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Despite everything you've done, does style still feel hard? You've figured out your body shape, you've bought the right things, and maybe you've even listened to every single episode of this show multiple times. But getting dressed still feels like a chore. You still struggle to know what to wear, and your outfits still feel underwhelming. If it feels like maybe you just weren't meant to have great style after all, you're not alone, and you're not bad at style. You just haven't learned how to translate what you know into your everyday life so that style doesn't feel so hard. This season is all about making everyday style easier by treating dressing well as a habit instead of a special occasion. Let's get started. Foreign welcome to the Everyday Style School, the show that teaches you everything your mom never did about getting dressed. I'm your host, Jennifer Mackie. Mary After 25 years of dressing women with real bodies, real budgets, and real lives, I know great style isn't about following one size fits all advice. It's about learning what works for you. Well, hello gorgeous. We are back from our winter break and I am so happy to be here. I've missed you. I hope you had a wonderful holiday season and that you enjoyed some downtime to just rest and relax and enjoy this cozy, cozy season of winter. For me, that's what winter's all about. I took a major break in December and a good chunk of January. Like no socials, no emails, nothing. But that doesn't mean I wasn't working. In fact, quite the opposite. Having a little bit of breathing room just opened the floodgates of ideas and things I wanted to create. And since we were last together, I created a brand new free class that I will tell you about later. And we added a new masterclass to the Style Circle, which I actually think is the most important class in the entire membership. It was just a great reminder that slowing down and taking a break and isn't a waste of time. Even when you feel guilty for doing it. Sometimes it is the most important thing you can do. And I am just super energized and excited for all of the things we've got coming up this year. So stay tuned. I hope you're as excited as I am. All right, back to the present moment. Today we are kicking off our spring semester and a brand new theme for the season. One thing I have said a lot over the last couple of decades is that style is a skill and dressing well is a habit. Last season we talked about the fundamentals of style, right? Like understanding your body and the basics of color and proportion, all that good stuff. Those things are all about the skill of style. Style is a skill anyone can learn. And you don't have to be born knowing how to dress your body or what colors look good on you. You can 100% learn those things and hopefully after last season, you have more knowledge than you did before. And that is wonderful. But that is not all there is. You can have all the knowledge in the world and still struggle to put an outfit together. You can be an expert in dressing your body and still have a closet full of clothes and nothing to wear. You can know what's current and dated and still go through life feeling frumpy and blah, blah. I've seen this happen so many times in my career. Women who have all the technical knowledge, but it's just not translating into making it easier to get dressed. What I found is that most women think the answer to the struggle is to learn more or buy more. Take another class, get some more advice, learn some new rules, or hit the stores and websites and buy new things. Like, there's just that one pair of pants or one sweater that's going to make everything easy. And what happens is, is that they know more. So they feel like style should be easier, but it still isn't. And they have more, which in theory should make getting dressed easier, but it still doesn't. And this reinforces the idea that they're just not good at any of this. And maybe style truly isn't for them. It can be incredibly defeating. But here's the thing. What most women miss on their quest for better style is the second part of my little quote. The habit of dressing well. They treat their style knowledge and their style skills like this separate, compartmentalized thing that they will pull down off the shelf and dust off when they really need it. But because they don't need it all that often, it's hard every time. Think about it this way. Let's say you want to learn how to ride a bike. You sign up for a course. You buy the bike that the top bicycle influencer says that you need, and you learn everything there is to know about the technique of riding your bike. But you only get on the bike and start pedaling the day of the big bike race that you signed up for, or on the day that your friends say, hey, you want to go for a nice long bike ride. How successful would you feel? Probably not very. Right. You would fall down a lot and you'd say, I'm just I'm not good at riding a bike after all, I learned how, so it should be easy. I mean, it looks easy for everyone else. Do you see where I'm going with this? I hope so. On the other hand, let's say you buy a cheap used bike on Facebook Marketplace and you watch a 15 minute YouTube video on how to ride a bike and then you just get on and you go for it. You still fall down a lot, but every day you make a habit of going for a 10 minute ride. You're not focused on the correct hand placement on the handlebars or how many RPMs you're pedaling. I don't even know if that's a measurement, but let's pretend it is. Or how far you're going. You're just riding the dang bike whether you have a reason to ride your bike or not. Which approach do you think is going to make you feel like a good bike rider in six months? If you said the second one, you're right. A consistent habit beats technical knowledge every single time. Now, a consistent habit paired with technical knowledge is how you find success the fastest. In case you're thinking that, I'm telling you knowledge doesn't matter. I'm not saying that at all. I'm just saying it's not a substitute for a habit. Habits do a couple of things. First, they serve as practice. If you only practice the skill of dressing your body or putting good outfits together when it matters, like right before a job interview or a friend's wedding, it'll always feel hard and you're probably not going to feel very good at it. Consistent habits give you daily practice when the stakes are low, and then when the stakes are higher, your skill is more developed and you're able to be more successful. Because habits hone your skills. The second thing habits do is that they reduce the energy you spend thinking about the skill inside the style circle. After our members take the signature style course and define how they want to look, they spend a lot of energy looking at pieces they want to buy, deciding if they fit their personal guideposts. Or they spend