
For more information and resources on how to revive your marriage using the Married Game framework, Go to: https://www.marriedgame.com --- In this episode, I interview my friend Keith Yackey, creator of Married Game, about how high-performing entrepreneurs can revive passion and connection in their marriages. Keith shares his personal story of losing his wife due to neglect and complacency, and how he transformed himself to win her back. He introduces his "Five Dials" system, a framework that helps men assess their roles as parents, partners, producers, players, and in their personal power to rekindle intimacy and trust. By taking ownership of their actions and improving themselves, Keith explains how men can create a more fulfilling relationship, both emotionally and physically, with their wives. --- Connect with Keith! Instagram - @keithyackey Website - https://www.keithyackey.com/ About Keith: Keith Yackey is the Founder & CEO of The Married Game & The Ascend Brotherhood. Fro...
Loading summary
A
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy. Just drop in some details about yourself and see if you're eligible to save money. When you bundle your home and auto policies. The process only takes minutes and it could mean hundreds more in your pocket. Visit progressive.com after this episode to see if you could save Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.
B
The holiday season is now approaching, but@bluenile.com there's always something to celebrate. Whether you're looking for everyday elegance to elevate, a casual outfit or a statement piece worthy of your biggest holiday looks, Blue Nile brings sparkle to any occasion. With some of the highest quality standards in the industry and jewelry experts on hand to answer any questions you can be confident in your purchase. Right now, celebrate the season with 30%.
C
Off@Bluenile.Com that's bluenile.com so money is the byproduct of value. We all know that. Yeah, if you provide value, you get rich like that. There's not even, it's not even like, I wonder if I'm going to get rich. You go out in the world, you provide enough value, you watch what happens, motherfucker, you're going to get rich. And sex is the byproduct of being a great fucking husband. It's the fruit. Most guys are like, I don't like the fruit of my tree. I need to figure out the fruit. I need a sex position. I need a toy. I need this. No, dumb, dumb. The only reason the fruit's bad is because the roots bad. So let's go look at the root of your problem, which is ding, ding, ding. You.
D
What is up entrepreneur? DNA Family, welcome back to an incredible episode. This episode is very special to me and it should be for you. If you are an entrepreneur, if you're a man, if you care about your wellness and good being, good friend of mine and the man who has mastered the married game is here, Keith Yackey. What is up brother?
C
Hey man, it's great to be here and I'm excited to be able to chat about what we're going to read to chat about.
D
Hey, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to start this off. I've never started something off like this. This is the first time I've ever said this. Keith, how are you going to change the listeners and the watchers lives today right now? High level entrepreneurs go doers make shit happen, people. Keith, go. Because how are you going to change your life today, right now?
C
All right, listen up. Here's how. If you're listening to this, this is how your life is going to change. If you are an entrepreneur and you're killing it or you're on the come up to killing it and you've noticed that your wife is no longer initiating sex with you like she did in the beginning or. Or she's no longer enthusiastically participating in the sexual act with you, meaning she's like looking at her clock and telling you to hurry up. Or if you've noticed that she's more into the spreadsheets than she is the bed sheets. How I'm going to change your life is I'm going to show you in this next hour exactly how to get your wife to want and desire you again. So if the sex has been low or it has been slowed, no problem, bro. We're about ready to go on the show. And I'm about ready to throw down the truth. That's how we're going to change their life. Let's go. Justin, Colby, let's go then, dog. Let's go.
D
I like this already. Coming in hot. So we are talking about the subject that is terrifying to most people to talk about. I don't care. You don't care. You are a master at this. You have not just myself, but so many high profile keep their names out. People who are your clients, people that you work with. Entrepreneurs making tens and tens of millions of dollars have created their life esthetically. But this is a real challenge that you are the go to guy when it comes to making sure your, your other half, the woman that is your prize is fulfilled and wants you back, bro. So let's, let's start with this one question. What is the most common mistake male entrepreneurs are making right now in regards to this relationship with their wife?
C
Here's the biggest mistake they're making. They're thinking, I protect, I provide, I produce. Where's my pussy? And yet what they don't understand is, yes, you protect, you provide, you produce. Thank you. That's a prerequisite to being a man. But that does not mean that you are a good lover. Meaning that your wife feels seen and heard and safe and secure. And if you're not connecting with your wife emotionally, she's going to feel neglected, the same way that you feel when you go to connect sexually and she says no and you feel rejected. So what? A man forgets. And the biggest problem is that he Thinks because he protects, he provides and he produces. His wife is supposed to be like, oh my God, you're so amazing, I cannot wait to give you a blowjob. And that couldn't be anything further than the truth.
D
I love that we're just keeping it real raw. So in that, in that, what is his first steps to take? To change that, to flop that over so that he can actually help her feel secure, listened to, provided for, understood. What are the things? You know, the obvious answer I would say is you just tell the guy, well, why don't you actually take her on a date and listen to her? That seems obvious. Maybe it's the obvious answer that we all don't want to acknowledge, but what is the answer? Like, what's the first thing that that man can go do?
C
He's got to shift his mindset. And this is the mindset he has to shift. He has to think and realize, if my wife is no longer enthusiastically pleasing me and excited to hang out with me and life is not fun, fun and energetic and light hearted like it used to be, he has to realize step number one, I'm the problem. I'm the problem. Me. Which also births the hope of, if you're the problem, you're also the solution. So if a guy is sitting here and he's like, dude, I'm making millions of dollars. I've got money in the bank, I'm crushing it at work. But then I come home and I'm feeling like there's disconnect. I feel like she's always critical. She doesn't praise me, she doesn't tell me she loves me enough. She doesn't seem to be enthused about me or connecting with me in any way, shape or form. And if she does connect with me, it feels like it's just a chore sex. It's a duty sex. She's like, I know I'm supposed to give it up to him. That the guy has to realize, oh, I have mishandled this relationship. I'm 95%. What I've experienced with helping 350 guys who come through my program and talk to thousands more who haven't, but have listened to our podcast and read our stuff and all the good things. Guys are 95% the problem in their relationship. 95%. But if a man adopts, I'm 100% the problem. Meaning I haven't created an environment for her to have fun anymore. I don't take her on dates. And if I do hang out with her, it's kind of like, hurry up, what do you got going on? Other things are more important. And they start no longer. Those women feel like a priority. They don't have to be. She doesn't be number one. She has to at least be number one or two or at least a. Or two or three. And the guy's like, but don't you see this amazing life I've given you? Shouldn't you be happy to be with me? And she's like, I'm not with you. You want me to be with all this and all this stuff. But I wanted your heart. I wanted you to sit down and give me attention. So an attention for a woman to get her man's true full attention feels the same way to her soul. When we get their vagina, it's the exact same.
