Mindset Matters – Episode #189 – Attention Is Currency: Why Living in the Moment Boosts Success

Summary

The Everyday Millionaire: Episode Summary

Title: Mindset Matters – Episode #189 – Attention Is Currency: Why Living in the Moment Boosts Success
Host: Patrick Francey
Guest: Stephanie Hanlon, Olympic Mental Performance Coach
Release Date: June 12, 2025

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Introduction to the Episode

In Episode #189 of The Everyday Millionaire podcast titled "Attention Is Currency: Why Living in the Moment Boosts Success," host Patrick Francey engages in an insightful conversation with his wife, Stephanie Hanlon, an Olympic mental performance coach. Together, they explore the profound impact of mindfulness and being present on personal growth and success.

The Essence of Being Present

Patrick begins by emphasizing the timeless wisdom of living in the present moment. He articulates that while the concepts of past and future are intellectually understood, the only actionable space is the "now."

Patrick (01:33): "The past isn't here, the future or the past is gone, the future isn't here, and all we have is the moment where we're present."

Stephanie echoes this sentiment, sharing her personal journey towards embracing the present and distancing herself from dwelling on past memories or anxieties about the future.

Stephanie (08:45): "The past is a memory, and as human beings, our memories are designed for self-preservation. We're either the hero or the victim in our memories."

Challenges to Staying Present

The duo delves into the common struggles individuals face in maintaining mindfulness amidst life's chaos. They discuss how distractions, whether stemming from technology or internal thoughts, often hinder one's ability to remain present.

Patrick introduces the metaphor of a broken clock to illustrate how people are constantly chasing the future or reminiscing the past, thereby missing out on the present.

Patrick (06:36): "What if now isn't just a passing moment? What it is, is the only thing that's real."

Stephanie shares anecdotes highlighting how societal pressures and fear can pull individuals away from the present, leading to missed opportunities and unfulfilled potential.

Stephanie (11:13): "If we're not being present, we're missing it... we can't plant the seeds of tomorrow because we're just trying to justify the past."

Practical Strategies to Enhance Presence

To combat the challenges of staying present, Patrick and Stephanie offer practical advice grounded in daily routines and mental exercises. Patrick discusses his morning rituals, which include journaling, gratitude practices, and setting clear intentions for the day.

Patrick (18:11): "Part of my new discipline is just sitting for a few minutes, watching what I'm thinking about, noticing my thoughts, and setting clearer intentions."

Stephanie emphasizes the importance of minimizing distractions, such as limiting phone usage during personal interactions, to foster deeper connections and genuine engagement.

Stephanie (21:50): "The most important currency we have is to pay attention."

The Impact of Presence on Relationships and Business

The conversation transitions to how being present influences both personal relationships and professional environments. Patrick shares insights from his interactions with guests on his podcast, highlighting how active listening enhances the quality of conversations and builds stronger connections.

Patrick (37:58): "One of the most revealing things is that guests often say, 'You are a great listener. That was one of the best interviews I've had.'"

Stephanie adds that being present fosters respect and understanding in relationships, whether with family, friends, or clients, leading to more meaningful and productive interactions.

Stephanie (36:48): "Listening in a way that you hear what they're really saying is something that's missing in a lot of conversations."

Personal Stories and Examples

Patrick shares a heartfelt story about his 97-year-old mother, illustrating the power of presence even in the face of loss. He recounts how being fully present with his mother in her final days provided a sense of completeness and peace.

Patrick (30:39): "When she did pass, I wasn't able to get to town in fast... but I wasn't sad. I was complete because I was present."

Stephanie relates her experiences coaching athletes, emphasizing how teaching them to stay present can reduce anxiety and improve performance.

Stephanie (15:02): "Being present with athletes, like smelling the Zamboni fumes or hearing your music, decreases anxiety and improves performance."

Conclusion and Key Takeaways

As the episode wraps up, Patrick and Stephanie reinforce the central theme that attention is a valuable currency. They urge listeners to cultivate mindfulness, set clear intentions, and make conscious choices to stay present amidst life's distractions.

Patrick (40:19): "We can set an intention that actually creates the future. We can't create the future in the future. We can only create it right now."

Stephanie concludes by highlighting the natural lesson animals, like dogs, teach us about living in the moment, underscoring the simplicity and purity of being present.

Stephanie (40:29): "Dogs teach me... I have to be present with them. And such a gift."

