Marriage, Money & Masculinity – Why You’re Losing at All Three | Garrett J. White | EP 58

Summary

Episode Summary: "Marriage, Money & Masculinity – Why You’re Losing at All Three" | Garrett J. White | EP 58

Podcast: The Entrepreneur DNA
Host: Justin Colby, Bleav
Guest: Garrett J. White
Release Date: February 10, 2025

In Episode 58 of The Entrepreneur DNA, host Justin Colby delves deep into the intertwined challenges of marriage, money, and masculinity with guest Garrett J. White. This candid conversation explores the pitfalls entrepreneurs often face in personal and professional spheres, shedding light on the importance of truth, integrity, and self-leadership.

---

1. Garrett’s Entrepreneurial Journey and Early Success ([04:00] - [07:00])

Garrett J. White begins by sharing his transition from a Physical Education teacher to an entrepreneur inspired by reading Rich Dad, Poor Dad. This pivotal moment led him into the realms of mortgages, real estate, and life insurance.

Garrett J. White ([04:25]): “I read Rich Dad, Poor Dad. Like millions and millions of people. So grateful that Robert Kiyosaki marketed the shit out of that and sold that book.”

He discusses the rapid growth and eventual downfall of his business endeavors during the 2008 financial crisis, highlighting the lack of foundational financial skills as a critical mistake.

Garrett J. White ([03:14]): “First off, the decision to be an entrepreneur is insanity.”

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2. Personal Struggles and the Guilt-Shame Loop ([11:00] - [13:00])

Garrett opens up about the personal toll of his business failures, including strained marital relationships and the descent into addiction. He describes a detrimental cycle of guilt and shame that led to self-abuse and a loss of self-worth.

Garrett J. White ([01:01]): “So if I don't come back and the way I get stuck and mingus stuck is we get stuck in a guilt and shame loop.”

Garrett emphasizes the importance of confronting these negative emotions rather than burying them with lies and superficial smiles.

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3. The Power of Truth and Integrity ([13:00] - [25:00])

A turning point in Garrett’s story occurs during an intense period of self-reflection through running ultra-marathons. Here, he begins to hear an internal voice guiding him away from his Mormon roots, leading to a profound personal transformation.

Garrett J. White ([25:13]): “So I just started speaking truth. This is what year this is 2009. And that was the founding principle of Warrior was truth.”

Garrett underscores how embracing truth over maintaining a facade can rebuild one's life and business from the ground up. This philosophy becomes the cornerstone of his new venture, Warrior, founded on authenticity and integrity.

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4. Marriage, Sex, and Communication Dynamics ([35:00] - [50:00])

The conversation shifts to the complexities of marital relationships, particularly focusing on communication and sexual intimacy. Garrett argues that many marital issues stem from a lack of genuine communication and the inability to be present with one’s partner.

Garrett J. White ([36:15]): “Most marriages were built on lies. Half of my truth was shared. We built a relationship with the part I had the courage to share.”

He delves into the struggles men face in maintaining intimacy and the societal pressures that exacerbate these issues. Garrett criticizes both traditional and modern relationship models, advocating for a dual commitment to truth and mutual support.

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5. The Intersection of Money, Masculinity, and Personal Identity ([50:00] - [58:00])

Garrett explores how financial struggles and entrepreneurial failures impact one’s sense of masculinity and personal identity. He discusses the pervasive issue of men feeling inadequate when they cannot meet societal expectations of success.

Garrett J. White ([33:02]): “All men are liars. And they have been taught, trained and educated from the time we were born to lie.”

Garrett connects this to broader themes of leadership, both in business and in personal relationships, emphasizing the necessity of self-leadership and authenticity to overcome these ingrained challenges.

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6. Actionable Insights and Closing Thoughts ([58:00] - [58:31])

In the closing moments, Justin and Garrett reinforce the episode’s key messages: the importance of living truthfully, embracing personal responsibility, and fostering genuine connections both in business and marriage. They encourage listeners to implement these principles to achieve lasting success and fulfillment.

Justin Colby ([55:07]): “I have five laws of success, and I think you've heard them. But the first law that I believe is that decide what you want and decide who you need to be to get it.”

Garrett emphasizes that transformation begins with self-awareness and the courage to confront uncomfortable truths, paving the way for meaningful change.

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Notable Quotes

• Garrett J. White ([01:01]): “So if I don't come back and the way I get stuck and mingus stuck is we get stuck in a guilt and shame loop.”
• Garrett J. White ([04:25]): “I read Rich Dad, Poor Dad. Like millions and millions of people. So grateful that Robert Kiyosaki marketed the shit out of that and sold that book.”
• Garrett J. White ([25:13]): “So I just started speaking truth. This is what year this is 2009. And that was the founding principle of Warrior was truth.”
• Garrett J. White ([33:02]): “All men are liars. And they have been taught, trained and educated from the time we were born to lie.”
• Justin Colby ([55:07]): “I have five laws of success, and I think you've heard them. But the first law that I believe is that decide what you want and decide who you need to be to get it.”

---

Conclusion

Episode 58 of The Entrepreneur DNA offers a raw and honest exploration of the personal and professional struggles that intertwine within the lives of entrepreneurs. Through Garrett J. White’s journey from failure to self-discovery, listeners gain invaluable insights into the importance of truth, integrity, and authentic leadership in building not only successful businesses but also fulfilling personal lives.

For more transformative conversations, visit WakeupWarrior.com and follow Garrett J. White on social media.

Transcript

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[Garrett J. White]

So if I don't come back and the way I get stuck and mingus stuck is we get stuck in a guilt and shame loop. We get stuck in this place of so much self abuse on ourselves. Of I'm a piece of shit. If I'm in the Christian world, I'm a sinner, I'm worthless. I'm a piece of shit. Guilt, shame. Down to the pit we go. Then we cover the pit with lies and we pretend like it's not happening. We stuff it down. We put on the happy clappy smile. We go about base thinking something's going to change. Yeah, nothing changes. Justice programs work. How do you know Justin? Justin works. How do you know students in his programs get results. Do all of them know? Not because the program doesn't work. Because you don't work.

[Justin]

That's right.

[Garrett J. White]

The same reason why Mary, my wife and I've been together for 23 years. We've almost been divorced 10 times.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Garrett J. White]

People are like, how you guys do it? I was like, we have to keep dying. Let the past go. Rebuild something new.

[Justin]

What is up? Entrepreneur DNA Family this episode is for everyone. Even though you might not like what you hear, if you are not watching this, you need to watch this. If you do not know my guest, you need to know my guest. If you're not achieving what you want to achieve in life on all levels, this is the man you need to follow and be a part of his world. Garrett J. White is in the house, bro.

[Garrett J. White]

Welcome, all of you. I don't know who you are, but welcome for a treat. I promise you, whatever you think this show has been in the past, it'll probably be very different than what you think it's going to be.

[Justin]

There's no doubt.

[Garrett J. White]

That tends to be how these shows.

[Justin]

Go, and that's the best part. Yeah, we just let it fly.

[Garrett J. White]

We just let it fly.

[Justin]

Everyone here is an entrepreneur, an aspiring entrepreneur.

[Garrett J. White]

Yeah.

[Justin]

Big success, little success, just getting started. You have done something very special in the space of entrepreneurship, and I think it needs to be noted. And I want to just start with what you've been able to create over your. What are we doing, 13 years now?

[Garrett J. White]

13 years.

[Justin]

Wake up, warrior.

[Garrett J. White]

Yep.

[Justin]

You've kind of led the pack in what I would say for all of us who are mentors, coaches, leaders in this space. But it's because you had to find a way to lead yourself first, right?