D
Yeah. And I think it's such an obvious. You know, it's high drivers. You're a high driver, right? So. Well, let me spin this back to you, brother. How did you learn this? Right? This isn't something where you went to school to study relationships and the. The anatomy and psychology. Like, dude, where did you fucking learn this wisdom? Because, I mean, you've already lit this podcast on fire. People could leave right now. Don't leave right now. But they could go right now, realize, oh, shit, I'm fucking this up. And it's me, right? By the way, to make sure you don't leave right now, Keith is going to give you guys something special. If you want to connect with Keith, go to married game.com married game.com Keith has something special for you. So that being said, okay, how did you. How did you figure this all out?
C
Real simple. I got married early to a woman that I wasn't that attracted to for religious reasons. Then when I became 28, I realized, what the hell am I doing? This is not what I want to do with my life. I got a divorce, and when I became single, there was an extremely attractive woman at the bar as a bartender that I thought liked me. My friends told me she liked me. And the first words in my mouth, well, it seems like we like each other. We should go have sex. And she was like, you clearly don't understand how this game works. What game are you?
D
I thought it worked.
C
I thought you were going to say it worked. I was like, geez, no, dude, but. And I felt so stupid and so ridiculous that I was like, that's never going to happen to me again. So I went and read every book, hired coaches, went deep into the thing of, how can I have sex with the women that I've been jerking off to as a kid, like Playboy and Penthouse and the nudie movies. I want to have sex with the hot ones. So I went through the painstaking trouble of learning how to do this over a particular amount of time. And I had sex with hundreds of the most beautiful women on planet earth. I learned the game. Then I found my one. Her name was Jessie Joy. And we were it. We're in forever. Till death do us part. Let's go. And five years into that, she goes, you run your business. You come home and talk about your business. We are moving into our dream house. And she goes, and you fall asleep on the couch, you piece of me and your two year old daughter that you've had with me would be better off without you in our life. And they packed up you all and fucking skedaddled out of town and went to California. And I realized right then and there, I'm the problem. Which means I'm the solution. Which means I, who was married in 185lbs of tiger meat wrapped in barbed wire, I have let myself go and became 200, 200 pounds, 250 pounds of polar bear flesh. I was running my business that had come on pretty much autopilot, making multiple, multiple seven figures, doing just fine. And I had lost my drive and ambition to continue to grow. So she's seeing this guy who was ambition to take over the world, take over a very small portion of the thing. That's good. I was a horrible parent. So she goes, dude, I don't even want to have a second kid with you. I was no longer taking her dancing, no longer taking other dates, no longer having fun. And I lost my power, meaning I didn't say and do what I said I was going to do when I said I was going to do it without fault. So she couldn't trust anything. And when the trust goes down, the lust goes down. And she's like, you're not anything like you were when I married you. You are a bait and motherfucking switch. And I was. That's how I learned it. Because at that point I realized, okay, I've had sex with all the most beautiful women on planet Earth, so I know what all those flavors taste like. I found the greatest woman on planet Earth who was just. You've met her. Jesse's fucking awesome. She's so funny. She's so her band.
D
She's like a ball of light in not even a dark room specifically. Just like you just go around her energy Is just warm, awesome, high energy, bright light, like, she's amazing.
C
And that's what I realized. I just pushed the most amazing woman in my world and the world away.
D
Yeah.
C
And that's what I'm like. I hired three coaches, and I realized if I'm gonna get her back, I gotta move on. And if I'm gonna move on, I gotta move on. So I moved on and then learned the strategy of how to get her back. And within five to six months, she came back to me because she saw that I was this new, improved version. And my number one thing that I live by, and it's the number one rule of Married Game is become the most attractive version of you for you. I didn't do this for Jesse. And that's what a lot happens is a lot of guys, if they're not getting sex, they. And their wife gets mad and go, I don't feel connected. And I just, man, why can't you be like you used to be? And the guy goes, I'm so sorry. So he starts doing the dishes, doing the laundry. He starts trying to get his game up. And she watches this pathetic soul do all of this just to try and get something from her. And woman go, oh, there he is with his taker energy again. And he's not doing this because this is his standard. He's doing this because he's trying to get something from it. And we hate human beings that are trying to get stuff from us. We all hate takers, and most men in the relationship are takers, but they would never run a business that way. No business becomes radically valuable by taker. Taker, taker energy. It's all about giver energy. It's all about providing value. And yet every woman wants to look across the street, across the room, and go, that's my guy. And most of them are like, yeah, that's my guy.
D
Hey, that's the facts.
C
And that's how I learned it. Because then when I became this guy, I became back, ripped, beautiful, and amazing, but with a positive. How can I serve you, Jesse? Not because I'm your slave, but because I give a shit about you. I care about you. And. And then I developed this five dial system that makes it so fucking easy. A third grader could do it. And I know because a lot of my best friends are just the biggest knuckleheads as I was. And they're all of it up. And, like, I don't understand why my wife doesn't want to suck my dick anymore. I go, probably because you haven't had a real conversation within the last 18 months. That every time she sat down next to you and tried to touch your shoulder, like, should we head upstairs? And she's like, I'm not married to a seventh grader, you idiot. Can you not have a real conversation with me? And every guy listening to this is laughing like you because they're all saying the same thing that you might be sitting headed, like, that's me, right?
