Who's REALLY Driving Your Life? This Story Will Make You Rethink Who’s in Control of Your Life

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Ed Mylett Show – "Who's REALLY Driving Your Life? This Story Will Make You Rethink Who’s in Control of Your Life"

Podcast Information:

• Title: THE ED MYLETT SHOW
• Host/Author: Ed Mylett | Cumulus Podcast Network
• Episode Title: Who's REALLY Driving Your Life? This Story Will Make You Rethink Who’s in Control of Your Life
• Release Date: April 19, 2025

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I. Introduction: A Terrifying Ride and a Life Lesson

[02:12] Ed Mylett

Ed Mylett opens the episode by sharing a profoundly unsettling personal experience: a cab ride with his daughter, Bella, in Boston. During this ride, the cab driver exhibited erratic and dangerous behavior, leaving Ed and Bella feeling completely out of control. This harrowing journey serves as a metaphor for how many people feel in charge of their lives.

Key Quote:

“When you can uncover who's really driving in your life, what's driving the way you behave, what's driving the results of your life, you can have a significant breakthrough.” — Ed Mylett [10:30]

II. The Illusion of Control in Everyday Life

[03:00] Ed Mylett

Ed delves deeper into the concept of control, emphasizing that many individuals unknowingly allow external factors—such as fears, other people's opinions, old stories, emotions, lack of self-belief, and ingrained patterns—to steer their lives. This lack of self-awareness can lead to an inevitable "crash," akin to the dangerous cab ride.

Key Points:

• Fears: Often take the front seat, dictating decisions and behaviors.
• Other People's Opinions: Influence choices to the detriment of personal authenticity.
• Old Stories: Narratives from the past that hinder personal growth.
• Emotions: Unmanaged emotions can override rational decision-making.
• Lack of Belief: Undermines self-confidence and autonomy.
• Patterns: Repetitive behaviors that keep individuals stuck.

III. Identity as the Internal Thermostat

[15:00] Brendan Burchard

Brendan Burchard introduces a pivotal concept: identity functions as an internal thermostat, regulating the "temperature" of various life aspects. This internal mechanism determines the conditions and outcomes in areas such as faith, business, fitness, and relationships.

Key Quote:

“If you don't change that thermostat internally, you could have all the skills of a hundred-degree producer and you will live a 75-degree existence.” — Brendan Burchard [20:45]

Strategies to Alter Identity:

1. Power of Association: Surround yourself with individuals who embody the qualities you aspire to develop.
2. Short-Burst Changes: Implement drastic changes in behavior for a concentrated period to reset your identity.
3. Drop What's Unnecessary: Let go of outdated beliefs, behaviors, and stories that no longer serve your growth.
4. Rewrite Your Story: Create a new narrative that aligns with your desired identity and goals.

IV. Building Self-Confidence and Overcoming Self-Doubt

[51:22] Brendan Burchard

Brendan shifts focus to self-confidence, defining it as self-trust and the reputation one builds by keeping promises to oneself. He contrasts self-confidence with self-doubt, which often stems from external sources and limiting beliefs.

Key Strategies:

• Keep Promises to Yourself: Start with small commitments and honor them to build trust and confidence.
• Scratching Self-Doubt: Actively discard negative thoughts by visualizing them being scratched off a record or DVD.
• Move Your Body: Engaging in physical activity can elevate your mental and emotional state, fostering confidence.
• Positive Self-Talk: Replace negative self-talk with affirming statements to reinforce a positive self-image.

Key Quotes:

“Self confidence is self trust. Self confidence is building a reputation with yourself that you keep your word to you.” — Brendan Burchard [55:10]

“Movement creates confidence.” — Brendan Burchard [73:22]

V. Guest Segment: Tony Robbins on Navigating Uncertainty

[76:52] Tony Robbins

Tony Robbins joins the conversation, offering insights on managing fear and uncertainty exacerbated by events like the COVID-19 pandemic and global conflicts. He emphasizes the importance of creating a compelling future to navigate present challenges.

Key Points:

• Turn Off the News: Reduce exposure to overwhelming external noise to regain mental clarity.
• Compelling Future: Having clear, motivating goals provides direction and resilience against current adversities.
• Immersive Experiences: Engaging deeply in transformative events can catalyze significant personal growth.
• Addressing Fear Physically: Leveraging physical activities, such as workouts, to manage and reduce fear.

Key Quote:

“People need a certain amount of immersion. It’s like learning a language. If you only learn a little bit at a time, you don’t remember it two years later.” — Tony Robbins [81:12]

VI. Conclusion: Taking Back the Wheel of Your Life

[85:04] Ed Mylett

Ed wraps up the episode by reiterating the importance of self-awareness and proactive control over one's life. He encourages listeners to evaluate who or what is driving their lives and to implement the discussed strategies to reclaim autonomy and foster personal growth.

Final Challenge:

• Evaluate Control: Assess whether fears, opinions, stories, emotions, or other factors are inadvertently steering your life.
• Implement Strategies: Utilize association, short-burst changes, dropping unnecessary elements, and rewriting your story to align your identity with your goals.
• Build Confidence: Commit to self-trust, actively eliminate self-doubt, and engage in physical activities to enhance self-confidence.

Closing Thought: Ed emphasizes that life is meant to be a beautiful journey of growth, contribution, and memorable experiences. By taking control and ensuring that your identity aligns with your aspirations, you can avoid the metaphorical crashes that derail your progress.

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Notable Ads Skipped: The transcript contains several advertisements for Growth Day, Advantage Gold, Shopify, ZocDoc, and Bamboo HR. As per the summary guidelines, these non-content sections have been omitted to maintain focus on the episode's core discussions and insights.

Transcript

[Ed Mylett]

So, hey guys, listen. We're all trying to get more productive and the question is, how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth based environment, that you're much more likely to grow and you're going to grow faster. And that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Burchard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down growthday.com forward/ed. So if you want to be more productive, by the way, he's asked me, I post videos in there every single Monday that gets your day off to the right start. He's got about 5,000, $10,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with the app. Also, some of the top influencers in the world are all posting content in there on a regular basis, like having the avengers of personal development and business in one app. And I'm honored that he asked me.

[Brendan Burchard]

To be a part of it as.

[Ed Mylett]

Well and contribute on a weekly basis. And I do. So go over there and get signed up.

[Brendan Burchard]

You're going to get a free tuition.

[Ed Mylett]

Free voucher to go to an event with Brendan and myself and a bunch of other influencers as well. So you get a free event out of it also. So go to growthday.com forward/ed. That's growthday.com ed. Hey, it's Ed Mylett. Let me share something powerful with you. You know, in uncertain times, the smartest people I know protect what they've built. That's why Advantage Gold is a part.

[Brendan Burchard]

Of our program now.

[Ed Mylett]

And what I love about what they're doing is they're giving away a free gold and silver investor kit that walks you through exactly how to get started. Text Wynn to 85545 to get your free kit. That's win to 85545. Don't wait for the next crash. Be the one who's ready. Protect, prepare and prosper. Message and data rates. Performance varies. Always consult your financial and tax professional. Hey, it's Ed Mylett. Let me share something powerful with you. You know, in uncertain times, the smartest people I know protect what they've built. That's why Advantage Gold is a part.

[Brendan Burchard]

Of our program now.

[Ed Mylett]

And what I love about what they're doing is they're giving away a free gold and silver investor kit that walks you through exactly how to get started. Text wind 85545 to get your free kit that's win to 85545. Don't wait for the next crash. Be the one who's ready. Protect, prepare and prosper. Message and data rates may varies. Always consult your financial and tax professional.

[Tony Robbins]

This is the Ed Show.

[Brendan Burchard]

Hey everyone.

[Ed Mylett]

Welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Today I want to share an experience with you that I had recently that really made me reflect on life in general and how we all operate our lives. And so here's what happened. I was on a daddy daughter trip with my daughter not that long ago, Bella. We were in Boston and we had gone out to dinner one night. And after dinner we called a cab and a cab came and picked us up. And when we got in the cab, I could tell this guy that was driving the cab was an odd dude. He was kind of agitated and fidgety and we both kind of looked at each other and kind of smirked, thinking, this could be interesting. And it really got interesting. And so I'm going to tell you this story, but I tell you this story under the premise that it made me look at life in general and being in control in our life, or who or what is in control and how terrifying it can be in our lives to feel out of control. And frankly, in my work, so many people I meet are not in control of their lives. They're not in control of their emotions, their behaviors. And something else is always driving what they're doing. When you can uncover who's really driving in your life, what's driving the way you behave, what's driving the results of your life, you can have a significant breakthrough and believe it or not, this evening I had one. So here's what happens. Bella and I have dinner. It was a great dinner. So great to be able to get away with just one of your children at some time. And so we just had an incredible experience and it ended up being a great weekend, but this night was terrifying. And so we get into this cab and we begin to drive and immediately this guy takes off, screeches out. I said, hey, man, you know, hang on a second. I've got the most precious commodity in the world back here with me, which is my daughter, right? This guy starts to accelerate and my daughter and I ended up being on a 25 minute ride that was one of the most terrifying experiences of both of our lives, where we were totally out of control. And at the mercy of this person. I don't know if you ever had a cab ride to some of these cities, but sometimes it can almost be funny. You're sitting back there going, the crazy things they'll do. Sometimes it's so scary, you're almost laughing. I don't know if you ever had that experience before in a cab, but where they're just driving crazy and cutting people off and not breaking and running red lights. And if you ever did that yourself, or even if you were riding with a friend of your car, be like, hey, slow down, take it easy, you're gonna kill us here. For some reason, these things happen in cabs I found in my life, but this one was a totally different level. And so he hits the accelerator so quickly we're both thrown back into the seat where I can't move forward. And I'm trying to tell this guy, because there's a cage, you know, between you and the front, hey man, slow down. And my daughter starts laughing, I think out of fear, you know that giggle where you're kind of scared. And I start kind of laughing at first as well. We find ourselves doing over 60 miles an hour in the beginning of this ride on one way streets in Boston. I don't know if you've ever been to cities like Boston before, but these are one way streets. You should be going 15 miles an hour maximum. It's dark out, the lights aren't on her. And I don't know the city very well. And we're doing 60 miles an hour. We almost hit a parked car. Then we take a left, almost hit an uncommon car because he took a left turn onto the wrong way of a one way and he's zooming out of it. We're doing 60 miles an hour. And everywhere we went around corners, around bends, the car's almost skidding and we're both yelling him stop, stop. And he's not, he thinks, because we laughed in the beginning, but. But somehow we're enjoying this and he's actually doing more of it. And it gets to the point where we end up zooming towards this fork in the road. And now we're doing about 80 miles an hour on a road that should be maybe 15 miles an hour maximum. And what happened throughout this ride is we lost total control of our lives. I mean complete control. We were at the mercy of this person driving. And you know what it's like when you get in a cab. I've never met him before. I don't know his background. I don't Know what drugs may be going through his system. I've got my daughter back here whose life I'm now in fear of. I'm in fear of my own life at the same time. And we're going so fast, we're jammed in the back by these seat belts. This was not a normal crazy cab ride. This was something else. And it was a terrifying experience to be totally out of control. And this pilot, this person driving up front owned our lives. Our entire lives were in his hands, and they weren't in very good hands. And when I tell you that this is the most crazy ride of my life, we ended up pulling onto the on ramp of the freeway, going the wrong way at one point, heading onto the wrong way of an on ramp, certainly towards our deaths. This just happened. And he catches himself, throws it in reverse, does about 30 miles an hour in reverse, where we're weaving back and forth the wrong way now and then back, and we end up flying. You can probably picture what this experience was like for us. And now I'm yelling at the guy, you know, you can imagine the words coming out of my mouth. But he's not stopping because he's so worked up, probably whatever was in his system at the time. And we finally pull up to the valet at the hotel. We were blessed to be staying at a pretty nice hotel. And I could see the valets could see us coming because you could hear the engine roaring from a couple blocks away. You can picture this, and it's dark out, it's raining a little bit now. You can hear our car coming. And we finally corner around the hotel, and he screeches into the valet. And of course, we spent those 25 minutes totally out of control in our lives, someone else driving everything. And as a control freak in my own life, it was a terrifying experience. And so I will get into what happened after that. But I had my daughter get out of the car. I said, bella, get out of the car. And me and this man exchanged a few words. It wasn't really very intense because I was still in such shock. Frankly, in hindsight, I wish I was more aggressive with him. And I paid the the fair. And I shut the door. And here's what happens next. He takes off out of the valet, full speed. And now I'm telling the valet. I'm in the middle of telling the valet, my daughter and I, what this experience just was. And we watch the car. He's. He is still within sight distance of the valet, and he hits a car head on. Then he hits a Parked car. This was within eyeshot of where we were about 35 to 40 seconds after he dropped us off. He was in a very serious car accident. Now fortunately, by the way, we're just out of the car, so my daughter and I were seconds away from being in that accident. Now fortunately, the people that he hit ended up being okay, and I believe he was okay. And I tell you all of that story because I believe it was a tremendous metaphor for our lives. Number one, it was a terrifying experience. The terrifying part wasn't necessarily just the fear that we were going to hurt ourselves or be killed or hurt someone else, but it was this notion of being completely out of control and something and someone else was driving everything. And I think a lot of people's lives are that way. If you could picture that car ride, I want you to picture your life and I want to ask you a question. Because that crash is inevitable. If something or someone else is driving things behind the scenes in our subconscious mind or in our emotions or even spiritually, we were seconds away from that crash. And my fear is that so many of you, including myself, sometimes have something or someone else driving and then we're not in control of our choices and our decisions and that we don't do a self audit regularly enough to say what's driving my behavior, what's driving these results. I'm getting who's really in control here? Am I really in control of my life? My in control of my decisions, my in control of the choices that I'm making. And more often than not, someone else or something else behind the scenes, subconsciously and sometimes even consciously is in control of our lives and we live our lives out of control. Before I get into some of the teaching that I want to share with you, I want to ask you a question. Do you really feel like you're in control of your life? Do you really feel like you're in control of your choices? Or far too often are you a passenger in the backseat of your own life, out of control, zigging and zagging dangerously through life, maybe even more dangerously than most people know, maybe more on the edge than most people could ever possibly understand or realize. And I have to tell you, those experiences are terrifying. Not only in that car that night. And what ends up happening at some point is there's a crash and the carnage can be terrible in our lives. And so let's ask ourselves together today, myself included, who's driving right now for you in your life? Are you in the backseat a passenger in your own life? And Something or someone else is driving most of your life, in control of too many aspects of your life. And so let's look at what some of those things could be that may possibly be driving things. Number one are your fears. The driver of your life is that who's in control, Is that who's really driving, who guides things? And you're a pastor in their back seat, sort of being thrown around, out of control because your fears drive your choices and your behaviors in your life. Could that be what's driving right now? And if fears are driving your life, ultimately there will be a crash. If fears are driving your life, you were in the back seat of your life, not in the front seat driving, not in control of your life. Fears could ultimately be driving most of the choices you're making in your life, most of the feelings you have in your life, and most of the results of your life. For far too many people, the front seat is being driven by their fears, and they're in the back seat at the whims and choices and decisions that their fears make on their behalf. Maybe it's not your fears. Maybe it's some other person's opinion that you're worried about. Maybe it's judgment still from parents. I have a very good friend of mine who told me recently, she said, I'm still trying to get the approval of my dad and my father's been passed away for 15 years. Is it some other person's opinion that's driving the choices? You're afraid of the hate you might get from them, the criticism, the ridicule, the frustration. Do you live with someone whose emotions are on edge all the time, and you're afraid of their anger, you're afraid of them lashing out, you're afraid of their judgment, you're afraid of their emotions, ups and downs, the roller coaster type person in your life, you're afraid of them. Maybe you don't phrase it that way, but you don't want to offend them, you don't want to work them up, you don't want to poke them too much. Or maybe you've got a parent or a friend or a group of people that you're afraid of their judgment and their opinion, what they'll think of you if you really were authentic and vulnerable about who you are and what you want and what the emotions are that you have in your life. So you, you wear a mask, you pretend to be somebody that you're not to please these people. Is some other person's opinion driving your life? Is it both of them. Is it your fears that drive Sometimes. And then when your fears decide to get in the passenger seat, some other people's opinion. They're driving now, but you're still on the back seat, totally out of control. By the way, sometimes we fear the opinion of an imaginary person who doesn't even exist, but we're just worried about what they're going to think. We don't even know who they are or what they're thinking, but we don't want to mess it up. And that's a person who lives out of control, just zigging and zagging out of life half the time, going the wrong way, throwing it in reverse. Really scary way to live our lives. Yet so many people live an unexamined life. By the way, I think to some extent I'm talking to myself. I'm a control freak. I know that. And I know that in that car that night, I didn't like not being in control. But I do know that there's been times in my life where there are other things that control me. I wonder why did I make that choice? Why did I say that? Why can't I get control of my emotions? Or why do I keep falling into this pattern? So I relate ask you this. Maybe it's not fears. Maybe it's not someone's other opinion. Maybe it is. Maybe it's just an old story that's in control of your life. There's a story you keep telling yourself about your past, about someone who hurt you or some harm that was done, or some failure of yours. And you just keep this old story going and it's controlling your entire life. It drives everything you do to this day some old story that you just keep carrying and carrying and carrying. My mom did this, my dad did that, my sister this, that divorce, this person hurt me. It may even be a true story. But that old story is driving the car of your life, not you. You've allowed this story, true or not, let's just assume it's true, to control your life. And until you let go of that story, until you surrender that, yes, that happened. But I'm going to create a new story. I'm going to tell you where I'm going. That old story keeps driving. And by the way, that old story.

[Brendan Burchard]

You know what it does?

[Ed Mylett]

