← THE ED MYLETT SHOW
THE ED MYLETT SHOW
Why Losing Sight of What Matters Steals Your Drive—and How to Reclaim It Feat. Brendon Burchard
00:52:33
Loading summary
Transcript33 lines
- [00:00]
A
So, hey guys, listen. We're all trying to get more productive and the question is, how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth based environment, that you're much more likely to grow and you're going to grow faster. And that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Burchard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down growthday.com forward/ed. So if you want to be more productive, by the way, he's asked me, I post videos in there every single Monday that gets your day off to the right start. Got about $5,000, $10,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with the app. Also, some of the top influencers in the world are all posting content in there on a regular basis, like having the avengers of personal development and business in one app. And I'm honored that he asked me to be a part of it as well and contribute on a weekly basis. And I do. So go over there and get signed up. You're going to get a free tuition, free voucher to go to an event with Brendan and myself and a bunch of other influencers as well. So you get a free event out of it also. So go to growthday.com forward/ed. That's growthday.comed. this episode is brought to you by Google Gemini. With the Gemini app, you can talk live and have a real time conversation with an AI assistant. It's great for all kinds of things like if you want to practice for an upcoming interview, ask for advice on things to do in a new city, or brainstorm creative ideas. And by the way, this script was actually read by Gemini. Download the Gemini app for iOS and Android today. Must be 18 + to use Gemini Live. This is the Ed Miler show. All right, welcome back to the show, everybody. So y'all wait for this. Once a month I get to spend my podcast with my great friend and your mentor, Brendon Bruchard. He's back on the show today. Guys, we have an unbelievable podcast ready for you. Brendan is the top guy in the world that mentors all the other influencers in personal development and business, entrepreneurship, motivation, inspiration. He's the guy that mentors the mentors. He just is. And he's one of my dearest and best friends. I wish you could be privy to the conversations we had just before we came online here today because they're some of the most enriching ones in my life. He just feeds my soul and my spirit and my mind, and that's going to happen on today's show. So, Brennan Burchard, welcome back, brother.
- [02:18]
B
Thanks, brother. This is an honor to be with you. And every time we do this, I get fired up. So let's hit it.
- [02:23]
A
So what we're going to talk about today, guys, is getting your performance edge back, and if you never had it before, getting your performance edge. So this should be really great stuff for those of you that want to know more about that, obviously, because, you know, Brendan's books are basically about this. My favorite of all of Brennan's books is High Performance Habits, and so he's sort of the guru on this. We're going to go back and forth on that topic. But, Brennan, let's just start out with this. When I say performance edge, I think someone thinks, oh, athlete. But when I say get your performance edge back, what's the first thing you think of? And maybe the first set of things you would say to somebody about getting it back if they've lost it or getting it for the first time, if they've never had it? Yeah.
- [03:03]
B
I think for most people, it's inner fire. It's that inner fire that you have to do things. It's that inner fire that feels like enthusiasm or passion that makes you actually feel motivated and driven. Like performance edge is. I'm driven to do this thing, and I love it so much. I want to do it with excellence. I want to be sharp at it.
- [03:27]
A
Yeah, right. When.
- [03:28]
B
When some. When you think of, like, an athlete and they have performance edge, it's like they love that sport and they have that hunger and drive to win. Yeah, well, in our regular life. Hey, how's your Monday? You know, when you wake up on Monday, do you have the performance edge? Do you want to go to work? Are you excited to do things? And when people lose that inner fire, it's scary. They were like, did I lose my purpose? Is there something wrong with me? You know, I used to have energy. Is my testosterone down? I mean, you start asking all these health questions.
- [04:01]
A
True.
- [04:02]
B
You start wondering if you've lost your purpose. When people lose their performance edge over a period of time, it's. It's very scary. And they get very concerned, and it's very discouraging because sometimes people go, I don't know. I used to have so much hunger, Brendan, and I used to be so motivated to do things, and. And now I've lost it. I don't know what to do.