[Garrett J. White]

Yep.

[Justin]

So if you can't find a way to lead yourself, how the hell are you going to achieve? And you're the embodiment of being able to lead yourself first, to be able to go create more.

[Garrett J. White]

Well, you. If you look at the. First off, the decision to be an entrepreneur is insanity.

[Justin]

No, I agree.

[Garrett J. White]

Right. And there's a. There's a lot, particularly now, that's like, really pushed. It went back when we started. It wasn't. I mean, it was pushed, but not like it's pushed right now. Now it's like a. It's a stamp of honor to be an entrepreneur. And there's a lot of people want to be entrepreneurs. And now with online ability and all the different avenues to be able to make money without having to have overhead and offices and assistance and payroll, you can contract and va this and va that, and you could have people working for you in Tibet and other work for. In India. And it's like $2 an hour. And it's like all those things are different. Like, when we. When I started 23 years ago, I read Rich Dad, Poor Dad. That, of course, took me from being a PE teacher to. I think I. I can be rich. Like, I never even had the thought I want.

[Justin]

You're by far the highest paid PE teacher of all time.

[Garrett J. White]

I am the highest paid PE teacher in the world. Right.

[Justin]

There's no doubt.

[Garrett J. White]

Nope. There's not one person has come out of pedagogy. That's the official name they give it. They like to call it's like. It's like on your garbage man. A sanitation engineer. Like, now he's a garbage man, and I'm a PE teacher. Jack Black and School Rock says that if you can't do, you teach. And if you can't teach, you teach P.E.

[Justin]

There you go.

[Garrett J. White]

So there I was as a P.E. teacher. Read Rich dad, Poor Dad. Like millions and millions of people.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Garrett J. White]

So grateful that Robert Kiyosaki marketed the shit out of that and sold that book.

[Justin]

No doubt.

[Garrett J. White]

And so that was like the beginning stage. And I thought, wow, I could. I could be rich. And that led me into mortgages, and that led me into real estate and led me to real estate mortgages and life insurance. These became the trifecta, what we did from 2000 to 2008. Then eight happens. We are young. I'm the oldest dude on my team. I'm like 32. All my guys are in their 20s. We weren't entrepreneurs. No, we were wholesale hitmen.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Garrett J. White]

Yeah, that's it. We were wholesale hitmen. In the life insurance contract space, the real estate contract space, and the mortgage contract space. We just passed deals. We found people passed deals to big companies. Listen to the big companies who at the time were telling us to do all kinds of illegal shit.

[Justin]

Sick.

[Garrett J. White]

We had a department in our mortgage office. That was the fixer part of the shop. Our banks would send things back to us from underwriting. Our underwriters would send back for. We were. We were just a brokerage who worked with correspondent banks who worked with the primary banks. And the money just flowed down. We didn't know shit about shit about shit. We had all the older dudes who were like, in their 40s and 50s, and then the underwriters telling us what to do. We didn't give a shit. We were like, okay, it's your money. We don't care. So, like, they would send back 10. It would send back 10. 03 send back contracts, say, hey, we need it to say this. And we're like, what? In our minds were like, yeah, but this is what the numbers are. And they're like, we need it to say this. This happens. Like, this happens over and over again for like two weeks with us. And my teams are looking at, what the fuck are these guys talking about? And then one of the guys, my team's like, bro, this is like, nina, loans, no income, no asset, Sissy loans, like option arms, interest only rape equity, buy another property. Everybody getting homes shouldn't get homes. And we're like, okay, sure. So we started forging documents. We didn't call it forging because we didn't know the banks are like, do this. And we're like, okay. And then we'd send it back and we get approved. Person get the home bank, you get the loan, we get paid. Homeowner's happy, everybody's happy. We don't know any different. We're like, fine. Where our challenge came is when people started raising money. So then dudes around and started raising capital. Because you could rape equity from property so quickly.

[Justin]

Oh, yeah.

[Garrett J. White]

Everybody was a fun guy now. And now people are starting to put money together and they're giving out returns on investment. Like 2, 3% a month.

[Justin]

Quick.

[Garrett J. White]

Cool. A month. But again, we're stupid. We read rich, dad poured out, and I was a PE teacher. Most of us guys worked at, like, Denny's. And now we're just hired hitman. We're like, okay. So all these dudes we knew. Garrett Gunderson and I, who ran Freedom Fast Track, wrote Killing Sacred Cows, were strategic partners.

[Justin]

No kidding.

[Garrett J. White]

Garrett and I ran hot together. So there was Investors Paradigm, my company, and Ingenuity would name his company and we both would collab on stuff. But Garrett and I both had this intuitive kind of knowing of shit's kind of weird.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Garrett J. White]

So he wouldn't raise money. And I was like, not raising money, but everyone around us was raising money, including big name dudes were 15, 20 years older than us who were like, our mentors were raising capital. And they were just rolling the money. Rolling money. But again, I was. I didn't know math. I had a calculator when I started mortgages. It was fucking backwards, you know, talking about Justin, you know that dumb calculator?

[Justin]

I do.

[Garrett J. White]

I'm like, trying to fucking punch the numbers in backwards. I can't even do forwards math. Timber. Listen, you young entrepreneurs, you have no fucking clue. Dude. Dude.

[Justin]

None.

[Garrett J. White]

None. Like, my career started with a stack of papers with names and phone numbers that had VA home loans. And I walked in the office and said, call those people. Yeah, okay. And then what am I supposed to tell them? That we can get them a lower rate? At the time, rates were like nine and a half. We were refinancing down to like, nine.

[Justin]

Oh, God.

[Garrett J. White]

People, like, rates are so high. I was like, bro, I remember telling a lady on the phone, she said, I'm going to wait until rates get down to 8%. And I go, ma'am, it will be a cold day in hell before rates get to 8%. So all you guys whining about 4 and 5 and 6%. You don't have a clue. Now I sound like an old dude. Because they're old dudes saying that to us back then when rates were 14%. So all of that game in mortgages and banking, we blew up and we made a bunch of money and then we got smashed.

[Justin]

So did we. All right? I mean, at the end of the day, you and I were in the same space. You were doing loans, I was just doing retail. Smashed. Lost it all. Really lost it all.

[Garrett J. White]

Whole generation. And there's a whole generation of dudes from that day that still talk about back when I was crushing it, I was like, dude, you realize that's almost 20 years ago. We got to stop talking about that. Like, if you're still being crushed from what happened almost 20 years ago, you weren't ever a player.

[Justin]

Let's talk about that. I mean, we could take this so many way. Like the fact that people are holding on to 20 years ago losses is why they're stuck making 150 grand a year still.

[Garrett J. White]

Yep.

[Justin]

Because they can't let go of that.

[Garrett J. White]

Can'T let go of the past.

[Justin]

There's. There's a quote. I'll butcher the quote for sure, but it's like. It's about guilt. And holding on to guilt or hatred is a tax you'll pay forever without. If you can't forgive yourself, if you can't forgive the person, if you can't get over that thing, it'll be a tax you'll pay forever and you won't be able to get along further. There's a way better quote about it, but essentially you'll never be able to really achieve what you want to achieve financially within marriage. Whatever. The thing is, if you are holding on to that guilt, the hatred, the hurt, the whatever, because it's a tax you'll forever pay, you can't. You can't get in another relationship ready for that relationship if you're holding on to the hurt, the hatred.

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[Justin]

Off devices early, the whatever.

