The Shadow Side of Entrepreneurship: Stress, Money Shame & Why You’re Already OK | Tim Grimes

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Entrepreneur DNA

Episode: The Shadow Side of Entrepreneurship: Stress, Money Shame & Why You’re Already OK

Host: Justin Colby (Bleav)
Guest: Tim Grimes (Bestselling Author, Radical Counselor)
Date: May 22, 2026

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Overview

This episode delves into the often-overlooked psychological and emotional challenges faced by entrepreneurs. Host Justin Colby and guest Tim Grimes, a stress management expert and radical counselor, discuss the stress and anxiety prevalent in the entrepreneurial journey. They explore the importance of understanding personal values, the traps of comparison and money shame, actionable stress management techniques, and why self-acceptance is the foundation for growth. With practical tips and honest reflections, the episode reminds listeners that, as entrepreneurs, "you're already OK"—and that clarity about your own goals and well-being is just as essential as business success.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Reality of Entrepreneurial Stress and the "Paradox of Freedom"

(Start–05:52)

• Many go into entrepreneurship seeking freedom and autonomy, yet "constant action" and decision-making are inherently stressful.
• Entrepreneurship isn’t always the laid-back, free-flowing life we imagine (the "Tom Cruise in Cocktail" fantasy).
• Tim Grimes (03:18):
  “There's a big disconnect between creating your own business and being self-employed and that kind of, ‘Oh, I can take it easy, let things flow’. No, you’ve got to take constant action, which is inherently stressful.”
• Perspective: Stress is inevitable, but there are ways to operate more peacefully and effectively if we get honest about what we truly value.

2. Redefining Success: Bigger Isn’t Always Better

(05:52–07:42)

• Societal and entrepreneurial norms promote a "bigger is better" approach, but maintaining a smaller, more manageable business can create more personal freedom and satisfaction.
• Success is personal—financial freedom means something different to everyone.
• Justin Colby (06:18):
  “There’s this image of successful entrepreneurship—Wolf of Wall Street, big office, massive operation… but more often than not, bigger is not better, and staying small to keep it all tends to win the day.”

3. Tactical Stress Management for Entrepreneurs

(07:42–13:18)

Common Tools:

• Daily relaxation activities are crucial: could be working out, walking, quiet coffee time, or even just watching sports.
• Tim Grimes (09:44):
  “Your baseline level of stress increases if you don’t have daily activities that relax you. Your decision-making becomes less sharp and that will affect your business.”

Uncommon Practices:

• Daily written reflection: For 10–15 minutes, consider “What do I want?” and “Why?”—not from a place of analysis, but from relaxed contemplation.
• Use journaling and imagination as a space for clarity rather than critical self-analysis.
• Tim Grimes (12:34):
  “This is not a critical thinking exercise. This is a relaxation exercise. We're utilizing our imagination… just sit there with that for like 10 minutes. What do I want? Why?”

4. The Deep Roots of Money Shame and the Ego Trap

(13:18–17:11)

• Childhood experiences and ingrained beliefs often underpin our relationship with money and success.
• Much entrepreneurial behavior is subconsciously driven by fear and shame (“I’m not worthy,” “I need to prove myself”).
• Tim Grimes (15:37):
  “When we get deep, it’s not about getting rich… when I look at money, my relationship with money, it comes back to uncomfortable feelings: fear and shame.”
• Leaning into these feelings and understanding their roots can transform our relationship with money—and ourselves.

5. The Trap of Chasing the Goalpost

(17:11–21:11)

• Entrepreneurs often move the goalpost: hitting one financial target doesn’t bring satisfaction, leading to ever-increasing, often unattainable benchmarks.
• Social media intensifies the cycle of comparison, leading to heightened stress, unrealistic expectations, and unfulfillment.
• Tim Grimes (19:29):
  “The desire and the feeling of having to keep up, inferiority, shame—that’s always been there. But with social media, it’s a different ballgame… now, everyone’s got their profile. It creates a gigantic misperception of what is actually going on.”

6. Somatic and Non-Traditional Practices for Alignment

(22:27–25:36)

• Turn attention from the mind to the body (somatic practices). Ask where in your body you feel stress. Accept and “make space” for uncomfortable sensations rather than fighting or ignoring them.
• Emphasize being with feelings, asking them gently what they want, rather than searching for intellectual solutions.
• For quick relief: physical release—yelling, moving energetically, even honking your car horn can “reset” the system.
• Tim Grimes (24:15):
  “Nothing you do in a day will create a lasting shift… see, when people compare themselves to others, they’re distracting themselves from why I’m feeling the way I feel about myself right now. It always comes back down to me, me, me.”

7. Action vs. Self-Improvement: Striking a Balance

(27:39–36:15)

• Grinding—focused, intensive work—will likely make you more money if wealth is the only goal. But relentless hustle comes with a heavy, often hidden, personal cost.
• Self-improvement, relaxation, and reflection are essential, but overemphasis leads to inaction and lack of momentum (“too much navel-gazing”).
• Structure and systems are essential—balance internal work with disciplined, consistent external action.
• Tim Grimes (33:35):
  “If you’re over-obsessing about your own stuff, you’re not going to be performing as well for others [in your business]. It’s a fine line with all this self-improvement stuff.”

