Mindset Matters - Episode #203 - Healthy Debate and Human Connection in a Divided World

Summary

The Everyday Millionaire – Mindset Matters

Episode #203: Healthy Debate and Human Connection in a Divided World
Release Date: September 18, 2025
Host: Patrick Francey
Guest: Stephanie Hanlon Francey (Olympic mental performance coach, Patrick’s wife)

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Episode Overview

In this frank and heartfelt conversation, hosts Patrick and Stephanie Hanlon Francey examine the aftermath of a major event—the assassination of Charlie Kirk—and its rippling impact across social and political divides. Rather than focusing solely on the tragedy, they use it as a lens to explore broader questions: How do we maintain human connection, pursue growth, and lead fulfilling lives in an era defined by polarity, echo chambers, and fear-driven discourse? Drawing from personal experience, philosophy, and practical mindset tools, they offer listeners thoughtful “food for thought” about self-awareness, resilience, and the courage to connect beyond difference.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The World After the Assassination of Charlie Kirk

• The assassination is viewed as a “line of demarcation” or tipping point, signaling an intensification of cultural and political polarization ([02:34], Stephanie).
• Both hosts reflect on their alignment with some, but not all, of Kirk’s views, praising his advocacy for healthy debate and his insistence on data and respectful discourse ([03:54], Patrick).
• The incident prompts deep introspection about values and the importance of standing in one’s truth—even (and especially) when voices of dissent are violently silenced.

2. Divisiveness, Echo Chambers, and the Cost of “Being Right”

• The episode underlines the risks of living in echo chambers—self-selecting communities that reinforce existing beliefs ([10:10], Patrick).
• Patrick notes the human tendency to seek first to be understood, rather than to understand, echoing Stephen Covey’s famous maxim ([10:10], Patrick):

  “Seek first to understand and then to be understood. And that is the fundamental breakdown that I continue to see.”

• Stephanie acknowledges the confusion and discomfort that comes with challenging one’s own confirmation biases, advocating for a slower, more reflective approach to inner (and outer) conflict ([14:19]).

3. Humanization Amid Identity and Ideology Wars

• Stephanie stresses that many modern conflicts are about identity and the need to be seen or validated through group affiliation—liberal or conservative, left or right ([06:56], Stephanie).
• Both hosts find it alarming how dehumanization and silencing are justified in the name of “the narrative,” resulting in dangerous us-versus-them mentalities:

  “You are definitely a villain and they have every right to silence you.” ([06:56], Stephanie)

• They reflect on the loss of nuance: people are discouraged from expressing unpopular or opposing views, leading to emotional turmoil and polarization.

4. Fear, Anger, and the Human Psyche

• Fear—of change, loss, rejection, death (literal or metaphorical)—is identified as the root of much social anger and division ([22:41], Stephanie).
• Stephanie reminds listeners that:

  “There’s only two real true driving emotions. Love and fear. And anger is a derivative of fear.” ([22:41])

• Patrick adds that our lack of control over external events often intensifies fear, stressing the importance of focusing on what we can control: our perspectives, reactions, and internal state ([23:44], Patrick).

5. Strategies for Resilience and Personal Growth

• The conversation circles back repeatedly to practical mindset tools:
  • Journaling, meditation, honest dialogue, and nature as ways to ground oneself ([14:19], Stephanie).
  • Checking in with one's own values, motivations, and reactions before engaging in debates or public discourse.
  • Regularly questioning one's own biases and striving for true empathy—not just outward, but also inward via self-compassion ([34:40], Stephanie).
  • The importance of self-love, self-forgiveness, and boundaries as antidotes to social and spiritual disconnection.