- [04:23]
A
Yeah. In my case, it's interesting you say about your reasoning for doing something. I'll share something with you and the audience. This podcast takes a lot of time and you work so hard on it. I work hard on it. And, and to do this many episodes, everybody just candidly, it. It probably takes more of my time than any of my other businesses and probably more than any of them combined. And so as a consequence of that, every year around the end of the year, I evaluate, should I still be doing this? Do I want to keep going forward? Because I think towards the end of every year, maybe I lose my edge a little bit. And then inevitably, what happens? It just happened to me again this weekend. It's happened the last few weekends when I'm out speaking or I'm in public, someone will come up to me and, well, usually more than just one person and tell me about the impact in a deep way. I'm not talking about like, hey, thanks for the show. I mean, those, you know, those deep ones, Brennan, where they go, here's what this did for my life. And more and more people have been sharing with me that their children listen to the show, their teenage age children, even younger than that, all the way to their college children. Many families share the episodes amongst their family. And what happens then is it's reconnected. We me with why I do this. And all of a sudden I feel that edge coming back. There's a vibration that happens to me when I'm reconnected with why I do it. And so I think the first step, you're 100% right in getting that edge back is really reconnecting with why you're doing something, why you're in that relationship, why you really go to the gym. Let's just be honest, you probably originally went to lose some weight or to get fit or to feel better about yourself or to compete for some sport. And now you just go to the gym and maybe your business or your career, you're a school teacher, and originally it was to change young people's lives and to make that difference. But old, over time, you're just going to school to teach or you're just doing your business. And so it's important today to reevaluate why and. And also the reason for doing it may change. And holding on to an old reason that's never. That doesn't have the juice for you anymore, maybe you need to reconnect with a new why you're doing what you do. And anything you do to give yourself that edge. Because I have to tell you, I'm now more excited about this next year of doing the show. More excited than the episodes because me to think that many of you share this episode with your children. I came home and told everybody in my family. The more and more I've been hearing this and it I picture now as I'm doing the show of a. A 10 year old or a 8 year old or even a 30 year old son of a 55 year old listener sharing the show and it's like, man, I'm juiced to do it again. So my first thing I would say, Brennan's right is what's the why? Like really your purpose, really the re and the deep one, the one that kind of moves you to tears, the one that you hope lives past your lifetime here. What's your why? And you hold me accountable to this, which is important. I lose my edge. So I look at like how to get it back is how do you lose it? And every time I break a promise to myself, I lose a little bit of my edge. And I'll give you an idea. I'll give you an example of it today. I weighed in on Saturday. I weighed myself Saturday and I did not like the number on there. Now this may seem extreme and dramatic, everybody, because I'm extreme and dramatic, but I went, I'm fasting for three days. I came downstairs, told Christian, I said, I'm not eating for three days. I'm going on a water fast. She's like, you're crazy. I go, yep. And I'm doing it. And that's easy to say and hard to do. So guess what I did yesterday? I fasted all day. I didn't eat. I. It's the cleansing of your spirit. There's all kinds of reasons to do it. Drank a bunch of water and felt really good about myself. Got up this morning, some hunger pains were there. I got through the morning and then right before we started to record, I'm like, you know what won't hurt me to have a banana. And I ate a banana. I'm just confessing to the world about me eating the banana. And I broke a promise to myself. And every time I do that, I lose a little bit of my edge. So the inverse of that is when I start keeping the promises of I make to myself. And I mean even the small ones, even the ones that seem trivial, like what does breaking a fast have to do with making millions of dollars in business? Everything. Because I break down a little bit of my self trust every time I do that. When you keep promises to yourself, you begin to build a reputation with yourself and frankly others that you will do what you say you're going to do. And even in our relationship with Ultra and growth Day, which we'll talk about here in a minute, with this amazing model that you have in business that changes people's lives, you've had to hold me accountable multiple times. Hey, we were going to do this and we didn't do that. And every time I do that, as much as we love each other or you were to do that to me, we break down our relationship just a little bit. Just a little bit. So for me, it begins with keeping the promises I make to myself because that gives me my edge. And you lose it when you break them. And everybody listening or watching knows exactly what I'm talking about. What would you say about that? Or add to that as the next thing?
- [09:33]
B
I love it. I love it. When we sense that we're not congruent, it takes away that value ethic we all have of like, oh, I want to be a person of integrity. I want to be the person who follows through on my word. And we're the only ones who hold our own standards. And if we lower those standards and our mind knows we've lowered those standards, we start developing less trust, less strength in our own mind, in our own body, our own spirit over a period of time. You can have those lapses. You can eat the banana once in a while when you're doing something extraordinary like a fast. I get it. But I think what's important for people to hear is like, wow, being congruent and following through is a huge piece. And the other part of the tell in this, I would say first is when people say, well, Brendan, I've lost my motivation. I usually say, no, you just lost sight of what's most important. You still have the drive and the, and, and, and the energy and the passion, the motivation. You're just, you know, dissipating out into distractions. You know, instead of being a headlight beam, you're 50 beams and you're all over the place. And of course, as you're overly extended, guess what? You break your ward more often as you're overly extended, you're overwhelmed more. And the overwhelm doesn't feel like performance drive overwhelm feels scary, frustrating, upsetting, impatient. And so sometimes it's about, okay, what matters the most. Let me narrow that. And you help me do that and you do that. Like we all we always have these conversations just like anybody else.
- [11:12]
A
We do.
- [11:12]
B
I really gotta. I gotta get focused, brother. You know, we both have that. And everyone knows the reason they have to get focused, because when they focus, they feel better. And so I think it's a really important thing. You didn't lose your motivation. You lost your focus on what matters most. And because of that, you became incongruent.
- [11:33]
A
Yes.
- [11:34]
B
And when you become incongruent, your body feels it and senses, and you get down on yourself, and down on yourself doesn't feel like drive. And I'll tell you the ultimate tell that I've noticed with people coaching all these years. A lot of people don't know they've lost their drive because they're actually busy. And they're like, no, no, I'm still driven. I'm doing all these things. And I say, okay, with the things that matter to you. Let me ask a question. Are you still proactive? When we don't have our drive, we're not proactive anymore. We're not as assertive in that area. Some people, they have. They had this dream, and at the beginning, you know, if it was a sales call, they prepared for, like, you know, 20 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour, a day. If it was a pitch, they might prepare weeks. If it was a presentation, they were so looking forward to it. So they prepared and they prepared. And that mental preparation psyched them up. The rehearsal drew motivation.
- [12:38]
A
Yes.