8. Navigating the Self-Improvement Industry & Manifestation Myths

(36:15–39:16)

• The self-improvement and manifestation sector is full of unrealistic promises. Lasting change requires acceptance and action—visualization and journaling are helpful only if paired with real-world systems and steps.
• Tim Grimes (38:09):
  “I have found, over the last couple years, how ineffective manifestation and even self-improvement concepts and techniques… are, unless action and structure are part of our daily just… default.”

9. The Dangers of Comparison—and the Path to Self-Acceptance

(39:16–43:19)

• Comparing oneself to others—especially via social media—is a major driver of stress, shame, and dissatisfaction.
• True self-improvement is not about surpassing others, but about accepting oneself and acting with intention.
• Tim Grimes (41:22):
  “You’re all right right now and just keep going. Don’t beat yourself up. You’re okay as you are… You genuinely are okay right now.”

10. Takeaways and Closing Thoughts

(41:22–end)

• Acceptance is the foundation for change:
  Carl Rogers (paraphrased by Tim):
  “The curious paradox is that only when I accept myself fully that I’m capable of change.” (36:15 & 41:22)
• Self-improvement and productivity must be balanced; no technique replaces the need for action.
• Listeners are encouraged to check out Tim Grimes’ book, "Money, You, Friend," which provides reflection tools for transforming your relationship with money.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Justin Colby (06:18): “Bigger is not better, and staying small to keep it all tends to win the day.”
• Tim Grimes (13:18): “So much of this... the uncomfortable feelings. Fear and shame.”
• Tim Grimes (24:15): “Nothing you do in a day will create a lasting shift.”
• Justin Colby (39:16): “Comparison is like the root of all evil to me.”
• Tim Grimes (41:22): “You’re OK right now. And you want to get better at business or improve these things, that’s fine. But you’re OK right now.”

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Important Timestamps & Topics

| Timestamp | Segment & Topic | |-----------|-------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:18 | The paradox of self-employment: freedom vs. stress | | 06:18 | Myth vs. reality of business growth and scale | | 09:44 | The value of daily relaxation rituals | | 12:34 | “What do I want and why?”—reflection practice | | 15:37 | The roots of money shame and personal worth | | 17:11 | Chasing goals and the endless moving goalpost | | 19:29 | Impact of social media on comparison and self-worth | | 24:15 | Somatic practices: getting out of your head | | 27:39 | The grind vs. relax paradox; subjective definitions of "enough" | | 33:35 | The pitfalls of excessive self-improvement/navel-gazing | | 36:15 | Manifestation: myth vs. reality—need for systems and action | | 41:22 | Radical self-acceptance as the foundation for growth | | 42:33 | Tim’s book “Money, You, Friend”—practical guidance |

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Conclusion: Key Takeaways

• Entrepreneurship requires understanding—and accepting—both its inherent stress and your personal definition of success.
• Balance action with reflection: Self-Care and self-knowledge are essential, but never a replacement for consistent external effort.
• Comparison is destructive: Focus on your journey and values, not someone else’s curated milestones.
• Self-acceptance is not complacency: It’s the starting point for all real, sustainable change.
• You’re OK right now: Growth and ambition are good, but your worth is not tied to outcomes.

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Learn More & Connect

• Tim Grimes’ free book, “Money, You, Friend” is available via episode links.
• To join Justin Colby’s entrepreneur community (with guests like Tim), visit theentrepreneurdna.com.

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This summary omits advertisements, sponsor placements, and non-content sections for clarity and focus.

Transcript

[Tim Grimes]

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[Justin Colby]

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[Justin Colby]

What is up the Entrepreneur DNA Family this is gonna be a good one. I think I say this all the time, but this is because if you are an entrepreneur, if you're an aspiring entrepreneur, if you're launching or you're in the game fighting the good fight, you're gonna want to pay attention to my next guest here. As always, these episodes are brought to you by the Entrepreneur Community. The community is built for you because I bring in guests just like this into the community to help us entrepreneurs not just survive but to win in the entrepreneur game. So I have a multiple time best selling author regarding stress management which we all need some of that and a radical counselor. Tim Grimes is here. How are you bud?

[Tim Grimes]

I'm very good, Justin. Thank you for having me.

[Justin Colby]

You're very welcome. So listen, I'm excited because we were joking kind of off camera. Here is stress management is such a needed component of our lives. Many people get into the entrepreneur space want to be business owners because they don't. They want. Well, let me say it this Way, they want to create their own life, they want their own financial freedom. They don't want to be told how to do it. They don't want to slave for the man. So they take on the entrepreneur space. And you and I both know it's not for everyone. I believe everyone should do it to some level, but when I talk about stress, it is a lot easier. I always say I wish sometimes I was Tom Cruise on, in the movie Cocktails. Right. Just bartending on the beach where I didn't really have much money to speak of. But man, no brains, no headaches. Right. I mean, it just, it's that whole thing. So as a, a counselor, specifically the stress management and you know, your website is Radical Counselor. That's. That's incredible. Talk to us a little bit about your expertise and how, you know, it plays into the entrepreneur space.

[Tim Grimes]

Yeah, you know, I've been self employed for over 20 years and.

[Justin Colby]

Oh, that's all.