6. Courage, Boundaries, and the Value of Healthy Conflict

• Stephanie references David Hawkins’ work on emotional vibration, highlighting courage as essential for transcending guilt, shame, and fear ([29:27], Stephanie).
• Patrick tells an illustrative story of a pastor turning the other cheek—once, but not repeatedly (see [27:29]), underscoring the difference between compassion and being a doormat.
• Both urge listeners to find the courage to speak their truth and stand up for their values, while also remaining open to dialogue and growth.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Healthy Debate and the "Right to Silence":

  “If words can be silenced, if just our having our own opinion and offering the microphone to someone else that thinks opposite… people in this case resorted to assassination… I think what we are looking at is possibly a worldwide line of demarcation…”
  — Stephanie ([02:34])

• The Dangers of Sound Bites and Disinformation:

  “With AI, you can believe nothing that you see… Sound bites are taken out of context… [leads to] misinformation, disinformation, gaslighting.”
  — Patrick ([03:54])

• Echo Chambers and Confirmation Bias:

  “Am I seeking… confirmation of my biases? And do I have biases and what are they? Because that, to me, is still part of the external way of being.”
  — Stephanie ([14:19])

• On Not Being a Doormat:

  “God said turn the other cheek. He didn’t say turn it multiple times… Or be a doormat.”
  — Patrick and Stephanie ([27:31]–[28:23])

• Courage to Evolve:

  “Are you willing to let the identity or whatever has locked you into these lower vibrations… die, so that you can actually evolve and move?”
  — Stephanie ([29:27])

• Self-Love as the Foundation of Connection:

  “What we can’t forget is that that empathy for other people has to also reflect back onto ourselves… finding a path to self forgiveness.”
  — Stephanie ([34:40])

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Timestamps of Key Segments

• 00:00–02:34: Introduction, episode’s context, and initial reactions to Charlie Kirk’s assassination
• 03:54–06:56: Reflections on debate culture, misinformation, and growing divisiveness
• 06:56–10:10: Control mechanisms, silencing dissent, university echo chambers
• 10:10–14:19: “Seek first to understand…”, empathy, and the hazards of right-fighting
• 14:19–17:48: Navigating confusion, value of stillness and inner reflection
• 17:48–22:41: The connection between anger, fear, and major societal shifts
• 22:41–23:44: Fear, loss, and the impact of lacking control in a changing world
• 23:44–27:29: Coping with uncertainty, stress, the importance of focusing on what is controllable
• 27:29–29:27: Pastor story, boundaries, and when to stop “turning the other cheek”
• 29:27–33:11: Energy, courage, identity, and letting go of what no longer serves
• 33:11–35:26: “Mind shui”, self-observation, clearing mental and emotional clutter
• 34:40–35:26: The practice and necessity of self-love and self-forgiveness

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Final Takeaways

• The current moment demands heightened self-awareness and the courage to “clear the clutter” from our minds and hearts.
• True human connection and growth arise not from doubling down on rightness, but from listening, self-reflection, empathy, and the willingness to evolve.
• External division mirrors internal conflict; the path forward is about both setting boundaries and remaining open to others and oneself.
• Amid unprecedented change and uncertainty, focusing on what is within our control—our perspectives, reactions, and values—helps us remain resilient and become a positive force in whatever “world” we inhabit.

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End of Content Summary

Transcript

[A]

Foreign welcome to this episode of the Everyday Millionaire Mindset Matters podcast where I'm joined by my wife, Olympic mental performance coach Stephanie Hanlon. Francie. In these episodes, Stephanie and I have a conversation about the different aspects of what we refer to as Mindset Matters because we believe that for those who are awake, we are living in and through the most impactful time in history. Your view of the world is the filter for how you will experience the evolution and changing dynamics of it. Our intention is to provide you with ideas, nutritious food for thought, and some tools that you can use to help you in being your greatest self and living your best life. Listen in. Enjoy. We all live on the same planet, yet we are also living in different worlds. Welcome to the Everyday Millionaire Mindset Matters podcast. Stephanie.

[B]

Hey, hun.