[Garrett J. White]

Oh, dude. That's why people, if you take the marriage, you're like, okay, well, dudes will be like, well, I just need to get a new woman. So a lot of guys in painful relationships would be like, just like people look at the place they're out working or the place they're at in business or the industry they're in. There's this delusion that somehow I don't have marketing skills, sales skills and leadership skills and I'm in real estate. If I go do software, I'll be successful. No, you won't. If I go, do I just need to change industries? I'm in the wrong industry? No, you have no fucking skills. So even no matter what you do, you're still gonna suck because you don't have fundamental skills of marketing and persuasion, sales and persuasion leadership and moving people to do things. So it was like, you can't change it. Marriage is no different.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Garrett J. White]

And so if I fuck up in my marriage and I don't have skills as a man to be able to lead my wife and I don't have immovability in me as a human, my immovable, that lack of strength in me. I leave this woman, go find a new vagina. It's going to be okay for six months. Then the same shit's going to repeat. Just different woman, same problems. Because the problems in you change industry, same problems. You change coaches. Oh, Justin's an asshole. His program doesn't work. I'm going to go get one from Eric Spofford or I'm going to go hang out, whoever, and you just find out you're a loser the whole time and you get that newness feeling just like a new vagina or a new woman. You're like, oh, I got a new woman. It's going to be different. It's not. You're still the same asshole dragging them through the game.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Garrett J. White]

So if I don't come back. And the way I get stuck and Mingus stuck is we get stuck in a guilt and shame loop. We get stuck in this place of so much self abuse on ourselves. Of I'm a piece of shit. If I'm in the Christian world. I'm a sinner, I'm worthless. I'm a piece of shit. Guilt, shame, down to the pit we go. Then we cover the pit with lies and we pretend like it's not happening. We stuff it down. We put on the happy clappy smile. We go about bath thinking something's going to change.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Garrett J. White]

Nothing changes. Justice programs work. How do you know Justin? Justin works. How do you know students in his programs get results. Do all of them. No, not because the program doesn't work because you don't work.

[Justin]

That's right.

[Garrett J. White]

The same reason why Mary, my wife and I've been together for 23 years. We've almost been divorced 10 times.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Garrett J. White]

People are like, how you guys doing? I was like, we have to keep dying. Let the past go. Rebuild something new.

[Justin]

Stop right now. Rewind that.

[Garrett J. White]

Re.

[Justin]

Listen to that. Whatever you need to do that part right there. You could end the episode if you have to. That is gold that is written all over people's walls right now. You need to let the past die, let go and figure out what's going forward.

[Garrett J. White]

Well, think about this. If you look at you as. As a real estate investor now and you go back 10 years, just go back five years.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Garrett J. White]

Prior to covet.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Garrett J. White]

How different are you in the way you see the world now than what you were seeing five years ago?

[Justin]

Drastically. I mean, it's not even in comparison. That's a great example. Because the big life, worldly, you know, thing of COVID Right. But in a general sense, people don't give themselves enough Runway to be able to be able to have that perspective.

[Garrett J. White]

None. They don't look back.

[Justin]

They don't.

[Garrett J. White]

So the trap me dance solo was one first one. He actually wrote a book on this called Gap in a gain.

[Justin]

Great book.

[Garrett J. White]

My wife loves that book. I've like finally got her to read, which I'm proud of her. She started reading the last five years. She want to read before that. I fit the shades of grace. She read that.

[Justin]

Of course you did. In all of the shades.

[Garrett J. White]

Yeah. And the problem was you read fidget shades of gray. And then I figured that I was going to get a play out some of that fidget shades of gray and sex life was I was like, book's a lie. They needed a user manual to come along with that. Fortunately we created one at Warrior called Paid and lay protocol. So we help dudes figure out how to get fidget shades of gray back into the marriage.

[Justin]

Come on. Paid and laid.

[Garrett J. White]

Laid protocol.

[Justin]

Come on.

[Garrett J. White]

Yeah. So if you come back to this game of letting go though this is hard because our identity is in the things that we have done and in gap in the game. Dan Sullivan talks about this idea that and he had taught I was a strategic coach with him for 10 years. I started with him back when I was in mortgages back in like 2003. 2002. First time I attended his courses and he would teach that first concept and basics is a lot better now. It's refined but of course over time everything gets more refined. But we not only do we live in guilt and shame art, we're constantly looking forward to the possibility of what could be. And the more more success you have, the further out that horizon gets because you start to see more and more of your capabilities. And so the trap becomes I'm perpetually unhappy and dissatisfied because no matter what I do, it will never be enough. Compound that with Christian guilt. Christian shame. You're a sinner, you're worthless. God's angry at you Old testament style. And contain that with a sex relationship and it's not working out. And you're worse is if you're better look good looking people and everybody thinks you're having a passionate love affair but you're not. You're a war with each other at home and on Instagram you're like hey, love it. And then like three weeks later, oh, we really want all your prayers at this hard time in our season as me and so and so are no longer going to be together. Said about 15 of the top influencers in the last three years full of. So there's this piece of like how do I deal with truth?

[Justin]

Well, let's even go back to your. Your loss. Right. Everyone knows my story. You crush real estate.

[Garrett J. White]

Yeah.

[Justin]

Now it's 2008. How did you reframe it? Get over it, Reframe your life and continue. Because you are literally at the pinnacle in my opinion at the pinnacle of where I think all men want to be. Well, successful entrepreneurs want to be. It's not because you are the richest, by the way. It's not the money side of it. It's the revelations you've been able to have since 2008. Because I don't know the story before 2008. Yeah, but how did you take that that moment in the moments there on that, you could look back and say, okay, here's how I need to change. Here's what I did wrong in that fact. Here's what I needed to do better, or whatever the case. How do you do that?

[Garrett J. White]

So by. By the end of 2008, we. I mean, we. We lost everything. So I made every big mistake an entrepreneur can make. First, I didn't understand trends. I didn't understand markets. I didn't understand money. I knew how to hustle it and how to keep it, and I definitely know how to grow it so we could make money. But that was the only skill we had. If I can't keep money, then it doesn't matter how much money I make, I'm always going to fucking be broke. Because Bradle's Law, no matter what I make, I'm going to continue to spend what I'm making. I'm going to continually be fucked. I'll just be broke at a higher level. Different cars, different houses. Still, same stress. So we didn't have any of those skills. I didn't even think about saving money, didn't even think about growing money. It was just hustling get money. And we just figured we could always get it. So no matter what we did, even if we fucked up deals, we didn't care. We could go get another million dollars for a company in the next four weeks selling some shit.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Garrett J. White]

But then when rates turn and the banks cut off and everything shifts, like you're left in this place. And a whole generation, dudes like me, that was our first time making money.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Garrett J. White]

So when you've made money one way and you've only made it one way, you only see the world do that one way. You don't recognize that there's abundance in doing all kinds of shit. You can make money doing all. But when I was in the real estate, insurance, and banking world, that's all I know.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Garrett J. White]

I'm like, we're fucked. And. And there was no capacity in my mind to help me see, hey, I have all these skills. I could just go do something else.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Garrett J. White]

Instead, I did what everybody did. Drank, drugs and an affair. Because my wife at that time, I pushed all our personal money to try to save the business after taking all the company's money trying to save the business, and pushed all of our personal assets, sold everything liquidated, trying to save the business, only to end up at the bottom of the pit with all the debt on me. Partners, nobody had signed on anything. Everything was on me. The guys who had been raising money around me. I was one signature away from going to jail for 10 years. Had I signed that document, I'm fucking done. So I'm in this place where nothing makes sense. My wife hates me, deservedly. I have no money, I have no network, I have no nothing. And inside of all of this, I was raised in Mormonism. And I start to run. Running becomes my outlet. I'd done Marathons for three years, Ironman World Championships in 07, right before we lost everything in Kona. And I got into ultras. And so I would just run. That's all I had. And when I was running, I started to find this stillness. I listened book Conversations with God at the time by Neil Donald Walsh. I didn't have anything. I didn't have anything to give anybody. I couldn't see my value for anything. And my wife wouldn't talk to me, my family wouldn't talk to me. No one was talking to me. Everybody fucking left. All these people who I'd helped over the years, people who were stuck sending their kids to drug rehab, I was just giving money to people here, have some money, because I could always get more. And nobody came to help me. And I'm glad they didn't.

