← The Entrepreneur DNA
The Entrepreneur DNA
How Being a Slave to Your Feelings is Sabotaging Your Success | Gary Coxe | EP 44
00:33:00
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- [00:01]
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- [00:30]
Gary Cox
Carl's Jr. S. Big Carl fans know.
- [00:33]
Justin
Nothing beats the layers and layers of.
- [00:35]
Gary Cox
Flavor of a Big Carl. Nothing beats that char, grilled beef, American cheese and tangy Carl's plastic sauce. Nothing except getting a second Big Carl for just $1. Big Carl, just one. Ups itself for just one buck to buy one Big Carl, get one for a buck. Deal only at Carl's Jr. Big Burger. Good Burger, available for a limited time at participating restaurants. Tax not included. Price may vary. Not valid with any other offer, discount or combo. So one of the things I encourage people to understand is that we are a. We're the sum total of everything that we've ever experienced from the day that we were born to this very moment. And who we are today stems from the culture we're in, the religion you were in, whoever raised you, the movies you watched, the trauma you went through. And we have to get to a point where we decide, wait a minute, I'm going to not. Or I'm going to allow this experience to program me. And most people are not consciously aware of that. And so what happens is, is when we have negative trauma, subconsciously it programs us. You know, like somebody has a car accident. You know, I knew one guy, he walked around town because unfortunately his wife died in a car. So now he never goes in a car. You know, my uncle was killed in a plane crash. I'm an avid aviation fan. I fly helicopters and jets and you name it. Even though my uncle got killed in a plane crash, my mom. The moment he died in a plane crash, my mom and I, this was not cool for me. But anyway, I understand where she's at. So I go to my flight school to take my next lesson. And my flight instructor says, you can't take a lesson. I go, what do you mean I can't take a lesson? Your mom called and said, you're done. Yeah, because my mom bought into the belief because her brother just died in a plane crash, my uncle, that I shouldn't be flying either.
- [02:12]
Justin
Yeah.
- [02:13]
Gary Cox
If that was the case, we may as well just all Live in a cave and do nothing.
- [02:18]
Justin
What is up? The entrepreneur DNA family. We are back with another incredible guest. Very interesting guest. He is a individual that came from being in a cult. He has also lost everything financially, down to $350,000 and debt. And he has made it all back and is refreshed in teaching other entrepreneurs how to be amazing. Multimillionaire Gary Cox is in the house. What's up, partner?
- [02:42]
Gary Cox
Man. Good to be here, my friend. Good to be here. Finally get to meet you in person.
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Justin
Yeah.
- [02:46]
Gary Cox
Good stuff.
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Justin
I've been on the phone a lot recently. Yeah. And you do something very special. But I have to come right out of the gate. You were in a cult?
- [02:54]
Gary Cox
I was about, yeah. I had a crazy story not to, you know, I don't want to bore anybody, but was very successful as a teenager making over $100,000 a year. Got married, my wife and I had a baby. Then it changed the trajectory of my life forever. Later on she tells me, Justin, that that baby wasn't mine.
- [03:10]
Justin
Oh.
- [03:11]
Gary Cox
Grandfather and stepfather died. Cancer, alcohol. Killed in a plane crash. I get a phone call from my mother that my father had just been shot point blank in his chest, drowned in his own blood. All this by the time I was 21 years of age. As you mentioned, I was in a cult. Born and raised in that. I left that in my 40s. And when you leave this cult, your so called friends and family are programmed to shun you and treat you as if you're dead for the rest of your life. That put me in the tailspin. $350,000 in debt. Literally living on my mattress, air mattress on the floor in my office. Went to the gym. Not to take to work out, but to take my showers and turn it all around. So it's taught me the ability to. How to re literally reprogram my thinking. And I did like three years on Dr. Phil show the doctor showing people. And I claimed it's not in an arrogant way that I can do in an hour what a therapist or consultants don't do in a year. Because I've been through so much. So I understand how we work and how we think it. You can't just, you know, it's like what we'll talk about today is how often do we know the things that we need to do. You know, the quit smoking, the losing weight, the increasing your income, but you can't get yourself to do it. What's the psychological reason behind that? And when you understand the psychology, you understand how to make changes quickly and that that's what I'm about, how to take massive action, take changes quickly, no matter what's happened to you in your past.
- [04:23]
Justin
Well, and you have heard my podcast before and you know some of these guests and the stories behind it, and you have a very similar story, not similar to anyone else, but you had every reason to call it quits. You had every reason to hang it up, to just be mediocre, to be blah, go work at Best Buy or wherever, Right. And just exist.
