Mindset Matters - Episode #230 - Why You Keep Feeling Stuck and What to Do About It

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Everyday Millionaire Mindset Matters

Episode #230 – Why You Keep Feeling Stuck and What to Do About It
Hosts: Patrick Francey & Stephanie Hanlon Francey
Date: March 26, 2026

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Overview

In this episode, husband-and-wife duo Patrick Francey and Stephanie Hanlon Francey, an Olympic mental performance coach, take a deep dive into the concept of feeling “stuck” – in business, in relationships, or in life. Drawing on their personal stories and extensive coaching experience, they break down why being stuck is a universal experience, explore the psychology (including Joe Dispenza’s famous teachings), and share practical strategies and self-reflection questions to help listeners get “unstuck” and move toward the life they want.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Stuck Is Normal—Even for Coaches and High Achievers

• Everyone gets stuck: Both Patrick and Stephanie acknowledge their own experiences of feeling stuck, debunking the myth that high performers or coaches are immune (01:03–01:22).
• Momentum and setbacks: Stephanie highlights how frustrating it can be to lose momentum, especially after a period of growth:

  “The hardest part is when you’ve got some good momentum going and then all of a sudden you feel like you hit the wall and nothing good is happening.” – Stephanie (01:22)

2. Changing Your Reality Requires Changing Your Personality

• Joe Dispenza’s quote:
  Patrick introduces a foundational quote that sets the episode theme:

  “If my personality creates my personal reality, and my personality is made of how I think, how I act, and how I feel, if I want to create a new personal reality, a new life … I’m going to have to change my personality. And most people try to create a new reality with the same personality.” – Patrick quoting Joe Dispenza (02:20)

• Execution is hard:
  They discuss the challenge of executing deep personality change and whether people are willing to do the necessary work. (03:06–04:11)
• Ego, identity, and social risk:
  Stephanie explains why change is scary—our egos crave consistency, and changing can mean risking rejection or re-negotiating our place in our social circles. (04:11–05:19)

3. Refinement vs. Reinvention

• Degrees of change:
  For some, change is a dramatic transformation; for others, it’s subtle refinement over years.
• Role of curiosity:
  Stephanie emphasizes that curiosity is a key driver of change and growth:

  “If I wasn’t curious … I would never have become an Olympian. … If you’re willing to change your personal reality ... you have to take conscious responsibility for shifting how you show up.” (05:19–07:15)

• Personal example:
  They share stories from their own relationship—how Patrick’s openness and curiosity shifted his trajectory.

4. The Power of Questions for Getting Unstuck

• Coaching isn’t about giving answers:

  “Everybody has the answers. Our job [as coaches] is to ask them great questions that get them to the answer.” – Patrick (10:35)

• 4 Essential Questions to Get Unstuck: (11:53, 28:41)
  1. What am I avoiding?
  2. Where do I start?
  3. How do I win today?
  4. What are the habits that are interfering with where I want to go?

5. Deep Dive: The Four Questions

1. What Am I Avoiding? (13:34–16:58)

• Common areas of avoidance: Hard conversations, taking responsibility, risking judgment, or simply action vs. motion.
• Memorable moment:
  Stephanie: “Sometimes it’s easier just to play the victim and go, you know, life is happening to me ... I don’t have to take responsibility.” (14:49)
• Coaching perspective:
  Sometimes you need outside help to see what you’re avoiding—another person or coach can ask the critical questions you’re not asking yourself.

