← The Everyday Style School
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How well do you really know your personal style? Like, beyond, I know I own a lot of black or I want to look classic. Often we spend so much time learning the rules of style that sometimes we forget to pay attention to our own actual habits and preferences and style quirks. Today, we're turning the spotlight inward with 10 personal style fundamentals that every woman should know to make getting dressed easier and more fun. Let's get started. Hello, gorgeous. Welcome back to the Everyday Style School, the show that teaches you everything your mom never did about getting dressed. I'm your host, Jennifer Mackie. Mary, after 25 years of dressing women with real bodies, real budgets, and real lives, I know great style isn't about following one size fits all advice. It's about learning what works for you. All season long, we've been talking about some style fundamentals, the basics every woman should know when it comes to her style education. We've talked about fit, which is the most fundamental of all the style fundamentals. We've unpacked color theory and talked about the importance of having a strong style vocabulary. We dove into proportion and talked about truly understanding your body shape instead of just trying to label it. And along the way, I gave you homework to practice these fundamentals. And all season long, I have loved seeing our style circle members practicing these skills and sharing their wins. Carmen shared with us that thanks to her increased style vocabulary, she finally found a white shirt that works for her. That perfect white button, button front, which is a lot harder than a lot of women think, right? And lots of our members worked on dressing their vertical proportions and practice creating golden ratio outfits. This is such a good reminder that listening is one thing, but listening and then doing and practicing is really where the magic happens. Today, in our last official Style Fundamentals episode, we're going to turn it inward. We've been talking about things that every woman should know. Every woman is served by knowing the difference between knits and wovens or being able to determine if a color is warm or cool. But today, I want to talk about some things that only you would know, because what we're talking about today are your style fundamentals. These are completely subjective. There are no right or wrong answers. But the deeper understanding you have in each of these areas, the the better and easier style will be for you. You'll find that getting dressed each morning is easier and that you're buying fewer wardrobe mistakes and wearing more of what you have. And the best part is you don't really have to learn anything new this week. All you have to do is think about your answers, which spoiler alert is your homework for this episode. Today we're Talking about these 10 things that every woman should know about herself and if she wants style to be easy. So here we go. Number one is your natural uniform. What is a natural uniform? I'll tell you. Your natural uniform is the outfit recipe that you can throw on anytime and feel confident. Or your natural uniform can simply be what you prefer wearing. This can be pretty specific like I love wide leg jeans and a boxy sweatshirt. Or it can be higher level. I prefer wearing pants and tops or even skirts and tops over wearing dresses. Knowing your natural uniform is important for a couple of reasons. First, it might sound counterintuitive, but it actually helps you avoid style ruts and buying too many of the same thing. I know I love wide leg jeans and boxy sweatshirts. So when I'm about to click add to cart on another one, I say to myself, self, hold up a second. I bet you already have enough of this. So knowing what I naturally gravitate towards keeps me from filling my entire closet with it. Because I'm aware of my wardrobe blind spots. And for me, my blind spot is oh, another cute sweatshirt. Let me add that one too. But I don't need it. I need to fill other things now. On the other hand, knowing your natural uniform gives you a blueprint for evolving your style. Too often when women want better style, the first thing they do is go to the store, right? We start to shop and we buy whatever we think style is to us that day. Like maybe you saw a stylish woman in a maxi dress and thought, yeah, you know what, she looks great. I'm going to buy maxi dresses and then I'll be stylish too. And then you never wear the dresses because you're really a two piece outfit person now. Instead, if you know you prefer two piece outfits, you you know that even though that woman in that maxi dress look great, it might not be the best place to start a style evolution. But maybe you could try a maxi skirt or even a wider leg pant. You can adapt whatever you think is stylish to what you really like. And if you want to boost your style, a good way to do it successfully and to start to step outside of your comfort zone is within your natural uniform. For example, if you like me like wide leg jeans, you could start with wide leg pants with more pattern or more color. And if you like sweatshirts, maybe that just tells you you like knit. So you could expand that to knit top Something with a different neckline, something like that. Improving your style within your natural uniform is much more likely to be successful than going too far out of your comfort zone right away. The second personal fundamental you need to know is