- [04:43]
Gary Cox
Yep.
- [04:44]
Justin
Why or how did you choose not to do that?
- [04:48]
Gary Cox
Man, I just don't want to feel defeated. I don't want to lose. I just, I mean, I'm like, I could cry, right? I just refuse to lose. I, you know, not in a win, lose, you know, football game type of thing. But I don't want life to beat me, and I definitely don't want that freaking cult to beat me.
- [05:03]
Justin
Right.
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Gary Cox
And here's what I found out where this relates to so many people and everybody actually watching the problems that people have in their business and in their personal life stem from the trauma that you have stuck in your emotional hard drive. And if you don't know how to clean that out and know the patterns of behavior that it keeps you in, that keeps you from having more success, then you'll keep doing the definition of insanity, right. Doing the same thing over and over again and getting the same results. So what I help people do is, you know, when you think about your computer's hard drive, right? You actually, you know, you've been on your computer before and it gets real slow or bogged down. The reason it does it, it's your fault. You don't even know you're doing it. You're bogging it down. You know, you go online and you see a PDF you want to downlo. You click it once. And if you get like me, you get a little impatient. So what do you do now? You double click it. You literally downloaded that three times.
- [05:48]
Justin
Yeah.
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Gary Cox
Now imagine doing that for many months or many years. Your computer is going to slow down. No doubt we work the exact same way. So if you had something happen to you when you were five years old or five years ago, five days ago, every time you relive that in your mind, you're programming your cycle deeper and deeper and deeper. And if you don't know how to clean that stuff out, you're going to feel like you're pushing a parked car. You'll be active, but you feel like you're accomplishing nothing. Active, but accomplishing Nothing.
- [06:12]
Justin
So give me step number one in. You know, again, you've heard me say this, but I have a five laws of success. The first is decide what you want and then, you know, decide who you need to be to get that thing you want. Right. What would be the first step for someone to be able to unwind, if you could. And it's probably not a one step.
- [06:29]
Gary Cox
Or it's not, you're right. But you're going on the right course. So here, here, here's one of the things that I tell people to do. And if you're taking notes and you're able to, I'm going to strongly suggest you jot this down. If you're not taking notes, I'm going to strongly suggest you shot this down. Or at least remember this. Here's the thing. Your brain will validate all of your beliefs, whether they are right or wrong.
- [06:45]
Justin
Yep.
- [06:46]
Gary Cox
All right. So one of the things that I had to break is my life was so hard. I mean, how, how could I not associate that? My life was pretty hard. I got proof to validate, right?
- [06:55]
Justin
I would say your life was pretty darn hard.
- [06:57]
Gary Cox
So what I have to do is I have to make sure I don't validate that. So here's how I could validate that. Let's say I leave today and, you know, the car breaks down or whatever because, oh, my God, I just. Nothing goes right for me. The moment I say that, I'm validating that belief that nothing goes right for me. So now what I have to do is if something like that happens, I have to say something differently. So I don't validate, like, well, you know, it's life. That's. It's the way, you know, I win more than I lose, things like that. And you're validating your beliefs all day long for the good and also for the bad. But most people are not consciously aware of that. So if you could be consciously aware that you validate all of your beliefs, whether they are right or wrong. NetCredit is here to say yes to a personal loan or line of credit. When other lenders say no, apply in minutes and get a decision as soon as the same day. If approved, applications are typically funded the next business day or sooner. Loans offered by NetCredit or lending partner banks and serviced by NetCredit applications subject to review and approval. Learn more at netcredit.com partner NetCredit credit to the people.
- [08:05]
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- [09:08]
Gary Cox
And then learn to validate. And when you're doing it. So when you're going about your day, what are the beliefs that you're validating all day long? And that's where conscious awareness is so, so, so important.
- [09:19]
Justin
And so when you define, define conscious awareness, because to me, I'll tell you, when you say it, here's how I register it. You're aware of the thoughts you are having and you immediately can be conscious to say, let's say it was negative. Let's say your car breaks down. Yeah. Say, oh, why me? This always happens to me, blah, blah, blah. Right. But you're consciously saying, wait a minute, stop that thought process. This is happening for a reason. So I can increase my patience level because I am, or whatever, I am deserving to have a higher interest or a patience level.
- [09:49]
Gary Cox
Yep.
- [09:49]
Justin
And I can come out of this with more gratitude. Something of that nature.
