Mindset Matters - Episode #169 - The Resilience Blueprint: Five Traits to Become Unstoppable

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Everyday Millionaire Episode: Mindset Matters - Episode #169 - The Resilience Blueprint: Five Traits to Become Unstoppable
Host: Patrick Francey
Guest: Stephanie Hanlon (Patrick's wife and Olympic Mental Performance Coach)
Release Date: January 23, 2025

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Introduction: Embracing the Power of Words

The episode opens with Patrick Francey and his wife, Stephanie Hanlon, delving into the profound impact of mindset on personal and professional success. They emphasize the significance of language in shaping one's reality, setting the stage for a deep exploration of resilience—a cornerstone trait for becoming unstoppable.

Defining Resilience

Stephanie Hanlon initiates the conversation by defining resilience, stating at [06:41]:

"Resilience is the ability to adapt, to recover and thrive in the face of adversity, of challenges or significant stress. It encompasses the capacity to bounce back from difficulties, maintain emotional stability, and continue forward with determination and purpose, even when circumstances are tough."
— Stephanie Hanlon ([06:41])

Patrick Francey builds on this by likening resilience to a muscle that requires regular training to strengthen ([07:12]):

"I think the resilience is a muscle, and it needs to be trained."
— Patrick Francey ([07:12])

The Five Traits of Resilience

1. Adaptability

Adaptability is the ability to adjust to new environments and unexpected circumstances. The hosts discuss how maintaining flexibility allows individuals to conserve energy and avoid getting bogged down by challenges.

Stephanie emphasizes the importance of embracing change rather than resisting it ([08:11]):

"Are you able to adjust to those unexpected circumstances or does it shut you down and you're spending all your time burning up energy complaining?"
— Stephanie Hanlon ([08:11])

2. Empathy and Emotional Awareness

Empathy, often developed through personal adversity, is crucial for understanding and relating to others. Patrick shares anecdotes highlighting how overcoming challenges fosters compassion and self-awareness ([10:45]):

"People that are raised in a sense with a soft glove or a silver spoon... do they have empathy? They haven't really had to dig in and they don't have that compassion or that connection of what it takes to actually overcome something."
— Patrick Francey ([10:45])

Stephanie adds that even without direct experience, one can cultivate empathy through emotional intelligence ([12:39]):

"If you've never really faced big challenges that you've had to lean into and overcome, you don't have relatability to what that takes."
— Stephanie Hanlon ([12:39])

3. Support System

A robust support system—comprising family, friends, and community connections—is vital for resilience. They discuss how leaning on others during tough times can provide the necessary encouragement and assistance to rebuild and move forward ([16:18]).

Patrick underscores the importance of vulnerability in seeking help ([16:18]):

"Being resilient also means you can be vulnerable and surrender and ask for help."
— Patrick Francey ([16:18])

4. Purpose and Perspective

Having a clear purpose and maintaining a positive perspective help individuals navigate adversity with determination. The hosts highlight how setting goals and maintaining focus can drive progress even in challenging times.

Stephanie mentions the sense of accomplishment that comes from overcoming obstacles ([17:19]):

"Resilience is that you take a breath, crank your energy, know what you need to do to get handled and then move forward or step."
— Stephanie Hanlon ([17:19])

5. Managing Adversity

Effectively managing adversity involves proactive strategies to handle stress and setbacks. Patrick shares his approach of "manufacturing adversity" in training scenarios to prepare individuals for unexpected challenges ([20:10]):

"If we can only plan for so much... we have to leave room for the magic."
— Patrick Francey ([25:26])

Practical Ways to Build Resilience

Patrick and Stephanie discuss actionable strategies to cultivate resilience:

• Embrace Challenges: Actively seeking out and embracing challenges rather than avoiding them helps in developing problem-solving skills and emotional strength.

• Manufacture Adversity: In coaching athletes, Patrick creates simulated adverse conditions to prepare them for real-life setbacks, enhancing their ability to cope under pressure ([20:10], [22:14]).