your real life wardrobe needs. Now, what I mean by this is that by understanding where you actually go, what you actually do, and what you actually want to wear, for those things, you can right. Size your closet and your spending and dress better for the way you really live. If you find yourself frequently not having things you enjoy wearing for your everyday life, there's a really good chance that you're not buying for the life that you really live. And we've talked about that a lot on the show. Now, there's nothing wrong with having a few things that are not everyday pieces. As a matter of fact, if you don't, it's really tough to get dressed for things outside of your everyday life or your regular routines. But you should not be struggling to get dressed or feeling frumpy for the majority of your days. I want you to think of your life as a pie chart. You can divide it into how you spend your time. Like, Maybe work is 20% and date night is 5% and running errands or doing family stuff is 30%. You get the idea, right? Well, that pie chart should mirror your wardrobe. If you spend 30% of your time in casual outfits, running errands, hanging out with your kids, 30% of your wardrobe should be dedicated to that. This is not a hard and fast mathematical equation. I just kind of made up the analogy right now, but hopefully you get what I'm saying. What I've seen over the years is women who spend 75% of their lives in casual situations and have 15% of their wardrobes and not the best 15% dedicated to those activities. You should build your wardrobe around what you do the most, not what you think is most important. Don't forget those important things, too. But focus on your real life wardrobe needs first. The next personal style fundamental you need to know is your signature colors. Now, I don't mean what colors look best on you. We already talked about that. This is different. This is what colors you feel best in, what colors you like to wear. And your signature colors can be the colors that are best on you. It's great when those two things align, but they don't have to be. So think about what colors make you feel confident or beautiful or feminine, whatever. If black makes you feel sexy and powerful, wear it when you want to feel sexy and powerful, even if it's not your best. Think through different scenarios like the first day in a new job or a party where you're the guest of honor, a romantic date night, giving a speech, whatever. What color would you wear for the way you want to feel in those situations? And once you know a few of your signature colors, make sure they're in your wardrobe so that you can feel the way you want to feel when you want to feel that way. Number four on the list of personal style fundamentals is your non negotiables. If you refuse to wear anything except natural fibers, great, fantastic. You do you sister. But know that and own that. And when you're tempted to break it because you really love that dress or oh I that blouse is so cute, remember that your feelings might go away temporarily when you're faced with that pretty new thing, but but your standards will come back in real life and you're not going to want to wear that dress or that blouse. If you need shoes with some extra room in the toes, remember that when you're trying to convince yourself that it'll be fine this one time because those pointed toe boots, they're so cute and they're not really that pointed and I'm sure it'll be okay, right? Those are shoes that you're going to buy and then regret buying. So know the things that you are not willing to negotiate on. The key here though is that not everything can be a non negotiable. When you have too many, it gets really really hard to find anything to wear. If you say I only wear my best colors and I only wear my best necklines and I only wear natural fibers and I only wear tops that are mid hip length and I only wear. Okay, you get my drift, right? A lot of women have a lot of unnamed non negotiables that are keeping them from easily finding clothes. So really examine your own list and see if there are any that are preferences that might be a little bit flexible, right? They're not actually non negotiables. A few non negotiables helps you build a wardrobe you actually want to wear. But too many keeps you from building a wardrobe you can wear. So find that happy medium. On the flip side we've got number five and that is your not for me. Listen, I am a big believer in never say never. But you can believe me when I say I will never ever wear the kind of low rise jeans that we wore back in the aughts. I won't do it if that is all that's out there in stores I will start having my clothes made. I tried them and I didn't like them and I'm not going back. They are not for me and that's okay. Your not for me list can be colors that make you feel terrible, fabrics you can't stand, silhouettes you don't feel good in. Mock neck tops are another on my not for me list. I have tried them and I don't like the way I look or feel in them. Every once in a while though, I will come across a cute one or a cute sweater and think, well, I don't know, maybe. But no, I know myself well enough to know that I am not going to wear it. Just like your non negotiables, your not for me list should be big enough to keep you from buying things you're not going to wear, but not so extensive that you're not open to anything new. I think it's a good idea to keep your must haves and your must not have lists pretty specific. So instead of saying colorful