Mindset Matters - Episode #184 - Grounding, Self-Judgment, and the Secret to True Confidence

Summary

The Everyday Millionaire: Mindset Matters - Episode #184 Title: Grounding, Self-Judgment, and the Secret to True Confidence
Release Date: May 8, 2025
Host: Patrick Francey
Guest: Stephanie Hanlon, Olympic Mental Performance Coach

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Introduction

In Episode #184 of The Everyday Millionaire podcast titled "Grounding, Self-Judgment, and the Secret to True Confidence," host Patrick Francey engages in a profound conversation with his wife, Stephanie Hanlon, an Olympic mental performance coach. Together, they delve into the vital role mindset plays in achieving personal and professional success, emphasizing techniques like grounding to manage energy, overcome self-judgment, and build genuine confidence.

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Understanding Grounding

Patrick Francey begins the discussion by introducing the concept of grounding, likening it to the electrical ground wire that ensures safety by redirecting excess electricity. He explains, "Grounding is about safety... bringing yourself back to your center for safety" (02:11).

Stephanie Hanlon echoes this sentiment, highlighting that being grounded means being fully present and connected to one's choices and belief systems. She elaborates, "Being grounded just means being fully in choice in many ways" (02:11).

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Personal Experiences with Grounding

The conversation takes a personal turn as Stephanie shares a harrowing experience that underscores the importance of grounding. She recounts, "I was hit by lightning... my dad’s giant rubber boots... saved my life" (24:18). This incident not only emphasizes the literal safety grounding can provide but also serves as a metaphor for emotional and mental stability.

Patrick adds depth to this narrative by connecting it to the grounding sheets they use, explaining their benefits based on his research: "Early research... has shown improved sleep, decreased pain, decreased inflammation, enhanced recovery" (28:26). He notes, "The effects for me have been probably better sleep... I don't have a ton of inflammation" (28:26).

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Limiting Beliefs and Self-Judgment

A significant portion of the episode addresses the impact of limiting beliefs on personal growth. Patrick confronts his own limiting belief, stating, "You're operating on top of your limiting belief called I'm not worthy" (06:25), and encourages listeners to identify and challenge such beliefs.

Stephanie shares her vulnerability, revealing her initial reaction to receiving an award: "I felt embarrassed and excited a little bit. Not worthy. Some shame... I think it's a limiting belief" (07:49). This introspection highlights how self-judgment can undermine achievements and self-confidence.

Patrick further explores this theme by reflecting on upbringing and familial dynamics: "Your brother was the golden child... you were playing second fiddle" (08:16), illustrating how early experiences shape our self-perception.

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Building True Confidence

The discussion transitions to strategies for cultivating authentic confidence. Stephanie emphasizes shifting focus from self to others: "When I... speak or coach... I care more about the message... than how other people are gonna perceive me" (17:14). This mindset reduces self-consciousness and enhances the ability to connect with and impact others positively.

Patrick reinforces this by sharing his approach to public speaking: "I make it about the audience... I'm not reacting... I'm being thoughtful in terms of my response" (14:57). This intentional focus fosters a sense of freedom from external judgments and internal constraints.

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Practical Applications of Grounding

Both hosts provide actionable insights on incorporating grounding into daily life:

• Before High-Stress Situations: Whether speaking on stage or entering a challenging meeting, grounding involves taking conscious breaths and centering oneself on desired outcomes. Patrick advises, "Take some breaths... get present to what's going on in the room" (13:16).

• Managing Energy and Safety: Grounding acts as an energy management tool, ensuring individuals remain calm and collected. Patrick notes, "Being grounded is about managing your energy, which will keep you safe" (23:49).

• Embracing Vulnerability: Acknowledging that not everyone will resonate with your message alleviates pressure. Stephanie states, "I know that there's like a third of the room that thinks I suck... it takes the pressure off me" (16:47).