[A]

So we're about a week, I guess, subsequent to the assassination of Charlie Kirk. And I don't want to make the podcast about Charlie Kirk. I want to make the podcast about what has happened and what's unfolding before our very eyes in the, I guess the absurdity of the outcome of what that all brought about. And I really want to talk about that because we're looking at it from our perspective. We aligned a lot with what the message Charlie had, the way he had conversations, his intentions. Not everything, but that's fine. But then I'm watching and we're seeing in real time what's unfolding as the right versus the left. And all of a sudden it's gotten even wider. The gaps, the divisiveness, the polarity. We often talk about it and it really is interesting to see just how many worlds are out there, how many perspectives and the perception of so many, even how it impact us. So that's kind of what I want to talk about. How do we live in this world? How do we achieve our goals? How do we be the best version of ourself when we're being incredibly impacted emotionally, mentally, spiritually by just the craziness of what this incident has brought to light? So I'll kind of leave it there for now. Open. What's your thoughts?

[B]

Well, it's certainly a line of demarcation, isn't it? Around, you know, if to your point, a tipping point, something that I believe is going to allow me, for example, I can only speak for myself, but to really evaluate and reevaluate, you know, the, the purpose, my, the. The messages that I want to bring out into the world who I'm being, am I aligned with my truth? Those types of things were always something that I admired in Charlie Kirk and watching him go through his journey from an 18 year old, you know, kid that never gradu graduated College to the 34, 31 year old beautiful husband and father and speaker that he became. And I think what it's bringing up for me is that if words can be silenced, if just are having our own opinion and offering the microphone to someone else that thinks opposite that, that I do, and then I have to shut down or you know, people in this case resorted to assassination, murder just for the views that he held. I think what we are looking at is possibly a worldwide line of demarcation where people, whether it's going to bring people closer, I don't know. But right now I'm seeing the division and the polarity get even worse.

[A]

Yeah, I never followed Charlie Kirk that closely. Like I wasn't a fanboy and I was watching all of his stuff, none of that. But I certainly did take the time to watch many of his kind of debates and the conversations that he was having. And I thought he, be honest with you, I thought he was brilliant, you know, going in and having the impact that he had on students and university faculties, college faculties. But in my world, it's like this is such a great message, this is such a great way to have a conversation, to debate, to actually call people out in a, in a really kind of profound way. When somebody would criticize him and he'd say, hold on a minute, give me the data, like tell me where I said that or tell me where that is a fact, rather than just pontificate about how angry you are with nothing to actually describe why you're angry, with no data to support why you should be angry or why, why your anger is justified. And he shut, would shut people down, but he's only ever looking for healthy debate. And when the sad part of what's going on right now, the frustrating part is, and especially now with AI, you can believe nothing that you see and even if nothing that you can see and gosh, less than half of what you hear. And you know, when I look at what's happening in the case of Charlie, where, and this is not just Charlie, it's politicians, it's just people in general that sound bites are taken out of context, where they take one sentence or they take two sentences and they put in the context which without the rest of the conversation comes across as adversarial or abrupt or negative, when that was never the intention, it's just one statement out of context can be misconstrued. And we look at misinformation, disinformation, we look at the lies, the gaslighting. I mean, it's just such a strange world that we live in. Which goes back to my opening. We all live in different worlds. The polarity, the divisiveness, the way we see the world, our perception based on our perspective. Yet our many unwillingness to shift the perspective, to see what's a different way of looking at things has led to this. An assassination of a human being, of a man that was standing for what I think was, I don't want to call it right, but he was standing for his values. He was trying to get a message out, which was to have conversation, to have healthy debate, that there could be two, three, four sides to a conversation. I don't know, I'm just, I'm kind of thrown off by it. I'm bummed out about it. It is just such a light that has been shone on the way the world is unfolding right now. And so I don't know exactly where I want to go with it, but, you know, what's your thoughts? Let's, let's see if we can pick up a thread and pull on it.

[B]