[Tim Grimes]

Yeah, that's it. It's enough. Enough to get started. You're just warming up a few gray hairs. And I've just, I've always been fascinated with the mind, body, relationship and ways we can relax. And I've always found it paradoxical that so many people exactly like you say get, are self employed because they want that flexibility. They want to live the dream of not having a boss kind of calling their own shots. But the reality is, I think most of us really want that Tom Cruise cocktail life in some way. At least I know I did when I started this. And there's a big disconnect between creating your own business and being self employed. And that kind of, oh, I can take it. I can just let things flow. Things are easy. It will come to me. It's like, no, you got to take constant action, which is inherently stressful, basically, when you're taking action, making decisions all the time. But the paradox is there is a way to relax more while we're taking that constant action that allows us to just operate better and makes it so we don't feel totally overwhelmed with the process. So what I try to tell people is, listen, you're okay right now. No matter where you are in the process, you're going to have a lot of ups and downs when it comes to business. We all do. But you can embrace the moment and embrace focusing on relaxation more while you do all these tasks that are tough. And I think it's very important to get honest with ourselves in terms of what we value, because as I said, many of us really do think entrepreneurship is Quite different than it is. And if you're honest with yourself about that, you will tighten that gap. So you figure out what works for you. Because like you said, Justin, a little bit can be enough for a lot of people. Right? You don't have to go all in, you know, work 80 hours a week and grind. Some people like that. But there are. There are different ways of doing it. And kind of looking at ourselves honestly about what it is for us right now and what season we're in, I think is very helpful.

[Justin Colby]

I've been talking a lot about what you just said. I love how you. I take notes all the time because all my guests are brilliant, right? And so I love this. But you talk about what you value, and I talk about entrepreneur, the whole community. The entrepreneur DNA, which is a spin off of this podcast, right, is I bring on incredible guests like yourself to help aspiring entrepreneurs, early stage entrepreneurs or founding entrepreneurs that are struggling. I bring in this community because of all these different components. And this is really big. I preach to this a lot. It's not. Bigger is always better. Right. Topline revenue doesn't always cure all, but bigger people, more people, bigger office. There's this image of successful entrepreneurship that is almost Wolf of Wall street, like, right? Big office, 100 people on the phones, big thing, big operation. Right. But I also. Now, after I've had 23 years of being an entrepreneur, more often than not, bigger is not better. And staying small to keep it all tends to win the day right? Now, that is not the rhetoric for everybody, but I think it's the rhetoric people need to think about, because I would tell Tim, Justin, and everyone else listening, it's about actually creating your financial freedom for yourself above all else. And then what does that mean for you? What does that look like for you? Tim's financial freedom and Justin's financial freedom could be totally far off. Right. And that's okay. Tim might want, you know, or need or. Or want to have $5 million a year income as a fake example. Right? That might be his. Like, this is where I need to be. This is what I need to build. Okay. But then also take on the stresses of having to go build that operation. Right? So what you just said really hits a tone with me because I believe most people should be entrepreneurs to some level, but they need to get clear on what they're actually doing it for.

[Tim Grimes]

Yes. Yeah, exactly.

[Justin Colby]

That's like someone is jumping into this and dealing. Let's get in a little bit of the tactical, practical side of what you do.

[Tim Grimes]

Sure.

[Justin Colby]

I'VE built multiple businesses. Many of them have stressed me out. No more than just even in 2020 for my real estate business that I've built for 20 years. You know, bad scenario, bad person. Things went south, it's now created more and more stress. How do you get, how do you advise entrepreneurs to get through whether they're small stresses, anxiety driven things, maybe they're big. What are some tactical things people can start doing?

[Tim Grimes]

Yeah, well, we'll go over first like the, the stuff that we hear all the time, which is important and then we'll go over stuff you don't hear all the time. Yeah, stuff you hear all the time that's valid and the reason we hear it all the time is because it's valid is even if you're working hard, try to find things that relax you to do each day. You know, whether that's taking a walk, working out, taking a hot shower, just giving yourself some time and prioritize that. Say, you know, tell yourself this is just as important as, you know, other parts of my day. I don't get to neglect these relaxation activities. I do. And listen, that can also. It doesn't have to be some highfalutin thing that could just be watching, you know, baseball on tv, whatever and having a beer like.

[Justin Colby]

But let, let me ask you this just because you're talking about something everyone's already heard. One of the things that I do to de stress myself, I actually wake up earlier in the morning so I can get my priorities out of the way for the most part. Reading, journaling, going to the gym and honestly just sitting and drinking a cup of coffee in total quiet without kids, with wife business. This emails on like that is actually my way of doing what you're suggesting is just finding me time. And I try to do it before the day gets going because otherwise next thing you know is 6 o' clock and I didn't find any me time.