2. Where Do I Start? (17:55–19:48)

• Find the next step:
  Don’t get overwhelmed by big goals; specify the outcome you want and break it into bite-sized actions.
• Stephanie’s athlete tip:

  “Instead of saying, what do you want to do? What would you like to learn today? What’s the one thing that maybe would move you forward?” (18:56)

3. How Do I Win Today? (19:48–22:50)

• Defining daily victory:
  Set 3 achievable actions each day. Repetition and consistency matter.
• Recovery counts as a win:
  Stephanie:

  “I will build in rest or some kind of recovery and see that as moving my life forward. … Our society doesn’t honor recovery.” (21:21)

• Memorable quote:

  "How do I win today is what’s important now—W-I-N.” (29:16)

4. What Are the Habits Interfering With Where I Want to Go? (23:20–27:09)

• Self-inventory:
  Take a personal inventory of your habits—both the obvious and subtle “energy leaks.”
• Examples:
  Misplacing items, disorganized routines, open-door policies at the wrong times. These can all sabotage progress.
• Light moment:
  Stephanie jokes, “That’s what it’s going to say on my tombstone: Stephanie Hanlon, where’s my phone?” (25:35)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the need for honest reflection:

  “You need to go. You need to lean into that. Because it’s those things that we’re avoiding. It’s those dark, scary caves that we’re afraid to enter where—as I don’t know what the quote is—but that’s where the treasure lies.” – Patrick (15:06)

• On recovery as progress:

  “Our society doesn’t honor recovery...but when we’re recovering, we have more strength to go into the next level.” – Stephanie (21:21)

• Simple yet profound:

  “If you want a different cake, you have to use a different recipe. You can’t just keep using the same recipe and expect to get a different cake.” – Stephanie quoting her mother (11:38)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening & context around “stuck” – 00:53–02:19
• Joe Dispenza quote & the challenge of change – 02:20–04:11
• Identity, social change, and personal stories – 04:11–08:49
• The refinement/reinvention distinction – 05:25–09:49
• The power of questions; introduction of 4 key questions – 10:35–12:31
• Breakdown of the 4 questions:
  • What am I avoiding? – 13:34–16:58
  • Where do I start? – 17:55–19:48
  • How do I win today? – 19:48–22:50
  • Habits interfering with progress – 23:20–27:09
• Recap of four questions & “what’s important now” (W.I.N.) – 28:25–29:31

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Takeaways & Practical Tools

• Self-reflection is foundational: Use the four-question framework regularly to unlock why you’re stuck.
• Ask for help: A coach, mentor, or even a trusted friend can help you see your blind spots and challenge your assumptions.
• Curiosity unlocks growth: Embrace curiosity about alternative ways of being and living.
• Value rest and recovery: Productivity isn’t everything; planned downtime is critical for sustainable progress.
• Small wins compound: Daily, intentional action—no matter how modest—creates real change over time.

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Tone & Language

Conversational, supportive, and humorous, with authentic anecdotes and thoughtful back-and-forth between the hosts. Patrick and Stephanie blend practical strategies with real-life stories and don’t shy away from admitting their own continued journey with mindset and personal development.

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For those feeling stuck: Start with the four questions. Be honest with yourself. Seek support if needed—and remember, “If you want a different cake, you have to use a different recipe.” (11:38)

Transcript

[Patrick O]

Foreign.

[Podcast Host]

Welcome to this episode of the Everyday Millionaire Mindset Matters podcast, where I'm joined by my wife, Olympic mental performance coach Stephanie Hanlon. Francie. In these episodes, Stephanie and I have a conversation about the different aspects of what we refer to as Mindset Matters because we believe that for those who are awake, we are living in and through the most impactful time in history. Your view of the world is the filter for how you will experience the evolution and changing dynamics of it. Our intention is to provide you with ideas, nutritious food for thought, and some tools that you can use to help you in being your greatest self and living your best life. Listen in. Enjoy.

[Patrick O]

Stephanie.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Hi, hon.

[Patrick O]

So I know that, you know, I'm a mere mortal, so this happens to me, but I don't suspect it happens to you. But do you ever feel stuck?

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Oh, yeah, 100%. Yeah.

[Patrick O]

It's getting stuck's pretty. You know, we go through phases of life, of business in our own personal development in business. You know, it's like we can get there where we just feel like we're stuck, like we're working hard or we're feeling like we're treading water. You've had that before?

[Stephanie Hanlon]

100%. And I think the hardest part is when you've got some good momentum going and then all of a sudden you feel like you hit the wall and nothing good is happening. And it's like, I need. I just need. I need something. I need a win.