D
It is literally like, I mean it's like we're born this way, Keith, right? Like this is in, this is the part that I think when you talk to entrepreneurs, you got to learn the lessons, right? In, in, you know, guys are built different than women, right? That's irrefutable. But it's something that we can learn to adapt. And that's what you do such a brilliant job at with your clients and, you know, these, you know, Taipei High drivers, entrepreneurs that totally lose touch with what we're talking about, what you're talking about, they lose complete connection to that. And what I think you said to me, that was so valuable. You said a lot that was valuable, by the way. But this is the, like, there's no successful business that takes, take, take, take, take, take, take, take. Name one that just takes. They always provide the value first. Then you could go name every company, right? Tesla and Apple, and they provide the value. Walmart, right, they're providing low cost goods to people that need the low car like value first and then they get in return. And that to me just clicks something in my entrepreneurial brain, right? That we're wired like these again, like a monkey or whatever. Like we just were cavemen. And I think a lot of people need to rewind the last five minutes. That's what I would tell everyone right now. Because what he just said was pure gold. And especially for me, brother. I mean, go ahead, let me say.
C
This, you bald headed beloved. And I'm getting a little thin in the back, so I might be joining you here.
D
Come on with it, dog.
C
Yeah, bro, we're beautiful. You're beautiful. Hey, here's, here's. Let me give you another analogy that will just anchor that one home. So money is the byproduct of value. We all know that.
D
Yeah.
C
If you provide value, you get rich like that. There's not even, it's not even like, I wonder if I'm going to get rich. You go out in the world, you provide enough value, you watch what happens, motherfucker, you're going to get rich. And sex is the Byproduct of being a great fucking husband. It's the fruit. Most guys are like, I don't like the fruit of my tree. I need to figure out the fruit. I need a sex position. I need a toy. I need this. No dum dum. The only reason the fruit's bad is because the roots bad. So let's go look at the root of your problem, which is ding, ding, ding. You. And if you just. Let me just explain these five dials, unless you want to jump back. Did you like the analogy? Because it's pretty solid fruit, by the way.
D
First of all, we didn't know that you were a lyricist either. I didn't know you had the capabilities you have right now. But it is impressive, my friend. So let's knock these five. These five.
C
This is why I tell people I am the voice you trust when it comes to lust, and I am who you hire when she lacks desire. Let's go. All right, so five dials, real simple. Every guy, if he's finding himself, she goes, dude, my wife hasn't initiated. Oh, here. By the way, if she used to. And she used to be into you, you're her type. So you don't have to wonder if I can get her to love back me. Here's what most guys do. She meets you in the wild, so she's now seeing what she perceives as your best version of you. Because you weren't doing it for her. Because she just. You just met her, right? And she goes, okay, he's. He's this, this, this, and this. What happens is you either stop doing attractive things or you start doing unattractive things. Or in my case, and like most guys, we do both, we stop doing the attractive and start doing the unattractive. That chemical starts to drain out of her. The chemical I'm talking about is the butterfly. When she's texting that. I can't wait. I'm going, I can't wait. I can't believe I'm going on a date with this guy. And she's talking to her mom and her sister. She's getting all, let me try a new outfit. All that bleeds out of her. That's a mechanism that happens. It's natural. That same mechanism, when you start to do attractive things again and you stop doing the unattractive things, it starts to go back up. And she goes, what the fuck is happening to me? I'm feeling all these feelings again for you. And that's when she starts to test. Because people test what they want to Trust. She's like, is he doing this? Like, what. What happened? Is he just doing this to get something? Is this who he really is? Is this his new standard? And if you can pass those tests, which almost no guy knows how to. But we've got the code, because that's what we do. You gain her trust, and then when the trust goes up, the lust goes up. Now she starts to go, dude, yeah. I think actually sucking your dick in the back of the Escalade sounds like a really good idea. Let me suggest it to you, my good sir. And you're like, damn straight. Let's go. Or she starts tapping you under the table while you're eating sushi with our good friend Taylor and her good Taylor and his wife and two other people. And Jesse taps in the lane. She goes, dude, I need to. In the back of the. I need the. In the back of the sk. When we're done with this table. You are so hot right now. I'm like, you. We're gonna just. But I need to finish my steak here at Good Luck's, my lady.
D
That's right.
C
So these five dials will show you where you're up. And this is exactly where I fucked up. You get these five dials, and you become what we call a provocateur. A man who provokes his wife to lust after him. It's not something that you just trick her into. She's just like, I can't help it. I'm married to the man. So that being said, I like it the first. Anything you want to say to that before we dive into the dials?
D
No, I think, you know, I think this is what everyone. Every man would love, right? Is the provocateur where they are lusting after us, Right? I think, you know, that the funny part about it, and I even think about my own relationship, there's that, like, again, that season where you can do no wrong and they want you all the time, and it's all day, every day, full tilt, five times a day, right? And then whether you're doing things that aren't attractive to her or, you know, you are no longer being attractive, that. That's the breaking. And then we get sensitive. The funny part about this is we as entrepreneurs and men, you don't want me anymore. Why don't you ever try to make a move on me? Why don't you ever let me know? Why don't you ever come after me? Why do I. Out. And we're the man saying this to them, right? And this is not Just me saying it to you. This is. You're shaking your head because this is what your clients do. I know it. Right? And so I did it. You did it, right. I mean, everyone does it, right? And then you have to come down and realize, okay, I'm the problem. So let's go through these five entrepreneurs.
C
We love, frameworks we love. Okay, what do I got to these five things? If you nail these things, she'll be attracted to you. And that's what I actually, that's what that was. The big realization for me was attraction means somebody's leaning in, repelling means they're pushing away. Doesn't necessarily mean you don't have to have abs and biceps and everything. It's more about an energy. Does he care about me? Does he care about my needs? Does he care to hear me? Does he want to hear that story again about how I went and partied with such and such celebrity again? He probably doesn't, but he's going to pretend like he does because he knows it's important to me. The same way I'll sit and watch a fucking stupid football game and be like, did your team win? Oh, yeah, they won a non important league for a non important thing that's never going to make me any money that I'm super excited about to sit here for hours and hours and hours and talk to my buddies about. And you're going to sit here right next to me and ask me if it's working. Yeah, it's working. And she's like, yay. What a watches NFL's 8 hours on a Sunday and doesn't do with his family. But I'm still here cheering him up. Okay, now that the context is set.