It takes you on the same road the same time over and over and over again. It's like having no navigational equipment, no steering wheel, no brake, no accelerator. It's just on autopilot. It's like having an auto Driven car. But you don't even need to be driving. And it's just. This story just drives your life, and it's been driving it for too long. So maybe it's an old story that's driving your life, and that story's in control of your life, not you. Let me say this. Halfway through, on these different choices, you were born to be in control of your life. You and God, you and your higher power, you and your faith, partnering together. Your fears aren't supposed to be in the front seat, driving your life with you in the back seat. Some spectator being thrown around, afraid. Other people's opinions, parents, siblings, friends, imaginary people that don't even exist. Their opinions shouldn't be driving your life. But behind the scenes, let's just be real. That's who's driving. That's who's in control. This old story that you keep telling, stop. It's controlling your entire life. It allows you to make no new turns, see no beautiful new vistas, take in anything brand new, because you keep repeating the same story on the same track and the same map. Maybe it's not an old story. Maybe it is. Maybe it's your emotions that are in charge of your life. Do you have a tendency to get to sadness too quickly? Anger, anxiety? I think in my case, if I were being honest, I think many times my emotions have taken the front seat and they've driven. I've allowed my emotions to be the driver. I've had a propensity when I was younger, I think anger, I'd have these outbursts. Maybe some of you relate to this. And then later I feel so bad. Why was I so worked up? Why did this emotion take over and drove for that entire hour of my life, that entire day, that entire week of my life? Maybe some of you wake up and you have this pattern of sadness. This emotion keeps popping up, and it's control of your life. It dictates the decisions or the lack thereof that you keep making. Maybe it's anxiety. I don't know which one it is. But these emotions are in control of your life, not you. They drive your proverbial life for you. It's a scary thing, isn't it, when you feel, though, if you're one of these people, where your emotions start to. You go, you know it, right? It's coming. And these emotions start driving and you're not in control and you can't stop it. You can't turn it off. And then later you look back with regret and you. You're frustrated with Yourself, I think a self audit right now. Some self reflection, some examination as I'm talking, their emotions that are driving. Is that the driver that's so scary? That cab driver that night was pretty dang scary, right? Maybe anger is your cab driver. Maybe sadness is your cab driver. Maybe anxiety is your cab driver. Maybe your old story is your cab driver. Maybe other people's opinions, maybe it's your fears. But when emotions drive our lives, we are an out of control human being. And by the way, even those of you that hang on for those rare moments of total joy, total bliss, those little fractional moments that you're going to get, let's just be honest, 1 to 5, maybe 10% of the time at best in your life, you're going to hang on and delay all of the great things in your life just for those fleeting moments of some little, you know, hit of bliss. As opposed to you being in charge of your life and allowing yourself to experience the emotions you want, anytime you want. You dictate the story, you dictate the opinion, you push away the fears, you choose the emotions. The emotions don't choose for you. Maybe it's not that. Maybe who's driving is your lack of belief. Maybe it's your lack of self confidence and belief in yourself. And that lack of belief, that lack feeling that you have for yourself is really in control of your life. That's the cab driver. The cab driver of your life is. I don't believe in myself so that I don't believe in myself as the cab driver. It drives every choice I make. It's why I avoid make taking risks. That's why I don't date or I don't see people, or I don't start a business, or I don't really go for it in my business, or I don't start building my personal brand or I don't write that book or I don't give that speech, or I don't reach out to that person that I want to reconcile with, my lack of belief is the cab driver of my life. I'm totally out of control if I'm being honest, because this lack of belief is going on behind the scenes. It's this loop that I keep running that's who's really driving my life, not me. So is it your lack of belief? Maybe it's not lack of belief. Maybe it's just your patterns. You've developed these patterns in your life of thoughts, most of which were installed in you when you were very, very young. And you have these patterns that you just keep repeating over and over. I have, I think of a few friends of mine and why does it surprise us when someone behaves like who they are? You know, I have a few friends I think of recently, like they made some choices that, you know, they've always made these choices. They just, you know, they can go for five months or a year or eight months being a better version of themselves. But ultimately they do the same thing they've always done. They go back into the same pattern, the same choice, the same self destruction, the same pain they cause other people, the same selfishness, whatever it might be. Their patterns are in total control of their life and so they can go a little while. It's almost like an alcoholic who's like, I can quit for a month, I can quit for six months, I can quit for eight months. Eventually that pattern comes back again. And so are your patterns, the cab driver of your life, are they the ones in charge? Do your patterns eventually come back and they kind of rule the roost? What about this? Maybe it's you as a child is still in control of your life. Things that happened to you when you were a child, the thoughts you had as a child, the mindset, the identity you developed as a child. The five year old, you still in charge. The eight year old, you still in charge. The 12 year old, you still in charge. Not the adult. Well, read someone listening to personal development. Listen to the best in the world. Listen to me right now. Not all the stuff you've learned, but it's your patterns or it's you as a child that's in charge. And this little girl or little boy is still in charge of your life rather than this grown strong woman who's capable of taking charge and being the driver. This grown strong man who can make new choices and new decisions and create a new life and treat people differently and feel differently. That's not who's driving, that's not who's in charge. You're in the back seat and the 5 year old you's in the front seat driving. Nothing scarier than a child driving the car of life. Nothing scarier than a child. Can you imagine a seven year old driving that cab through Boston that night? But so many of you, the seven year old you is driving you through this entire life. This nine year old, this five year old, this two year old, it's time for that to stop. And then lastly, you know what? Maybe there's just another person who's in control of you. Maybe there's a person in your Life that you've allowed to take control of you. And those of you that are in that situation right when I said it, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Those of you that have a girlfriend that's living like that or a buddy of yours that's living like that, you know exactly what I'm talking about. This other person controls them. They've allowed this other person to take control of their life, to be in charge of their life, pleasing them, not offending them, making them happy, making them comfortable, pulling them out of their emotional turmoil, tried to avoid that person's emotional outburst or their ridicule in their life. So many people have entered a dependent type relationship, a codependent type relationship with a friend or a loved one, their significant other. And the truth is that other person's in control of your life or their life and not you. And you were born to have another person control your life. Nobody is that important that they should be in control of your life, nor should you be in control of their life. And maybe if you're that type of person who you have this propensity that's going to control people, maybe you need to evaluate that today, saying, what am I doing to this person in their life? And if you're being controlled by another person, you've got to ask yourself, when did I surrender control to this person and how do I get this back? Because all of these things are equally or more scary than that cab ride I had that night. Because all you got is this one life. All you've got is this one life, this precious life that you were born to do something great with, that you're supposed to be born to help other people, to live with great emotions, to make great contributions in your life, to have tremendous memories. Not every moment of life is supposed to be blissful and perfect. But the truth of the matter is you should have more bliss, more abundance, more success, more wealth, more contribution, more memories maybe than you're getting right now. And it's a scary way to go through life. I want to challenge you today to evaluate what I've covered, to get out of the back seat of your life, to stop allowing your fears, other people's opinions, old stories, your emotions, your lack of belief, your patterns, your inner child or another human being to control your life. And you step forward and get in the driver's seat again. And so that these crashes don't keep happening. This journey of life is supposed to be a rather beautiful one, where we have these awakenings and breakthroughs and discoveries and Understandings. I like to say that I'm addicted to the expansion of my being, whatever that means. For some of you, it's the expansion of your contribution, it's the expansion of your emotions, it's the expansion of your wealth, the expansion of your company, the expansion of the relationships you have, expansion of the difference that you can make. But none of those things are possible if you aren't in the driver's seat, if you aren't in control of your life. And I don't want you to be standing around waiting for that inevitable crash that we saw at the valet that night. You weren't born for that. You were born to do something beautiful and magnificent with your life. And so I hope today you take in an evaluation of who's really in charge, who's really doing the driving in your life. And as I've listed, these different drivers in life, these different things that can take control of our lives, that you eliminate the ones that impact you the most. And you switch seats and you move them to the back seats. Not like they're always just going to go away instantaneously. Let me be very clear. When you make decisions like this, they don't just disappear, but if you can move them to the back seat and you step forward in the front seat now you're driving and they're spectating. They'll do their best to climb in that front seat from time to time. But if you understand who they are and you're aware of them, you can move them back there anytime you need to and you can drive the results and the emotions of your life. I hope today helps you. It sure helped me just talking about it with you. So I gotta be honest with you. Anything you see in my business life that forward faces the public somehow. Shopify has had their hand in and has been involved with now for about a decade. Shopify handles the entire interactive customer experience. They help track my metrics, by the way, at the register, when people buy, they've upgraded. For most people about 30% more buying at the point of contact, at the end of sale. It's smooth, it's professional, it makes you look like a pro. Small businesses with one or two people, up to businesses with thousands of employees, all use Shopify for their checkout, their customer experience, and even marketing. Now. So you can do this as well, upgrade your business to get the same checkout we use with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com mylet all lowercase go to shopify.com mylet to upgrade your selling today shopify.com mylet hey guys, when's the last time you knew you needed to go to the doctor but you pushed it off? You made an excuse? I'm gonna tell you a specific one. With me, for about a year I've had this thing kind of growing on my earlobe and I kept putting it off and putting it off because we had moved and I didn't know what my new doctor was. And then Zocdoc started sponsoring my show and I'm like now that's a killer idea. And So I use ZocDoc to find the guy who up doing the treatment on my ear and removing this thing that was there that turned out to be pre cancer. Zoc Doc's a free app and a website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click instantly to book an appointment. We're talking about booking in network appointments with more than 100,000 doctors across every specialty from mental health to dental health, primary care, urgent care and more. So stop putting off doctor appointments and go to Zocdoc.com mylet to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's z o c-o c.com/mylet zocdoc.com mylet so when I coach people on their business, they always ask me what do I need to have in place. I said if you're going to grow and scale anything, you better have great marketing and sales and you had better have somebody great in hr. The problem with HR is it doesn't return on the investment most of the time like sales and marketing does. Bamboo HR has robust hiring and onboarding tools that will streamline the process, thus creating better first days for those new hires. Over 34,000 companies are already trusting Bamboo. Bamboo is a powerful yet flexible all in one HR solution for growing your business. Stop spending countless hours on payroll time tracking benefits, performance enhancement compliance. With Bamboo hr. Those hours are shaved down to minutes. I think you should as well. Plus, Bamboo prides itself on being super easy, which it is to use all in one. Stop shopping for your business. I can't recommend Bamboo HR enough. Check it out for yourself with a free [e-mail] free demo that's bamboo hr.com free demo bamboohr.com free demo very short intermission here folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that Way.

[Brendan Burchard]