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Concluding Insights

As the episode draws to a close, Patrick and Stephanie reflect on the journey of self-awareness and the continuous work required to overcome internal barriers. Patrick introduces a thought-provoking concept inspired by Peter Crone: "You're not worried about what other people are going to think of you. You're worried about what you're going to think of yourself" (30:17). This realization shifts the focus inward, encouraging personal responsibility for one's mindset and self-perception.

Stephanie agrees, emphasizing the need to be kinder to oneself: "We’re our hardest critics" (30:51). Both hosts advocate for ongoing dialogue and exploration of these themes in future episodes.

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Key Takeaways

• Grounding is Essential: Whether physical or mental, grounding provides stability, safety, and clarity in high-pressure situations.

• Identify Limiting Beliefs: Recognizing and challenging self-imposed limitations is crucial for personal growth and achieving true confidence.

• Shift Focus to Others: By prioritizing the needs and experiences of others, individuals can reduce self-judgment and enhance their impact.

• Embrace Vulnerability: Accepting that not everyone will resonate with your message removes unnecessary pressure and fosters genuine connections.

• Continuous Self-Reflection: Regularly evaluating one's mindset and self-perception is vital for sustained personal and professional development.

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Notable Quotes

• Patrick Francey: "Grounding is about safety... bringing yourself back to your center for safety." (02:11)

• Stephanie Hanlon: "Being grounded just means being fully in choice in many ways." (02:11)

• Stephanie Hanlon: "I felt embarrassed and excited a little bit. Not worthy. Some shame... I think it's a limiting belief." (07:49)

• Patrick Francey: "You're operating on top of your limiting belief called I'm not worthy." (06:25)

• Patrick Francey: "I make it about the audience... I'm not reacting... I'm being thoughtful in terms of my response." (14:57)

• Patrick Francey: "You're not worried about what other people are going to think of you. You're worried about what you're going to think of yourself." (30:17)

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Conclusion

Episode #184 of The Everyday Millionaire podcast offers a deep dive into the importance of grounding, overcoming self-judgment, and building true confidence. Through personal anecdotes and practical strategies, Patrick Francey and Stephanie Hanlon provide listeners with valuable tools to enhance their mindset, manage energy effectively, and achieve their fullest potential. Whether you're stepping onto a stage, navigating a challenging meeting, or simply striving to be your best self, the insights shared in this episode serve as a powerful guide on your journey to becoming an Everyday Millionaire.

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For more insightful conversations and transformative ideas, subscribe to The Everyday Millionaire podcast and join a community dedicated to empowering personal and financial growth.

Transcript

[Patrick Hanlon]

Foreign. Welcome to this episode of the Everyday Millionaire Mindset Matters podcast, where I'm joined by my wife, Olympic mental performance coach Stephanie Hanlon. Francie. In these episodes, Stephanie and I have a conversation about the different aspects of what we refer to as Mindset Matters because we believe that for those who are awake, we are living in and through the most impactful time in history. Your view of the world is the filter for how you will experience the evolution and changing dynamics of it. Our intention is to provide you with ideas, nutritious food for thought, and some tools that you can use to help you in being your greatest self and living your best life. Listen in. Enjoy. Well, welcome to Mindset Matters, where we challenge old thinking, explore new perspectives, and help you design a life that aligns with who you truly are meant to be. Stephanie.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Hi, hon.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Okay, quick question. So have you ever found yourself in or about to go into a situation, your mind started racing, you're nervous, your energy's kind of all over the map, and you're more reacting rather than responding? Have you ever had those scenarios?

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Yeah, pretty much every day of my working life.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Oh, it seems that way, doesn't it? Well, listen, you're not broken. And on this episode, we're going to unpack what you can do to get Are you waiting for it grounded in these situations and not just continue to freak out. And I think this is a tool that a lot of people don't know about or maybe they've forgotten to use it, which can be the case. So I want to talk about why grounding is the missing link to clarity, to some calm, to energy management. That's a big one. And how we can start using it. So what's your thoughts on that one?