Right. Well, thanks for that. I know I've been really bummed out, sad, really introspective the last couple of days, especially over into the weekend. We've had other stuff going on that's really rocked me this week. And, you know, so the vulnerability I'm feeling and then to have this on top of it is something that I always have to look at. Okay, what is in it? What is the universe trying to teach me? How is this happening for me? How is this going to move our life forward? How are we going to open up different conversations between the two of us so that we can, you know, share a perspective that will allow people to maybe look at things holographically or two or three or four different ways. I mean, if there truly is 6 to 8 billion people on this earth, I'm assuming there's 6 to 8 billion opinions and sides and points of view out there. And what this is showing me is that if you don't believe the current narrative that's being run by, whether it's mainstream media, the, the social Democratic slash Marxist governments or whatever, then you are definitely a villain and they have every right to silence you. And to me, that says more about what's happening externally on the outside of us, that we're our inner voice maybe is being shut down. Our connection to source, our connection to what it is your higher power is, or your ability to see another human being for his or her humanity, not from their belief systems. So it's an external control mechanism that I'm finding extremely frightening right now. And I think for, for us and for me is to be able to help people clear a bit of that clutter, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, on whatever level, and bring some of their own truth, their quiet voice, and maybe bring it a little bit higher. Because what I've seen before in the last little while is that even the, some of the voices on university campuses, the studies are coming out, that they're being shut down because they don't believe the same narrative. For example, the liberal or left socialist side that's being perpetrated, permeated through all the colleges and universities. So a lot of the people that do have opinions that are opposing, that are stuffing them down. And I think what's happening right now is eventually you can't stuff a balloon underwater for too long. Eventually it pops up. And I think what's going to happen, we're going to see a huge surge to the other side where people are going to stand up and say, you know what, I'm not going to shut up anymore. I'm not going to be silent. I don't have to go out and, you know, burn houses down like they did, you know, or businesses, you know, shatter billions of dollars of industry. You know, when the left, you know, something happens on the left hand side. So when you think about it, the left and the right, conservative, liberal, Republican, Democrat, they're just two wings of the same bird. And I think what's happened is now, I think it's time for the bird, you know, to, to stand in the center and find a place of courage where we can rise above, look at things critically, and then bring in information that will make us maybe potentially take a step back, take responsibility, and then seek first to understand where the other person's coming from. And then if we still demand that we're going to be understood, do it in a way that respects the other person's humanity.

[A]

Yeah, I think, you know, there's that part, what we've said, a big quote, you know, Michael Gruber quote. Was it Michael? No, Stephen Covey quote, you seek first to understand and then to be understood. And that is the fundamental breakdown that I continue to see is people want to, they're not willing to understand. They want to be understood, so they want their side of the story. There's a lot of idealism, there's a lot of self righteousness. There's a lot of just posturing to say you're wrong, we're right, but they're not even listening to the other side of the story. Charlie Kirk pointed that out many times in his debates. His people would come at him. He was a very smart young man and young. I mean, he was 31 years old. I mean, gosh, consider what he. The impact he was having on the world at an early age. And there's all sorts of stories around certain aspects, you know, Anyways, I don't want to go there. It isn't really about that. It's what has unfolded because of it. And the observation this has really created more divide than we were already in. And it's interesting to note that within this planet we live on, there's a lot of different worlds, a lot of different subcultures, and there's so many echo chambers that we have to be aware of our own echo chamber. We, you and I, you know, we were talking about a couple of things earlier, which is we have our echo chamber. You know, we live in this world where we're always looking at what is like we're trying to discover or uncover what is happening. How can we live and be the best version of ourselves in whatever world we live in, whatever subculture we live in? I'm not here to try and make anybody wrong, although that would be an easy path to go down. But that would again just be really creating more divisiveness, more polarity. I don't agree with a lot of the things that are unfolding in what we would refer to the wokeness or the far left. And I get all that. They have their views of the world, we have our views of the world. They want to say they're right, we want to say we're right. That right there, even in that description, is so divisive. So here's the point, given what we try and achieve on this show, which is just to have conversations regardless of the world you live in, how do you lead a very fulfilling life? How do you be the best version of yourself? How do you be a contribution to whatever world you live in? And sometimes it means shifting your perspective, listening to hear what somebody else is really saying, rather than not listening and just waiting to say what you have to say. So I think at the end of the day, it goes back to the fundamentals. Whatever world you live in, whatever view of the world you have, I don't really want to have an opinion of it. On this show, when we look at and we do have our opinions, we do have our view of the world. But for me, it is about working with individuals that are open to elevating themselves to being a contribution, to use the overused phraseology now, which is being the best version of yourself. We always are trying to improve, to seek a elevation of where we were to where we want to go or where we are to where we want to go. And that just takes, I guess, effort. It takes self reflection, a lot of self awareness. And right now I'm being self aware of how I'm seeing the news come out at me, how I'm absorbing what all of the inundation of the negativity. It's just crazy. So how do I handle all that? I don't know, journaling, thinking about it, talking about it, meditating, coming back to the show, talking it through with you. So I'll leave it at that. Where else do we want to go here? I'm confused.