energy putting outfits together that meet those style guideposts, it's something they're actively thinking about. However, over time, it just becomes second nature and they spend no time thinking about those things. It just kind of happens. The skill of identifying things that are their style becomes second nature because habits put your skills on autopilot. In my experience, though, this is something that holds a lot of women back. It can feel unnatural or even superficial to actively think about your clothes or your outfits with that much energy. It goes back to that whole women should just be good at this why do I have to work so hard thing. And what we often don't realize is that period of awkwardness and forced practice doesn't last forever. But so many women don't keep going to get to the other side of it, where style isn't something they have to think about. It's something that just happens because it's become a habit. You just have to stick with it long enough to power through the awkward part so you can get to the autopilot part. So that's really what we're talking about this semester, creating a habit of style, or simply taking your knowledge and putting it into practice in your everyday life so that it becomes second nature. We're going to talk about some of the ways you're making style harder than it needs to be and how to fix it. I'll share some practical ways to make your everyday style better, and we'll talk about how to build that effortless get ready for anything wardrobe that you've probably always wanted. This season is all about taking action and making style easier in real life, or creating a habit that you don't have to think so hard about. Over the next couple of months, you're probably going to hear the phrase dressing well is a habit more than a few times. And if you're thinking, yeah, but I don't need to dress well, I don't go anywhere special. I want you to stop right there. This is important, and without understanding this one thing, you're going to miss out on a lot this semester. So I really need you to hear and understand and internalize this. Dressing well does not mean dressing up. Let me repeat that. Dressing well does not mean dressing up. You can dress well without ever putting on heels or uncomfortable trousers. You can dress well in athleisure clothes, or heck, you can dress well in pajamas. One of the biggest blocks for women is this idea that style or dressing well means wearing blouses and blazers and pants with actual buttons and zippers. It doesn't. Dressing well simply means feeling put together no matter what you're doing or no matter where you're going and liking the way you look. That's it. So if you want to feel more stylish every single day, no matter what, that's the first thought that you need to embrace. Otherwise, you're going to spend big chunks of your life not feeling stylish, waiting for a time where it matters because you're not dressing up. Dressing well and dressing up are simply not the same. Now I want to switch gears a little bit and talk about the most important ingredient in any habit. And because effortless, easy style is really just a whole bunch of habits strung together, it's the foundation that everything builds on. You ready? For any habit to stick, it has to be useful and rewarding. It's got to do something for you. Let's take brushing your teeth. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that this is a habit you do a couple of times a day. Right? Good. I'm glad we're on the same page. Why? Why do you brush your teeth? Probably a lot of reasons. Good breath, good oral hygiene, you want to keep your teeth. Whatever. The point is, there is a reason you do it and you get something out of it that's important to you. Even bad habits give you something. Scrolling Instagram when you should be working or cleaning your house. We can all agree that is not a productive habit. So why do we do it? Because it gives our brains a break, or it gives our brains a dopamine hit. We get something out of the habit. If you want a new habit to stick, one of the best things you can do is identify why you're doing it or what you want to get out of it. This is what keeps you going when it would be easier not to. Those times where it feels difficult or it feels awkward. So to help you get ready for this semester of just everyday action and habit building, I want to help you uncover why style matters to you. This might be something that you've never even even considered, or you might have brushed it off with a superficial I just want to look put together. And that might be true, but why do you want to look put together? What does that, or what would that give you? The deeper the reason, the more impactful it will be and the more it will help you. And here's the thing about your why. Your why doesn't have to be my why. It doesn't have to be why. Society or your mother says style should matter. It doesn't have to be anybody's why except yours. All it has to be is your actual personal reasons. Reasons that are meaningful enough to spark and sustain action. Because if you don't know why style matters to you, you won't put effort into learning the skill or developing the habit. Or you will for a while, but then you'll abandon your efforts the minute you hit a roadblock or life gets busy. Your why is the difference between I should care what I wear and I want to care what I wear because it matters to me. Your why is the anchor for your habit. The other thing about whys is that it's incredibly helpful to have more than just one. Sometimes your why just doesn't fit the situation. Different situations call for different motivations. So I want to share five different kinds of whys and you can pick the ones that resonate with you. Again, try and pick more than one. You don't have to pick them all. And here they are in no particular order. Number one is the identity why. This one answers the question who am I and how do I want to show up? It's about creating a style that feels authentic and personal and tells people who you really are. Maybe you want to be seen as someone who is capable or creative or put together or fun. Whatever. It's easier to project your inner self when you look the part in when you look the part consistently think about a woman you know who always looks put together. We all know one, right? Don't you naturally assume that she's got other parts of her life together? Yeah, I know I do. Identity wise are powerful because they tie your style habits to your sense of self. And if you're someone who struggles with feeling like an imposter when you try to have more style or when you try to break out of your comfort zone, this is an important one to focus on. Who are you and what do you want to express through your clothes? The second why is the emotional why, and this one is about how you want to feel or how you don't want to feel. Maybe you want to stop feeling like you're the last priority for everyone, including