How to Have Effective One-on-Ones (Copy Our Template) - EntreLeadership

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Transcript9 lines

[00:06]
A
Of all the meetings we do here, there's only one that we say is the most important meeting to advance your business. It's not a strategy meeting. It's not quarterly planning. It's one on ones with your team. Most leaders dread one on ones or don't do them at all. But when you do these the right way, one on ones actually give you back hours in your week. And they become the key to building a healthy team and a healthy business. So today, Entree leadership's head coach, John Felkins will show you why you should be doing one on ones and how to do them effectively so you can accomplish more in your business. Let's get to it.
[00:46]
B
When I tell leaders that they should be having a weekly one on one with their team members, a lot of them look at me like I'm crazy. And I think it's because when they hear one on one, they're picturing something like this. All right, Mia, so it's time for our one on one. Well, how'd you week?
[01:02]
A
It's been good.
[01:03]
B
Yeah. Been a slow week, but it's been slow. Like you need more to do. No, I mean next week will be busier. Just one of those weeks. Yeah. Did you get all that stuff done I gave you to do last week? Oh, yeah, yeah. That was quick. That was easy.
[01:17]
A
Yeah.
[01:18]
B
Anything else? No, I think no.
[01:23]
A
Yeah. Okay.
[01:24]
B
Well, good talk. If that's what you're expecting one on ones to be like, or if that's what you've experienced before, it's no wonder you think they're a waste of time. But the only thing worse than having a bad one on one is not having one at all. Because most of the problems you're dealing with right now as a leader, miscommunication, a lack of accountability, small issues getting out of hand are the exact problems one on ones can help solve. So before we talk about how to do one on ones, well, let's talk about why so many leaders avoid them in the first place. Probably the biggest reason leaders don't do one on ones is because they feel like they don't have the time. And I get that you got 17 fires burning, you're playing whack a mole with your inbox, and now somebody's telling you to add another meeting to your calendar. That sounds terrible. And for some of you, it's not just the meeting itself, it's the frequency. Every week? Yeah, every week. Or at least every other week if that's more realistic for your business. Because if you're leading People you don't have time to not meet with them regularly. You're either going to spend 30 intentional minutes addressing issues or you're going to spend the entire week getting interrupted by those same issues. It's your choice. Another objection that I hear is that one on ones feel like micromanagement. It can feel like that if all you're doing is sitting down and asking, hey, what did you do this week? Did you finish that thing? Did you, did you talk to so and so? That's an interrogation. A one on one isn't about controlling people, it's about helping them succeed. One on ones give you the opportunity to get ahead of the problems before they get too big. That's not micromanagement, that's being proactive. Or maybe you're worried that it'll just turn into a giant complaint session. I've heard leaders tell me every time we meet, they just dump all their problems on me. It's like somebody's walking into your office and dropping a monkey off on your desk. And if your whole team does that, by the end of the week you've collected 14 monkeys and you're running a full blown circus. That's not the goal here. A one on one shouldn't end up with you owning everybody else's problem. They need to take their monkey and they need to solve their own problem and then they need to leave your office. It's their responsibility to own their next step. Or maybe the real reason you're not doing one on ones is because it's awkward. And yeah, of course it's awkward. Any new leadership habit is awkward. The first time you led a meeting was awkward. The first time you hired somebody was awkward. The first time you fired somebody, it was probably for sure, awkward. Leadership is full of awkward moments. But avoiding awkward moments isn't a good enough reason to not do something. And trust me, it gets less awkward the more you do it. Despite all these objections, let me tell you why doing one on ones with people that you lead is worth it. First of all, let's reframe this whole idea. You've got to stop thinking about one on ones just as a meeting. It's a conversation, it's an investment. It's where you build trust. It's where you coach and develop team members into leaders. So now let's talk about what a good one on one is supposed to look like. But before we get to that, your team is worth the time it takes for a good one on one. And your team is worth every dollar you invest in them and behind payroll. Healthcare is one of the biggest expenses a business has. That's why I want to tell you about Christian Healthcare Ministries Groups program. It's a faith based alternative to traditional health insurance where members help pay each other's medical bills. It's a great option not only for individuals, but also for small businesses to take care of their people in a way that's effective and affordable. Whether you're a church, a non profit, a school or a family business, many Organizations report saving 30 to 50% compared to traditional health insurance. Of course, the goal isn't just cutting costs, it's being a wise steward of the resources that you've been given. CHM has over 700 participating