[Patrick O]

Yeah, you need a win. So, you know, here's the thing. You know, you and I have both worked with many clients. It's a common thing. You know, when we're working with a coaching client of some sort, business, athletes, whatever, it's pretty common to feel stuck. But how do you get unstuck and depending on where you feel stuck and what do you feel stuck about? So I want to think about, in our own kind of thought process, it's always about who you need to become to achieve the goal. It is always about who you need to become. So I wanted to go into it with that. And both you and I are fans of Joe Dispenza. And so there's a quote that you're familiar with that I went, oh, isn't this interesting? I wanted to give it a different context. So I'm going to give you the quote and then we're going to talk a little bit about it. You ready?

[Stephanie Hanlon]

I'm ready.

[Patrick O]

So Joe Dispenza in an interview said, you know, if we woke up every morning and you truly Made time to think like this, okay? If my personality creates my personal reality, and my personality is made of how I think, how I act, and how I feel, if I want to create a new personal reality, a new life, if you want to go to that extreme, I'm going to have to change my personality. And most people try to create a new reality, a new personal reality with the same personality.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Oh, right.

[Patrick O]

And it doesn't work.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Doesn't work.

[Patrick O]

You literally have to become someone else. Now that on its own, can make you feel stuck just thinking in those terms, or maybe even that we realize that who we are being is getting in the way of us achieving the goal. So the thought process that Joe shared in that particular bit, it sounds cool, right? And it's kind of funky. You know, your personal reality is about your personality. It's kind of cool, right? But how do you execute on that? So think about it. You literally have to rewire much of your operating system, which is the work he does. Like a total rewire, you know, seven days and all the things that he does. I don't want to go there right now. What if we just take it for face value? Just take that quote for face value. Is it possible to do this level of work or even do we want to do. People in general want to do that level of work? So I just open that up with that context. What's your thoughts?

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Oh, man, my brain's going in so many different directions. Because when I think about it, if we're. We're wired to be consistent, so our ego want doesn't want to die, right? So once we decide what our personality is and what our identity is, especially if we're connected to any ideologies or any religious backgrounds or this is who I am conversations, Right? So the risk is that if you're willing to change your personal reality and you have to change your personality, but everyone, you know knows you as a certain personality, so what are you going to do? You're going to be completely rejected? Or are you going to show up and go, hey, actually, that's not who I was. You loved me or you were my friend, but that's not really who I am. So taking conscious responsibility for shifting how you show up in the world, I mean, it's not like all of a sudden, you know, you're going to become, you know, a standup comic if you've been really deadpan your whole life. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm saying, okay, all of a sudden you're showing up in alignment truly with your values and it's shifting other people's perception of who they thought you were.

[Patrick O]

Yeah, and that's a really great point. I don't know if it's always going to be, you know, for some people it'll be that dramatic.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

For others, I think you're going to change your personality. Absolutely it is.

[Patrick O]

But, but settle down. I, what I'm saying is I think there's various, various degrees of it. So in other words, for some people it's a refinement, for others it's blowed up. So go back to when I was a much younger man and you were a younger lady woman. And you know, it's pretty dramatic change that I went through at 30 something years old. That was a big wake up for me. So that was a big shift for me. As you recall, you were the catalyst for much of that back then. So now as I'm shifting or if I decide that I want to tweak or tune something, it's going to be more nuanced, I think more subtle is my point around it. So anything you want to say about that?

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Maybe.

[Patrick O]

That's a pretty good argument I just gave you there. So it's hard.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

I think it's a good argument. I think where I want to step in and have the conversation though is that you didn't know that there was options. You were locked into how you were raised, the thought process, the values of your, of your, you know, family of origin and the neighborhood that you lived in. And that was, that was really grounded, your personality was grounded in that guy. And then you meet me and I'm this random person who's got, you know, I don't live in any boxes. I have no limits. I want to try things. I'm on a spiritual path. I didn't know. I just liked you for who you were. You know, you were just, you know, this really nice guy, a skate guy. And you, you were really kind to me and believed in what I was doing and you didn't care that I was a wing nut. So I didn't have a lot of expectations.

