"Ballroom Blitz" – The Five (FOX News Podcasts)

Episode Date: December 12, 2025

Overview

This lively episode of The Five centers on high-profile political controversies and cultural flashpoints dominating the news cycle—including claims about Trump's political doom, Gavin Newsom’s healthcare policies, the so-called "War on Christmas," viral moments in pop culture, and a round of spirited, offbeat banter. True to the show’s format, the five hosts riff candidly, debate fiercely, and punctuate serious discussion with humor and sarcasm.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Trump’s Political Standing & Media Narratives

Timestamps: 00:36 – 09:34

• Democrats Predict Trump’s Demise: The panel mocks recurring Democratic narratives insisting Trump is finished, contrasting them with his visible confidence at public events.
  • Greg Gutfeld jokes: "He's done... You're a loser, dude. You're losing everywhere" (01:44)
• Cultural/Liberal Fatigue Over Trump: Kathy Griffin’s morbid boredom and Rachel Maddow’s warnings are cited as examples.
  • Rosanna Scotto quoting Griffin: “I’m just waiting for him to die so he will die sooner than later. He is disgusting to look at…” (02:03)
  • Rosanna Scotto referencing Maddow: “Trump is not going to end up being the dictator of this country…” (02:38)
• Debate Over Economic Narratives:
  • Inflation and tariffs are raised by Jessica Tarlov, arguing Trump’s tariffs were tax hikes; countered by others as Democrats avoiding their own inflationary record.
    • Jessica Tarlov: “The nonpartisan Tax Foundation just tweeted that the Trump tariffs are the largest US tax increase as a percent of GDP in 30 years.” (04:19)
    • Charlie Hurt: “If you want to talk about affordability, I don’t know how you talk about that now after years of ignoring 9% inflation.” (03:42)
• Polling & Party Control:
  • Poll numbers suggest Trump could still beat Kamala Harris—despite attempts to spin fatigue and decline.
  • Rosanna Scotto: “...at some point, you have to say the story says more about the storytellers than the subject.” (06:34)

Notable Quote

“With Trump, we’re like the kid on the block with all the cool toys... Jessica, she’s like the kid on the block with a stick and a jar of bugs.”
— Greg Gutfeld (07:22)

2. Gavin Newsom and Health Care for Undocumented Immigrants

Timestamps: 10:47 – 18:49

• Newsom’s Admissions:
  • California’s governor openly supports and funds health care for undocumented immigrants, saying “I did it. We failed on the border. We need to own up to that.” (11:07)
• Minnesota’s Fraud Scandal:
  • News of a massive Somali fraud case leads to broader criticism of Democratic fiscal management.
• Debate Over Health Policy:
  • Jessica Tarlov clarifies it’s not “free” health care; they must buy into the system like citizens, but others say most Americans oppose taxpayer-funded care for illegals.
  • Charlie Hurt: “In the general, you get slaughtered because 62% of the American people do not want health care for illegal aliens... financially, it’s ridiculous.” (13:48)
  • Jessica Tarlov: “The truth is... every state in America gives health care to illegals; it’s just whether you do it in an emergency room or with insurance.” (12:27)
• The Exodus from California:
  • Greg lists celebrities leaving California, arguing Newsom’s policies—high taxes, free services—drive out high earners.

Memorable Moments

• Greg Gutfeld on Newsom:

  “The only thing he has going for him is he looks presidential. Other than that, it’s terrible. If you want to hire an actor, go ahead. I mean Reagan was an actor, but at least he had vision.” (14:28)

3. The ‘War on Christmas’ & Jingle Bells Debate

Timestamps: 20:43 – 26:43

• Joy Reid, Jingle Bells, and Historical Context:
  • Joy Reid surfaces a claim that “Jingle Bells” was originally a racist minstrel song. The academic whose work is cited says it’s misrepresented.
  • Greg Gutfeld satirically riffs: “Everything is racist. Throw me a word.” (21:38)
  • Segue into a comedic routine, lampooning how anything fun is now labeled problematic.
    • Greg, deadpan: “Look, I need outrage Viagra because I can’t get it up anymore” [re: outrage fatigue] (22:21)
• Seriousness vs. Humor:
  • Discussion about separating performance history from intent of holiday traditions. Jessica Tarlov calls for nuance, “When you’re citing an academic paper, you should read the whole thing...” (25:57)