[Tim Grimes]

Yeah, with, with especially with kids and family. I feel like that I'm the same way. I mean I try to get my me time is early because I don't know if I'm going to find it later in the day. But that's again that's just you and I and everybody is, is different. But it's, it's finding pockets like that and again prioritizing it because you say oh, it's not as important as this other thing I have to do today. Big picture. Maybe it is. Maybe it's more important is carving out that space because if you don't take that for yourself, it starts to add up. And your baseline level of stress, if you don't have these daily activities that relax you and then make you feel fulfilled in some way, even if they are seemingly superficial, like again, watching sports or whatever. If you don't have that, your baseline level of stress increases and I would argue your decision making becomes a little bit less sharp and that will affect your business. So let's not just think that these are some minor things now, bringing that into stuff you don't hear as much. And you touched upon this in terms of your morning activities. And also my morning activities are similar too. Something I recommend a lot. I wrote a book called Money, you, Friend a couple years ago. I think we'll have a link in the description for a free copy they can get if people want that money your friend. In that book, I talk about giving yourself time each day, at least for. Just do this for 30 days, for instance. That's what we talk about in the book. Give yourself 10, 15 minutes to think, what do I want? What do I want? Just think about it and then write down whatever comes to your mind and then reflect on what that means. Not in some weird in your head way, but is this more about peace or success, fulfillment, integrity? What is the thing that I just wrote down? And it can be anything. What does that actually mean? And then just when you get in that frame of mind in that kind of contemplative, relaxed, contemplative state, what do I want? Just sit there with that for like 10 minutes. What do I want? What do I want? Because that plays into exactly what you were saying. A lot of us realize that what we think we need, we don't need to be the Wolf of Wall Street. But in the back of our mind, as crazy as it seems, part of us still believes that, oh, we should be this way. And this doesn't just happen to beginning entrepreneurs. This happens to us all the time, right? Because we succeed or we reach new goals and then we think, well, I have to do this next thing. And the question is, do you like, why are you doing the next thing? Do you want to. What do I really want? And another question you could ask alongside it is why?

[Justin Colby]

Why?

[Tim Grimes]

So I advocate is basically a daily practice or something you can play with, giving yourself 10, 15 minutes to think about what do I want and why, and just relax into that. This is not like a critical thinking exercise. This is a relaxation exercise. We're not looking for any, like, we're not trying to be brilliant here. We're actually Utilizing our imagination when we do this. And it's almost like having a daydream, except it's focused because we're. We're. We're there. We're there with it. You know, if you make this a habit, it changes your outlook because it change. You just realize more what's really important to you, you know, because it's not what we think a lot of the time.

[Justin Colby]

Yeah. You know, I've done a lot of studying around psychology and money and success, and, you know, just. I'm a student of the game. It is partly why I even do these podcasts, because I always want to be able to learn more from you guys, my guests. Right. Um, and I really have seen within myself and then a lot of other people who I've gotten close to, their childhood and how they were raised is very connected to what they want or perceive what they want. Right. And so it changes how they go after money. It also, again, in my case. Right. Is the classic I'm not worthy. Right. That I was brought up in childhood, as I had a tough childhood. And then how does that take shape in my adult life? And then to show others that I am worthy because the things that I have that, you know, aesthetically would show, like, look what I've done, which is just ego. Right. It's just showing everyone, look, I'm worthy. Look what I've been able to do. So my habitual way of spending money can. Can kind of show that off. But really, if you dial that back in, as you're a therapist, that actually is more stemmed in my childhood than anything else. Right. And so I think when you ask these questions, my hope is people take it very serious and stay connected to it, because the older I've gotten, I'm sure you're the same, Tim. Like, now what I really want is the memories with my children when they're little, because someday they won't be little and someday they're not going to want to hang out in Disney World and stuff. So now my money desire shifted from the things, but also now it's really meant, like, when I make money, it is being utilized to create memories above all else. And so that's what I really want. Now in my phase now when my kids go off to school and they're not in the house and okay, maybe I go back to the. To the things. Right. But I think some people need to understand this at a very deep level. But you said it perfectly. Stay connected. Do you. Do you find a lot of people that you work with? Or a lot of kind of the public as a whole, they're very superficially going about practices like this. They say, yeah, yeah, Tim, yeah, I know, I know what I want. I want to be fucking rich, Tim. And you go, what does that mean? You know what I mean?

[Tim Grimes]

Of course. I mean, that's the whole thing. And that's not just in this entrepreneurial space. This is like, you know, I'm pretty big in like the spiritual self improvement space too. And when people talk about raising their frequency or being in a certain aligned state, it's the same thing. That's ego. And you pointed at when we're doing the big boy, big girl work. And again, this is what money your friend is really about. And it's like, I'm looking at money, my relationship with money, almost all of us. What does it come back to? So much of this? The uncomfortable feelings. Fear and shame. Fear and shame. And so that's like, that's the other side of the coin of like, what do I want? It's like, why do I want it? Oh, this is because of, you know, know how I felt like I wasn't good enough when I was younger, how I felt. I did not feel safe unless I proved my value by. By doing something in a certain way, right? How I can never win the approval of, you know, my parent or my peers unless, you know, and so I, I had to compensate by doing a certain thing. And so really my work, when we get deep, which is not what it's not about like getting rich. Like really, when, like when we get deep about it, it's like, okay, like I, I want to look at that fear, I want shame or whatever we want to call it, but those big feelings and realize, oh, this is not what I thought. This feeling is actually trying to tell me something. And in my opinion, usually it's usually trying to actually help us. That's. That's the big thing.