• Develop Empathy: Facing personal adversity can deepen empathy, enabling better connections and support for others facing similar struggles.

• Strengthen Support Systems: Building and maintaining strong relationships provides a safety net during tough times, fostering a sense of belonging and security ([16:18]).

• Maintain Purpose: Keeping a clear focus on personal goals and maintaining a positive outlook can help navigate through difficult periods with determination and resilience ([17:19]).

Concluding Thoughts: Balancing Preparation and Flexibility

In wrapping up, Patrick ties back to the initial discussion on the power of words and the concept of magic in life, emphasizing the balance between preparation and flexibility. He advises preparing for the worst while expecting the best and leaving room for unforeseen magic ([25:26]):

"Prepare for the worst, expect the best, and leave some room for the magic."
— Patrick Francey ([25:26])

Stephanie echoes these sentiments, reinforcing the idea that resilience is not just about enduring hardships but also about thriving and growing through them.

Notable Quotes

• Stephanie Hanlon ([06:41]):
  "Resilience is the ability to adapt, to recover and thrive in the face of adversity, of challenges or significant stress."

• Patrick Francey ([07:12]):
  "I think the resilience is a muscle, and it needs to be trained."

• Patrick Francey ([10:45]):
  "People that are raised in a sense with a soft glove or a silver spoon... do they have empathy? They haven't really had to dig in and they don't have that compassion or that connection of what it takes to actually overcome something."

• Patrick Francey ([16:18]):
  "Being resilient also means you can be vulnerable and surrender and ask for help."

• Patrick Francey ([25:26]):
  "Prepare for the worst, expect the best, and leave some room for the magic."

Final Thoughts

In this episode of The Everyday Millionaire, Patrick Francey and Stephanie Hanlon provide a comprehensive blueprint for building resilience. Through insightful discussions and practical advice, they illuminate the five key traits essential for becoming unstoppable in the face of adversity. Listeners are encouraged to embrace challenges, cultivate empathy, strengthen their support systems, maintain a clear sense of purpose, and develop effective strategies for managing adversity—all of which contribute to a resilient and thriving mindset.

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Connect with the Hosts:
For more insights and transformative discussions, subscribe to The Everyday Millionaire podcast and join Patrick and Stephanie on their journey toward unlocking your greatest self and living your best life.

Transcript

[Patrick]

Foreign.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Welcome to this episode of the Everyday Millionaire Mindset Matters podcast, where I'm joined by my wife, Olympic mental performance coach Stephanie Hanlon. Francie. In these episodes, Stephanie and I have a conversation about the different aspects of what we refer to as Mindset Matters because we believe that for those who are awake, we are living in and through the most impactful time in history. Your view of the world is the filling filter for how you will experience the evolution and changing dynamics of it. Our intention is to provide you with ideas, nutritious food for thought, and some tools that you can use to help you in being your greatest self and living your best life. Listen in. Enjoy.

[Francie]

Stephanie.

[Patrick]

Hey, hon.

[Francie]

Abracadabra.

[Patrick]

Pardon me?

[Francie]

Abracadabra.

[Patrick]

Abracadabra?

[Francie]

Yeah. That's a magic word.

[Patrick]

It's a great word. I love that word.

[Francie]

Okay, so abracadabra. So interesting. I wanted to have a little bit of a chuckle, so I came across Peter Crone, and I've never listened to his stuff before, so it's interesting. So I happened to come across some of his stuff, and he used the word abracadabra and why he likes to. To use it and teach with it. So it has a human or, sorry, a Hebrew translation. So do you know what it is?

[Patrick]

It means something about bringing something into creation, something like that.

[Francie]

It's attached to that. So the Hebrew translation for abracadabra is as I speak, so I create. And that's meant to mean that we're human beings, and by virtue, that's like being a magician. The fact that we have a voice and that if we use it with clarity, with consciousness, with purpose, with intention, in Peter's world, you truly get to create the life that you want. Now, of course, both you and I align with that, and I'm sure that's why I picked up on it, but I didn't know that that's what abracadabra was all about. So abracadabra.