Final Thoughts

This episode serves as a compelling reminder of the transformative power of mindfulness. Through personal anecdotes, practical strategies, and profound insights, Patrick and Stephanie Hanlon inspire listeners to prioritize the present moment, fostering both personal and professional growth.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Patrick (01:33): "The past isn't here, the future or the past is gone, the future isn't here, and all we have is the moment where we're present."
• Stephanie (08:45): "The past is a memory, and as human beings, our memories are designed for self-preservation."
• Patrick (06:36): "What if now isn't just a passing moment? What it is, is the only thing that's real."
• Patrick (18:11): "Part of my new discipline is just sitting for a few minutes, watching what I'm thinking about, noticing my thoughts, and setting clearer intentions."
• Stephanie (21:50): "The most important currency we have is to pay attention."
• Patrick (37:58): "One of the most revealing things is that guests often say, 'You are a great listener. That was one of the best interviews I've had.'"
• Patrick (30:39): "When she did pass, I wasn't able to get to town in fast... but I wasn't sad. I was complete because I was present."
• Stephanie (15:02): "Being present with athletes... decreases anxiety and improves performance."
• Patrick (40:19): "We can set an intention that actually creates the future. We can't create the future in the future. We can only create it right now."
• Stephanie (40:29): "Dogs teach me... I have to be present with them. And such a gift."

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This summary encapsulates the essence of the conversation between Patrick Francey and Stephanie Hanlon, emphasizing the critical role of mindfulness in achieving personal and professional success. By integrating their insights and experiences, listeners are encouraged to value their attention and cultivate a present-focused mindset.

Transcript

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Foreign.

[Patrick]

Welcome to this episode of the Everyday Millionaire Mindset Matters podcast, where I'm joined by my wife, Olympic mental performance coach Stephanie Hanlon. Francie. In these episodes, Stephanie and I have a conversation about the different aspects of what we refer to as Mindset Matters because we believe that for those who are awake, we are living in and through the most impactful time in history. Your view of the world is the filter for how you will experience the evolution and changing dynamics of it. Our intention is to provide you with ideas, nutritious food for thought, and some tools that you can use to help you in being your greatest self and living your best life. Listen in, enjoy. Hey there, and welcome to Mindset Matters, where we challenge old belief systems, consider new perspectives, and help you design a life that aligns with who you are truly meant to be. Stephanie.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Hey, hon.

[Patrick]

So we got a lot of ground to cover this week and had lots going on. We'll get to that in just a minute. But I want to open up, get really clear. You know, we've all. I don't know, I think most are familiar with the whole concept of being present. You know, the past isn't here, the future or the past is gone, the future isn't here, and all we have is the moment where we're present. That's why they call it a gift. You're familiar with that, right?

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Of course.

[Patrick]