- [12:38]
B
And then they got busy. No mental thought to it, no preparation, no rehearsal. Now they're just showing up and they're going through the motions. They used to psych themselves up. Now they just show up and go through the motions before they. It was so important to them that they were proactive. They were assertive. On a Monday, they knew what they had to do. They had that list. They were proactively planning. Now, because they overly scheduled themselves, they kind of show up. And you know what? If you show up and go through the motions all the time, there's none of that mental. It's like if you're going to go to Paris, if you spend a couple, you know, weeks online getting excited and researching things about Paris. And like, you prepared in your mind about your trip to Paris, you're fired up. When you get to Paris, if you just. Your friend goes, I'm going. Hop on the plane. You go. You're psyched. But it's not the same. There was no mental rehearsal, no proactivity, no excitement. And a lot of people, they just forgot to rehearse the day. They Forgot to get excited about the deal. They forgot to take a few moments to envision the future. And that visioning that you talk about in so many podcasts, I think you're world class of this. That compels a different energy in them. And now that drive is back because they've thought about it, they visualized it, they've stepped it through. Now they can't wait to do it.
- [14:05]
A
That's a billion percent, right? So I call it selling yourself the dream. So you know, everybody, we talk about this why? And very closely correlated that and keeping the promise to yourself is when's the last time you sold yourself the dream? Like, I have to tell you, if you went inside, like, I just shared a weakness where I didn't keep a commitment, something small. But that's how high my standard is of keeping the promises I make to myself. It was an extreme promise. I got about a quarter of the way through and I rationalized my way out. But if I want to tell you what I'm good at, I'm good at selling myself the dream. I am constantly looking at the future and future planning. My life is like that trip to Paris that you just described. And I know it is for you too. I think it's a. I think it's a thing that people that produce abundance in their life are great at that. Maybe they think everybody does, but everybody doesn't. And so not every part of winning is dreaming. But it is amazing to me how rare it is. I think 20 years ago, this was not an issue for a lot of people. Now very few people just take the time consciously like, you may think this is weird, but I still do it to this day. I do dream sell myself on vacations. My daughter and I are going to New York for a daddy daughter thing in December. That future dreaming of what that looks like allows me to focus right now because I know I'm going to get a mental break then. Yeah, I. I still. This may sound weird, it may sound materialistic. I still look online at houses in different places. I wonder, like, to have a ranch in Wyoming. I wonder what it'd be like to go here. Wow. Like Cuomo, Italy, school. And maybe for some of you it's just looking to buy your first home. But I do these things. I look at online and the Christian groups I belong to, the different missions that we could go serve as a family. And friend of mine said the other day, isn't it amazing that we feed the homeless on Christmas Day and Thanksgiving two days a year? What about all the other days, you know, and that made me dream cell about being able to do that. So when's the last time you sold yourself the dream and it. And is it habitual for you? Like, I do this weekly. Like, it's just, it's like a thing I do. I'm constantly selling myself the dream. I'm. I even look at my savings and dream so that it could be bigger. I. I look at the podcast and dream Cell, who the guests would be that I would want to get or the conversation I want to have. This is the juice, everybody, to your life. And it has to become habitual. What do we normally feed ourselves? The tasks we have to do, the meetings that are coming up, the appointments, the things we're worried about, our fears. We feed ourselves plenty of those. And then it's the exception that we sell ourselves the dream. But I'm telling you, you're constantly moving towards your vision. One way or the other, it's going to pull you one direction or the other. And this is a habit. And a lot of people, because maybe you have a history. Listen to me, everybody. Maybe you have a history of not keeping the promises you make to yourself. And so because you had other dreams in your life and you didn't keep those promises, the truth is, maybe you no longer believe you're capable of making dreams come true. So what's the point of having them anyway and feeding yourself just another vision I'm not going to do. Just another thought that's not going to happen. And the truth of the matter is, your past does not equal your future. You can decide today to begin a different path in your life and develop a different edge. For those of you that already have an edge but need to get it back or are pretty edgy right now, want to go to the next level? Here's a little tip, and then I'll throw it back to Bret. Brendan, get better at this. Get better at selling yourself the dream. Best thing you could do is to have a partner in that dream. Selling like what Brendan and I do. We were just talking about Ultra and Growth Day and the vision of growing it and where the company's moving and the decisions he's making to move his business forward. What makes a leader? It's a tough question, but one thing's for sure, A true leader leads by example. And a true leader takes risks, too. They plunge into life with determination. For those who lead by example and who approach life with a palpable passion, there's the Range Rover Sport. Each Range Rover Sport model Offers a dynamic, sophisticated take on sporting luxury. The Range Rover Sport offers focused on road performance and world renowned off road capability with industry leading features like adaptive off road cruise control that monitors ground conditions and acclimates to the present terrain. Agility, control and composure are achieved with dynamic air suspension and adaptive dynamics. Reduces unwanted body movements to deliver smooth and composed handling. True sophistication and excellent maneuverability all on a seriously stylish package. Sophisticated refinement meets visceral power in the Range Rover Sport. A new dimension of sporting luxury. Build your Range Rover Sport atlandrover USA.com so if you're thinking about finding a unique gift this holiday, let me tell you something that could really help the people that you love grow and get better. You can't do any better than Masterclass. Masterclass allows you and your loved ones to learn from the best, to become their best. Take an expert in an industry and they're on Masterclass. It's the only streaming platform where you can learn and grow with over 200 of the world's best at what they do. Learn from any Masterclass instructor anywhere on a smartphone, computer, smart TV or even in audio mode. I have to tell you, I'm doing a cooking thing on there right now because I really want to make better food for the fam and so I'm on there right now doing through a cooking thing and the classes make a difference. 80% of the members feel Masterclass made a positive impact in their life and there's no risk. Every new membership, 30 day money back guarantee. Masterclass always has great offers during the holidays, sometimes as much as 50% off. Head over to masterclass.com mylet for the current offer. That's up to 50% off@masterclass.com mylet masterclass.com mylet and I will tell you, by the way, we should at least mention this before I go to my next point because one way to get that vision and that why and that purpose reconnected is to be in an environment that almost forces it or produces it for you. And you are doing something that I'm going to be speaking at that I'm fired up to be at in late January, the first ultra event of the year. Why don't you tell them a little bit about that? We should at least let them know that you and I are doing something on that.