- [09:53]
Gary Cox
Something of that nature. But here's, here's the challenge with a lot of this. And it's not positive thinking, because positive thinking is like spray paint on rust. It does not last long. I mean, you get a car that's rusty and you sand it and spray it, it looks good for a week or two, if that, then the rust comes back. So you have to get to the core. So now that you're trying to change it, we're not just talking about reframing. Because let's say you say you can't and I say, oh, just say you can. Well, you can say you can and you can, you can do you're blue in the face. If you still believe you can't, then you can't. So it's not just changing the story. You have to believe the story, then that changes your life. So now the reason when we say something and don't feel it, so how do you know you bought a belief? Is when you say something new and you feel it, that's how you know you bought a belief. Why is that important to know? Because for every belief you act on, you get a result. So if you see results in your life that you're not happy with, you have to identify the belief system that causes that. But here's the other thing. Most people will tell you that beliefs are everything.
- [10:52]
Justin
Bull.
- [10:52]
Gary Cox
Belief is not everything. How many times do you or, you know, people who believe but don't take action? So there's another part of the formula that you have to have to be able to take massive action. And when you have these two things and learn, for lack of a better term, learn how to manipulate them with your own mind, you are unstoppable. So the first is belief. The second is value. Value is the level of importance you place on it. That is why you can believe about their ability to do something, but you don't do anything. You can say that you value success, but if you're not doing it, that means your value of success is not as high as you would like it to be or as like you say it is. So then when you get excited about something, let's say you make a great deal, right? You flip something and you're just so excited. What actually is happening without you knowing it is your what and what is increasing. Your value and belief is subconsciously increasing instantly. The importance for you to know that it's doing it is because what happens when it goes down, if it's going down, which it will, and if you don't know it's going down consciously, how are you going to stop it to keep it from going down even further?
- [11:57]
Justin
Yeah.
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Gary Cox
So now you become an emotional roller coaster wherever you go, wherever the wind blows, that's where you go. And you PC. You see people do this in losing weight, right? They'll lose a thousand pounds over a lifetime. Relationships back and forth and back and forth. People definitely do within their financing.
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Justin
Oh, of course. So I'll. I'll relate to something. I've done everything. Tony Robbins over my entrepreneur world.
- [12:19]
Gary Cox
Yeah.
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Justin
He's been incredibly impactful for me. So he relates this belief, the what you're saying when you feel it, that is. No, that is how you know it is a belief.
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Gary Cox
Y.
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Justin
That's when he's saying you need to be doing something aligned with your thoughts that physically, right, anatomically you are moving to create the energy to develop that belief. Is that in alignment with kind of what? Now, I'm not saying you need to go do jumping jacks when you're, you know, car break stuff, right?
- [12:45]
Gary Cox
It is an alignment, but it's still also what is the thought process that's creating the new belief? You get really, really amazing at this when you can understand that when you have an experience, right? Any, any experience that you have, you have to understand there's a positive viewpoint and a negative viewpoint. There's no such thing as a one sided coin. So everything has to have two sides. So what happens is if we're not careful, we'll allow the negative crap that happens in the day or in our past that's stuck in the emotional hard drive. We'll allow it to suppress all positive stuff. And then when that happens is we take a snowball and we just deep dive into the crap. So one of the things I encourage people to understand is that we are a. We're the sum total of everything that we've ever experienced from the day that we were born to this very moment. And who we are today stems from the culture we're in, the religion you were in, whoever raised you, the movies you watched, the trauma you went through. And we have to get to a point where we decide, wait a minute, I am going to not or I'm going to allow this experience to program me. And most people are not consciously aware of that. And so what happens is when we have negative trauma, subconsciously it programs us. You know, like somebody has a car accident. You know, I knew one guy, he walked around town because unfortunately his wife died in a car. So now he never goes in a car. You know, my uncle was killed in a plane crash. I'm an avid aviation plan. I fly helicopters and jets and you name it. Even though my uncle got killed in a plane crash, my mom. The moment he died in a plane crash, my mom. And this was not cool for me, but anyway, I understand where she's at. So I go to my flight school to take my next lesson. And my flight instructor says, you can't take a lesson. What do you mean I can't take a lesson? Your mom called and said you're done. Yeah, because my mom bought into the belief because her brother just died in a plane crash, my uncle, that I shouldn't be flying either.
- [14:33]
Justin
Yeah.
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Gary Cox
If that was the case, we may as well just all live in a cave and do Nothing. So it's a mindset.
- [14:38]
Justin
It is. You know, and there's so many people out there that have the victim or broke mindset.
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Gary Cox
Right.