[Patrick O]

Very handsome. You missed that.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Yeah. You were very, very handsome. Yes. At the time. Yeah. Still are.

[Patrick O]

Yeah. I've not aged well. Okay, so. No, that's a good point.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Okay, so I wasn't finished my thought.

[Patrick O]

Oh, okay, I interrupted you. Okay.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Again, my point is that I didn't need you to change. We started dating long after we met. Like we started dating years after we met. So I kind of had a good idea of what your personality was. And I was like, cool. I mean, I would certainly never marry this guy. I mean, come on. You know. But there was a point in time where you evolved into and engaged in conversations with me that I think you were more curious, and I think that's what I would invite, you know, us to create this conversation around is. Be curious. Like, if I wasn't curious around what it. I wanted to be an Olympian or I wanted to be Miss Canada. You know, I wanted, like, really big things. I wanted. I had really big goals, obviously not ever going to be Miss Canada, but being an Olympian was an option. So what did I have to do and who did I have to become? So I got on this little treadmill about what it would. What. What it would need to look like, and you kind of jumped on that treadmill with me and said, oh, yeah, I could totally see you being that. You know, what do you need from me to help you do that? So you stretched out of your historical personality and. And became curious, and we kind of joined in a conversation together that took us on a different path. So I don't think that you changed your personality, but you changed your personal reality when you got creative and when you got interested in someone like me who just didn't have those same kind of boundaries, didn't have those same kind of. Kind of limiting beliefs. Is that. Is that. Does that land?

[Patrick O]

Yeah, yeah, for sure. I think there's a lot of. It does. I think there's a. You know, the only part that I would add to it is that, you know, I didn't change for you. It was part of the process. I changed for me because I started to see what things weren't working for me, and getting the girl was one of the things that I wanted to achieve. So I knew I had to refine a little bit. I had to uplevel. So that was just part of an overarching, kind of. Or over. Yeah. Overarching goal and what I wanted to have life be about and who I wanted to be in that. And I mean, that became a lifelong journey because we're always changing, always shifting. So, I mean, am I still, you know, am I the person I was 10 years ago? Yes. Is my personality more refined? Is it changed? Some would say for sure. Others maybe wouldn't notice it so much. But I think we're both that way. I mean, that comes with aging and I guess wisdom, maturity, maybe, you know, but we're also in a light that we. We love. Like, we're. We're kind of always running to refine and be an up level our life. But we all already live a pretty great life. So this conversation isn't really about that. We. That's part of it.

[Podcast Host]

That's.

[Patrick O]

We're talking pretty dramatic changes in this conversation. What I'm suggesting is that that's for some it'll be that for others, it's more refinement. My point is, is that we can all feel stuck. We started the show with that. You can feel stuck at times. I feel stuck at times. So what I wanted to do was, you know, there's a phrase that we kind of grew up on or you know, when our early on in our coaching years, you know, we heard the statement, the quality of our life is a reflection of the quality of the questions we get asked or that we ask ourselves. We, over the years as coaches, we have come to believe that everybody has the answers. Our job in coaching somebody is to ask them great questions that get them to the answer. Is that fair?

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Yeah, exactly.

[Patrick O]

Okay. So that's one of the, you know, getting. Being stuck at different varying degrees could be in business, could be in relationship, could be, could be just, you know, things aren't working out the way you are. My point is, is that the, there is a solution to it, but it's not an easy solution because we can feel stuck and it's likely due to one of four things or a combination of those things. So there's four questions that you can ask yourself to help you determine what are the things that are keeping you stuck. And I'm, I'm going to go through those four things and then my thought is, is that we kind of unpack each one. You ready?

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Yeah. Hit me.

[Patrick O]

Okay. These are really good questions. And by the way, it plays into the Joe Dispenza quote because you need to ask yourself, like when you think about Joe Dispenza, you know, it's like, okay, if you want to change your personal reality, you have to shift your personality. Right? Like, that's big.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, but what the hell do I do?

