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The Everyday Millionaire and Mindset Matters Podcast
Mindset Matters - Episode #209 - The 7 Hidden Costs of Creating a Life by Design
00:38:42
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- [00:00]
A
Foreign. Welcome to this episode of the Everyday Millionaire Mindset Matters podcast, where I'm joined by my wife, Olympic mental performance coach Stephanie Hanlon. Francie. In these episodes, Stephanie and I have a conversation about the different aspects of what we refer to as Mindset Matters because we believe that for those who are awake, we are living in and through the most impactful time in history. Your view of the world is the filter for how you will experience the evolution and changing dynamics of it. Our intention is to provide you with ideas, nutritious food for thought, and some tools that you can use to help you in being your greatest self and living your best life. Listen in. Enjoy. Hey there, and welcome to the Everyday Millionaire Mindset Matters podcast. Stephanie.
- [00:57]
B
Hey, honey.
- [00:59]
A
So I want to hit on something today that we often. I mean, the whole podcast is about creating a life by design, being a best version of yourself, self mastery. There's a lot of different narratives and language we put around, you know, growing into and having the life that we want. What does it take? Who do we have to become? And all of those things. So I want to unpack what we're going to call the seven costs of entry. To create a life by design, to be the best version of yourself, there's a price to pay.
- [01:33]
B
Yeah, that's a really good one. I've been thinking a lot about that recently. It's like even preparing for our Mind Shui Beta program, we were looking at different ways of entering the conversation and what do we gain about are the things that we have to give up in order to gain something. And, you know, from a value standpoint. And I think it really naturally dovetails into this kind of way. What's the cost of entry? Conversation.
- [01:54]
A
Right. So within each category. So I broke it down to seven, and there's a, you know, the fundamental narrative around is everything worth having in life has a cost of entry. And the cost of entry is not money. It's understanding, or what we would call the practice of the mind Shui way. So you and I and anybody we talk to can probably agree that the world belongs to those it doesn't belong to those who avoid discomfort. We talk about it all the time. Is growth actually lives in the discomfort? You know, I use the gym analogy frequently, is that in order to grow, we have to lift weights that are heavier than we're comfortable with, often causing some pain or, you know, aches. For sure.
- [02:43]
B
Well, yeah, because you got to shred your muscle in order for it to get bigger. That's a paradox, too. Right?
- [02:47]
A
Right. So in order to grow, we have to be in the world of discomfort. And this is different than being out of your comfort zone. Although there's some similarities, this really is understanding that there is discomfort in when we're going into the growth. We've never been there before, there's going to be, you know, discomfort. That's ultimately what the message is here, I believe. And so when we talk about mind shui, it's clearing the clutter of the mind that can be uncomfortable, that can actually be very uncomfortable. When you start to look at what's in your way and then you've been maybe busy looking outside of yourself, thinking it's the economy, it's my boss, it's my significant other, there's always some excuse around it. And this is really about the price that we do have to pay and just owning that part of it. And it really boils down to somebody who understands this will then look at the world through a different set of eyes. The whole idea of perception or, you know, perspective shifts perception. So really what we're trying to do here is give a different perspective of the discomfort that we've got to get into. So that's my thought process on this particular conversation. And are you ready for that?
- [04:07]
B
I am. I'm excited. Hit me.
- [04:08]
A
Okay. So we know that whether it's an achievement, it's a relationship, it's a transformation, it's a job, a new job, a new business, there is a price that we have to pay. And part of that price that we have to pay, for example, in the world of achievement is uncertainty. So that is the cost of achievement. It doesn't, of course, achievement doesn't come with guarantees. If you need certainty, you'll trade dreams for comfort. That right there. Just think about that. If you need certainty, you'll trade your dreams for comfort. Comfort and growth happens in the discomfort or the fog, the uncertainty. And then you take the steps, not knowing where the next one and the next step's going to be. So it's hard in the world of uncertainty. We've talked about this a lot, but do you want to expand on it?
- [04:58]
B
Well, yeah, because uncertainty is really part of the key of what I call the champions journey and what we're calling mind shaped mind shui way is that we don't know what's on the other side of the curtain. We don't know what's happening if we don't take the next step. And people are looking for certainty before they take the step. But the truth is you have to take the Step in order to gain certainty. So there's a word that I'm loving right now. It's called. Oh, no, certitude.