groups and they offer flexibility for companies of a lot of different sizes. So if you're responsible for your organization's health care benefits, contact chm. One of their representatives will walk you through your options and help determine whether the group's program is a good fit for your specific situation. So go to chministries.org entrez or call 1-800-joinchm okay, I've got some tips to help you make sure these conversations are valuable for both you and and the person that you're leading. The first tip is be present. So if you're answering texts or checking email or thinking about your next meeting, you're wasting everybody's time. Be where your feet are. People can tell when you're present and they can tell when you're pretending. If your team member is important enough to meet with them, they're important enough to get your attention. When you show up distracted to a one on one you're communicating with, whatever they're telling you isn't as important as what's happening on your screen. That's not the message that you want to send. So put your phone down, close the laptop, silence the notifications, and be fully present for the next 30 minutes. Sometimes the most valuable thing you can give isn't advice, it's your attention. And on that note, come prepared with what you want to talk about. A lot of one on ones sound like this. How's everything going? Good. Okay. Cool. Good talk. Meeting over. Nothing gets accomplished. That's why you both should come ready with things to discuss. Your team members should bring questions, obstacles they're facing, or ideas that they want feedback on. And if they're not sure where to start, you can ask them questions like how they're doing, what their highs and lows are, and how their previous commitments are trending. Do they have any current blockers or challenges that need to be addressed. But your team members shouldn't be the only one that comes prepared. It's also a chance for you, as the leader to address things that you've noticed throughout the week. Things like wins, worth celebrating, concerns that need to be addressed, and areas that you want to coach them on. A good idea is to keep a running list throughout the week of anything that comes up that you want to address later. I take notes all week. If something comes up Tuesday, I don't stop what I'm doing. I write it down and talk about it during my next one on one. The one on one tool inside of Entree Elite makes this really easy, and if you want to learn more about that, we'll leave a link in the description. Also, don't talk the whole time. God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason, so make sure you're listening more than you're talking. Let them steer the conversation. And remember, silence is golden. Sometimes it takes a second for people to open up. The more routine this becomes, the less awkward it will be. And that leads me to the next tip. Change up the setting. Your one on one should be a private conversation so people feel safe sharing. But don't assume you have to sit in a meeting room to have your one on one. Go for a walk, grab a coffee, maybe go outside. Communication expert Jefferson Fisher has said that movement can lower anxiety and help people think more clearly. There's something about walking side by side instead of face to face that allows people to open up more. Some of the best one on ones I've ever had happen while walking, so get creative on what works for you and your team. And lastly, coach, don't rescue. Remember what I said about people dropping off their monkeys in your office? I started giving some of my clients a sock monkey for them to put on their desk as a reminder that they don't have room to take any more monkeys, AKA other people's problems. When someone brings a problem, your first response shouldn't be I'll take care of it. Your first response should be, what do you think we should do? It's easy to feel like you should propose a solution, but that's not really helping the person because you're not causing them to think through the problem themselves. You're trying to raise their level of critical thinking and lower their dependence on you to solve every issue. And they might resist that by telling you, I don't know what to do. That's why I'm asking you. Push back and ask what the options are. It might be awkward for a minute or two, but by forcing them to solve the problem, you're actually investing in them and leading them well. So if you're waiting until you feel perfectly prepared to start doing one on ones, you'll never do them. The first one might be awkward, the second one might be awkward too. That's okay. Leadership isn't about perfection, it's about progress. Start meeting with your people, show up, listen, coach the best you can and do that every week and you'll be shocked how much faster problems get solved and how much stronger your team becomes. If you want a deeper dive into how to do a one on one, we've got an article breaking it all down for you and we'll leave a link in the description.
[10:19]
A
1 on ones are one of the most valuable ways to stay plugged into your team and keep a pulse on what's happening in your business, so make them a priority. Decide that investing in your team is worth the time. But one on ones aren't the only meetings that matter. In this next episode, we'll show you the five meetings that are non negotiables here at Ramsey and how we make sure every meeting is worth having. If you enjoyed this episode, like share and subscribe for more real world leadership content. I'm your host Dave Ramsey and this is Entree Leadership.