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Justin
How did. Let's talk about the person who's married to that person. The person whose best friend is that person. The person whose brother or mother is that person. Yeah, let's talk to that person.
- [14:55]
Gary Cox
Yeah.
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Justin
How could you help them besides sharing this podcast? Share the podcast now. Here he comes.
- [15:03]
Gary Cox
Do it now.
- [15:04]
Justin
Let me do that again. Share this podcast. Gary Cox.
- [15:07]
Gary Cox
Do it now.
- [15:09]
Justin
How do we help that person dealing with the mom, dealing with the husband, the wife, the brother, the sister that has that like inherent, ingrained. You will die if you go one more time. Yes.
- [15:21]
Gary Cox
Never forget this who rhetorical question till I answer it. Who influences you the most? The person that influences you the most is you. Which means if you're around a lot of negativity and for whatever reason you can't get out, you know you're going to just get a divorce because your husband's negative right now, whatever this. So if you understand that you influence you the most, that means that whatever your recordings are, that you're repeating over and over, that's influencing you more than anything. So then what we have to do is we've got to figure out how do we go ahead and change some of that influence if we need to? By what? By listening to this podcast? By reading books? When I was in the cult, we were only supposed to read their crap. Well, I read now I'm up usually typically at 4 o'clock in the morning. And I do that because I lost so much of my life and I do two to four books a month because I want to make up for it. But it influences my thinking. Just coming here and hanging with you, it just influences my thinking. So you have to make a choice. If you're around a lot of negativity where can you either shorten it a little bit more and then also replace it with being around people like you or, you know, programs like this? It's so, so important. And that changes your influen because you are the one that influenced you the most.
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Justin
Well, speaking about reading and listening to books, you have a couple of your own.
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Gary Cox
I do, I do. One is how to make your thoughts disappear. And what I loved about this book is when I left the cult, I to go to sleep because I lost everything. I mean, it's like me taking you out of your environment, saying all your friends are gone for the rest of your life, your belief system, you don't even know what the frigate is. It's totally screwed up. So to go to sleep, I needed two glasses of wine and five Benadryl. And I said, I can't keep living like this. So I got to the point I figured out, okay, why do you stay up at night? You stay up at night because it's your mind. It's either excited or it's depressed or something like that. But if you could figure out how to make your thoughts disappear, then there's no reason for you to stay awake. So I go to bed like a snoring baby. I do no drugs. My liquid of choice is water. And that's it. I get high off my own supply. So that's what I talk about on this. This one is basically for people in sales. You can't fillet a nibble. It's the catch that counts. So I had a guy that used to work for me. He would always tell me about, oh, yeah, we got this person interested. This person wants to bring you in. And that's all. I heard you. You just. I don't want to hear about the nibbles. Catch the fish, bring it into the boat. So you can't fillet a nibble. It does nothing to you. So what I do in this book is I show you psychologically how you keep yourself from being massively, massively persistent. And if you look at my ears, you'll notice that one ear, that's my left ear. Honestly, as you see it, it's closer to my head than my right ear, right?
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Justin
And I don't see it, but it is close.
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Gary Cox
It is this one. The reason being is years ago, when we had telephones, I would be on the phone making so many freaking phone calls that it pushed my ear closer to my head. That is how persistent I am. I want to. In fact, on a lot of these radio shows, they used to do a lot of TV and radio, the guy used to call it Gary coxing me. You're Gary coxing me again because I'm calling so much. But the reason we're not persistent is what happens is if I call you once, right? And you don't respond, and I go, okay, that's okay. Let me. Let me do it one more time. And you still don't respond. All of a sudden, what do I start doing? I start creating a story. The story goes, oh, he must not be interested. So, well, if he's not interested, why would I keep calling? So I buy that story. So what I've learned to do is I might have the same story or a story, but I've learned to ignore it. And that's what you have to learn to do. The reason we have a hard time being successful is we're unfortunately a slave to our feelings. And you have to learn to ignore your feelings. You have to learn to lead your feelings and not be a slave to them. The problem is we've been programmed to be a slave to our feelings. How did you become a slave to your feelings? Well, the moment you're born, we were told, what's the first thing you do? You cry.
- [19:07]
Justin
That's right.