- [05:27]
A
Oh, certitude.
- [05:28]
B
Yeah, certitude. It's like the attitude of certainty. It's like I'm faking it. I'm faking my certainty as I take the step into the unknown. And when I'm working with a client and I can see what they're throwing at me or putting in their way, or they've got the clutter of the mind. And I always say, you know, it's like cleaning your house unless it's just me. But every time I go to clean my house, it gets messier first. So that discomfort is also about putting the pieces back together where they need to be and to clean out some of the clutter, to purge, to let go of things. And that's the action that I see that can clear the road to at least a little bit more certainty. Or at least certitude.
- [06:09]
A
Yes. I like the word certitude, but it is. It was a. It's a. It's a kind of a odd word. We don't. I certainly don't use it often. I wouldn't use it in a sentence. Too big a word for me, you know, but it's true. Okay, so the next one. And I want to go back to something you said that just tweaked me, you know, when we talk about. Because we launched our Mind Shui beta pilot program, and as we're working through that kind of aspect of it, number one, we're going through some discomfort, let's face it. I mean, we're launching this program and it. It. We're trying to figure it out. That's the whole point of doing beta pilot, by the way. What a great group of people we've got as well. So I'm really excited about that. My point was back to what I was going to say within the context of mind shui. Clearing the clutter of your mind. But part of what we're working on, part of our first segment, was unpacking hidden beliefs, bringing your attention to the hidden beliefs that are actually cluttering our way of being consciously or subconsciously. So as much as some of them are hidden, it's easy to kind of identify them when you look at different scenarios. But that's part of clearing the clutter. So I just wanted to bring that into the conversation a little bit, and it actually plays into certitude. It actually kind of highlights that once you once that hidden belief is no longer hidden, guess what? You can have a lot of confidence in making decisions as you go forward. Does that make sense?
- [07:39]
B
So true. I think that was what the big aha moment was at our first session with our amazing group of beta testers is that, I mean the looks on their faces and the quiet energy that happened when people started to realize just how many hidden beliefs we have and how many we work through or personally or they have, but how powerful this.
- [08:01]
A
Awareness is, it is true. Okay? And that's what this is about. These, you know, these seven things. The price that we pay, the next one on the list after uncertainty is the cost of achievement. So if you want to achieve something, there's going to be uncertainty. There's very rarely to achieve bigger, bolder things, there's very rarely certainty. You have to keep taking those steps, figuring it out as you go. The next thing on the list is imposter syndrome. That's the cost of growth. It's when we feel unqualified. There's a fundamental around that. Feeling unqualified isn't necessarily a sign that you're faking it. And that's often where that phrase, fake it till you make it. It's really just evidence that you're expanding. If we look at it another way, if we give it a different context, is every new level that we go to, we've never been there before and it's on the edges of what we are capable of. We're going to push ourselves. The discomfort of moving forward and we're going to feel like we're faking it. We're going to feel a little bit like imposter syndrome. Who are we to do this? Who are we to say that. I've had this one lots of times because, and especially with you and I, we're, we're always trying to grow. I think that's just the nature of it. And but we do ask ourselves, you know, who are we to do this? So what do you want to add?
- [09:25]
B
We are. Well, that we talked a lot about the fraud too, right? Like the fraud mindset. Like where am I a fraud? Where am I not, you know, believing in my. And is that a hidden belief? Right. Where am I not believing in myself? Believing in my history, my qualifications, my experience, my results? You know, it's not like there's this, you know, pre written script for especially someone like me, an entrepreneur and you know, making shit up as I go because I'm dealing with people in real time, with real emotions, with real goals. And real, real lives. You know, this is not, you know, like I say, I'm not a psychologist and I don't play one on tv, but I am the person that is working in real time with a lot of really inspired people that have really big goals. And as we move through that, there is going to be an imposter syndrome or some kind of fraudulent in it because we don't have a frame of reference to the future. We only have the frame of reference to the past. And for some people, that's where they draw their experience from and they pull it into the present. So in order to have any kind of future state or live your best life, if there's no evidence in the past that they can pull into the present moment, how on earth do most people create their next steps to live their best life when they don't have evidence of it yet. Yet.