Summary4 min read

Podcast Summary: EntreLeadership – "How to Have Effective One-on-Ones (Copy Our Template)"
Date: August 14, 2026
Host: Ramsey Network (Dave Ramsey), Guest: John Felkins (Head Coach, EntreLeadership)

Overview of the Episode

This episode delves into the pivotal role one-on-ones play in building a healthy, high-performing team and scaling a successful business. Dave Ramsey and John Felkins challenge common misconceptions about one-on-ones and provide a practical, actionable template for conducting meaningful and productive meetings with team members. The conversation breaks down not only the "why" behind one-on-ones, but also the "how," featuring proven strategies and leadership insights aimed at making these meetings a cornerstone of effective leadership.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Importance of One-on-Ones

One-on-ones as the Most Important Meeting
- They’re not just another meeting on your calendar. Done right, one-on-ones are the most valuable tool for solving key leadership problems, including miscommunication, accountability gaps, and festering small issues.
- Quote: “Most leaders dread one-on-ones or don’t do them at all. But when you do these the right way, one-on-ones actually give you back hours in your week.” (A, 00:08)
Common Leader Objections & Myths
- “I don’t have time for this.”
  - John Felkins explains that investing time in intentional one-on-ones prevents constant interruptions and chaos.
  - Quote: “You’re either going to spend 30 intentional minutes addressing issues or you’re going to spend the entire week getting interrupted by those same issues. It’s your choice.” (B, 02:32)
- “Isn’t this just micromanagement?”
  - One-on-ones, when done right, are proactive not controlling.
- “It’ll just become a complaint dump.”
  - Leaders must resist taking ownership of other people’s problems (the “monkeys”).
  - Memorable moment: The “collecting monkeys” analogy—if you let everyone leave their problems in your office, “by the end of the week you’ve collected 14 monkeys and you’re running a full blown circus.” (B, 03:41)
- “It’s awkward.”
  - Leadership is full of awkward firsts—pushing through matters.

2. Reframing One-on-Ones

From Meeting to Investment
- See one-on-ones as ongoing conversations, investments in trust, coaching, and development—not just task check-ins.
- Quote: “It’s where you build trust. It’s where you coach and develop team members into leaders.” (B, 05:24)

How to Conduct Effective One-on-Ones (Actionable Template)

1. Be Fully Present

Timestamp: 06:23

Eliminate Distractions:
- Silence your phone, close your laptop, give your team member your full attention.
- Quote: “Be where your feet are. People can tell when you’re present and they can tell when you’re pretending.” (B, 06:26)
Your Attention is Valuable:
- “Sometimes the most valuable thing you can give isn’t advice, it’s your attention.” (B, 06:57)

2. Prepare in Advance

Timestamp: 07:05

Both Parties Prepare:
- Team members should bring questions, obstacles, or feedback requests.
- Leaders should keep a running list of topics—celebrations, coaching points, or concerns—for each person throughout the week.
Prompt with Good Questions:
- Ask about highs and lows, blockers, trends on commitments, etc.

3. Listen More Than You Talk

Timestamp: 08:18

Facilitate, Don’t Dominate:
- “God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason”—listen twice as much as you talk.
- Allow silence for reflection; people open up with routine.

4. Change the Setting

Timestamp: 08:56

Encourage Openness:
- Private conversations can be enhanced outside formal offices—walks, coffee shops, outdoor meetings.
- Physical movement lowers anxiety, helps creativity (crediting communication expert Jefferson Fisher).

5. Coach, Don’t Rescue

Timestamp: 09:40

Empower Problem-Solving:
- When presented with a problem, resist the urge to solve it for them. Instead, ask: “What do you think we should do?”
- Memorable Moment: The “sock monkey on the desk” anecdote (reminding leaders not to take on team members’ monkeys/problems).
- Help team members practice critical thinking and own their action steps.

Key Quotes & Memorable Moments

“Avoiding awkward moments isn’t a good reason to not do something. And trust me, it gets less awkward the more you do it.” (B, 05:05)
“Leadership isn’t about perfection, it’s about progress.” (B, 10:02)

(Timestamps above reference approximate podcast moments for reference.)

Timestamps for Important Segments

00:05 – Opening: The vital importance of one-on-ones
02:32 – Debunking time and micromanagement objections
03:41 – The ‘monkey’ analogy for ownership of problems
06:23 – Preparation and being present in meetings
08:56 – Changing up the setting for one-on-ones
09:40 – Coaching vs. rescuing: not taking others’ monkeys
10:19 – Recap and conclusion

Final Takeaways

One-on-ones should be a weekly or biweekly non-negotiable for any leader.
Approach them as ongoing investments in people, not just meeting obligations.
Done right, they prevent miscommunication, strengthen trust, and accelerate team problem-solving and accountability.
Start simply, stay consistent, and focus on presence, preparation, listening, creative settings, and empowering your team to solve their own problems.
For deeper guidance, Ramsey Network offers a downloadable template and further articles linked in the show description.