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Well, as you know, I love the term grounded. Being grounded, being grounded in the earth, being grounded in your center, being grounded in your choices and your belief systems. And being. Being grounded just means being fully in.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Choice in many ways. Okay, so let's just go back to what grounding really is about. So in the world of just electrical systems that you plug in, you know, in your outlets every day in your house, there's a ground wire, there's the power wires, and then there is the ground wire. Now, what's the ground wire for? Well, it's for safety. It is actually grounding the current so that if you grab those things, it flips a breaker or it pulls it into the ground. If your house got struck by lightning, it grounds it rather than blow out your electrical panel. Although that can still happen. The point Is is grounding is all about safety. So even in the context of feeling grounded, getting grounded, being grounded, you know, personally, it is really kind of. There you have it being and bringing yourself back to your center for safety. We'll talk about that. And then what you and I. And this is not. It's actually relatively new, you know, the whole concept of grounding only I think bust out in the 90s. And as much as it seems to be more mainstream now, it's not totally mainstream, which is grounding your body. And the whole point of grounding your body is we are an electrical system, so we can get into a little bit of quantum physics, but to just dumb it down, all we are is electricity. We are cells vibrating. We're just energy, an electrical system. And being grounded is in fact important. And we don't know it. It's important for a lot of reasons. I can get to those. I did some research on that specifically. Do you know where it really occurred to me the effectiveness of grounding when.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

We bought our grounding sheet.

[Patrick Hanlon]

No.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

No. Okay.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Well, we talked about it a long time ago. Do you ever notice that you go on vacation for a couple of weeks and you feel better you physically. And you think, well, because I had some rest. And while that could be true, what happens when you go on vacation, especially beach vacations, and you're walking around barefoot, you're being grounded, you're in the sand, you're walking across the grass, but you're barefoot, generally on or often. So the point is, is that to me, that was the observation that I had. Is that a lot of how we feel, you know, both physically, mentally, emotionally. Well, our intellect says, well, it's gotta be because we rested. That's probably part of it. But in a big part of that is also the fact that grounded and your body likes to be grounded. You and I know that we have grounding sheep get early summertime. We both walk around barefoot. Got good friends who do that. So we can unpack grounding. I want to unpack it a little bit more. But before we get to that, we got a busy may that we're kind of just kicking off. You are traveling, I'm traveling. We got events that we're speaking at. Got some news to keep, you know, fill people in on what we're. What I'm doing within the Everyday Millionaire podcast and Mindset Matters podcast. Some cool stuff going on there. You got your award and you can actually say what it is. They made it public. They announced it May 1st. The US Olympic Committee, Olympic And Paralympic Committee, but I don't remember that. It's a, it struck me as an odd name for an award, but.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

No, it's a doc. Yeah, it's actually named after a very famous swimming coach.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Oh, there you go.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Yeah. And because he was really, back in the day, used technology and used creativity and everything and, and you know what? It's really cool because it's only been out for, I don't know, maybe 10 years, and there's only been three figure skating coaches that have won this award. So in the usopc, it means United States Olympic and Paralympic. Paralympic Committee. There's, of course, swimming, there's, there's track and field, there's skating, there's hockey there. So all the coaches get their names, get put in for this award, but this particular award is.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Here it is. I'm pulling it up. It's winter and summer, Winter and summer. The Councilman Science and Technology Award for a contribution to athletic development while prioritizing support for their emotional, physical, social and mental well being through the use of sports science. So you crushed it.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

I did. And you know what? I was so honored. And I get, I get that, you know, you, you, you cheese me because you're thinking you're. I'm being like, overly humble, but I did not get that I would ever win an award.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Like, okay, listen, listen, Linda, Linda, you know, Stephanie, I already told you that was about. You're operating on top of your limiting belief called I'm not worthy.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Yeah, I think so. I think, I think, yeah, I think you're right.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Yeah, well, that's, that's my inner psychologist coming out and letting you know that, you know, the way I see it, because I have that same pattern sometimes. And we got to quit it, stop it. We're talking about limiting patterns a lot these days. And we're going to be limiting beliefs and patterns of those limiting beliefs and how they get in our way. And it doesn't matter where you are and who you are. We all get caught if we're not aware of it and paying attention to it. So it's not a.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