pants aren't for me, say light colored pants aren't for me or bright colors on the bottom aren't for me. And remember, if you've never put it on your body, you probably shouldn't put it on your not for me list either. This list should be from experience and learning from the mistakes that you've made in your past. A good thing to do when you have bought something that you end up not wearing and even one of those things that you go what was I thinking when I bought this? Is to really examine why you don't like it. This is the only way to ensure you don't keep making the same mistakes over and over. Here's a good example for you. I don't mind crewneck tops, but what I have found through lots of trial and error is that crew necks with a really wide band at the neck. Those aren't for me. So now I make sure I look at that before I buy anything and it saved me a lot of money and a lot of hassle. So maybe for you it's skirts that hit at a certain place on your leg or pants with on seam pockets. Notice those little things that keep cropping up over and over and add those things to your not for me list. Moving on to number six. Your next personal style fundamental is the kinds of accessories you like to wear. For many, many years I have been asked to give a list of must have accessories or must have jewelry and for many many years I have said I can't do that because accessories are incredibly personal. And often, when people would push back, I'd say, okay, fine, here. Rings and bracelets are must haves. And more often than not, they would say, well, not rings and bracelets. I don't like to wear those. And I'd be like, your honor, I rest my case. The thing is, you'll wear clothes in your closet you're not crazy about. A lot of women live most of their lives doing just that. But you don't wear accessories you don't love. And the difference is that you have to wear clothes. You can't go to work half naked. You can't show up at your kid's school half naked. Right? But accessories, by nature are extra. You don't have to wear them. So unless you love it and you really want to wear it, you simply won't. Which might explain all of the neglected scarf piles and drawers and bins that I have come across over the years. There is no universal must have list for items you don't have to have. The trick is to come up with your own must have list based on what you like to wear. If you own dozens and dozens of bracelets but you never ever wear them, it's pretty safe to say bracelets aren't on your must haves. I don't wear earrings. I. I have a metal allergy in my ears only. And after years of painful trial and error trying to find some that didn't bother me, I finally just decided that earrings weren't worth the hassle and they weren't on my must have list, and I have survived just fine. Also, I hate scarves. I never wear scarves, but I have never met a chunky watch or a brooch I didn't love. So I know what to avoid. And I know where I can spend a little bit extra because the items will actually get worn. Accessories make your wardrobe personal. So spend the time thinking about what kind of accessories you like to wear and what kinds you don't, and build your collection accordingly. Personal style fundamental number seven is your seasonal wardrobe needs. There is an expression attributed to many groups, but it's mostly Scandinavian. So it's a Scandinavian saying that says, there's no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing. And it is so true. Having the right wardrobe for your weather makes living wherever you are a heck of a lot easier. Now, obviously, I'm talking about things like outerwear living where I live, one winter coat would not cut it. I have dress coats and casual coats, long coats, short coats, coats I only wear when it's 25 below zero. But someone living in Florida who experiences a couple of weeks of winter might only need one. And the same thing goes for people who live in rainy climates or who need sun hats every day. Those are the obvious ones. But beyond the coat closet, understanding what seasons mean where you live is really important. Fall and spring are the best examples of this. We have this idea of fall that, like the day after Labor Day, it suddenly turns to sweater weather and it's time to pull out your jeans and your boots and your cozy things. And that's what stores want you to think. It's what we've been trained to think. But you and I both know that's not true. Even in Minnesota, I was in short sleeves well into October. If you live in South Texas, you might never have sweater weather. Fall so what does your wardrobe need for your version of the season? I've seen too many women sweating in their flannel shirts when it's 85 degrees at the pumpkin patch to know we don't spend enough time really thinking about what our specific needs are. So think through your year. What does winter mean to you? When does spring realistically arrive? What do you need? And how much do you need to make the season easy? Also, think through the holidays. Easter is challenging in cold climates like I can imagine. Thanksgiving and Christmas are in warm climates. The clothes in stores aren't naturally made for your weather, but if you plan ahead, you can find what you need and look fabulous for everything. Number eight on the list of personal style fundamentals is your worth it Splurges. One of my least favorite questions. I'll just let you behind the scenes a little bit. One of my least favorite questions is is blank worth it? Like, are hunter boots