[B]

Yeah, don't be confused. I think that's probably the theme of this podcast or this conversation because, you know, I'm, in a way hoping that, you know, that I can sit in a bit of this confusion, sit in the middle of. In this, I don't know, you know, is. Is can I allow myself to really look at all sides and be challenged with my own thoughts and opinions and belief systems? Am I seeking, you know, the algorithms of my confirmation bias? Am I seeking, you know, confirmation of my biases? And do I have biases and what are they? Because that, to me is still part of the external way of being. And I think what I'm hearing you say is that I'm hoping that this can slow. Slow us down and maybe slow some of our listeners down to really check in again with what it is that matters to them most. You know, I think about, you know, this yesterday or whatever day, walking in nature, bare feet on the grass, and going in the back 40 with the dogs. And for me, connecting to nature, connecting to, you know, myself that way. Because I think what will happen over time is when we're so externally divided, there is going to be a place where individuals, we're going to have to find our own way back home. And by back home, I mean to the source, to what you believe in, your religion, your spirituality, something that is rooted deeply inside that, you know, we can't compromise. You know, people are being drawn into conversations that make no sense. I mean, you think about somebody coming, like, to your point, we live, you and I live in a bit of an echo chamber. But if somebody came and said, you know, I'm a far left liberal and I believe this, this and this, and, and I believe there's 14 genders and I identify as. And I'm like, okay, well let's, let's talk through that and see if that's a fit for our company or for the relationship. But if you're going to lead with that. It's very difficult to find a way for me to enter a conversation. It's like going to a party. You know, the other night we went to a birthday party and you know, people are saying, oh, so what do you do, Stephanie? And, and, and it's, you know, I said, well, you know, I really work with people to help elevate their, their performance and, and take their businesses to the next level. And then instead of me asking what the other person did, I for a living, I said, so and, and what? And I love to do that. I said, what do you love to do? And honestly, it just kind of rocked her. And she's like, what? What? Well, I may, I went, yeah, I get it, but what do you love to do? And it either is a conversation killer or in the moment I watched her soften and go, you know what I really love to do is da, da, da, da da. And I was like, ah, so maybe that's what's missing. Not what I do, what I think, what I believe, and then stick my staff in the ground and become a right fighter on the left or right fighter on the right and then create all this war. Because there can't be war outside of us externally if there's not some battles inside and whether that's a, a guilt and shame battle, a self worth shadow work, whatever it is, there's something inside that is projected on our outsides. When you think about the reality of the people that would actually believe, killing somebody for words and having an opinion and giving the opposite voice a chance to be heard needs to be snuffed out. To me, that's the tipping point. That's the place where we go, people, we need to slow down and check in and look inside.

[A]

