writing reflex, which as a nurse, I would do so much, where I would tell my patients what they're doing wrong or like, you know, you need to do this. This is what the textbook says. You need to be taking these medications regardless of what's going on at home. And it stopped me from, like, writing, like, jumping in front of them, saying. Trying to give them the right answer. And so. But what truly helps people, I believe, is kind of like repeating what they're telling you. It's like, verbatim, like what they said, but relaying it in a way that they know that they're heard. And so I think that that's just very powerful. Thank you. And I. Considering, you know, different studies I was a part of, I would talk to patients, and I could just hear over the phone the difference it makes when, you know, you just recognize what they're saying. Especially with patients, I think they're. They feel like they're not heard because maybe their care team is just focused on medical side of things. But. But, yeah, just kind of recognizing what they're saying and almost re. Repeating it back to them.

[Ed Mylett]

By the way. So true. I have to tell you. That's so true. I think most answers by. It's hard. Everyone. That's difficult for. It's harder for a man, I think, in general, like, they want to just fix or solve or what's that? You know? But I have to tell you, I think most problems are solved within. Yet there's value to talking with another person, because as long as they let you talk and validate it, you're hearing yourself put it out into the space to get it solved. I'm a big believer in what you just said. Big believer on that.

[Bree Bauer]

Yes. Yeah, I agree.

[Ed Mylett]

Like, I don't seek advice very often from people, but I do seek to be listened to. And so it looks like advice I'm sharing. Hey, what do you think? But what I'm really doing is listen to myself, work this out loud outside of my own patterns and thoughts inside of me. I have to even Think today talking about this, for you, it's just a little bit different to get outside of it for an hour or so, right?

[Bree Bauer]

For sure.

[Ed Mylett]

Hear yourself discuss it. Last question for you. And by the way, why don't you first say thank you. I don't want to thank you just at the end. Thank you. And I want to thank you for millions of people first, this is a perspective gainer for everybody. But two, the lessons are just irreplaceable. I think the biggest lesson is that you can just plug away everybody and not have it all figured out. You don't have to have it all figured out. I've got everything figured out with God, I've got everything figured out with why this happened. I've got everything figured out with my kids. You don't have to have it all figured out. You just have to get up the next day, one day at a time and do it again the next day. And if I get anything from you, Bri, and I get a lot. That is one of the takeaways for me is that it doesn't have to all come into place all the time right away. But I'm curious for you. What does it look like now going forward? So take us a little bit about where you are. You're in dialysis as we speak. Your limbs have been removed. You're doing pt, a lot of therapy. What, what, what are we going to see happen for you from here going forward that you're hopeful but can be improvements upon where you are now?

[Bree Bauer]

I want to get the colostomy reversed. So it's a surgery that can be done, but it is a pretty big surgery, which I never, I didn't think that it would be too big, but for me, my abdomen's been opened up so many times, and there's a lot of scar tissue. So we have to almost expand my skin in order for the surgeons to open and then close me up after the colostomy. Dr. My intestines are pretty much put back together, but it's almost. Also, it's a surgery that you. You almost have to get it done the first time. And that terrifies me because with the last, you know, eight months or so of my life, anything that is going to happen, it was always the bad, you know, the worst of it. And so I, I just want to get through that, just that reversal. And what will happen is I can then get a prosthetic for my right side where I don't have a leg. It's like this kind of wraps around your abdomen, but it would wrap right over the colostomy, so it wouldn't really work. So I need to get that reversed in order to have the right leg. And then I would stand up and start taking some steps and then future. Future kidney transplant, because unfortunately, my kidneys, they're. They're. They're not doing everything that they should. But, you know, I'm doing home dialysis, and it doesn't impact life too, too much. But I think in a. Probably a year or two, we're going to start looking at candidates and hopefully someone would be a match. Hopefully and do that.

[Ed Mylett]

I don't even know the word I have for you. I'm different because of you. I'm different because of you.

[Bree Bauer]

It means a lot.

[Ed Mylett]

Yeah. I haven't stopped thinking about you since I saw you on John's conversation and immediately reached out, said, I need to have you on my show. I mean, immediately. And I'm so grateful that we did this today. You are. You're special. You're just special. By the way. You are. And everybody listening to this, you are as well. And I hope this woman's inspired you. I hope you listen to this again and again. I hope you share it with somebody that you love or needs to be inspired or needs some perspective or is going through a hard time. And you're a godsend. Bri, I hope everybody sends you love. You want them to. You don't like a lot of attention. You want to go see you on social. You want to go to Instagram.

[Bree Bauer]

Yeah. We are at Bo and Bri B au and then. And B R I E. All right.

[Ed Mylett]

Well, we'll put a. We'll put a link on the. On the show notes. By the way, everyone, Bo is doing great. So I want to make sure that you all know that Bo is doing great. I'm sure at the end it was like, what about Bo? So Bo's doing awesome. All right, everybody. Bri, thank you. God bless you, everybody. Max out. This is the Eden Milan show.