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The holidays are almost here and I know this can be a busy and stressful time of year, but I also know it's a season full of events you'll want to look your best for. Whether you are hosting the family dinner or heading to a party, there are so many opportunities to look and feel just a little bit special coming up and I want you to be confident and ready for everything. So to take the stress out of getting dressed this season, I'm hosting a free Holiday Style workshop, sharing tips on what to wear when you're hosting and how to look better in your holiday photos, as well as outfit ideas that don't include that old red sweater that only comes out in December. It's really time to retire her. Plus, we'll have plenty of time for you to ask your holiday style questions and get real time answers. This is the perfect way to kick off the holidays and go from feeling frumpy to fabulous all season long. The Holiday Style Workshop is happening Wednesday, November 19th at 7pm Central. Just head to your everyday style.com holiday to register for the free event. And even if you can't attend the workshop live, be sure to register. As long as you're on the list, I'll send you the replay again. It's all going down Wednesday, November 19th at 7pm Central and you can register at your everyday style.com holiday I can't wait to see you there. One thing we've talked about a lot on this show is body shape. But one thing a lot of women are still confused about is their body shape. Why is that? Why? With all of the quizzes, classes, podcasts and blog posts out there, is dressing our bodies still the thing women struggle with most? And what can we do to make it easier? I've got some theories and that's what we're talking about today. Let's get started. Hello gorgeous. Welcome back to the Everyday Style School, the show that teaches you everything your mom never did about getting dressed. I'm your host, Jennifer mackey. Mary After 25 years of dressing women with real bodies, budgets and lives, I know great style isn't about following one size fits all advice. It's about learning what works for you. From my very first day working at Chico's 25 years ago, I've been kind of obsessed with body shapes. That day, I was taught the four basic body shapes and how to dress each one. And I'm not kidding when I tell you it changed the trajectory of my life. For me personally, learning why I struggled with clothes was an absolute revelation. It freed me from a lot of the negative feelings I had about my body, and it made it easy to finally find clothes that I loved, that also loved me back. During my time there, I was able to give thousands of women that same gift. Working with women who always thought they were the problem, and maybe if they just ate less and exercised more, clothes would be as easy for them as they seem to be for others. But as it turns out, it wasn't them all along. It was the clothes. And once they realized, that style became easier and a lot more fun. So when I started my own styling business, I called it Apple and Pear Wardrobe as an homage to body types. And it was built around teaching women how to find clothes that worked for their bodies and let go of these feelings that were somehow weird or malformed. Over the years, I have given countless presentations about body shape. I've recorded I don't know how many podcast episodes on the topic, and I've even created a comprehensive course teaching women how to use clothes to dress their unique shapes. And I know I'm not alone. I don't pretend to be the only stylist out there talking about body shapes. There are entire businesses dedicated to this topic. There are a million blog posts, countless quizzes, you name it. Finding information on how to dress your body shape has never been easier. So why is it that understanding your shape and dressing it well is still the number one challenge I hear from women? As my business has grown and changed and I'm no longer working one on one with women, what I've come to realize is that the traditional thoughts and teachings about body shapes and body shape labels, it leaves a lot to be desired. So today I want to talk about what traditional body type advice gets wrong and why you still hear me using the labels and what value those labels still have for you. And then I want to wrap up by sharing a better way to understand and dress your body shape. If you have never been able to find the right label for your body in a quiz or on a blog post, I hope this episode helps you understand why that is. But more importantly, I hope it helps you move forward without a perfect label so that you can easily find clothes that fit and flatter and make you feel like a million bucks foreign. Let's talk about those body type labels and why they're not working. I'm talking about the traditional hourglass, pear, apple, rectangle, those labels, and you can even put things like oval or inverted triangle here if you if you'd like any descriptive, prescriptive label, you Want we can put in this section. And I've got six issues with labels, and for the sake of time, I'm going to go through them pretty quick. You ready? Here we go. Number one, they are limiting. Most women don't fit perfectly into one category or another. And the answer to this has been to come up with more shapes or more labels beyond what I call the core. Four, I've got a book that has 12 shapes and I've got one that has 16. And you would think that that would solve the problem, right? No, I actually have a harder time fitting into just one category when more options are offered. So instead of being a mix of two shapes, I feel like I'm a mix of four or five. And how is that helpful? It's actually more confusing. Number two, they make body shapes and dressing your body sound really simplistic. Like, oh, this is easy. Just find the label and then all of your problems are solved. But if you can't even find the label, what happens after that doesn't really matter. And this makes women who can't find the label easily feel bad. Like their bodies are too unusual to even be described or labeled. And what we don't realize is that the majority of women struggle to identify their shape. And if that's the case, if most women can't use the system to make style easier, to me, it stands to reason that the system is flawed. Not you. Number three, they don't take nuance into account. If you haven't listened to my last