- [19:08]
Gary Cox
Right. You're hungry. What do you do? You cry. You want to go to the bathroom, you cry. Whatever. And how long do we do this for? Weeks and weeks and months and months and years. And what happens is, we've also been told that the most impressionable part of our lives is usually the first, what, five years? So that means we spend nearly half or more than half the most impressionable part of our lives being a slave to our feelings. So if you don't have anything to learn to circumnavigate being a slave to your feelings, you will be prone to be a slave to your feelings. So what I encourage people to do and what I do in my own life is I make sure that whatever I have to accomplish in a day, let's say I have a list of 17 things. I make sure, no matter what happens to me, I accomplish those 17 things by being a leader of my feelings and not being a slave to them. And your game changes when you learn to magnify the course that you need to go on and minimize the noise that happens with your emotional feelings.
- [20:01]
Justin
There's so much to unpack. I mean, this is so great already. By the way, make sure you're following my guy Gary on all platforms.
- [20:07]
Gary Cox
Thank you.
- [20:08]
Justin
Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube, all of them go to his website, Garycox.com and all my social media.
- [20:16]
Gary Cox
Coxe, Gary Cox. Coxe.
- [20:19]
Justin
Because this is already so good. So the feelings part, yes, I say it in a different way, but maybe he's saying the same thing. Yep. The sales guy who calls twice, tells himself story. They buy into their story because their feelings.
- [20:31]
Gary Cox
Yep, yep. Well thought first, then the feeling that's right.
- [20:34]
Justin
Now, to me, that feeling is fear of rejection. They don't like me. They don't want what I have. I don't want to be annoying. I don't want to be that guy, that girl. I don't want to be. So they buy into this. I don't want to call 16 times because now I'm the annoying person. And that's why they don't keep going.
- [20:55]
Gary Cox
Which is a belief, though. That's the belief.
- [20:57]
Justin
That is the belief.
- [20:58]
Gary Cox
So I, and I've done this so much, literally, I've had people, because I've made so many phone calls to be here in front of you, if you will, through the decades I've been doing this.
- [21:08]
Justin
Right.
- [21:09]
Gary Cox
Okay. So the. I've had this happen so much that I've had people say, oh my gosh, I'm glad you followed up. My phone fell in the toilet. I had another person say, I'm glad you followed up. After months and months of doing this. I'm glad you followed up because my phone fell out of a three story window. Absolutely. So anytime I feel like I shouldn't do that thing, you know, hey, maybe their phone fell in the toilet. But the thing is, but here's the problem with the validation. Remember I told you your brain will validate all of your beliefs when they're right or wrong. Now here's what happens. If you go in to try to let me call Justin again and I say to myself, boy, if I do, he's going to get pissed off. Let's say I do call you and you do get pissed off if I'm not careful, I'll see, I'll say, see, I was right. I thought he would be pissed off. Now you validated that. So the next time you try to call somebody and you go through two or three times and they don't respond, you remember what Justin did. He got pissed off at me. I can't do anymore. And that's how you program yourself negatively.
- [22:00]
Justin
So one of the things. And I'll just speak to the sales side because I've been in sales as you have. Right.
- [22:04]
Gary Cox
Yeah. Entrepreneurs.
- [22:05]
Justin
One of the things that I believe is a key to overcoming some of the stories and beliefs. Yeah. Is sell something that you believe.
- [22:15]
Gary Cox
Yep.
- [22:15]
Justin
Is so valuable, you are doing a disservice if you don't follow up with a human.
- [22:20]
Gary Cox
Yeah.
- [22:20]
Justin
Right. So if I believe Gary needs air.
- [22:23]
Gary Cox
Right.
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Justin
And I'm selling air, you're going to.
- [22:26]
Gary Cox
Do whatever it takes to get it to me.
- [22:27]
Justin
That's right. I don't care how many times I have to call, because if Gary doesn't get air, he dies. Now that is an extreme example. I get that, but it makes sense. But if you like, I sell coaching.
- [22:36]
Gary Cox
Right.
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Justin
I am the best in the business to sell coaching because I've been doing it for 17 years. I know what currently works. Yesterday, about six properties. Friday we bought 11. Like is what I do.
- [22:47]
Gary Cox
Right.
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Justin
Works. So me. And I don't do my sales anymore. But the point being is I'm in such belief of the value I provide, I will call someone to infinite.
- [22:57]
Gary Cox
Sure.
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Justin
Because I know the value I can.
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Gary Cox
Give that person additional to the results that, you know, you get them.
- [23:04]
Justin
Right.
- [23:04]
Gary Cox
So what happens is when a person, let's say, is new in business and they haven't done enough of these things that you and I have done, they can't associate the result. They can't associate the selling of the property. They can't associate selling a $50,000 package. But the moment it goes and happens, light goes on. So now they connect rejection with results. No longer rejection, more results.
