The Everyday Millionaire: Mindset Matters #212 — Throwback Thursday: The Six Human Needs That Shape Your Life

Hosts: Patrick Francey & Stephanie Hanlon Francey
Release date: November 20, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode dives into the “Six Human Needs” — core motivations that shape all human behavior, decisions, and fulfillment. Patrick and Stephanie explore how understanding these needs in ourselves and others is essential not just for entrepreneurs or leaders, but for anyone seeking personal growth, purpose, and deeper relationships.

In a lively, candid conversation, they unpack each of the six needs—certainty, variety, significance, connection, growth, and contribution—linking psychology research and real-life experiences. Stephanie draws from her work as an Olympic mental performance coach, and the couple’s coaching practice, to provide actionable insight for listeners.

Key Discussion Points

1. Introduction to The Six Human Needs

[04:22]
Patrick introduces the concept, citing research from psychologist Chloe Matinee, and frames the six needs:

• Certainty
• Variety
• Significance
• Connection
• Growth
• Contribution

Stephanie relates these to Maslow’s foundational needs (food, shelter, sex), emphasizing the ongoing evolution of what drives us as we grow.

Quote:

"When we start to understand ourselves better and things that actually impact our own behavior... we, in fact, learn about the needs of others." — Patrick [02:46]

2. Certainty: The Need for Safety and Stability

[05:51]
Certainty is about seeking security, predictability, and control in life—financially, relationally, and emotionally.

• People high in this need strive for control, sometimes manifesting as anxiety when things are unpredictable.
• Stephanie emphasizes the importance of certainty in guiding clients toward their goals, even as she acknowledges life’s fundamental uncertainty.

Quotes:

"Certainty is a base human need. It's no different than food, shelter, sex. We want to know what's going to happen." — Stephanie [08:01]
"My certainty can squish your doubt. You just need to stay true to what you said you wanted..." — Stephanie [08:24]

3. Variety: Embracing Change and Uncertainty

[09:22]
As a counterpoint to certainty, variety is the need for novelty, challenge, and change. The hosts discuss how entrepreneurs must often live with uncertainty, and how managing the dance between security and chaos is vital.

Stephanie calls this the "Champions Paradox"—coaching athletes and clients to balance certainty with enough uncertainty to allow for magic, learning, and growth.

Quotes:

"If we don't have both certainty and uncertainty as human beings, we don't grow." — Stephanie [13:38]
"We need variety. We kind of crave that variety. As much as we like to get into some routine... we also take on lots of projects." — Patrick [10:39]

4. Significance: The Desire to Matter

[13:39]
Significance is about feeling special, important, or acknowledged. For Patrick, this relates directly to meaning in his work—without meaning, motivation quickly wanes.

Stephanie points out that significance can become tangled with ego, and everyone must define what significance truly means for themselves—often, being honest about what drives us brings clarity and permission to pursue fulfillment openly.

Quotes:

"Do we matter to our children... our grandkids, or in our businesses where nobody needs to know what we've done?" — Stephanie [15:29]
"If my work doesn't have meaning, I'm going, 'why am I doing this?'" — Patrick [13:56]

5. Connection: The Need to Belong

[16:25]
Connection is about feeling a sense of belonging and closeness—first with oneself, then with others (family, friends, community).

• The hosts discuss their differences as introvert (Stephanie) and extrovert (Patrick).
• Stephanie emphasizes the importance of connecting with oneself through meditation and reflection before seeking external connection.

Quotes:

"Connection starts with myself. I need to connect... through meditation, through journaling, through knowing what I want to be seen as." — Stephanie [19:00]
"We want to be loved. We want to be cared for. We want... to be connected with like-minded people." — Patrick [18:04]

6. Growth: Pursuing Progress, Not Perfection

[22:48]
Growth is striving to reach new heights—personally, professionally, intellectually, or spiritually.

• Patrick urges listeners to reflect on real progress by looking backward (“gap and gain”), instead of focusing only on the future.
• Stephanie highlights that growth isn’t always about leaps and bounds—sometimes, it's tiny shifts that matter most.

Quotes:

"What’s the smallest shift you can make to get the biggest result?" — Stephanie [24:32]
"Growth isn’t about leaps and bounds. It really is shifting the trajectory slightly." — Patrick [26:17]
"Tonight... we took a moment and each one of us said, 'here's what I've learned in the last year.'" — Stephanie [28:01]

7. Contribution: Giving Beyond Yourself

[30:12]
Contribution is the desire to make a difference. The hosts see contribution as their core motivation for the podcast and coaching work, valuing generosity for its own sake.

Stephanie stresses that true contribution is given “without hooks”—with no expectation or agenda, just the joy of giving and impact.

Quotes:

"Being a contribution is a really big part. And understanding that that's often what drives people..." — Patrick [32:08]
"It's unrestricted... our giving doesn't have hooks... no hidden agenda." — Stephanie [32:47]

Notable Moments & Quotes

• The Champions Paradox:
  "Both [certainty and uncertainty] need to exist at the same time or we can't break through our fixed mindset." — Stephanie [12:44]

• On Honesty With Our Needs:
  "...when she told the truth and she said, 'you know what? Business and significance is my highest value, everything softened.'" — Stephanie [21:48]

• On Measuring Growth:
  "We have to really honor the growth by looking and kind of saying, what have I gained over the past year, six months, three years?" — Patrick [27:16]

• On Contribution’s True Intent:
  "Our contribution and our giving doesn't have hooks... we don't have a hidden agenda." — Stephanie [32:47]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [04:22] Introduction to the Six Human Needs
• [05:51] Certainty & Control
• [09:22] Variety & Thriving in Uncertainty
• [13:39] Significance & Meaning
• [16:25] Connection: Introversion, Extroversion, and Belonging
• [22:48] Growth: Progress and Self-Reflection
• [30:12] Contribution: Giving Without Expectation

Call to Action & Reflection

Reflection Exercise:
Patrick encourages listeners to self-assess and identify which needs are currently “buckets to fill.” Is your certainty bucket low? Do you crave more connection or growth? Use these needs as tools to unlock new motivation and direction.

Live Session Invite:
They reiterate their upcoming live working session on decision-making (September 6th) for listeners wanting to develop this essential mindset skill.

Closing Thoughts

Stephanie and Patrick’s open, insightful conversation provides valuable “food for thought” for anyone looking to understand the driving forces in themselves and others. The episode blends personal anecdotes, coaching wisdom, and practical advice, inviting listeners to reflect honestly on their own needs, motivations, and next steps.

"Mostly we get energized when our needs are in fact being met." — Patrick [34:22]