Podcast Summary: The Everyday Millionaire

Episode: Mindset Matters – Why Certainty Is an Illusion and How to Thrive Without It

Host: Patrick Francey
Guest: Stephanie Hanlon Francey (Olympic Mental Performance Coach)
Release Date: September 4, 2025

Overview

In this episode of "Mindset Matters," Patrick Francey and his wife, Stephanie Hanlon Francey, explore the nature of certainty and why our constant search for it is ultimately futile. Drawing on personal stories, psychological insight, and practical tools, they discuss embracing uncertainty as a path to growth, creativity, and resilience. The conversation is candid, warm, and humor-filled, offering actionable strategies for listeners seeking to manage anxiety and thrive amid life's unpredictability.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Illusion of Certainty and Our Obsession with Control

• Opening Thoughts (00:57–02:25)
  • Patrick highlights the paradox: "The only certainty we have is that life’s uncertain."
  • Stephanie adds with humor: "Well, and death and taxes." (01:25)
  • The hosts note the universal human tendency to seek security and clarity, often leading to anxiety when those aren't found.

2. Anxiety, Stress, and the Biology of Uncertainty

• Cortisol and Stress Response (05:25–07:03)
  • Stephanie explains that uncertainty triggers a physiological response—cortisol release—fueling anxiety and sometimes even leading to weight gain (07:03).
  • Quote: “Worry is a tax you pay on something that’s never happened or may never happen.” – Stephanie’s mom (07:37).

3. Reframing Uncertainty as Opportunity

• Curiosity, Creativity, and Growth (02:26–03:05; 13:39–15:30)
  • Stephanie describes uncertainty as “a blank canvas... that allows for curiosity and creativity” if we learn to manage its accompanying energy.
  • Patrick emphasizes the importance of focusing on what we can control: our preparedness, reaction, and mindset (04:10).
  • “In that uncertainty lives opportunity and our opportunity to practice resilience.” – Patrick (14:17)
• Coaching Insight: Stephanie shares how coaches can “hold the space of certainty” for clients struggling with self-doubt (12:08).
  • “What if my certainty can squish your doubt?” (12:20)

4. Learning from Past Experience

• Perspective Over Time (08:20–09:14)
  • Patrick reflects on past stressful periods: “...most of the time—and I would say in my case, I’m going to say 100% of the time—it turned out... exactly as it should.” (08:50)
  • The couple note how, with hindsight, worry often seems unnecessary.

5. Letting Go and Having Faith

• Letting Go of Control (09:36–10:30)
  • Some rely on faith—“let go and let God”—to reduce their anxiety about uncertainty. But, Patrick notes, it’s more about developing a helpful worldview than religious belief per se.

6. Mindshui: Creating Mental Clarity

• Mental Clutter and Confirmation Bias (13:43–15:30; 14:16)
  • The hosts introduce 'mindshui' (feng shui for the mind): “Rearranging the clutter of our minds... our mind hates uncertainty so it seeks certainty.” (13:43)
  • Discussion on “drinking our own Kool Aid” and how confirmation bias leads us to seek evidence supporting our fears.

7. Tolerance for Uncertainty and Avoidance of GAD

• Addressing Generalized Anxiety (16:44–18:56)
  • Stephanie explains that “intolerance for uncertainty links directly to anxiety," referencing generalized anxiety disorder (GAD).
  • The more we avoid challenging situations, the more opportunities we miss: “Then life just gets boring.” (16:54)

8. Actionable Tools for Managing Uncertainty

• Self-awareness and Breathwork (18:56–20:19)
  • Stephanie shares her own strategies: meditation, breathwork, and working with the vagus nerve to manage physiological responses to uncertainty.
  • “As humans, we’re wired for prediction... When we can’t see the future, a threat response happens.” (19:11–19:54)
• Reframing: “What if we reframe uncertainty? What if uncertainty just is certain?” – Stephanie (19:56)

9. Practical Examples and Analogies

• Personal Story – Fear of Flying (25:51–27:59)
  • Stephanie recounts overcoming her fear of flying by linking air turbulence to ocean waves and learning to “surf” uncertainty.
  • “You can’t stop the waves... but I can learn to surf.” (27:40)

10. Building Resilience and Looking to the Future

• Uncertainty as a Muscle (30:47–32:05)
  • The hosts compare building tolerance for uncertainty to building physical fitness: “We have to build our tolerance for uncertainty... you go to the gym to lift weights...”
  • Value-based living and self-trust provide a “compass” for navigating the blank slate of the future (32:13).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Worry is a tax you pay on something that’s never happened or may never happen.”
  – Stephanie’s Mom (07:37)

• “What if my certainty can squish your doubt?”
  – Stephanie (12:20)

• “In that uncertainty lives opportunity and our opportunity to practice resilience.”
  – Patrick (14:17)

• “Life is uncertain. How is it we can’t have lived the last five years thinking that life is going to be certain?”
  – Stephanie (15:30)

• “What if uncertainty is just the groundwork for possibility?”
  – Stephanie (11:39)

• “We have to build our tolerance for uncertainty... Like, we’re like, ‘Possibility! Uncertainty! Well, I don’t know…’ What if this uncertainty can lead to a different future, a different outcome?”
  – Stephanie (16:44)

• “You can’t stop the waves... but I can learn to surf.”
  – Stephanie (27:40)

Important Timestamps

| Segment | Topic/Quote | Timestamp | |---------------------------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------|------------| | Opening Theme | "The only certainty we have is that life’s uncertain." – Patrick | 01:07 | | Stress & Biology | Cortisol and the stress response (weight gain link) | 07:03 | | Coping Tools Discussion | Letting go, "let go and let God" | 09:36 | | Mindshui | Introduction and discussion of mental clutter | 13:43 | | Coaching Example | "What if my certainty can squish your doubt?" – Stephanie | 12:20 | | Confirmation Bias | Bias as comfort and resistance to challenge | 14:17 | | Tolerance for Uncertainty | “...intolerance to uncertainty... links directly to anxiety.” – Stephanie | 16:44 | | Fear of Flying Story | Surfing waves as analogy for handling uncertainty | 25:51 | | Embracing Opportunity | “Uncertainty is the one thing we can be certain about.” – Patrick | 27:59 |

Key Takeaways and Strategies (Condensed)

• Acknowledge: Uncertainty is inevitable; striving for certainty is a losing game.
• Reframe: See uncertainty as opportunity for creativity and growth, not threat.
• Build Resilience: Approach uncertainty as a muscle to be developed—through experience, reflection, and trust in your abilities.
• Challenge Bias: Stay open to being wrong; critical thinking softens anxiety.
• Control What You Can: Focus on your reaction, preparation, and self-regulation.
• Borrow Confidence: Lean on the certainty/support of mentors, coaches, or loved ones.
• Surf the Waves: Don’t try to control every outcome; learn to ride out uncertainty.

Final Reflection

Patrick and Stephanie’s message is simple yet profound: certainty is an illusion, but your capacity to thrive in uncertainty is real. By embracing unpredictability, managing your response, and seeing every moment as both challenge and opening, you build resilience and unlock your best self.

For questions, comments, or to connect with Patrick:
Email at ceoraincanada.com