episode on proportion yet, you need to do that because it goes hand in hand with this episode and I'll link it in the show notes. In that episode, I talked about vertical body shape and how it's just as important as horizontal body shape when it comes to getting the look and the fit that you want. But have you ever seen vertical body shape mentioned when talking about your body or dressing your body? Well, no, but it makes a huge difference. Dressing a short torsoed pair with a high waist is completely different than dressing a long torsoed pair with a long waist. But body shape advice treats all pairs the same. They also don't take into account degrees of body typeness. An apple could be one size bigger on top than on bottom, or an apple could be three sizes bigger on top than on bottom. Do you think dressing those two bodies is the same? Spoiler alert. No, it is very, very, very different. Not all women within the same label have the exact same shape or the same needs. But all the advice is the same. Number four, they seem to start with what is wrong with your body or what needs fixing, except for the hourglass, which is held up as this ideal shape. And if you're an hourglass, you know that it's not always easy to dress your body right. But there is inherently a good or bad judgment associated with body type labels as well as the idea that dressing your body shape is primarily about fixing or hiding your flaws. And on that note, none of the body shapes are weight related except for apples. It assumes all apples are plus size. And as I'm sitting here in a size medium tea and size small pants, I can assure you that isn't the case. When I have been plus size, I've been apple shaped. When I'm not plus sized, still apple shaped. However, this is a huge reason women think that when they gain a few pounds, they automatically morph into an apple and they start following guidelines that then cause other issues. We talked about that last week, right? Literally every book I have talks about swimsuits and the recommendations for every other body shape is a skin bearing bikini. Except for apples, who apparently are supposed to wear 1900s era bathing costumes covered from, you know, shoulders to knees. It is ridiculous and it's not accurate. All shapes come in all sizes. Number five, the majority of women are given incomplete advice. Now, this kind of goes along with nuance, but it's a lot more specific. So let me explain. Most women, the majority of women have rectangle as either a primary or a secondary body shape, which. Okay, no problem, right? But here's the thing. The other three shapes I only talk about, the core four have vertical nuance and degrees of body shapeness that make the advice harder to follow. Yes, but those other shapes share some traits that do make it easy to at least give some generic advice that most women can apply. But the rectangle body shape has the most diversity within the label and it's the only one that really morphs into something different with weight changes. That oval body shape that I mentioned earlier, that's a rectangle who gains weight just in the midsection while the arms and legs remain slim? But that's not how all rectangles gain weight. Some gain it evenly all over, while some become a little bit more peish. And have you ever seen a post or an article that talks about a quote unquote boyish figure that is a rectangle and it typically is describing a small, slender, Audrey Hepburn esque kind of woman? Now one of my body shape books talks about the brick body shape, which is also a rectangle, but it is Broad and straight and very strong. Do you think those women are going to wear the same thing? No, not at all. Rectangles are by far the hardest to give general advice to, but they make up the biggest percentage of women, which means the majority of women are underserved by traditional body type thinking. Finally, number six, they put us into boxes where we think we can only wear certain things and we often don't try anything else. If it's not on that wear this, not that list, we just assume it's not for us. We don't often stop and think. Has the list maker updated the list? Or is it possible that the list doesn't cover all the things? I have seen countless women over the years in style ruts and feeling like they can't wear anything new or different because they use that body type list as a hard and fast rulebook. And I know I have said this before, but maybe in this conversation it makes more sense. Those lists, which they are the goal of the body shape label, right? You put in the label, then you get the list. They teach you the what, but not the why. They don't teach you to think critically about what effect clothes have on your body. So you are stuck relying on the list. When your body changes or styles change, you need a new list. You have to start over. You can't just look at clothes and understand what they'll do for your body and if that's a good thing or not. In the end, the list doesn't give enough information to really be helpful. But we act as though it solves all of our problems. And when it doesn't, we are more confused and frustrated than ever. So with that ringing endorsement of traditional body type labels and body type advice, why do I still talk about them? Why do you hear me use the words apple, pear, hourglass? Here's why. It's a common language that we all understand. That's it. When I say I worked with a woman who was a pair, you instantly understand what I'm talking about. Now, if I said I worked with a woman who had hips wider than her bust and shoulders and a defined waist and slim arms and shoulders, you would get there. But it would take you a minute to process all that information. It just takes longer. And I'm reminded of the first angry DM I ever received way back in the beginning of my business. And I had this moment of like, oh, you're not someone until someone hates you, right? And this was my moment. A woman sent me a message because she was very offended that I was using the term rectangle. She thought I should be using contoured column instead. Now this was back in the day when we were still reading magazines, which tells you how long ago this was. But I remember replying to her and telling her, well, because magazines aren't talking about the best genes for contoured columns, you would first have to figure out what the heck a contoured column is and then figure out if you are one or not before