The Fight of My Life: "Finding Ruby | The Triumph" (Episode 6)

Release Date: October 2, 2022
Podcast: The Fight of My Life
Produced by: Cadence Productions
Theme: The journey from rescue to restoration for a survivor of online sexual exploitation, Ruby, and the courageous act of forgiveness that cements her triumph over trauma.

Episode Overview

This moving final episode concludes the story of Ruby, a survivor of one of the world’s fastest-growing crimes—online sexual exploitation of children (OSEC). Tracing Ruby's journey from trauma and anger to profound healing and forgiveness, the episode dives deep into the power of aftercare, restoration, and the transformative impact of choosing to forgive. It also casts a spotlight on the dedicated advocates and aftercare professionals who support survivors like Ruby well after rescue.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Aftermath of Rescue: Smoldering Ashes of Trauma

• Metaphor of Fire: Exploitation is described as a wildfire, leaving devastation even after being extinguished. The question becomes, "What do you do next with all the broken pieces, all the charred remains?" (03:47)
• Ruby’s Early Struggles: Ruby is overwhelmed by bitterness, shame, and self-disgust post-rescue.
  • "I felt dirty. I felt very disgusted with myself from those things that I've experienced." — Ruby [05:35]

2. The Role of Social Workers and Safe Spaces

• Introduction to Ms. Aseel (IJM Social Worker): Her gentle, steadfast support is pivotal to Ruby’s recovery.
  • Recounts a night when a simple but sincere prayer sparks a key turning point.
  • "And that's the moment that I had a first encounter with, you know, the Lord I believe intimately because my social worker started praying for me." — Ruby [09:50]
• A Vision of Hope: Ruby has a dream echoing Psalm 23—peaceful, safe, and free from the past.
  • "I dreamed of walking in a tall green grasses and I didn't feel unsafe even if I'm alone. I only felt peace." — Ruby [10:40]
• Confirmation through Shared Dreams: Both Ruby and Ms. Aseel, her social worker, report similar dreams—interpreted as validation to move forward with hope [11:41].

3. The Lighthouse Shelter – Restoring Light to Survivors

• Ms. Rosa & Lighthouse: Introduced as a loving, dedicated "mama bear" and co-founder of the shelter.
  • "She was shy... her face filled with so much stories that needed to be unlocked. And there's a lot of fear." — Ms. Rosa on first meeting Ruby [16:34]
• Gentle Aftercare Approach: Survivors are given time and space; communal care is extended with small gestures like favorite foods and celebratory welcomes [14:39].
• Seeds of Leadership: Even in trauma, Ms. Rosa perceives "a leader, a warrior" in Ruby [17:33].

4. The Joy of Aftercare—Glimmers of New Life

• Unexpected Joy: The host describes the palpable lightness and laughter among rescued girls at a shelter.
  • Notable Moment: A smiling three-year-old repeatedly asks the host to be her brother, underscoring the resilience and hope of the youngest survivors [20:18].

5. Understanding Trauma and the Path to Healing

• Aftercare is Not Linear: Lani Ilano (IJM) and Lawrence Aratao (IJM, Director) explain trauma’s complexity, especially when abuse is perpetrated by family.
  • "How can you explain to a child that a crime has been committed or that his or her rights has been violated by her parents? They will always consider their parents as their heroes." — Lani Ilano [23:25]
  • "When it is family... it just feels so much more painful. They will still want daddy... mommy..." — Lawrence Aratao [24:19]
• Restoration is Possible:
  • "Now we have stories like Ruby's... who tell us that it is possible." — Lawrence Aratao [26:11]

6. Ruby’s Transformation: Education, Self-Acceptance, and Spiritual Healing

• Education Restores Agency: Ruby returns to school—"Education motivates Ruby. She wants a future." [27:23]
• Self-Acceptance:
  • "Accepting myself was really hard for me... my aftercare shelter, the programs there, the people there, they taught me how to accept myself." — Ruby [27:55]
• Faith-led Forgiveness:
  • Ruby credits her peace and ability to forgive to a spiritual awakening sparked at Lighthouse.
  • "When I started to slowly surrender to God, my angers, my fears, my hatred towards them, and learned to eventually forgive, that's when I started to finally feel the true... happiness." — Ruby [29:24]

