Summary of "How Toxic Masculinity Still Holds Men Back" Featuring Lisandra Vasquez

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Find Out Podcast
• Host/Author: Find Out Podcast
• Episode Title: How Toxic Masculinity Still Holds Men Back (Featuring Lisandra Vasquez)
• Release Date: May 13, 2025

Introduction and Guest Background

In Episode Nine of The Find Out Podcast, hosts Chris, Tim, Luke, and Ethan welcome their first guest, comedian and TikTok star Lisandra Vasquez (00:00). Lisandra introduces herself as an Atlanta-based Puerto Rican comedian who has recently pivoted to political satire on TikTok, particularly gaining attention through her daily press briefings impersonating a fictional Republican press secretary, Caroline Levitt. She highlights her commitment by mentioning, “Today was my 53rd day in a row of doing morning daily press briefings dressed as the press secretary, Caroline Levitt” (01:29).

Satirical Content and Its Impact

Lisandra discusses the mental toll of maintaining her satirical persona over an extended period. When asked about her mental health after 53 consecutive days of satire, she quips, “My best friend was like, you're going to need a very specific kind of therapy after this” (01:38), and explains her coping mechanisms, such as having a separate wardrobe for her character and incorporating humor to keep the process lighthearted (01:53). She emphasizes that her work is a vessel for delivering satire on current political absurdities, rather than delving into personal darkness.

Trending Up Conference and Democrat Influencers

The conversation shifts to the recent Trending Up conference in Washington D.C., where the hosts and Lisandra discuss the growing importance of influencers in the Democratic Party's outreach strategies (02:51). Lisandra describes the experience as meeting “people from all different walks of life” who are committed to creating diverse content without forcing them into a singular mold (05:01). Chris elaborates on the necessity of leveraging content creators as mini media companies to reach broader audiences, noting that “the right has been doing this for 20 years, and we've really just been doing it for six months” (08:07).

The New Pope and Political Implications

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing the recent election of Pope Leo, the first American Pope, and his stance on issues like immigration and his criticism of Donald Trump and J.D. Vance (20:03). Chris explains the Pope’s influence, stating, “There is the Catholic Church turning to the devil? Because they're like, I don't know” (24:47). The hosts debate whether the Pope’s message can sway Catholic voters away from MAGA ideologies, with Derek questioning the Pope’s actual influence on deeply entrenched political beliefs (23:10).

Exploring Toxic Masculinity

The core discussion centers on toxic masculinity and its effects on men’s mental health and relationships in 2025. Chris introduces the topic by connecting it to broader societal issues, stating, “How do we break out of that? How do we start to develop community for folks, for men in particular” (40:17). Lisandra provides a female perspective, highlighting the challenges women face in dating men who seek overly submissive partners and emphasizing the lack of emotional support systems for men (33:09).

Effects on Dating and Relationships

Lisandra elaborates on modern dating dynamics, noting that many men desire partners who fulfill unrealistic and traditional roles, such as being a "submissive provider" while also contributing significantly to household income (35:00). She points out the imbalance where women actively work on themselves, whereas men often do not receive the same encouragement for emotional growth, leading to shallow relationships and dissatisfaction.

Emotional Development and Community for Men

The hosts and Lisandra discuss the scarcity of supportive communities for men, contrasting it with the rich emotional support systems available to women. Tim shares his personal experience with therapy and marriage counseling, emphasizing the importance of vulnerability and emotional intelligence in fostering healthy relationships (38:33). The conversation underscores the need for creating spaces where men can openly discuss their feelings without stigma.

Differentiating Progressive Men from Traditional Roles

The discussion moves to how progressive men can differ from traditional masculine roles. Chris shares his upbringing, highlighting strong female role models and a family culture that promoted equality and respect (47:18). Luke adds that his positive relationship with his father instilled values of respect and equality, contrasting sharply with more traditional, rigid male roles (48:08). Ethan echoes this sentiment, describing his upbringing by a biologist father and feminist mother who modeled a balanced, egalitarian household (52:12).

Personal Experiences and Role Models

Each host shares personal anecdotes illustrating how their upbringing influenced their views on masculinity and relationships. For instance, Chris credits his grandmother and parents for teaching him respect and equality, while Tim reflects on the impact of a transformative relationship with a peace activist (51:00, 52:12). These stories highlight the importance of positive role models in countering toxic masculine norms.

The Responsibility of the Audience

Ethan brings a critical perspective on privilege, emphasizing that while toxic masculinity affects men, marginalized groups face far greater challenges (63:53). He urges listeners not to fall into self-pity and to recognize their privilege, advocating for solidarity without overshadowing the struggles of more vulnerable communities.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

In wrapping up, Chris underscores the importance of representation and fostering environments where men can lead by example in embracing empathy and respect (63:53). Lisandra suggests that exposure to diverse lifestyles can help break down prejudices, advocating for "exposure therapy" to normalizing progressive values (60:52). The episode concludes with an invitation for listeners to reach out for support and emphasizes the collective responsibility to create healthier, more equitable communities.

Notable Quotes:

• Lisandra Vasquez (01:29): “Today was my 53rd day in a row of doing morning daily press briefings dressed as the press secretary, Caroline Levitt.”

• Chris (08:07): “The right has been doing this for 20 years, and we've really just been doing it for six months.”

• Lisandra Vasquez (33:09): “So they feel like we owe them something and then they get angry, and that's where we get angry.”

• Ethan (63:53): “It is an absolute privilege, without a doubt, to be in the majority because it's a choice. Nobody else has a choice if they're going to suffer the consequences.”

• Chris (63:53): “Representation matters. And in order for men to see a place for them on the more progressive side where they treat women with respect and we, we, kindness and empathy are considered strengths, not weaknesses. They have to see it.”

This episode of The Find Out Podcast offers a multifaceted exploration of toxic masculinity, weaving personal experiences, political satire, and societal analysis to shed light on the challenges men face today. Through engaging dialogue with Lisandra Vasquez, the hosts advocate for emotional growth, community support, and progressive values as essential tools in overcoming the detrimental effects of toxic masculinity.