[Justin]

You wouldn't be here today?

[Garrett J. White]

I wouldn't be here.

[Justin]

That's right.

[Garrett J. White]

So in that place, running ultras in the middle of the mountains, I started to hear after about 8 to 9, 10 miles of running, it gets annoying to listen to music. You don't. Podcasts weren't really a thing thing then.

[Justin]

Right.

[Garrett J. White]

And so I just sit with myself and in the mountains, running on trails, I started to hear this voice talk to me. I didn't know where it was coming from. I didn't know whose voice it was. I just heard this voice and it would have conversations with me. And so I would run to get to this euphoric place where everything would calm down, my mind would calm down, everything would stop. And I could hear this voice as I walking. I just walked for hours in the mountains just having this conversation with whatever this thing was. I didn't know what it was and if it was coming from me or through me or around me. Didn't call it God at that time. That voice told me, you need to leave Mormonism now. For people who are in a local community Christian church, it's no big deal. Nobody cares. But I was raised generationally. My mother was Catholic and then she became Mormon. Our families were Mormon in every direction. And Mormonism, you don't just leave Mormonism Mormonism is like a mafia. There's only one out die. So choosing to leave was Abrahamic for me.

[Justin]

Got it.

[Garrett J. White]

Abraham was given three specific instructions. God said, cool. You want this promised land that I'm promising? You want more children? You. You want the stars of the sky and the sands of the sea. That the number of your posterity will outnumber those two. Void those two premises. Well, here's what I need you to do first. First, I need you to leave your country. Second, I need you to leave your family. Third, I need you to leave your father's house. Translated to me that means you need to leave the world you've created. You need to leave the stories about your wife, your children and your life as it is. And third, you need to let go of all your parents traditions. Some of them are wrong and some of them are bullshit. And inside it has a beginning stage that all man goes through to be able to learn to trust God. Now, I didn't know it was God at the time. I didn't even know I was going through an Abraham experience. It's only looking back. I knew that. So I did left Mormonism. This sent shock waves. Everyone in my networks and world were all Mormon. Now I'm black, blacklisted. This dude is untouchable. He has leprosy. You cannot touch this guy. But my wife then was forced into a decision. I'm a cheater, I'm broke. I lied, I lost everything. And I'm running every day and I'm not making money. And she chooses to ride with me for some fucking reason. She says, I'm in. I think if it was now, she'd be gone. If it was then. She was young, she was in her 20s. She was pregnant with our second daughter. She was scared. She didn't know what to do, she didn't know where to go. And I was just fucking running. And my wife looked at me like, what are you running from? I was like, I'm not running from anything. She's like, you're literally fucking running as I'm putting my running shoes on. I'm not running. You're such a. Stop talking. And then I would run, literally run away from her and run away from everyone into the nothing. So that became the beginning stage. And one of the first thing I had a coach back, name is Ron Zeller and he was a Landmark forum leader.

[Justin]

Okay.

[Garrett J. White]

And I got on a Landmark forum back in 2006 and he knew I was in a bad place and he said, hey, I saw him at this event he said, you and I, we should work together. You need some help? I was like, no, shit. He says, $10,000 for 10 calls. And I was like, I hadn't really invested in coaching much. And I looked at my bank account. I had like 13, $14,000, which was enough to pay the mortgage on one of the homes that I had, the one we were in. And I remember having this dilemma. I was like, if I pay the mortgage, I'll feel good for a couple weeks and I'll still be stupid. If I don't pay the mortgage and I pay Ron, at least I'll have somebody in my corner to help me be less stupid and the bank can off. So I made the decision, invested in coaching with Ron. And the first conversation we had was a foundational conversation to Bill Warrior, which he says, we're going to start with. The principle of integrity is that you are a liar. And I was exposed and I knew it. My whole life was a lie. I would put on the perception of one thing, but inside I was dying. I had darkness and pain and trauma and decision after decision of so much pain, a loss of what had been my identity. And now I'm trying to figure out who I am. What am I to do? The thing I knew was I was not going back into mortgages, not going back into real estate, not going back into insurance, although that didn't happen. We had a company called Paradigm Life, which I gave to one of my partners, Patrick Donahoe. He built that into an empire. Proud of him is great. And I was committed to this idea of truth. For whatever reason, the whole paradox flipped on me. I was like, wait a second. In the land of liars, truth is a weapon. And when spoken is received.

[E]

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[Garrett J. White]

Off devices early ct mobile.com as a declaration of war. So I was like, well I got nothing to offer but truth. So I just started speaking truth. This is what year this is 2009.

[Justin]

And that was the. The founding principle of Warrior was truth. By the way, if you guys don't know the Warrior way, if you don't know Warrior, he is the warrior. Make sure. Where, where does everyone want to go? I mean obviously follow him on social media. He's all over my social media. He's a close friend of mine. So follow Garrett J. White. But also where do you want to have everyone go?

[Garrett J. White]

Wakeupwarrior.com is a great place to go. Okay.

[Justin]

Wakeupwarrior.com make sure you get a wake up Warrior. If you're not where you want to be again, the principles of your family or business or parenthood, any of all of the above, this is going to be your guy. So wakeupwarrior.com okay, so this was the foundation 2009.

[Garrett J. White]

Truth.

[Justin]

Truth.

[Garrett J. White]

Which now people talk about authenticity.

[Justin]

Sure.

[Garrett J. White]

Talk about being authentic. This is 2009. Yeah. There's no Instagram, there's no TikTok, there's no free flowing iPhones and social media is barely something on Facebook.

[Justin]

The hell are you doing, dude?

[Garrett J. White]

All I did was go and speak truth everywhere. People like, how are you doing? Shitty. That's how it started. I remember my first day, I was like, you know what? Ron's right. I'm a fucking liar. I'm just going to tell the truth about where I'm at. And I'm sitting at grocery store and this lady goes, how are you today? I go, I'm shitty. She didn't know how to respond. She was like, like I just shoved a spoken her bicycle wheel and she flew over the handlebars. And then I just found how responsive people were, how terrified they were of it. And I was like, hold up. So then I go to business. I was sitting next to John Asaraf at the speaker Author networking group by Larry Benet in LA in 2009.

[Justin]

Sure.

[Garrett J. White]

And we're sitting at The I got Bill Barron John as a Raf from the Secret and all these people that are big dudes. I'm nothing. I got nothing. I got nothing to offer. I got there because of Kris Kro. Kris Krohn had brought me under his wing after I was under Garrett Gunderson's wing. After I lost everything, Chris picked me up because he and his wife had gone through the event I ran called Sole Purpose Intensive. Chris, like, God told me, I'm supposed to help you out. I was like, okay. He's like, so come under my wing here. Reic, which was his original company. He's like, come be on the team and we'll play. So he said, hey, I got a ticket to this event. You want to go with me? I was like, yeah. So he had introduced me as his business model. It was bullshit. I was a W2 employee making 10,000amonth, 7,000 take home. My bills were like 25,000. I was fucked. But at least I had a check. So that was good.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Garrett J. White]

And we're at this event and I'm, everyone's here, time to share. And I just gotten recently in tune with this idea from Ron that being in integrity and telling the truth would be a good idea. So they go around, hey, I'm Bill Barron, I'm a billionaire. Hey, I'm John Asroth, I'm from the Secret, blah, blah. And they go down, everybody's doing their shit. And I'm getting kind of nervous and excited at the same time. And then. What's the name who wrote Never Eat Alone?