And you know what? I really appreciate that, you know, like, this was a secret for the last month and you really helped me because, you know, I remember sending an email to Patrice in Montreal and saying, I'm pretty sure this is for you. And then I sent the email to Heidi in us. I'm like, I'm pretty sure this isn't for me. I think they got the wrong person. But I really believe that. So I didn't know. It was a limiting belief. I didn't know.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Well, the limiting belief is the fact that you operate. You're operating on top of I'm not worthy. Now, you know, you can crack that code. You can go a little deeper, of course, which is what you ultimately want to do to make sure you don't repeat the pattern. So where do you think that you're not worthy? And you know as well as I do, you can speed back to upbringing. Somewhere along the line, you got the message, probably because your brother was the golden child that he got. Always the first pick of their everything.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

And all, the present looking and so smart and so talented.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Yes, he had it all. He was the golden child. And so probably you were playing second fiddle, even though you were the older sister. So that's. Hey, how's that for psychology right there. I help you bust that one. So when you look at the. You're not worthy. You could. You came by it honestly, as we all do, so I guess so.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

But I think when it got announced, I actually felt embarrassed and excited a little bit. Not worthy. Some shame. Like, oh, my gosh, there's other people that are so much more worthy than I am. Right. Why am I even. Oh, here? Like, this is crazy.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Now we share this story to, you know, our listener that, you know, we share these stories because, you know, at the end of the day, we're going through all the same stuff that people do on a regular basis. And even our coaches and the people that we work with, you know, nobody's got it all figured out. You know, we're here being, you know, the imperfect humans that we are, absolutely perfect. All the stuff that we're going through and learning and growing and trying to smile along the way, that's all we can do. You know, I'm in a good mood today, by the way.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

I know. And you had a lot of accomplishments today. You did a lot of work around the farm. And honestly, I'm so excited, and I just love to see how happy you are.

[Patrick Hanlon]

I'm really in it right now. I'm pretty happy. Happy, man. And got some projects going on with the Everyday Millionaire podcast. Looks like I'm going to produce a book or two, maybe even three.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Cowboy, slow down. Don't step over that. I'm going to produce a book or two.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Yeah, I've got. I really went through it with jb and I think that I. Well, I have a book for sure, but actually I've got two and now three, because I know exactly what they're going to be. I don't want to give away the titles until they get announced or get locked down. But you know, they're going to be very interesting. They're going to be in really based on the Everyday Millionaire on the podcast, a little bit about mindset matters and then the opportunity to bring, you know, our 25, 30 years of work together in our discussions about all things that we discuss and put that together in a program and excited about that. So for those who are not subscribed, make sure you get subscribed, Go to the Everyday Millionaire ca and we're going to start pushing out a newsletter, start building our community and get into some really meaningful conversations along the way. So that's it. And I'm excited about that, by the way. And I've been writing like a fiend. Not just book stuff, by the way, but really bringing this 25 or 30 years of work together and being able to have a space that I want to put it into. So I'm excited about that. Okay, so.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Well, don't step over that. Let's unpack that a little bit.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Well, there's nothing to unpack this. I'm just, it's just letting people know that that's kind of what's going on for me right now. I'm excited about it and a little freaked out about it.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Think about it, hon.