[Justin Colby]

That's the alignment part, right? The alignment of, of if you feel the uncomfortability, if you feel like you're still not happy and you just made a million dollars, whatever the case is, then you gotta lean into like, why, like I thought this is. And by the way, I am a perfect example of someone who's like, I, I'm sleeping on a couch, I can't pay my own bills, I just want to make a hundred grand a year. Like, oh my God, like it would be life if I could get to 100 grand a year. God, right, okay, well then I hit 100 grand a year. And then totally unsatisfied. Didn't change anything in my life. Right? Okay, like, then I gotta go make a quarter million dollars a year. Like, I got. Like, God, if I can get. And then I hit it. And then it just. The goal post just kept getting pushed to the point where there was just no level of satisfactory amount of income at some point. Right? God, if I could just make a million dollars. God, I got. And then you do it and you go, okay, well, now I need. Now I want to ask this very specific question to what I'm saying. This goal post keeps getting pushed. I believe at my age, 44, technically a millennial. Technically, by the rule of the dates, I grew up with no Internet until I was. I don't. Whatever 10, right. There's no smartphones. There's no. So I believe part of the continued desire for more is the continued opportunity to see others who have more and just desire what they have. Well, if he could do it, I want it too. Oh, well, so and so is driving this car. So and so just bought this house. So and so's doing six vacations a year. And I can see it now. We're. Prior to Instagram, TikTok and everything else on the planet, people didn't really have that realization. Right. Unless it was the close friends. Friends that you hung out with and you knew what car they drove. Do you believe that a lot of this continued desire and unhappiness for more and making money and, you know, I need to show that I've done this. Do you believe a lot of this? Some of this. None of this has to do with today's world being so online and so accessible.

[Tim Grimes]

Good question. I do think it shifted something. I don't think the underlying psychology has changed, but I do think, like, I think the desire and the feeling of having to keep up and inferiority shame, that's always been there, right? But it's got a different lens now because if you go on Instagram or wherever, it's very easy to think, well, all these people are doing it. Everyone's doing it. Like, this is so easy. I should, you know, like this. Why can't I do it? And it. That's an illusion. That illusion is new. It used to be back in our. You know, I'm 45. Like, it back in our day, like, you know, there were. You didn't know all the famous entrepreneurs, you know what I'm saying? This was a totally different ball game. Like, now everyone has got their profile, they're taking photos or whatever. Like so you know, everything in their life. And I think that creates a gigantic misperception of what is actually going on. So it's, I don't know, I don't have like a, a deep answer to that. But I do think it's more easy than ever to get confused because the process is, is explained in many ways worse than before. Like, because before it was like, oh, you know, I know I'm going to have to work hard and there's going to be a lot that I have to just learn by doing. And I don't know, I feel like it's easier to have the idea that you don't have to do that now because you see all these quote unquote fast assesses or whatever and yeah, who knows what's true or what? I don't know, it's a different, different ball game in terms of that stuff.

[Justin Colby]

Well, then you lean into the people who are trying to be the comparative, right? Like Tim did this and he made it fast, so I need to go make it fast. So I'm gonna go right. But then for not everyone, the same results don't go into everyone. Right. And so I say that to just say, then the stress and anxiety come about, what am I doing wrong? Am I a failure? Do I suck? Goes back to the fear and the shame. Am I even worthy? Da da da da da. And then the stress. So I want to kind of take this moment now to lean into what are the non common practices that you talked about that people can start to lean into when you're feeling away, when you're not in alignment. And this is like, what are the non common things that you would suggest? People need to start to listen, to see, do practice, to counteract it. I mean, listen, life is. Being a parent is stressful, right. It is the biggest joy, but probably the biggest stressor for me, right. Like I am a people pleaser and I want to be an incredible dad, but also an incredible moment. Husband to my wife, but also I run businesses and how do I manage all that? Like, because I want to make sure my children are the priority, which becomes the stressor of all the other things that I also want to be able to do. Well.

[Tim Grimes]

Yep. Yeah. So I think what we can, we can start to do is we can look at these uncomfortable feelings. So, you know, a big buzzword now is somatic, right? And I'm, I'm, I'm a somatic based counselor in the sense where that's just a fancy word for going into the body. Right. So we're not always looking for solutions to our problems, including our psychological issues with, you know, using a mental modality, we're using our body just as much. We're feeling into them. Right. So I think again, spending time looking at like that stress you feel and kind of identifying, okay, where is this? Like I feel this in my chest, for instance. Okay, like what's, what's going on here? Not looking for a rational answer, but just kind of being with it, being with that feeling. And you can ask it like gently, like, what do you want? Can I do anything for you? Giving yourself space, your body space like this. Your body will tell you crazy stuff if you do that. It won't necessarily be fast. A lot of times it is. But if you relate to your body differently and aren't so in your head all the time and realize that your body is processing stuff at probably a different pace than your, your mind, and you give yourself the space for the body to process stuff and, and not beat yourself up for it feeling the way it does, that's a game changer in my experiences.

[Justin Colby]

Someone's feeling stuck right now.

[Tim Grimes]

Yep.

[Justin Colby]

What is the simplest way they can make a shift?