There's something to be said for what this has created, which is a lot of controversy, a lot of angry people on both sides, by the way. There are the angry people that are just put off by people celebrating an assassination of a human being. There is the result of how many men have we seen, you know, look into a camera who've never, I've even seen guys who've never been on camera and go, I have To. I have to say, I'm. I'm not going to take it anymore. It's like, I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore. So there is a part where I think this could be a tipping point. You know, there's some who are even looking at this and saying, what is this going to cause? It could cause a civil war, economic shifts. I mean, it's a big deal, and we're a week into it, and we'll see what all unfolds. But I think there's the fundamental around all of us, and it's something that you and I have observed. We kind of researched a bit, which is. So much of the anger that is out there is driven by fear. And not all of it, but a lot of anger is driven by fear. Fear of change, fear of, okay, this is where I was, and now I can't be there anymore. This is what was happening in my past, and I really liked it, and now that's all changing. So that is fearful. When we have to go through change that we're not making a choice to go through, it can be pretty frightening. And if you kind of recognize what's causing it, it can really drive some anger. So I think there's a part of it where, as we go through these kind of global shifts that are happening, it is a little bit surreal. We hear people going like, you know, five years has gone since we were locked down. Like, five years, more than five years has passed. It's gone by in a heartbeat. Like, time is speeding up. We're living in this matrix. So there's confusion, there's uncertainty, there's divisiveness that even. What this recent incident with Charlie families. And we've seen this. We've seen the political divisiveness where, you know, father and a son, or fathers and kids in general, or parents in general can no longer have conversations with the kids. I mean, we know people like that. And, hey, listen, I have all the empathy in the world. I don't know that there's a solution. How do you actually have a conversation where somebody has such strong political beliefs and we're witnessing it, and I guess, again, we're in a bit of an echo chamber because we're not in it like so many are. But we certainly observe it, and we certainly are. I guess we hear it directly, and it's. It's a. And you start to just realize that life has changed. There is. We're all on the same planet. I think you used the analogy that you use. You know, we're on the same ocean, but we're all in a different boat. You know, we're all a different boat. Somebody's on a yacht and somebody's in a rowboat, and the guy in the rowboat's going, yeah, but you're on a yacht, you've got it so much better. And the guys on the yacht are going, this is too complicated and it's too expensive and I wish I was in a robot. Like, it's so messy, the narratives and the thought processes that are going on. How do we deal with this? And that's really the question. And I think that there's no exact answer. There's no one answer. But we always have to come back to center. And that is ourself. Looking at our life, recognizing that life is a reflection of how we're showing up, who we're being. Most importantly, I think life is a reflection of our perspective. And we owe it to ourselves to try and shift our perspective intentionally, mindfully, critically, so that we can have a different view of the world, so that our perception can change back. To seek first to understand, then to be understood. It means shut the fuck up, quit talking, listen, hear the other side, and don't take shit personally. And think about Charlie Kirk speaking to tens of thousands at a crowd, hundreds of thousands, millions overall. I mean, he had a global impact. People were listening, but many were listening only from and through the lens of you're wrong, I'm right, you're lying, you're an asshole, and I just go, quit it, listen. He says it time and again. I don't remember his exact tagline, but why can't we have conversation? Why can't we debate? Why can't we have healthy, friendly debate?

[B]

I think, hon, you're right, because it goes right back to the fear. And fear is what drives us, right? There's only two real true driving emotions. Love and fear. And anger is a derivative of fear. So what are we afraid of? And I think as human beings we've been gaslit for the last how many decades to the point where the. The mass population is so terrified that they're going to die from, I don't know, something floating in the air or doing something or saying something, right? Being canceled, being canceled or being set out from the tribe 200 years ago Mendy were going to die. So our limbic, our. Our. Our brains are so wired to the. That reptilian histories that if we're going to get kicked out or we're going to be Canceled, then we're going to die. That's the. That's the leap. Many, many people. And that's been repeated over and over and over and over again. And eventually people get worn down and they believe it. So they have to find something to believe in and then defend it with their life, literally.

[A]