you could actually use the information. We already know what these traditional body shape labels are, so it just expedites the conversation and the learning process. This is also a big reason why I only talk about the core four shapes. Apple, rectangle, hourglass, and pear. If I said brick, you would have to think for a minute about what that means and you could probably picture it. But you know, how is that different than a column? It would just take you a longer time to understand what I was talking about. And this same book also has bowling pin and bell as body shapes. And if you're like, wait, those vaguely sound like Parish type shapes, you're right. Congratulations. Ding ding. When you get into extra body shapes, they're usually just variations of those core four. I don't believe it's possible to give meaningful advice from just a high level label, so my thought is why confuse things with more labels? Just kind of get close and use them as a starting point. Which is exactly how I recommend you use them too. I'm going to tell you something about myself and this might change the way you feel about me forever, but I am willing to risk it. You know those annoying people who love icebreaker games at corporate meetings and events? Yeah. I'm one of them. I am. My secret is out now. And now you know, and I hope you still like me. But if not, I understand. And if you're thinking, I always thought there was something off about that girl, this could be it. My early career was spent in corporate training and there was nothing I loved more than a good icebreaker. Making fully grown adults play musical chairs after a lunch break just brought me so much joy. And I promise there is a point to this, so stick with me. It isn't always feasible to have an entire group engaged in full contact musical chairs, so I had to have some more mild games up my sleeve. And my favorite was a game called Four Corners. It made people get up, move around, mingle, but nobody was going to get hurt or split their pants, which did happen on an occasion. I still feel bad about that. But anyway, if you're not Familiar with this game? Here's how it worked. A charming and witty, if I do say so myself, facilitator would say something like, what's your ideal vacation? If you love the beach, head to this corner of the room. If you want to go camping, head to that corner of the room. If you love to explore cities, head over there. And if you prefer adventure vacations, go to that corner. You get the idea, right? Pretty simple. There wasn't time to go around and ask everyone in the city corner what kind of city they liked. Did they like historic or modern? Or did they like to wander around on their own or take a guided tour? Each group, each corner shared a high level label. But if we really rounded them all up and sent them on the same version of their ideal vacation, very few people would be having the experience that they truly loved or wanted. The adventure people might be screaming, I meant I liked hiking. As they were like chucked off of a bridge with a bungee cord tied to their feet. And hardcore tent campers would probably feel shortchanged if they were staying in RVs with granite countertops and fireplaces. And this, my friend, is both the purpose and the limitation of body shape labels. You get into a corner with all of your pair sisters and you share some commonality. Like you appear bigger on bottom than you do on top. But there are lots of differences too. Some of you get the gap in the back and need curvy cut pants. Others don't get the gap in the back and have been struggling for years. But because all pair advice says you need curvy cut pants, some pairs look great in belts, while others feel like they're belting their boobs. Labels should be a starting point, but not the full and final answer. They can't be because not every pair or every hourglass in that corner is exactly the same. But the problem is that so many women think that finding the right label will instantly solve their problems. So. So they put all of their energy into that, into finding that label, only to find that it's lacking. When it comes to real life application, a label will get you in the right corner and it'll give you a little direction. But because your body is unique and the advice isn't, it's always going to be missing something. So what's the solution? Great question. I'm glad you asked. The solution is understanding your unique body without a label, creating goals for your body shape based on how you want to look, and then using clothes to achieve those goals. The truth is, understanding your shape is not as simplistic as it seems, but actually, dressing your body isn't as complicated as you've been led to believe. You just have to think a little bit differently and let go of this idea that finding the right label will solve everything. In the last episode, I encouraged you to understand your proportions using words like bigger than, smaller than, or the same as if you did that. Well done. You are. You're well on your way. You're ready for this conversation. Today, though, I'm going to share the three elements that really go into understanding your body shape and setting those body shape goals. And once you have those two things, you can use your clothes. In the last episode, I called them tools to achieve those goals. And this, my friend, is what we commonly call dressing your body shape. That's really all it is. The difference is that my way accounts for nuance where predetermined labels don't. So the first element is balance. We talked about this one last week. When we're talking about balance in the context of horizontal body shapes, we're comparing your upper body and your lower body. Not legs versus torso, just shoulders to waist and waist to hips. One part can be bigger than the other or smaller than the other, or they can be roughly the same size. So your balance goals, and everyone will have just one balance goal is to create balance or maintain balance. The choice is up to you. If you're a pear or an apple and you like one part looking bigger, have at it. Your answer here would be to maintain the balance that you have. If you don't like the difference, your goal is to create balance. There's no right or wrong answer. It's just how you want to look. The next element is curves. This means the difference between your bust and your hips and your waist. There are four choices here for goals. If you like