- [10:46]
A
Yet. Totally. I want to share something with you that was so this weekend I didn't even share this with you. So this past weekend I'm at an event and I actually am sitting down with this couple and they're dealing with some real estate stuff and husband, wife, team, he's very into what he's doing. It's not that she's not into it, she's just, she's a mom, she's got a job, she's kind of managing the household. He has an expectation of her. Anyways, within a 15 minute conversation, we got to where the breakdown of the communication is what they're bumping up against. And the reason I'm sharing that is, is we are leveraging our experience and we come up with ideas and exercises kind of in the moment. And the reason I'm sharing that with you is that I probably had a 15 minute conversation with them and they walked away and they went, wow, that was so helpful. But about an hour and a half later, the wife of the couple came to me and she said, I just want to tell you that she said, you had a profound, a lot impact on us just now. And she says, you may not realize. And she said, like, for example, I've been trying to communicate this with my husband for two years and what you got us to in 15 minutes changes everything for us in terms of how we want to move forward. And I went, wow, you know, like. But I was listening to them and then I was leveraging my experience to go, okay, I've seen this, heard this, you know, been here, done that kind of thing. But I'm actually kind of making up questions or exercises. If you will in the moment. And that can feel a little bit like, you know, fake it till you make it or imposter syndrome. Who am I? I'm not a psychologist. I'm just really good now, this many years later, at kind of identifying common patterns in these scenarios that play out. Because although this is a unique couple, special couple, I've never had these kind of conversations with them before. I'm leveraging experience from the past, but in that moment, I'm faking it. Like, I'm really just kind of cracking the code.
- [12:45]
B
I don't say those. Don't step over that, cowboy. You're not faking it. You can't say, I'm leveraging my experience and then I'm faking it in the same sentence. It's either one or the other. Come on.
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A
Well, okay, like, think about it.
- [12:56]
B
Like, if I. If I said that to you, you totally call me on it. Because what I've also learned over the last little while is your intuition. And when you're talking to people, you're listening on such a intuitive and almost spiritual level that they don't even half the time realize what they're saying and what you're picking up on.
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A
I have that.
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B
I think I have a little bit of that same skill. But you're picking up on things that they're not saying. So when you think about a couple that's probably, you know, bumping into their patterns and histories and their. All the other stuff that couples bump into when it comes to courageous conversations, you're able to extrapolate some of that stuff out by what you're hearing, maybe not necessarily what they're saying. So I don't want you to step over that, cowboy.
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A
Okay, now you may be making a good point. That's probably a bad example of.
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B
That's a really bad example. But anyway, I got to say what I needed to say, so that was good.
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A
Okay. Very good. Okay. Awesome. Okay. The cost of personal transformation. Oh, this is so good. So true. Loneliness.
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B
Yes.
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A
Because it separates you from familiar. It separates you from the kind of patterns that you live into, even how you interact with people. As you grow, you start to look at the world through a different lens. And it does get lonely when you outgrow old beliefs or, you know, you create circles of loneliness, because who do you have conversations with anymore? So a good friend of mine, Wade. I mean, we've known each other. How long have Wade and I known each other? 30 years.
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B
30 some years. Yeah.
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A
And it's so interesting. He's probably One of the, I don't know, two or three men in my life that I can literally have a similar conversation to what you and I might get into in terms of our own understanding of ourselves, our learning, what we're going through, what we're bumping up against. So I can have these. They're pretty deep and profound conversation. And I just, last week had waited, reached out, and we got into a call, and I go, dude, like, if somebody is listening to this call, I don't know what they would think. You know, most people, so it's really great to have that, but it's lonely. You can't have those kind of conversations with just anybody. They'll think you're losing your shit.
- [15:03]
B
No, that's true. And I think that's. They. They say it's lonely at the top. And I don't. I don't think that is the. The right analogy. But I do know that every iteration or every transformation I've gone through, it's been quite painful knowing that there are certain people that just either don't want to come with me on that journey. Journey, or they naturally or intuitively find other people that they hang out with. Or. So I've always learned over the last. Or I've learned over the last little while that it's not about me. If I'm growing and I'm committed to growth and I'm not rejecting or leaving anyone behind intentionally, I'm just on my own path, then I have to trust that when people are on their own path and their own journey, that they're not rejecting me at the same time. And that's why, you know, when you think about Wade and some of my, you know, friends from the past, whether it's, you know, Cassera or Sue or, you know, people that I've known for a hundred years and that know me at every. Pretty much every iteration of myself, and they still love me anyway. I mean, how cool is that?