[Patrick Hanlon]

I'm, I'm a little, I'm not really, I'm excited about it. I'm not really freaked out about it at all. I'm, I'm just, I'm going, I'm going to go do it. I'm buried in it.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Honey, you've been doing it for like from 6am to like midnight every single day.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Yeah, I got a lot of writer in me I didn't know I had. And it's just coming out. Lots of years of writing, but also lots of years of doing the work and coaching the work. And I just decided I have a space for it and I want to put the plan together, I want to execute it. So probably this fall some things will start to be pushed out and set up and ready to rock and roll. And every day Millionaire is a top performing and a top listened to podcast. And I want to expand on that even more at this phase of my life. And you're going to come along with me on the journey. So you're my, you're. Hey listen, you're my, you're my bling, you're my, my hard drive. You're my dance partner.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

I'm your Hard drive, remember?

[Patrick Hanlon]

Yeah, that's. That's very important. You got a lot of memory that I don't have. Okay, let's carry on. So the. Let's talk about grounding a little bit and the real skill and awareness. So grounding. First off, you have to realize that when you find yourself in those situations where things are a little chaotic, a little hectic, you're uncomfortable, maybe even you're being. Maybe there's some confrontation in a meeting, you're not getting along with somebody, you're going to have to speak in front of an audience you're not familiar with. I mean, there's all sorts of scenarios you're going. So for example, in a couple of weeks, you're going to Colorado Springs to accept your award as well as do a keynote. And as much as you're comfortable on stage, there is a part of you that before going on stage, you will go through a process of getting grounded. I should be centered. So do you want to talk about your process and then we can talk about grounding in general? I can share mine, too.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Well, you go first and then I'll tell you about mine.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Well, the first thing that I do before I go on stage in any scenario, and I can do it really quickly, and it's just part of how I operate now. It's part of my operating system that comes from training and getting good feedback, et cetera. But part of my process is the first thing I do is I say to myself, what do I want my audience to do after hearing me speak that they wouldn't have done before hearing my speak nice me speak. Now, I do that because that way when I step on the audience or step on the stage, I am literally making it about the audience. So for me, that's just for a place to make, you know, to get out of the. Am I feeling judged or what? How this will land. I'm only presenting as I want you to really understand what I'm sharing with you so that you tomorrow will go and take action towards whatever goals that you might have set or what it is that you want to take away from the information I'm giving you that's going to move you forward. That's one of the things I do mentally, physically. I do some breaths, I take some breaths, some very conscious breaths in. Into my belly, into my diaphragm, and I get present to what's going on in the room, present to the audience, present to the theme of the event or whatever scenario I'm speaking with. And then I can Step on stage. Pretty comfortable because I. I know generally, I generally know what I'm talking about when I get up there. So it's not really about not knowing the content or worried about the content. It's more me focused on a style that I think will communicate well with the audience.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Nice.

[Patrick Hanlon]

So does that helpful? It's just like. But it's becoming present to the room. I'm not reacting. So if anything happens in that room because things happen, I don't get thrown off by it. I can just step back, take another breath, look around. Everything kind of slows down because the only thing I got going on is right there.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