[Patrick O]

Where do I even start?

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Well, can I just pause there for a sec?

[Patrick O]

Sure.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

My mom always said, like, if you want a different cake, you have to use a different recipe. You can't just keep using the same recipe and expect to get a different cake.

[Patrick O]

Okay. Okay. That's pretty profound in its simplicity. Okay.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

I know. I gotta write a book of all the things that my mom used to say.

[Patrick O]

Yeah. Okay, well, we just need to listen to all our podcasts. Okay. So the first question that we would ask ourselves, number one question of the four is, what am I avoiding? Okay, we're gonna unpack these next. Okay. Number two. Oh, I just said it. Where do I start? Number three, how do I win today? And number four, what are the habits that are interfering with where I want to go? That one's a bitch. They're all kind of challenging, I think.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Yeah. And it forces self reflection. And I think if I'm looking at the inertia and entropy over the last six or seven years that I'm seeing in, in the reality and people I'm working with or just, you know, out. In, in general, there's a lot of inertia. And what I mean by that is a body at rest stays at rest unless it's acted upon by an equal and opposite reaction. Right. That's. That's inertia. And, and most people want to stay stuck and they get an inkling or something that isn't quite right. They want to change, but don't change until something outside of them happens. An accident, for example, or something. They get an illness or something. There's something happens externally. It's very hard for me right now to see in the world where people want to actually change organically from the inside and go, you know, my life just doesn't quite feel how I want it to feel or what do I need to do to make some changes?

[Patrick O]

Okay, so having said all that, what I want to do is break down the first question. And if we just look at these a little, this is. These are good questions. So first question is if you're feeling stuck or maybe you're feeling stuck in a rut. Could be that. But either way, you're feeling stuck. You're either trying to move forward or you're trying to get out of a Ruth. So the first question we ask ourselves is, what am I avoiding now? Let's just think about that for a second, you know, and give some, just for context, give a couple of examples. What would be something that somebody would be avoiding in terms of moving forward? What came to me in this right away is, I think, courageous conversations.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

I was going to say the same.

[Patrick O]

Yeah, you're going to say the same. Yeah, look at that. Right. So there's a part of it, right. Which is, you know, sometimes you may have to have a conversation with your significant other, your partner, at some level, and suggest that, you know, something. I'm realizing where things are getting, where I'm getting in my way. So I think there's another part to that. What am I avoiding? And that is you're avoiding taking responsibility or holding yourself accountable for what the results are. You may be avoiding that.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Yeah, I get that. Because sometimes it's easier just to play the victim and just go, you know, life is happening to me and all this stuff is going on and the economy is. And, you know, the politicians are that, whatever. And I. So I don't have to take any responsibility. I don't have to make any choices or move my life forward because, you

[Patrick O]

know, well, there's that. And then. And think about it. So having tough conversations might be one of the things, but even avoiding the judgment of others so you don't do anything. So rather than risk showing up differently, one of, you know what? Maybe you're avoiding speaking. Speaking your mind in certain situations. You're avoiding doing that for fear of judgment. Maybe you're avoiding what you think is or what you perceive as risk. The point is, is that you have to look at what you're avoiding and you need to get right into that. You need to go. You need to lean into that. Because it's those things that we're avoiding. It's those dark, scary caves that we're afraid to enter where as. I don't know what the quote is, but that's where the treasure lies. And so I thought that was a really great question. What are you avoiding? Any other comments?

[Stephanie Hanlon]

I don't want to go any deeper, but. Because I know there's three more questions, but I don't know a lot of times that I would know what I was avoiding. And that's when I always found you were helpful or my coach was helpful because I didn't know I'd bump up against things and I'd be stuck. And it didn't occur to me until someone asked me the question, well, where are you incomplete? What are you avoiding? What are you not doing? I remember back in the day, we'd have all these really great ideas, or my young business partner would have these great ideas and they'd. I would just pick the phone up and hand it to her and she goes, oh, I can't do that. And she would avoid taking any responsibility. But, you know, the motion versus action, right? Like the motion of having the ideas and whatever, but the action or the. The avoidance of the action really was something that I was always. I was totally courageous when it came to that. So I think there's times we need help trying to figure out what it is that we're avoiding.