- [20:08]
B
Yeah, it's related to what we're talking about.
- [20:09]
A
Really.
- [20:09]
B
It's, it's Ultra Miami, the end of January. We're doing a vision workshop for your entire 2025. So come out, spend two days, me and Ed, working on your life and on your business, coaching you to level up. We call it ultra because everyone wants to become ultra successful, but they often don't know how to do that without compromising themselves where they burn out or compromising themselves where they ruin relationships or compromising themselves and doing stuff that they don't even like or love or care about. So becoming ultra successful is Ed and I helping you get back realigned to what matters for 2025, and then imbuing you with that confidence and that edge where you say, okay, I'm ready. Because there has to be some part of you that wants to run through some buildings or put on the cape and wants to fly in 2025. So come down to ultra Miami. You can go to Ultra vip. You'll find the dates there. Ultra vip. And just join Ed and I for two days to start your year off strong.
- [21:17]
A
Yeah. Amen. And by the way, everybody, I gotta. You know, to be really honest with you, I think it's hard to do all of these things on your own. So if you can get into an environment, I completely recommend that. Now, what is something that you could do today, right now, keeping these promises you make yourself to build the bridge. I really believe those of you that whatever your faith is, but the. The Bible talks about the body being our temple, but whatever you believe about your faith, just want to say one thing to you. I think more change starts with your body and your physicality than you might realize. And I don't care if you're ripped and fit right now or maybe you put a couple pounds on. Here's what I mean by that. Fitness, nutrition, hydration. Let's take those three things. Those are areas where you can keep promises to yourself. And so that's why I started with this fast thing that I broke. Now I'm going to get back on it again. And by the way, it's okay if you fall down. You got to get back up. Acknowledge the mistake. I could have made a bunch of excuses to you about why. And I worked out too hard yesterday. So I was starving and my body was craving protein. I had a banana to get any protein, right? So there's no excuses. But see, the time that you get up in the morning, the amount of working out you do, if you go in and do the reps, or the time on the treadmill that you say you're going to do, you are starting to stack keeping the promises you make to yourself. If you're going to Drink a gallon of water every day. And you drink it. You're. So some of you are familiar with my work at Brennan's work. You go, I already know that already. Are you doing it? What's another promise you could keep to yourself? So for me, it's. It's exactly that. I start to build this machine called Me by keeping the physical promise I make to myself. One, because it changes your physiology. But two, it is an area you are in control of. You can't control how much money you're going to make this month or how many clients you're going to get or what third party outside of you people are going to do. So start with promises that are inside that you can keep. Okay. The second area where I begin to keep promises to myself is in my faith walk in my internal life. So, for example, I pray in the morning. You'd be surprised that there's a power to the prayer. But there's a power to doing the prayer because I said I was going to do it. There's a power to getting on my knees every night and praying. There's a power to. When I walk out, I'm blessed. I live on the ocean, but when I was in my apartment, I had a little water fountain that cost me 50 bucks at a swap meet. I like to meditate around water moving. When I would do that, there was a power to emptying my mind in meditating. Or there's a power to be connecting with God in prayer. But the other power is I said I was going to do it and I did it. Let me tell you what that does. It tells you you're in charge. You're in control. You have some domain and influence over your life now. All of my faith, no, God's in charge. You know what I mean when I say that? Don't get it twisted. There's a ying and a yang. The parable of the sower in the Bible, you got to plant seeds. He provides the harvest. Yes, the world will take some with the rain and the wind and the birds and all that, but you have to plant seeds in your life. And when you begin planting these seeds of the promises you keep to yourself, the harvest is more self confidence. The harvest is a performance edge that other people don't get. Oh, she's got some swagger about her right now. She's got a different look in her eye, that eye of the tiger that she's got a little smirk like she almost knows something. I don't know. You ever meet those people? They seem to Know something I don't know. You know what? They know they can trust them and you don't. And when they know they can trust them, they have a different energy about them. And by the way, you can't transfer to somebody that which you're not experiencing yourself. Why does that matter? If you don't trust you and believe in you, nobody else is going to. Nobody else is going to because you can't give them that trust and belief in you that you don't possess. Too many people, Brendan, are waiting around for someone else to validate them. Go, hey, you have my permission to succeed. Now you matter, you're well, so and so doesn't believe in me. Is it that they don't believe in you or is that you don't believe in yourself to the extent yet because you're not keeping these promises, if we're being honest as friends and because you don't have that, you're not transferring that belief to them where they can give it back to you. Does that make sense?