Yeah, I think. I don't. Yeah, I think there's. I would go maybe not as harsh as fear of death. I mean, that or dying. So when we have to qualify dying, not physical, it could be the. The. The death of something, the death of a relationship, the death of a job. It's. It's fear of loss. It's fear of loss of what we're familiar with. It's the fear of loss of what we have or the lifestyle that we have that's changing. I get angry. I'm like. When I look at what's going on politically, it drives me crazy. Now I don't care really so much about the party. It just happens to be our current liberal government that is implementing policies that I just do not agree with. I, I totally disagree with them. And I'm looking at. It's just based on results. We're not getting stronger as a country. We're getting weaker. We're not coming together more as a country. We're getting more divisive. And so these are all decisions made by government that we have no control over. So, yeah, I mean, we. I don't want to say we have the right to be fear, fearful. We, We. I guess we do. But we live in this world where we are lacking control. So when we come back to the foundation of how do we manage that? We have to look and say, what can we control? It goes back to, you know, stoic Marcus Aurelius saying straight up, what can we control? And there's so little we can control, only our reaction to it. And I want to get to that point. We can only control what we can control, and that is our reaction to certain things. So when we. I use. Often use the quote, that it's not the weight that we carry that breaks us down, it's the way we carry the weight. We have a friend who's going through some really difficult times, marriage, all sorts of things, and she's literally put on 50 or 60 pounds. And so when she went to the doctor and goes, I'm working out, I'm eating right, I'm doing all the things right. I just keep gaining weight. And what did he say? Cortisol. And we know that cortisol is one of the things that is a blocker of weight loss. You know, it's a totally. You know, it's a chemical change that happens in your body. Now, that's because of the way she carries the weight. It's heavy, it's emotional. I'm not making her wrong, by the way. I mean, it's easy to go down that path. You have to develop the skills to go. This is what it is. I can't emotionally go all in on this. I have to protect myself. I have to protect my spiritual, emotional self so that cortisol, those levels of cortisol driven by stress are managed because cortisol size from weight causes a lot of other issues. My point is, is that whatever world you're in, and we all live in these different worlds, these different subcultures, these different echo chambers, different bubbles, whatever, different row boats, whatever. Or different boats, whatever analogy we want to use, it's up to us to say, how do we still not only survive through all of this, but thrive through all of this? How do we grow? How do we become the leaders and the best versions of ourselves that we want to be in spite of the challenges that we face? And I think this is a test that we don't want, but we have to look at it, or if we can look at it as a test, observe it. Some people are going, I'm done. I'm not going to turn the other cheek. That was the story of the minister who is walking down the street.

[B]

Oh, yeah, tell the story. This is good.

[A]

Okay, so there's a pastor, he's walking down the street. He get. He's with one of his. Whatever flock, somebody with him who admired him, a young man, and they have a confrontation with somebody. And the pastor is trying to be diplomatic, and this person strikes him. And the minister, or pastor, whatever you want to call him, he stopped, doesn't do anything, and continues to have conversation with this guy. And this guy strikes him again. And the pastor calmly takes his jacket off, walks up to the guy, kicks the crap out of him. Young man that was with him goes, father, you know, didn't God say, turn the other cheek? And the pastor says, yes, God said turn the other cheek. He didn't say turn it multiple times.

[B]

Yeah, or be a doormat.

[A]

Or be a doormat. So at some level, we have to take a stand, and we have to push back, fight back. And we're seeing more and more people because Charlie was a stand for what many believe, which is that we need to listen, we need to have conversation, not live in these idealisms and whatever people perceive, whatever ism, whatever ism and marginalize this and racist that and misogynist, whatever. Again, so tired of it. And I think many are many men, I think women too, but many men looked at Charlie and after the death they're really saying, you know, he was, he was the guy that set the benchmark. And I'm not going to sit on the sidelines anymore. I'm not going to be the doormat that so many think that we should be. And that's a mindset, that's a shift of view, that's being courageous perhaps and taking.

[B]