D
Yeah.
C
Are we being honest enough on this call or.
D
Yeah. Are we calling it out? Are we saying how it should be said? Jesus. I love it though, because this is the brutal truth. This is why you have. What you have is because this has to be said or though there's always this screen up or a mask on about the reality of like, why divorce rate is so high. Why are, you know, couples splitting up? Why are men always complaining? Why are men cheating? A lot of it is what we're talking about right here. So I mean, the brutal truth, not everyone has to love this. I already know a lot of females are going to be like, I can't listen to this anymore. He said the vagina works too much. Okay. But the truth, the truth, one way or another, right? And then the other thing I would tell you is women always Want the high driver, high pusher, money maker, you know, the, you know, in our world, speaking on stage, notoriety, influencers, you know, ego. But then the downside of that, which is what we're talking about, then we get caught up on our own and we don't perform for them anymore. We're performing for an audience that we don't care about, and they lose the connectivity, right? And so, you know, definitely, just, definitely nailing it, right, Is what you're doing. And then again, I hope all the listeners go to marygame.com because this is the real. Right. I have a lot. You and I have a lot of mutual friends. A lot. And this is a reality, you know, when we sit in these rooms together, brother, this is, you know, this to be true. This is commonplace.
C
I mean, the vast majority listen to this statistic. 87% of men are not happy, not even happy in their marriage. 87. That's 9 out of 10. So 13 of men are happy and 2 of that percent. 2. 2% are still in a relationship where both people are obsessed with each other. That's wild, bro. It's so wild. And it's.
D
It's sad. I mean, it's sad, right? Yeah, it's sad.
C
It's why there's so much divorce. And. And here's the craziest thing. People get divorced and they become the most attractive version of themselves. And it's like, dude, could you.
D
Could you could.
C
Should you just try that six months earlier and see what happens? Here's the five dials. Guys can check themselves on and score themselves on very, very quickly. Number, number. The first dial is the parent dial. How good of a parent are you, really? Why? Because a woman is baking this thing for nine months, birthing into the world, and all she cares about is this baby going to survive and thrive. And most men are like, yeah, yeah, that's your job. I get it. Except there's two parents, and my little daughter doesn't have two moms. She has a mom and a dad. And she needs that masculinity to learn and grow and to be able to be nurtured the way she needs. Little boys need that masculine energy. Their dad wrestling with them, being active participant and investing in the stewardship of this child. And so when she looks at you not being a good dad, she just goes, she can't help but resent now. My wife said, I don't even want to have another kid with you. You're such a bad dad. That's why she left. And I forgot mother's Day. How big of a dodo bird do you have to be to forget Mother's Day? Well, that was me. And that was one of the 17 million reasons she left. So I would ask guys, on a parenting dial, scale of 1 to 10, where do you think you're at? Like, how good of a parent do you think? Or how good of a parent do you think she would rel. Most guys are going to score pretty good on this one because we do care about our lineage and our legacy and. And little League and all the fun, right? So most guys, yeah, I was horrible at that one. And I had three other kids before her. So she thought, oh, this guy's going to be great. He's going to be a great dad. That Dun dun. Nope. Fucking a switch, baby. I am a fucking horrible dad now. Once I got Jesse back, dude, I'm an excellent dad. I spend so much time with my daughter. We go. I can. When my. When my wife's brother passed away a couple years ago, I had Joby for eight days straight. Jesse didn't have to worry about her at all. We were fine. We're great. I would be. I'm a great dad now. But that is where she's going to judge you. That's dial number one. Dial number two is the partner dial. This one's huge. I call it the best friend dial. And that's what she felt like when she first started dating you, that you guys would sit and talk for hours. If you guys weren't be there, you'd be on the phone for hours. If not, you'd be in the car listening to your favorite songs. The windows would get steamed up. You'd have to turn on, roll down the windows, get the steam out. Like, it all looked like it was just nothing, but naughtiness was happening there. And you were rocking out to three doors down and telling stories about high school and all the other shit, right? Like that was. That was the reality. And then now she tries to call you at work. You're like, I'm really busy. I'm doing the Lord's work over here. I've got this deal, this deal. Maybe I'll see you when I get home. And she goes, what the happened to my best friend?
D
Yeah.
C
And so I say, guys have blue balls. Well, ladies have blue tongues. They want to ejaculate their words all over your face the same. You want to just nut all over her titties. Okay? That's what really was happening. But she comes home and you barely even talk to her. And if you do talk to your. She feels like, oh, he's just kind of listening so that I'll have sex with him later. This is where I go with all my clients, all my one on one clients. I go, we need to start here. Do you emotionally connect with your wife in any way, shape or form? And here's what's really the problem, especially for us entrepreneurs. If we like something, they know. We put a lot of prepper. Me and my buddy Garrett, we went to Costa Rica to surf. And I lined out everything. I got us jerseys. I knew where we were going to serve. I knew this. And she saw all this organization. She goes, I knew you added in you, you fucking cocksucker. And I was like, oh. And so she goes, but you won't do that for me. Which means I realize I'm not a priority in your life. And these women feel so fucking neglected and so alone and so on, emotionally connected that they're like, fuck you. You want a blowjob? Yeah, how about this? Why don't you ask me about what's going on in my day and actually care? Yeah, you did. In the beginning. No woman on planet earth would go out on a second date with a dude if she didn't feel connected to the guy.
D
Yep.
C
And definitely not say, I do, I'll be married to you forever if she didn't think, this is my guy. And yet most dudes, especially entrepreneurs, we are so about our thing that we're just, dude. Some guys are at home all over their and they're like, what? What'd you say? It's like, okay, you clearly are checked out and yet you want her to be enthusiastic about being naked with you. What are you crazy? That's dial number.