worth it? Is a, I don't know, Louis purse worth it? It's one of my least favorite questions because there is no way for me to know what is valuable to you. Worth is about value, not price, and value is personal. Think of it this way. Price is objective, right? That's just what it costs. Worth is subjective. It's how much value it has to you. So the real question is, is it worth it to you? Do you love it? Will you wear it? Does it make you feel amazing? Does it make it easier to get dressed? These are all the questions that determine value and worth and go beyond price. So the question is, what is worth it to you? Where are you willing to spend a little bit more in your wardrobe? And on the other hand, what do you think isn't worth it at all for Me tops mostly aren't splurge worthy, but I don't shy away from spending extra on cute sweatshirts. You already know I love those and I will spend anything to get cute shoes for my tricky feet. For you though, maybe it's different. It probably is, because this is about value and worth to you. And your worth it list doesn't have to be pieces either. It can be a color, it can be a designer, it can be a fabric, or it can even be a feeling. Like if you put something on and you just have that absolute all, heck yes feeling when you look in the mirror. That's a. That is could be a worth that splurge to you. When you know what you value, it makes it easier to spend the money on those things. Over the years, I've worked with lots of women who have talked themselves out of buying things that they really loved. And you know, I respect budgets and I don't believe in going into debt for clothes. But usually the pieces in question, they weren't prohibitively expensive and we were always within the budget, but these items were just more than they were used to spending and they didn't really know what they valued, so they couldn't allow themselves just to go for it and commit. If you do that all the time, you end up with a low value wardrobe, which ironically ends up costing more money in the long run because you're always buying trying to find those high value pieces. Like I could buy four $25 sweatshirts, they're fine, and I would always feel like my wardrobe is missing something. Or I could buy $1 100 sweatshirt, wear it to death, and feel like I have a wardrobe that's truly me. That's what understanding your worth it list will do for you. Number nine on our list is you should know your closet workflow. A lot of you have probably heard me say, how do you shop your closet? And what I mean by this is, how do you get dressed each day? Where and how are your clothes stored and do they make sense? Marie Kondo of Spark Joy Fame is a big believer in folding as much as you can, so you get the tactile experience of touching your things more often. For me though, dresser drawers are where clothes go to die. A sad, lonely, never to be seen again death. I only put things in my drawers that I have to go and find, like pajamas or underwear. I will go hunting for those. I need those. But if I put folded tees in there, I'd never wear them again. Out of sight, out of mind. Neither approach is Wrong. But you need to know what works for you. Another example is when we moved into our house, there was not one inch of long hanging space. Like, the previous owners never wore dresses or something. I don't know. It's still a mystery to me. Now I like to hang my pants long so they don't get that fold mark in them. And I do own dresses. So when I redid my closet, I created long hanging space that works better for me. Also, in my old closet, the shelves for folded things were way in the back, but that's what I wear most of the time. So I moved them to the front of the closet just to make getting dressed easier. Often we just make do with the space that we have exactly as it is, and we don't give a lot of thought to whether or not it makes sense or makes it easy to get dressed. In my years as a stylist, I have seen a lot of incredibly, incredibly dysfunctional closets where my clients had to go to, like, three different rooms to get dressed. And. And on the other hand, I've seen lots of super functional closets, and the best wardrobes came out of the most functional closets. Which came first? I don't know. It's a style chicken and egg. I have no idea. But I do know that when your closet workflow makes sense, it's easier to get dressed and use more of what you have. So as you're getting dressed this week, think about whether or not your closet is set up for maximum efficiency. And if it's not, what could you do different? Could you move some things around? What would it require? A total overhaul. What could you do? Even little things just to make it a tiny bit easier. Finally, number 10 is your wardrobe priorities. Wardrobe priorities really show up in two places. Number one, what you buy, and number two, what you wear. So let's talk about what you buy first. On the questionnaire I had all of my clients fill out before we worked together, I asked them what was most important when it came to buying clothes. And I don't now remember all the options, but I know it was things like price, style, quality, fit, flattery, comfort. Those were all on there. And this helped me guide what we shopped for, what I brought her to try on even where we shopped. Like, if quality was number one, we probably weren't going to hit up H and M, but if price was, we probably were. Like everything else on this list, there is no right answer. You get to choose what's most