- [16:04]
A
Yeah, that is very cool. And we're pretty good that way. But anyways, the whole point is the cost of personal transformation is loneliness. Yeah. And especially for those who are new to the journey of self mastery or going to the next level of being the best version of themselves, it may mean that some relationships no longer serve each other. Like, you know, it's not about them being wrong, you being right. It's just that we sometimes outgrow each other in where we are in the journey. So this is a big one, I think, a real common one. And that is the cost of progress is Often embarrassment.
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B
Right.
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A
So progress, especially as you're working through things, you're going to make little mistakes. It's not going to land certain ways. And so times you're going to look maybe a little foolish. So if you're not willing to look a little foolish, if you're not willing to feel a little embarrassed, you're in fact going to be stuck. You're not going to move forward. If you're worried about what people are going to think of you and be embarrassed by that and let the embarrassment stop you, you are just not going to push, you know, whether it be, I don't know, publishing something, shooting a video. It's interesting. Good friend of mine trains a lot of realtors, and we've been through this ourselves many years ago now, but when you first started. When we first started doing video content and Facebook lives or Instagrams or those kinds of things, you go through the phase of caring what people think, and then after a while you do it and you just don't. It doesn't matter. You just keep pushing it out there. And I think there's a fundamental around that. It's like the podcast. We could be. What do people think of us? All the stories that you get into, as soon as you put yourself a little bit out there in a public kind of way, you have to be willing. The people who are attracted to the conversations you're having, as we've learned, are going to be attracted to the conversations we're having. And for those who think you're a fool. Okay, well, don't watch me.
- [18:15]
B
That's what the delete button's for.
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A
Yeah. Yeah. Play pause. I don't know if you want to add to that, but ultimately that's, you know, that's something to. The cost of progress. Because progress is never or rarely perfect. It's always got something that goes wrong or something that happens. But your progress is going to be judged. It just is. And if you can't live with what we would call, or if you're getting, it's okay to be embarrassed by it. That is human nature. But you have to be prepared to live with that embarrassment or you got to get over it so that you're not embarrassed at all by it.
- [18:48]
B
Yeah, exactly. Because you know who's perfect. I'm certainly not.
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A
Yeah, I get. I don't know. I. I think I. I was gonna say I think I embarrass her easily, but I don't know if I do. I think sometimes I'm just. It doesn't matter. I'm not paying attention. It doesn't matter.
- [19:03]
B
Yeah, that's exactly right.
- [19:05]
A
The cost of powerful or meaningful relationships is what we would call hard or what I call courageous conversations. The willingness to have courageous conversations is what leads to meaningful relationships. Because if you can have those courageous conversations and work through it, you've just taken the quality of that relationship and communication to the next level. If you're not willing to have those courageous conversations, you're going to live within a relationship that you don't align on, that is irritating, that grows apart. I'll leave it there. But courageous conversations, I have a methodology for it. Even. I've supported people in having courageous conversations. I've had to have them myself. I don't like them, but it's the cost of meaningful relationships. So do you want to expand on that?
- [20:00]
B
I do an exercise called Straight Talk with my clients and tried to do it with staff, et cetera, and really create an opportunity for a safe place to have the courage to say what it is that you need to say in a courageous way. Because what I find sometimes it's not about the conversation. I think what most people are afraid of is the reaction, especially if you've had, you know, the. A couple of attempts of trying to speak your truth or say what you need to say and to be heard and to try to feel understood and that you've had reactions of people, you know, making you wrong or gaslighting you or saying you're crazy or that's not right or da, da, da. And it creates an argument. So what the straight talk does is. Creates a space where the person that has the time and the. And the space and the compassion to bumble around until they can get to what it is that they're saying without interruption. And the person that's perceiving the straight talk, their role is to sit there and take it and listen to it. And the only thing they're able to say at the end of it is, is there anything else?
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A
But you set the environment for that.
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B
I do, 100%. It doesn't happen overnight.