Of course you are. Okay, so let me kind of lay this out. Give me a minute or two to kind of ramble on a little bit to create context, and then let's talk about this whole concept of being present and what it really means and why it really matters. Because at the end of the day, we're all just trying to figure out this whole thing of life, right? We know it's unpredictable, it's messy, and at the same time, it's actually pretty beautiful. And every single day, we're doing our best to grow, to learn, and hopefully, for me especially, we're going to become just a little better than we were previously yesterday or the day before. And if you're. I think if anybody who's listening or is watching our podcast, we know that you're on that similar journey. So we're going to assume that you're here because you're committed to becoming the best version of yourself. So are we here to. No, let me. Let me look at this. So our intention is always to support our listeners, and so everything we do within the Mindset Matters community is trying to stay relevant, is trying to keep people that food for thought going, as we walk on this path together, we're talking about being present. So I want to just share some insights that I've gained, especially in all the writing that I've been doing. Okay, so we all want to create a better future. You know, we want to do that for ourselves and for our families and for our businesses, perhaps. And it is really the future is what we're trying to create. But we've all also familiar with the phrase that the future is now. But let's break that down a little bit. Here's the truth. The only place we can ever create from is right now. Not someday, not when things are more certain and you have to pay attention to the language in here, but literally right now. So that's where we create the future. We can plan, we can dream, we can prepare, we can strategize, but we don't actually live in the future. We only ever live in the present. Now intellectually, we know that. So if we're not paying attention, if we're not mindful, we start narrating our lives or even kind of moving forward in our lives based on past. A lot of past traumas, a lot of past belief systems, or we have this imagined future that hasn't happened yet, that we live often into worst case scenarios or fears, or into results that maybe are. I often say that there's no bad goals or there's no bad goals, no unrealistic goals, just unrealistic timelines. So we call those stories that we tell to ourselves the truth. But when we do that, we're actually missing the only place that we can actually create from. And I'm wrapping my mind around all of this myself, by the way, to really kind of dial it in. But all we've got is right here, right now. And this isn't just a philosophy, it's actually practical. And as I've been kind of gaining more traction into it because we say these words, we actually understand it conceptually. But let's take it back a little bit and kind of clear our brains, if you will, of any of the mental clutter that we have. So I like to give metaphors or parables because I think that gives context. And this is about the broken clock. We're all familiar with the broken clock. You know, when it doesn't work, it's stuck, but twice a day, it's perfectly right. Now think about that in the context of your life. You're always moving, you're always chasing, you're always planning. But the only time you can ever truly get right is the one that you're in. So. So right now. So what if now isn't just a passing moment between the past and the future? What it is, is it's the only thing that's real. Right now is the only thing that we have that's real. So when we're not being present, what we're really doing is being distracted, we burn up. Or yeah, we're just distracted, we burn up. A lot of mental energy either replaying the past. You know, we have regrets, we have guilt, we have the what ifs and I coulda shouldas or we're pre playing the future. We worry. We have a lot of pressure even though the future isn't here yet. We're living into expectations we think people have of us. But here's the fundamental paradox. Neither the past or the future are real. They only exist. This is where it gets really cool. They only exist as thoughts. And all thoughts happen right now. So all of your best ideas, your boldest, biggest decisions, or even the most meaningful changes that you make, all of them begin here in the moment. So if I give an example, let's say you're thinking about a career move. You feel stuck, not because you don't know what to do, but because you're caught between regrets, perhaps of the past. And then you have a fear of the future. You know, what if it doesn't work? And what if they don't like me? And what if I'm not as good as I think I am? And really, the only place you can actually make progress is in the moment. So ask yourself, what do you do right now? What really matters today? What's one small step you can take? And that's where clarity begins. And I'd add to that, most people aren't stuck because they lack ambition or opportunity. And I'll speak for myself, because they get stuck living in a time that doesn't even exist. So they're either waiting for the right time and it's never really quite there because their fear of repeating perhaps past mistakes or so focused on the imagined future that they forget that the only future is right now. So we've heard this, and maybe we've even said this. I probably did in a past life. I'll be happy when familiar with that one. Things will get better once xyz. But the reality is the only moment that we have and is the one that matters, which is right now. So this is where life actually happens, and it's where momentum gets generated. And so that's what I want to open up the conversation because it's kind of a mind screw in that the future isn't here, the past is gone. We've only got this. We have to struggle to stay present. So that's the opening of this. I didn't set you up, as I never do. So how do we stay present? How do we actually create, knowing that now is the only time we've got? How do we stay grounded? How do we keep on keeping on? Okay, that's my big long winded opening. What's your thoughts?

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Seriously? Oh my gosh. There's so much there. Yeah, I get that. Like our, our future is informed by our past. It's not. You know, our present is a result of what we just did 30 seconds ago. Right. So my mom always said, you know, tomorrow never comes. And when I was young, I didn't understand what that meant. And you know, she said, I'll get to it tomorrow. I'll do the laundry tomorrow. When? In two weeks, I'll. When that happens, I'll feel happy or. So there was always a future state that she would always bring me back to. Is okay, that's great. But what if tomorrow doesn't come? And it didn't really hit me until I got a little bit older and started to understand that, you know, tomorrow might not come. You know, you could be getting hit by a bus, or we could. Someone could pass away or life changes and things happen and next thing you know, or pandemic hits the world and then tomorrow didn't come. And then we're living into a reality or into a present moment that we're really not prepared for. So I get that the past is a memory, you know, and because of who we are as human beings, our memories are designed for self preservation. So we're either the. In the present moment, we're either the hero in the story in our memory, or we're the victim. Right? So if we're filtering through the past and our memories and self preservation and either being a victim or a hero, or wrapping our whole present moment around these stories, we're really missing it. And we don't get to plant the seeds of tomorrow because we're just trying to justify, quantify qualify the past. And the trap is then we jump over the present and then we go into the future and go, well, when I get married, it'll be that or I'll change him. When? Or I'll be happy. When, when I get through this, then I'll do this. So there really is a battle. I Think for our soul in the present moment. Between the addiction of finding out and embodying the past, to try to give ourselves some sort of definition, or jumping into the future because it's sometimes too painful to be in the present. And when it's too painful to be in the present and you can't really see that you. Your pasta is the pasta, as my old Italian used to say. My Italian friend, the pasta is the pasta. There's nothing we can do about it other than reframe our present moment. But if we jump over the present and we're not here creating the moment, then the future isn't going to show up the way we want it to anyway.