You know, people ask me often what were some of the decisions and choices and areas I focused on that made the biggest difference for me in my life. And today's topic is the thing that I would probably give you the gift of first, and that is the power of your identity. See, I believe the most powerful force in the world is to be consistent with the thoughts, ideas, concepts and beliefs you hold to be true about yourself. And that is what identity is. Identity is the governor on every single area of your life. It literally sets the temperature for all of the conditions of your life. Shakespeare has this incredible quote that says, we know what we are, but not what we may be. And the who you may be is going to be dictated by your ability to always your identity. Because you are going to always be consistent with what you believe you're worth and what you believe you deserve. Or what is your identity? Your identity. The best analogy I could give you is like a thermostat sitting on the wall of your life. It sets the entire temperature for the conditions of your life in multiple areas. And so most people think their life is dictated by external circumstances. They spend their entire life trying to control what is outside of them. You've all heard the great saying that people in 12 step programs talk about, about learning to control the things they can and letting go of the things that they can't control. And the fact of the matter is, you cannot always control the external factors that are impacting you in your life. The good news is it's the external things in your life that do not dictate the direction or the ultimate destination of your life. That is a fallacy. Listen to me when I tell you this. External circumstances do not dictate the ultimate, ultimate destination of your life. It's an internal game. You and your faith, your God are what will control the direction of your life, not the external things that are impacting you all the time. And this identity is that internal thermostat. It sets the temperature just like a thermostat sitting on the wall of the conditions of your entire life. Let me give an example of how the thermostat of our lives works. The best analogy I could give you is exactly how one works in the room I'm sitting in. It sets the temperature of the room. And so the external conditions don't impact the internal temperature of this room because that thermostat regulates the condition of the room. So if we open the door and the windows in this room and cold air blew in here, the thermostat would kick on, wouldn't it? And heat the room back up to 75 degrees. So no matter what hit regulates the temperature of the room. The reverse is also true. If a bunch of hot air blew in the room, if we open the doors and the windows, the thermostat would cool the room back down and regulate it to 75 degrees. Guess what? That's ex how your life works. Once you accept this truth, it is a fact that is not the external things that are happening. It's the internal thermostat. Too often in life, people don't work on changing their identity. They're always working on producing external results. Have you ever known somebody who was wealthy and no longer is? Have you ever known somebody who made a bunch of money and no longer does? How about somebody who was in a great relationship and that relationship no longer exists? How about someone who got in great shape that is no longer in that shape again? If your results begin to exceed your internal thermostat, you will find a way to cool your life back down to what you believe you're worth. And you're comfortable at your identity. You'll think it's coincidental. Oh, I was this accident happened or this appointment canceled or this circumstance took place. It's not coincidence. All of those things have happened because you set the thermostat of your life and you've regulated what you're going to get. Isn't that incredible that you can learn all the talents, the behaviors, the skills, the tactics, all the strategies that I teach you. But if you don't alter that thermostat internally, you could have all of the skills of a hundred degree producer and you will live a 75 degree existence because you will turn the air conditioner of your life on back down to cool it where you're comfortable. It's also true, by the way, you've seen this in your own life. Maybe you've had something really good going in business before. You've got momentum. It seems like things are happening great. And then you wake up four, five, six months later and you've cooled your life, your business right back down to where it was before. Maybe you'd save some money at one time and then coincidentally your car broke down or a bill happened, or there was a run of birthday parties and all of a sudden that bank accounts back to where it always was. It's not coincidental you've cooled the conditions back down again and so you've seen this happen. Maybe you got in great shape at one point, but your identity Wasn't that fit a person? And you've cooled it back down to about what you're comfortable being. This is true in your faith and your relationships, by the way. You have multiple thermostat settings. You have one in your faith, you have one in your fitness, one in your money, one in your happiness, right? One in your business life. So there's multiple identities we have. The reverse is also true. There's been times in your life where the circumstances, the conditions were terrible. You thought you'd never get out of it, you're never going to eat again. Well, guess what, you ate again, didn't you? And you heated your life back up to that same place again. So you've proven this over and over in your life, haven't you? So have I. So has every single human being. The governor on our life, the regulator of our life, is our identity, which is the internal thermostat that sets the temperature for our life. So the key in life is to learn all the thoughts, the skills, the tactics and the strategies that can heat our life up in the areas that matter most to us. But if we don't simultaneously change the conditions of our thermostat, change what we're comfortable living at, change our identity, our worth, change the thoughts, beliefs, concepts and value we hold to ourselves, we will cool or heat our life back to that regulated temperature. And so I'm telling you, the overall key to changing the external conditions of your life is changing that internal thermostat setting. So that's what we're going to talk about some strategies on today. Just being aware that you need to alter the thermostat is a life changing, liberating condition. I cover this in very specific detail and MaxOutYourLife, my book, it's a quick read, hundred pages. I wrote it so that every page has strategies on it, no fluff. If you want the book, go to maxoutbook.com if you put in the code maxout, I'll buy the book for you. So I cover this in detail there, but I want to cover it in detail right now with you as well. What you need to be doing is becoming aware of how important it is that you adjust this thermostat setting as you produce better results, as you start to learn new skills and strategies and tactics. See, you can move from an average business into an extraordinary business with incredible opportunity, but you will produce the same results you're getting in the average business if you don't change that thermostat setting up to 95 or 100 or 120 degrees of what you believe you're worth, the thoughts, concepts and beliefs you hold true to be about yourself. So it is the regulator on our lives. And it's the main thing I work on with my private coaching with some of the elite performers I work with in business and athletics and entertainment and politics, is me working with them on changing that internal thermostat where we can heat it higher and higher and higher so that they can produce the results. And the conditions of their life stay and exceed those levels all the time. In fact, in my own life, I'm always working on my self confidence, I'm working on my tactics and strategies, my ability to influence, right, my thoughts, all of those different things. But the thing I'm most obsessed about, that I know is going to get me to the ultimate version of me, is constantly elevating the temperature in the areas that matter to me, adjusting that thermostat setting higher and higher and higher and higher so that I can get those conditions to match it. Because it always will. You will always get your thermostat setting always in your life. So can I give you any insights as to how to change that thermostat setting? I can. Let me give you a couple. The most powerful way, and the easiest way to change your thermostat setting is by adding people to your circle, very close proximity that live at a higher temperature in that area than you do. For example, in your faith. Let's just say you're a 75 degree in your faith. You've already seen this. You can't possibly begin to regularly associate with good godly people who pray regularly, who try to live righteously, and they're 110, 120 degrees of faith in their life and not have that proximity heat you up. Now, you won't get to where they are. You'll get to somewhere between where you are at 75 degrees and they are at 110. Over time you become 100 degree and you alter the thermostat setting through association. Same in business. If you and I were to hang around each other every single day and let's say you were a 75 degree or in business, hypothetically, and I don't know that about you, but let's just say you were, and I was 150° and we hung around each other all the time, don't you think through that association, especially if you had two or three or four people like me in your life, that just over time you don't even feel it you're at 80, you're at 85, you're at 90, you're at 95. That's where you are. We understand the power of this with our children because we know at school the teachers have influence over them, they're mentors. But the people that really have influence over our children are their friends because they're around them all the time. And so we know it sets their temperature. This is true in fitness. If you're a 75 degree of fitness at every meal, every day at the gym, all your associations, hypothetically speaking, were with someone who was shredded and fit the way you wanted to look at 150 degrees. You know, over time you get heated up. And so you can't be with someone every day, you can't be with them all the time. But the key is to get more proximity in the areas that matter with people whose thermostat setting is higher than yours. I am a product. You are listening to me right now. Because I've been so obsessed with this concept of adding new associations to my life that live in the areas that I want to improve in at higher temperatures than me. It's my obsession to this day. I'll give you a secret. One of the reasons I even do my show is I know that I'm influencing many of these guests in the areas that matter most to them through our proximity. And in some cases, they do it for me. And so I'm obsessed with the power of association. But I don't just associate. See, all personal says, yeah, you're the five people you hang around. Kinda, you really are the five to ten people you hang around. If you're conscious all the time of studying them, of observing them, of asking questions, of the fact that you should be altering your thermostat setting, that's when it really moves. It's not just hanging around, it's consciously and intentionally spending time with people where you allow it to impact you, where you study them, where you really observe them, where you're open to their influence. There has to be a level of trust before you can do that, where you surrender yourself to them. But it's not just being around them, it's intentionally being around people alters that thermostat setting. So power of association is the main way to do it. Second way to alter your identity is in a short window of time, behave completely differently in a 30 day window of time in your fitness life, you shock your system into eating or training completely differently than you used to. Or in your business life, you make A hundred times more phone calls, a hundred more contacts. You do something in a very short window of time that shocks you into believing, my gosh, I could never go back where I was before. You trick your brain into believing you're different. There's this part of our brain that always wants to be consistent with what we're worth. Well, if in a short window of time I begin to behave completely differently, your brain begins to believe you deserve something differently. When you begin to do the things nobody else is willing to do, you begin to believe you deserve the results nobody else deserves to get. This is important also because it changes the water line. It's almost like a water line in the pool. If you raise it, it leaves a new mark. Have you ever seen that before in a lake or a pool where you raise the water line? A short window of time and it just changes the mark in your life. It changes the thermostat setting. So you can alter things in your life in short bursts. And I do this often in an area where I really need to change. Like right now. I just started back on a really seriously, deeply committed fitness journey. I want to get back and past where I've ever been in fitness in my life. So I'm going to add some of these new associations. I'm going to train with a new group of people because I've been training alone. I'm going back to training with some people that are fitter than me, men and women that are fitter than me. That's my first combination that'll alter my thermostat setting, our proximity. And secondly, I'm going psycho. The next 30 days, I'm going psycho. I'm altering my nutrition and my diet dramatically, my workouts dramatically. And I'm going to shock my system in the next 30 days into changing the waterline, changing that temperature setting. That's the second way you alter identity, alter the thermostat setting so that you alter the external results. I've said this to you before as well. See, beliefs are so important to guard because once you have a belief, your brain goes to work. And I've said this in another audio video where your brain has to go to work to prove your beliefs to be true. Your brain literally goes to work on finding the evidence to prove you right. And so that identity, you're constantly reinforcing it. Let me give you an example of what I mean. If you believe a certain worth about yourself, a certain identity that impacts the type of action you're willing to take. So if there's a goal you've got set, it doesn't matter what it is. Pick a goal. To the extent that you believe it's consistent with your identity is to the extent that you will make an effort towards it. It's a self fulfilling prophecy. However, because what happens is if your identity is here and the goal is there, you will always make an effort congruent with what you believe you're worth. And so that limited effort you make produces the result not consistent and it reinforces the belief. It's like a self fulfilling prophecy. So you set a goal that is inconsistent with an identity you're working on. You will only make an effort consistent with the identity which will get you to here, doesn't produce the result and it reinforces this belief you have about yourself. So it's important as you set new goals, as you set new visions, that you also upgrade your identity simultaneously, you're in process of upgrading it because that identity impacts the effort you make, right? Impacts the will you put towards it. And that will is reinforced by the lack of result. And so it becomes this self fulfilling prophecy. So your mind has this belief it wants to prove to be true and it starts to find references. So if you believe you're 75 degrees, it's going to start finding legs to put under that table to make it immobile so it can't move to prove you right. And so our identity equals our effort. And the challenge is that effort produces the result. And so this identity has everything to do with the effort you make which produces the result which will reinforce the identity or the lack thereof. So it's critical that you upgrade identity with your new visions and goals. The next layer of this is you need to stop what's no longer needed. In other words, there were behaviors and thoughts you've had in the past that were needed to produce the results you currently have. But you need to stop what's no longer needed. Maybe you're continuing a behavior in your life that's no longer needed. Maybe you're continuing a thought or a worry that at one time was needed but no longer is. Maybe there's a stress or an anxiety or a belief you're holding true to be about yourself that maybe you needed at some point in your life that you no longer need. It could be something to protect yourself from fear, to protect yourself from harm, or to serve you in getting through a certain circumstance. But if we're not conscious of dropping a thought or a behavior that's no longer needed, we take old thoughts, old behaviors that Serve an old version of ourselves into trying to become the new version of ourselves. So ask yourself that question. What do I need to drop that's no longer needed? Is it a person? Is it a thought? Is it a behavior? Or is it an emotion, One of those things you probably are carrying with you from the past that maybe you needed to get through a circumstance, maybe you needed to get through a relationship, through a setback, through a failure, or just to produce the results you currently get. But that thought, that behavior, that emotion, that person is no longer needed for you to go to the next level of your identity, the next level of your performance, the next level of yourself. And then finally is this. If you're stuck, you're stuck in a story. That's where you're stuck. There's a story you're telling yourself that doesn't serve you anymore. And you have to evaluate what that story is. I'm serious right now. If you say, Ed, I'm kind of stuck where I am. Well, what you need to do is you need to alter your associations. You need to do something in a short window of time. No question about it. You definitely need to evaluate what is no longer needed. Evaluate the story you're telling yourself. There's all kinds of stories we tell ourselves that don't serve us anymore. This is critical. Maybe it's a story about your past, a story about your parents, a story about a previous relationship, a story about a success you used to have. You keep talking about that doesn't serve you to get to the next level. If I can be real with you. Whatever you've achieved up to this point, that story you keep talking about every second you spend in, that old story about what you've achieved, your degree, some business you had, one thing you were real successful at in the past. Every time you live in that story, you're stripping time and focus from the new story. What's the new story you're telling yourself you can't have a new identity without a new story. What's the old story you keep repeating? Maybe it's not a success. Maybe it's a failure that you've had. It was a business setback. It was the market turned. It was the economy. It was someone who did you wrong, a relationship that let you down, a business partner who wasn't consistent, a failure. You've had a poor decision. You made a mistake you made in your life, and you're repeating this story to yourself, simultaneously trying to create a new identity. You can't take that old story into the new identity. One of the things we have to do to create a new identity is to begin to tell a new story. What's your new story? Who are you now? What are you all about now? Where are you going now? What's this new version of you? See, here's what's amazing. At any point in your life, you can just decide to write a new script. You can decide to become a whole new character. See, the leading character in the story of your life is you. And guess what? You and God control the script. You could write a new script at any time you want. Listen to me. At any time you want, you can simply decide to be a new character. I'm strong now. I'm beautiful now. I'm handsome now. I'm bold now. Now I'm funny now. I'm smart now. I'm going there now. Stop telling the old story. Here's the truth. Nobody cares. No one cares if you had a failure. No one cares if you've had a setback. No one cares if you had a victory. And none of those failures, none of those setbacks, none of those victories. And that old character you keep playing is the very thing that will prevent you from becoming this new version of you. It's a story if you're stuck, it's an old story you're telling with an old character. That was last year's version, last decade's version. Who's the new character? What's the new script? What's the new story? I must tell you, I have a lot of weaknesses, a lot of things I do that don't serve me. But this identity thing, I get this. It's the key now. There's a lot of little mini things in life that matter. There's never one thing. Have you said what's the key? I can tell you it's my addiction and my obsession to working on my identity. It's the thought of mine that dominates most of my thinking that's number one. So I'm conscious of the concept. That's huge. Just being aware of the concept will put you light years ahead of 99.9% of it. Just awareness of the power of identity. Just now, you knowing about the thermostat puts you in the 0.1% of all the people on the spinning earth right now. And then the next thing I'm really focused on is always adding people to my life in the areas that matter to me, that live at higher temperatures than me. The second thing is I'm constantly doing things in short bursts of Time to change the water line. I'm also super obsessed with dropping what's no longer needed. There were certain things I needed to think and do and say, or people I needed to be around, emotions I needed to have that got me to the place I'm currently at. I'm evaluating all the time what is no longer needed. What emotion, what anxiety, what thought, what belief, what person, what behavior is no longer needed in my life. And then lastly, I never tell the old story. I don't like telling the old story. I'm constantly trying to write the new script, become the new character in my life. And it could just be the new emotions, it could be the new beliefs I have, it could be the new story, the new place I'm moving, but I'm constantly retelling a new story all the time. I'm constantly obsessed with writing the next chapter of my life, not reading the previous ones. The happiest and most fulfilled people don't read the past chapters of their life. Whether they're good or bad. They are writing new ones all the time. These are the keys of changing the internal thermostat of our lives and ultimately are the keys of changing the external circumstances of our lives. I know today helped you.