[Patrick]

Well, I've been called a witch more than once in my whole life, and I've always loved the word abracadabra. And open sesame. Open says me.

[Francie]

Open says me. Yeah.

[Patrick]

I love the English language. I really do.

[Francie]

I think that, you know, for me, is what I've started to. I don't know that I've started to. But what I really see when we're working and talking with people, and especially with. When we're in kind of coaching mode, is you can't hide behind language. So what we hear when people are speaking is probably different than most who are listening. If you're into that kind of coach mode, you're listening differently than if you're just having a conversation, I think, I don't know, I'm just giving that some thought. The point is, is that words are incredibly important.

[Patrick]

Well, they are. And they, and we can't, like you say, always say, you can't hide behind your words. And I think it gets a little bit deep when you really see how our words can limit us, but they also can create some very beautiful, not just the language, whether it's songs or poetry, prose, et cetera, but in the ability to use our words, as I think Peter Crone calls it, as our, as our wardrobe. It's how we present ourselves to the world as well. Right. So when you think about our words and our languaging and how to be so mindful, and then you go to the other extreme where, you know, you think about spelling, so you think of the word in the magical words we're learning to spell. So that's even in the magical realm too. Right. So I don't want to disrespect or, or dishonor some of the people who I, who I know listen to this, who are Christians and believe in the word of God and all those types of things and think that magic, for example, black is all black magic. But I think what we're talking about here is the ability to really connect and co create our reality and align that with the words that we use. We use goal getting all the time, goal setting values, all those things and those words have meaning. And I don't want to step over, you know, I don't want to step over that.

[Francie]

Just to your point about magic and man, have we gone off on a rabbit hole already, but are down a rabbit hole. And then not to be too distracted, but the point is that for me it's the magic of the universe, of consciousness, perhaps even the magic of God. The point being. And yes, Peter Drone does talk about our words as our wardrobe. And it's just a great, I don't know, metaphor, if you will, or analogy. And I loved it. So when I came across it, I thought I'd share it with you. That's not our word. Abracadabra is not our word that we're going to talk about a little bit.

[Patrick]

Well then why'd you open with that big cowboy?

[Francie]

Well, because I thought it was a fun word. Okay, so today, you know, we wanted to come up, we had a brief chat about resilience. And as we go into 2025. You know, we've come. You know, our theme was come alive in 25. But, you know, part of all of that is going to require some resilience, as it does in any time in life and any economic condition. But certainly with what's been going on the past four or five years, some people have built some great resilience qualities, others, not so much. But going forward, I think resilience. Thank you very much for talking. Resilience is an important word.

[Patrick]

Well, it is, and I think it means many different things to different people. I know that for me, in the emotional resilience space that I work in, I'm not a sports psychologist, and I think what gets confused a lot of times is mental focus, mental toughness, all those things. But what I'm really a specialist in now and what I really discovered and uncovered for the performance psychology is emotional resilience. And I think if we provide opportunities to have conversation about resilience in all seven areas of life, think about your physical resilience. What can you put up with? How hard can you push that boulder up the hill without needing it to move? You know, emotional resilience, what can you get through under. Under stressful times, how do you react? And in stressful situations, spiritual resilience, vocational resilience, financial resilience, relational resilience. I think about all the times and you and I have gone head to head and fought, but the fact that we both have such strong emotional, I think, and relational resilience with each other, we have something to lean on. So I'd love to be able to unpack that word a little bit more.

[Francie]

You know, it's interesting that, of course, how you took on the word. I was actually going to ask you what's your definition of resilience? Because what I did was I went and just pulled up a definition. So I want to share with you, but you are already well on the right path, by the way.

[Patrick]

Well, it's because I'm so smart.