D
It's so funny you say that because I remember dating Stephanie. We were long distance, Miami to Scottsdale. I would FaceTime her every day. Every day I would jump on my phone and FaceTime her because I wanted her to realize and know that I'm not a typical douchebag. And I'm going to do more than what you're used to doing. And I'm serious, not just trying to get laid. Like, this is not normal, you know, boy stuff. Boys don't care. They text. Hey, you wanna like the line? You said, oh, we're obviously attracted to each other. You want to just go home and have sex. Like that's what they do. But it is very interesting to even think about when was the last time I genuinely faced time Her. And it wasn't her. And my daughter or her and my son. And I'm sitting, sitting here thinking as you're talking, like, when was the last time I just FaceTimed her to FaceTime her? I probably couldn't tell you. Now we're a little bit. In a season, there's always a kid on her, so we're a little bit on that. But that's an excuse. I still can do it. She doesn't have to answer it. Right? So interesting.
C
Not only that, but when's the last time you sent her, like, a joke or, hey, I saw this meme and thought of you, or oh, my God, this is so you. Like, you know, I just saw an Instagram reel today. And the lady goes, hey, would you like to go get ice cream? And he goes, no, I don't want to go. She goes, oh, okay. And he goes, but I'll go with you. And she's like, no, I don't really want. And then it had the girlfriend interpreter and it said, well, she doesn't want to go and have you watch her eat ice cream because that makes her feel like a fat cow. She only wants to go if you want to go. And then if you decide, oh, I'll go now. She goes, I don't want to go because now clearly you're just going for me and you're not going because it's going to make you happy. Dude, that's my wife. So I said that. I'm like, I'm like, ring a bell? And she goes, oh, my God, that's so me. Which then when you do that, your wife goes, he knows me. Oh, my man was thinking me at work and sending me this stupid fucking meme. That's me. And then they go, oh, that's what he would have done when he was dating me. Trying to give me and insert his disco stick all the fucking time. You were fun, you were. You were light hearted, you were flirty, you would send shit. You would just check in through the day. I was over my best friend's house, who is a client of ours and loves my wife calls during that calls her coach Jesse. And I said we were working on a weekend she was away. And I said, hey, let's just shoot a video for Jesse. I'm like, what's up, love? We're breaking down some frames. Hey, here you go. And he goes, coach Jesse, I love you, you're the best. Blah, blah, blah. 47 second video sent to do her, and her cup was just overflowing. Wow, they thought of me. I love those two idiots loving Idiots. So this best friend dial is like, it is the thing. You could suck at all these other things, but if you're no longer her best friend and she knows it, then you're gonna have some real problems. So I would have a. Guys, rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10, does your wife really feel like you're her best friend? She can share anything with you. She. You listen to her talk, you listen to her, you engage your curio. You're curious, you, you're comedic, you care. This is when most guys are really up. That's the thing.
D
No doubt. So we got parenting best friend. What's three partnering?
C
Okay. The third one is the producer dial, which is what these guys are great at. I've been great at producing for a long time. Have I had ups and downs? Yeah, I'm a business owner like everybody else, but I've been producing at a high level for a decade or more before I even met her. So I. 15 to 17 years, I've been crushing it by any standards. And she saw me take my foot off the gas. I. Guys do two things. Number one, they want, they do this. I'm doing this for you, the workaholic. I'm doing this for you. Which I told Jesse and she goes, except we don't see you, so you can believe your own, but we don't see you, so that doesn't work for us. And secondly, she watched me pull my foot off the gas because they had a lot of automations in my business and she like saw me like lose this drive to continue to expand and build and grow me as a human. So while I was bringing a bunch of dough, she's like, I, I don't. We were moving into our dream house, beautiful house, man. We had the cool cars, we had the dream house, we had all this. And she's like, I, I just, I'm not interested, man. Good luck. But, but women don't want to be in a, in a cloth seated Corolla in a one bedroom apartment forever. They want a man that's going somewhere that has dreams and passions and is actually taking action towards creating that.
D
So, so what did you call this third dial?
C
The producer dial.
D
So let me, let me. I mean, I'm just sitting here and we're friends and I know exactly what you do and how. I'm still sitting here thinking as if I just met you. Does this include like the fitness side? Does this include. It's not money, but like I had a conversation last night, literally last night with my wife and I just had this flip, this, the switch flip again, right. Every so often and I just go, I'm going to go win bigger, like. And I just look at my wife and I'm, I'm going to win. Now this can take some sacrifice because you know, my world is speaking on stages and travel and doing. But we need more, we need more vacations, we need more time, we need more. And she says, honey, I've never tried to slow you down. That was like, literally she was like, you haven't heard me say no to you. Going and having to do these things. Like go, fucking go win. That's what we're talking about right now. She wants not to say I've taking my foot off the gas, but maybe I don't feel that way, but like I, whatever reason last night what you were saying just rings a bell to my own world because I just got something in me last night. I said, God damn, I'm still playing small by all metrics. By all my friends, metric. I got a message the other day. I'm one of my friends I've known for 20 years, bro, I love watching you kill it. You are just crushing it. I love it. Keep going, blah, blah, right. Makes me feel good ego wise. But on my metric I'm like, bro, I still have so far to go.
C
Yeah.
D
Anyways, I say that to say I hear you, I hear what you're saying there. And women, you know, you can't sacrifice too much. Like I can't be gone 300 days a year and things of that nature. But like they appreciate the producer is what you're saying. They want the man that's going to go create for them.
C
It's built into their DNA. Yeah, it's called hypergamy is the actual term of it. Meaning they're always seeking to want to be with the man with the most resources because that ensures protection and resources for their offspring. So it's built into them to want to be that. So when they watch their man truly killing and remaining connected to them and they feel, they want to feel like they're a part of the crew that's doing badass so that when they changed up the fruit with you, they like, we did this, it's fucking awesome. I go, that's right, it's awesome. So yes, they want to see a man making his move. So I would say, and. And they don't want to see the guy that's like, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this. And he never fucking does Anything that is like, that's just masturbating with her heart, she's like, stop doing that. I want the real thing. Let's go. All right, so scale of 1 to 10, ask the guys. I'd ask yourself. If you're watching, listen to this. Hey, how. How good of a producer am I? Like, am I. Do I keep my word? Am I really about this life? Or am I at work scrolling around on Instagram and jerking off and pretending to be like, when I work, I want to work. I want to produce. I want to create something that's awesome. I believe we were created to create. And that's where I'm most happy. I want to create. I love this. This makes me happy. So that's the third dial. Producer dial. Now the fourth dial. Most guys on a scale of 1 to 10 on these first three dials are probably going to be Midland, maybe a little better. These are the three that most guys know of, and they're like, I should probably be these things. These next two, we are going to have some guys eating some serious dicks right now, because these next year, every guy, it's like, just falls right off the cliff. All right, so now we're about ready to get excited. Okay.