That's the word right there is. It takes a lot of courage to move past the lower vibrations with, you know, the David Hawkins work, you know, the, the energy chart I talk about all the time, is that the lowest vibration we have is guilt and shame. And it, and it, when we really come down to it, those are, those are two drivers that live under fear. So what are we protecting? You know, if, if we're gonna use our default and we're gonna protect ourselves because we're afraid our ego is gonna die or the story that we're living is going to die or physically, you know, I mean, how many times have I heard this week is that there are people out there that are willing to die for the things that they believe in and if you're not, then you can be bought. And that was a comment I heard a couple of times this week. And I thought, wow, I never thought of it that way. I mean, think about. Sometimes it's just, are you willing to let the identity or whatever has locked you into these lower vibrations? Are you ready for that to die? It doesn't mean you physically have to die die, but there are things that need to move and shift through. For me, my own life, it could be just some old story that I have. Am I willing to let it go? Am I willing to let it die so that I can actually evolve and move and, and shift into the. What's next for us? Because if we can't do that hun, then what right do we have to support and coach and help other people, help them with their, you know, clearing the clutter of their own, not just their mind now, but of course now some of, maybe some belief systems, some hidden beliefs that are driving people to lock into this whatever identity that they have to keep alive, even if it's not serving them. That's the piece that I find so interesting that is being loosened right now is that there are some people that I've talked to already that are sitting back and go, I guess I have to look at why I've been hanging on to that because it really isn't serving me anymore. And I'm seeing where I've tolerated things. I've been a doormat. I've let that guy on the street punch me three or four times and turned the other cheek because I was a good person. Well, you know what? That doesn't make me a good person. You know what makes me a good person? Being a good person. Having boundaries, understanding my values, loving my family, doing the things that I can do to help other people live their dream. That's being a good person. Not stepping down, being a doormat, getting punched, not speaking my truth, believing all the bullshit, lies and gaslighting that's out there. That doesn't make me a good person. You know, I remember saying, I asked somebody once why they were wearing a mask, you know, two years after the whole thing was shut down and they weren't having to wear masks anymore. And he said to me, he says, I'm wearing it because I'm showing everyone I'm a good person. And I went, wow, you know what I'm doing to show people I'm a good person? And he's like, what? You're not wearing a mask? I go, I'm being a good person. And he was like. Like, mind blown. He didn't know that. He didn't know. You didn't have to virtue signal to the world he could just maybe open the door for someone or be kind or whatever. His definition of being a good person was, was just putting a mask on to show the world he was a good person. That really opened my mind. And I think that's, you know, those are the kinds of things that are bubbling up when I think about this whole shift in. I think there's going to be a shift in social media. I think there's going to be a way bigger divide before we come together. But I know for me, I want to be that space. I want to be a stand for people to feel heard. I want to be a stand for people to feel, you know, confident and powerful in their own lives. And if we can be the stand for that, that's what I'm willing to do. As hard as it was this week, I thought I was just going to throw it up. Not throw up, sorry, throw it out. And maybe throw up. But anyway, that's what I felt when I heard about Charlie's death was I really felt like a Throw up as.

[A]

We go through this. This is really about the mind shui way, Feng shui for the mind, clearing the clutter of the mind. And there's always something there to clear, clear the CL or to create the clutter. It's up to us to see our way through it, to actually clear the clutter. Which means self observation, self awareness, self reflection, really identifying and not being reactive, but stepping back a little bit and seeing where you are actually being tested, perhaps a different view of the world, different perspective. And rather than being the right fighter, and I'm not saying don't be a right fighter, you know, if you've got a strong stand for something, that's great, but always just double check, make sure that you're reflecting on where your view is coming from. What's driving it is what's driving your anger? Fear. And if it's the fear, what is the fear of? Is it real or is it just the possibility? What is it that is setting you off? These are really challenging times. And so our goal has to be to support, I hope, our listeners through helping them ship their perspective and giving them food for thought, consideration for what's going on in the world. Because it is certainly a strange world. And yeah, that's all I got. I hope this show has been helpful, Stephanie. Thank you.

[B]

Thanks. Fun. I want to have one more thing that I want to say though.

[A]

Okay. Please.

[B]

Underneath what you were saying about self awareness, et cetera, there's also a place of self love. And I think that's the thing that's being really dismantled over the last 10, 15 years is that our ability to respect ourselves because we're always having to put everybody else ahead of us in order to be a good person. But what we can't forget is that that empathy has to also, for other people, has to also reflect back onto ourselves and where we can forgive ourselves. Because a lot of times what I'm seeing, people won't let go of the stories they tell about themselves is because it's too painful for some of the actions that they may have taken. So the self love comes from also understanding why you did things when you did them and then finding a path to self forgiveness.

[A]

Beautiful. We'll call that a show. Thanks, Stephanie.

[B]

Thanks, hon. That was fun.

[A]

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening. If you found value in the podcast, Podcast, please take the time to rate and review and share with others. Share with your friends as it is my goal to always improve and to provide the highest value for you, the listener, if you have any comments, suggestions or questions you'd like answered, please email [e-mail] that's CEO E I N Canada.com I look forward to to hearing from you. And until next time, Patrick goes.