[Patrick O]

Well, I think what goes back to you know, the quality of our life is a reflection of the quality of the questions we ask ourselves. And sometimes we run into the challenge. What the heck. What. What questions are not.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

I'm not asking to ask us the questions. Somebody that's on the outside too, right? Yeah.

[Patrick O]

Well, now all you got to do is go and chat GPT and go. I'm feeling stuck in some area of my life. What are the top three questions I should be asking myself?

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Think of how isolating that's going to be down the road is like, everybody's gonna have their chat GPT boyfriend and therapist and girlfriend.

[Patrick O]

And I was listening to a very significant YouTuber. She actually said, you know, how serious is it? You know, I. The. She's given her AI such a personality is that she feels that she needs to be polite. Oh, no, she. She's British. So there's. Part of it is cultural, but, but, you know, I'm going. Hold on just a second.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Yeah, no, it's an it. It's not a him or a her yet. Come on.

[Patrick O]

Exactly. I know, but it's hard to get in there. Okay, number two, we're moving on. This is the big one. This is the one where I even actually said it. Where do I start? You know, how do you get started? And I think often it's, what is the outcome you're working backwards from? So in other words, at some level, you got to translate whatever that outcome is, whatever that goal into something that's bite sized, simpler, that you can do today, you know, one day at a time, one goal at a time. So it's. You got to break it down into something simple. But first off, you. You got to say, well, what. What is it I'm trying to achieve? It can't be I just not real happy with my life, or I'm feeling stuck in my business, or I'm feeling stuck in my relationship. You have to get really specific so that you even know what you're working backwards from so that you can break it down into just, okay, what can I just do today? Or make your goals really, really small so that you're doing one goal a day, you know, one goal at a time kind of thing.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Yeah, it's funny, you know, you go to all these workshops and you think about Tony Robbins or all these people that are like half their big, hairy, audacious goals, but nobody ever says, you know, what's the one step I need to take? You know, where do I start? And it's funny, you know, working with athletes, we. We can Only start. There's a. It's seasonal. Right. We can only start at the beginning every time. And that's really when you're a learner or a lifelong learner. For example, I always empower the skaters or the athletes or the. My business clients to saying, okay, well, what do you need to learn today? What is it? The one thing that you would like to learn today? So let's say, instead of saying, what do you want to do? What would you like to learn today? What's the one thing that maybe would move you forward? And I just shifted a little bit.

[Patrick O]

Okay, number three. How do I win today? This kind of goes to number two a little bit, but this one you will actually feed into number two. They can kind of go together. Right. Which is, what three things can I move forward on today? Okay, what three things can I move forward on today? Then do it. So it's got to be three things that, you know that you can get done today, and then you do it, and then you repeat that same thing tomorrow. Bite size. Break it down. Intentional.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

So how you eat an elephant.

[Patrick O]

Right. So even the other night, remember, we had supper, and I go, I. I didn't feel productive today. And you go, how do you measure that? And I had a. I have a way to measure it, Right?

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Yeah, you did. Remember what you said?

[Patrick O]

Yeah. This is one of those days where, you know, I don't feel like I moved something forward. I didn't have a call relationally. Like, there was just that, you know,

[Stephanie Hanlon]

it was things that matter to you and your values. And I think that's a good filter system for this question.

[Patrick O]

Oh, that's a really good.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Measure yourself by.