important to you, but know that what you Prioritize will determine the kind of wardrobe you end up with. If you prioritize quality, you're going to end up with a high quality wardrobe. If you prioritize style, you'll probably end up with a stylish wardrobe. Knowing what matters to you will help guide you to get the kind of wardrobe you want. But it can also help explain why your wardrobe isn't working for you. For example, if you are constantly frustrated because your clothes don't last, they look worn out, they're getting those little holes, they're getting all pilly. Whatever. You might be a quality person in your head, but if all of those clothes are from Old Navy, I think we found the disconnect. No shade to Old Navy, but I don't think it's where we go when we want to buy heirloom pieces. Right? If you always feel frumpy and like you never feel put together, it could be that in your head you prioritize style, but your shopping has prioritized comfort. When you identify your priorities, you can make sure that your actions and your purchases support that. The other reason knowing your priorities is important is that you can have anything you want, but you probably can't have everything you want. And understanding that can cut down on frustration big time. I'm going to share a little example of what I mean. And this was in my local Facebook group this morning. You know, those. Those groups are just insane. But here was a post that said this. Looking for plumber or roto rooter suggestions to come out today? Our drain is backing up into our laundry room. We need help asap. Many exclamation marks must be licensed and insured. Reasonable prices, please. Now, if this person is expecting to get all of that, she's probably going to be disappointed, right? It's probably hard to find somebody that can come out right now who is also licensed and insured and who isn't going to cost you an arm and a leg. But if she understands that you can have anything you want, but not everything you want, she's either going to be okay waiting or using someone who's not licensed or paying. More like it just is what it is. What are you willing to give up? This principle also shows up in your outfit priorities. I have shared before that the guidelines for dressing my body shape and the guidelines for my best colors, they conflict with each other. One says go darker on top and the other one says go lighter on top. I can have anything I want, but I can't have everything I want. I have to prioritize it would be great if the styles that you like best and the styles that look best on you were always the same. That would be wonderful. But the reality is they're often not, so you might have to prioritize. Here's the thing, though. I wish more women realized that style points count just as much as flattery points. It is perfectly okay to wear a neckline that isn't best for you. If there's a top or dress that you just love, it will be okay. I promise. And here's the other thing about priorities that I want you to know. They do not have to be set in stone. You can prioritize on a case by case basis. When it comes to shoes, fit and comfort, my top priorities. When it comes to tops, I go for style. Pants are all about comfort. There are some days I want to wear my best colors and other days I want to wear my best styles. My priorities depend on the situation, but having an awareness of them helps me make the right choices to get the results I want all the time. And really, that's true of this entire list. There are no right or wrong answers, and none of these are set in stone. You can change them all the time, but the awareness of them is what will help you get the wardrobe that you ultimately want. So here's your homework. Think through just a couple of these. You don't have to do all 10 at once. If there were one or two that resonated with you while I was going through them, just start there. You don't have to do any long, complicated journaling. Just think about the answers and think about how those answers are affecting your current wardrobe and getting dressed. Do you need to do anything different? Awareness really is the first and most important step. All right, this is our last official Style Fundamentals episode. Next time, we're going to be wrapping up the season answering your questions. There are some really good ones in there that I am excited to answer. I hope this season has helped you better understand the basics of style and has encouraged you to dig a little bit deeper to master those principles. If you want style to be easy, it happens here. It happens in the fundamentals. So with that, I just want to leave you with the same quote that I shared in the first episode of the season from James Clear. Mastery in nearly any endeavor is the result of deeply understanding simple ideas. For most of us, the answer to becoming better leaders, better parents, better lovers, better friends, and better people is consistently practicing the fundamentals, not brilliantly understanding additional details. That is it for this episode of the Everyday Style School. Thank you for spending time with me today. If you are really ready to master these fundamentals and put them into practice so you can love the way you look every day and make style easy, come join me in the Style circle. We have got everything you need to become a personal style expert. Link is in the show notes. I'd love to get to know you in the community. All right. I will see you next time. And until then, stay stylish, Sam.