[Francie]

You're so smart. Oh, my gosh. Okay. So resilience is the ability to adapt, to recover and thrive in the face of adversity, of challenges or significant stress. It encompasses the capacity to bounce back from difficulties, maintain emotional stability, and continue forward with determination and purpose, even when circumstances are tough. That's a pretty good description, I think.

[Patrick]

I think especially when circumstances are tough.

[Francie]

There you go.

[Patrick]

I think the resilience is a muscle, and it needs to be trained.

[Francie]

The muscle that needs to be trained. And I think that is where people get into trouble. But let's talk about some of the aspects or the qualities of resilience, if you will. So it goes back to kind of what used started with just a minute ago, but I'm going to expand on it a little bit. So resilience is also about adaptability, about self awareness, it is about your support system, it is about purpose and perspective. So those are all aspects of resilience. And now we can, you know, go down and unpack those if you want to do that. When you look at adaptability. So if you find yourself in a different environment, different circumstances, different conditions, are you able to adjust to those unexpected circumstances or does it shut you down and you're spending all your time burning up energy complaining?

[Patrick]

Yeah, good point. Well, the other thing I thought of, and I was thinking about it this morning when we were chatting, is that the, if, if you don't really have the opportunity in life to actually lean into headwinds or have to figure out, you know, how do I navigate adversity? How do embrace it and harness it to make sure that I am getting stronger? What happens if you don't have a lot of adversity in your life early on is that you don't grow the empathy muscle. And I thought that was really, really interesting. So, and I'm not saying that as an absolute because I don't have all the data, but ultimately when I think of the adversity that I've been through in my life and the decisions that I've made and, and how I tried to harness it and learn from it and not avoid it, you know, so, you know, they say you can go, you can't go around it, you can't go under it, you can't go above it, you have to go through it in order to grow. And it's the same thing with muscles when you're working out, like the adversity of the muscle when you're lifting the weight, tears the muscle down, which actually builds the muscular strength. Right. So there's times in the athletes that I work with or certain clients that, you know, they'll go through months or, you know, half a season or whatever without a lot of adversity or maybe they're winning everything. I actually have to then slow them down and create or manufacture some adversity so that, and I don't tell them this, but that, so they have something to work through. It's very interesting. I bring in adversity training into all of my resilience training.

[Francie]

Well, it's, you know, you, I think you Nailed it. Because part of resilience that you go through is, is the use of the muscle. But if you don't use it, you know, use it or lose it. And you know, what goes back to the, of course, the quote or the meme, if you will. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And if you don't have problems to solve, you never really develop the problem solving skills. And the problem solving skills, by the way, remember, you know, require connecting the dots, working backwards from the outcome, building a team, creating and surrounding yourself with the right people and how you address those challenges. So ultimately, for me, when you think about resilience, I think you nailed it. You have to build that muscle. So as much as we want everything to be easy, this once again highlights the fact that when you have these challenges, it's for the better. But before we get down another path, if you will, I want to go back to the comment that you made about empathy. How does this fit into resilience? What is, you know, if we don't, if we're not resilient? What I heard you say is you don't see us necessarily having empathy or developing apathy, whatever that might be. What, what do you mean by that?

[Patrick]