[Justin]

Oh, what a great book.

[Garrett J. White]

What's the fucking name? Look that up first for a second. Never Eat Alone's a great Never Eat Alone. Great book. He was there. Speak. I can't believe I don't remember his name. Anyways, Keith Farazo. So he was there speaking, and his book was on Candor. He was also speaking about being candid. So it was kind of just getting cool with this idea of truth. And he had spoke about the more I was like, fuck it, it's full sin. Keith's artist said we should be candid with each other. So I said, hey, I wasn't Garrett J. White at the time. It was just Gary Wise. I'm Garrett White. I used to be something. I lost everything. I have no money. I have about twelve hundred dollars in my account right now. I was brought to this event supposedly as a business partner with Kris Krohn. Really? I'm an employee for him. I haven't been an employee since I was A PE teacher nine years ago. I cheated on my wife about six months ago. I have a pill popping addiction right now that I'm trying to work through. I run a lot and yeah, just real excited to be here. And everyone at the table is like, what the was that? And then I just smiled and I was like, so I'm excited.

[Justin]

Are you guys excited?

[Garrett J. White]

Excited to be here with you guys. And I remember Vishen Luggiano from Mindvalley was there.

[Justin]

Okay.

[Garrett J. White]

And I had gotten up on the mic and I shared. And Vishen will never probably remember this, but this came up to me after I got off the mic because on the second day they said, hey, who wants to share? And nobody raised their hand. And so I raised my hand and Larry's like, all right, you come up here. So I get up on the mic and I'm like, hey, listen, day one, everybody is really candid and talking, honest and open. And now we're kind of back to this cover up game I'm noticing. And everybody's trying to posture and position and strut. Like, I think it'd be cool. And I took my suit jacket off and I threw it on the floor. I was like, it might be cool if we actually told the truth around here. And the whole room's like, frozen. Then Vishen comes up to me in the hallway and he's like, bro, that was magical. Keep doing that. Whatever that is that you're doing, keep doing that. And that became the launch into a world of truth. And what I found inside of truth was this ability for us to find power, which eventually I come to understand was God. Truth is the access point to God. A liar cannot access God. A liar is like Adam hiding in the bush, blaming his wife. Adam lied because he was embarrassed. He was ashamed prior to the lie. He was not ashamed. He was naked, didn't give a fuck. He's like, here I am, I'm Adam. I'm the first dude. Look at me. He had no penis to compare against anybody else. He knew he was the biggest penis on the planet.

[Justin]

That's right.

[Garrett J. White]

He's like, I have the biggest of all time. I'm Adam. That is my woman, Eve. I'm always wondering how in the world they figured the sex thing out if you didn't have anything to look at, no one to coach you. How do you find that out?

[Justin]

No idea.

[Garrett J. White]

I wonder how many holes he tested before he found the right one.

[Justin]

Couple.

[Garrett J. White]

She's like, in the ear. He's like, well, that's not going to work. Is like, let's try something else. She probably had a guide him in. So anyways, that, that whole space of truth started me down this path of realizing that I was different. So I thought, until I started sharing all my dark shit all the time.

[Justin]

So you thought you were different because you had dark shit?

[Garrett J. White]

Then the truth was revealed to me.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Garrett J. White]

And what started happening is guys would pull me aside and they're like, dude, like that thing that you just shared, I, I had that happen too. Like I, this, the thing you just talked about, like, tell me more about that. And I started recognizing that not only was I not alone, I was the normal and the weirdos were the liars. And all men are liars. And they have been taught, trained and educated from the time we were born to lie. And the origin of our tradition comes from Father Adam, who was a liar. And lying has become the greatest obstacle to success in entrepreneurism, in marriage, in life, is the inability for someone to tell the truth. And that ties back to reason why we drag the past into the present. Because we are embarrassed, we're ashamed of our past, we're ashamed of our fuck ups. We think we're stupid, we're sinners. And we listen to pastors and we listen to society and we listen to shit talkers on social media who tell us we're something. But the greatest lie that Adam believed wasn't eating an apple. It was the eating an apple could make him something he already was. Lucifer said, eat of this apple and you'll obtain the knowledge of good and evil and be like God. He already was. Literally, he literally was God.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Garrett J. White]

He was born from the breath of God. He was God's ultimate creation. All the woman was because she was last. And he believed the lie that he could do something to become more of what he already was. So when you watch Entrepreneurs and we create, we build. We're never happy. We create, we build and we lie. Lie about what we're feeling, lie about what we want, lie about where we are. We can't own the truth because we perpetually pursuing this thing to make us feel a certain kind of way. We drink, we pop pills, we smoke weed, we do these things. We fudge other girls that aren't our wives. We do these things all in the hopes that we can feel it. If I make more money than I, if I do this, then I only finding the end of all of this. If this then yeah, we're still lost, still hurting, still not free, still stuck, still put on the face. Marriage gets boring. That's why? You watch dudes, they're married tens and they'll cheat with sixes.

[Justin]

Oh, no doubt.

[Garrett J. White]

You're like, what the are you doing? Women do the same. They're like, your dude is a solid dude and you just slept with Bobby Bud Light from the local bar. What the. Bobby Bud Light's got a hairy ass back and a garage over his. And somehow you thought that was good. If you got six pack on the drill over here and help me understand what's going on right now.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Garrett J. White]

Because inherently, the deepest desire for men and women is to be seen. The problem is you can't be seen unless you see yourself. So we disrespect ourselves with lies and we disrespect ourselves with half truths. And I have to say certain things to you, Justin, to make you feel some kind of way, because I feel some kind of way about myself. This is why marriages fall apart. That's why business fall apart. Because we can't get into the truth. I mean, imagine how hard it is. Think about this. People are like, monogamy doesn't work. I was like, monogamy is hard. Monogamy is hard. It is a hard sign up. If you back up on that contract, you're saying, one penis or one vagina the rest of my life. That's an impossible game. It is legitimately an impossible game. If you actually evolving the way God built us to evolve, which is you today, will be different than you a year from now.

[Justin]

That's right.

[Garrett J. White]

The woman you're with will be different a year from now. My woman will be different a year from now. And along the way, we start to do this, and there has to be a commitment to re choose this new version. The businesses evolve. You did a million. I'm a badass. Well, guess what? That whole business has to be destroyed to do 10. And that business has to be destroyed again to do 25.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Garrett J. White]

And that business has to be destroyed again to do 50. It's not fucking one plus one equals two. The whole mechanism has to be rebuilt. Your processes, your systems, your structures, the way you lead people. Everything has to change. So being an entrepreneur and being married and then doing the ultimate of the trifecta, you think, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna multiply, replenish the earth. I'm gonna full. I'm gonna send one shot full send to the moon and we're gonna make a baby.

[Justin]

That's right.

[Garrett J. White]

You're like, oh, this baby thing's gonna be awesome.

[Justin]

Easy. They say so Easy.

[Garrett J. White]

It's gonna be great. We're gonna have a baby. We're gonna post pictures on social media. My wife's gonna take hot pregnant pictures. We're gonna post them on the Instagram. People are gonna champion a cheer us. I'm gonna shoot the cannon and find out if it comes out pink or blue. And then. And then you realize the man, oh, my wife's been hostage.

[Justin]

I've ever heard it that way.

[Garrett J. White]

My. I just burnt the blocker.

[Justin]

No.