- [23:30]
Justin
That's right.
- [23:30]
Gary Cox
Before, you know, you knock out of your system. That's why you have to play the game consistently, because it's just like flying. As pilots, we're required by law to do certain requirements every certain months or every year or whatnot. And the reason being is, is if you don't do it regularly, you will start to forget and lose some of your confidence. So if you do this consistently, you maintain your confidence. If I don't sell for six months and I get going into a program, I'm readjusting my thinking, I'm calibrating my thinking because I'm not used to being in this, you know, beast mode. So it's. It's a mindset consistently. But I know I have it in the past to call back on. And that's why in aviation, we have to legally recalibrate even our instruments. Because sometimes your beliefs may be wrong, you have to learn to recalibrate them.
- [24:14]
Justin
So let's talk to the newbie.
- [24:15]
Gary Cox
Yeah. Okay.
- [24:16]
Justin
You and I have these experiences that you can recalibrate based around.
- [24:19]
Gary Cox
Right. Experience bad.
- [24:20]
Justin
Someone's just getting into whatever it is. Right. Whether maybe it's real estate. Let's just use that as an easy example. And they're calling. It's not happening. My new sales guy, man. I'm making the calls. You're. Every meeting we. Every morning we meet, you're telling me I have this quota.
- [24:34]
Gary Cox
I'm making the calls.
- [24:35]
Justin
I'm doing the thing.
- [24:36]
Gary Cox
Yeah.
- [24:36]
Justin
We meet at night. I don't have the results. I'm, you know, you're listening to my. Like, how do you program that person to keep the belief in the fortitude, in the determination, in the grit to go maybe six months.
- [24:48]
Gary Cox
Yeah.
- [24:48]
Justin
To find the result that is a.
- [24:50]
Gary Cox
Tough question to answer. And I'll tell you why. Because, you know, it's like if you ask somebody, if somebody says to be Gary, how do you fly an airplane? I tell people after, you know, there's a short answer and there's a long answer. The shorter answer is push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. Pull the stick back, the houses get smaller.
- [25:08]
Justin
Yeah.
- [25:09]
Gary Cox
So with that being said, that question, 10 people could ask me that same exact question. I may have 10 different answers based on the core value and belief system of that person. So if I were to coach that person, I would say to them, let's figure out where that's really coming from. Why do you not believe? You don't believe because you haven't got results. That's not the real reason you don't believe. The real reason you don't believe is because mama said divorce said something like that. Then if I can re this episode brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Shifting a little money here, a little there, hoping it all works out well, with the name your price tool from Progressive, you can get a better budgeter and potentially lower your insurance bill too. You tell Progressive what you want to pay for car insurance and they'll help find you options within your budget. Try it today@progressive.com progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states.
- [26:17]
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- [26:48]
Gary Cox
Structure some of that. Then I think we'll get better and greater results.
- [26:52]
Justin
I love that. One of the things that I try to help do to anyone in, in my world is show results before they get them.
- [27:01]
Gary Cox
Yeah.
- [27:01]
Justin
Whether it's my own team, whether it's your result. And I could say, hey, Fred.
- [27:05]
Gary Cox
Yeah.
- [27:06]
Justin
Look at the six people that have results.
- [27:08]
Gary Cox
Right.
- [27:09]
Justin
You know, now that this isn't made up, you know that it is possible. So I try to refresh their confidence there.
- [27:15]
Gary Cox
And also what's their track record like? If they've been in sales before, they've got something to lean on. If they've never been on sales before, they're going to be at. And I would tell them in advance, I say, okay, so what's your track record? I've never been in sales before. That person's going to have a harder time because it's going to take them longer to connect. They're going to have more time to have the negative crap in their head. That's why I would encourage them to hustle really fast, really quick, and as much as you possibly can, because it's a numbers game. So sooner or later, you're going to get that positive connect. The longer you wait to follow through, the longer you take to get that connect. And then once you get that connect, if you celebrate too long and not do the next connect, you'll forget that connect. Yes, it's a mind game. And it. And ultimately I want to show people how to play games with their mind instead of their mind playing games with them.
- [27:59]
Justin
And that's the key, is if you can help people unwind their mind or open their mind, free their mind. Because you and I both know this business is a mind game. It is not necessarily about the X's and O's of 100. You need your X's and O's, but is 95, 96% mental.
- [28:17]
Gary Cox
Yeah.
- [28:17]
Justin
And if you can help people unlock the ability to have fortitude, to have relentlessness, to have the ability to fail fast and keep going regardless, that is really the power. And that's really what you're in Expert. Right. Is to help.