[Patrick]

Yeah, I'm working with this one, so I'm pretty good at not hanging out in the past. Like I'm. I think I've got some.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Because you don't have a good memory?

[Patrick]

That too. But I don't care anymore because it doesn't really matter. I mean, I bring my lessons forward, but I do have a tendency to live into the future. Now. I have really been making a concerted effort to not get future thinking. So, yes, I have dreams, I have goals, I have initiatives, I have things I'm working backwards from. But even that, again, is that I can have the vision of the future, but I can only create that future right now. So where I'm being very conscious, and this is so big, you know, we talk about it a lot. So think about what you're thinking about. Are you aware of your thoughts? The hidden belief systems? Are you looking at it? Are you questioning your belief systems as you look into the future and you're telling yourself some stories that, that's no. Know that's a dumb idea, or you're not good enough, or you probably can't pull it off, or that goal is too big. We tell all those stories, but if we look into the future, we say, this is who I want to be. This is who I have to become to achieve the goal that I want to achieve. That can only happen now. We have to make those decisions today. So. So when I think about, you know, of course, we built a whole model and a whole thought process around clarity equals velocity. But you think about clarity and what it takes to work through the clutter of our mind. This goes back to the mind shui way. You know, mind shui being feng shui for the mind. This is a whole new initiative. And I don't want to call it a new thought process. It's a new way of looking at what we bump up against which is this constant clutter of our brain. And then the clarity that we need to get to actually make those decisions, to actually create that vision means that we have to create the clutter, get the clarity. And there's a lot to getting clarity because we got belief systems to bust through, we got past traumas, we got future fears. And that's where being present, the gift, being present and in the now is really impactful, really effective. And for those who struggle with anxiety or a real fear of what's coming into the future, the. I think the best cure for anxiety is to just stop and say, what is the problem you have right now? And we've done that exercise. I've had that exercise done with me, by the way. And I kept going, well, this is going to happen and that's going to happen. And I got this. And bills to pay and staff and all the stuff I've got, this whole story I got. And they look me right in the eye and they go, yes, but what problem do you have right now? And I go on this other little thing and they go, got it. But what problem do you have right now? And I go, like right now? And they go, yeah, right now. I go, well, I got no problems right now. Okay? That's all you got. You don't have a week from now, you don't even have tomorrow, you don't even have an hour from now. It is just a really, It's a bit of a mind screw to actually think in those terms, but it really is helpful in. It's one of those things we talked about. We did that episode on getting grounded, and I think getting grounded really means staying really present. So I'll share a story in a minute. But anyways, what's your thoughts?

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Well, I think being present is such a gift. And for me, it's been a lifelong journey to find a way to bring myself to the present. And like you, I have, you know, I don't live in the past very often. I have a much better memory than you, so I, I could if I wanted to. And I. The hero in my memory. So it's, it's quite fun to go back there sometimes and check in, but I'm not much of a future thinker in the present. I'm, I'm, I'm committed. I. I plant seeds, I have conversations, I try to be happy. I get really bitchy when you're not happy, you know, doing things in the moment and, you know, it's just like, oh, I just wish you could enjoy the moment or wish you could enjoy the power washing more or something like, we'll be quite so grumpy. And you know, it just it because there is a joy to being in the present because there is no pressure. It's like being childlike, you know, and giving yourself even a moment in the day where you can embrace and embody the energy of a child where they just don't have any issues. They're not looking to the past and there is no future for a kid. That's the best part. So they're just in the moment, given her right. And they then embody our issues. We impose the things that we think that they need to be prepared for. Like right now, this whole helicopter parent thing. I think it's for me and one of our businesses with, with hockey players and quantum speed. I'm finding that the players are more and more difficult to. To bring into the present moment because. And I'm. This is just my, I don't know, amateur psychology. But so much has been done for them. They. A lot of them haven't had any adversity. Some of them haven't been allowed to fall down because the parents are so afraid about what that's going to mean to their future or their education or their scholarship opportunity. Instead of letting them play in the D and get and get grounded, skin and knee, break an arm. Like have the lessons that you need to do. Because when you're present to, to that moment and you gain the lessons from it, I believe that's where resilience and confidence starts to grow as, as a person. And I was really lucky to have that. So when having that ability to be present and then to coach that with athletes, for example, to be present to smell the Zamboni fumes, for example, or to hear your music and to touch, you know, the hand of your partner and to be present to that will actually decrease the anxiety and decrease that arousal to the point where you can perform or be present. I think about when I go on stage, what I do to prepare so that I'm fully present and then the self talk that goes along with that. So being present also is giving yourself a moment of grace and just knowing that there is no past, there is no future. But if I miss this moment, you know, it's like the song. Is it Aerosmith? You know, I don't want to close my eyes. I don't want to fall asleep because I'll miss you, babe and I don't want to miss a thing. You know, I'm not going to sing all the time, but anyway, please, more. But I don't want to miss a thing. That's been my theme for my entire career is that I don't want to miss a minute. And if I'm living in the past or if I have anxiety over the future, then I'm missing it and I don't want to miss a moment.