[Garrett J. White]

Holy. I did this to myself. That shot just cost me a whole bunch of shots.

[Justin]

That's it.

[Garrett J. White]

Now I'm not even getting a shot on goal.

[Justin]

Nope.

[Garrett J. White]

Most affairs and most dysfunction of marriage happens baby number one. Baby number one. Because dudes aren't prepared for it. No sex is going to change. Some dudes going to, like, defense mode. I go into defense mode. I'm like, okay, protect the carrier of the baby. Should I touch her? Should I not touch her? She needs space. She needs sleep. All right, I'll sleep in the other room. You sleep here. I did all the wrong shit.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Garrett J. White]

All of it.

[Justin]

Did it wrong enough. Long enough.

[Garrett J. White]

Yeah. Five times. Did it wrong.

[Justin]

Go.

[Garrett J. White]

Yeah. I can't. I got it. Almost good on the last one.

[Justin]

Almost.

[Garrett J. White]

Almost good. Almost.

[Justin]

It was good. It was almost good.

[Garrett J. White]

And now I'm gonna look back with, you know, vasectomy and go, well, definitely could have done that different.

[Justin]

I did the vasectomy after two. I said, I'm out.

[Garrett J. White]

I get it. I get it. How are we going to. Had you first four years ago.

[Justin]

So I was 39.

[Garrett J. White]

Yeah.

[Justin]

So I started later, though, because I had to go through my boy season. Season was almost two decades and we have you. But I needed it because I was genuinely being true to myself. Like, I was no man to give to another human. Right. So I was like, I was aware enough. I had enough emotional IQ to say, this isn't the season for me to hitch up a wagon. And so I did that. And then I found this amazing woman, and she's amazing. And I couldn't be happier. And in two kids. And then I said, we did what my job was. And so now went and snipped it.

[Garrett J. White]

It makes sense. I pushed my first job. Well, I didn't push a child out anything. I contributed a seed to the creation of my son.

[Justin]

There you go.

[Garrett J. White]

But I was 22, I'll tell you.

[Justin]

Listen, I have one of my best friends in the entire planet. Business partner. He married us, was a Mormon.

[Garrett J. White]

Yes.

[Justin]

Five kids. You have five kids. I feel like you and I are on that best friend trajectory.

[Garrett J. White]

Yeah.

[Justin]

I. And I go, God bless you.

[Garrett J. White]

Yeah.

[Justin]

Son. Because I have two.

[Garrett J. White]

Yeah.

[Justin]

And it's the pride of my life. But I'm also 43 now, so different being a parish, a different place in life.

[Garrett J. White]

So different.

[Justin]

You know, at 32, I. I don't think I was in a place.

[Garrett J. White]

Right.

[Justin]

I mean, it is.

[Garrett J. White]

Brows 22. My ex. My. My son's mother and I legitimately got married to have sex.

[Justin]

Mormonism.

[Garrett J. White]

Mormonism. It's like, hey, I got a plan. You know what we should do? We. We. We technically are not to have sex. We'll do everything else but the sex. Yeah.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Garrett J. White]

Because that's justifiable somehow. And then. But what we're gonna do is wait to have sex until we get married. And we're only getting married to have sex.

[Justin]

So we should go to Vegas.

[Garrett J. White]

Yeah. Today. Get married, have sex, and then get a divorce. Which a lot of more young kids do that do.

[Justin]

They really? Isn't like getting a divorce a big you.

[Garrett J. White]

It's kind of a. It's kind of a no no. But it's kind of not a no no anymore. Well, everywhere. So. But like, when I was growing up, that's why my parents say together, because it was. They grew up in a not divorced generation. Same thing with my in laws. Not divorced generation. It just. It was a whole world of people that didn't get divorced.

[Justin]

All right, I'm going to take this conversation. We can go. So first of all, out of curiosity, you and Danielle have how many together?

[Garrett J. White]

We have four. Four girls together. And my son was with my previous relationship. Yeah.

[Justin]

And the daughter I met, y. Your oldest.

[Garrett J. White]

She's. Baby. She's from Danielle.

[Justin]

The first from Danielle.

[Garrett J. White]

Yep. So she's my oldest daughter. She's almost 18.

[Justin]

18.

[Garrett J. White]

She'll be 18 tomorrow.

[Justin]

God bless you too. So divorce marriage. I think there's this thing. I don't know how I feel about divorce in the sense of I will never get divorced, but it's also because I took the journey that I knew was for me.

[Garrett J. White]

Yeah.

[Justin]

Is I waited. Like, I have the hunger that younger men have. Like, I drained myself.

[Garrett J. White]

Yeah.

[Justin]

Plenty.

[Garrett J. White]

Yeah.

[Justin]

And I have a really hot wife, and she's really supportive and have all these different characteristics. But I also don't shame divorce in the sense of you and your first wife were not meant to spend life together.

[Garrett J. White]

No. Not at all. Intermarriage, Create our son, and that's it.

[Justin]

And to your point of this diversion, if you guys can't find a way back selfishly because otherwise you want to fight to get back, right? Like you Daniel have. I don't know if I shame it either. Like I'm not in a pro divorce guy. Like oh yeah, just divorce the chick or divorce the dude. He's an idiot. What are your thoughts on that? I mean you literally shape men. Mostly men. Almost all men. Wake up warrior by the way.com Garrett J. White Come on, flex on them so you've seen a lot more in me. I come from a divorced family. I will tell you. I think there's something beautiful in the fact when families can't stay together to fight to stay together. But I also think to some extent there's detriment when the fight is just always fighting and you're staying together to say you stayed together and yeah 100.

[E]

Well people, there's one thing that will forever change the way you sleep and it's the softest 100 organic cotton sheets from Bolin Branch. You'll fall asleep faster wrapped in the most luxurious comfort. You'll never sleep hot again with sheets that feel breathable to sleep in. You'll experience the purest softness on night one and feel your sheets get even softer with every wash. Discover the difference with 15% off your first set of [e-mail] with code cumulus Exclusions apply. See site for details at T Mobile.

[Advertiser]

We'Ll give you four free 5G phones and four lines for only $25 per line per month with eligible trade ins. And no, it's not a contest. It's every day for a limited time. Everyone's a winner on America's largest 5G network.

Minimum of 4 lines for 25 per line per month with auto paid discount using debit or bank account. $5 more per line without autopay up to 830 off each phone via 24 monthly bill credit plus taxes, fees and 10 device connection charge for well qualified customers. Contact us before canceling entire account to continue bill credits or credit stop and balance on required finance agreement to bill credits and if you pay off devices.

[Garrett J. White]

Early ct mobile.com I'm talking about is they talk about divorce rates but they don't talk about happiness rates.

[Justin]

Amen bro.

[Garrett J. White]

So you have all these couples that will stay together. They're miserable, they do not want to be together. So I covered you saw such a explosion in divorce because people are locked in a room together. So a lot of you you can fake you here's the challenge. So if a dude's in a relationship With a girl that wants to fuck, but they fight all the time and they don't connect anything else but this. A dude will stay in that situation because his penis is being satisfied for 10 to 15, 20 years. Yeah, as long as she keeps him, he'll be like just enough, like even. And if she's aggressive with it, strategic with it, she can keep this dude on the hook for a long time. Because dudes have a short memory, there's no doubt. Her, her. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And party brain's like her. And other parts like, oh but this is so good. Oh boy. Post come brain. Hey. Oh dude, we're good. I think we're good.

[Justin]

Post orgasm disorder.

[Garrett J. White]

Yeah, for sure. You can't think straight.

[Justin]

No.