[Ed Mylett]

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[Brendan Burchard]

Today we're going to talk about how to build unlimited self confidence. And the reason that I'm covering this topic today is probably more than any other topic. I've been getting asked lately about the struggles people are going through with self doubt, not believing in themselves, negative thoughts about themselves. And I believe the solution to self doubt is to build something bigger than that doubt, which is to build our self confidence. And one thing to know about the fact that you doubt yourself is one. I struggle with it as well. One of the reasons I've had to go learn to build all these tools for myself is because in my life, my baseball career, my academic career, my business career, my speaking career, I've been riddled with self doubt that creeps up all the time in our lives. Am I enough? Am I good enough? Do I deserve this? Is this something that's part of my destiny? Should I be doing this? And if you're a religious person, I believe the adversary. If you believe in the adversary, I believe the adversary's greatest tool that he could use against you to get you to lose in your life is to get you discouraged and doubting. These are two of the most chaotic things that the adversary can do to us or that we do to ourselves. Our own minds is to get ourselves doubting to get ourselves discouraged. Because you can't win when you doubt and you can't win when you're discouraged. What I found out though about self doubt is that you don't overcome it. You build something bigger than it, which means you build your self confidence. And the greater and greater your self confidence get, it minimizes the impact self doubt has on us. Now why is that so important? It's important because you have to understand one thing about the doubts and the negative thoughts you have about yourself. As hard as this is to accept, these are not your thoughts. You weren't born doubting, you weren't born discouraged, you weren't born thinking negative things about yourself. Those were thoughts that were placed in you and given to you by an external source at some time in your life. It could even be our parents. Don't do that. Be quiet. Sit down. Be a good boy. Be a good girl. Maybe it was criticism you received as a is a little one that you may not even remember to this day. It could have been a school teacher, it could have been ridicule at school from other children. But when you were young, in your formative years, these negative thoughts about yourself were planted in you by an external source. That's so powerful to understand. Because these things you think you believe about yourself that have become really true to you, you don't even really believe they were not your original thoughts. But the power of belief is so incredible in our lives, it's so insidious because when we have a belief about something, even if it was given to us by somebody else, our mind goes to work on proving to us that this belief is true. A belief is almost like this table right here, just the top. Once we get it, and what our mind tries to do is it tries to build legs under the table to reinforce that belief. So if somebody told you you weren't enough or you weren't smart enough or pretty enough or fast enough or strong enough, or you don't come from the right place, or you're not in the right culture, the right race, the right religion, the right height, the right IQ as a young person, or you were put down and these beliefs were given to you. What happens is your mind tries to prove beliefs true so it finds references. So once you think it, your mind finds an example of your life where you weren't enough, another one where you weren't enough, you weren't smart enough, you weren't pretty enough, you weren't handsome enough, you weren't strong enough. And it finds these references and it builds like a leg and multiple legs on her table. And pretty soon you can't Move it. And it's stuck in there as a firm belief. That's why we have to guard our beliefs so preciously because our mind goes to work on finding these legs, these references, which are real experiences in our life to prove to us that that belief is true. And so although you may believe it to be true about you, these doubts and negative thoughts you have, these were not your original thoughts. That's a powerful thing to understand because you weren't born this way. You weren't born doubting, you were born perfect. You were born believing you were going to do something great. You were born happy. You were born believing you were going to do something special with your life. As a baby. I promise you, you had no negative self talk. You had no negative self doubt. These are external sources, so important to know because those thoughts aren't really who you are, they're somebody else's thoughts they gave you because of how they felt about themselves. And so today we're going to talk about how to build self confidence and how to eliminate self doubt. So how do we build this self confidence? The process of building self confidence is actually very easy. Believe it or not, self confidence is self trust. Self confidence is building a reputation with yourself that you keep your word to you, that you keep the promises you make to you. When I meet somebody who has a ton of self confidence, I don't look at that as somebody with a big ego. There's a difference. Somebody with self confidence has a reputation with themselves that I do the things I say I'm going to do. That's where self confidence comes from. When I meet someone who's not self confident, I know this is someone who has consistently made promises to themselves they've not kept. They've started a diet and done it for a while, but not kept it. They've made a commitment and goals to go make a certain amount of money in business. And they started down the road, but then they didn't deliver on it long term. To get up at a certain time in the morning and then they don't do it. And so they have a process and a habit in their life more often than not of not keeping the promises they don't make to other people. They don't keep the promises they make to themselves. And so the cool thing is self confidence is an internal game. You do not need external accolades, external admiration in order to build self confidence. You don't need any of those external forces. It's all done internally. You control this and you control this by beginning today to keep the promises you make to yourself and you have to stack the deck in your favor, stack the game so you win. It's not good enough just to keep the promises you make to yourself. You must acknowledge it when you do it to you to give yourself credit. To create confidence, momentum is what I call it. So whether that's setting the deck where you're going to get up a little bit earlier, you're going to make a certain amount of phone calls, your business, a certain amount of appointments, you're going to eat a certain amount of calories in your fitness, you're going to spend a certain amount of time with your children or your parents and you begin to do these things you say you're going to do. You say simple things like I'm going to lay out my clothes the night before I go to bed, every night before I go to sleep. So when I wake up, that decision is made for me. And believe it or not, the fact that you just do something that simple, that you then deliver on, begins to build confidence. You say I'm going to stretch in the morning when I get up and you do it, all of a sudden I'm not going to check my phone for 30 minutes. All these habits I teach, when you just begin to do the things you tell yourself you're going to do, you begin to build self confidence, which is this reputation with yourself. So ask yourself a question right now, what is one thing right now, one promise I can make to myself that I'm going to begin to keep starting this minute and begin to do it? It could be how often I'm going to pick up a book and read it. But you begin to stack things you commit to do and then you deliver on them and you acknowledge them to yourself. You're in the process of building self confidence. Why is that so important? Of all the athletes I coach, well, my athletes are performing at their peak level. They're at their highest self confidence level. In fact, I love when I watch some of the athletes I coach get interviewed and they kind of do this aw shucks, humble routine in their post game interviews. Yeah, you know, just part of the team. You know, I got a lot, I could have done a lot better today, but inside I know these people are incredibly self confident people. Any of you athletes listening to this, you know this. The great athletes, you know, have incredible amounts of self confidence. You have to believe in you when it's a battle, when you're a hitter against a pitcher or when you're a quarterback against a defense, or you're a defenseman in the NHL against their best offensive player or you're a golfer and you have to make a nine foot putt to win a tournament, right? You better have self confidence. In fact, the separator more often than not at the highest level in sports is not they're a better shooter or a better putter or throw the ball a little bit faster because everybody throws hard in the major leagues nowadays. It seems right that separators their self confidence. It's true in being a parent, it's true in being a business person, it's true in every area of our life. The same separator at the top levels is self confidence. So now you have that first thing that you're going to commit to that you're going to deliver on. Now what I would ask you to do that now that you've done that is if you really want to build self confidence, can you begin to extend that list of five, eight and ten things that you are going to begin to do that you commit to you, that you're going to do every single day to begin to stack that self confidence? That's going to change it. Now let's go back to the self doubt for a second. Self doubt is the inverse of that. I don't trust me, I don't think I'm good enough. These are thoughts placed from the outside inside your mind. The minute you acknowledge that that's not my thought, that's someone else's, that's not, you begin to eliminate. I call it like scratching the cd. When I begin to have negative self talk, negative thoughts. I literally picture and I'm old by the way, but I picture an old record player or a DVD and I just scratch it. I scratch it, that thought gets scratched. I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm not good looking enough. I am, I'm not fast enough, strong enough, I'm not prepared enough. Once they enter, that's not my thought, that's something someone gave me when I was a kid. And I scratch it and I literally say to myself scratch it, scratch it, scratch it. And over time it's like a DVD or a CD or a record player. Over time that thought can't be played again in your recorder when you scratch it enough times. So I literally picture scratching and I say scratch it. I experience self doubt, I experience negative thoughts and I scratch them. I scratch them, I scratch them. And over time it almost becomes funny. It's that thought's impact on me starts to be minimized. Over time, every time I scratch it, I picture scratching it like a DVD or a record or a cd. And I say it to myself, scratch it, scratch it, scratch it. And what it does is it acknowledges the thought. It loses its power over me. The first time it still got some impact on me. The second time it might. But the fourth, fourth, fifth, seventh time, all of a sudden that thought just doesn't have the impact on me anymore because I acknowledge it's not mine. I've scratched it. And over time my mind just doesn't want to play that song anymore, doesn't want to play that movie anymore. And so that's how I begin to eliminate those thoughts in my mind. I build up my self confidence and I scratch my self doubt. There's also this misconception from people that you are certain things. Meaning some people have this misconception that I am what I possess. In other words, I am my possessions. And so they link their self confidence to their possessions. And so they're constantly trying to acquire more and more possessions, thinking that's where they get their self confidence from. That's how they're defined as a person. I am my possessions couldn't be further from the truth. It's a hollow way to try to gain self confidence by possessing things. Nothing wrong with going for material possessions. I have all kinds of them, but I don't link my confidence to those possessions. Nor am I deluded into thinking if I could just possess more things then I'll feel better about myself. So this is a mistake. There's a flawed thought. Number one, flawed thought, I am my possessions. Second flawed thought. I am my accomplishments. In other words, my self confidence is only linked to what I accomplish. So because I haven't accomplished certain things, I don't have that certain title, that certain award, that certainly that certain recognition. I don't believe in myself. I'm riddled with self doubt. I'm defined by my accomplishments. The difficult thing about that is now all your life you're going to have to accomplish more and more and more in order to feel self confident, eliminate self doubt. You are not your accomplishments, you are not your possessions. You are you. You are perfect, you are beautiful. You were born to do something great with your life. If you're a person of faith like me, you do you believe God made you in his image and likeness and wants you to do something great with your life. Not that you are your possessions, not that you are your accomplishments. And this is the social media insidious influence it has in our lives. People think I don't feel good about myself. I've got this self doubt. The gateway to me feeling more self confidence is if I could possess more things or if I could accomplish more things. Yes, having nice things will make you feel better about yourself. Yes, accomplishing things certainly is a reinforcement for self confidence, but it's not the pathway to getting it. The pathway to getting it is doing something great with your life where you keep the promises you make to yourself and acknowledge this self doubt, this self thought, this negative talk isn't even mine. It was given to me when it was impossible for me to defend myself as a child and maybe it even happened in adolescence. And probably some of those incidences have happened for you as an adult. And these ones as an adult are like that thing I said earlier. Oh, it's another time I reinforce the table. I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough, I'm not prepared enough. I'm not the right race, I'm not the right gender. I don't come from the right kind of family. I don't have the right education. And we find these references as adults to reinforce these self doubting beliefs we were given by somebody else as a child. Flawed belief is that you are your possessions, you are your accomplishments. Third flawed belief. I am what other people say I am.