D
All right, let's. Let's rock. What's number four?
C
Fourth dial is the player dial. This is that dial. I came in £185. Target me wrapped in barbed wire. She's like, this is the man, dude. This guy's athletic. He's funny. He takes me on dates. We traveled, Jess and I think went to 37 different states at what? We've traveled all over, done all the cool thing. We ran the Rocky steps. We went to Cheers Bar in Boston. We've done. We've slept in a yacht in fucking Florida. We've all the things, you know what I mean? Thing after thing of all this shit. And then next thing you know, he doesn't take me out dancing anymore. He gained all this weight. He's not even fun anymore. We never go on dates, dude. It's like, as if he wears sweatpants all the time. And if we do go on a date, he's like, backwards ball cap, a Pepsi fucking T shirt that he got at Target. And it's like, she goes, you dress like a bum even though you got money. What? It's like. It's just like, you don't even care anymore. And why wouldn't you care? You used to care. And what happens is, guys stop putting in effort. And this player dial, they stop putting the effort of really, truly portraying themselves as the best version of them. Planning a date, getting excited. Because here's the. Here's the truth of the matter. When I came to realize this was the truth of the matter. If every guy here was just. They instantly became single right now. And the hot chick from high school slid into their dms. For me, it was Kristen Bennett, head cheerleader. God, I wanted to her so bad. Never got a time of day. Sat next to me in algebra class. I cheated off her test, but never got to hang out with her, right? If Kristen Bennett shows up in my DMs, he's like, hey, life looks pretty good. We should connect. I'd be like, yeah, let's go. How would any guy show up to that date? Would they be wearing their dad's sport coat that's three sizes too big? Would they be having tassels on their leather shoes or pleated khaki pants? No, they wouldn't. They would be feeling good. They'd be doing their pushups. They'd be smelling good. They'd be putting effort into. Okay, we're going to go here, then. We're going to go here. Where are we going and why? Because they want to get laid, but they recognize with anybody new, you're going to have to put in some effort. Why the fuck don't you put any effort in? Most guys, I go, when's the last time you went on a date? Like, oh, dude, it's like six weeks ago. I'm like, what'd you do? Well, we went to Home Depot, pick up some parts for the house. And then we went thick filet. And I'm like, well, no, Casanova. No wonder you're not getting more ass in a toilet seat, dude. You're not putting any effort at all. And yet you're expecting her to be like, when does the golden get home? I cannot wait to find that thing. It's like, it's not gonna happen. These guys have had their brains just ripped out of their thing there. And dude, dude, to quote the great American poet Cyndi Lauper, she said, girls just wanna have fun.
D
Yeah.
C
That's the true is true of all truth. Girls want to have fun and most guys are not fun anymore.
D
I love it. I love it. Okay, number five. And by the way, that I feel like that would be the easiest, but it may because I actually feel like I do an okay job of this. There's always room for a room. But I actually probably do a pretty good job, right, that she goes with me. We Go dates. We do date night and whatever. But I feel like that's probably the easiest thing to fix, right? Because it also kind of serves the ego right. Like, all right, let me get all dappered up. Let me look good. Let me smell good. Let me go take my girl out. Let her know, like, dress to the nines. Like, maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like that would be such an easy fix if I was in the dump on that. That's like a. Hang tight. Let me put on my best dread. Let me, you know, let me go buy a new jacket, a new thing. Let me feel the swag again and then deliver that onto her. Anyways, I. That one. I feel like we. We as men can do better. That's an easy fix.
C
But. But this will be one of the lowest scores if they rate themselves on a scale of one.
D
Yeah, dude.
C
You'd be like, I'm. I'm no longer fun. And if you don't do the partner, dial a date for her might be like, yeah, I actually. I would. I gotta go hang out alone with you now. Oh, God, that sounds horrible. So some guys, when they come in, I go, hey, you need to start dating. Your wife's like, dude, she won't go. I go, okay, well, here's what you got to do. You need to go by yourself then and prove to her that you getting out and having fun is a real thing to you. And then she'll eventually follow and mirror you. These women are just the mirrors of us. And this is what happens for guys. They go, my wife's a C minus or a D. Her attitude sucks. I go, she's just mirroring you. So that means you're a C minus or D in her opinion. Because any woman. If Chris Brown walked by any woman, or if the. The guy off of Grey's Anatomy or.
D
You know, you just showed your age on that one. You couldn't have said, like, Drake. You couldn't have said, like, some. Just really easy, you know. You said Grey's Anatomy.
C
Yeah. I kiss. Can't, bro. It's. They all love Patrick Dempsey. They all love the. The Aquaman. They all love these Thor types, dudes. So I. My question is, would she show up like that for him? No. Because of how she views him. So you need to become the A plus version of you because you need your side of the street clean. And then watch how she mirrors you. And if she doesn't, that's a different story. But until you can look in the mirror and go, I'm An A fucking plus version of me. You, my friend, are in delusionalville and you're expecting somebody to give you something you're not worthy of. Truly. And most guys really drop the ball on the player dial. They're wearing their sweatpants all over. They don't smell very good. Their breath stinks. It's like, dude, these are some basics. You're right. These should be simple. Guys stop flirting with their wife, or all they do is just try and grab her tit when they walk by. It's like, okay, so this is. Not again junior high. So guys just don't understand actually how women work, that if you can speak to their soul, they will gladly give you their hole.
D
I love that. And like football, baby. Oh, no. Too good. All right, number five, brother. Number five. To bring it all full circle. What is number five?