[Patrick]

Okay, yes, a hundred percent. And. But there's other aspects of that and this is the many distractions. So as I'm going through and you know, on my own journey, as I continue to be an early morning person, I love it. You know, this morning I Woke up at 4:30 and you know, I kind of closed my eyes for a few minutes and just kind of. Do I want to get up? Am I tired? Am I just. Did I just wake up or am I awake? Right. So very quickly I assess. Nope, I'm awake, I'm getting up. So I get out of bed. I love my mornings a lot. And part of my new discipline, or I don't want to say new, it's a revisiting an old discipline which is sitting down and doing a little bit of journaling, a little bit of writing, a little bit of gratitude, but mostly I'm giving myself. For me, it's at least an hour in the morning where I'm just being present to what's going on for me in that moment in the morning. Because here's the thing, we can talk about this and we, you know, it sounds like we live in this idealistic world. No, we're. No, we don't. Far from it. We get all the same challenges, all the same crap that goes on for everybody. But if you're not disciplined. And so this isn't about always being present. I mean, there's moments in time where we get distracted. We get on our phones, somebody's trying to tell us something. And we've, both you and I have done this and we've had friends that have done this where you're talking to somebody who's texting and a friend of ours will then kick into gear and start talking about a recipe. Like take it right out of the whole conversation. Somebody that is talking to her and then is texting and then she starts to talk about a recipe or what she had for dinner the night before and they have no clue that for two or three minutes she's in a totally different conversation. And they are so distracted in that moment that they don't hear, now you and I have both done that with each other. By the way, and others. But the point is, is that it's so easy in a day to day if you've got a career, you got a job, you've got team, you've got workmates, whatever the case may be. It's hard to be present when you know, maybe your job is future thinking. So where do you give yourself the opportunity to be present, to set an intention for the day, to observe some of your thoughts? You know, what is that negative self talk? What is the old stories in the past that you're thinking about? What is the future anxieties that you have? And so I think for me, as I'm kind of going through this new process or reshifting, getting back to that is you don't have all day to be present. In that context, it seems pretty idealistic. What we do have is we have moments in time where we can just come back to center, come back to being present, being aware of how we're showing up, what our intention are. We in alignment with the intention of who we want to be. We talk about. I mean, the whole podcast is about becoming the best version of ourselves, which means we're making conscious choices to take that version of ourselves that we don't like so much that we know isn't serving us. Old belief systems, old habits and busting them. And then throughout the course of the day, the week, the month and so on, we're actually working on implementing that version of ourselves that we want to be. And maybe that's more courageous, more, more conversational, more listening. You follow? Am I making sense here?

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Yeah, yeah, you are. And I know it's a journey and everything, and I think, you know, there's. For me, it's like, okay, if we're having dinner, I don't want you to have your phone at the table. And you know, if we think we're so important. I remember saying somebody saying to me once, I was having lunch with a girlfriend or something and my phone was ringing and it kept ringing and ringing and I finally just hit silent. She goes, don't you want to get it? And I said, no, I'm just not that important. What's important to me is this conversation. I'm with you. I can, you know, I can be present with you. I can check my messages. I'm not that important. And she laughed and she's like, I've never heard it said like that before. But even think about in retail, for example, if you're standing there at the till and we're working there and you've got a customer coming up and they're there present. The phone rings when I have someone go, just one moment. I have to take this call. I'll turn around and walk out. Because they can pick it up and go, one moment, I'm with a customer and put them on hold. And it's really in the moment. In that moment, your choice of where you want to give your attention. Because the most important currency we have is to pay attention. And that, to me, is one of the skill sets. I think that's being missed right now with the distractions of phones and social media and, you know, going to a dinner party and having everybody on their phones, it's like, ridiculous. So, you know, when you put your phone down, I, you know, I still put my phone down and can't find it. And on my headstone, I think it's going to say, stephanie Hanlon, born this date. And my epitaph is, where's my phone? Right.