- [21:06]
A
Right? It does. You've created the environment for that. You have agreements in place with the team that you're doing straight talk, and you do a straight talk segment. But I'm gonna give you an example of a courageous conversation. So I sit down, somebody approaches me this weekend, I have a conversation with them, and I was in an event all weekend, so I have people approaching me, ask questions, and just because of. That's what I'm there to help. And Support around. So this is a small business owner has a partner that's gone off the rails. They've been a partner for a couple of years. And so spending money recklessly or not in agreement, all these things going on. By the way, they live in different provinces, different time zones. I'm very familiar with that. You and I are very familiar with that. We've had partners that are different time zones, all the, all the things that they were talking about. And it was interesting because as he explained the scenario to me and what it was when they first got together and then they're building the business and they've just all of a sudden misaligned on where money should be spent and they're trying to get the startup going. They have. He's getting like, he's at the effect of the spending and he's not getting the bills till later. So been there, done that with partners. So I said to him, I said, so when you had the conversation with him, what was his response? And he said, well, I haven't talked to him about it. And I go, well, why not? And he goes, well, he's really important. And I don't, you know, like, I don't want to start a riff because he's a big part of the business and I need him to do this so that we can pull this off. And so, you know, this was an interesting conversation. So as I worked through with him, I gave him some languaging to have that conversation. I mean, we got to a lot of different things about the cost of not having the conversation because I've been in that situation. And you know, the, when somebody looked, when I said, when they asked me, they actually said, so why are you still in partnership? I said, well, the cost of getting out of this partnership is freaking huge. There's a, there's a big cost of getting out of this partnership. And they said, well, what's the cost of being in the partnership or what's the cost of staying in the partnership? And so then you start to realize, anyways, long story short, when we have the courageous conversation, so I sat with him and my guidance to him was a methodology that works often, and that is to sit down with the other person and you literally shine a light on it. And there's two different ways to do it. One is Brene Brown was years ago. Rather than blame somebody, you go, when you do this, the story I'm telling myself is that you don't, whatever the case be, the story I'm telling myself is you don't Respect me. The story I'm telling myself is that you totally disagree with me. The story I'm telling myself. So you're making it about you. You're not saying it's true. You're saying, the story I'm telling myself when you do that is that you don't respect me or that you're being underhanded or you're not being straight with me. So it's your story. And that gives the opportunity for somebody to step in and go, well, that's just a story you're telling yourself, because that's not what it means at all. So it's a. It's a. It's a gentle way to kind of take responsibility for it without playing the blame game and being harsh. Then the other methodology, the method that I've used myself several times, which is to sit down in front of the person and go, you know something? I gotta have a really uncomfortable conversation. I wish I didn't have to have this conversation with you. It's really uncomfortable for me.
- [24:33]
B
And then you do it.
- [24:35]
A
So it's all to say this hard or courageous conversations are, in fact, the cost of meaningful relationships. But if you're willing to work through it, you can get to it. I spoke with the guy that I was talking about, and he had reached out to his partner. And although he didn't get into a courageous conversation, he approached it differently and realized that he was at risk of breaking up with this partner because he was so angry. But he realized that a lot of his frustration and his annoyance with his partner was the breakdown on communication. And it was his responsibility to have that conversation. So he got to that, and when he had the next conversation with him, he realized, okay, I just got to clean it up at my end.
- [25:24]
B
That's so good.
- [25:26]
A
So anyways, that was that. Okay. The cost of excellence. We all want to be excellent, but the cost of excellence is criticism. So the higher you climb, the more visible you become. I'm trying to think who it was is, oh, gosh. And I'm not going to do it justice. So I won't say it. It was. Clinton talked about, you know, being the president. It's like a monkey, you know, the more. The higher you climb the tree, the more your ass is exposed.
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B
Yeah, totally.
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A
Right.
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B
Well, it's like the tall poppy syndrome, too. Right? Like, stand out, and they just want to chop your head off.
- [26:02]
A
Yeah. So the cost of excellence is, in fact, criticism, because the higher you climb, more your hatch is exposed. The more people see you, the more visible you become. And if we look at criticism as failure, it's going to shut us down. And feedback that we often get is from individuals who aren't willing to do what you're doing, who aren't willing to climb that high or to stand out or to take that on. So it's going to invite everything from judgment to envy and misunderstandings. And so we have to actually be able to listen to the criticism and extract the truth from it. You know, what is noise and what is valuable in terms of what we're trying to achieve. So in the world of excellence, we know that it requires a pretty thick skin and a clear heart. So in other words, when I look at that, where are you coming from? So when I hear a clear heart, you know, where are you coming from in whatever it is that you're trying to achieve in the world of excellence? Thoughts?
