Podcast Summary: The Entrepreneur DNA – “How Being a Slave to Your Feelings is Sabotaging Your Success” featuring Gary Coxe | EP 44
Introduction
In Episode 44 of The Entrepreneur DNA, host Justin Colby engages in a profound conversation with guest Gary Coxe, a multimillionaire entrepreneur who has overcome significant personal and financial challenges. The episode delves into the psychological barriers that hinder entrepreneurial success, particularly focusing on how being "a slave to your feelings" can sabotage one’s progress. Gary shares his transformative journey from financial ruin and escaping a cult to becoming a successful coach and mentor for other entrepreneurs.
Gary Coxe's Personal Journey
Leaving the Cult and Financial Ruin
Gary Coxe opens up about his tumultuous past, revealing that he was deeply involved in a cult until his forties. This period was marked by severe personal losses, including the deaths of his grandfather and stepfather due to cancer, alcohol, and a plane crash, culminating in the tragic loss of his father at the age of 21. These experiences plunged him into significant debt, totaling $350,000, leaving him living on an air mattress in his office.
Gary Coxe [03:09]: "Born and raised in that [cult]. I left that in my 40s. And when you leave this cult, your so-called friends and family are programmed to shun you and treat you as if you're dead for the rest of your life."
Despite these overwhelming circumstances, Gary refused to succumb to defeat. His determination to rebuild his life taught him invaluable lessons about reprogramming his mindset, which he now imparts to other entrepreneurs.
Understanding Emotional Programming
The Impact of Trauma on Success
Gary explains that individuals are the sum of all their experiences, which shape their beliefs and behaviors. Negative traumas, often stored subconsciously, can significantly impede personal and professional growth.
Gary Coxe [02:17]: "When we have negative trauma, subconsciously it programs us."
He illustrates this with personal anecdotes, such as refusing to pursue aviation despite his passion because his mother internalized the fear after his uncle's death in a plane crash.
Conscious Awareness and Validation of Beliefs
A key concept Gary introduces is the idea that our brains constantly validate our beliefs, whether accurate or not. This continuous validation can reinforce negative patterns unless consciously addressed.
Gary Coxe [06:45]: "Your brain will validate all of your beliefs, whether they are right or wrong."
He emphasizes the importance of being aware of this validation process to prevent negative beliefs from dictating one’s actions and limiting success.
The Role of Belief and Value
Belief Systems
Gary differentiates between belief and value, emphasizing that belief alone is not sufficient for success. One must also attach significant value to their goals to sustain the necessary actions.
Gary Coxe [10:51]: "Belief is not everything. How many times do you or people who believe but don't take action?"
Value
Value represents the importance placed on a belief. Without high value, even strong beliefs may not translate into consistent action.
Gary Coxe [11:56]: "Value is the level of importance you place on it."
He discusses how leveraging both belief and value can create unstoppable momentum in achieving entrepreneurial goals.
Overcoming Emotional Slavery in Sales
Persistence and Managing Rejection
Drawing from his extensive experience in sales, Gary highlights the significance of persistence and the psychological barriers that prevent entrepreneurs from maintaining consistent effort.
Gary Coxe [19:07]: "The problem is we've been programmed to be a slave to our feelings."
He shares strategies to overcome the fear of rejection, such as separating personal emotions from professional actions and consistently taking massive action despite setbacks.
Example of Overcoming Negative Validation
Gary recounts instances where repeated sales calls, despite initial rejections, eventually led to successful outcomes. He stresses the importance of not letting negative experiences validate self-limiting beliefs.
Gary Coxe [22:57]: "The moment it goes and happens, light goes on. So now they connect rejection with results. No longer rejection, more results."
Coaching and Aligning Beliefs
Understanding and Aligning with Clients
Gary discusses his coaching philosophy, emphasizing the need to understand and align with clients' belief systems and values. He advocates for common sense and individualized approaches rather than blindly following the advice of high-status individuals.
Gary Coxe [31:28]: "Use common sense. So if you're going to get somebody involved into your life, into your business, are their belief systems matching yours?"
Customized Coaching Strategies
By tailoring his coaching to match each client's unique values and beliefs, Gary helps them reprogram their minds to support their entrepreneurial ambitions effectively.
Gary Coxe [32:35]: "And value what's in. What's important to them."
He also shares insights on maintaining confidence and consistency, comparing it to the rigorous training pilots undergo to ensure proficiency.
Final Insights and Takeaways
Living Beyond Emotional Slavery
Gary concludes by reaffirming the importance of overcoming emotional barriers to achieve entrepreneurial success. He encourages listeners to take proactive steps in reprogramming their minds and aligning their beliefs and values with their goals.
Gary Coxe [35:54]: "If you need to make a change that you've been fighting on, there's something out there that can change it that quick. There is something out there."
Call to Action
Gary promotes his coaching program designed to help entrepreneurs accelerate their business growth by addressing psychological obstacles and fostering a resilient mindset.
Gary Coxe [35:52]: "It's 300 bucks to spend two hours a day with me. It's, it's huge value."
Notable Quotes
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Gary Coxe [02:17]: "We are the sum total of everything that we've ever experienced... we have to decide I'm going to not allow this experience to program me."
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Gary Coxe [06:45]: "Your brain will validate all of your beliefs, whether they are right or wrong."
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Gary Coxe [10:52]: "Belief is not everything."
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Gary Coxe [19:07]: "We've been programmed to be a slave to our feelings."
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Gary Coxe [22:57]: "Connect rejection with results. No longer rejection, more results."
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Gary Coxe [31:28]: "Use common sense."
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Gary Coxe [35:54]: "There's something out there that can change it that quick."
Conclusion
This episode of The Entrepreneur DNA offers a deep dive into the psychological challenges faced by entrepreneurs, particularly the struggle against being controlled by one's emotions and past traumas. Gary Coxe’s candid recounting of his experiences and his actionable strategies for reprogramming the mind provide valuable insights for anyone looking to overcome personal barriers and achieve substantial business success. His emphasis on belief, value, and conscious action serves as a powerful reminder that mastering one’s inner world is crucial for external achievements.
Connect with Gary Coxe:
- Website: garycox.com
- Social Media: Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube
Join Gary’s Coaching Program: Enhance your entrepreneurial mindset and accelerate your business growth by enrolling in Gary’s one-week intensive program.
