You've heard me say it before: feedback too early in your writing process is useless at best and derailing at worst. But at some point, feedback from readers you trust becomes absolutely critical.

In this episode, I'm sharing two concrete examples from my memoir You Might Feel a Little Pressure—one story I was resistant to cutting and one I almost cut but didn't. Both taught me something important about when feedback matters, how many people you need to hear from before making big decisions, and why reasonable people can disagree about what belongs in your book.

If you've ever gotten conflicting feedback or weren't sure whether to take someone's advice, this episode is for you.

Love the show? Share it with a fellow writer or leave a review! For more resources, visit thebookincubator.com.

Let's connect! Come say hi on Instagram: @book.incubator

Happy writing! — Mary

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RESOURCES:

+ Learn my Four Notebooks Method & get your free template:
http://bit.ly/3wGmMTc

+ A Novel in 52 Prompts - A scene-by-scene blueprint for writing your novel:
https://www.thebookincubator.com/novel-in-52-prompts

+ Ready to write your dream book? Apply for The Book Incubator in just 5 minutes with no obligation to enroll and get my free 60-minute training HOW TO WRITE YOUR DREAM BOOK WITH A FULL-TIME JOB (AND A LIFE):
https://bit.ly/3wEwrJQ

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Hi, I'm Mary!

I'm the author of the novels When You Read This (Indie Next Pick and “Best Book of 2019” by Good Housekeeping), Privilege (Today.com “Best Summer Read”), and Palm Beach (New York Post “Best Book of 2021” and “like a sandy beach, equal parts beautiful and uncomfortable” according to the Associated Press). My memoir, You Might Feel A Little Pressure, was released by Third Rail Press in 2025.

My books have been published in 13 countries, and I've written for the New York Times, The Atlantic, Slate, and more. I founded an MFA-alternative, The Book Incubator, which has now helped hundreds of writers finish their books over 12 months and continues supporting them through publication (yes, forever!).

When I’m not writing, I’m probably building a fort with my 7-year-old son Finn or bathing with an overpriced Lush bath bomb. I live in Dallas, where I spend my free time trying to domesticate a stubborn tabby and shamelessly watching reality TV.

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Social:

+ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/book.incubator

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S10 E03 Why and When We Actually Need Feedback: 2 Times Feedback was Critical for My Book & What to Learn From It