[Patrick]

Yes. Where's my phone?

[Stephanie Hanlon]

I'll attest to that because I really see. And I've used it as a tool of making sure that I notice when I'm on my phone or I'm being distracted or I haven't scheduled my recipes. You laugh at me. From 7 to 8am I'm all over my recipe app and stuff. So ultimately, being present and bringing ourselves back to the moment is also noticing where we're not honoring the person that's sitting in front of us. We have, you know, zoom calls every week. And I think the zoom gloom, the zoom doom and all that kind of stuff is really prevalent right now. And we were on a call a couple weeks ago and had a very, you know, very clear conversation. And I could see the person we're talking to looking down on us, and I could tell him he's texting, right? And he's like, no, no, I'm taking notes. So I realized in that moment, I said, I'm going to test it. And sure enough, a day or two later, I brought up what we had talked about, and he completely had no idea, no idea what we talked about. He was texting. He wasn't. He was in another meeting. So we think we can multitask. And the problem with that is human beings, with all the influences of social media and advertising and the inundation of so many things that are coming at us all the time and what's going on chemically and emotionally in our bodies, we don't have the same attention span that we had even five years ago, four years ago. Our human attention span is being shrunk. We think we have all this more attention because we have all these influences. It's not true. It's the opposite. So when I watched this, this, this colleague try to text and be present to another meeting, I knew in that moment that he wasn't present to our meeting and he wasn't going to be able to take forward the action steps that we wanted him to take. And it really was a huge lesson and it shut me down and I. Turning the trajectory, you know, in the relationship because I thought, you know what? In that moment, if it's so obvious to me that he's down and texting and not present and going, not that I, I don't care, I don't. Sure, I don't feel respected, but it gives me clues as to where that person is. So if you're not being present, then it also gives the other people that you're with information that maybe you don't really give a shit.

[Patrick]

Well, it could land that way. But, you know, I think there's a, there's a, there's an aspect of it that I, I'm. Here's. What I'm noticing about myself is I'm having trouble reading and I can write and I love writing and that's all cool. I have trouble reading and do you know why I've come to realize is I can't read as fast as I want to. So in other words, everything is speeding up. The way we get information, the connection to instant information, everything is faster. And I'm finding that reading is too slow, but I'm aware of it and I do read, I force myself to read, but it's painful to me. It's like, no, it's got to move faster. Like that's, this is the dialogue that I'm finding in my. The noticing that I'm having of my own stuff is there's so many distractions to have. And so I'm constantly downloading, I'm listening to a podcast, I'm listening to a book. I'm. Whatever the case is, is that I'm realizing that being by yourself with no outside stimulation, no podcast, no books, no distractions, just sit. So I'm. Part of my new discipline is just sitting for a few minutes, watching what I'm thinking about, noticing my thoughts, noticing my self talk, putting in corrections along the way, going into a bit of a meditation setting, more clear intentions. So this is me rewiring now. A lot of this is just work that I've done over the Years. But a lot of the study, you know, as I've shared many times, I'm a big fan of Joe Dispenza, for example. I love that thought process because I align with it. It all makes sense to me. It's, you know, Peter Crone, all his stuff makes sense to me. And so the point of what they're saying is that being present, being in the now, is the only place that you can be to create your future self. So, in other words, you have to bring your awareness to who you are, then set the intention for, ah, what isn't working for me. How am I showing up that I'm not creating the life that I want, for example? So this is all to say that it is really difficult to be in the now. It's almost. Eckhart Tolle wrote the book. What was it called again? The Power of Now. But the reality of it is we've got so much stuff on either side of that. We've got history and we've got an imagined future. How do we bring ourselves to being present and being now, Paying attention to what's going on when we're with somebody. Yes. Put your phone in your pocket Now. I've been talking a lot this episode, so I'll. I'll be quiet for a minute. Ed, do you have any other further thoughts?

[Stephanie Hanlon]

You're hilarious. I love it. I love when you get all fired up like this. You're fired up, Francie.

[Patrick]

Fired up, Francie. Because I got more to share. I got more revelations. Well, I don't know if it's the revelations.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

This. Like, we're coming to the end of this podcast, aren't we, cowboy?

[Patrick]

No, I don't think so.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Okay, well.