- [27:12]
B
Yeah. Even when you're speaking to somebody, if you're coming from a place of compassion, of clarity, of truth, of intention, but the other person receives it, you know, as criticism or as, you know, negativity, it's really difficult to keep wanting to strive for excellence. But it's also. Can be a. It can be a distraction. Because the term that comes up all the time in my world is perfection. I want to be perfect. I'm training so that I can be perfect. And I say, you know what? I think that's a big excuse. Why don't you shoot for perfection and let's land on excellence and see what happens. And that shift just is like, oh, yeah, I can control excellence. I can control my training, I control my thoughts, I can control my inner environment. I can, you know, take things on or not take things on by choice. If I'm committed to excellence. And with that, it also creates a bit of a smaller tribe. And, you know, excellence begets excellence. And it's the top 10% or the 1% of the 10% that I see out in the world. In my world, whether it's sport or business, that are prepared to take the hits and to stand alone and to be vilified. And, you know, I'm going through it a little bit right now, and haters gonna hate.
- [28:29]
A
Right.
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B
And I gotta stay committed to the excellence and to the commitment and the intention that. That I have and that we have to. To the work that we're doing in the world.
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A
Yeah. You know, when you think about perfection and then, you know, in your specific instance, I mean, you're talking about a sport that's judged. So what's the benchmark? Of perfect, given that it's a judge sport. And on any given day, perfect. Okay. So, well, perfect would be all the judges say, you got this, you know, you got X. Well, on any given day, where's the judge's head at? What did. Where did you know? So how do you benchmark perfect? That's always a bit of a problem, isn't it?
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B
Totally is.
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A
So, okay, so that one just as a, just as a kind of a recap. The cost of excellence is criticism. And I think that's something that we want to kind of pay attention to is that even that criticism can link back to embarrassment. So these are all things. The cost of growing, the cost of being a best version of yourself, the cost of upping your game. This is what it takes. This is an interesting one. And that is the cost of success. Is boredom true?
- [29:42]
B
Right?
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A
And, and, and it's so true because we talk about success, it isn't glamorous. So let's just go back to what we often talk about is your athletes are standing on the podium, okay? They just want a gold. They want whatever. They're on a podium. And that is what people want. That's the end game. That's what they want. What they don't understand is in behind the scenes is the cost of success is not glamorous. It's repetitive, it's boring. It's built on just really mundane consistency, discipline, good habits, you know, it's the same reps, the same patterns and rituals.
- [30:27]
B
And the same food.
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A
The same food, you know, and so that's the grind. That is the grind. And so boredom definitely gets in there. And it's just the grind. And that's the difference between those who want to master it and you know, everybody else is quitting and they're willing to go through the grind. They're willing to go through what we would call the boredom because the vision they have of the outcome, what they would, what their. What their definition of success and whatever they're doing is they're willing to go through it. And part of that is just the boredom. The. The grind, if you will, the struggle every day, that's the toll that you pay.
- [31:12]
B
So true. And we can take it to another level too, is when you achieve your success or you get to the top of the podium or you've cut that giant deal and you're sitting on your, you know, 72 foot yacht, then what? Because there's that important boredom too, right? It's like that's what drives a lot of people back, whether it's to sport or back into business is because this is boring. I mean, I achieved all this stuff, and now what?
- [31:35]
A
So at the end of the day, we have to ask ourselves the questions, you know, what is the price that we're willing to pay for having the life by design that we want to be the best version of ourselves? It comes at a cost, and it comes at a cost of doing it. As we bring our awareness to it and we say to ourselves, what are we willing to pay the price for these things? And this is what it's going to take. You know, everything from understanding criticism to embarrassment to boredom. I mean, all of these things are just the price that we have to pay to have a meaningful life, because that's what we have a vision for. And ultimately we can say that the world belongs to those who see it for what it is. It's not easy at all. But then we have to say that it's worth it. And so I think if we embrace the meaningful struggle, if you will, if we can wrap our arms around the grind, then we can pull off and go to the next level of whatever it is we're trying to achieve. So I guess the questions we ask ourselves is, what is the cost you're currently paying or resisting paying? You may think, well, I'm paying a lot right now, and I hate it. I'm tired of paying the price for this. And then there's a part of it which is resisting. So what are you resisting? I'm not willing to pay that price. Well, if you're not willing to pay that price, change the goal, change the vision. Because there's a price to pay and.