[Tim Grimes]

Like today, the simplest way is probably to get to go outside and go to their car or whatever and start honking the horn and screaming and moving around. Getting really physical. Quite honestly, I've been into that stuff for years. I did a video series called Stop being serious like 15 years ago. Getting really active, really, really active with the body. And you realized how non mental most of this stuff is. You're your body just as much as your mind. That will create a shift, but it won't. Nothing you do in a day will create a lasting shift. That's the whole problem, you know, getting back to Instagram and social media. Listen, one of my suggestions is get off it. I mean, get off it is what it comes down to. You know, we need it for business and we need it for. If there's certain things you genuinely like, great. But you do not want to be comparing yourself to others when it comes to this stuff, usually unless you genuinely like it. Does this make me feel good when I'm taking it in? If it doesn't, why am I on it? Right. See, when people compare themselves to others, they're distracting themselves from why I'm feeling the way I feel about myself right now. It always comes back down to me, me, me. What is the concept I hold of myself? Why, like, why do I feel this way? And that's an inside job. Does that make Sense when I talk

[Justin Colby]

about it like that 100, I mean everything's internal, I believe. So I'm in alignment with you. But I've also done a whole lot of therapy because my childhood and so I believe what you believe and I believe, you know, funny. So I run these communities. The entrepreneur DNA is a community for entrepreneurs, you know, early stage entrepreneurs to, to know small businesses and a lot of times their challenges. I, I use something because I'm not a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist or anything. I just like I'll give you the best Tony Robbins I got. Right. But you still got to go do the work yourself because you know there's this whole world of like the comparative world I think is so tough on us these days that am I doing it right? Should I be doing this? The should yourself to death type of thing? Should I? Should I, Should I, should I? You gotta look internally more often than not. It's very subjective. Should you, that's, should you? I, I can't tell you. You should or shouldn't. Right. And so I, it totally makes sense to me and people need to look inside and that is why I use my morning ritual to really do that. Funny enough that the times like this week for example has been chaotic. I've been traveling very limited amount of me time. Right. It is go, go, go, get to the airport, wake up at 3:30, pack your bat. That are meetings and then very little. And I can tell even today my energy's off. Not that I don't have energy for you. I just know where I'm at when I'm you know, under a rhythm of waking up at 4:30 and drinking my coffee and writing and journaling and getting the gym by five. I know that feeling versus the feeling I have right now. I'm very aware of that. Right. And I believe most people need to lean into their own feelings because if it's in alignment, do more of it and if it's not, don't. I want to bring up the hustle society that we have right now. Right. So if you had to pick, would you say hustle harder or relax more, which actually is going to make someone more money?

[Tim Grimes]

Well, this might be a surprising answer because I wrote a book called Relax More, Try Less. Uh, it was back in 2015 so, and you know that was about, it was a lot of my just own stuff but it was about a, a famous kind of spiritual self improvement teacher called Neville Goddard who was saying how important your imagination is. And you can really only access your imagination effectively by relaxing more so with that being said, if your focus is just on making a lot of money, I mean, if your focus truly is on making a lot of money, if you grind more, you're probably going to make more money, you know? But it comes back to what we've been discussing this whole time, which is, is that really what you want? And also, even if you do grind a lot, do you find. Are there ways you can temper that each day? I'm not an advocate of. I'm not a. I've never been a grinder, but, you know, I've worked with a lot of grinders. Yeah. I mean, it's people who really grind. I just hope that they're looking at some of the stuff that we're talking about during this episode, because it's like, in short, why, why, why, why? It is cool.

[Justin Colby]

I wrote it down. You even said. You said, what do I want and why. Yeah, and the only thing I was going to add to that is I was going to say ask why, like, seven times.

[Tim Grimes]

Right, Exactly.

[Justin Colby]

I read that somewhere. Like, literally seven.

[Tim Grimes]

Yeah, that's why. Like in that. The book money your friend, I say sit with it for 10 minutes, because that's basically the same thing. Keep on asking it set, you know, keep like. Just keep like, like, why? Why? Because it might not come right away. And if you do that every day, you're going to figure out if you really want to grind or not or. You know, I think most of us know there's going to be times where you're busier than other times. Right. And there's. There's weeks that are crazier than other weeks, but that's different than just having the balls to the wall mentality all the time. That's just not very sustainable for most people. From what I've seen.

[Justin Colby]

I would. I'm gonna make an argument that I don't know these people and, like, there's a handful of people I know that their personal lives go to hell. Right. Like, you hear.

[Tim Grimes]

That's what you always hear. Exactly. When I speak to other coaches and stuff that work. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

[Justin Colby]

How many billionaires have multiple wives and all these other things? And. And it's disproportionate. Right. And I don't know all these billionaires, so I'm not going to speak to them. I just. You do see the people that do have the mentality of, I'm going to hustle until I make the thing. The. The billion, whatever. And then what are they sacrificing personally to get there? And that's where this is very subjective. To your point, if you just want to make more money. When I asked that question, it would have been my answer too. If you just want to make God loads of money and go huge, then the only way to do that is hustle your face off, like grind until you can't physically do it anymore. But then why do you want to go do that? Like to me, a buddy, Ed Mylet, everyone knows him, but he talks about these three, three days in a day, which I really, really like because he's able to kind of really go for it for a short, shorter period, essentially.

[Tim Grimes]

Yeah.