[Patrick]

Oh, yeah, we are. We are a little bit, but that's okay.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Okay. So is it my turn to talk?

[Patrick]

Talk. Go.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

I think the biggest thing, you know, I hear what you're saying and the power of now and. And all of that, and the fact that it's an entire book. Right. And there's studies in, you know, what it takes to be present. And it doesn't mean you're avoiding the past or the future or not processing or dealing with or setting goals or whatever it. The truth is, in my experience, and. And when I'm working with a new client, for example, listening to their story about who they are, why they are, the way they are and all these kinds of things, to the point where I've had to say, you know, your story doesn't matter. Like, we want to create from this moment forward. And they're like, what? You don't want to know who I am? I go, you are not your story. Well, this is how I. No, it's not who you are. And I mean, I can be more gentle than that. And I know we're, you know, doing more of a high level here, but ultimately, when I realize that there's going to be certain times or this, a certain person sitting in front of me cannot be with themselves in the moment because it's too painful. They haven't done the work or they haven't been able to sit long enough with somebody that can just hold them in a state of compassion or empathy and to be with them and not need to therapize them or send them and put them on drugs and da, da, da. Because on. In many ways, there's a lot of people who've had some trauma in their lives, in their growing up and haven't had the space where they can just go and get okay with it. I mean, because none of us are perfect. And everyone has had a past that is absolutely perfect for them to get them to the present moment.

[Patrick]

Yes, whatever got you here is perfect. And the reason. You know. Do you know why we know it's perfect?

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Because you're here.

[Patrick]

Because you're here and it all happened. And that's exactly the way it needed to be until such a time as you become present and aware, thinking about what you're thinking about and then making a decision to occur differently.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

But the pain of sitting in the moment, if it's not inhaled, in a state of cap. Of the capacity of respect and empathy for people who have never been able to be present because they're so in so much pain, they have to. They have to go to the future. They have to. And then they're experts and then they get into their intellect and all that kind of stuff. And I just really want to just hold them for a moment in love and empathy and say, just be with your pain right now. Just, you're okay, you're okay, you're okay.

[Patrick]

One of the most, One of the most revealing and one of the things that I've done lots of study around ego as we have, but the ego always wants to be right now on the outside. That sounds like being a right fighter. You know, you get into an argument and you're fighting and you just know that person needs to be right. But our ego needs to be right. And it needs to be right even as we're thinking through things. It needs to be right. And so you're going to be always bumping up against the ego wanting to be right, you're not that bad and oh no, it's the other person's fault or it's the circumstances. Then we become victims to it because we are, our ego wants us to be right, it tells us we're right. And you know, like it's, it really messes with your head in this whole thing. So the point of it is that, you know, setting the intention for how you want to occur, how you want to show up. So I want to give a couple of quick examples. So my 97 year old mom, this is for the audience, you know. This of course is my 97 year old mom passed away last week. And you know what was really cool about that is that number one, she wanted to go. She was done. She had physically broken down mentally. She was still really quite sharp. Like you could have a meaningful conversation with her at 97 years old. She understood it maybe had to talk a little louder, slow down at a moment of clarification because she wasn't processing as fast, but she was pretty fast. But point is, is that I only saw her, you know, once a month or every six weeks when I went to, when we go to Edmonton and I always of course stopped to see mom but when I was there I was there. So the week before I had been in to see mom and I could, and over this, especially this past year I could really see her, you know, kind of slowing down, breaking down and, and she was getting like, she's just going, this is no way to live. Like can I just go to sleep and not wake up? That was kind of where she was at and it wasn't, she was a very, she's a pretty happy lady all of our life. She was, you know, she was, she was always, I wouldn't say she's always happy but she, she was always a good energy about mom. The point is, is that when she did pass, I wasn't able to get to town in fast. I wasn't in, in time. I wasn't able to get to Edmonton. So she passed. My sister was there and some of the other family was there. She actually was so clear they called her at noon on whatever day that was. And but an hour before my sister and brother in law and a couple of nieces and nephews were there and she said, you need to leave, I need to sleep. And so as my sister explained it, she kicked everybody out of the room. She went to sleep and never woke up. That's what she wanted, that's what she wanted. But I was complete. Everybody's going, oh, you got to be sad and da, da, da. I'm not sad. I just love my mom so much, had so much respect for her over the past 15, 20 years. As I got older, you know, I got to see who she really was. And that was just fascinating. But I wasn't sad. I wasn't sad at all. And I felt really complete with her because. And here goes back is I was really present. So what I'm finding in my own story, in my own journey is that it's hard for me. I'm not saying it's easy, but when I'm with Aaron and the kids and my son in law, of course, but with. When I'm with the family and especially with the kids, I just want to be there, you know, I want them to remember me as the grandfather that was always present, was always engaged with, you know, that I want to be there. That's how I'm looking at it. I don't know where I'm going with all that, but that is the gift of being present. And I get to enjoy them. I get all the snuggles and I get all the laughs and all the things that we do with, you know, grandkids. And so I'm just finding it more powerful and as I'm looking at it from a business point of view is being really engaged in the conversations, really listening. And I've gotten pretty good at that. I just find it way more powerful and far more satisfying. I'm not looking outside of myself.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Yeah, I think it's really a good, a good lesson in being present. You know, I agree with you and seeing you and being with you with mom over the last year and a couple years and just how fully all in you were. Like you even wouldn't even leave the room to go get a coffee. Like, it was just so great to see you be that present and to translate that over to the kids and to the business and the clients and the staff and the team and. You know, it's funny, we were talking about superpowers at Breakfast Club the other day and you asked me what one of your superpowers was and I said that's what it is. It's. You listen, but in a way that you hear people speaking, but it's what they're really saying is what you.