[Ed Mylett]

Wrong.

[Brendan Burchard]

You are not what other people say you are. Good or bad. I see too many people that if someone says something negative about them, they believe that's who they are. This is the flawed third belief. I am my possessions, I am my accomplishments and you know what or I am what other people say I am. Let me be clear with you. You are not what other people tell you you are. It wasn't true when you were 18 months old, old, 5 years old, or 55 years old. You are not what other people say you are. So stop letting that dictate your self confidence or fill you with self doubt. And for the record, you are also not the good things people tell you you are all the time. Don't live for likes. Don't live for comments on your social media. Don't do things in your life just to solicit someone saying something great about you. It's a cheap, shallow, hollow way to try to gain self esteem and self confidence. It's fleeting, it's short term and it's needy. In fact, the fact that it is a necessity for you to get liked, to get people to say good things, to get comments on your social media, or to do so in your presence indicates a Lack of self esteem and self confidence. Because we know self confidence is an internal game where we keep the promises we make to ourselves. The fourth type of flawed thinking is I am what I look like. In other words, if I don't look a certain way, like what the magazine says I should or social media says I should, if I don't look like these people, I shouldn't have self confidence. And that's ridiculous. I can tell you straightforwardly, you're beautiful as you are. Especially the ladies listening to this or watching this. The world is constantly trying to get you to believe you're not enough. You don't look right, you should lose this weight, you should gain this. This should be smaller, that should be bigger. Whatever it might be, they're constantly messaging women, you're not enough. You're not enough. You're not enough. You are what you look like. And this is true for men as well. Let me tell you straightforward, that you are not what you look like. You are your soul, you are your spirit, you are your gifts. You are the contributions you make. You are your intentions. You are perfect as you are. That doesn't mean we don't want to look better, doesn't mean we don't want to get into shape, but we want to do that to feel better about ourselves. Ourselves, not for the accolades from other people. We want to do that to feel healthier and stronger and be the ultimate version of ourselves. But by no means does that mean you're not perfect as you are. By no means does it mean you are defined by what you look like. You are not defined by what you look like. You are defined by the content of your character, the way you treat other people, and the difference you make in the world. So the four flawed thoughts that I see most right now is I am my possessions. No, you're not. I am my accomplishments. No, you're not. I am what other people tell me I am and say I am good or bad. No, you are not. And fourth, you are not what you look like. These are flawed beliefs that lead right to self doubt and away from self confidence. So the things we need to do to change our self confidence is a, keep the promises we make to ourself and B, very important, we must begin to give ourselves credit for those things when we deliver on them. I want you to remember this as well. There's a power to the way we use the two Bs, our brain and our body. See, self confidence can also be a state, a physical state. It's very difficult when you're moving your body, sitting up straight, breathing deeply. Right. You're in that physical strong state of being. Right. Right after a workout. During a workout is when we feel our most confident because our body's at a peak state. One way to generate self confidence is to move your body into a strong state of being. Move your body literally. Literally. Movement creates confidence. If you think about some of the peak times of your life, whether that be the fun time you may be having with your partner, physically, intimately, or laughter or peak performance running. Right. Or your great accomplishments. Yes, there's a commonality to the way our body is moving at that time. If you think about the times when you're the least confident, usually when you wake up in the morning, isn't it? It's the most down, the most fearful, the most anxiety or before you go to bed at night. These are two times most people experience. The most amount of self doubt is right before bed and right when they wake up. Isn't that interesting? One of the reasons is because of how we're moving. We're laying down, we're hunched over, our breathing is shallow, there's no physical movement whatsoever. This creates a state of self doubt right before we sleep, right when we wake up, or if you're just kind of depressed or sick, self doubt starts to kick in, doesn't it? Right. If you ever had an injury and you couldn't move like you'd like to, that stagnation of the body begins to create self doubt and strips us of our self confidence. So moving our body is a gateway to self confidence and then our brain as well. We have to take control of our thoughts. We have to scratch the negative ones when they come in and replace them with great ones. Now, I don't believe self talk works all the time. But I believe saying I am strong, I am good, I intend. I'm a good man, my intentions are pure. I'm a good person, I make a difference in the world. I'm kind, I'm gentle, I'm generous, I'm strong, I'm faithful. Beginning to repeat these thoughts to myself. And these words do generate self confidence. I keep the promises I make to myself. I'm a man of my word. Begin to talk to yourself and think these thoughts. When you combine your brain and your body scratch the self doubt, you lose those four stupid beliefs. I am my accomplishments, I am my possessions. I am what other people say I am or I am what I look like. These are completely flawed beliefs. We scratch those. We scratch them. We understand the process of Stacking self confidence in our life. We know we are the content of our character. And lastly, give yourself some credit, will you please? And I'm going to tell you where to give yourself credit and that is in the area of your intentions. A lot of my confidence comes from the fact that I keep the promises I make to myself. I know my self doubt are thoughts that were given to me when I couldn't even defend myself as a young little boy. I know that I'm not my accomplishments. I know I'm not my possessions. I know I'm not what I look like. And I know I'm not what other people say I am. I understand the process of building self confidence. I scratch the negative thoughts in my life. But I can tell you this, the last place I get my confidence from is my faith and my intentions. See, I know I intend to do good. Not enough of you are giving yourself credit for your inherent goodness. And I mean this. You're special in that regard. You're perfect in that regard. Just ask yourself, what are your intentions as an individual, as a man or a woman? Do you intend to do good in the world? Do you intend to want to help people? Do you intend to be a light in people's lives? Do you intend to make a difference? Do you want to live a good life where you've helped change the world and change other people's lives? Have you ever just asked yourself that? Do you? Because if the answer that is, you know, I don't spend enough time thinking about how good my intentions are. I don't want to hurt people. I don't want to do bad things. I don't want to take advantage of others. I really intend to do good.

[Ed Mylett]

You know what?