C
The power dial. Hour dial is. The overarching theme of this one is do what you say you're going to do when you say you're going to do it without fault. Let me give you an example. We move into a new house, and Jesse goes, hey, can you hang these pictures in this little corner? No problem. I'd love to. A week later, she goes, remember the pictures? Ah, yes, yes. No problem. Two weeks after that, she's like, dude, I'm not trying to be a nag, but remember the pictures. Yeah, yeah, I got it. I just been real busy. But six weeks later, she's like, all right. Like, dude, you've told me about this and it doesn't happen. Or, hey, I want to get home from work at this time. And you never do. And there's always an excuse. There's always a reason. And she's just like, I can't trust your word again. When the trust goes down, the lust goes down. So she sees a man who's not in his power. But there's other factors of this. Like, we ask these questions. Did you do your personal development for her to notice, or did you do it for you? And if she doesn't notice, do you get butt hurt? I don't have beautiful biceps and amazing calves so that Jesse can be like, wow, I do these because I want these. I want these. The other one is, did you edit or audit your shine for fear of upsetting her? Meaning she wants your real opinion. You're like, well, I don't want to upset her. This is. This is the third Thursday of the month. I'm supposed to get late tonight, and if I actually tell my real opinion. And so she goes, this guy's a flip flopping. He's saying this, but then saying this and. And he's not really saying his real opinion. The most attractive thing for a woman to see in a man is that he's comfortable in his skin and he doesn't change his opinion to try and get something out of people. That's weakness and horrible. That's what weak people do. And then how about this? Men get afraid to ask. They're afraid to initiate out of. For fear of rejection. Or when they get rejected, they act like pouty little bitches. Why don't you say yes? And then we start stomping around getting all passive aggressive. But I got laid around here more. Maybe I'd hang more paintings. It's like, what are you talking about, bro? This is. This is. And then she goes, this is so unattractive. The other one is asking and seeking permission when you don't need to. My buddy calls me up, he goes, hey, what are you doing this Saturday? I don't know. Let me see if I've committed anything, but I'm not going to ask. Jesse, Jesse, can I go hang out with my friends this Saturday? She's not. We call that the mom matrix. And you ma, I don't know where. I don't know what's like in Florida, but dude, out here, dude, moms do not want to have sex with their kids. Most guys treat their wives like their mom. Like, can I go do this? Did you see what I did? Did I get a gold star and a cookie and nookie and a tap on my head. And this lady is like, what the man? I married a man, not a child. So anytime a woman goes like, I got two kids. Well, I got my husband. I got three. That's a problem. Or if someone comes up and asks your wife and goes, hey, do you think so? And so is cheating on you. She goes, who would want to him? These are problems. And this is how she. So when it comes to the power dial it. These are things that guys up all the time. They're like, I'm trying to get to. I'm trying to do this so she'll like me. It's like. And that's why she doesn't fucking like you. And when you come to like, why aren't we having more sex? And she's just like, because you are acting like this and you're asking this. Become the man that is worthy of all the sex. A dude just dripping with pussy and watch what happens.
D
No doubt. I think you know, listen crazy like this.
C
I go, bro, that's really strong. He goes, why? So they go, what? I go, you're repellent. Can you not spend someone coming out with this, man?
D
I think what the first thing I'll say is, make sure you go to marriage game.com, get a hold of Keith if you have any of these issues.
C
Married Married Game.
D
Married game dot com. Married game dot com. Get old. Because if. Listen, I frankly, I've been supposed to hang a bookshelf for weeks, and I haven't.
C
And I just. I'm like, oh, maybe. Maybe that's why.
D
So listen, I mean, we're all victims of it at certain levels. You have your pros, you know, your highs, your lows. But this is a guy that I would highly encourage. All men, all drivers, all entrepreneurs that have lost track a little bit. Like, it's not as simple as the cliche. In my opinion, what you do is the complexity of not just being cliche, of, like, you always want to date your wife. I get it. I get the concept of it, right? You want to be the player game you want to have. But there's levels, there's five stages to what you need to perfect to make sure that this really still works. And that's why Married Game is incredible, dude. And thank you for blessing this podcast. Everyone needs to hit up Keith on social media, go to married game.com. where else do they need to go, bro?
C
That. Just go there, and that's. That's everything that you would need. And, dude, you hung out with Jesse and I, so, you know, this isn't me just sending a bunch of down the Internet tube hoping somebody buys it. This is. It's real. And that's how so many of my friends actually have come. They're like, dude, like, your relationship is the realest thing. Like, you guys genuinely really dig each other. I go, yeah, you should have seen this eight years ago. She left my ass. So I've come from the back of the pack, and yet every one of my. Almost every single one of my friends is like, a client in some way, shape or form. Or at least they ask me questions like, hey, dude, I'm kind of this up. What do you think? Like, oh, let me. Oh, you're doing this.
D
Like, hang the bookshelf, Colby. Fucking hang. Jesus Christ, hang the damn bookshelf already.
C
Hey, if. If it was some hot chick and she goes, I can't wait for you to come over. I've got the greatest lingerie. I can't wait for you. Can you hang this bookshelf real quick that would have been hung yesterday.
D
This.
C
We live these double standards and our wives know it. And they're like so marriedgame.com let's if you're suffering from DDS, aka dry dick syndrome, head to mary gaming.com and we will get you healed, my brother. Appreciate you dude.
D
Love you too, man. Thank you for blessing this audience. If you're watching this, throw some comments. Number one, two, three, what's what? Where are you, you know, deficient? Go to marriedgame.com and if this helped even a little bit or you know, a couple guys that need to hear this, like legit need to hear this or watch this, share this with a couple of your friends, I'd appreciate it. Keith would appreciate it. And your buddies, they would really appreciate it. All right, y'all, that's it for today. See you on the next podcast with another great guest.
A
Carl's Jr. S big.
C
Carl fans know nothing beats the layers and layers of flavor of a Big Carl. Nothing beats that char bod beef, American cheese, and tangy Carl's classic sauce. Nothing except getting a second Big Carl for just $1. Big Carl just one upped itself for just one buck. To buy one Big Carl, get one for a buck. Deal only Carl's Jr Good Burger available for a limited time at participating restaurants. Tax not included. Price may vary. Not valid with any other offer, discount or combo.