[Patrick O]

Yeah, what are you measuring it by? Yeah, that's a good one. And so for me, it just felt okay. I didn't make a new contact. I didn't move a relationship forward. There was something else. I don't remember what it was now, but anyways, so I do have measurements. At least in my mind. I have some way to measure it and say, okay, oh, you know, maybe on any given day, if I. If I don't generate some revenue, I'm going, you know, so that's.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Yeah, I get that. I think there's also something that I've really hit me in the. In the head for the last couple, especially the last quadrenity or quadrenity. Quadrennial with the. With the Olympians is that there's sometimes where I will build in rest or. Or some kind of recovery and see that as moving my life. Forward. I just don't think we have a society right now that really honors recovery. And I'm not talking, you know, sleeping, you know, in sleeping pods or crying rooms that, you know, whatever in corporate America. But I'm talking about true recovery, like, what is it we need to do? And seeing that as a win, seeing that recovery and rest and, and reconnecting. I know you, you're the most brilliant after a week on the beach somewhere. Like you come up with idea, you came up with the everyday millionaire on vacation.

[Patrick O]

It's true.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Right. So our how we judge ourselves around being productive. And that's why I said to you the other night at dinner is like, well, how, how are you measuring yourself? Because I saw you mowing the lawn or I saw you really walking the dogs and, and connecting. And so, so to me there was a win in that because when we're recovering, we also have more strength to go into the next level of maybe generating revenue or having the courage or the, you know, gas in the tank to reach out to a new contact a hundred percent.

[Patrick O]

That's where creativity comes in, is when you give yourself a break and a break from stuff.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Conscious recovery, it's a thing.

[Patrick O]

Yeah, for sure. Just shut things off and wander around. This morning I see, this morning I had a fire out back and I just sat around. Well, yeah, you joined me finally. When you get out of bed, have a coffee. It was nice, but that was there. I no electronics on. I just sitting gazing at the fire, having a coffee, not even music.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

It was so great to go out there and just be quiet with you and gaze into the fire like, like a couple of old people. It was awesome.

[Patrick O]

We are definitely a couple old people. Okay, final fourth question. People are going, okay, you guys get through it. Okay. What are the habits? This is a big one. What are the habits that are interfering with where I go? It's a good one.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

It is a good one. That is, yeah. And, and until you're really ready to do a self evaluation or like a personal inventory, which we did in shift. You remember that personal inventory we did? Was it shift?

[Patrick O]

Yes.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Oh my gosh, it was so good. It was so enlightening for people. And I know every once in a while, like I'll bring that exercise in and, and then I, I'm forced to do it myself. And when you check in on your personal inventory of where you're aligned on your values, or for me, where am I out of alignment, you know, and that, to me, that's, that's the data that's the data piece.

[Patrick O]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Around my habits. And my personal inventory is like, oh, here I go again.

[Patrick O]

Okay, let's put a couple of examples of habits. So there's little subtle habits, right? So there are things that I call energy leaks. So I have habits of, you know, what are the habits? You know, you've got habits. When you brush your teeth, you know, how do you prepare to go to bed? Those are all habits. What do you do in the morning? How do you go through your. Your morning. You have a morning routine. Those are all habits. I have habits where my. I don't. I don't ever lose my glasses. I rarely misplace my wallet. I mean, I can go, where the hell's my wallet? And I know it's going to be in one of three places.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Yeah, yeah. Because you can trust your habits around that. That's true.

[Patrick O]

And sometimes I go, rick, what I do with my wallet. But I know, like, it's habitual. I sometimes put my wallet where it's supposed. Where I always put it. And I'm not even thinking about it. It's become. But if I didn't have that, I'd always be the guy. Shit, I lost my wallet or I forgot my phone or I lost my phone. Right. Where's the keys? You're that person that. Those are examples to me. Simple examples of habits that are interfering. That's you. Yes. So you could be. You could support me even in a bigger, better lifestyle than you already do if you just cleaned up some of those habits.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

No. That's what it's going to say on my. On my tombstone, Stephanie Hanlon, where's my phone?

[Patrick O]

Where's my phone? I know.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Where's my keys?

[Patrick O]

And you get some weird thing. Well, I can't wear an Apple watch even though you would press the where's my phone? Button, you know, five times.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Well, I'm not into wearables. I'm not into the whole.

[Patrick O]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Internet of things.

[Patrick O]

Don't even get me going on that. Okay, so the point of it is, what other habits can you think of? If somebody's listening or one listener for sure will want to know, what's another example of a habit?