- [25:26]
B
That's so good. Yeah. When your spirit is really alive in you because you're doing prayer, you're having that moment of faith. And when that's there, you do have a different level of confidence in life. You really do. Because you can trust yourself and you can trust something beyond yourself. Now you got the double edged sword, right? Trust in self, I was congruent. Trust in faith. Something bigger has got me now you have a two sided trust, you're stronger and people feel that from you. They're like, oh, he seems solid, he seems solid. And what I want people to have is that solidity in their week where there's a strength, there's a centeredness, there's a groundedness. Because performance edge, we always think it's like super high. But it's not about this hype, it's more about being grounded, being strong. And I also want to share for those who maybe you're listening to podcast, I'd love for you to go to YouTube and watch the riff Ed just did. Because I'm going to give you one more tip on this performance edge getting it back. People who are able to maintain their drive over a period of time, they do what Ed just did. It's called leadership communication. They speak like leaders. They step in and embody a role model mindset. They are like, oh, I'm aware people have influence. I'm aware that I have the ability to influence energy. So Ed just took the whole thing and ramped it up. Well, guess what, the rest of the day because he had leadership communication coming out of his mouth. He'll literally be more expressive, more driven, more focused. And I tell people all the time, I'm like, hey, you know why you lost the drive? You're too quiet. You lost the drive to your. Too quiet. Our expression, our voice gives us superpower. We're human beings with human stories. When we actually start sharing and when we understand, we can impact people. Because who's the most driven people you ever met? They're always leaders. Yes, they love the role of being a leader. They love the role of having purposeful influence with other people. And when you lead, you maintain a different kind of edge because you don't play the victim card. Yeah, you lead. You have different kind of edge because you have responsibility that you took upon. You're carrying the mantle that you chose to carry. You're carrying the torch that matters to you. And you realize that you can help other people, you can serve other people, you can enlist other people, enroll other people, build other people as soon as there's other people in this mix. Now as you lead them, as self expression comes back into your life, like genuine self expression for a cause, for a mission. I know when someone's lost their edge, they're less evangelical for whatever their cause is. Yeah, I know evangelism means something specific, maybe in the Christian faith, but I'm using it as a sort of a non denominational, if you will. It's like when you aren't passionately sharing your cause, your mission, your dream, like business owners all the time. I can tell when they lost their edge, they'll sit there at lunch the whole time. Yeah, I kind of do this. And they're trying to be cool now. They're trying to be like. They're trying to be the cool person. They're trying to be the subtle person. And it's like, no, no, no. You lose the edge of your business if you don't talk about it, if you don't hype it, if you aren't hyping your business, promoting your business, talking about it with fire, no wonder you lost the fire. You got to be a fire breathing dragon once in a while about something important in your life. If you want to be someone who has that drive and maintains it. Expression is power. And if you don't express, then what happens is, guess what? You tone down. As you tone down, as you placate, as you go silent, your soul goes. I wasn't born to be a silent soul. You were given voice. You were given expression. And expression gives you the drive back just like you saw. If those who watch it and lift, I mean, he almost jumped right out that chair. And when he lifts himself up like that, I guarantee the rest of his day is more driven. It's why I tell people, if you read the Bible, read it out loud in the morning. If you have a favorite verse or you have a favorite poem or you have a favorite quote from a book, verbalize, express stronger, express more powerful. That's why when you see a great speaker come off stage, they're like glowing. I mean, they're like. They're driven.
- [30:20]
A
Yep, you're right, by the way. I got everybody. He's so right about this. I. There's this. They're cousins. This idea of selling yourself to dream. Can I just give you all to add to what Brennan was saying? Like, this is going to be very simply put, but I say this to you, if, like, if you and I were riding in the car together right now, you listening to this or watching this on YouTube, can I just say this to you? Listen, it's gonna sound basic, but no one said this to you in a long time, and I believe this to be true. You know, you get your edge back, you gotta want it. Listen to me really close. The people that win, they want it more. They want it more. They're hungrier, they're starving to make it done. And to Brendan's point, the longer you do something, you get a little bit fed. Maybe you're not literally starving. When you started your business, you were literally starving, and that gave you an edge. And the more you get well fed and you got a steak once in a while and a nice bottle of wine, it's just as like this slow asphyxiation to where you just don't want it like you once did. So if you want to get your edge back, you got to sell yourself the dream. You got to start keeping these dadgum promises, and you got to want it again. You, this next year, I promise you, it's going to come down to who wants it the most. And that may sound like rah rah to you, and it is not. I'm just telling you hungry people, man. And you could be. And like I said earlier, maybe you're an entrepreneur listening to this. Maybe you're stay at home mom. Maybe you're retired. Maybe you're 15. Maybe you're a teacher. Listen to me. How bad do you want it? And you got to get clear on what it is you want to want it bad enough. And this Thing I said earlier about your body, don't discount this. Listen, you make a statement when you walk in a room. If you are physically fit, that says this person should be listened to, this person is disciplined. And when you walk in a room and you're not, that also makes a statement. Now let me be very clear. Listen to me as a friend. You don't have to be muscular or fit or jacked, okay? None of that. I think it wouldn't hurt if you were, but it doesn't matter. Here's what does matter. The people see you changing. So if you are out of shape right now and over the next 90 days, you're just a little bit more fit, you're a little, you got a little more coloring in your skin, you're a little bit more energized. If people see you changing, making progress, that's infectious, that's magnetic. It doesn't need to be the final product of you look like a fitness model on a cover. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is you make a statement with your body. Wow. His body. Since I've known Brendan, he's work, he's lifting more weights, he's more fit. Right before we went on, we were talking about back exercises he does for his lower back. Because my lower back's bothering me. Progress is magnetic. And so actually the fact that you're not in great shape right now could work to your advantage. Because every time somebody sees you these next 12 months, like, what are you doing? That's incredible. Look at the change you're making. And when you change your body and improve your body, it sends a statement to you that you can change anything. This stuff matters. This message is sponsored by Green Light. And I got to tell you, I wish Green Light existed when I was a kid, but I'm so grateful it's existed for my kids. So you look. We all know the old saying, give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and he eats for life. This isn't just true with fishing, it's true for parents with their kids. And one of the most under taught skills in life is financial success and responsibility. And as we enter the gifting season, now's the perfect time to give your kids money skills that'll last well beyond the holidays. And that's where Green Light comes in. Green Light is a debit card and money app for families. Parents can send money to their kids and keep an eye on kids spending and saving. While kids and teens learn to Build money, confidence and lifelong financial literacy skills, one of the most important skills in life. Sign up for Green light today at greenlight.com ed that's greenlight.com ed to try greenlight today. Greenlight.com ed and correlated to that is this. People that get their edge back make the hard choices and the hard decisions, the difficult ones. See, I say in the power of one more, one of the one mores is you are one decision away from changing your life. Here's what I know about every one of you listening to this right now. You already know what that decision is. You know the one thing you're not doing, you need to be doing that could flip the script right now on your life. Maybe it's your confidence, maybe it's your belief. Maybe it's getting back connected to your faith. Maybe it's getting in the gym, maybe it's getting out of a relationship, out of a business you're in that you don't love anymore, out of a job you're in. But you truly know, you have an intuition right now, as I said it, what's the decision? And the people that are blissful and happy make the decision. For some of you, it's to really listen a lot more closely to things. Brendan teaches about peace. Maybe the decision for some of you is I've got to take more time to me, I've got to get clear on where my breaks are. I've got to get clear on the my peace of mind time. I've got to get more into my self care. I don't know where on that spectrum of life all of you are, but I know you pretty much know what that decision is. It's whether or not you'll have the courage because you get clear enough on what you want and you want it bad enough that you will make that one decision. So let me just give you a perfect example of that, which is my mom. I want to make sure this week on the podcast, I honor my mom. My mom turned 75 years old this month.
- [35:56]
B
Wow.
- [35:57]
A
My mom has never exercised in her life, ever. She raised a family, she became a grandma. And it just wasn't part of my mom's life ever. And she's had lots of different health issues. I won't get into all of them, but one of them's really problems with her back and mobility. And. And we've just been kind of concerned about mom's health the last few years, especially since dad died. And anyway, we challenged mom to start exercising so she got a treadmill that was my dad's. And she put it upstairs in my dad's old office. And my mom started walking on the treadmill. And I asked her the other day, I said, mom, how much could you walk? The first thing, she goes, that's just at an incline of one. It's no big. Big deal. It's, you know. I go, mom, come on. What are you doing? She goes, well, I walked for 12 minutes. And I knew this because my sisters had told me, and I said, well, what are you doing now? She goes, because my sister said, she's up to 37 minutes now. And she goes, well, I was up to 37 minutes. And, you know, and then I thought, the other day, one more. Just do one more, like my son says. So I went, one more minute, which turned into one more, and then another one. And I did 40 minutes this morning. I said, mom, that's crazy. You're walking. I can't do 40 minutes. That's great, because it's just, you know, it's just one on the incline. Eddie. I said, mom, you went from 712 minutes to 17 to 40 minutes and 90 days. Isn't that amazing? And she goes, well, guess what else that was after I went walking at the park with Andrea, your sister, this morning. So I walked at the park for half an hour, and then I came home, and I thought, you know what? I'm gonna do a little bit more. And she did it. And I have to tell you guys something that inspires me way more than someone who's already in perfect shape at the gym. It's the progress. This precious, beautiful soul at 75 years old. And I just picture. And she doesn't want to get up on that treadmill every morning. Shows me. I never want to do it, Eddie. And I said, mom, it's so damn inspiring that you're doing. Oh, stop it. You can lift that many. I said, mom, I promise you, if I tell somebody on the podcast about this, there are people not working out. They're gonna. And even if they are, they're gonna go to the new level. She goes, please don't. That'll embarrass me. Well, mom, I'm embarrassing you today. It's awesome. And I'm gonna tell you guys that inspires people. It's not perfect people. It's progress that you make that will inspire others. So, mom, proud of you, mama.
- [38:09]
B
My lad.
- [38:10]
A
Getting it. I love it. And in your case, what were we just talking about before we got on about? You and I were literally vision casting what our ideal Looked like life look like this next year. And at 66 years old, was our literal personal conversation before, was it not, brother?