You know, what's really cool about that is that you're making it about the listener. You're making about the people that have paid money to be in the room to listen and to learn. And I think that's the biggest thing for me is whether I'm speaking or coaching. When I can get out of myself and make it about the other person and really use my intuition and use my spidey senses or my witchy poo ness is, you know, is that I really get a sense of what the other person is seeking. And if it's a big group of people, like I think with us figure skating, it's going to be three or four hundred people in the room. There's going to be a lot of people who are looking for certain things. And the other thing is that I've learned is that I'm not going to please everyone. And I. And that's part of my preparation, is that I know that there's like a. A third, a third, a third. You know, there's going to be a third of the room that thinks I'm amazing and there's a third of the room that thinks I suck. And then a third of the room is going to be neutral. And when I get that, it takes the pressure off me, is that I'm really not speaking to the people that think I suck or the think that I don't have a message to, to share or it's not going to land for them. I really commit to speaking to the people who are nodding, who I can find the friendly face or I can actually connect to in the room. So because of my own insecurities and my. Maybe it's my introvert introvertedness or whatever is that getting up on stage is a big deal for me. You know, it's a big deal to put myself out there. You know, I'm getting older. I don't feel as hot or as great as I used to look and whatever. And you know, so I, I go through all this self judgment and self criticism and when I get through that and just get grounded to what my message is and who I want to connect to, all that goes away. And then I speak to the 30% of the room that actually I think I can make a difference to.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Okay, so that's cool. And that's. But what I like about that is that's your process. You're very clear. Or that you, at least you have a process, right? In other words, you have a process for grounding so that you're mentally, emotionally, spiritually, you're there, you know, you're grounded, you're present to it and you're, you have a process. But you know, as you're speaking and you're talking about the third to third. Third, it's interesting is that, you know, especially over the past several weeks, but for a while now is in the work that I've been doing and the learning that I've been having personally, you know, those limiting beliefs and the things that go on in our head and the self talk and paying attention to my self talk and the concept of limiting beliefs are really our constraints. That's what keeps us small. It keeps us limited to what we can actually achieve, who we can become. So those constraints and so really when you think about the work that we do, you know, we talk about grounding or we talk about limiting beliefs, we talk about being the best version of ourselves. What is it really about? It's really about freedom and being free. And as we bust our limiting beliefs, there's another level of freedom that we feel. So this goes back to the stage. Thing is, I've come to a place I want to make sure that nobody hears this as me feeling, I don't know, I don't know. Let me just say it and just go. There's. The only thing that there is around this all is my own realization around it is I don't care. And it's. And you choose your line. It's not that I don't care. I can't care.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

You can't care.

[Patrick Hanlon]

I can't care. So I can't. You know, I, When I go on the stage, I'm not thinking at all about what anybody's thinking about me. I've really come to a place where I'm going to show up, I'm going to deliver the way I deliver. I'm going to make the comments that I comment. I'm going to be try and be as clear, pragmatic. I'm going to come from a place of service and sharing and doing all the things that I do, but I can't care what anybody thinks about me. What I do know is this, and I have to be confident in this. However I occur for anybody to your point, some are going to like me, Some are not going to like me, Some aren't going to care. I can't care. So in other words, that way I get to be free. I'm just free. Free of any stories, any constraints that I might have about what somebody thinks of me in terms of how I did or how I didn't do. I always want to do well. I just want to show up and be true to who I am, honor my values. And part of me getting grounded is, in fact, linking to that. And so I don't know what else I got to say about that. I just think it's this perspective that I'm gaining and I'm becoming more and more aware of as I get more public and we grow out into. What we're doing right now is that I can't care that somebody has a judgment about me. Because quite frankly, it doesn't matter if you like what I do. Come along for the ride, or what I say. That's awesome. I want you to join me, and I want to be popular, but I can't care.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

No, I love that. I remember saying that to an athlete at one point. Because, of course, figure skating and ice dance is a massively judged sport, right? And they care so much about what everybody else thinks. And I said, you know what? It's not that you don't care. It's just you can't care in those moments when we think we're, you know, gonna hold back or. Or dim our light, for example, and not shine the way that we think we can do because we're afraid of how other people are gonna perceive us. It's not that you don't care, because I care deeply. It's just that I can't care in that moment. Because here's the deal for me is that I care more about the message or what you get or who you're becoming more than I care about myself in that moment. So when I think about speaking or coaching or being with my clients at, you know, at a championship or whatever, I care more about their experience and making sure that they're grounded, that I've done my best work, and then I can step back and they shine, and then, honestly, nothing else matters. Nothing else matters.