[Justin Colby]

Take this moment of relax, do the thing, then go for it again. Take the moment. I love that concept. Right. He breaks his day up into three six hour days. So I think people need to understand some of this. There's. It is very subjective, but some of it is, you know, making a fake number, like a million dollars doesn't really do anything unless that is actually what you're doing it for. Right. If you need to go pay your mom's health bills, fine. Right, Got it. If you're just doing it because you saw someone on Instagram who can go do it, then why are you doing that? I want to lean into that. Is. Is what you do. What I believe in, like the self improvement actually make people more anxious and less successful. Right. Because it tells you to calm down. Figure out your why be in a state of calm? So does self improvement actually make people more anxious and less successful because they're not in the grind and hustle mode anymore?

[Tim Grimes]

Yeah, I mean, this is something that's been difficult for me because I initially thought, oh, this is gonna, you know, self improvement, this kind of stuff is gonna make me more productive and, you know, it's gonna make me more aligned and more successful. And that's not necessarily the case. I think that sometimes we become too passive. That's the whole thing. I'm all about relaxing and giving yourself space. But if you become too enamored with kind of processing your own stuff, you're probably not taking enough external action and you're probably not setting up the systems and structure that you need to succeed as well as you would like, this is something that's. I've really hit home for me the last couple of years because for me as a writer and then doing counseling, I flew by the seat of my pants until I had my first kid. And even when I had my first kid, I was still kind of flying by the seat of my pants. Then we had Our second kid. And I was like, holy shit, I know I can't fly by the seat of my pants anymore. And I realized so much of the stuff that I used to believe about. Oh, just relax. You'll find your inspiration, you'll find your groove. It doesn't necessarily add up because like, what I found is like, for instance, I was producing a lot of good content when I was doing that, but I hadn't set up the systems or the structure in terms of my business to have it scale successfully.

[Justin Colby]

There you go.

[Tim Grimes]

And that's kind of, I feel like what you're touching at with that question. So I've really experienced that personally. Self improvement is great, but it can be too much navel gazing. Um, and it can make us Never

[Justin Colby]

heard that it could be too much navel gazing.

[Tim Grimes]

Well, it's like, isn't navel, navel gazing what you're looking at? Your, your belly button, I think, right? No, I, I, I think it's like people, people get, I get that might have been that phrase just came out. I just go with, you know, with the rhythm of what I'm saying.

[Justin Colby]

I love it.

[Tim Grimes]

But the, it can be where we're two, we're trying to refine ourselves too much. Oh, am I in, you know, am I properly aligned? Am I doing this? And like, no one gives a shit. Like at the, like, if you're serving people like knowing like they, you have to provide value to them, right? And so like, obviously you want to be accountable for yourself and be providing value, but like, if you're over obsessing about your own stuff, in all likelihood you're not going to be performing as well for others in your, in your business, if that makes sense. I mean, it does make sense. I think I simplified it there. Overly simplified it. But that's the fine line with all this self improvement stuff. And that's why there's been a lot of pushback on self improvement the last couple years. Because we're seeing more and more of kind of what we're discussing here with that.

[Justin Colby]

You said it. Right? I was trying to catch it as you said it. You said something. Self improvement. You didn't say lazy versus like being too lackadaisical.

[Tim Grimes]

Yes.

[Justin Colby]

Yeah, I loved that word when you just said that. I'm literally going to write it down right now because it is a challenge I have. Again, I come from a school of thought that you teach. Right. This is what I believe. But there is this fine line, right? It's the same argument people make about

[Tim Grimes]

manifesting yeah, and that's, I mean that's what that's. So much of my clientele is people into manifesting and that's the problem in that space all the time. They just want all the time.

[Justin Colby]

Like yeah, you sit and you imagine this incredible boat or this amazing woman and you sit in your four walls. Exactly how in the do you think you're gonna go achieve the boat or the woman if you don't go do something? So the reason why I love passive is by definition it's like inactive. Right? You're not doing the thing and, and brother, I don't know if you have the answer if I do. But like what is the right answer? Like how much activity needs to be done to be able to believe in and utilize self improvement, become better, become more at peace, remove stress and remove anxiety. But also like you can't just sit on your couch either, right?

[Tim Grimes]

I've been telling, saying this Carl Rogers quote, I'll paraphrase it here a lot. Carl Rogers was a great therapist in like the 1950s. He said, the curious paradox is it's only when I accept myself fully that I'm capable of change. And what I take from that is these ideas, these self improvement ideas, even these manifestation ideas usually should be used so we can learn to accept ourselves more fully. But that's to the extent we should use them. Once we feel acceptance of ourselves fully, we gotta go out there and take action. And this is not a one time thing, this is a continual thing because we do stuff each day where I'm like, oh, should I have done that? I feel bad about that. I could have done that differently. So we gotta clean. We have to accept ourself fully to the best of our ability. And that's where these self improvement tools, looking within journaling, meditation, all these other great things, all these other great tools can be utilized. But if that is what you're focusing on is all these techniques and shit and not taking action, generally speaking, you're going to be screwed. I mean this is. You've probably not had a guest on like me in this way because I am still very active in the manifestation space. Because that's, you know, I've written a lot of books on manifestation ideas, even though I'm more down to earth about it than most people who talk about those ideas. But I have found the last couple years I've just been kind of shocked when I look soberly at myself and with many people I've spoken to and worked with over the years, how ineffective manifestation and even Self improvement concepts and techniques. Like we're talking about visualization, affirmation, self talk, journaling, all these great tools, how ineffective they are unless action and structure are part of our daily just that's what we do. That's our default. If your default is just I'm going to visualize and fly by the seat of my pants, you're going to survive and that's cool, right? Maybe that's all you want. That's maybe Tom Cruise and Cocktail, right? But it's going to be hard for you to build. And I think you hear exceptions to that. Those are those crazy success stories you hear, but those are exceptions. And it's marketed on Instagram just like this business stuff where the exceptions are the rule. Oh, this guy, you know, he unbelievably got $10 million. He's 24 years old. Like, you know, he did this one thing and the implication is, oh, you can replicate that. And I'm here to say, excuse my language, but no you fucking can't, motherfucker. Those people are lying to you. And social media is rife with that. I mean, that's again, get off social media. Except for, I mean, shows like this, educative shows are different, you know, stuff you like is different, but otherwise you compare yourself to these false ideals, false idols. It's nothing to do with running a business and being fulfilled.