B
Is it time to reimagine your future? The right business skills may make a difference in your career. At Capella University, we offer a relevant education that's designed to focus on what you need to know in the business world. We'll teach professional skills to help you pursue your goals like business management, strategic planning, and effective communication. And you can apply these skills right away. A different future is closer than you think with Capella University. Learn more at Capella Edu.
E
Hey everybody, I'm Trevor Sikkima, host of the PFF NFL show, here to tell you what you can find on all of our shows throughout the week. On Mondays, we have the Grade Release show where myself and Dalton Wasserman break down every single game that you just saw in the NFL. On Tuesdays, we have the Quarterback Breakdown with Seth Galena. On Wednesdays we've got the Rookie Review with John Ledyard and the preview for the upcoming week in the NFL. So make sure you are subscribed to the PFF NFL show wherever you get your podcasts.
Summary of "Entrepreneurs Need These 5 Keys To Reignite Their Marriage and Passion | Keith Yackey | EP 39"
The Entrepreneur DNA, hosted by Justin Colby of Bleav, is dedicated to empowering entrepreneurs seeking to scale their businesses while nurturing their personal lives. In Episode 39, released on September 30, 2024, Justin welcomes Keith Yackey, a renowned expert in relationship dynamics for high-achieving men. The episode delves deep into the five essential keys—or "dials"—that entrepreneurs must master to rekindle their marriages and reignite passion with their partners. Through candid discussions, personal anecdotes, and actionable strategies, Keith provides a comprehensive roadmap for men to enhance both their professional and personal lives.
Entrepreneurs often grapple with balancing the demands of their businesses with maintaining healthy, passionate relationships. Keith Yackey addresses this challenge by identifying five critical areas that, when optimized, can transform marital satisfaction and personal fulfillment. The conversation is candid, raw, and filled with insights drawn from Keith's extensive experience coaching high-profile clients and his own personal journey.
Keith begins by highlighting a prevalent issue among male entrepreneurs: while they excel in protecting, providing, and producing for their families, they often neglect the emotional connection with their partners. This imbalance leads to feelings of neglect and rejection, diminishing both trust and intimacy within the marriage.
Keith introduces five critical areas—referred to as "dials"—that men need to focus on to enhance their marriages. Each dial addresses a specific aspect of the relationship that, when optimized, can lead to renewed passion and deeper connection.
Focus: Quality of Parenting
Keith underscores the importance of being an engaged and nurturing parent. A husband's role as a father significantly influences his partner's perception of him and the overall health of the relationship.
Actionable Steps:
Focus: Emotional Connection and Friendship
Being a best friend to your partner is crucial. This dial emphasizes the need for open communication, shared interests, and emotional intimacy.
Actionable Steps:
Focus: Drive and Ambition
While entrepreneurs are typically driven in their professional lives, maintaining that same level of ambition and drive in personal growth is essential for relationship satisfaction.
Actionable Steps:
Focus: Attractiveness and Effort
Maintaining physical attractiveness and putting effort into the relationship are vital for sustaining passion. This dial involves taking proactive steps to remain desirable and invested in the relationship's vibrancy.
Actionable Steps:
Focus: Trust and Reliability
The Power Dial represents the overarching theme of trust and dependability. Being a man of your word and consistently following through on promises is fundamental to building and maintaining trust.
Actionable Steps:
Keith shares his personal journey of marriage and divorce, providing a relatable narrative that underscores the importance of the five dials. He recounts how his lack of attention to these areas led to the breakdown of his first marriage, despite his professional success.
Keith’s subsequent personal development and focus on the five dials enabled him to rebuild his relationship, leading to a harmonious marriage with Jessie Joy. His transformation serves as a testament to the efficacy of addressing these critical areas.
Throughout the episode, Keith provides practical advice tailored for entrepreneurs struggling to balance their demanding careers with personal relationships.
Mindset Shift:
Men must first acknowledge their role in relationship challenges. Recognizing oneself as the problem is essential for initiating meaningful change.
Self-Assessment:
Regularly evaluate each of the five dials to identify areas needing improvement. Use a simple rating system to measure progress.
Consistent Effort:
Implement small, consistent changes rather than waiting for major overhauls. Building better habits leads to sustained improvement.
Seek Support:
Engage with resources like marriedgame.com for personalized coaching and strategies to enhance relationship dynamics.
Notable Quote:
Keith (35:47):
“Guys stopped putting in effort. [...] Why the fuck don't you put any effort in? Most guys, I go, when's the last time you went on a date? Like, oh, dude, it's like six weeks ago.”
On Self-Responsibility:
Keith (05:40):
“He’s got to shift his mindset. [...] I'm the problem. I'm the problem. Me. Which also births the hope of, if you're the problem, you're also the solution.”
On Emotional Connection:
Keith (27:29):
“Do you emotionally connect with your wife in any way, shape or form?”
On Attractiveness and Effort:
Keith (40:48):
“Girls just wanna have fun and most guys are not fun anymore.”
On Trust and Reliability:
Keith (47:59):
“When you come to like, why aren't we having more sex? And she's just like, because you are acting like this and you're asking this.”
Keith Yackey’s insights emphasize that entrepreneurial success should not come at the expense of personal relationships. By focusing on the five dials—Parent, Partner, Producer, Player, and Power—men can create a balanced life where both their professional ambitions and personal relationships thrive.
Key Takeaways:
Balanced Success:
True success encompasses both business achievements and fulfilling personal relationships.
Continuous Improvement:
Just as entrepreneurs strive for growth in their businesses, they should also seek continual improvement in their personal lives.
Holistic Approach:
Addressing emotional, physical, and trust-based aspects of a relationship ensures comprehensive relationship health.
Final Thoughts:
The episode serves as a crucial reminder that behind every successful entrepreneur is a supportive and fulfilling personal life. By implementing Keith Yackey’s five dials, listeners can work towards achieving harmony between their business endeavors and personal happiness.
This summary encapsulates the core discussions and insights from Episode 39 of The Entrepreneur DNA podcast. By focusing on the five dials presented by Keith Yackey, entrepreneurs can navigate the complexities of balancing business success with a passionate and fulfilling marriage.