- [33:08]
B
It'S not just financial. And I think when people hear cost and price, they think financial. And to your point, what's the cost financially of not doing something, of not sticking to your goals, to not having your life being a little bit boring every once in a while? Because the return on investment is. If you're talking about life and you're talking about energy, what's the return on the investment of the energy you're putting into something? And the cost is, can, can sometimes be all consuming when it comes to thinking of it just being financial. And I think as we look at the process and if we just go quickly over the seven things again, the cost of entry into any of this is definitely worth the risk. And if we can just step into it with a little bit of certitude, with the attitude of certainty and take the step in those directions, I think the cost is, is Definitely worth it.
- [34:01]
A
Well, and I'm, you know, I'm certainly used the phrase often, which is, you know, the, the juice isn't worth the squeeze. And although I'll put a monetary on that, so somebody will say, come and do this this weekend and blah, blah, blah, and I'll go, yeah, the juice isn't worth the squeeze. And although I often have a financial kind of whatever tag on that, it isn't always that. Sometimes it's like, no, I don't want to. That's not what I want to do. That is not in alignment with who I want to be, how I want to show up, what I. How I want to. So there is a. There is a conscious. I realize that I'm saying, I'm not saying it that way, but I'm consciously saying I'm not willing to pay the price for that because it also isn't part of how I'm saying I'm going to be the best version of myself or it's not the life by design that I'm trying to create. So, yeah, a little bit of clarity there. So here's the seven. Let's recap them. I wrote them down, of course. Uncertainty is the cost of achievement. Anything you want to just touch on as we go through that. No, imposter syndrome is the cost of growth. You got to be able to go through that. Loneliness is the cost of personal transformation, because as you change, there are people who will likely leave your life. Embarrassment is the cost of progress. If you're not willing to look foolish, you're going to have a hard time. Hard or courageous conversations are the cost of meaningful relationships. So we have to be able to have those courageous conversations and work through it. The cost of excellence is going to be criticism. Here's the thing about excellence, though, and criticism. We need that criticism. We call it constructive criticism or whatever. You know, you want to draw it, but that's it, right? We know that it's part of it. The cost of success we just talked on is boredom and being able to live with the grind, the things that aren't as fun. So there you go. I think we covered them all. I think we got it all.
- [36:10]
B
I think they're great. And I think it's a really important conversation. And to expand on when we're having conversations with people is that, you know, now filtering it through, okay, well, what's the cost of this if I do it? What's the cost if I don't do it? Emotionally, financially, spiritually, energetically? Like, there is a cost of doing things. It's like indecision is still a decision, right? Inaction is still an action. So I really love the way that this conversation flowed. Thanks, son.
- [36:41]
A
Well, I think it's kind of cool, too. I think we just want to touch on one thing, you know, because you just brought it to. When you said it. It was as I realized, you know, the cost of entry. But you just named it. There's a cost of entry. Take the price, the dollar amount. There is no dollar. Let's. Let's not. This isn't about money at all in this particular case. So when we talk about the cost of entry, think about it. From the seven areas of life. Mental, physical, spiritual, familial, health, physical. Right? I mean, there's. What are the costs that we're paying in any of those seven areas of life? And, you know, you and I talk a lot about the seven areas of life and the health in any of those. You know, the. You know, it's not just the health. Physical health. It's your health. Mentally, physically, spiritually, financially, familial, relationally. Those are all, you know, what is the health in those seven areas of life? This is really. What is the price that you're willing to pay or not willing to pay. And you can actually categorize it in those seven areas of life. It's genius. Genius. I'm telling you. Okay. That's all I got. I thought it was a good episode. I love that. Seven costs of entry.
- [37:50]
B
I love it that we connected into the seven areas of life. That was fun.
- [37:54]
A
I know. I'm so smart.
- [37:55]
B
You are. Well, that was me, anyways.
- [37:59]
A
Okay. No, you made it. Okay. We could. We collectively connected it.
- [38:04]
B
All right. That was fun.
- [38:06]
A
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening. If you found value in the podcast, please take the time to rate and review and share with others. Share with your friends as it is my goal to always improve and to provide the highest value for you, the listener. If you have any comments, suggestions, or questions you'd like answered, please email me at CEO@raincanada.com. that's CEO@reincanada.com. i look forward to hearing from you. And until next time. Patrick.
- [38:40]
B
Oh.