Notable Quote

“Are they still doing this? ...Anything in life that is fun is racist because someone out there is having less fun than you are...”
— Greg Gutfeld (22:22)

4. Pop Culture: Viral Trends & Social Commentary

Timestamps: 27:13 – 32:24

• Shoplifting Study:
  • Discussion about a study showing rich people admit to stealing more at self-checkouts—cast as a “vice signal” vs. “virtue signal.”
  • Greg: “Okay, this is what’s called a vice signal... yeah, I may be rich, but I do some really bad things.” (29:00)
• In-N-Out’s Viral Meme:
  • Chain removes ticket number 67 due to internet pranks; panel jokes about generational divides and racial overtones.
• Time Magazine’s Person of the Year:
  • This year’s choice: the “Architects of AI.”
  • Rosanna: “Who runs the world? Now it turns out whoever controls the algorithm...” (31:47)
  • Greg: “It’s kind of like Time’s tombstone. It just says AI…” (32:05)

5. Audience Q&A and Lighter Fare

Timestamps: 33:44 – 41:53

• Fan Mail:
  • Overrated foods: Sushi, avocado toast, and boxed chocolates top the list; Greg quips “I’m just gonna go with vegetables. Right. Vegetables. Come on…”
  • Have you failed to look cool? Panel unanimously agrees self-consciousness is embarrassing—and often futile.
  • “If time machines were real...” Fun inventions about living in different historical eras from Woodstock to the Roaring 20s.
    • Jessica Tarlov: “I’d like to go back to when my dad was alive... that could only just be like 2019.” (38:06)
• Whimsical Wrap-Ups:
  • Longest dog tongue world record, a giant alligator at 7-11, and skydivers with a record-breaking flag all make for offbeat holiday-adjacent stories as the episode closes.

Notable Quotes

• Greg Gutfeld on Media Hysteria:

  “We never said the walls were closing in. We never said the dam is breaking. We never said he’s toast. We knew better... We didn’t hallucinate this kind of existential explosion that our viewers so desperately wanted to hear.” (07:45)

• Jessica Tarlov on Partisan Narratives:

  “...at some point, you have to say the story says more about the storytellers than the subject.” (06:34)

• Rosanna Scotto on American Exodus:

  “So many people are leaving California... You got celebrities who leaving California, like Joe Rogan, he moved to Texas. Elon Musk, he moved his company to Texas...” (15:02)

Humorous Highlights

• Greg on Outrage Fatigue:

  “I need outrage Viagra because I can’t get it up anymore.” (22:21)

• On In-N-Out’s Ticket Numbers:

  “This is racist. Why are they banning six, seven?... And by the way, the name is disgusting.” (30:49)

• On ‘Most Overrated Food’:

  Multiple panelists: “Sushi!” “Avocado toast!” (34:12 – 34:35)

• On Trying to Look Cool:

  Charlie Hurt: “I used to think it was really cool to have great posture. So I used to walk in the room like this... then I look like an idiot.” (36:09)

Key Timestamps

• Trump Narrative & White House Ball: 00:36 – 09:34
• Newsom’s Health Care for Undocumented Immigrants: 10:47 – 18:49
• War on Christmas/Jingle Bells Racism Claim: 20:43 – 26:43
• Shoplifting & In-N-Out Meme: 27:13 – 32:24
• Fan Mail & Fun Banter: 33:44 – 41:53

Overall Tone & Takeaways

The Five balance serious discussions on divisive cultural and policy issues with irreverent humor, personal anecdotes, and fast-paced banter. The episode synthesizes the ongoing partisan media environment and shifting public narratives, with each host leveraging their trademark style to entertain, criticize, and occasionally provoke. It's both a window into the right’s take on current hot-button stories and a showcase of the chemistry—and comedic snark—that continues to define the program.

Useful if you missed the episode: Spans the serious (policy and politics) and the silly (Christmas song controversies and fan Q&As), with sharp lines and a rapid conversation style.