your curves and the amount of curves you have and you want to show those curves off, your goal would be to highlight your curves. If you've got some curve but you'd like to look curvier, your goal would be to enhance your curves. If you do not have any curves but you'd like to have some, your goal would be to create curves. Finally, if you don't have any curves and you don't want to put the effort into creating some, or. Or if you do have curves but you'd rather not, your goal would be to forget about curves. Again, totally up to you. If you are a rectangle who has been told all her life that your only goal is to look and dress like an hourglass. I am here to tell you you don't have to. You can embrace your straight figure. That is perfectly fine. It's your goal. You still with me? Good. Okay, the last element is individual body parts. And which do you want to bring attention to? And which would you like to camouflage? Now, I know a big percentage of the women listening right now just said, oof, I don't want to bring attention to anything or I want to camouflage it all. And with love, my friend, it doesn't work that way. That is not a successful strategy. This is what you're doing when you cover up your whole body in oversized pieces and lots of extra fabric. And I. I hate to break it to you, but it is doing the opposite of what you're hoping for. So if you can't think of a part that you really want to highlight, or two parts, let's go crazy here. Just pretend that you walk into a room and people just look up and they look at you and not in a judgy way, just like in a human nature way. Where would you like their eyes to land? And where would you prefer their eyes not land? That's it. It doesn't have to be any deeper than that. The parts you choose to highlight or camouflage are completely up to you. Your face, your legs, your bust, your waist, it doesn't matter. But might I suggest that you start with the parts you want to bring attention to first? This is how we get away from body shape dressing just being a punishment. It should not just be about, oof, I hate this part. Cover it up, cover it up. You'll get there, you will get there. My way gets you there. But let's not lead with that. So that's it. Those are your goals. Do you want to create or maintain balance? Do you want to highlight, enhance, create, or forget about curves? And which parts do you want to draw attention to or away from? You don't need a label to figure any of that out, but once you know those things, you can simply use clothes to create outfits that achieve those goals. That's all body shape dressing is. Let's not turn it into something much more mysterious and unknowable than. Than it really needs to be. What requires effort in this way of thinking is learning how to use clothes or elements of clothes or combinations of clothes to achieve the goals you want to achieve. But the cool thing is, once you know what clothes do, you know it forever. Bodies change, lifestyles change, trends change. But what never, ever changes is what clothes do. For example, high necklines make your bust look bigger and your shoulders look broader. They always have and they always will. So now that you know that, you can say, yes, that will help me achieve my goals, or, ooh, no, that is not what I'm going for. Now, it doesn't matter if it's a crew neck, mock neck, turtleneck, all high necklines do the same thing. And in this method, you can stop wondering, can I wear that? And. And instead start asking, what will that do for me? And will that help me reach my goals? And I'm going to tell you those are better quality questions that are going to lead you to a better quality wardrobe. This is how you go from being frustrated by limiting labels that never helped you anyway to becoming an expert in dressing your own body shape without a list or without a label. Now, I fully admit that my way requires more effort to learn, but if the label and the corresponding list has never made style easier for you, is it really worth might be time to try a new approach? So let's quickly recap before we talk about our homework. And I bet you already know what your homework's going to be, right? Okay, here we go. Here's your recap. Traditional body type labels leave a lot to be desired. They don't take into account your uniqueness, and they rarely make it easier to build a wardrobe that you feel great in. Labels are best when they are used as common language or as a starting point, never as the final answer. A better way to understand your body and start dressing it best is to understand your shape without a label. First focusing on balance, then on curves, then individual body parts. Once you set goals for how you want to look, you can use clothes to achieve those goals. That's it. Pretty simple. So here's your homework again. I bet you know what it is. Set your body shape goals. What is your balance goal? What is your curve goal? And what are your individual body part goals? Go in that order. And list the parts you want to draw attention to before you start that long list of parts you want to camouflage. Just start with the positive. Dressing your body well shouldn't start as punishment. All right. I hope this episode encourages you to start thinking about dressing your body shape differently. If those labels and those lists have never served you before, it is time to try something new. What do you have to lose? Can't be any worse than what it is right now, right? And that is it for this episode of the Everyday Style School. I want to thank you for spending time with me today. If you are ready to make style easier and more fun. Come join me in the Style Circle if you're ready to learn what clothes do for your body and how to use them to achieve the goals that you set. Our Dress your Body Shape Masterclass is where you're going to learn to use clothes like a pro. You will also get our Winter Capsule Guide that is coming out at the beginning of December and you can become a member today at your everyday style.com or we'll have the link in the show notes as well. And don't forget there is still time to submit a question about anything we talked about this season for our Listener Q and A episode that is wrapping up our season. We have got a bunch of good questions already, but we've got room for a couple of more and the link for that is also in the show notes. That's all I've got. I will see you next time and until then, stay stylish. Sa.