If you want to lead a healthy, growing business, don’t skip your one-on-ones—make them a powerful tool for connection, development, and progress.

Loading summary

Transcript9 lines

[00:06]
A
Of all the meetings we do here, there's only one that we say is the most important meeting to advance your business. It's not a strategy meeting. It's not quarterly planning. It's one on ones with your team. Most leaders dread one on ones or don't do them at all. But when you do these the right way, one on ones actually give you back hours in your week. And they become the key to building a healthy team and a healthy business. So today, Entree leadership's head coach, John Felkins will show you why you should be doing one on ones and how to do them effectively so you can accomplish more in your business. Let's get to it.
[00:46]
B
When I tell leaders that they should be having a weekly one on one with their team members, a lot of them look at me like I'm crazy. And I think it's because when they hear one on one, they're picturing something like this. All right, Mia, so it's time for our one on one. Well, how'd you week?
[01:02]
A
It's been good.
[01:03]
B
Yeah. Been a slow week, but it's been slow. Like you need more to do. No, I mean next week will be busier. Just one of those weeks. Yeah. Did you get all that stuff done I gave you to do last week? Oh, yeah, yeah. That was quick. That was easy.
[01:17]
A
Yeah.
[01:18]
B
Anything else? No, I think no.
[01:23]
A
Yeah. Okay.
[01:24]
B
Well, good talk. If that's what you're expecting one on ones to be like, or if that's what you've experienced before, it's no wonder you think they're a waste of time. But the only thing worse than having a bad one on one is not having one at all. Because most of the problems you're dealing with right now as a leader, miscommunication, a lack of accountability, small issues getting out of hand are the exact problems one on ones can help solve. So before we talk about how to do one on ones, well, let's talk about why so many leaders avoid them in the first place. Probably the biggest reason leaders don't do one on ones is because they feel like they don't have the time. And I get that you got 17 fires burning, you're playing whack a mole with your inbox, and now somebody's telling you to add another meeting to your calendar. That sounds terrible. And for some of you, it's not just the meeting itself, it's the frequency. Every week? Yeah, every week. Or at least every other week if that's more realistic for your business. Because if you're leading People you don't have time to not meet with them regularly. You're either going to spend 30 intentional minutes addressing issues or you're going to spend the entire week getting interrupted by those same issues. It's your choice. Another objection that I hear is that one on ones feel like micromanagement. It can feel like that if all you're doing is sitting down and asking, hey, what did you do this week? Did you finish that thing? Did you, did you talk to so and so? That's an interrogation. A one on one isn't about controlling people, it's about helping them succeed. One on ones give you the opportunity to get ahead of the problems before they get too big. That's not micromanagement, that's being proactive. Or maybe you're worried that it'll just turn into a giant complaint session. I've heard leaders tell me every time we meet, they just dump all their problems on me. It's like somebody's walking into your office and dropping a monkey off on your desk. And if your whole team does that, by the end of the week you've collected 14 monkeys and you're running a full blown circus. That's not the goal here. A one on one shouldn't end up with you owning everybody else's problem. They need to take their monkey and they need to solve their own problem and then they need to leave your office. It's their responsibility to own their next step. Or maybe the real reason you're not doing one on ones is because it's awkward. And yeah, of course it's awkward. Any new leadership habit is awkward. The first time you led a meeting was awkward. The first time you hired somebody was awkward. The first time you fired somebody, it was probably for sure, awkward. Leadership is full of awkward moments. But avoiding awkward moments isn't a good enough reason to not do something. And trust me, it gets less awkward the more you do it. Despite all these objections, let me tell you why doing one on ones with people that you lead is worth it. First of all, let's reframe this whole idea. You've got to stop thinking about one on ones just as a meeting. It's a conversation, it's an investment. It's where you build trust. It's where you coach and develop team members into leaders. So now let's talk about what a good one on one is supposed to look like. But before we get to that, your team is worth the time it takes for a good one on one. And your team is worth every dollar you invest in them and behind payroll. Healthcare is one of the biggest expenses a business has. That's why I want to tell you about Christian Healthcare Ministries Groups program. It's a faith based alternative to traditional health insurance where members help pay each other's medical bills. It's a great option not only for individuals, but also for small businesses to take care of their people in a way that's effective and affordable. Whether you're a church, a non profit, a school or a family business, many Organizations report saving 30 to 50% compared to traditional health insurance. Of course, the goal isn't just cutting costs, it's being a wise steward of the resources that you've been given. CHM