- [28:31]
Gary Cox
And a lot of people say, what? What's the difference between what I do and maybe other people? I execute quickly, which means I'll fail faster and learn from it quicker than the average person. So I'm. I'm up to bat a lot. So just like the Babe Ruth story, right? He's up to bat so much. He's got a lot of strikes, but he's got a lot of home runs.
- [28:49]
Justin
That's right.
- [28:50]
Gary Cox
If you're willing to go up to bat. So I have a program where I help entrepreneurs, especially those who want to be like, you know, coaches or who are already coaches. I help them move faster, meaning do a year's worth of income in one event or one day. And I think, because we think so small sometimes, like, I was very blessed to have a billionaire mentor. And when you hang around a billionaire and see how they live, you realize that, oh, crap, what I do is nothing. So if you can get around people like that to expand yourself, it's a game changer. Now, on the contrary, I have zero desire to be a billionaire because I don't personally want to pay the price because I have some very good friends that are billionaires. I'm just, I know so much. I don't, I'm not, I'm not game for it. But that doesn't mean that you can't take whatever knowledge that you learn from and figure out what level do you want to take it to. I'll either wrap up with one other thing, if you don't mind. And this is regards to. This is a very unusual thought process for some. A lot of times we think when we, when we hire somebody that we need to, we need to work with somebody who's done more than we have and so forth. It'd be similar to, I see, you know, you probably work out more than I do, but let's say you never worked out before and you go to a gym and you're really serious about it. And as a guy, you'd be, you'd be drawn to the guy with the biggest muscles, right? So you're going to go up to that person and say, so how do you, how do you get your muscles this big? What's the exercise that you do? And he says, well, you do this and at the top you hold it here and so forth. And then you go, okay, you're all excited. But what he did not tell you, the reason he's so big is because he's on illegal steroids. So here's the point. The point here is just because somebody makes more than you, their values may be different. You know, I'm a single guy. I don't have kids. I can put in way more hours than the person. Hopefully that's not putting in the hours. That's married with a bunch of kids and is really committed to their relationship and their family. So you know Phil Jackson, right? The coach for Michael Jordan. His average points per game as a player was only seven points a game. Yet he was the coach for Mike, for Michael Jordan, who did 38 to 50. So the key is you got to use common sense. And here's a reason psychologically why sometimes we, as very intelligent people, myself included, if you're not careful, don't use common sense. The reason is if you're not careful in your mind, you will place a higher status on somebody than they deserve. So, you know, you find somebody who's maybe wealthy or somebody like myself who has books or is on tv. If you're not careful, you will place a higher status and then you will listen to everything they say and Then you'll be a sheep to the slaughter. And a great example of that. A couple hundreds of years ago, just about everybody on this planet used to believe that the Earth was flat.
- [31:29]
Justin
Right.
- [31:29]
Gary Cox
Cult leader Jim Jones took 1,000 people to their death. So I just encourage people, use common sense. So if you're going to get somebody involved into your life, into your business, are their belief systems matching yours? Now, my belief system may not match yours. So am I. Find out. Let's say if I were to coach you, I would find out what your belief system is irrelevant to some degree. To some degree what mine is. Because I need to make sure I base my teaching on what you want and your values and beliefs. Now, I may need to adjust them for you to attain the goal that you want. And you'd have to give me your blessing to do that. But outside of that, I'm going to figure out what are your values and beliefs. That's the first thing I ask. So what are your goals? I want to know what your family's like. What do you want to do? Then we base the business based on what it is that you want in your life and what fulfills you the most. That's the difference.
- [32:18]
Justin
Any good coach always meets their student or whoever at where they're at and understands where they want to be. And that's all you're saying, is regardless of your belief, you need to understand your client's belief so you can be in alignment with that.
- [32:35]
Gary Cox
Yes.
- [32:35]
Justin
So that you can help them actually.
- [32:37]
Gary Cox
And value what's in. What's important to them. Yeah.
- [32:39]
Justin
Your analogy is perfect. Right. When I was single, my value of life was totally different. 100% my own personal life, but like.
- [32:46]
Gary Cox
And you have a child three days a week.
- [32:48]
Justin
When I was single, I wasn't in alignment with being a parent or being a husband. I made a lot of money. It was great. I blew it all. It was great. I didn't care. I had no. My values were different. Now I have two children, I am happily married. I have different value sets. And you will see the difference in what I do and how I perform. Right. Because of that. Right.