- [38:26]
B
Yeah. I've always found that people with edge, they want to talk about the future. They want to know, how are you changing? What are you going to make happen? How's it going to be different for you? What's the best life? People who are driven, they're after that, they want to experience high performance in their life, but they want to experience the best life along with it. And so they're optimizing every little thing for, you know, to make their back feel better. They're optimizing every little thing like, how can I do this thing? I love doing more like mine. Ed and I were talking about me writing and how much I love writing. I want to do more writing, so I got to optimize my life so I get to do that more often. Ed loves to golf. He wants to optimize his life to do a little more golf. Like part of drive is knowing what you want to optimize to live a certain kind of life. Listen, you can be a grounded, soft spoken, caring, loving Buddha and still have extraordinary power and edge. The Buddha did not lack edge. And that's what's important. That magnetism, that ability to believe in something, to espouse it, to enlist other people, brings you to life. But I'm going to come back and. And illustrate a little bit what Ed said, which I think is so important. You have to want it. You have to have that hunger. And let me give you what that means. For most people who I've met who are driven, I can always tell psychologically, they're usually after three things. They might not even know it when I start working with them. Number one, when you think about people who have a lot of edge and performance drive, they want to see themselves in the future as super capable. It's the stuff that we talk about, like self mastery, but it's also the stuff we talk about in your and I work Ed, about competition. Do you know why you want competition? Do you know why you want to take that challenge? Because you want to see yourself as capable. Maybe you weren't capable before, but developing capability gives you that confidence. Developing capability makes you able to handle things. Developing capability makes you sense that you respect yourself. Like when I. If you work with a fighter, you can see the ones who want to get capable, like they want to master the game that gives them edge. They want high capability. The desire for high capability makes you hungry. The second thing is they Want to be admired. A lot of people with real performance drive, where it's not just for no reason. They want to be respected members of community. They want to win the award. They want the status. And people don't like the word status, but I'm like, a lot of people do a lot of things for status, but what they really want is to be admired. They want to be respected by other people. They want to respect themselves for their capability, but they want to be respected by other people by being seen as a leader, a role model, and that's important. And the third thing they have is a psychological drive to see themselves in the future with more freedom. A lot of people are driven to have more abundance, more financial wealth, more freedom of time, more freedom from the bad job, freedom from the bad people. They want a greater sense of lifestyle. Freedom says, you know what? I can do whatever the hell I want, so I'm going to build my life so I can do whatever the hell I want. And those three things, Ed, I've seen bring people right back to life. I go, oh, you're not trying to build anything in terms of capability. No wonder you don't have hunger. Oh, you don't see yourselves being admired and respected, achieving something great in your community or being a leader. No wonder you're not engaging. And no wonder you don't have this drive each day because you're not trying to have more freedom for yourself or your family. You're just going through the motions. You're just kind of surviving. But if we can get capability and admiration and freedom back in the conversation now, people go, hey, I feel different. I'm ready to go.
- [42:32]
A
I'm just thinking about myself at 22 all the way to 53 right now as we record this. Those are still the three for me. They're still the free. And I have to tell you, I can tell you that being admired is awesome. And you need to go get a bunch of that so you know that that doesn't fulfill you all the way, everybody. But it is something that everybody wants. But I can tell you the one that is underrated, which is freedom. Freedom in life to make the choices. You want to someday be in a place in your life where you call the shots, where the world doesn't have their thumb on you or your family anymore, is it makes me emotional to the standpoint of, I just wish so many people knew how good that feels to wake up free. Because so many people live in free countries. But they're not free. They're not free financially but they're also not free emotionally because they just have not given themselves the gift of real grace and real love of themselves and real belief in themselves. And so they live in a bondage and a prison in their own minds that they've created. And they. You can escape that prison anytime you want. You guys, we're giving you the key. Just unlock it. Just walk out right now. You can walk out of that bondage of your mind, of not believing yourself or being down on yourself or not having a dream again in your life, you know, not having that thing inside of you that gives you that fire that Brendan started out with, that. That want to. That hunger. You can just. You can literally just take the key and open the law, open the prison gate right now, and walk right out of that door into a whole new life. And that's not rhetoric. It starts in your mind. It actually starts in your spirit, and then it moves very quickly to your mind. And I will tell you that in your life, I think the devil, the adversary, the negative vibrational frequency of life is usually in the mind. And the highest vibrational frequency, God, Jesus, in my case, is in the heart. If you listen to your heart and just get a little bit quiet, and you'll begin to have that heart whisper to you that you're born to do something great with your life. You're born to do something awesome, and it is not too late for you. Your mistakes, your past setbacks do not disqualify you. You're immensely qualified. And I'm going to tell you the last thing. I'll give you a key on my end, and then I'll let Brendan wrap things up. I think that, you know, a lot of people want to be inspirational or motivational to other people. And you said something earlier, it really starts with being an aspirational person. If you want to motivate and inspire others, you have to be somebody other people would aspire to be like. And people admire people who keep the promises they make to themselves. People admire people who change and grow. I don't admire. What do you admire more? Somebody you see in the gym that's 6 foot 3, 220 pounds, Brennan just ripped and jacked. That's admirable, right? That