[Patrick Hanlon]

I think there's a couple things. When we start to do this kind of work, we go on these journeys, we go and we have these thought processes, and then we start to realize that we have to take responsibility for, you know, what's going on for us. So think about it. You know, we're talking about speaking, but think about if you're going into a meeting or, you know, you're going to be meeting with somebody, that maybe you'll be confrontational because you've had a disagreement and you're finally going to get together and have a talk about it. So getting grounded in those scenarios where even if you're in a heated debate with your partner, you know, how do you approach that? Or if you know you're going to have that? And we do this especially with partners, we don't take the time or have the thought process. But the point is, you're going into a serious meeting, you're going into a scenario where it's not going to be comfortable. Perhaps you have to get grounded. And part of that grounding is saying, how do I want to occur? How do I want to show up? How do I want to present myself? I'm not going to be reactive. So that when somebody's pushing your buttons or maybe throwing some slings and arrows your direction, you're not reacting to that, you're nodding through it. You're being thoughtful in terms of your response. That's about being grounded. And so that is energy preservation, but that's also safety. So when we think about ourselves as our mental health, our emotional health, being grounded, that is in fact, like the true electrical circuits that we are. But an example is the plugin in your wall. It's about safety. And when we get grounded, we manage the energy. And being grounded is about, in fact, managing your energy, which will, in fact, keep you safe. So it's a little bit of a spin on the concept of being grounded when you relate it to a practical application, like, you know, plugging in your blow dryer, I mean, the same thing. It's grounded for safety reasons. And so for us, going into situations where we're uncomfortable or where we may be challenged, getting grounded is connecting to your center, taking some breaths, staying connected to what your highest values are, going back to what the actual topic is, thinking through what it is that you want to say and. Or how you want to occur. So that's, to me, you know, a reminder that getting grounded, it's why leaders can lead and they can be in those situations heated Situations, they don't fly off the handle.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

And I think the other thing is. Is being plugged in. You think about being grounded. I think about our grounding sheet that we have on our bed is that, you know, you plug it in to the ground, and there's just a. A place where the electrical energy just is softening it. It. It's there. It's not offensive. I remember when I got hit by lightning. I was in university. Remember the story?

[Patrick Hanlon]

Okay, well, you. Yes, you've told me, but you got to share that story now. You. You were. Okay, so I'm camping. So you were camping.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

So I'm. I'm in university, and I'm in an outdoor ed. Camp and class, and we have to go out, and we have to go paddling in the. What. What's that river in Edson? Anyway, it doesn't matter. So I'm. I'm. I'm paddling and paddling and paddling. We're soaking wet. It's. You can see the thunder and lightning coming in. So we see a campground. We jump out, we pull our canoes up, and we run into the thing, and I'm in my dad's giant rubber boots. Remember those big wellies with the rubber boots with.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

They're like. He says size 12, and I'm like a size 8. And. But I got these giant wellies because he made me, which is super cool. He made me take these rubber boots, and I wore them, and I go running into the thing. I'm tripping over the. Because they're so big. We get into the shelter at the campsite, and we all get in the thing, and I lean up against the stove, and I'm thinking, oh, this is great. We found a place to stay, and we don't have to worry. The storm's gonna pass. Whatever. So my right butt cheek is leaning up against the stove, and I've got these rubber boots, these wellies on. And we could hear the thunder coming in. And I don't know, we didn't see the lightning, but whatever. And all of a sudden. Sudden the lightning hits the. Like, the stove pipe.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Yeah.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

In the top of the thing, and it comes all the way down, and it shocks my right butt cheek.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Yeah.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

I get thrown off the stove. I'm, like, shaking and rattling and all this kind of stuff. And I get up and, like, everybody's freaked out because obviously the lightning had hit the stove pipe came down into the stove, and my. And I get hit by lightning, and. And I get up, and within 30 seconds, my entire right side of my body is bruised. It's like, black and blue. And I, like, my. And my boots are on. My dad's giant rubber boots are still on my feet.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Saved. Yeah, saved.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Yeah, they saved my life. My dad saved my life by making me wear those giant rubber boots.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Yeah. You were grounded.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