[Garrett J. White]

That's why girls that want to know how to get what they want is like you're asking the. This is the fucking piece. God built women to communicate and then feel intimate and then they want to fudge. Now when they're younger is different. But as you get above 30 and women are looking to find a place to take care of them and hit safety and security, they're like, I want to be seen, then I want to have you inside me. Dudes are like, listen, I can't even feel you until I'm inside you. So how about we just put me inside you, I come and then I can be as intimate as you want to be. I'll lay here for hours and listen to your nonsense. Yeah, I'll listen and it won't be like nonsense to me. I'll be like God that's so beautiful what you're saying right now. I just am so in love with you because you got the post ball drain experience. But that's not how God build us. We both struggle communication and telling the truth. Then men want to fuck and then feel intimate. Women want to feel intimate and then fuck. He like cross connected the game. So who's going to cross the line first? Is a dude going to create intimacy and then fuck? Can he even figure that out? Most dudes cannot.

[Justin]

That's right.

[Garrett J. White]

And or the opposite. Can a woman submit and say if I fuck this man who I love then he'll be everything I need him to be right now. Now there's always exception to this. Plenty of dudes are fucking. They're still assholes. But there's also way more dudes who are good. Men chose the woman in his mind. He's like, this is it, she's it. Yeah, I see hot girls all over the place. But the truth Is I just want to be in that vagina. I. I picked her. She's my one. I want. Why are you holding out on me? Why are you making this such a complicated deal? I was talking to a guy two weeks ago. I spoke to this vet. He comes up to me afterwards, he's in tears. He's like 42, made 800,000 last year, has four children. He travels bunch for business, providing for the family. This woman has everything she wants. He's like, dude, she won't fucking. And he's crying. He's weeping about it with me. And I was like, I feel you, dude.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Garrett J. White]

He's like, it doesn't matter. She's like, all I asked her yesterday when I left, I was like, I'm going on this trip. Please can we sexually connect before I go so that my mind is focused and I can be connected to you, etc. And she starts into huge fight. So I'm pissed off and I'm angry and I'm sexually frustrated and I'm trying. I'm like, I'm giving this woman everything she has the money, she has time, she has everything. She just holds out. So these women get just as fucked up about it, where they don't know how to submit. They don't know how to even let themselves be submissive in this. And the guys go as strong as they can. But as the clock starts going about 7 to 10 days, dudes go crazy. Because you're captivated. Now, if you're in an open relationship, you got options. You got tension.

[Justin]

Sure.

[Garrett J. White]

This is why people are trying to go to relationships. Because they're like, oh, if, you know, I go f. Ck her. If you're being stupid, then maybe you'll stop being stupid. How about you stop being stupid? Because if you're stupid tomorrow, I'm going over there.

[Justin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Garrett J. White]

And if you're stupid on Saturday, I'm gonna go third. And so people think this is the answer. By the way, open relations all fail.

[Justin]

I was just gonna say almost all curious to what you're thought. Like, yeah, I don't know of anyone that I was aware of that still together.

[Garrett J. White]

I had one. One guy I know, Keith Yacki.

[Justin]

My guy Keith.

[Garrett J. White]

Keith Yackey is the only one in open relationship who him and Jesse have seemed to figure out how to make it work with each other. But besides, I don't know anybody. Yeah, everybody's gone down that path. Somebody gets into a relationship with other person, then it's considered cheating because now you have an emotional connection. And then the chaos begins for a fucking divorce. So it doesn't work and it's not solving the problem, but there's this feeling. So how do you create that tension where you're like, in this monogamous place saying, I choose you, you choose me. That means both people have to submit. Yes, Dual submission. Guys got to commit to creating intimacy. Woman has to commit to putting out. And the ultimate goal is, can she put out because she wants it too? Can he be intimate because he loves her and not make it all about sex? Can she givingly, willingly allow her body to be in communion with his because she wants to please him? Can he serve her because he wants to please her? Not because I'm gonna fuck him to get what I want. I'm gonna be nice to her to get what I want. Instead of, can I actually do this because I love the person I'm with? Can I be intimate, sit and listen to my wife for 30 minutes, talk herself into a goddamn circle, not want to solve one fucking problem, not want to do anything but say that I will sit while she blow dries her hair in the bathroom. And I just sit on the toilet. I'm not taking a shit. I'm just sitting on the toilet. And I'll look at her and her tops off and she's beautiful and I'm just looking at her breasts and they're amazing. And her hair's long. She's just blowing her dry. And I'm like, you want me to blow dry your hair, babe? Which I'm pretty damn good at it. So I'll blow dry the hair. We're in the hair industry, I got some skills. So I'm blow drying the hair and I'm not saying shit. I'm like, tell me more about that. Wow, sounds. That sounds hard, man, I sure love you. What else happened? Okay, what else? I won't say a fucking thing. And at the end of 30 minutes, she'll be like, ah, you were so present. Thank you. And in the back of my mind as a dude, I'm like, we fucking went nowhere. We didn't go a goddamn place. I don't. We literally drove around the fucking block, came right back to the same spot. Not one fucking thing has changed. You still don't solve the problem. You still don't know what the hell you're doing. And there's no way out of this cul de sac you're in outside of us, me ramming a two by four into the conversation, which when I do now, I'm not listening. You don't feel heard. You don't feel supported. And I'm not getting laid. So I'm like, well, that's okay.

[Justin]

That takes some deep, deep fortitude.

[Garrett J. White]

Massive.

[Justin]

So I was going to ask you, and maybe that was your answer. How does a man. For all my men out there, how do we fight that fight so we can be present? So we can genuinely submit to our women who want to have a conversation in circles and be present? Doing what is that advice that you.

[Garrett J. White]

Can give us mention first identity was, listen, you're a dude. Listen. If God didn't want your penis to be in a vagina, he wouldn't have put all the sensitivity on the end of it. Then you wouldn't even want to touch it. It wouldn't be. I mean, you don't see dudes walking around rubbing their knees, sound like, hey, I'm gonna go in the bathroom real quick and rub one out on my knee. We'll go rub my knee out. No, it's like, dude, your penis was built to penetrate. That's the thing. And that's not your fault. Being triggered by beautiful women, that's not your fault. That's part of life. Like, I used to have a hard time with that. Women know you're lying to what? Beautiful woman walks by, she catches you looking. It's like, you can try. You can't not look. It's like, full radar. Yeah, it's just like, she knows. And then she's like, do you think she's hot? And then she knows you're going to lie, and you're like, no, no, no, no, baby, they don't want. I look at only you. And she's like, he's full of shit. I don't trust him. So I started getting on. I said, what? This girl walked by on the beach years ago. Nice ass, big tits, beautiful body. Walking by, sitting on a towel with my wife, and she walked, and she looked over at me, and I looked at her, and I held the G three minutes or three seconds on three minutes, and she looked fast. And my wife's like, you just looked at her ass. I was like, I did. It's nice. She didn't know what to do because I'd always lied about it.

[Justin]

Over there.

[Garrett J. White]

No, no, I wasn't looking, or I do the corner eye under the glasses, just kind of looking. All dudes do this. They do it in church, they do it on the beach. They do it at downtown, at restaurants. You cannot.

[Justin]

You can't do it here in Miami.

[Garrett J. White]

Well, dude, here, Miami, it's like your.

[Justin]

Eyes can't go that many different.

[Garrett J. White]

Too many. There's too many. The only thing that's funny about Miami I found is like. Like, I'll walk around, dudes won't look at my wife. They'll look at me. Almost like looking like, hey, you know, good job. Just like, quick look at the wife and me. The only people don't do that are the Cuban godfathers around here. Yeah, These dudes set the tables. Like 20 people at the table. They'll just look right at my wife the whole time.

[Justin]

Oh, yeah, Give a.