7. The Plea Bargain: Redefining Justice through Restorative Practice

• Complex Decision: Ruby is offered a plea bargain that would reduce her abusers' sentences for restitution and a public apology.
• Ruby Pursues Restoration, Not Retribution:
  • "She wanted for restorative justice to prevail. I think that's what I love about Ruby. She's not after retribution. She wants restoration." — Attorney Cath [34:11]

8. The Courtroom: Triumph and The Power of Forgiveness

• Face-to-Face with Perpetrators: Ruby bravely confronts her abusers and receives a tearful, public apology [36:24].
• A Pivotal Act of Forgiveness:
  • Ruby asks for a private moment to tell her abusers she forgives them.
  • "I'm just doing the same thing (forgiving) because of the love of the Lord... I'm able to do this for you." — Ruby [40:12]
  • She even hugs Nadine, bringing awe to all present.
  • "She gave forgiveness and even hugged the lady who had brought so much devastation..." — Ms. Rosa [41:26]
• Personal Liberation:
  • "Forgiveness, like all precious things, is costly. But she is free. Ruby is really free." — Host [42:24]
  • "Every time I share my story, it empowers me." — Ruby [42:47]

9. Loose Ends – Justice and Healing for All

• Perpetrators’ Sentences: Key details on how justice was served for all involved (Keiko receives life, another is recognized as a victim and released) [43:38].
• Ruby’s Family: Reconciliation with her siblings after her disappearance [46:10].

10. Ruby’s Ongoing Advocacy and Legacy

• Where Ruby Is Now:
  • She has stable employment, continues telling her story, aspires to law school, and wins the "Women of the Future" award (Southeast Asia).
• Message to Others:
  • "Accept yourself. Love yourself. Because other than you, there's no one who could love yourself the way you could. So love yourself and pray." — Ruby [53:41]

11. Final Reflections and Call to Action

• Host’s Motivation: The value of long-form storytelling over soundbites; bringing issues like OSEC to mainstream awareness.
• Potential Miniseries & Bonus Episodes: Cadence hopes to adapt Ruby’s story for the screen; bonus podcast content is planned.
• Supporting the Fight: Encourages listeners to partner with organizations fighting OSEC (e.g., become IJM Freedom Partners).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Ruby on Trauma:
  • "There were nights that I would wake up feeling empty. I was even thinking of ending my life to because I was so helpless." — [07:29]
• Ruby on The Impact of Aftercare:
  • "It took me like years for that change to finally happen." — [27:11]
• Restorative Justice in Action:
  • "She really wanted this because she wanted for restorative justice to prevail... She wants restoration." — Attorney Cath [34:11]
• The Act of Forgiveness:
  • "She gave forgiveness and even hugged the lady who had brought so much devastation..." — Ms. Rosa [41:26]
  • "Forgiveness was a way for me to live freely from anger and pain." — Ruby [42:47]
• Ruby’s Legacy:
  • "You cannot change the world with just your opinion, but with your example. And I want to be that living example." — Ruby [56:32]

Important Timestamps

• Ruby’s Dream & The Turning Point: [00:17] – [11:41]
• Arrival & Experiences at Lighthouse: [12:36] – [17:33]
• IJM/Aftercare Discussion: [22:15] – [26:11]
• Ruby’s Healing & Spiritual Awakening: [27:11] – [29:24]
• Plea Bargain Offer and Reasoning: [30:05] – [34:40]
• Courtroom Confrontation & Forgiveness: [35:52] – [41:53]
• Justice and Updates on Others Involved: [43:38] – [46:10]
• Ruby’s Message to Survivors: [53:41]
• Ruby’s Call to Be an Example: [56:32]

Tone & Style

The episode is narrated with deep empathy and respect, blending raw survivor testimony with reflections from advocates and caregivers. The language is personal, emotionally resonant, and often literary, but always accessible and hopeful, even when confronting harrowing subject matter.

Summary

This powerful finale demonstrates not just Ruby’s unyielding courage but the essential role of community, aftercare, and faith in the long, nonlinear journey toward healing. The forgiveness Ruby offers is presented as both a deeply personal achievement and a radical act of reclamation. Her advocacy is ongoing, a testament to the ripple effect of one survivor’s triumph in the face of extraordinary odds.