Well, it's a bit of a paradox. And the way I've seen it show up over time and I, and I, I guess I don't have, also don't have any data on this, but I only have the anecdotal evidence that I've had over the last 20 or 30 years with people. I find that people that are raised in a sense with a soft glove or a silver spoon, or they really, their parents maybe have pulled them out of something or taken them out of sport if they think they're going to get hurt, or they don't really let them go through pressure or stress, or they don't learn competition because everybody gets a red ribbon or, you know, there's no real chance to stretch into that. So what I've discovered over time, when I, when I really break down and go into the background and the history of some of the people I work with, and I find that that's the case, I do find they have a little bit of a kind of an attitude of like, what's your problem? You know, get over it. What's going on in your life? Like, get over it. So that's what I mean by having a less function of empathy because they haven't really had to dig in and they don't have that compassion or that connection of what it takes to actually overcome something. So in many ways I. This is going to sound really weird, but I would rather work with an athlete or a client who has had to overcome some adversity because I know they have a high level compassion of self awareness of maybe some empathy for others and what they're going through. And they don't have that block when it comes to, I don't know, maybe one. The one comment that keeps coming to my mind when I think about this is I had one client say to me that when they were talking about something that one of their family members was going through, I think it was the death of somebody or, you know, something had happened and they were like, I can't, I can't believe she just can't get over it. And I guess on some levels it could lead to stoicism, but on this particular indication with this person, it was definitely a lack of empathy. And I was able to equate it to not having a lot of adversity that they'd ever had to go through. So they didn't have that resilience or that understanding or compassion for others. That's what I meant by that.

[Francie]

I think it's helpful too, that in an empathy kind of way, if there's some relatability so you've never experienced what that person's experienced before, you can probably have a heart and have some empathy, even if you don't necessarily understand it or relate to it because you've never been through it. Having said that, if you've never really faced big challenges that you've had to lean into and overcome, you don't have relatability to what that takes. You know, the, you know, the eq, the emotional quotient that you have to have, or the emotional regulation that somebody who has great resilience, how they show up. And that's all part of it, I think as well.

[Patrick]

Well, you know, I think about it right now and while we're filming this podcast, it's like, what's going on in California with the fires, you know, and the, and the footage that's coming out. And I mean, we don't watch the news, but in a lot of the feeds that I'm seeing coming through my socials, it's devastating. And there's people that are, have lost everything. And we're not talking, you know, a little bit, we're talking a lot, a bit of people who have millions and millions and millions of dollars invested in their houses or their businesses. All of Santa Monica's wiped out. I mean, we have friends down there and I'm. I haven't heard about them actually, so I'm starting to get a little bit worried. And ultimately, what are they going to have to go through? Think about it, what type of personality is going to navigate and survive this kind of adversity, this kind of devastation? And especially if they haven't.

[Francie]

Yeah, I think there's a. And there's lots of anger, you know, money aside, I mean, these areas, many of these areas that are burning down are, you know, very wealthy. Having said that, it's still millions of dollars. And I think, you know, any kind of interviews I've seen have been, you know, maybe of some of the Hollywood stars that have got wiped out. They're mostly really hit. Not the dollars and cents of it aren't the conversation they're generally leading with, they're leading with the memories, they're leading with the fact that the family were raised there, they had keepsakes. And you know, whether it be works of art or, you know, irreplaceable books or whatever the story is, my point is, is that there is an emotional attachment to that of years of work and hard work and memories that get wiped out in a fire. So I don't think anybody can minimize that or downplay.

[Patrick]

And I'm thinking about the animals and the pets and the wildlife and, you know, how that whole terrain is going to change and you know, the. Just the compassion. Like I've never been through a fire and knock wood, I'm never going to and in that regard, but I can still have a huge amount of empathy and compassion and, you know, and yeah, do what I can to, to help or support. I mean, but it cracks me up and all of a sudden I'm seeing on social media sending love and prayers, you know, little heart emojis or whatever. I mean, that's not helpful. I mean, it.

[Francie]

Maybe it is. So next part of resilience is a support system. So interestingly enough, as we talk about, you know, what's been happening and what's gone on leading up to today around the LA fires, you know, that's just one example of the people that will need to tap into a support system. Hopefully there's family, chosen family, there's friends, there's some way to find accommodations as you go through the rebuilding process. Can you rebuild? How long will that take? I mean, there's a lot of things that play into that. So a support system, and that's just one example, is really about being resilient and in leveraging your relationships and the community connections that you have for whatever encouragement or assistance or support that you need. That's resilience.