is. You go, I put a lot of debt. I admire that. There's a level of admiration for that. Yeah, but what if you saw somebody that was at the gym three years ago that was 280 pounds, and then you saw them six months later and they're 260, and then maybe it left for a while and you come back and they're 240 and 230 and they just look happier and move more fluidly and aren't as sore and as much. What's more admirable? I'll vote. I'll tell you right now, I think the more admirable person is the person who's changed the most. And so it's about change that aspire. If you want to, as people need to aspire, you need to be the example. You need to be the example in whatever that area is. It's. I think it's most admirable what you're overcoming. You could be so inspirational. The most eloquent speakers, the most. It's what have they overcome? That's what inspires people because they see themselves in you. Most people don't see themselves in the perfect speaker or the. Or elon Musk worth 360 billion. They don't see themselves in, but they can see themselves in you. And the way you inspire and motivate them is being someone they aspire, aspire to be like by changing and growing and improving. That's what motivation is. It's being someone that people aspire to. And here's how you do it. My last key for today, you got to do hard things. You got to choose to do difficult things, hard things. And one of the things I've tried to do with my children is like, I don't coddle them, I don't try to protect them. I want them to learn to do difficult things in life. Because I think that's really what creates change, is facing resistance and pushing through it and getting to the other side. And every time you push through some resistance, you get to the other side, you begin to build a reputation with yourself that you can get to the other side. That's how you build muscle. It's with resistance. It's not lifting nothing. It's doing something where you face resistance and choosing to do the hard thing, the difficult thing that the average and ordinary will not choose to do. And when those opportunities and their opportunities present themselves to you, dig deep because you want it more. You want it more than you're afraid. You love your family to create that change more than you're afraid of doing that thing. And when the love you have for your family, the love you have for other people, the love you have for God, the love you have for yourself is greater than your fear, you'll push through and do the difficult thing. That would be my last piece on getting Your performance edge or getting it back, what would yours be?
- [47:51]
B
I love it. That is the quintessential description of taking on challenge because it causes you to rise, causes you to change, causes you to get better, causes you to push. It's like that willingness to take on challenge, it might be a different reason for everybody, but that willingness to take on challenge and to push and to dig deep, that's everything. And now the most important thing, and we kind of save it for last is, you know, I teach this four desire framework about that what we all really want is aliveness, deeper connection or relationship, meaningful pursuit and growth. And the people I've always met who have the most drive, that part about meaningful pursuit is so important for them. If you don't have the drive, you haven't found your meaningful pursuit. There's nothing wrong with you. Your brain isn't broken. You don't need to blame everything from, you know, childhood and everything else. There's nothing wrong with you. You're in the right place at the right time on this earth. Trust in that right now. If you want to be more driven and find yourself moving in the right direction, you have to choose what that direction is. Meaningful pursuit. Lots of people are busy, but they're not in pursuit of something that brings them alive, that they sense is fulfilling or meaningful. So this is where the language of mission comes in. People with drive, they're on a mission for something. They're in pursuit. They're not in thinking about it, they're in active pursuit. Lots of people who lost their drive, I go, you lost your drive because you're not driving. You're not even in the car. You don't even have the destination. You have a fancy car sitting out front. You're in front of Netflix at home. That's why you feel bad. You got to pick a destination, get in the car and be in pursuit. And this is what's really important. The chase brings people back to life. When we say hunger, what we're really saying is, oh, human beings, we are goal driven animals. We want to be in the chase. And when we get back in the chase of something that matters to us, a meaningful pursuit. Sometimes that meaningful pursuit is earning more for your family. Sometimes that meaningful pursuit is getting command of your body and getting healthier with some self discipline related to your health. Sometimes that meaningful pursuit is building that particular business, that particular competency. Sometimes that meaningful pursuit is going for the title belt, going for the award, going for the gold. But if you don't have the meaningful pursuit, I Just want to let you know there's nothing wrong with you. You have to discern what that is and get back in pursuit. Even if you don't know every step, even if you don't know if it's the perfect thing, even if you don't know if it's. That's my life's purpose. What is meaningful and fulfilling for you to chase right now, to pursue right now your mission. You might not know your 50 year mission. You might just know, hey, in 2025, my mission is to make my life outstanding. My mission is to improve in 2025, my mission is to do better for my family or to earn two times more, or to start this thing, or to stop this thing. But if you don't have the meaningful pursuit, don't be shocked that you keep getting in your psychology in sort of spin cycle of negativity or spin cycle of discouragement. The spin cycle will always happen until you pick something outside the spin and you see what is meaningful for you. So find that meaningful pursuit, challenge yourself, push to pursue towards it. And all of a sudden you start feeling alive again. But you also this time get to feel fulfilled, also get to feel love, also get to feel joyous. Because you chose a pursuit for you that's meaningful for you, for your life, your family, your mission. Find that meaningful pursuit. You will come back alive. Champion.
- [51:52]
A
So good, brother. Oh my gosh. Told you guys, once a month, just the planet vibrates a little bit differently when the two of us get together. Remember this guys, Ultra vip. Come spend a couple days with Brendan and I at the end of January, 2025. It's going to be awesome. Go there. Brendan, thank you so much for today, brother. I love you.
- [52:11]
B
Really incredible. You inspire me every single time. Now I'm fired up the rest of the day, baby.
- [52:15]
A
So thank you. Max out, this is the Ed Milan show.