[Brendan Burchard]

You need to give yourself more credit for the power of your intentions. There's a power in life of giving ourselves credit just for the intentions we have. Just ask yourself that. There's two types of people in life. There's the people who intend to do harm, to take advantage of people to cheat, to cut corners, to cause hurt to others for what they think will be their own gain. Then there's people who want to be a light. They want to make a difference. They want to help, they want to contribute, they want to be somebody. They want to honor their God. They want to make a difference in the world and their intentions are good. Too often in life, people with great intentions don't give themselves credit for how beautiful and wonderful those intentions are. And so today, just take this inventory of all the things that are wonderful about your intentions and then just take an inventory of your faith. As a person of faith, I know that I'm favored. I know that God wants me to do good in the world. I know that I was made in his image and likeness. There's a power to that, there's a comfort to that. There's a confidence that comes from that kind of a swagger. See, people aren't smirking at me anymore. I'm smirking at them. See, I know I'm not what I look like. I know I'm not my possessions. I know I'm not my accomplishments. I'm not what other people say I am. I understand the keys of keeping the promises I make to myself. I understand scratching those limiting beliefs. I know I intend to do good. I don't always do good. I make mistakes all the time. I'm not a deity, I'm not a God, I'm a man. But I intend to do good. And my guess is, so do you. Start to give yourself a little credit just for your intentions, know you're perfect as you are, and then begin to take these massive action steps. The final piece of the puzzle is this, is that you have to believe you deserve to win. And sometimes it's not just that we think we're good, but that we've done so much we must be worthy of winning. See, there's this adage in life. Good people in life won't take more from the table of life than they think they're worthy of and they deserve. See, in business, sometimes short term, we've all seen this. Someone with bad intentions can get ahead short term, but you always reap what you sow. Karma is always a real thing. And eventually the people that take shortcuts, that cheat, that hurt other people, that have ill intent, the world, the universe, God sort of finds a way eventually to get them where they're supposed to be. But good people will never take more than they think they're worth. Which is why the mandatory requirement for good people to win is they believe they deserve it. They believe they're worth winning. And sometimes it's not just who we are that we need to believe in, but what we've done in this sense that sometimes you've got to outwork everybody and you've got to be willing to do the things nobody else is willing to do. So you begin to convince yourself, man, I'm doing all the things everybody else is unwilling to do. So I deserve to get the results other people aren't going to get. I'm doing the things other people aren't willing to do. I'm paying a price that's so much greater than other people that I'm worth it, that I deserve to get results they don't deserve to get because I've been willing to do the things they've been unwilling to do. So the last piece is often self confidence can just frankly come from outworking everybody and convincing ourselves, man, I've been doing the things nobody else is willing to do. I deserve to get the results nobody else deserves to get. And that's a shift in building self confidence. There's really not a lot of words.

[Ed Mylett]

To introduce this man. I was thinking about it driving out.

[Brendan Burchard]

Here for the interview today. I've been on the earth 50 years.

[Ed Mylett]

And I believe this one human being.

[Brendan Burchard]

That I'm going to introduce to you.

[Ed Mylett]

In a minute has positively affected and changed more people's lives in those 50 years than any other human being on the spinning earth. Tony Robbins, welcome to the show again, brother.

[Tony Robbins]

Thank you, Ed. But that introduction, waiting for Jesus to.

[Ed Mylett]

Walk out, I want to go right to it. If I'm going to get you on the show, I want to really help as many people I know and serve.

[Brendan Burchard]

As many people as you do.

[Ed Mylett]

And you've gone right to it. We're in this time where there's so much uncertainty externally in people's lives. What's happening on with the pandemic? Masks, no masks. All the political discourse, all this stuff, this noise, this uncertainty. And I think there's so much angst and anxiety in our culture right now. So many people listening to this or watching it right now. What would you say to them that.

[Brendan Burchard]

Are experiencing those emotions right now?

[Ed Mylett]

What advice would you give them?

[Tony Robbins]

They got to turn off the news. I know that sounds overly simplistic, but you got to at least turn it off a little bit so you can get a breath. Because unfortunately, today it's hard to turn it off since it follows you. I mean, most people seeing the social dilemma, they understand that literally you are being tracked in every single thing you speak, say, do, and everything you're going to see. And it's different. If you type in global warming and you're one person, you're getting a complete different set of answers than if you type in global person warming and you're another person. So we're living in a world where it's hard to find truth. And so the first place you got to realize is you can't control the outside world. You can influence it, but we can control the inside world. And if you get yourself overwhelmed, it's because all this is coming at you. You got to slow it down, stop it, and say, now what am I going to create out of this insanity? Because that's the great thing that happens. I know it sounds, you know, optimistic or. And I think you know me well enough. I'm not one of those positive thinkers. I've never been. I believe in intelligence. I believe in seeing things as they are, but not worse than it is. So you don't try. But then you got to see it better than it is, or you can't make it better. And then you got to go to work and get the right strategies to make it happen. So for me, it's really slow it down. And everyone needs a compelling future. What I mean by that, anybody can deal with a tough today if they have a compelling tomorrow. But what's happened is there are a large number of people that after the first run of 2020, we were coming into January, and I remember that, and people are like, all right, now, it's a new world. It's a new life. It's going to go great. And then all of a sudden, more people died in 2021 with vaccines and with all these details that we have. And so people are uncertain. And now we got Omicron, and people are making it like the great plague. When, if you actually look at the science, the vast majority are showing it's more like a cold or a really gentle flu, but it doesn't matter. We're tracking everything. Now, if you imagine if we were tracking the flu constantly and where it was, we don't test everybody, so we don't freak out all the time. So what are you going to do to create a compelling future for yourself? What do you really want this year to be about? Regardless of what's going on in the outside world, you might say, well, Tony, that's easy to say, but they're controlling my business or they're shutting me down. Here you can move. You can make new choices. I know they're not easy ones, but you got to get to the point where you say, I won't settle for less than I can really do, be, share, create, and give in my life for my family, for myself, for what I want for my life. There's a point we got to say, enough is enough, and you got to start to take control.

[Brendan Burchard]

How do you do that? One of the things that you say.

[Ed Mylett]

That I love is fear is physical.

[Brendan Burchard]

And what I learned from you so.

[Ed Mylett]

Many years ago, that transformed my Life is to begin to learn, to change my state with my physiology.

[Brendan Burchard]

Yes, everything in my life starts with my physiology from my fitness. But also when I'm feeling something I.

[Ed Mylett]

Don'T want to feel, I try to shift my physiology.

[Brendan Burchard]

And I just heard you recently say this, so I'd like you to speak to it, that fear is also a physical thing.

[Ed Mylett]

I want you to elaborate a little bit about that.

[Tony Robbins]

Well, first of all, if you're concerned about COVID according to the cdc, and I have this in my new book, the number one issue besides age, obviously the number one piece is being overweight or obese. That is number one. And just this week, CNN New York Times, for the first time, two years later, coming and saying, you can reduce your risk if you take care of your body. Right. Do you know what number two is, according to the cdc? Fear. Because when you get fearful, it changes your breathing, your body temperature, your tension in your body, all these things can create a trigger of reactions, hormones in your body that make you crazy. So when I say fear is physical, here's what I mean. Fear is physical, by the way, so is courage. Emotions are physical. If you're really scared, have you ever been that point where you're like, freaked out about something and you can't quite fully swallow or you got that feeling in your gut?

[Ed Mylett]

Certainly.

[Tony Robbins]

But courage is also physical. That's what you're talking about. Like, it's like I trained myself from a very young age that the number one thing I had to do so I would follow through on the things we're talking about here, is I had to have a mind and body that were strong together, that every day I was going to do something to strengthen my body, even if it was just 10 minutes or 15 minutes, something was going to shift me physiologically to do that. And so I, you know, I get scared or I get frustrated and I go on a run, I go on a sprint, and I wasn't in shape. Didn't matter. I pushed myself beyond what I was comfortable with. I go lift weights and I pushed beyond what I was comfortable with. And when you do that, everything in your nervous system changes. Because all of a sudden, when you face something and you push beyond the comfort zone, you get stronger and stronger. Even a little bit each day changes things. So think about it. Courage. That's not. You're not afraid because there'd be no need for courage. Courage is you're scared shitless, but you do it anyway. And so training your body, and you and I both do this, right, we Train intensely. Because we know this is the resource through which my mind's going to try to make decisions. And then the second thing is every day you got to feed your brain your mind. Because if you don't, crap is going in there automatically. We all know that, right? Today it's chasing you. Because we all know the news knows they're not bad people, they're good people. They're just doing their job. Their job is make sure they make as much money for their shareholders. And they know one formula works. And it's pretty obvious these last two years more than ever, if it bleeds, it leads, if it produces fear, more people watch. It's because we all have a 2 million year old brain that's always looking for what's wrong, what can hurt us. But your 2 million year old brain is not going to make you happy, right? You have to take control of that 2 million year old brain and start to direct consciously what you want your life to be. So changing your body radically by a workout, by a run, by a push, by whatever you're going to do, shifting by feeding your brain every single day and then making sure every day you're taking some form of action towards a compelling future. What am I going to make better? If you have nothing to look forward to, you're going to be pissed off, you're going to be frustrated, you're going to be depressed, you're going to be overwhelmed. And in those emotional states, even though you're a smart person and you know lots of things, you won't use anything, you know. So to me, the leverage to changing somebody's life is always starting with the human body. If I started to speak to you, and I spoke more at this tempo and I said, yeah, I really think people should get their act together and make this their best year ever, right? I feel terrible in my body now. I'm not saying everybody needs to talk fast or loud like me, that's my own physiology. But it's kind of trained. But everyone has different gears. And when you're low gear, it's like you can be in a great relationship, somebody you totally love, and you're both in a great physical state, emotional state, everything's great. You both get a little low from taking the kids to 20 soccer practices and casual problems in the business and all that stuff. And all of a sudden, same love doesn't feel like the same love. You still love each other, but it doesn't come across across. Maybe you're both stressed out, then it creates problems in the Relationship. So the most important factor in your life is the ability to manage your mental emotional state is the one thing you have complete control of. Once you learn how, then it becomes just the daily discipline. And after. And it's not even discipline. It just becomes habit to say, I'm not going to live in this lousy pace. I'm not going to put up with it. I know what to do. Let me do it. Let me move forward. But that's why, you know, I do programs and events where I immerse people. Yeah. Because, you know, you and I can talk about this human. It's kind of nod your head, but if I put you in an experience. Correct. I always tell people a belief is a poor substitute for an experience. You can have a belief about China. I take you to China. You're going to have an experience. It's very different. So I think human beings need to put themselves more in experiences. A lot of us today, especially with COVID being stuck at home and doing business from home, a lot of people are stuck in their head. I tell people, get in your head, you're dead. You'll just go in circles. You got to get that body and that energy moving, and then your head will start to work as well.

[Ed Mylett]

Okay, so you've all been listening now.

[Brendan Burchard]

For, say, 10 minutes.