I was grounded. And that's what I think about when I think about being grounded is that as long as I think, thank God that my dad was the way that he is, and. And is he. I mean, there's so many things he's done over the years to keep me safe, but that was one of the biggest things. And when I got. When the. The rest of the team picked me up and kind of put me back together and realized that. That I'd been hit by lightning. But the rubber boots. The grounded. Saved my life. So I get home, actually, three or four days later, we get home, and my entire right side of my body is bruised. My. I had a black eye. I had, like. My cheek was like, my. My ass was completely black and blue. My leg and my mom's like, what happened? What happened to you? Like, why is the right side of your body all bruised? And I said, well, because daddy saved my life.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Got hit by lightning.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Mom hit by lightning. And because I was grounded, one of the only people that was grounded in these rubber boots is that, thank God it was me that was leaning against the stove. Anyway, that's my story.

[Patrick Hanlon]

It's all funny now. Good. One good thing that you were grounded. Okay, so that's the point of grounding. And by the way, so I did a little bit of research, and just as we wind this down, when we talk about grounding physically, there are, you know, early research. Well, early since the 90s, has, you know, both anecdotal and science proof of improved sleep. Decreased pain in the body, decreased inflammation, enhanced recovery. So if you've got an injury quicker or better recovery, as in 2013, they did an extensive study, and it suggested that blood flow improves dramatically and you reduce stress. So all to say that we have a grounding blanket, I would have to say that the effects for me have been probably better sleep I'm feeling, and I don't have a ton of inflammation, but I don't know that it's improved on that. So.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Well, funny story. Quickly, before we go, we. I took it down. We took it down to Sedona. We took our, like, my travel grouting sheet, which is hilarious. So I took it up. I set up on the bed, and one. One Night, neither of us could sleep because it was like. It was like prickles on your body. Remember?

[Patrick Hanlon]

Yes, I remember.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

And I was thinking, why is this like, what. What is this feeling? And I realized in Sedona, it's already so grounded. You're, like, right in the. In the middle of whatever, the spiritual center of the world. And I. We didn't eat our grounding sheet because we'd been walking, we'd been hiking, we'd been going to.

[Patrick Hanlon]

We had been hanging out in the Sedona vortex, Right? And there you go. It's like magic.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

We were already grounded.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Okay. So I have no idea how this whole conversation landed for anybody. Hopefully there's some good insights in there. Get grounded. Think about being grounded and getting grounded in and. Or going into specific situations. It is intentional. Remember those breaths. Remember to be grounded in yours. And I'm going to throw one wild card in here. That something you said that I meant to add. I'm still thinking about it. I'm not complete with the thought. So you had commented, and we're all. If we ask ourselves and ask others, we sometimes have had and we've said, what I'm really afraid of is the judgment of other people. That's really kind of what throws me off. And Peter Crone threw something into that comment that I'm still percolating on. I think I know what he said. I understand what he said. I know what he said, but I think I understand what he said, but I'm still having to kind of wrap my mind around it. And he just looked into the camera and he says, you're not worried, and you're not concerned or worried about what other people are going to think of you. You're worried about what you're going to think of yourself.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Oh, wow.

[Patrick Hanlon]

And I went, okay, I know that's a mic drop, and I kind of get it because you have to play out in your head. Are you really worried about what other people are thinking, or are you worried about what you're thinking about yourself? Are you worried about what you're thinking about yourself? So it's a. It's a kind of a. It kind of a mind screw, but I'm contemplating that. I wanted to leave that. And, you know, we'll talk about that maybe next show.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

And we're just so hard on ourselves. I think we're our hardest critics, and I think that's. Yeah, I think it's important. We should talk about it, and we should unpack that again.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Thanks, everybody. Thanks, Stephanie.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Hey, that was fun.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening. If you found value in the podcast, please take the time to rate and review and share with others. Share with your friends as it is my goal to always improve and to provide the highest value for you, the listener. If you have any comments, suggestions or questions you'd like answered, please email me@ceoaine canada.com. that's C E O at R E I N canada.com. i look forward to hearing from you and until next time. Patrick oh.