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Well, habit, routine. Are they. Are they the same thing?

[Patrick O]

Well, I think. I think good habits create routine, but there's also the habit of, you know, are you. Do you have the habit in a business perspective? What is your habit? Do you have a habit of, you know, you sit down in the morning, what is your protocol? What is the first things you do. Those are habits that can get in your way. And if you don't have those habits, then you could be into the world of distractions. It's the manager that says, I have an open door policy.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Yeah.

[Patrick O]

No, that never works. Especially in an office of, you know, multiple people. Then there's always a. That's a bad habit. That's a bad way of being. Yet you can take that same thing and say, I have an open door policy between two and three o' clock the second, you know, every second day, you know, something that controls matches, those are another form of habit. The point is, is that if you don't have those routines, those habits that get in your way of achieving what you say you want to achieve. I've got some just terrible habits that get in my way.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Like what?

[Patrick O]

I'm not prepared to talk about them.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

You know, it's funny, you know, you're talking about that, you know, people kind of knocking on your door and. And we used to call them, remember? Got a minutes?

[Patrick O]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Hey, got a minute?

[Patrick O]

Yeah, yeah.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Got a minute. And I would. I said at one point, we were at pro skate or something. I said, you know, you need to put on your door, like between 12 and 1. You can do all the. Got a minutes?

[Patrick O]

Yeah, totally.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Yeah, got a minutes. Do not happen outside of this particular time frame.

[Patrick O]

Yeah, I always, I was. When people would poke their head in my office and go, can I bother you for a second? I go, you just did. So what do you want?

[Stephanie Hanlon]

But it's also being responsible. That's the thing is like having your own boundary about that.

[Patrick O]

Okay.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Which is I. I've spend a lot of time building that for myself.

[Patrick O]

So this all goes back to that whole quote about Joe Dispenza. If you woke up every morning and you truly made time to say, if my personality creates my personal reality, and my personality is made of how I think, how I act and how I feel, if I want to create a new personal reality, a new life. That's pretty big. That's a new life thing. That's a big one. I'm gonna have to change those four things.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Go. 1, 2, 3, 4. Just say them out loud. First one was.

[Patrick O]

Oh, hold it. The four questions.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Yeah.

[Patrick O]

We have to ask ourselves.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Yeah. Because I think that really dovetails into Joe Dispenza's quote.

[Patrick O]

Yes. That was why I did that.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

I know, but just go through them again. Just wrap it up.

[Patrick O]

Okay. I was, I was gonna read Joe's. I was gonna read Joe's quote. First, okay, so the four things. Number one, what am I avoiding? Number two, where do I start? Okay, translate that into a bigger goal, into something small or simple that you can do every day or what? Day one. Like, I'm gonna get this done today one small bite at a time. Okay. Number three, how do I win today?

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Right?

[Patrick O]

This. Okay. And number four, what are the habits that are interfering with where I want to go? Those are the four.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Not your positive habits, your maybe quote unquote negative habits. And just go back to number three. And what I love and what I meant to mention before is how do I win today is what's important now. W I n. That's good.

[Patrick O]

One good reminder. What's important now?

[Stephanie Hanlon]

In this moment, like right now, what's important is this podcast. And after this podcast, what's important is feeding the dogs and then making dinner and. But right now, what's important is this podcast. In order for us to win this podcast, we need to be fully present. We need to be managing distractions. We need to make sure that we are totally grounded and set up to win this podcast. And I think that's. To me, that's such an important analogy.

[Patrick O]

Well said. So if you're feeling stuck, hopefully this has been helpful for you. Thank you, Stephanie.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Hey, hon. That was fun.

[Podcast Host]

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening. If you found value in the podcast, please take the time to rate and review and share with others. Share with your friends, as it is my goal to always improve and to provide the highest value for you, the listener. If you have any comments, suggestions, or questions you'd like answered, please email [e-mail] that's ceor. I look forward to hearing from you. And until next time, Patrick O.