- [33:10]
Gary Cox
Garth Brooks, you know, when his wife was pregnant, he said he's excited. He can't wait to take his wife and his new baby on tour all over. The moment he saw that baby come out of his wife's womb. Not during tour. Canceled.
- [33:22]
Justin
Done, Done.
- [33:22]
Gary Cox
Change. Value system can change that quick.
- [33:24]
Justin
It's amazing.
- [33:25]
Gary Cox
That's like, say, I got a glass of water here. And I say, here's A glass of water. Let's say you have $1,000 in your pocket. Would you give $1,000 for a glass of water? Probably not. But if I said to you, same glass of water, same thousand dollars in your pocket, now your head's on fire, you'd probably consider, well, you don't have as much here as I do, you.
- [33:40]
Justin
Know what I mean?
- [33:40]
Gary Cox
But so the value, your values and system can change. One guy, he wanted to quit smoking cigarettes, a friend of mine. And he had a hard time until one day he walks down the hallway of his house, looks over to his three year old daughter's bedroom and she's pretending to smoke a Crayola crayon.
- [33:54]
Justin
Boom.
- [33:54]
Gary Cox
So don't cheat yourself in thinking no matter what level of motivation you're at, habit, behavior, addiction, that there isn't something out there that can change it that quickly. There is something out there. If you need to make a change that you've been fighting on, there's something out there that can change it that quick. You've just got to figure out where it is and what it is.
- [34:11]
Justin
So you are an expert at helping coaches, leaders grow their business, help others, refine, talk about what you're really focusing on right now.
- [34:21]
Gary Cox
For me, personally, myself, well, you know, I laugh and hesitate because I'm so leaving the cult. Right. I have different goals and values right now. I'm obsessed with learning and growing because I lost so much of my life. And when, when people hear I wake up at 4 or 4:30 every morning and don't think that you have to wake up early to be successful. My billionaire mentor, he didn't get started to like 10 or 11. Sometimes it's not when you wake up, it's how much time you put in.
- [34:53]
Justin
That's right.
- [34:53]
Gary Cox
That's the bottom line. And so for me, I just want to live more, enjoy my life more and help people. I'm obsessed with helping people. I have a coaching program that I take people in my jet to the Bahamas. I'm sponsored by Sandals Resorts and we give them an incredible environment. We let them see what it's like to fly in a jet if they don't do it on a regular basis so they can see a different world. And that's my excitement. You know, I love aviation. I love to help people and I just want to do more of this.
- [35:19]
Justin
So you have some pretty cool locations such as Sandals and beaches?
- [35:23]
Gary Cox
Oh yeah, yeah. I'm all into the exotic islands and private flying and everything. Like I've been flying for like 30 years. So it's my passion. I love it, love it, love it.
- [35:31]
Justin
That is incredible. Well, I really appreciate you coming.
- [35:33]
Gary Cox
No, thank you.
- [35:34]
Justin
I want to make sure everyone knows exactly where to find you. So Gary Cox with an easy all over Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube, everywhere you go, you can hear this guy thinks different, he believes different. His value sets are different. This is the man and I really appreciate you.
- [35:52]
Gary Cox
Thank you. And I have a one week program. We do it regularly. It's coming around the corner. It's just a couple hours a day where I show people these strategies to really grow quicker and faster. So if they go on my website or they can go to profit, increase profits for coaches. You don't have to be a coach, but increase profits for coaches or my website, garycox.com you'll see where you can join and hang. It's. It's like it's 300 bucks to spend two hours a day with me.
- [36:15]
Justin
That's amazing. That's a, that's amazing value.
- [36:18]
Gary Cox
It's, it's huge value.
- [36:19]
Justin
Gary Cox, right now. Dot com. There's a drop down so you can go spend a couple hours a day with Gary. Brother, I appreciate you. I know we're gonna do a lot here.
- [36:28]
Gary Cox
Oh, I'm looking forward to it.
- [36:29]
Justin
I appreciate it. Great. And if you learned at least one thing from our guy Gary, make sure you share it with at least two people. I'll see you on the next episode.
- [36:38]
Gary Cox
Peace out.
- [36:39]
Justin
Peace.
- [36:45]
Bombas Ad Voice
Is it time to reimagine your future? The right business skills may make a difference in your career. At Capella University, we offer a relevant education that's designed to focus on what you need to know in the business world. We'll teach professional skills to help you pursue your goals like business management, strategic planning and effective communication. And you can apply these skills right away. A different future is closer than you think with Capella University. Learn more at capella. Edu.