[Garrett J. White]

Just look right at her, dude. They're just eyeing her up and down. And then the look at me. No, not even a hesitation. They're just like. And I'll nod to them. They don't even nod back. They're just like, I'll kill you. I'm like, hey, you're not taking my woman. Try, let's say, let's see what happens. But inside of that space, like, for guys, it's like, can I get to a place of owning my truth?

[Justin]

So when she's going around and around in circles talking, own my truth.

[Garrett J. White]

My job is to be immovable. How can I be immovable? Becomes a question. Well, you can't be immovable if you're lying. So what is a lie a guy has to tell the truth about? Sex matters. So I'll ask guys when I come in, I was like, listen, this sex problem we have going on in the marriage, which happens for most men in marriage and long term relationships, seasons up and down and up and down, go through droughts that are horrible. And in that place, I'm like, okay, is this problem in sex, is it a divorceable event for you? Like, what do you mean? I was like, if this continues the way it's continuing, is it a divorceable event for you? Would you leave her over it? Nine out of ten guys will say yes.

[Justin]

Mm.

[Garrett J. White]

One out of ten would say, I would never. I said, then I can't help you because the leverage isn't believing. She has to know you're fucking going. And if she wants to be part of this life with you, she's going to come. If she doesn't want to come with you, then she's going to choose out.

[Justin]

And then in the reverse, you have.

[Garrett J. White]

To be, well, the same token goes, you don't get a play game, she doesn't get to play. Which means if this is your demand and expectation, she gets to have her demands, expectations, which is, you're going to listen to Me.

[Justin]

And you're going to do my hair. And you're listening.

[Garrett J. White]

You're going to listen to me, Try.

[Justin]

To fix a goddamn thing.

[Garrett J. White]

Nothing.

[Justin]

Listen.

[Garrett J. White]

Just want you to ask questions about me, idiot. Don't come home and tell me about all your business success when you've been gone for 14 hours. I don't give a shit. Don't tell me about all the cool shit you're doing because you're being taken away from me. I don't want to hear about your dumb wake up warrior movement. I don't want to hear about some big deal you're doing. I don't want to hear the breakthroughs in the guys. I want you to focus on me. So I stopped coming home and bringing business home, and I just put it all down. I go right to her. Lay, I know you had these sort of 33 things going on today. Tell me about. First one, how's your book going? And there's just pure presence, connection to this. But that's impossible if I don't live in truth to myself, which is acknowledging things I want in life, but also, also acknowledging where I'm at. Where am I up? Where am I out of integrity? Where am I lying to myself? Where am I at? And this stripping away process everything we've been doing for 13 years and worry with our tools, which is helping guys get down to this base foundational rock of truth. And the interesting part is in that truth, we call that waking up. You wake up to a new perspective, like the dawn. Like when the sun's coming. You can't see the sun, but there's light. Most men are operating in this dark pit, and they're trying to make. Create the facade of light. They're throwing out flares from the pit. They're throwing out sparklers or shooting fireworks. I'm good. You're not good, dude. You have to turn the light on inside. And the only way to turn the light on inside is not to be perfect, to tell the truth.

[Justin]

Mm.

[Garrett J. White]

But to own that truth. Not as a victim, not as a projection. Not blaming your wife, not blame anybody else. This is where I'm at. I hurt. I'm not happy. I'm feeling very angry. I'm very pissed off. I'm fucking filled with rage about this situation. And it's all my fault because that Jews will be like, well, my wife, this. You chose to be with her. You choose to stay with her. If you choose to be with her and choose to stay with her and continue to tolerate this in yourself and in her is your fault. You have no. You have no hall pass on this.

[Justin]

That's right.

[Garrett J. White]

She's not doing anything to you that you're allowing to happen. So when guys get to truth, this light turns on. But the next stage, you have to take a knee. Take a knee to God, take a knee to truth. Both in where they are and now only in the truth of where they are. The vision of what they could be. Next. What do I want? Real easy to. About what you don't want.

[Justin]

Oh, yeah.

[Garrett J. White]

Well, I don't want my wife to do this and this. Okay. What do you want her to do?

[Justin]

Get clear on that.

[Garrett J. White]

What do you want that to be?

[Justin]

I have a five laws of success, and I think you've heard them. But the first law that I believe is that decide what you want and decide who you need to be to get it. That is the first law that I tell people. Because if you don't have the clarity on what you want, then you don't know who you need to be to get it.

[Garrett J. White]

Yeah.

[Justin]

To be truthful, to be honest, to go deep in there, to find the light. That's what you're talking about?

[Garrett J. White]

Yep. And that's hard. That's real hard. Because that comes with. That comes with a price that has to be paid.

[Justin]

Yeah.

[Garrett J. White]

Because if the truth is known to you and you own the truth, and then that truth itself is now shared with the world around you. Here is my truth. Most of the relationships you in will end because most relationships you were built were built on lies.

[Justin]

Their own sand.

[Garrett J. White]

Yeah, most marriages were built on lies. Half of my truth was shared. We built a relationship with the part I had the courage to share. And the rest of my shit I'm gonna hide. I'm not gonna tell you what I'm feeling. And women have to face the same situation, particularly women that don't produce make money because they're held hostage in a certain situation. If I tell this man that produces my full truth, will he leave me? Will he abandon me? If my husband rises in power, will he leave me and now replace me? So women are going through the same fears. It is a different set of fears. And so women have produced and make money in this attempt in the new generation of woman to try to feel safe. The only challenge a lot of them are getting into is that they're bringing so much masculine energy into the relationship. The guy's just like, fuck you. Holy shit. Let me tell you how this is not gonna go. I just fucking dealt with dudes all day long. I Want to come home to a soft woman with a vagina and breasts who wants to cuddle me on the couch and talk with me? I don't want to come home, have another goddamn war. I was in war for 12 hours, all day long. Now I'm coming home to home. War. And the castle war. Fuck this place. I can win out there. Here I'm in trouble with you. I didn't come home to be in war with you at home. Holy shit. And I tell this women, I'm like, listen, you want to win? Drop your fucking masculine. Stop coming aggressive with these dudes. They don't like it. And what you're creating is a bunch of pussy purse boys. And then these women are unhappy with those guys. Well, then he's on. And they always go cheat with the dude who's fucking more aggressive. But then they get with aggressive dude and they try to match his aggressivity. You're like, what's wrong with you? Well, that's not their fault either, because they've been taught, trained, educated to be this way too. That's why you see powerful women, women who run a lot of masculine energy. Their dudes aren't alpha. Dudes are. Yeah, it's hilarious, dude. I'll see women. Like, it's pretty good in a personal development space. These women are aggressive and all intense. You meet their dude, I don't even have to. I don't even have to ask. There's no doubt, because the dude rolls up and you're like, oh, sweet baby Jesus. You lotion your hands six times a day. Your hands are softer than your wife's. I was like, that's a problem. Oh, God.

[Justin]

Guys, listen. If you've been listening to this, you gotta go follow this man. We're on a time. We could do this for the next three or four hours, brother. Thank you for showing up, showing out.

[Garrett J. White]

You got it.

[Justin]

I don't think there's anything we didn't cover, but we could have gone way deeper. We're gonna do this a lot.

[Garrett J. White]

We are.

[Justin]

A couple times.

[Garrett J. White]

We're gonna do a lot of this fun stuff together.

[Justin]

This is gonna be fun. Wakeupwarrior.com Garrett J. White, the man that will change your life one way or another. Appreciate you. If any of this hit you, hit your soul, hit your heart, your mind. Make sure you share this with at least two of your friends. I'll see you guys in the next episode.

[Garrett J. White]

Peace.