has over 700 participating groups and they offer flexibility for companies of a lot of different sizes. So if you're responsible for your organization's health care benefits, contact chm. One of their representatives will walk you through your options and help determine whether the group's program is a good fit for your specific situation. So go to chministries.org entrez or call 1-800-joinchm okay, I've got some tips to help you make sure these conversations are valuable for both you and and the person that you're leading. The first tip is be present. So if you're answering texts or checking email or thinking about your next meeting, you're wasting everybody's time. Be where your feet are. People can tell when you're present and they can tell when you're pretending. If your team member is important enough to meet with them, they're important enough to get your attention. When you show up distracted to a one on one you're communicating with, whatever they're telling you isn't as important as what's happening on your screen. That's not the message that you want to send. So put your phone down, close the laptop, silence the notifications, and be fully present for the next 30 minutes. Sometimes the most valuable thing you can give isn't advice, it's your attention. And on that note, come prepared with what you want to talk about. A lot of one on ones sound like this. How's everything going? Good. Okay. Cool. Good talk. Meeting over. Nothing gets accomplished. That's why you both should come ready with things to discuss. Your team members should bring questions, obstacles they're facing, or ideas that they want feedback on. And if they're not sure where to start, you can ask them questions like how they're doing, what their highs and lows are, and how their previous commitments are trending. Do they have any current blockers or challenges that need to be addressed. But your team members shouldn't be the only one that comes prepared. It's also a chance for you, as the leader to address things that you've noticed throughout the week. Things like wins, worth celebrating, concerns that need to be addressed, and areas that you want to coach them on. A good idea is to keep a running list throughout the week of anything that comes up that you want to address later. I take notes all week. If something comes up Tuesday, I don't stop what I'm doing. I write it down and talk about it during my next one on one. The one on one tool inside of Entree Elite makes this really easy, and if you want to learn more about that, we'll leave a link in the description. Also, don't talk the whole time. God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason, so make sure you're listening more than you're talking. Let them steer the conversation. And remember, silence is golden. Sometimes it takes a second for people to open up. The more routine this becomes, the less awkward it will be. And that leads me to the next tip. Change up the setting. Your one on one should be a private conversation so people feel safe sharing. But don't assume you have to sit in a meeting room to have your one on one. Go for a walk, grab a coffee, maybe go outside. Communication expert Jefferson Fisher has said that movement can lower anxiety and help people think more clearly. There's something about walking side by side instead of face to face that allows people to open up more. Some of the best one on ones I've ever had happen while walking, so get creative on what works for you and your team. And lastly, coach, don't rescue. Remember what I said about people dropping off their monkeys in your office? I started giving some of my clients a sock monkey for them to put on their desk as a reminder that they don't have room to take any more monkeys, AKA other people's problems. When someone brings a problem, your first response shouldn't be I'll take care of it. Your first response should be, what do you think we should do? It's easy to feel like you should propose a solution, but that's not really helping the person because you're not causing them to think through the problem themselves. You're trying to raise their level of critical thinking and lower their dependence on you to solve every issue. And they might resist that by telling you, I don't know what to do. That's why I'm asking you. Push back and ask what the options are. It might be awkward for a minute or two, but by forcing them to solve the problem, you're actually investing in them and leading them well. So if you're waiting until you feel perfectly prepared to start doing one on ones, you'll never do them. The first one might be awkward, the second one might be awkward too. That's okay. Leadership isn't about perfection, it's about progress. Start meeting with your people, show up, listen, coach the best you can and do that every week and you'll be shocked how much faster problems get solved and how much stronger your team becomes. If you want a deeper dive into how to do a one on one, we've got an article breaking it all down for you and we'll leave a link in the description.
[10:19]
A
1 on ones are one of the most valuable ways to stay plugged into your team and keep a pulse on what's happening in your business, so make them a priority. Decide that investing in your team is worth the time. But one on ones aren't the only meetings that matter. In this next episode, we'll show you the five meetings that are non negotiables here at Ramsey and how we make sure every meeting is worth having. If you enjoyed this episode, like share and subscribe for more real world leadership content. I'm your host Dave Ramsey and this is Entree Leadership.