[Justin Colby]

Well, there's two things you bring up that I think really take a good, really closes this episode. Comparison is like the root of all evil to me. I got caught in comparison in a really big way. I have been blessed in my career now to be sitting at some really amazing tables with some really amazing business people and I find myself comparing, like why, why have I not reached where we're at here? Like why can't I? What? You know, and then you start acting and taking action in a way to get there, but you don't really know how to do that in a very successful way yet. And that can bite you in the ass, right? So the comparison model can really sting. But the other part that I really think is important is self improvement can be great if you actually take action towards growing right in, in thriving. Because the comparison model is, I want to make a million dollars. Why I haven't made a million dollars yet. I'm gonna go self improve. And next, you know, I'm sitting on my couch, there's this fine line, right? Like you gotta understand a basic principle that Tim, you just mentioned. You have to continue moving forward and taking action while at the very Same time being cognizant in helping yourself, being the best version of yourself. And I think that's so important, especially when talking about this whole episode holistically. Like, the comparison on social media is insane. Get off social media if you're too caught up in that. But also, like, this whole I'm gonna go manifest and I'm gonna go self improve myself into success. That is just as bad on social media.

[Tim Grimes]

Oh, it's awful.

[Justin Colby]

And I don't know where the rhetoric comes from. I'd like quick buck people.

[Tim Grimes]

Make a quick buck off it. I mean, there's a sucker born every minute, that type of thing. Yeah, it's crazy.

[Justin Colby]

What would you want to leave, you know, what would you want to leave our audience with right now? People who are going through stress, anxiety, they want more. They know they're deserving of more. They know they're meant for more.

[Tim Grimes]

I'd leave them with, you're all right right now and just keep going. Don't beat yourself up. You're okay as you are. And just keep on trusting in yourself and keep on doing what you know you need to do. Again, that Carl Rogers quote, the curious paradox is, it's only when I accept myself fully that I can change. That's no joke. That guy was a smart guy. What that means is, you're okay right now. You're okay right now. Right. And you want to get better at business or improve these things, that's fine. Do it. It's great. But you're okay right now. Not only are you doing the best you can, but you genuinely are okay right now. And, Justin, like you said, if you think you make that million dollars and everything's gonna shift, it's not. It's more realizing I'm okay right now. I like who I am as a person internally right now. And I'm going to go out and make these external shifts because I want to. I want to do my best to try to do that. But regardless, I'm okay.

[Justin Colby]

That's so great. Now your book is going to be left in the comments. It's going to be linked everywhere on this episode. Talk a little bit about your book as we wrap up.

[Tim Grimes]

Yeah, money, you, friend. I wrote it at the end of 2023. I just think listeners will like it because it's about changing our relationship with money. It's about what we talked about in this episode. It's about kind of asking what you really want and why you want it and relaxing into thinking about that and realizing that you don't have to have a great relationship with money. I always say, if you can improve your relationship with money. So, like a lot of people, I think are 80% negative about money, just subconsciously, if we can get it. So we're only 40, 45% negative. That's a huge improvement. You know what I mean? So hopefully that book will help folks do that. Yeah. So I, it, you know, I think it could be helpful for people and if people have questions, they can reach out to me in regards to it.

[Justin Colby]

All right, everybody, this is Tim Grimes. The money will, the, the book itself will be linked everywhere in between. And if you listen to this and you join the community, the entrepreneur DNA, the community that is built from this podcast, I will personally buy you a book. All you have to do is direct message me in the community and say, hey, I heard Tim's podcast. That's why I'm here. I will buy you the book myself and so you can actually have a copy. And so, Tim, I appreciate you, brother.

[Tim Grimes]

Thank you so much, Justin. Great call. Really, really appreciate it. I hope you're very welcome. People get something out of it.

[Justin Colby]

Tim Grimes, I'm Justin Colby. This is the entrepreneur DNA. We'll see you in the community. Go to theentrepreneurdna.com join the community, be a part of it. People like Tim and many of my guests come in and continue advise their expertise. We'll see you in there. We'll see you on the next episode. Peace.

[Tim Grimes]

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[Tim Grimes]

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[Tim Grimes]

If you like the show, please take a moment to rate, review and subscribe. It really does help the show to grow. Thank you for listening.