yourself. Or maybe you're tired of feeling frumpy or invisible or bad about your body. Maybe you don't want to start the day feeling disappointed and defeated because there's nothing in your closet that makes you feel good and you would rather start the day feeling calm and in control. Emotional whys are powerful because what you wear affects your emotions and how you feel about yourself. If you have struggled with body image or feeling bad about yourself, or even feeling invisible as you get older, having an emotional why can help turn things around because you get to choose how you want to feel and you can dress to support that. The next step, number three, is the practical why. This one is about the real life reasons for having better style. Maybe you want to make your mornings easier or stop putting away the piles of clothes you tried on that morning. Or you want to stop wasting money on clothes that you never wear. Maybe you want to stop emergency shopping every time you have to go somewhere. Or worse, saying no when people ask you to go somewhere. Most women, when they think about this idea of effortless style, are really talking about this one. The practical why? They want the ability to open their closets, have what they need, throw on something great in under two minutes and love the results. When style only matters to you. When all conditions are perfect, effortless style will never, ever happen. Effortless style is a result of a lot of habits and a lot of practice. These practical whys are important because they connect style to real life problems that you want to solve, like wasting time or wasting money. So if you are someone who says I don't have time for style or I don't have money to buy a lot of clothes, this is an important one. Over time, this habit of style helps you use those resources better. The fourth why is the legacy why. Legacy wise are all about how your habits impact the people around you, especially your kids. Maybe you want your daughters to see a woman who values herself enough to dress well even if she hasn't lost the baby weight. Maybe you want your sons to see that their mom is an actual person and not just an ATM or a personal chef. Maybe you want to model self respect and self care or just joy in your everyday life. Legacy wise are about what we give to others by how we treat ourselves. And they're important because they were a reminder that how we show up sends a message that goes far, far beyond clothes. Unless this is the first time you've listened to this show, it will come as no surprise to you that this is my number one why. Growing up, it was clearly communicated to me through both words and actions that looking good and having nice clothes were reserved for times that the scale said it was okay. I vowed as a mom of daughters that my girls would never, ever see me earning the right to look good or wear nice things. I want them to see me buying clothes I love, even in times where I'm not feeling the best about my body. I want them to remember that I looked nice on days, that I didn't go anywhere and that I had fun with clothes. I want them to see me valuing myself no matter what. If it never crosses their minds that they have to be worthy of buying the good jeans or they never treat clothes as a reward for having the right body, I will feel like a successful mom. But because I want that for them, I have to do it for me. I have to live that why the last one, number five is my other big why, and that is the energy why. This one is all about how you function or go through your day. One of my favorite memes says I yell at my kids less when I like my outfit. And it's funny because it's true. I think we all want to pretend that what we wear has no impact on how we go through life, but that simply isn't the case. Most people function better when they feel put together. Studies show that you make better decisions, you procrastinate less, and you're more productive when you dress better. Getting dressed I know I've said this a lot on the show. Getting dressed is a powerful tool. And these, energy wise, are important because they show that what you wear affects more than just how you look. If you're somebody who wants to increase your personal energy and your impact every single day, this one is for you. I know I'm a different person when I like the way I look. My energy is different. And I don't just mean physical energy. I mean things like whether I'm more outgoing or reserved and even how I deal with minor inconveniences. I'm a lot more easygoing when I like the way I look. For me, dressing well, not up, just well, is a really simple way to make the most of my day. And that's what these why's are all about. Finding the things that resonate with you and motivate you to build the everyday habit of style. Before we get to the homework, let's recap these whys real quick. Number one, the identity why. It's all about using style to align who you are inside with what people see so that you can feel authentic and show the world who you are. Number two is the emotional why. This one is all about how you use style to feel the way you want to feel and to avoid feeling how you don't want to feel. Number three is the practical why, which is about solving real life challenges that not knowing how to have style or build a great wardrobe causes. Number four is the legacy why? It's the messages you're sending through your style and the way you dress to those around you that they will carry for decades to come. Number five is the energy why, which is all about the effect your style has on how you approach life and your day, Your homework. Big surprise. Here is to start to define why style matters to you. It can be something we've talked about today or something totally different. My best advice is to choose more than one, but you don't need to pick all five. Pick ones that are honest and true and big enough to actually motivate you. In the end, you should be able to complete the sentence Style matters to me because blank. Your job is to fill in the blank. Then, as you are going through your week getting dressed each day, ask yourself if you're getting dressed in alignment with your reasons. And if you find yourself saying no because I'm not going anywhere special, ask yourself if you're confusing dressing well with dressing up. The truth is, most of our lives are lived in the everyday. So don't save style for times that it matters. Your everyday matters, so get dressed for it. That is it for this episode of the Everyday Style School. I am so happy to be back with you for the spring season. Thank you for spending this time with me today. If you're ready to make style easy once and for all, I invite you to join my free workshop Style Made simple, where you will discover why styles felt so hard and ways to make it easier. You can sign up@freestyleclass.com or just go through the link in the show notes. I'll see you next time, and until then, stay stylish.