[Patrick]

Yeah, it is. But you know what else is resilience is asking for help. I, I know many people that, that I deeply care about do not know how to ask for help. You know, I've seen you in a grocery store with a list and you know, running back and down the aisle and not knowing how to ask for help, just like what, let me take half the list, you know. So being resilient also means you can be vulnerable and surrender and ask for help. So the people that are, that are going through what they're going through, whether they're Hollywood stars or just regular folks like you and I, or I mean, I'm sure there's just every walk of life and it's going to bring humanity, I hope, together to see that we are all connected and we're all, you know, the human, the human factor really is the piece that, that really pulls at my heart. But ultimately if we can't ask for help, if we, if we have a circle of support, for example, but we don't know how to access it or we don't want to show weakness thinking we need support, I mean that also is resilience, is knowing that you can ask and having the courage to ask.

[Francie]

For help a hundred percent. So when we think about resilience, you know, think about the individuals that we know. I think for the most part I feel I'm pretty resilient. But you know, we don't know until we face something that, where we're going to get tested perhaps. But having said that, I don't know that I avoid challenges. I think there's, that's a quality of somebody who has resilience is that they trust the resilience so they'll lean into challenges and you know, face whatever stress might be out there because either you know that it's going to do you good, you'll learn a lot, you'll grow a lot and, or you'll have that sense of accomplishment, of progress which we talked about on one of our shows. So that's part of being resilient. Maybe something business wise happens, somebody gets laid off in their job, how do you handle the situation? You know, resilience is, is that you take a breath, crank your energy, know what you need to do to get handled and then move forward or step.

[Patrick]

Back or take a moment and step back and, and assess. Or me, I'll curl up on the, in the fetal Position and cry. But I mean, there's the range, right? But to step back and go, okay, what can I control? We go. This is part of the adversity CR quotient, right, With Paul Stoltz is that, what can I control? You know, ownership, reach and endurance, like you think about when you're training yourself. And I love the fact that I believe that the resilience muscle, resiliency muscle is trainable and that it's not like you. You, you know, go and look for adversity. But I think to understand that if you try to avoid it or something's happening and you don't want to enter it or you don't want to have a conversation or, you know, we read the book and I just saw it out in the out building the other day. Is courageous conversations, you know, fierce conversations. How do you own what you want to say and trust yourself and have a boundary? You have a girlfriend right now that is just going through some really tough things, and she's really such an inspiration because she's building boundaries around herself with her family and her daughter and the people that she is, you know, supporting and, you know, watching her build the resilience. But one of the first things I thought was, was watching her build boundaries. And I think that's also part of resilience is knowing who can come in your circle of sport and who needs to leave.

[Francie]

What's your thoughts? You had mentioned it earlier. I don't know if you've got a exercise, you know, is there a way to manufacture something that creates resilience? Like, what can we do as a practice run? Like, how do you. It would be interesting to build resilience. To your point, let's go to the gym and work on our resilience today. What. What might that be? You got any ideas? I just thought of that right now.

[Patrick]

Yeah. It's a really good point. Well, think about back in the day when we were in school, we had to do those fire drills, right? That was also, you know, they didn't tell us when it was going to happen, and we had to, you know, get in line. And I remember my mom telling the story about when they did it. They had to go under their desks because it was a nuclear attack, whatever, but they didn't tell you it was coming. So you'd hear the bell and everybody would react and the teachers would have to, you know, get in the front of the line and whatever. But in. In the case of the athletes that I work with, if things are going too well, I always know that after a high there's a low. So I try to pre position not a low, but a case of new. A case for neutrality. So I'd want to get them. It's not. Get them off their high horse because I don't believe in that language. I go, okay, well, things are going really well. You're winning everything right now. So what I will do is set up a scenario, for example, that I would bring in judges or evaluators and I would say, okay, we're going to do a run through, we're going to do a simulation and you're going to get judged and you're going to get feedback. And then sometimes what I did was I would go to the judges or the evaluators and I said, you need to say things that aren't true or you're going to make stuff up or you're going to say things that just are really going to piss them off. And they, and I want to see how they react because that emotional reaction is really where I can enter a conversation with how they reacted to those things. So that's what I talk about when I say manufacture adversity. It wasn't a setup in a way that it was to hurt them, but it was for them to have a little bit of adversity so that they could actually check in and see what's true for them and then say, you know what, no, I don't agree. Or yeah, actually I can take that on. But if we didn't manufacture that situation, and I actually did that in 2006, just before the Olympic Games in Torino, we had a training camp in Montreal and I did that with my skate, with my skaters, because everything was going so well. I thought, oh no, you know, we need to actually bring in something so that they can actually check in and make sure that they've ticked all the boxes. Am I healthy? Do I have my, my equipment looked after, my costumes, are my phone bills paid, et cetera? Sometimes if we get past and we think things are going too well, we can get tripped up by the things that are incomplete.