[Ed Mylett]

There's two things already. Number one, do you have this compelling future? If someone asked you right now, what's that vision for your future? Second thing is, what are you doing.

[Brendan Burchard]

In your body to create a change, to anchor things, to change your state?

[Ed Mylett]

The third thing was Tony talked about his events.

[Brendan Burchard]

And I just.

[Ed Mylett]

I want to get this out on the table right away.

[Brendan Burchard]

One of the most incredible things is.

[Ed Mylett]

You'Ve done events for literally millions of.

[Brendan Burchard]

People from every continent, every country on the planet. And I mean, what I said. I'm not saying that because we're friends. I just. I think you've positively affected more lives than any person that I'm aware of.

[Tony Robbins]

That's.

[Ed Mylett]

That's just true. And the fact that you now are.

[Brendan Burchard]

Offering a free event, it's just bananas to me. I mean, it's incredible to me. So I think it starts on January 25th.

[Ed Mylett]

But I want people to know about.

[Brendan Burchard]

This because this could be that catalyst to help create that compelling future and maybe transcend your environment. So tell us just a little bit about that event.

[Tony Robbins]

I'll tell you why I did it. I did it after 2020, about halfway through the year, people were just so depressed. You saw people gaining weight. People had no clear idea what they're going to do. So I said, okay, I'm going to do an event for the whole world. Let's just. Let's use YouTube. Let's use all the different tools that we can. Let's bring them all together. And we had 400,000 people. And I was like, let me do one for three hours. But I'm not really capable of that. So I was like, we'll do two days. Two days for 90 minutes. And then I made it five days. And the reason I do that is not because I like to talk. It's because you need a certain amount of immersion. It's like learning a language. If you only learn a little bit at a time, you don't remember it two years later. But if I put you in Rome day and night for a month, you're going to come out speaking Italian. So that's my theory. So what I did was I did five days. We had 400,000 people join us. And every day we took a part of their body, their emotions, their relationships. And the goal is get them a new perspective because it's hard to do that when you're at home, but not when you're in this audience, literally, of almost half a million people. Last year, we did it again. We had 860,000 people join me for five days. So I'm doing one final one because I praying this is the last of COVID But I really want to help people here at the beginning of the year because you see so many people now are caught up in what I call learned helplessness. When you've been disappointed, oh, you got a gut check. But most people pick themselves back up. But if you get disappointed enough times, there's a point when your brain goes, the problem's permanent or it's pervasive because I can't turn my business around, My whole life is over, which is not true or it's personal. There's something wrong with me. And so I want to break those patterns and give people a direct experience.

[Ed Mylett]

My guest today, he's been a friend of mine for almost 30 years. I was thinking about as I was prepping for this. I've known him for 30 years.

[Tony Robbins]

Holy cow.

[Ed Mylett]

So, Tony Robbins, welcome back to the show.

[Tony Robbins]

Brother Ed, Good to see you, man.

[Ed Mylett]

You said something earlier about, you know, with the Russell 2000, 40% are not doing anything.

[Brendan Burchard]

They're losing money. And we're sort of hoping that hope is not a strategy, is something I learned from you many, many years ago.

[Ed Mylett]

Regarding life as well. I think more Than ever, Tony, people feel a sense of. Because you and I are in the same world. We coach some of the same people. We have the same sorts of people.

[Brendan Burchard]

Come to our events more than ever. I feel like people feel like they.

[Ed Mylett]

Can'T get control over their lives, and that's why the financial piece is so important.

[Brendan Burchard]

And I'm wondering what your thoughts are if you were to give somebody castle.

[Ed Mylett]

First coming to this event, but where would they begin?

[Brendan Burchard]

Obviously, I know you talk a lot about mind and body.

[Ed Mylett]

You talk about having role models that.

[Brendan Burchard]

Are important, but kind of turn the floor over to you. Someone's listening. They're like, hey, man, you know, I want to get control. My life. That the money part? Awesome. What about my life?

[Ed Mylett]

What about my emotions?

[Brendan Burchard]

What about my family?

[Ed Mylett]

What would you say to them?

[Tony Robbins]

I think the first thing you got to do is you got to create a compelling future. What I mean by that is anybody can deal with difficult today if they have a compelling tomorrow. Right now, there's so much fear in the world that people are afraid. I hear millennials talking about they don't want to have kids because they want to bring them this world that's such a terrible world. There's so much violence. There's less violence today in the world, even though we have this horrible war that's going on. Two of them now. There's more than two. But the two that most people are familiar with with, obviously what's happening over there in Russia and Ukraine and also what's happening in Israel and Gaza. But we have less of that than we've ever had even in the middle of this. But the fear is bigger. The promotion of it, the watching about it, the arguing about all that is enhanced by the way that we live today and the fears that are today. So what I tell people is you need to create a compelling future. You need to understand whether you're on the path or not. I mean, think about the hero's journey just for a second. What is the hero's journey? You're living your life over and over, and it's boring. You can pick any great story of humanity. All the same stories. They're all the hero story at some level. And then something disrupts it. Something creates a challenge. It's the call to become more. It's the call to go on adventure. You might have lost your job. You may have lost money. You may have been told you got cancer. You might have gone through a divorce. You know, there's a. That's. We look at it as a terrific Experience, But I've experienced. I know you have as well. Multiple experiences. Someone telling me, you know, I buried, you know, three fathers and a mother. You know, I've been in a place where they said, hey, you got a tumor in your brain. You're not. You may not survive. I've been in those moments that were scary as hell, but they were calls to be able to grow. And then you go on the journey. And as you go on the journey, it's amazing when you commit to grow, when you commit to figure it out, you get yourself on that path. What's going to happen is you're going to meet mentors, you're going to meet people along the way that'll show up, that can help you. And you're going to have to face your dragons. You're going to have to see what is it that you're is stopping you. So I look at it this way. The first step, if you want to make your relationship better or your business better, your emotion, anything that you value, your finances better, the first step to being on the path. Am I on the path or not? Like, the first one is, do you know what you really want? As simplistic as that is, most people know what they don't want. And so where focus goes, energy flows. So the first step is like, what do I really want? Why do I want it? Because the why is even more important than what it's like. New Year's, right? People set their goals or their New Year's resolutions, and by February, they're gone, right? They're already broken them because they just were expressing what they wanted, not why they wanted. They didn't get enough reasons to push themselves through, and it was difficult and they didn't have a good plan. So the first thing is, what I want, why do I want it? Who do I got to become to make that happen? And you get crystal clear, now you're on the path. What's the second step of the path? Now you gotta be honest. You gotta get to the truth and tell yourself the truth about the gap. Because all of us have a gap between where we are and where we want to be. If you want to close that gap quickly, the only way to do it is to be honest. The truth sets you free. So you get clear, where am I really compared to where I want to be and why? What's prevented me in the past from losing that weight, from making that money, from having a relationship last, from growing that business? And there's only a few things that prevent you. It's fear. It's. And there's all kinds of fears, but fear, it's limiting beliefs. Well, I've never done it before. I don't know what to do. I'm not that kind of person. I don't know numbers. All my relationships end up. All the good ones are gone. Whatever the belief is, there's a limiting belief. There's a fear, or there's some other primer emotion in the way, or it's a habit, or. The fifth one is you're missing a skill, like learning to invest as a skill. If you don't take the time to learn it, you're going to be in pain, right? Because you're going to always be trying to earn it. And most people think, well, I'll make so much money that I'll never have to worry about when I hit the big thing. Well, the people that make the hit the big thing, the athletes, the entertainers, usually are broke. Twenty years later, you've seen it over and over and over again because they made the big dollars, they have the big overhead, but they never learned how to make money while they sleep. They never learned to be an owner, right, an investor. They just made income, and no income is enough. Mike Tyson's a friend of mine. Mike made a billion dollars over his career, just short of a billion dollars and lost it all. You know, I can give you 50 cent. 50 cent made all this money. He bought Mike's house, and then he went broke. Give you an idea, you know, Elton John overspent and lost all the money he had. Unfortunately, made it back eventually to make that happen. I mean, it is. That is not the solution that you need. So if you really want to transform, you get on the path, figure out what's missing. Then what do you do? Now you come up with a, you know, a quick plan. Not a perfect plan, but a quick plan to attack it with massive action. And then what do you do? Now you got to face your dragons. You got to make the changes that are necessary. Then you have some daily practices. There's like seven steps to this. You measure and you celebrate and you begin again. So I teach people the exact path. And if you're not on the path, it's scary. If you're not on the path to financial security or freedom, it's scary. If you're not on the path to quality relationship or you're on a path right now that's leading to pain, you better educate yourself. But you got to start with what you want and why you want it, Then you Got to see what's wrong with you, not your partner. What's the challenge, what's the habit, what's the emotion, what's the triggers. Got to take a little action plan. You got to make the changes. And this process, the hero's journey. As you go on the journey, you become more by facing these challenges, you learn and you grow. And then you bring that back home and you experience, you know, the rewards of being the hero in your own life. And that's in essence what people need to be able to do. And it's not that hard because there's patterns, there's certain patterns that work. I don't care what the color of your skin is, how old you are or young you are. I don't care what your nationality is, I don't care what gender you are or your sexual preference. These are the laws of life. If you understand the laws and you align with them, you do well. So one of the reasons we do this three day process is in three days, for just two and a half, three hours a day, people are able to get clear what they want exactly in each of these areas, they get clear what's gotten in the way, they come up with their plan, they start to face their demons and they move the ball forward. And that's how you get the kind of results that we've seen people get that are just mind boggling. You know that people just came and spent three days with us and if they want to go deeper, they can go to some other event. But we don't hold it back. It's not partially free. It's totally free. And I encourage people not only come and do this because it's January 25th through the 27th, it's right around the time your new resolutions, you had them are probably going out the window. And you can do it with your friends or you can do with your family together. You can do it from home, you don't have to travel, you don't have an expense, or you go to the office and do it with a group of your friends at the office type of thing. But I promise you the experience you won't forget. So you just, you know, if you get yourself in immersion, that's how it changes. The problem is people try to a little bit at a time. It's like trying to learn a language a little bit at a time. People that learn language and high school and college usually don't speak it 10 years later. But if I dumped you in Italy with no teacher and said, I'm picking you up in 90 days because you're seeing it, breathing it, being around it, around all day long. In immersion, you learn the language. This is the Ed Milan Show.