[Patrick]

Exactly. I don't hear their words. You know, it is such an. That is one of my superpowers. I want to share this and it and, and and it, and I, because I'm just owning it, like I'm, I'm really realizing that it's not all that common. So over the many years of interviewing so many guests on the everyday Millionaire podcast, plus what we do with rain, et cetera, et cetera, the point is, is that when I get off a podcast, I will often ask my guests, how did you enjoy that experience? And you know, is there anything that stood out for you that maybe I could improve? I would say 95% of the time, the first thing my guests go, they go, that was. You are a great listener. That was a great conversation. One of the best interviews I've had. I don't come in pre prepared with questions. I just stay really present and I frickin listen. The only thing I'm focused on is my guest. And so I hope that shows up outside. And obviously it does. And more importantly, to be honest, it shows up that way for my guests. And I love that. I love that they have that experience when they're a guest on the show.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Well, I know I've been on podcasts as a guest and the interviewer has spoke, talked more about themselves than they actually asked me about myself. So I would sit there waiting for a question going, why am I here? And. And they're using their own platform to talk about themselves. And I was like, that's not really fun. So when I listen to your podcast, it's just, it is true, is that I've actually learned about the guest, not just your opinion about the guest, right? I don't care about your opinion. I know what it is, you know, and you have the ability to listen and then kind of redirect and repeat what they say back and then pull it out of them even more. And to me, that's really missing right now in a lot of conversations, you know, long form. I don't listen to a long form podcast a lot anymore just because I do find that sometimes the guest, or, sorry, the, the host is. It becomes all about them. But what I've learned from you is that if you can be present, listen, repeat back to the person what you heard them say, they'll go, oh, actually what I meant was. And then you keep them talking. And what I find is the most interesting I've ever been to anyone is when I haven't said a word and I've just asked them about them.

[Patrick]

It's such a great.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Yeah, I didn't say anything.

[Patrick]

So we got to wind this down. Being present, like I am being present to this conversation. And you know, in this conversation, as much as we ramble on about different things, I'm only in my brain as a host. I'm always thinking about what is the listener getting out of this conversation. And I hope in this particular context that what you get out of this conversation is being present when you have those moments in time where you can think about you and think about what you're thinking about and start to set intentions. Because it is in these moments that we can set an intention that actually creates the future. We can't create the future in the future. We can only create it right now. And that's the mind screw is that we future think we'll be happy when I'll be way better when this gets done. And all of that can be true, but you can only create that now. And that's the point of being present in this conversation.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

And it is truly a gift. You know, that's what dogs teach me. Echo and Rango. I have no choice. I have to be present with them. And such a gift, right? Animals. That's why I want baby goats.

[Patrick]

Okay, let's not digress the goats. Okay, so we'll call that a wrap for now. I hope we got some kind of message out of there and that our listener can go be present. That's all I got.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

If we didn't lose them halfway.

[Patrick]

Okay, you saw whether be present. We'll see it later.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

That was fun.

[Patrick]

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening. If you found value in the podcast, please take the time to rate and review and share with others. Share with your friends as it is my goal to always improve and to provide the highest value for you, the listener. If you have any comments, suggestions, or questions you'd like answered here, please email me at [e-mail]. that's [e-mail]. i look forward to hearing from you. And until next time, Patrick. Oh.