[Francie]

I think it's just interesting that, you know, resilience when we even think about. Because you and I each have some background and working with athletes and over the years, but it doesn't matter, even business owners. But you think about team sports and these are always conversations, perhaps for parents when they're considering, you know, should I have my child play a sport? But you know, the challenge that maybe some of it, I see it this way, is that when you put kids into environments where really the goal is to win, it is, I'm going to score goals and I'm going to win. This isn't a participation ribbon. Participation in ribbons, I think let kids off the hook to some degree. They don't necessarily build the resilience muscle as you would build it if you're competing to win and that you might not get into the playoffs and, or you might not win the trophy or you might not advance. That's my view of it. But I think resilience and how you work with your teammates, how you kind of show up when you get criticized or you get hell for not making the pass or whatever the story is, those are all ways to build the resilience muscle. If we look at it that way and position it that way.

[Patrick]

Well, life is a team sport, right? And I think when you take kids when they're little and you're, you know, hoping to make sure that they don't have a little bruise or a bump or they don't get hurt or someone doesn't hurt their feelings, you know, you're really ripping your child off. And I see that all the time. And when I was really building my business back in the day, I would see there were certain parents who would just not want their kid not to be the fastest on the ice or they didn't want them hurt, they didn't want me correcting them. I said, well, you know, that's what coaching is, right? It's correction. Yeah, but you know, they're not going to feel, they're not going to build their self esteem. I went, you know, what's going to build their self esteem is getting better and digging deep, right? So I've always had to deal with parents, you know, all. And I, and I respect it. I'm. No, no disrespect, but ultimately for a team sport like hockey, football, basketball, right now there's synchronized skating, there's, there's team sports where you're, you're forced to relate and connect and, you know, get to know and survive in a team environment. And I think that when you get out in life, I know for us think of all the hockey players we know that ended up, you know, being recruited by things like the fire department or the police department because they know how to be team players.

[Francie]

100. Oh yeah. I mean, think about that over the years, how many times has that happened? So the word resilience, I think that when you consider the things that we back away from or that we don't want to lead into that we procrastinate on. Why do today that we can wait for tomorrow. You know, those are all ways to break down or to not weak or not to strengthen our resilience muscle, if you will. Any closing thoughts?

[Patrick]

Well, I think it's hilarious that you brought up, you opened this with abracadabra and you're talking about magic. And and one of the things I do always bring to my world and to my clients is that we can only plan for so much. We can only manufacture enough adversity to build our resilience. We can only prepare as much as we can. We have to leave room for the magic. So to me, it's prepare for the worst, expect the best, and leave some room for the magic.

[Francie]

Oh, there you go. Those are good words, Stephanie. Thanks very much.

[Patrick]

That was fun.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening. If you found value in the podcast, please take the time to rate and review and share with others. Share with your friends as it is my goal to always improve and to provide the highest value for you, the listener. If you have any comments, suggestions or questions you'd like answered, please email me at ceoaincur canada.com that's C E-O R E I N canada.com I look forward to hearing from you. And until next time. Patrick.

[Francie]

Oh.